


Frozen Fire

by HaemophilusLeona



Series: Edward's Twilight Saga [3]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Book: Eclipse, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-05-01 14:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 42
Words: 240,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5208890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaemophilusLeona/pseuds/HaemophilusLeona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward's Eclipse. Sequel to Saudade, Edward's New Moon.<br/>With graduation looming, Bella's imminent death is an ever present threat to our happiness. She is destined to be killed, either by Victoria, by a strange, new intruder, by my father, or by me - the vampire who loves her. Bella has another option, though. She could live, if she would acknowledge her love for that mutt, Jacob Black!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of Edward's story. The first book, Saudade is New Moon from his pov. I haven't done Twilight from Edward's pov, because Stephenie Meyer already did with Midnight Sun. While not necessary to follow the story, I encourage you to read Saudade first (and Midnight Sun, of course!) if you haven't done so already.  
> I'm also posting a new story, Eternal Teenager, that covers Edward's early years.  
> All characters, the main story line, as well as most of the dialogue that happens with or near Bella are directly from Eclipse and belong to SM, not to me.

**Prologue**

I was a monster, a killer. I had always known this to be true. This year alone, I had already killed three times. Before that, hundreds had died by my teeth, maybe even thousands. I didn't know anymore; I stopped keeping track long ago.

Yet there were other monsters than just me in this world. I was a predator who was designed to kill, but today, we were the ones being hunted, and they outnumbered me.

The plan was clear in the ferocious female's mind and a trickle of fear ran down my spine as I watched it play out: she would use her companion to distract me. Riley, the name was supplied by her when she thought of him in scorn. And while I fought him off, she'd dart around me to snap Bella's neck. She wouldn't bother drinking her right then; that would take too much time. She didn't doubt that I would kill Riley ... _good riddance..._ but once Bella was dead and I was distracted by my grief, she would rip my head off, then my arms and legs.

The images of my death were so vivid she may as well have been watching it happen, and I felt the heat tingle in my extremities as though the fire had already been lit. One by one, she would burn my fingers and toes, then my legs and arms, slowly turning me into ashes while I watched, helpless, unable to even scream. And as I watched myself burn, she would position my head so that I could see her drink the blood of the human girl she had been aching to kill for months. Only when Bella was drained and the last bits of me were burning would she throw my head in, completing my death at long last.

"Who?" Bella's voice was full of fear, though she only spoke the one word, and I knew that she had understood at once: we were under attack.

"Victoria," I growled furiously. This was my fault! I had let her escape. Instead of focusing all of my energy on chasing the ferocious vampire, I had dallied in Phoenix when I'd _known_ that she was connected to Bella. That I hadn't known exactly how didn't matter. I should have seen that she was a threat. I should have concentrated on tracking her. Bella had been lost to me at the time. What good had stalking the human girl's past done for me? I could have ended this long ago, but no.

"She's not alone. She crossed my scent, following the newborns in to watch – she never meant to fight with them. She made a spur-of-the-moment decision to find me, guessing that you would be wherever I was. She was right. You were right. It was always Victoria."

I heard my voice in Victoria's mind as I spoke, and felt her thrill of victory. She loved that I had known that she was coming, that I had apparently lived in fear of her, that I knew she was to be the instrument of my death. I heard Bella's heart stumble and then break into a sprint. The scent of her fear-induced adrenaline filled the air, but she didn't speak again, waiting with me in silence for the vampires to show themselves.


	2. Accusations

**Accusations**

"… _And in other news, authorities have released the name of the victim of last night's devastating fire which broke out around 4am on South Marine View Drive. Twenty-three year old Katie Sullivan is the latest in a growing number of victims from what firefighters are calling an extraordinary number of house fires._

" _Seattle has experienced an unprecedented number of seemingly unrelated deaths over the past three months, and the fire which destroyed Miss. Sullivan's home appears to have followed the same pattern as the previous ones. Each one has happened in the middle of the night, or in the early morning. None of them had any obvious cause for the fire, such as faulty wiring or cooking accidents. And in every case, there has been at least one fatality. So far, the only connections investigators have made in the deaths of the people involved has been the fires themselves._

" _Investigators are unsure if the arsonist is acting alone, nor are they even able to prove that there is, in fact, an arsonist at all. The perpetrator has, so far, managed to cover all traces of their crime. No eyewitnesses have reported seeing anyone suspicious in the areas involved, and there have been no physical traces of accelerants, despite the extreme high temperatures these fires have reached._

" _Authorities are urging anyone with any information to call the Hotline at…"_

After listening to a good five minutes of some drivel about rising costs in a local coffee chain, the news anchors had finally gotten around to covering the story I'd been waiting to hear.

The authorities were under the impression that a monster was loose in Seattle. They were right, of course, but it was not a human monster. My family recognized the pattern for what it was and were appalled at the number of deaths that had been occurring in the city. There was a vampire in Seattle, one who was drawing far too much attention. Most of our kind did their best to hide their kills, which was surely what these fires were meant to do, but this monster was drawing attention with his methods. Burning his victims' houses down was the opposite of remaining inconspicuous.

His solution for hiding his kills showed a lack of knowledge at best, and the numbers showed that he was apparently very thirsty. Aside from the fire related deaths the humans were reporting, there had been several others that we believed were also related to the vampire's activities, bringing the total of dead to eight already this week. Yes, very thirsty.

Thinking of his thirst made me aware of the dry, burning ache of my own throat. Unsure whether to be pleased by the lack of evidence, or to be concerned over the fact that the humans were noticing anything at all, I stood from my chair.

"I'm going hunting," I announced as I headed for the front door.

My parents were cuddling on the couch, but my father stopped me as I strode past them. "Wait, Edward, I'll come with you." Carlisle planted a kiss on Esme's cheek before rising and walking outside to join me on the porch. He gestured to the forest surrounding our house. "Shall we?"

I grinned and leapt from the porch, running up the well-worn path into the park. He was beside me in an instant, running at close to his top speed, though I was not pushing myself. I glanced at my father, about to tease him for his slow pace, but the angry set of his mouth stopped the words before I could speak. Concerned, I paid attention to his thoughts, hoping to figure out what was bothering him, but he was hiding them from me. Again.

Ever since we had returned to Forks, Carlisle had been keeping his thoughts hidden from me. Today, he was running an article that he'd read about the discovery of a protein that could be an early indicator of heart disease through his mind. Though I'd have been glad to discuss the medical advances with him, he was obviously doing so to hide what he was really thinking from me, so I kept my mouth shut, giving him what privacy I could.

We came across the scent of a family of deer and my nose wrinkled in disgust. Seeing my expression, Carlisle raised an eyebrow at me.

_I thought you were thirsty?_

"I am, but I'm not _that_ thirsty. You can have deer if you want; I'm going to keep hunting."

_Go ahead, then. I'll catch up with you._

I shrugged in acquiescence and took off on my own, breathing in the scents of the forest. I was surrounded by small animals in their burrows, but passed them by, finding them even less appealing than the deer had been. It had rained earlier, and I could smell the damp earth as well as the rotting plant life that littered the forest floor. Finally, I caught a whiff of something stronger and changed direction to follow the fading scent higher up the mountain.

I followed the trail, keeping an eye on the ground for a print. Finally seeing one, I squatted down to examine the mark the large cat had made in the damp earth. A mountain lion had passed this way. Judging by the size of the paw print, it was a big one, hopefully a male. The last two weeks I'd been out, all I had found were females with cubs in tow. I wanted a male.

Jogging through the trees as I continued to follow the lion's scent, I noted other paw prints here and there. After a few miles, I slowed and crept around a pile of boulders where I detected a strong odor of fresh urine – the lion marking his territory. I continued to follow the lion's trail and caught a stronger whiff of the dusty musk that drew me. I could hear the rhythmic sound of his heart, as well as the low _hungh-hungh_ of his panting. With a light spring, I grabbed a low branch and swung up into the trees so that I could peer over the rocks, catching sight of my quarry at last. A male, as I had suspected. A big one.

I felt my lips curl back from my teeth in anticipation.

Carlisle was welcome to all the deer he wanted. Deer were plentiful, but even so, their population couldn't take unlimited hunting. I'd had so many of them lately, but they just didn't satisfy, and I had to be careful not to affect the environment. That was one more reason I had left the females alone. Perpetuation of the species was necessary, but this male was mine, and far more appealing than the timid deer had been.

Quietly springing to a ledge above where the lion dozed, I crouched in preparation before launching myself upon the predator. He didn't have time to do more than grunt before I had my arms wrapped around him. He sprang to his feet, trying to shake me off. His claws raked down my arms where they were clasped around him, but my grip was tight, cutting off his air supply, and he only struggled beneath me for a few seconds before collapsing. I twisted hard, breaking his neck, and sank my teeth into the large artery there. His blood flooded my mouth and I drank deeply, sighing in relief at the rich flavor.

Dropping the large beast, I wiped my hand across my mouth, pleased to see that I hadn't spilled any. Mountain lion was my favorite predator and I hated to waste even a single drop. I'd never enjoyed deer; their flavor was so bland that I guessed it was akin to a human chewing on cardboard. Predators had so much more flavor, and the strength that drinking them brought was more powerful, too. The Olympic peninsula had a broad range of wildlife to choose from: wolves, coyote, foxes, the various weasel species, the lions I loved and their smaller cousins, the bobcats, as well as many bears. But their numbers were far fewer than the prey they hunted, meaning I often resigned myself to deer. Still, deer were better than nothing, though most of my kind wouldn't agree. Vampires usually hunted only humans.

The soft earth gave way easily under my hands as I quickly dug a trench to bury my kill. The rangers would notice if we left a bunch of bloodless corpses lying about and my family was always careful to hide the remains of the animals we killed. Scavengers would have found them eventually, but we couldn't take the chance of their corpses being found by humans first, especially when we killed the predators. Though we didn't hunt humans, we were far more careful than the one attracting all that attention in Seattle.

Glancing at my watch, I saw that it had gotten later than I expected. Trying to find a male lion had taken more time than if I'd just grabbed a deer or two, but I felt much better for the rich flavor the predator had given to me than I would have on a whole herd of deer. Jumping over the pile of boulders, I launched myself in the direction of home. Carlisle would be waiting for me. Though we often hunted together, lately I had been going out far more often than any of my family needed to.

I had spent much of the past year not hunting for food at all. Depression affected a vampire's hunger – or thirst – just as it did a human's. Now that I was hunting again, I was hunting a _lot_. I couldn't seem to keep up with my body's demands for the blood I had denied it for so many months. It used to be that I only needed to hunt once every two weeks. At that time, my family and I would range as far away as necessary to spread out our kills. We would spend several days at a time drinking as many large animals as we could get away with.

No longer willing to go so far away from home – or to spend even one day away – I limited myself to whatever I could find in the local parks - hence all the deer. I'd been going out nearly every other day and this meant I had to be even more careful not to affect the local ecology. Drinking a single deer or two at a time did little to satisfy my needs, though, and barely touched my eye color.

I was glad Carlisle had decided to accompany me, even if he was in a sour mood. I thought that, when I caught back up to him, I might try to tease the reason out of him. I found him waiting on a low ridge that overlooked the river that ran near our house.

 _Good hunting?_ he asked me with a strained smile.

"Found a lion." I grinned at him. "Found signs of a bear, too. Looks like hibernation season is over."

"About time." He sighed. _Emmett has been sulking lately._

It had been unusually cold this spring and the bears hadn't left their dens yet the way they normally would have by this time of year. Where mountain lion was my favorite, grizzly bear was Emmett's.

"He's not the only one." I elbowed him in his ribs. "What's bothering you?"

"You've been hunting a lot, lately," he observed.

Confused, I glanced at him. I would've thought he'd be happy that I was hunting again. I noted the crease between his brows and the set of his mouth. Something was worrying him, but he was still refusing to let me see what it was. "Yes, I have," I agreed, letting him lead the conversation to where he wanted.

_I can't help but to remember the last time you were this thirsty._

I turned to face him, frowning. "What's your point?"

I saw him remember the months leading up to my defiance, to the time in my life when I had left Carlisle and Esme to live as a traditional vampire did. He remembered how my eyes were nearly always black in the weeks before I left, no matter how often I hunted - much as they were now. He remembered my foul moods then, my aggressive and often rude behavior, and then he remembered my depression from last year.

"You promised me when you returned to us that you would come to me if you were having problems. You swore to me that you would not leave us like that again."

"You know why I left last year," I said, flatly.

"I do. I also know how depressed you were when Alice found you. And how unstable you were when you left to hunt for Victoria." His mind was firmly avoiding thinking of his purpose in taking me on this trip down memory lane.

Frustrated by his hesitancy, I complained, "Carlisle, I'm going to be late."

"Jasper has been noticing some odd emotions coming from you lately. Especially when watching the news and the vampire that is doing so much killing in Seattle." He paused and then finally said what was on his mind. "He says you've been feeling guilty."

I considered his words for a few minutes before admitting, "I'm not following you."

"Was Victoria the only thing you were hunting?" he asked, bluntly.

"I – " I stared at him for a moment, trying to see past the medical terminology he was running through his mind to keep me out. Finally realizing what his anger meant, I demanded, "Are you trying to ask me if I was off hunting _people?"_

"Were you?" His face was stern, angry.

My jaw dropped, and I whispered, "How can you ask me that? Do you really think I would go back to my old ways like that again?"

"I don't _want_ to think that, no. But I need to know. Alice saw things that bothered her while you were gone, and she refuses to tell me what it was. Jasper says something is bothering you, still. I need you to tell me the truth now, son. What were you doing when you left last year?"

"I wasn't hunting humans," I snarled and began to stalk back toward the house. "I fed all of three times after I left Bella, and they were all animals. I'm thirsty _now_ , for no other reason than making up for lost meals."

I felt the relief in his mind. _…forgive me, Edward. I had to know… had to be sure…_

"There's nothing to forgive," I mumbled as I stopped walking and turned back to face him. Slowly, I took a deep breath and prepared myself to be honest with him. "I didn't drink any humans. But," I saw his eyes widen and forced myself to continue, "I did… kill."

"What?!" he gasped and hurried to close the distance between us.

"A vampire attacked me," I explained. "He would have killed me, but I killed him first." I hung my head, feeling the same horror as I had felt then.

… _self-defense, then…_

"Does that matter?" I demanded, angrily. "Killing for any reason is still killing!"

"It is. And it isn't. Even humans acknowledge the legality of defending oneself."

"You're going to talk to me about human _laws_ now?" I scoffed. "Legal it may be, but moral? I knew it was wrong then just as I do now."

"So it would have been moral to let him kill you instead? I don't think so. The vampire you killed would have taken my son from me. I can't say I'm pleased that you killed him, but tell me – be honest – was there anything you could have done differently? To avoid killing him?"

"He was a newborn," I answered slowly. "He'd come across my scent and followed me. I questioned him about Victoria and our conversation… didn't end well. He attacked me; I defended myself. He nearly had me at one point," I admitted, rubbing my arm. The limb was whole, with no trace of any damage, but I could remember the feeling of my arm nearly being twisted off.

Carlisle reached out to grip my shoulder. "I'm glad you told me. And I'm very glad you're home with us. If you're thirsty, then hunt. As often as you need." He leveled a hard stare at me. "And you need to let the past go, Edward. How often do I have to tell you not to dwell on things you cannot change?"

My lips twisted. I felt better for having confessed one of my sins to him, but I hadn't been completely honest with him. Yes, I had killed the one newborn when he'd attacked me, but I'd also killed another vampire who hadn't attacked me – not really – and I'd killed Maria, the vampire who'd created Jasper. I didn't think I was ready for _that_ truth to come out.

"Come on," he said, shoving me lightly. "Race you home?" He took off without waiting for my reply. I laughed, counting to thirty before sprinting after him.

Speeding back to my home, I was far from depressed, grinning broadly in anticipation of what I knew awaited me. I caught up with Carlisle just before we reached home, passing him with a laugh as I leapt over the river. Seconds later, I sprang up the steps of my house, with Carlisle right on my heels. I found my brothers still watching television, waiting on the next news program to see if they offered any further information about the Seattle vampire.

They weren't talking about the house fire anymore. This news program was focused on a multiple murder that had occurred outside of a bar the previous night. They were blaming the increase in homicides on a new gang in the area. I shook my head. The humans would blame each other and waste time chasing an imaginary gang when the real killer was beyond their comprehension.

"'Sup, little bro? Good hunt? Catch another deer?"

I scowled, wrinkling my nose and boasted, "No, Em. Carlisle had deer. _I_ caught a lion."

"You sure? Looks like it caught _you."_ He snickered and gestured toward my ruined shirt.

"You're one to talk. Have you ever managed to kill a bear without ruining your clothes?"

He shrugged. "They're more fun when they put up a fight."

"Well, they'll be fighting soon. I saw some tracks while I was out."

"Finally! I'm as sick of deer as you surely are."

I grunted in agreement while Carlisle chuckled from his study.

"We need to plan an extended trip this weekend. How's Mount Rainier sound?" His eyes darkened perceptibly at the thought of drinking his favorite prey.

"Fantastic. But only after I've talked to Alice."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry. She'll keep Bella safe while we're gone."

Jasper spoke up, "Count me in."

"Carlisle?" I offered.

"No, thank you. I'm on call this weekend. I'll join you next time."

"Your loss," Emmett grunted with a shrug. He flashed his teeth and wiggled his eyebrows. "More for me."

I laughed in agreement and went to my room to change out of my ruined shirt. I took care to scrub my hands and nails to remove all traces of dirt from the grave I had dug and retrieved a stack of college applications. It was nearly time for me to see my Bella.

My girlfriend, Bella Swan, was on strict lockdown, a punishment she had earned when she had disappeared for three days. A punishment that had been made worse when Jacob Black – a werewolf who was my biggest rival for her affections - had attempted to keep her from me by exposing to her father how she had been risking her life on a motorcycle. Now her father only allowed me to see her in the evenings from seven until nine-thirty.

Of course, he couldn't keep me from seeing her at school, and I spent every night in her room, lying with her sleeping in my arms, but he wasn't exactly aware of _that_. I had little doubt that he would have tried to kill me if he ever found out. Not that he'd be successful, but that wasn't the point. He hated me enough as it was.

Today, he was planning on lifting her restriction. I couldn't wait for her to tell me the good news. It had been almost impossible to keep it from her, but I wanted to make sure her reactions were authentic when Charlie told her she was no longer grounded. Bella was a terrible liar. Being forced to spend so many hours away from her was agonizing, but nowhere near as painful as the seven months I'd spent away had been. That I'd only been trying to save her life did not lessen my pain, then or now.

My sister, Alice, had a gift unlike any vampire known to any of our kind before. She had the ability to see the future. Ever changing and fluid, based on a million different decisions, the possibilities that flowed through her mind were visions of what might come to pass. Sometimes these visions could be altered, but others in her mind were firm and unavoidable.

It had been Alice's visions of Bella's future that had prompted me to leave the previous September. From the time that I entered her life, Bella had only had two possible futures. Either I would kill her, or she would become a vampire herself. No matter how I fought against these futures, they remained firm in Alice's mind. I had been tortured by Alice's visions of Bella's future. Through Alice's mind, I saw the girl I loved die over and over. I did everything in my power to prevent it – I pushed her away in the beginning, I fought against my nature as we fell in love, I _left_ – but all of my efforts were in vain; I had only been able to delay the inevitable.

Bella was going to be a vampire, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Although Alice's visions of Bella's death had tortured me, the possibility of Bella becoming a vampire was just as bad. Though my family did not hunt humans, we had all – with the exception of Carlisle – killed humans in the past, whether it was by accident or intentionally. I could not bear the thought of Bella killing. I knew what killing had done to me and the thought of her becoming a killer was repulsive.

Dreading what this future would mean to her didn't prevent me from wanting what this future meant for _me_. If Bella became a vampire, I would never have to lose her. I loved the fragile human girl more than I had ever thought it possible to love anyone. To be able to spend eternity in her arms… Heaven itself couldn't compare. As a killer, a vampire, a damned, soulless creature, I had no hope of any other kind of Heaven.

As much as the idea of a real hunting trip appealed to me, I hated the thought of being so far away from Bella. She didn't like when my eyes turned black with thirst. Not for herself - she was as willing to stare into the black as the gold - but for me. She knew that I hurt when I thirsted. When I tried to put off hunting, she practically pushed me out the door.

"Hunt," she would insist. "Go, have fun. I'll be fine." She'd put on a grin, kiss me, and send me on my way. I couldn't tell her how I ached when I was away from her. How I hated to let her out of my sight, even for a few hours. Every mile away seemed like a reminder of how I had betrayed her, how I had left. How I had promised I would never leave again.

And here I was, planning to leave.

Scowling, I headed back downstairs. Esme was waiting by the front door, having just retrieved the mail. "You've got some mail, Edward." She smiled as she handed me a large packet. I opened the envelope and glanced at the information inside quickly.

"Thanks, Esme!" I grinned, my good mood returning as I sprinted to my car. I'd been accepted in the University of Alaska. I laughed to myself, looking forward to being done with high school. I'd always enjoyed college more than high school and held a dozen different degrees. This time around, though, the only subject I was interested in learning about was Bella.

Like me, Bella had suffered when I left. I hadn't understood then that she really loved me. I knew humans changed, they formed and broke their relationships all the time. I had thought that when I left her, she would move on. I was wrong. As incapable of living without me as I was without her, she had flung herself off of a cliff. She protested that it was recreational, that she hadn't meant to kill herself, but no one believed her, least of all me.

The seven months I'd spent apart from Bella – and the day I spent believing her to be dead – had shown me just how much I needed her and how desperately I wanted to spend eternity with her in my arms. Although dreading what it would mean for her, I finally accepted that she would be one of us and agreed to turn her myself… if she would marry me first.

She hadn't agreed to marry me yet, but she hadn't told me no, either. Stuck at this impasse, we carried on as though graduation was no different for us than it was the rest of the school. During the brief hours Charlie allowed me in his house, I brought over applications for various colleges to help her fill out.

This day was no different and I planned on bringing the next stack over to her house, despite my acceptance from the University of Alaska. There was always the chance that Bella might change her mind about where she wanted to go next year. Or better, the reason for needing to go there. Not that it was likely. Bella was stubborn and determined to become a vampire no matter what I said. Enrolling in college in Alaska was her way of saying goodbye to her father and to her friends. As a newborn vampire, she would not be able to be around any humans for some time, unless she wanted to become the killer I so feared.


	3. Ungrounded

**Ungrounded**

I arrived at Charlie's house a few minutes early, taking Alice's place outside of their house and sat on the porch, listening to Bella's conversation with Charlie. What I heard wasn't making me happy the way I had anticipated, though. I had looked forward to her being ungrounded so much, but I should have foreseen the way Charlie would encourage Bella to use her freedom to see the  _dog_. Charlie hated me, but Jacob he liked.

"The Blacks are practically family, Bella," Charlie was saying to her. "And Jacob has been a very,  _very_ good friend to you."

"I know that," she responded quietly.

"Don't you miss him at all?"

Bella's voice was thick with emotion when she answered him, "Yes, I do miss him. I miss him a lot." I was growling and grinding my teeth at this.

The Quileutes were a local tribe who had the ability to take on the form of a wolf, to become werewolves, for all intents and purposes. Bella and Jacob had grown up together, but it wasn't until I left that they really became good friends.  _Best_  friends. I knew that Jacob had saved Bella's life many times over the months that I was away. That didn't make me hate him any less. The dog was in love with Bella, and Bella cared for him far too much for my peace of mind.

The werewolves were dangerous, worse even than vampires. They were volatile and quick to anger and their transformations from human to wolf were dangerous to any humans who happened to be nearby. Even had the boy been human, I would not have wanted Bella to spend time with him. She was  _mine_ , and the fact that she cared for him at all tore at me. That he was not human, but belonged to a pack of my mortal enemies - which my family had a treaty of noninterference with - just complicated things further.

"Then why is it difficult?" Charlie asked. He, of course, had no idea any of us were anything other than human. Bella couldn't tell him that Jacob hated my very existence, nor that she would become his enemy when she became a vampire.

Trying to find some way to explain her estrangement to Charlie, Bella slowly said, "With Jacob, there is a… conflict. A conflict about the friendship thing, I mean. Friendship doesn't always seem to be enough for Jake."

"Isn't Edward up for a little healthy competition?" His voice was sarcastic, but his mental tone was seething with hatred for me. He was thinking words I would never repeat in Bella's presence, along with...  _anything to get her away from that lousy, no-good… can't believe she took him back after all he put her through… stupid jerk…_

Bella's voice was flat when she answered him firmly, "There's no competition."

I took a deep breath, trying to control my anger. She might miss her friend, but it was  _me_  she loved and wanted to be with.

"You're hurting Jake's feelings, avoiding him like this. He'd rather be just friends than nothing."

I wished it  _was_  Bella who was avoiding Jacob, but unfortunately it was the other way around.

"I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't want to be friends at all. Where'd you get that idea, anyway?" Her voice sounded annoyed, now. Whether it was at Charlie or at Jacob, though, I wasn't sure.

"The subject might have come up today with Billy…"

Jacob's father Billy Black was one of Charlie's best friends. Billy's father, or perhaps his grandfather, had been the chief of the small tribe and it was with him that my family had made the treaty. We would stay off of their lands and, as long as my family never bit a human, they would not reveal to them what we were. Ephriam Black along with two others in the tribe had been werewolves. It had been their instinct to attack us even though my family had outnumbered them. We could have killed them easily and they knew it. That we chose not to had given them a reason to listen to us, and eventually to agree to the treaty.

"You and Billy gossip like old women," Bella complained, and I heard the sound of silverware scraping across a plate with excess vigor.

"Billy's worried about Jacob. Jake's having a hard time right now… He's depressed." I snorted.  _I_  knew depression. I had lived it for seven months. What Jacob was doing wasn't being depressed; he was sulking. Charlie sighed, "And then you were always so happy after spending the day with Jake."

I laughed at Bella's furious tiger-kitten snarl. "I'm happy  _now_." After a pause, she and Charlie laughed, too. "Okay, okay. Balance," she said in reaction to a part of their conversation I must have missed.

"And Jacob," he pressed.

"I'll try," she agreed.

"Good. Find that balance, Bella. And, oh, yeah, you've got some mail. It's by the stove." There was something smug about his tone and I thought about the package I'd received earlier that day, seeing a similar one pictured in his mind. Grinning, I waited, but heard only the scrape of silverware against plates. Then I heard the sound of a chair moving and a papery thud followed by the sound of paper scraping against plastic and a  _thunk_  when it came to rest against something.

"Er, thanks," Bella said, sounding confused. "That was quick. I guess I missed the deadline on that one, too," her tone changed to one of chagrin.

Charlie laughed. I caught the sound of paper again, and then an annoyed, "It's open," from Bella.

"I was curious."

"I'm shocked, Sheriff. That's a federal crime," Bella teased.

"Oh, just read it." More rusting of paper was followed by a proud, "Congratulations. Your first acceptance."

"Thanks, Dad."

"We should talk about tuition. I've got some money saved up – "

"Hey, hey, none of that. I'm not touching your retirement, Dad. I've got my college fund."

My Bella was a caretaker and didn't like when others tried to help her in any way. I shook my head. I had money. Lots of it. Thanks to Alice's ability to see the future, she had taken my already sizable inheritance and invested wisely. She had done the same with Carlisle's generous doctor's salary. I could have sent Bella to any college she wanted without blinking, but she refused my help in any way. I liked that she was so self-sufficient, but I wanted to share what I had with her. Having money for the sake of having money seemed pointless to me if there was no one to share it with.

"Some of these places are pretty pricey, Bells. I want to help. You don't have to go all the way to Alaska just because it's cheaper." I heard the worry in his voice.

Charlie didn't know that we weren't going to Alaska because of the price. We were going there because it was far from any human she loved and might hurt. And because it was overcast year-round with the added benefit of Alaskan hunting. Polar bears were almost as much fun as grizzlies, and much bigger. Though I still feared what would happen to Bella when she became a vampire, I looked forward to hunting with her. A low chuckle escaped my throat at the thought of my delicate, fragile-seeming, newborn Bella tackling a polar bear.

"I've got it covered. Besides, there's lots of financial aid out there. It's easy to get loans." Bella's almost flippant tone worried me. She was such a bad liar and I could tell that she really hadn't looked into college costs at all, not actually planning on attending class.

"So…" Charlie began, but then changed his mind. I wasn't his favorite subject.

"So what?" Bella pressed.

"Nothing. I was just…" he wavered, but then pressed on. "Just wondering what… Edward's plans are for next year?" It was just past seven now, so I decided to save Bella from having to come up with an explanation and hastened to her door.

"Oh."

"Well?"

I knocked lightly and instantly heard Bella spring from the table.

"Coming!" she called and I heard Charlie mutter at the same time, "Go away." I chuckled.

I felt my muscles tense in anticipation, but this was no longer from the monster in me longing to strike her down and drink her blood. This was the man in me, eager to hold the woman I loved. She flung the door open and I was bathed in her heavenly scent. I closed my eyes briefly, breathing her in before allowing myself to marvel at her beauty. She was radiant, glowing with a happiness that may have been from not being grounded anymore, or it may have been because we were finally together again. Unable to hear her thoughts, I couldn't be sure, but I liked to think it was the later reason.

Bella's dark hair tumbled down over her shoulders, her loose curls disheveled and carelessly beautiful. Most women could spend hours primping in front of a mirror and never achieve her natural beauty. She didn't wear make-up, for which I was glad. I wanted nothing to hide her perfection. I watched her eyes as they traveled over my face and a light blush brought a swirl of blood to her cheeks. Her lips parted and I heard her heart skip and her breathing stop. Finally, her eyes met mine and I lost myself in their melted chocolate depths. She was so lovely. I marveled again at how I managed to win the heart of such a gorgeous angel, wondering how someone as unworthy as I was had gotten so lucky. Just as I worried that she really should start breathing again, she reached for me and sighed.

"Hey," she said with a wry smile.

Her warm fingers twined with mine and I held back the shiver her touch gave me. Having her silky skin against mine was electric and I could feel the charge in the air between us, pulling me closer to her. Without my conscious decision to do so, I felt my hand – still twined with hers – lift to trace her smooth cheek. I felt the extra warmth of her blush against the back of my cold hand and breathed deep again, tasting the way the blush changed her flavor.

"How was your afternoon?" I asked softly, just hoping she would speak again so I could hear her voice.

"Slow," she sighed.

"For me as well." I was glad I'd had hunting to distract me from counting the seconds. Every minute I spent apart from her seemed longer than the one before.

Listening to her heart begin to race, I moved our hands from her face to mine, brushing my nose against the smooth skin of her wrists. I closed my eyes and felt the rhythmic pulse of blood just under the surface, smiling at the flutter I could both hear and feel. No longer afraid that I would be overcome by the monster inside of me, I gloried in her unique scent. She truly smelled better than any flower, sweeter than honey, and more desirable than water to a man in the desert. No longer capable of living without her, the time we spent apart was more painful for me than the burn from the scent of her blood had once been.

I heard Charlie's grumbling thoughts as he stomped his way to the front door and I regretfully opened my eyes and forced myself to lower her hand, though I refused to let go. While Charlie may hate me, I had a great deal of respect for him and always did my best to treat him as any gentleman should treat the father of his lady.

"Good evening, Charlie."

He narrowed his eyes at me and grunted, not giving in to the words that he wanted to say. He contented himself with crossing his arms and giving every bodily indication of "unwelcome" short of shoving me off his porch. Trying to distract him from his violent mental images, I held up the stack of applications I had brought over for Bella to fill out.

"I brought another set of applications," I grinned at Bella's groan, and twirled the roll of stamps I had wound around my finger. I knew she was tired of all the paperwork, but Charlie liked our occupation and held out hope that the college I would choose would be far across country from the one his daughter would attend.

There were so many choices for colleges just in the north west and I'd only just brought over some from the east coast today. Bella had once told me she'd never been east of Albuquerque – aside from her flight to Italy to save my life, of course – and I was hoping I could talk her into considering one of those in New England. It was so pretty there with lots of mountains and wildlife, and plenty of cloud cover.

Her face was disbelieving and a little awed. I'd asked Esme to look into colleges for me weeks ago and had been slowly working my way through the stack she'd gathered. Bella didn't have to go to Alaska, just to get the distance she would need as a newborn. There were online courses she could take, and night courses for me, too, and the added fees for late applicants really wasn't an issue.

Holding back my laugh, I said, "There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make an exception." I anticipated her reaction to that, knowing how she felt about me spending money on her. She didn't disappoint and I was unable to stop myself from laughing at her expression this time.

"Shall we?" I asked and dragged her to her kitchen table, Charlie gritting his teeth behind us. I ignored his angry thoughts, concentrating instead on the feeling of Bella's hand in mine. Bella and Charlie had just finished eating when I'd knocked and she hadn't cleared the table off yet. She cleaned up while I organized the stacks of papers. As she cleared off the table, I saw her remove the book she'd been reading.  _Wuthering Heights._

 _Again?_  I thought, not understanding her fascination with the story. I was going to say something about it, always hopeful to gain some insight into her mind, but Charlie suddenly spoke the thoughts he'd been keeping in.

"Speaking of college applications, Edward, Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you're going to school?" He was hoping I had and that he could steer Bella far away from that area. His voice was surly, aggressive even.

I made my tone as friendly as possible and answered him, "Not yet. I've received a few acceptance letters, but I'm still weighing my options."

"Where have you been accepted?"

I decided it wouldn't hurt to try to impress him a little. Anything that could improve his opinion of me was a good thing. Shrugging nonchalantly I said, "Syracuse… Harvard… Dartmouth… and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today." I turned just so that he couldn't see me and winked at Bella. It wasn't really a lie. I'd already been the Harvard route and hadn't bothered applying there this time. Dartmouth, though, had offered me several scholarships.

Bella turned away from Charlie, too, unable to hide her grin, but doing a good job at holding back the laugh I could see trying to escape.

Happily, my acceptance into the prestigious universities had the effect I was hoping for and Charlie's opinion of me increased - even if only slightly. Every little bit helped, but it was instantly replaced with the hope that I choose one of those and  _not_  one near Bella.

"Harvard? Dartmouth? Well that's pretty… that's something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska… you wouldn't really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to…" It was almost amusing the way his thoughts were whirling. Though he didn't like me for what I had put Bella through, he admitted to himself that he had always respected my father and he still liked my sister.  _…kid's not dumb I s'pose… offer Bella a good future… assuming he doesn't abandon her first chance he gets…_

"Carlisle's always fine with whatever I choose to do," I told him calmly.

His thoughts hardened suddenly, wondering if this carefree attitude was what made me so irresponsible where his daughter was concerned. If my father didn't care what I did, it was no wonder I hadn't cared much either.

"Hmph," he grunted, his brief good opinion of me disappearing back into sullen anger.

 _Damn it! I couldn't just leave it alone, could I?_  I thought.

Oblivious to Charlie's inner wavering, Bella turned to me with a bright smile and a little too much laughter in her voice. "Guess what, Edward?"

"What, Bella?"

"I just got  _my_  acceptance to the University of Alaska!" She pointed to a large envelope just like the one Esme had tossed to me earlier.

"Congratulations!" I grinned at her, enjoying the charade. "What a coincidence."

Charlie looked back and forth between us, suspicious thoughts flowing through his mind. "Fine," he grumbled, not deceived in the slightest. "I'm going to go watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty."

"Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom…?"

Charlie sighed, he  _had_ forgotten, and wished now that he had put off giving Bella her freedom, after all. "Right. Okay,  _ten_ -thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights."

Not needing to feign my excitement, I asked, "Bella's no longer grounded?" Just because I knew it was coming, didn't mean I was any less happy about it.

"Conditionally," Charlie growled at me. "What's it to you?"

"It's just good to know. Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and I'm sure Bella would love to see some city lights." I smiled at her, glad that I could be completely honest on both counts. Alice had been chafing under Charlie's restrictions almost as much as I had. Since I was unwilling to let her use any of Bella's free time, she had been complaining loudly that I was monopolizing her best friend.

I felt Charlie's sudden icy fear and he flushed darkly, growling, "No!"

"Dad! What's the problem?"

"I don't want you going to Seattle right now."

"Huh?"

"I told you about that story in the paper – there's some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?"

Bella rolled her eyes, completely unconcerned about the dangerous killer. The fearlessness that made her unafraid to be around me extended to any danger to herself. She had no concerns for her own well-being. She was as comfortable in a house full of vampires as she was around a pack of werewolves. I was grinding my teeth as she answered him.

"Dad, there's a better chance that I'll get struck by lightning than that the one day I'm in Seattle – "

I interrupted her, "No, that's fine, Charlie. I didn't mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn't have Bella in Seattle either. Of course not." As sweet as her blood smelled, I was sure that the vampire would make a bee-line right for her. Though her scent was especially potent to me, no vampire we'd ever met could deny her appeal.

I noticed the newspaper Charlie had been reading was open to the Seattle story and picked it up, looking for any information the news programs may have omitted. I saw Bella eyeing me in surprise, but ignored her disbelief for the moment. I couldn't exactly explain with Charlie there.

I felt the relief in Charlie's mind and he shrugged acquiescence at Alice taking Bella to Portland. "Fine." He turned to leave, glad his game gave him an excuse to get away from me. Charlie didn't share Bella's oblivion to danger and he never felt comfortable around me, his justified anger aside.

When Charlie turned the TV on, Bella turned to me. "What – "

I stopped her, he may have turned it on, but he wasn't watching just yet. His ears were straining to pick up our conversation, hoping catch anything we may have been unwilling to say in his presence.

"Hold on," I murmured and pushed the first application toward her. "I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same questions." I said loudly, for Charlie's benefit.

With a sigh, Bella turned her attention to the application while I continued to read the paper. It had basically contained the same information. Brutal murders, nightly disappearances. I knew it was a vampire, but I felt strangely ill at ease, like I was missing something. I stared out of the window without seeing the rain, trying to make a sense out of a larger pattern.

When looking for Victoria, I had canvassed Seattle. The only vampire I had found there had been a young hunter, a creature who had preyed almost exclusively on young women. He'd called them dinner dates. He would charm them, bed them, and then drink them. Seeing the memories he'd had of the violent ways the women would meet their ends, I had been unable to stop myself from killing the hideous predator. I wondered who had moved into Seattle in his absence.

I heard Bella snort and looked at her as she shoved the application she'd been filling out aside.

"Bella?"

"Be serious, Edward.  _Dartmouth?"_

I picked it up and placed it back in front of her. She was highly intelligent and I knew that she'd have no trouble fitting in among the other ivy league students. She never did see herself clearly, either in her estimation of her physical beauty or in her belief in what she was capable of.

"I think you'd like New Hampshire," I said softly. "There's a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife." I grinned at her and heard her body react. I'd prefer Dartmouth to Alaska. Though I didn't plan on really studying any subject other than Bella, at least the classes at Dartmouth would be less boring. She took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes at me.

"I'll let you pay me back, if that makes you happy. If you want, I can charge you interest," I added, holding back my laughter.

"Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe. Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?" She sat back and crossed her arms, glaring at me. She was so stubborn. Having decided on Alaska, she saw no need to look at any other options.

"Will you just fill out the application, please, Bella? It won't hurt you to apply," I begged her.

She ground her teeth and stuck to her original decision. "You know what? I don't think I will." As she moved to reach for the application, I snagged it off the table and tucked it into my jacket faster than her eyes could follow.

 _Fine, then. Willing or not, she_ will _apply._  I was determined to see to it that she lead the best life possible, whether she liked it or not. I was certain that once there, she'd find that she liked it - though I doubted she'd admit it, even then.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, seeing my motives even if she couldn't see my actions.

"I sign your name better than you do yourself. You've already written the essays." I explained calmly.

"You're going way overboard with this, you know," she whispered. "I really don't need to apply anywhere else. I've been accepted in Alaska. I can almost afford the first semester's tuition. It's as good an alibi as any. There's no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is."

I may have accepted her future, and even looked forward to what it would mean to me, but I was still terrified at what it would mean to  _her._  I wanted her to stay human, to live her life. I loved her pure soul and hated to see her so eager to throw her humanity away.

"Bella – "

"Don't start. I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlie's sake, but we both know I'm not going to be in any condition to go to school next fall. To be anywhere near people."

"I thought the timing was still undecided. You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you've never had." Though she had convinced Carlisle to change her after she graduated, there was no set date, and if she agreed to marry me, there was planning involved. There was no reason to rush into something so irreversible. I watched her sadly as she dismissed her life as unimportant.

"I'll get those afterward."

"They won't be  _human_  experiences afterward. You don't get a second chance at humanity, Bella." Not caring that it was inevitable, or even that I had agreed to kill her myself, I was still hopeful that she would change her mind. She wasn't the only one capable of being stubborn.

"You've got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward," she sighed. "It's just too dangerous to mess around with."

"There's no danger, yet," I assured her.

Alice had been watching both Victoria and Aro – the leader of the Italian coven, the Volturi - carefully. For the moment, Bella was safe. Victoria was hunting somewhere up north and had no plans on coming after Bella in the immediate future. She was sticking to the forests and outskirts of a city, nothing I recognized as in or around Forks. Small houses, abandoned lots and railway cars, a large house on a hill, trees, a flash of a river… I'd watched Alice's visions carefully, but saw nothing familiar.

Aro, too, was patient. He'd lived for over three thousand years. For all that I was nearly a hundred and five, and Carlisle was over three hundred and sixty years old, we were children compared to Aro. He could afford to wait. He'd seen Bella's potential when he'd tried to read her mind – and failed – and when the others had been unable to affect her either. Jasper could sense and affect her emotions and Alice could see her future, but those abilities were the only two she'd been susceptible to so far. When Alice, Bella, and I had left Italy, it was with the knowledge that Aro wanted all three of us in his service. He could only obtain that by allowing Bella to live and be changed in her own time.

I watched Bella closely, looking for any signs of her changing her mind. I saw her brow furrow, the crease between her eyes forming as she worried her bottom lip with her teeth. I was distracted for a moment with the thought of tasting that lip for myself - then brought my attention back to the discussion at hand. I heard her heart rate increase and saw how nervous she was, even if she'd never admit it to herself, much less to me.

"Bella, there's no hurry. I won't let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need."

"I want to hurry," she whispered. Her mouth twisted and she said, "I want to be a monster, too."

While she might be able to poke fun at my vampire nature, this was no laughing matter! Grimly, I ground my teeth together and flung the newspaper on the table, pointing furiously at the headlines. "You have no idea what you're saying." The words on the paper announced in large print:

**Death Toll On The Rise,**

**Police Fear Gang Activity**

Uncomprehending, she asked, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Monsters are not a joke, Bella." During my months away from her, while I tracked Victoria, I had seen more than my share of human death at the hands of vampires. I'd used the human's records of their deaths to follow her activities and those of others I'd run into along the way. Humans would blame accident, illness, human actions, or animal attacks on the deaths, but I could recognize them for what they were. Murders by monsters. The kind of monster I once was. The kind of monster she was rushing to become.

She looked back at the paper and then studied my face for a moment.

"A… a  _vampire_  is doing this?" she whispered. I was glad to see comprehension in her face and smiled grimly.

"You'd be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news. It's easy to recognize when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were." The way she would be, no matter how I tried to protect her.

My eyes pleaded with her to understand. To see at last why I so desperately needed her to stay human. She avoided my gaze.

"We've been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there – the unlikely disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed-of corpses, the lack of other evidence… Yes, someone brand-new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the neophyte…" I breathed deeply, wondering yet again where they had come from. I had killed Seattle's resident vampire already. "Well, it's not our problem. We wouldn't even pay attention to the situation if it wasn't going on so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences."

Bella's face was sad as she stared at the paper. In a low voice, she insisted, "It won't be the same for me. You won't let me be like that. We'll live in Antarctica."

Alaska was one thing; at least there were polar bears in Alaska. Antarctica, though… Even if it were farther still from human habitation I didn't relish the idea of what we'd be forced to live on there. "Penguins, lovely," I snorted, tired of the fight.

Her voice still shaky, she laughed halfheartedly and shoved the paper to the floor. "Alaska, then, as planned. Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau – somewhere with grizzlies galore."

"Better," I grinned, thinking of Emmett's enthusiasm for our upcoming hunt. "There are polar bears, too. Very fierce. And the wolves get quite large." Alaskan predators were plentiful, fierce, and delicious.

She stared at me, open mouthed, her breath whooshing out in a sharp gasp. Confused, I stared at her.

"What's wrong?" Suddenly, my insensitive words hit me and I realized why she looked so upset. My muscles locked as I understood.  _Jacob, again._  "Oh. Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is offensive to you." True wolves were delicious.  _Werewolves_ , on the other hand, smelled like warmed death - no doubt a defense mechanism. I couldn't imagine trying to drink the blood of any of the small tribe. My stomach turned just at the thought. But I hadn't meant to hurt Bella's feelings and felt bad.

"He was my best friend, Edward. Of course the idea offends me." Her voice was hard, angry.

"Please forgive my thoughtlessness. I shouldn't have suggested that." I may as well have just suggested she dine on Charlie when I had mentioned wolves and wanted to kick myself. She cared for the mutt far too much.

"Don't worry about it," she muttered, not meeting my eyes. Her hands were clenched and though she may have forgiven me, she was still upset.

I reached for her, needing to see her eyes. Placing one finger under her chin, I tilted her face up to mine. I tried to convey with my eyes how bad I felt at causing her any pain. "Sorry. Really."

Her expression softened. "I know. I know it's not the same thing. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's just that… well, I was already thinking about Jacob before you came over." I tried to reign in my anger. I knew she had been. I had heard her talking to Charlie about him. I hated that he held such a place in her heart. I wanted to be the only man in her life… except for her father, of course. "Charlie says Jake is having a hard time. He's hurting right now, and… it's my fault."

"You've done nothing wrong, Bella." She was always so quick to take the blame. She'd never have developed her friendship with him if I hadn't left.

She took a deep breath. "I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And it's one of Charlie's conditions, anyway – "

I felt my face growing harder with every word she spoke. Of course Charlie would want Bella to spend as much time with Jacob as possible. Anything to get her away from me.

"You know it's out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war?" I demanded.

"Of course not!"

"Then there's really no point in discussing the matter further." I let my hand fall away from her face, knowing she wouldn't appreciate me kissing her right then like I wanted to. Desperate for something else to talk about, I glanced around, my eyes falling on her warn book.

"I'm glad Charlie has decided to let you out – you're sadly in need of a visit to the bookstore. I can't believe you're reading  _Wuthering Heights_  again. Don't you know it by heart, yet?" I teased her.

Not quite matching my playful tone, she responded, "Not all of us have photographic memories."

"Photographic memory or not, I don't understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly people who ruin each other's lives. I don't know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isn't a love story, it's a hate story." I cocked my head at her, trying to understand the workings of her mysterious mind.

"You have some serious issues with the classics," she snapped, offended.

"Perhaps it's because I'm not impressed by antiquity," I smirked, being among those considered antique myself. "Honestly, though, why  _do_  you read it over and over? What is it that appeals to you?" I reached across the table, needing to touch her again, and took her face in my hand, looking into her lovely eyes.

"I'm not sure…" she sounded kind of dazed and I held back a chuckle, wanting to hear her answer. "I think it's something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart – not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death, in the end…"

I thought about what she said, a glimmer of understanding forming. Of course she would see that as attractive, knowing that I would not let even death separate us. When she died, joining me in this strange afterlife, we would be together forever. I smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood. "I still think it would be a better story if either of them had a redeeming quality."

She argued with me, "I think that may be the point. Their love  _is_  their redeeming quality."

"I hope you have better sense than that – to fall in love with someone so… malignant." Of course, I was far more evil than any storybook human.

"It's a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with, but even without the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well," she said with a bit too much force. She didn't like when I talked about my monstrosity.

"I'm glad  _you_  think so," I said with a quiet laugh, knowing that most rational people would disagree with her.

"Well, I hope you're smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff."

"I'll be on my guard," I promised, enjoying her teasing tone.

She sighed and put her hand over mine, pressing her face into my palm. "I need to see Jacob."

She had no idea how much those words hurt me. I closed my eyes, "No." I said in a tone that left no room for argument.

"It's truly not dangerous at all," she begged me. "I used to spend all day in La Push with the whole lot of them, and nothing ever happened." But even as she said the words, I saw her realize the lie in them as a flicker of fear crossed her face. I wasn't sure of the details, but I knew she had seen them transform. The wolves were dangerous and she knew it, no matter how she protested. I felt her body temperature change and her palm suddenly became sweaty against the back of my hand.

I nodded, knowing she had heard the lie just as I had. "Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed." I'd known the pack seventy years ago. I had seen the results of their changes and the tragedy that had occurred had caused the entire tribe a lot of pain, and nearly a war with a neighboring tribe. I watched her as she considered my words, her emotions plain on her face. Whatever she was remembering only reinforced by what I had told her.

My point made, I waited for her to speak. "You don't know them," she insisted.

"I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here the last time."

"The last time?"

"We stared crossing paths with the wolves about seventy years ago… We had just settled near Hoquiam. That was before Alice and Jasper were with us. We outnumbered them, but that wouldn't have stopped it from turning into a fight if not for Carlisle. He managed to convince Ephriam Black that coexisting was possible, and eventually we made the truce."

I saw something in my words startle her and pressed on.

"We thought the line had died out with Ephriam. That the genetic quirk which had allowed the transmutation had been lost…" I broke off and glared at her. "Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we'd have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands," I teased her. She was a danger magnet. If there was anything even remotely threatening in the area, it would track her down. I shook my head in amazement.

She was staring at me in surprise. "But  _I_  didn't bring them back. Don't you know?"

"Know what?"

"My bad luck had nothing to do with it. The werewolves came back because the vampires did."

I stared at her in shock. Did she really believe that? What could one have to do with the other?

"Jacob told me that your family being here set things in motion. I thought you would already know…"

Thinking hard, I wondered if that could be true. "Is that what they think?"

"Edward, look at the facts. Seventy years ago, you came here, and the werewolves showed up. You come back now, and the werewolves show up again. Do you really think that's a coincidence?"

 _Huh._ "Carlisle will be interested in that theory."

"Theory," she scoffed, absolutely convinced she spoke the truth.

We were natural enemies. Even their smell warned us off. They were one of the few things other than another vampire that had the ability to kill us. As we had evolved beside the humans as their predators, could the wolves have evolved as well to keep our numbers in check? Though we did a good enough job of that on our own. Territory disputes had kept vampires at each other's throats for millennia. Though I was sure there existed other shape shifters than just the small tribe that lived here, I had never run into any. I had, however, run into many other vampires.

I was disturbed by the thought that not only was my existence evil enough already, just being here was harming an entire people. How much more would it take to convince Bella that I was a monster?

"Interesting, but not exactly relevant. The situation remains the same," I muttered, firmly. She was to go nowhere near the dangerous pack.

She got up and walked over to me, her face grave. Happy for any excuse to touch her, I was thrilled when she climbed into my open arms, snuggling into my body. Her warmth and her scent were a presence on their own and I breathed her in, loving the way she fit against me. My happiness was short lived when she continued to argue with me. It was hard enough to resist giving her anything she desired, but she was using her entire body as a weapon against me, now.

"Please, just listen for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in  _pain._  I can't  _not_  try to help him – I can't give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he's not human all the time… Well, he was there for me when I was… not so human myself. You don't know what it was like…" She paused, assessing the affect her words were having on me. "If Jacob hadn't helped me… I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward."

I  _hated_  the dog! Even more, I hated that I had driven her into his arms. He didn't know pain, not yet. I wanted to teach him what pain was. With every word she spoke, I wanted to rip him to pieces. I wanted to hear him scream in pain, pain that could never match the agony I felt at hurting Bella in the first place, no matter how hard I tried. I knew, though, that it was myself that I hated, for having caused Bella pain. My fists were clenched and my muscles locked against the memory of what I had seen and heard in Charlie's mind.

When I had left, trying to save her life, I had nearly killed her. She had sank into a depression as bad as my own. Though she tried to hide it from him, Charlie knew she suffered. She had woken him up every night for  _months_  when she screamed in her sleep. Her eyes had been shadowed with grief and sleeplessness. She'd been haunted by my accusations. I didn't want her, I'd told her. She wasn't good for me. Of all the evil I had ever done, those two lies were the worst.

"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you. Not if I live a hundred thousand years," I whispered.

I felt her press her soft hand against my face and was grateful for her love and forgiveness. Forgiveness I didn't deserve. Love I didn't deserve. How I wished there had been some other way to make myself safe for her. I'd been so certain that I would kill her if I stayed, and even now I was sure that I would end up taking her life one day. It was my fate. Now, having suffered through her death, there was nothing ever that would make me desire her blood again, but it killed me that I had been so blind, so selfish and self-absorbed. I  _should_  have tried something else, anything else. There must have been some other way, a way that would not have been so painful to her, a way to make me safer for her.

Especially now that she had convinced Carlisle to change her if I didn't, it seemed so pointless. If I had just accepted her destiny as my mate, I could have stayed and she would never have had to suffer. I hated the thought of her becoming like me: dead, a monster, a killer. It was inevitable, though. It was her destiny to die, and it was mine to kill her.

I sighed and opened my eyes, looking at her and loving the color of her liquid brown eyes. I wished they would stay brown for eternity, that there was some way to keep her without making her a monster.

"You were just trying to do the right thing. And I'm sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters." She was such an angel. All that I had done to her and still she loved me, forgave me.

"If I'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a  _dog_ ," I said, furiously.

I saw her flinch at my words. I was usually careful to speak respectfully of Jacob, out of consideration for Bella's feelings, but I hated him so much that it was hard to make myself sound like less of a jerk.

"I don't know how to phrase this properly," I  _had_  to make her see. Didn't she understand how important she was to me? How desperately I loved her, needed her? "It's going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I've come too close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am  _not_  going to tolerate anything dangerous."

"You have to trust me on this. I'll be fine," she insisted.

"Please, Bella," I begged, softly. I stared hard into her eyes, willing her to understand, to see my need for her. I had to  _make_  her understand my all-consuming love for her, how necessary she was to my life.

She blinked a few times, her eyes loosing focus. "Please, what?"

"Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help."

"I'll work on it," she said sourly, with a twist to her mouth.

"Do you have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?" I hugged her, reminding myself to be gentle, terrified of losing her. I pressed her body close to mine and tucked her head under mine, so that I rested my chin on the top of her head.

She tilted her face up and pressed her warm lips against my neck. I could feel her breath as she whispered, "I know how much  _I_  love  _you._ "

"You compare one small tree to the entire forest."

"Impossible."

I sighed in pleasure. Her love was such a comfort to me. I kissed her head, wishing it was her lips I was tasting instead. Firmly, I insisted, "No werewolves."

"I'm not going along with that. I have to see Jacob."

"Then I'll have to stop you." She may be stubborn, but that was one thing we had in common, and I had a weapon she did not. Alice already kept a close eye on Bella, making sure of her safety with Victoria after her. It wouldn't take much to convince her to look for any wolf involvement.

"We'll see about that. He's still my friend." Her friend he might be, but I was her boyfriend, one day destined to be her mate. And he was avoiding her. Keeping her from him for the next few months wouldn't be a problem, and then she would be mine for eternity and the issue would no longer exist.

I didn't argue with her anymore and when she left my arms to tackle the rest of the applications, she avoided the subject, too. But I knew my Bella and knew that it would only be a matter of time before she brought up the subject again.


	4. Evasions

**Evasions**

After Bella fell asleep that night, I ran home and confronted Alice.

“I need to know what Bella is planning,” I told her, my anxiety over her relationship with Jacob making me rude. She’d been dreaming of _him_ again.

Alice turned away from her computer to stare at me, surprised at my tone.

“Bella is planning on going to the reservation. Charlie wants her to see the dog and Bella simply refuses to acknowledge that he’s dangerous.”

Alice grimaced. She didn’t like the wolves any more than I did. She closed her eyes and I watched flickering visions of Bella, but I only saw her normal activities. School, home with me, work… Alice focused on one of her and Mike Newton. He’d been having car troubles and needed a ride. Jacob wasn’t the only boy in town I disliked. Mike and his fantasies of Bella were nearly enough to earn the horrid boy a slow death. The thought of the two of them alone in Bella’s car together made me grind my teeth, growling. Of course, I trusted Bella. She loved me and wasn’t interested in Mike that way. I still didn’t want him around her. It was bad enough that they worked together.

But there was nothing to indicate a visit with Jacob.

“I don’t see her going to visit him, Edward.”

“I know she’s going to,” I insisted.

“Well, either she can’t make up her mind how, or you manage to stop her. Either way, there’s nothing to see, yet. But I’ll keep an eye on her. I always do, anyway.”

“Thanks,” I grinned at my favorite sister and ruffled her short, spiky hair.

“Hey!” she batted my hands away while I laughed.

“Charlie ungrounded Bella today,” I changed the subject.

“Edward,” Alice rolled her eyes at me. “I _know_. I was there, remember?”

“Yes, but you left before the conversation ended. He said you two could go shopping in Portland and Emmett wants to plan a hunting trip. Maybe we could coordinate and you could take her out of town while Emmett, Jazz, and I go hunt?” I suggested, anticipating another lion or three.

“Yay!” she squealed, clapping her hands, and immediately began planning the best route through all of shopping opportunities in the city.

“There are other things than just shopping to do there, you know,” I cautioned her, knowing that Bella and Alice didn’t exactly see eye to eye on the subject of fashion. Bella was perfectly happy in t-shirts and jeans – the rattier the better – where Alice rarely wore the same outfit twice. She always donated her clothes to various charities, sometimes leaving a few folded hundreds in a hidden pocket. We really had more money than we needed and this was Alice’s way of sharing our good fortune. That it gave her an excuse to shop was just an added benefit.

She pursed her lips and wrinkled her nose at me. “Of course I do, but since that’s what Charlie thinks we’ll be doing, she’d better come home with several bags full of clothes. Besides, Bella’s wardrobe is in serious need of my help!”

“Well, just make sure she has fun. You should take her to some bookstores, too. You don’t need to shop for just clothes,” I suggested.

“Don’t _worry_. She’ll have a blast.” Alice grinned and turned back to her computer to open some new windows so that she could look up everything Portland. I shook my head doubtfully. A day of shopping with Alice sounded like anything _but_ fun to me, but I knew Bella would enjoy spending time with her if nothing else.

The following day at school, Bella’s joy at her freedom was evident on her face and her body language. I pushed all thoughts of our argument from my mind and basked in her good mood. The entire school seemed to share her excitement. The end of the year was just a few weeks away and all thoughts revolved around graduation and the prom. Bella had made me swear not to take her to the prom this year. I reluctantly agreed, wishing I could have had the excuse to see her dress up in something pretty and frilly and spend the evening in my arms. I’d made her go last year and she was unwilling to be put through the experience a second time.

Like the rest of the school, I looked forward to an end of high school. I wondered how long I’d be able to put off having to go back.

When we got to the lunch room, we joined Bella’s human friends at their normal table. Angela, one of the only friends of Bella’s that I actually liked, was a frazzled mess. Her normally kind thoughts were full of anxiety and irritation. Her boyfriend, Ben, was oblivious to her distress, lost inside of a comic book.

“Have you sent your announcements, yet?” Angela asked Bella when we sat down.

“No. There’s no point, really. Renée knows when I’m graduating. Who else is there?”

“How about you, Alice?”

“All done,” Alice said with a smile. She was eyeing Bella’s outfit and refining her shopping plans. I decided I’d better make my hunting trip a long one if I wanted to escape Bella’s wrath at what Alice had planned.

“Lucky you,” Angela lamented. “My mother has a thousand cousins and she expects me to hand-address one to everybody. I’m going to get carpal tunnel. I can’t put it off any longer and I’m just dreading it.”

“I’ll help you,” Bella offered to my surprise. “If you don’t mine my awful handwriting.”

I couldn’t hide my grin. Bella spending time with a girl friend, addressing graduation announcements was so normal, so human.

“That’s so nice of you,” Angela exclaimed with relief. “I’ll come over any time you want.”

“Actually, I’d rather go to your house if that’s okay – I’m sick of mine. Charlie un-grounded me last night,” she announced, grinning broadly.

“Really? I thought you said you were in for life.” None of them knew that Bella had gone to Italy, but they all knew she’d run off for three days. How my return figured in, none of them were sure; we had all been vague with the details of Bella’s disappearance, but they were sure there was more to the story than any of us were letting on.

“I’m more surprised than you are. I was sure I would at least have finished high school before he set me free.”

“Well, this is great, Bella! We’ll have to go out to celebrate,” Alice trilled.

“You have no idea how good that sounds.”

About to launch into plans for an extended shopping expedition someplace more exotic than Portland – Paris, perhaps – Alice pretended to think hard, “What should we do?”

“Whatever you’re thinking, Alice, I doubt I’m _that_ free.”

“Free is free, right?”

“I’m sure I still have boundaries – like the continental U.S., for example.” I hid a laugh. Bella always could see right through people. Angela and Ben laughed, but Alice grumbled, disappointed.

Determined to distract Bella from the reservation for me, and wanting to _finally_ spend some time with her, Alice pressed her, “So what are we doing tonight?”

“Nothing. Look, let’s give it a couple of days to make sure he wasn’t joking. It’s a school night anyway.”

“We’ll celebrate this weekend, then.” Alice’s mind was full of thoughts of Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. Sunny city, or not, they could go out at night and Alice wanted to treat Bella to a special weekend.

“Sure,” Bella agreed easily. I didn’t join in on the conversation, having plans already of my own – I swallowed past the dryness in my throat; I really _shouldn’t_ be so thirsty already – and listened to Alice and Angela discuss various shopping destinations. I hated the thought of Bella hundreds of miles away from me, but I needed a real hunting trip and knew that she’d be safer away from Forks with Alice than she would be hanging around here where Jacob was so close.

Bella’s face took on an unhappy grimace and it didn’t take any mind reading to know that it was Jacob on her mind again. I felt myself growling.

Alice’s mind suddenly filled with a vision that drove all thoughts of the dog from my mind. I felt my stomach clench and an icy tingle of fear shoot down my spine. No longer envisioning a weekend of shopping, Alice’s mind was full of the forest and a vampire hunting. I saw a flash of red hair surrounding a fierce face. _Victoria._ We all knew it would only be a matter of time before she tried to kill Bella again. It looked like that time had arrived.

“Alice? Alice!” Angela was trying to get my sister’s attention, even going so far as to wave her hand in front of my sister’s face, but she was still locked in her vision. Bella looked sharply at Alice and saw the blank expression on her face, the faraway look in her eye, and I knew she understood immediately that Alice was seeing one of her visions.

I watched Victoria creep up on Charlie’s house, saw her leaping up to the second story window that led to my personal Heaven. Then the vision shifted and I saw her fighting Jasper and Emmett, my body in flames behind her on the ground. The vision shifted once more, and Victoria was no longer near Charlie’s house. She was running again, being chased by my family through the forest. Abruptly, the vision disappeared and I supposed the wolves must have involved themselves. Alice was unable to see the future when they were present. I saw brief flickers of Victoria, running with my family close behind, then the vision went blank. The wolves, again. _Damn those dogs!_

Alice continued to search, looking at Bella, now, not Victoria, and I saw myself watching her through a window. Bella’s hair was glowing in the sunlight as she walked on the beach. The sun glistened off of her translucent skin and kissed her hair, bringing out the hidden red. I liked this image. A _lot_. I couldn’t help but to laugh at the pleasure and relief this image brought me. How often had I pictured Bella on the beach during my long months away?

Alice’s visions continued and she saw my family, safe at home. I was unable to tell if they had caught Victoria, but at least I knew that none of us would be harmed. Though I wanted to continue to watch her visions, she was attracting far too much attention. I nudged her under the table, hard and fast. Angela and Ben, who were watching me now, didn’t see me move, but Alice jumped and came back to the present.

“Is it naptime already, Alice?” I pretended to tease. Bella ignored me and continued to watch Alice, looking for an indication of what her vision had shown her.

“Sorry, I was daydreaming, I guess,” she lied.

“Daydreaming’s better than facing two more hours of school,” Ben said, accepting the explanation easily. Humans were so easy to manipulate.

Feigning normality, Alice continued to pretend to plan a shopping trip, as anxious as I was not to draw attention to herself. While she distracted the humans, I couldn’t stop myself from reaching for Bella’s hair. I loved the sight of it in the sun in Alice’s vision and wished I dared to bring a lock to my face so I could smell it.

 _You’re going to have to convince her to go out of town with you this weekend. Neither of you will be safe if you stay,_ Alice thought to me, looking into my eyes briefly. _Don’t let her know why, though. You’ll never convince her to leave if she believes Jacob will be in danger from Victoria._

 _Damn the dog, again!_ I wished I could send him to the fiery pits of Hell where he belonged.

I knew Bella would pester me for the details of Alice’s vision at the first opportunity. I needed to come up with an explanation before I let that happen, so I contrived to keep us in the company of other humans, not giving her the chance to corner me. I saw that horrid Mike Newton walking toward his barely functioning vehicle and caught up with him.

“Say, Mike, I heard you telling Ben you were having some trouble with your car. What seems to be the problem?”

I realized that if I helped him fix his car, then he wouldn’t need to ride with Bella. I saw her watching me as I pulled her along with me, an expression of confusion on her face. I knew she was suspicious of my motives in talking to Mike, but if it kept him away from her, I could be nice – or pretend to be.

He described the problems he was having, how it would stutter when he applied the gas, how it would falter when he used the heater or rolled the window down. “It seems like it’s not getting enough power, but I just replaced the battery.” He was eying me warily, his expression as distrustful as Bella’s though for a different reason. He knew I didn’t like him.

_… stupid rich Volvo owner… probably never looked under a hood in his life… just buy a new car anytime it runs out of gas…_

I hid my smirk and suggested, “Perhaps it’s the cables?” If the battery had the power, maybe the cables were simply loose or cracked.

“Maybe. I really don’t know anything about cars. I need to have someone look at it, but I can’t afford to take it to Dowling’s,” he grumbled, hating having to admit to his limited finances to me.

“I know a few things – I could take a look if you like. Just let me drop Alice and Bella at home.”

I heard the shock in his mind and his mouth dropped open, but if it got his car working without costing him anything, he was willing. “Er… thanks, but I have to get to work. Maybe some other time.”

“Absolutely,” I promised.

“See ya,” he said, shaking his head as he got into the car in question.

“What was _that_ about?” Bella asked quietly as we walked to my car.

“Just being helpful,” I lied.

Alice was already in my car and as soon as I got in, she started talking fast, as desperate for any topic of conversation other than the one on all of our minds as I was.

“You’re really not _that_ good a mechanic, Edward. Maybe you should have Rosalie take a look at it tonight, just so you look good if Mike decides to let you help, you know. Not that it wouldn’t be fun to watch his face if _Rosalie_ showed up to help. But since Rosalie is supposed to be across the country attending college, I guess that’s not the best idea. Too bad. Though I suppose, for Mike’s car, you’ll do. It’s only within the finer tunings of a good Italian sports car that you’re out of your depth. And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche. I don’t know that I want to wait for Christmas…” Her words were flowing a little too fast, anxious to distract Bella.

I watched Bella out of the corner of my eye and saw her lean back in the seat, oddly patient. She’d changed in the months I’d been away from her. Already strong, she’d developed a self-possession that unnerved me. After spending so many months suppressing her misery, she was far too good at hiding what her already mysterious mind was thinking.

When I dropped Alice off at the end of our long driveway, she met my eyes briefly, her thoughts flowing fast and fierce.

_We’re all going to need to go hunting with Victoria on her way. Jasper, Rosalie, and I will go out tonight, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme can go tomorrow. We’ll be back before school, so you can come home in the morning and pick me up then. You should hunt before you leave with Bella, too. Jazz or Em will keep watch over Bella’s house while you’re gone. She’ll be safe; Victoria’s not coming until this weekend and you’ll be gone by then, anyway._

“See you later, then,” I said easily, nodding imperceptibly in acknowledgement of her words.

I felt an overwhelming appreciation for my strange sister. Bella was her best friend and she loved her like a sister. Bella and I were only alive today because of Alice. I really _shouldn’t_ make her wait until Christmas for the car I’d promised her for saving our lives. Trying not to watch her, I waited for Bella to bombard me with questions, but she kept up her strange silence. I could feel the tension coming off of her body and heard how fast her heart was racing, smelled the light flow of adrenaline in her blood. Well, she’d bring up the subject when she was ready. Until then, I needed to think of a way to get her to go to a beach this weekend.

“Light homework load tonight,” I said as I pulled up to Charlie’s house.

“Mmm.”

“Do you suppose I’m allowed inside again?” I was very glad that Charlie had lifted her restriction. I didn’t think I’d be able to let her out of my sight and considered foregoing my own hunting, despite Alice’s suggestion and the ache in my throat.

“Charlie didn’t throw a fit when you picked me up for school.”

We headed upstairs to her room and I laid down on her bed, still amazed that she hadn’t said anything yet. I watched out the window, seeing an image of my own of Victoria peering inside. I clenched my teeth and tried to mimic Bella’s unnatural calm. She sat down at her computer and finally gave in to her nerves while she waited for it to come to life. I heard her tapping her fingers on her desk, a sharp clicking that brought me instantly to her side.

Covering her hand with mine, I tried to tease her. “Are we a little impatient today?” The words were a joke and I had to hold back my smile. She’d been very patient, strangely so. I couldn’t get the image of Victoria climbing up to her room out of my mind, nor the one of myself burning on the ground behind her. That image didn’t matter anymore. Alice’s vision had made it no longer applicable, but that didn’t change the fear that I felt.

Bella looked up at me, a scowl on her face, no doubt intending to refute my words with a cutting reply of her own, but when she met my eyes, her face changed. I was breathing fast, my need for her acute to the point of pain. Her angry expression softened and I reached for her. She pressed her warm lips to mine and I felt my joy at my undeserved luck to have such an angel in my arms. I pulled her to me, feeling her wrap her arms around my neck as I did so. I buried my hands in her silky hair, holding her firmly against me, feeling her mouth on mine, and smelling her breath.

I ran my hand down her back, wishing I could feel her skin. Her warmth radiated from her body and I could feel my own temperature increase in response. Her body shivered against mine, and I relaxed my hold on her, not wanting to chill her with my cold skin. She pressed herself further into me and I felt her mouth open against mine. The sensation of her soft tongue tracing my lips almost made me lose my grip on my self-control. If I didn’t stop her soon, I’d end up losing the battle with my will-power. I pulled away from her, laughing low, my voice husky.

“Ah, Bella,” I sighed with regret for the things that could never be.

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.” Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes bright. I could hear her heart racing and smelled the change in her blood from the new rush of adrenaline. This was not the same as the anxiety from earlier; this was lust, and I nearly lost my control again.

“And I should feel sorry that you’re not sorry, but I don’t. Maybe I should go sit on the bed.” So long as she didn’t join me there. I was sure my willpower was not up to the task of resisting her there.

She sighed heavily and I breathed in, tasting the unique scent of her on my tongue. “If you think that’s necessary…”

I smiled, wishing it wasn’t and regretfully unwound my arms from her fragile body. How I wished I was a mortal man! More than anything, I wanted to be able to be with her without worrying about killing her. Though I was no longer afraid I would drink her blood, I was so much stronger then she was, my body more like living rock than flesh, I could kill her by accident, just from hugging her too tight.

When I moved back to her bed, I positioned myself so that I could see Bella’s face lit up from the monitor, as well as the email she was responding to. Bella shook her head a few times and I chuckled, wondering if I affected her anywhere close to how she affected me.

“Tell Renée I said hello.” Neither of Bella’s parents liked me much. Not that I blamed them. Bella’s life had been in danger from the moment she had met me, landing her in the hospital several times.

“Sure thing,” Bella agreed.

Unable to help myself from reading the email to her mother that Bella was writing, I watched Bella smile to herself at her mother’s antics. Any insight into Bella’s mind was compelling to me. Renée and her husband, Phil, had moved to Florida shortly after Bella moved to Forks. She’d tried several times to convince Bella to move there with her, tempting her with talk of a house on the beach, of a room looking right out on the ocean.

Wanting to kick myself, I suddenly realized I had an easy solution to getting Bella to agree to a beach trip. One that neither she nor Charlie would be able to refuse. Smiling, I stood and walked over to Bella, waiting on her to finish her email. I tried to ignore the anger I couldn’t help feeling as she responded to Renée’s questions about Jacob. Looking away from the screen, I noticed an oddly shaped pile in her closet. Examining it closer, I recognized the object as the stereo my brothers had given Bella for her birthday last year.

It was at the birthday party where I had convinced myself to leave Bella. She’d given herself a paper cut, resulting in a single drop of blood escaping from her skin. That was all it had taken for Jasper’s reason to be overcome. Bella’s scent was overwhelming, powerful, seductive. Though her blood called to me especially strongly, every vampire we’d ever met agreed that she was unique and delicious-smelling. Jasper had lived on the blood of humans for many decades and our life-style was a struggle for him. When the scent of her blood had filled the room, he’d been unable to stop himself from attacking her.

That had been bad enough, but in trying to protect her from him, I had accidently shoved Bella across the room, throwing her into the table decorated with a crystal bowl filled with roses and where glass plates waited for her cake. When she hit the table, the plates and bowl fell to the floor and Bella had fallen into the shards of glass, slicing her arm and requiring Carlisle to stitch her back together. As if I needed any further demonstration of how dangerous my life was for her, it had taken all of my willpower not to do what Jasper and James had failed to do. Her blood called to me and I nearly drank her again. I had decided then, that the only way for Bella to be safe from me was for my family and I to leave, never to return.

Bella finished her email and pushed herself away from the desk, turning to look at me.

My voice was choked when I asked, “What did you _do_ to this?”

“It didn’t want to come out of the dashboard,” she explained in a hard voice.

“So you felt the need to torture it?” I asked, aghast. It looked like she’d taken a sledgehammer to the thing in trying to remove the stereo from her truck. It was warped and twisted, the wires frayed and broken.

“You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally,” she explained with an indifferent shrug.

“You killed it.” I shook my head in horror at what my brothers would think if they ever saw it.

“Oh well.”

“It would hurt their feelings if they saw this. I guess it’s a good thing that you’ve been on house arrest. I’ll have to get another one in place before they notice.”

“Thanks, but I don’t need a fancy stereo,” she declined.

“It’s not for your sake that I’m going to replace it,” I snapped.

She sighed.

I reminded myself that she didn’t like gifts, or when people tried to do things for her. Well, her boyfriend’s family was generous and enjoyed sharing their wealth, so she’d just have to get used to it. Speaking of which…

“You didn’t get much good out of your birthday presents last year,” I grumbled and retrieved the gift from Esme from where I’d seen it tucked in her desk drawer. I fanned myself with the tickets, holding back my smile. My mother had gotten her two round trip tickets to Jacksonville. I knew how happy it would make her to see her mother, and how happy Esme would be to know Bella was using her gift.

Bella was staring at me in shock. Due to the disastrous results of the ill-fated party, I usually went out of my way to avoid mentioning it.

“Do you realize these are about to expire?” I asked and handed them to her.

“No. I’d forgotten about them, actually,” she answered me angrily.

Not wanting her to be suspicious of my motives, I maintained a cheerful tone. “Well, we still have a little time. You’ve been liberated… and we have no plans this weekend, as you refuse to go to the prom with me. Why not celebrate your freedom this way?” I asked with a broad grin.

“By going to Florida?” she asked with a sharp gasp.

“You did say something about the continental U.S. being allowable,” I reminded her. She was suspicious, despite my efforts. I watched her narrow her eyes at me and could practically hear the wheels spinning in her head as she tried to figure out what was behind my suggestion.

“Well?” I insisted. “Are we going to see Renée or not?”

“Charlie will never allow it.”

“Charlie can’t keep you from visiting your mother. She still has primary custody.”

Insulted now, she fired back, “Nobody has custody of me. I’m an adult.”

Doing my best to dazzle her, I grinned. “Exactly.”

I watched her closely as she thought about my suggestion. I wasn’t sure why she was resisting. Was this just about using something that someone else had bought her? But on the night of her birthday she’d seemed so excited. I watched the emotions play across her face. First, was guilt, then her expression changed to one of yearning and my hopes soared. Then her face changed to one of resignation.

With a heavy sigh, she finally answered me, “Not this weekend.”

“Why not?” I demanded.

“I don’t want to fight with Charlie. Not so soon after he’s forgiven me.”

I frowned. This had seemed like the perfect solution to my problem. It would get her out of town, she wouldn’t worry about my family – or the dog – and I’d get to see Bella on the beach, where she was sure to wear warm-weather clothes. Her skin was so lovely, but always covered up under jeans and jackets that were necessary in our rainy, northern town.

“I think this weekend is perfect,” I grumbled.

“Another time,” she insisted with a shake of her head.

“You aren’t the only one who’s been trapped in this house, you know.” If I couldn’t convince her to go for her sake, maybe I could guilt her into it.

I might have overdone it though, and I saw her suspicions return.

“You can go anywhere you want.”

“The outside world holds no interest for me without you,” I told her honestly. She rolled her eyes. “I’m serious,” I insisted. I knew it for a fact. I had travelled while hunting for Victoria, but the only place on the planet I had really wanted to go was the tiny, rainy town where I had left my heart.

“Let’s take the outside world slowly, all right? For example, we could start with a movie in Port Angeles…”

The last thing I wanted to do with a monster stalking her was to go to the place where a monster had nearly killed her already. I groaned.

“Nevermind. We’ll talk about it later.”

“There’s nothing left to talk about,” she insisted. I matched her stubbornness with my own and shrugged, knowing that one way or another I’d get her to the beach this weekend.

One fight over with, she moved on to another.

“Okay, then, new subject. What did Alice see today at lunch?” She watched me closely, but I controlled my expression carefully.

“She’s been seeing Jasper in a strange place, somewhere in the southwest, she thinks, near his former… family. But he has no conscious intentions to go back.” I sighed. Lying came so easily to me and I felt rotten. “It’s got her worried.”

“Oh.” And she was so trustworthy, she believed every lie I told her. It was only the truths she had ever had a problem believing. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I didn’t realize you’d noticed. It’s probably nothing important, in any case.” Worse and worse lies. I knew she noticed everything. I’d once called her exceptionally unobservant, but the exact opposite was true. She shrugged and shook her head, and when she looked away from me, I grimaced, angry at myself for having to deceive her. Again.

I felt like I’d defiled my little piece of Heaven by lying to her and was glad when she suggested it was time for homework. We went back downstairs and took out our books. At least if Charlie came home he shouldn’t be too upset at my presence when he saw us industriously working on schoolwork. I finished mine quickly – I could have taught the class – and considered offering to speed up her homework process, but as long as she was engaged in her work, she wouldn’t be able to fight with me, and doing homework was part of being a human teenager. I used the time to watch her instead. While she concentrated, she chewed her lip absently, twirled her hair between her fingers, crossed and uncrossed her legs.

Eventually she decided she’d had enough of calculus and started cooking dinner for herself and Charlie. I helped her, cutting the meat and stirring the sauce. I tried to hide my disgust, but I was sure she saw the faces I was unable to suppress. It smelled repulsive, but when Charlie came home, he sniffed appreciatively, so I suppose it must have smelled good to them.

Charlie’s mind was full of thoughts of work. It had been a slow day and he’d spent it playing cards with his partner. When Victoria and Laurent had been stalking Bella, the area had experienced a string of deaths. The number of hikers in the area that had disappeared or been found dead was appalling. I found it mildly amusing that the humans had blamed the deaths on large wolves that had been seen in the forests – the werewolves who were trying to protect the humans were blamed for their deaths. Since our return, Victoria had stayed away, and so the forests were safe again. Or would be until this weekend when she was to return.

Charlie pointedly ignored my presence, reminding himself that Bella was no longer grounded so he couldn’t kick me out. While they ate dinner, I went to the livingroom to watch the news. More deaths. Two teens had disappeared the previous night. There was a house fire that the humans didn’t connect to the recent activity since they found no evidence of burned bodies, but I knew it related somehow. I shook my head. Whoever had created the new vampire must have done so by accident, leaving them to run wild and unsupervised. I was surprised they hadn’t exposed themselves yet. If they knew enough to stay out of sight, why weren’t they doing a better job of hiding their killings?

Bella and Charlie spent a long time eating, sitting in companionable silence. Charlie’s thoughts were focused on eating. Bella’s thoughts were, of course, hidden from me, but I saw Charlie glancing up at her often, noting her slight smiles and occasional frowns. Her hidden thoughts were always a source of fascination to me. I wondered if she would still be silent when she became a vampire. I found myself picturing our life together, going to college, moving out of my family’s house and picking a place of our own. Being away from Rosalie would be a welcome break, but I’d miss Emmett. Then again, just because we moved _out_ didn’t mean we would have to move _away_.

I wished she would agree to marry me! I wondered if I should bring up the subject again this weekend. Maybe a romantic setting on the beach would soften her up. I’d have to remember to bring the ring. Smiling, I pictured my mother’s ring on Bella’s slender finger. Holding back a groan of frustration, I wished I knew why she wouldn’t say yes. I knew she loved me. She’d convinced Carlisle to make her a vampire. We were going to spend eternity together – I shivered at the thought of being able to really kiss her, to hug her tight without worrying about breaking her spine, to join my body with hers - I cleared my throat, bringing my thoughts back to the present, and slowing my suddenly rapid breaths.

“That was great, Bells,” Charlie complimented her.

“I’m glad you liked it. How was work?”

“Sort of slow. Well, dead slow, really. Mark and I played cards for a good part of the afternoon. I won, nineteen hands to seven. And then I was on the phone with Billy for a while.” As a sheriff in a small town, most of his job involved traffic accidents – the mountain roads were hazardous with large logging trucks and impatient cars – and domestic disputes, when not having to deal with vampires killing the hikers.

“How is he?” Bella asked him.

“Good, good. His joints are bothering him a little.”

“Oh. That’s too bad.” Her voice was wary and I wondered if she was suspecting his reasons in bringing up Billy. I ground my teeth at the thought of having to listen to him suggest her visiting Jacob again.

“Yeah. He invited us down to visit this weekend. He was thinking of having the Clearwaters and the Uleys over, too. Sort of a playoff party…”

 _Wonderful,_ I thought. _As if one werewolf wasn’t bad enough, he wants to bring her to a house full of them, including the leader of the pack._ Sam Uley had been the first of the tribe to transform and was their leader, essentially replacing Billy as the tribe’s chief.

“Huh,” she said, her voice not betraying any interest in joining them. I hoped he could hear it and wouldn’t try to convince her to go with him. I couldn’t keep him away, but he usually only visited Billy, who was fully human. There was no way I was going to let Bella go, though, vengeful vampire on the way or not. If I was going to get Bella out of town, I was going to have to take matters into my own hands. Since she didn’t think he’d approve, it was up to me to ask him to let her visit her mother.

I heard Bella leave the table and joined them in the kitchen, helping her wash the dishes. Charlie debated trying to talk to her about Jacob with me there, but thankfully, my presence stopped him, as I had hoped.

“Charlie,” I stopped him as he stood to leave.

“Yeah?” He eyed me with a frown.

“Did Bella ever tell you that my parents gave her airplane tickets on her last birthday, so that she could visit Renée?”

Bella stared at me in shock, dropping the plate she had been scrubbing. Charlie was watching me closely, so I couldn’t grab it before it hit the floor, but it didn’t break. It did shower us with suds, but none of us paid them any attention.

“Bella?” Charlie asked, shocked that she hadn’t mentioned it, suspicious of why _I_ did.

She didn’t meet his eyes, looking at the plate on the floor as she picked it back up. “Yeah, they did.” Her voice didn’t betray any emotion.

“No, she never mentioned it.” I watched his mind as he watched me, my back to him while I dried the dish Bella handed to me. I kept my face unconcerned, acting as though it wasn’t really important.

“Hmm,” I said, my voice casual.

“Was there a reason you brought it up?” he demanded, not liking to have conversations with me in the first place.

I shrugged. “They’re about to expire. I think it might hurt Esme’s feelings if Bella doesn’t use her gift. Not that she’d say anything.” I was glad to be able to speak the truth for once. Bella was staring at me, a look of shock on her face, but I ignored her, concentrating on Charlie’s inner debate.

After Bella’s depression the past year, and her three day long disappearance, he hated the thought of her being where he couldn’t keep an eye on her. He did like the idea of her being on the other side of the country from _me_ , though.

“It’s probably a good idea for you to visit your mom, Bella. She’d love that. I’m surprised you didn’t say anything about this, though.”

“I forgot.”

“You forgot that someone gave you plane tickets?” he asked in disbelief. He wondered if I was lying and I suppressed a sigh. Charlie and his daughter were so much alike, easily believing my lies, but never my truths.

“Mmm,” she responded, evidently unable to think of a better answer.

“I noticed that you said _they’re_ about to expire, Edward. How many tickets did your parents give her?” _…know his family has money, but really, this is ridiculous…_

“Just one for her… and one for me.”

Bella dropped another plate, this time in the sink instead of on the floor. I saw her blush bright red and forced myself not to be distracted. She averted her face from me, which helped, but I saw her angry expression. I doubted I’d be able to escape from her angry words later, but if it got her to safety, I would accept them gladly.

Charlie’s breath rushed out of him as though I’d punched him in his stomach. “That’s out of the question!” he shouted at me. As if he’d let his teenage daughter go on vacation with her teenage boyfriend, even if he didn’t hate me.

Feigning innocence, I asked, “Why? You just said it was a good idea for her to see her mother.”

Turning away from me, he yelled at Bella now, gesturing angrily, “You’re not going anywhere with him, young lady!”

Bella spun around now, anger on her face, still, but this time directed at her father. “I’m not a child, Dad. And I’m not grounded anymore, remember?” I had to press my lips together hard to avoid smiling.

“Oh yes, you are. Starting now.”

“For what?!”

“Because I said so.”

“Do I need to remind you that I’m a legal adult, Charlie?” I wanted to laugh. Sometimes reverse psychology worked. Where she’d been resisting going before, now she was arguing for the trip. I wondered if she’d still be arguing against going if Charlie had been all for the idea.

“This is my house – you follow my rules!”

She narrowed her eyes to a hard glare. “If that’s how you want it. Do you want me to move out tonight? Or can I have a few days to pack?” I kept my body turned to the counter, continuing to dry the already dry plate I was holding.

I felt the hurt and fear in him at her threat. Bella breathed deeply. I was going to be in trouble later, I was sure. She hated hurting her father.

“I’ll do my time without complaining when I’ve done something wrong, Dad, but I’m not going to put up with your prejudices.”

Charlie was unable to speak, which I felt was a good thing as the words flowing through his mind were not ones I felt appropriate for Bella to hear.

“Now I know that _you_ know that I have every right to see Mom for the weekend. You can’t honestly tell me you’d object to the plan if I was going with Alice or Angela.”

“Girls.”

“Would it bother you if I took Jacob?” I felt an instant stab of fury and tried to control my anger.

It took him a moment as he struggled with how to phrase his answer, but I heard the lie in his voice as well as in his mind when he answered, “Yes. That would bother me.”

“You’re a rotten liar, Dad.” Another thing the two of them had in common.

“Bella – ”

“It’s not like I’m headed off to Vegas to be a showgirl or anything. I’m going to see _Mom_. She’s just as much my parental authority as you are.”

Charlie didn’t say anything out loud, but he was thinking of how flighty Renée was. He knew the antics she still got into, and was glad Bella was living with him now, for more than one reason.

“Are you implying something about Mom’s ability to look after me?” Bella saw right through Charlie’s hesitation.

He didn’t answer again, not wanting to lie to his daughter.

“You’d better hope I don’t mention this to her,” Bella threatened.

“You’d better not. I’m not happy about this, Bella.” No. He wasn’t.

 _As if he didn’t hate me enough already,_ I thought, grimacing.

“There’s no reason for you to be upset,” Bella countered calmly.

Charlie rolled his eyes, but was unable to come up with another argument.

The dishes done, Bella pulled the plug from the drain. “So my homework is done, your dinner is done, the dishes are done, and I’m not grounded. I’m going out. I’ll be back before ten-thirty.”

Oh yes, I was in trouble, for sure.

“Where are you going?” He was surly again, but knew that she was right. He had no reason to keep her home.

“I’m not sure. I’ll keep it within a ten-mile radius, though. Okay?”

Charlie turned away, grumbling about me and the bad influence I was having on his daughter. Trying not to show her my apprehension over the storm I knew was coming, I asked her, “We’re going out?”

It wasn’t hard to fake enthusiasm at leaving the small house we’d been stuck in. Even if she was angry with me, at least we’d be somewhere other than here. She was usually quick to forgive me. I was sure I’d be able to calm her down, and then, maybe even get to spend some alone time with her. Thinking about this, it was hard to hold back my smile, even under her glare.

“Yes. I think I’d like to speak to you _alone._ ”

She fumed silently until we were in my car before demanding, “What was _that_?”

“I know you want to see your mother, Bella – you’ve been talking about her in your sleep. Worrying actually.”

“I have?”

I nodded, hating having to lie to her again. It was _Jacob_ she kept worrying about. “But, clearly, you were too much of a coward to deal with Charlie, so I interceded on your behalf.”

“Interceded? You threw me to the sharks!” she accused in a hard voice.

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think you were in any danger,” I teased.

“I told you I didn’t want to fight with Charlie.”

“Nobody said that you had to.” She could have gone along with his decision, which would have made getting her to the beach much more difficult. I’d have gotten her away from town one way or another, though, even if I’d had to kidnap her to do it.

“I can’t help myself when he gets all bossy like that – my natural teenage instincts overpower me.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at this. “Well, that’s not my fault.”

She was glaring at me, but I had won my battle and knew her anger was passing. I tried not to grin, thinking of her on the beach again. By the time we’d get back, Victoria would be gone, and my family and my love would be safe.

“Does this sudden urge to see Florida have anything to do with the party at Billy’s place?” she accused.

My jaw clenched, knowing that if I’d had to fly her across the country to keep her away from the wolves I would do it. But at least this time I didn’t have to lie to her when I answered, “Nothing at all. It wouldn’t matter if you were here or on the other side of the world, you still wouldn’t be going.” I heard her grinding her teeth and sighed. It wasn’t fair of me to treat her like a child, but she didn’t seem to understand how important her safety was to me. Making my voice gentle, I asked, “So what do you want to do tonight?”

“Can we go to your house? I haven’t seen Esme in so long,” she shocked me by asking.

Grinning now, I agreed. “She’ll like that.” Unable to resist, I threw in, “Especially when she hears what we’re doing this weekend.”

She groaned and I knew I’d won.

 


	5. Checkmate

**Checkmate**

Carlisle was working the night shift and had already left for work when we arrived. Esme came downstairs when we entered and greeted Bella enthusiastically, asking her for details about school. After her part in what had almost been our deaths, Rosalie had been much nicer to Bella. I was glad when I saw her on the couch, since I needed to speak with her. She was flipping through the channels on the new flat screen, looking for something involving cars to watch.

While Esme had Bella's attention, I turned to my sister. In a low voice that Bella wouldn't be able to hear, I asked her, "Can you do me a favor?"

_That depends on what it is._

"You know Mike Newton?" She grimaced, and I saw his face in her mind. "The boy is having car trouble. I offered to help him fix it, but I'd really appreciate your expertise, and you  _are_  the best mechanic in the family." I thought if I flattered her, she might be more willing. She threw me a dark look, seeing through my motives. "Please, Rose? I don't want that awful boy riding around with Bella." I couldn't keep the growl out of my voice.

She sighed.  _Fine. But you owe me._

I chuckled, knowing she liked any excuse to work on a car, even one as boring as the boy's. Our cars were already running at their peak performance thanks to her tinkering, and she hadn't had a new project to play with in a while. I had no doubt she'd be able to find the problem, might even just fix it herself.

"Guess what, Esme!" I said, with a cocky grin. Bella rolled her eyes and huffed, but I saw her trying to hide her smile.

"What, Edward?" Esme asked. I heard her excited thoughts, and wished I could tell her the news she thought I was about to announce.

"Bella and I are going to visit her mother this weekend." I kept the smile on my face, not wanting Bella to see anything.

"Oh, that's wonderful," she said with a broad smile at Bella, hiding her disappointment. I sighed, frustrated.

"Thank you so much for the tickets, Esme," Bella said with real feeling. "I've missed Renée, and can't wait to see her again."

She gave Bella a hug. "You're very welcome, Bella. I'm glad you're going to be able to use them. I hope you take a lot of pictures while you're there. I'd love to see where your mother is living."

"I will," Bella promised.

"Bella!" Alice called happily as she and Jasper came in. She'd been watching him and Emmett wrestling, but it had been too long since she'd been able to spend time with Bella. She hugged her and pecked her on the cheek, grinning. Emmett had taken off to patrol the town, an activity that he and Jasper kept up regularly. They took the threat of both werewolves and vengeful vampires seriously.

I saw Alice's flowing visions of the future as she confirmed what I'd seen that afternoon. Bella on the beach, my family safe. Victoria, running, hunting. I recognized the forest. We'd patrolled the border of the reservation often, and Victoria was skirting the edge, leaping back and forth over the small river that separated our lands. Then, abruptly, the vision vanished. I nodded, acknowledging what she was showing me.

I saw Bella watching us and, trying to cover up our exchange, challenged Alice to a game of chess. She was the only member of my family who would play with me, the others claiming my mind reading gave me an unfair advantage. Since Alice could see the future, we figured that made us evenly matched. I saw her moves in her mind, and altered my strategy. Her plans changed as mine did, and we both watched the future of the game. After moving only two pawns each, Alice knocked her king over in defeat.

Trying to make up for attacking her last September, Jasper challenged Bella next. He'd beaten Emmett the day before – a game that had taken two weeks – and Emmett wasn't ready for a rematch. Sitting with my family in the living room, my sisters on either side of me, my mother upstairs, and my brother playing a game with my girlfriend, I felt almost normal, human. This was the first time since the party that we had all had the chance to be together, except for the first night of our return when Bella had convinced Carlisle to change her.

Bella was smart, but no match for Jasper. Their game lasted longer than mine and Alice's, but it was still over quickly. I hoped she didn't feel too bad. Jasper was a trained military Major and had learned even more strategy while living with Maria – the vampire who created him. Carlisle and Emmett only rarely beat Jasper at chess, though that didn't stop them from trying. Emmett's last game with him had been close. My big bear of a brother might not have had Jasper's military training, but he still had the mind of a vampire, and I'd caught him memorizing every one of Jasper's moves. I thought that perhaps, in another decade, he might be the one teaching Jasper a few tricks.

Jasper was enjoying our family's happiness as much as I was. Able to feel the emotions of others, his own pleasure in the quiet evening was enhanced by experiencing ours, too. After the game, Alice and Jasper excused themselves, and Rosalie left to examine Mike's car. Though, judging by the direction of her thoughts, I thought she'd probably seek out Emmett's company, first.

Alone at last, I pulled Bella into my embrace and we relaxed on the couch, not really watching the television. I played with her hair and twined our fingers together. Glad her anger seemed to be gone, I leaned close to her, brushing my lips along her neck. She shivered and pressed herself further into me. For a moment I considered pressing her to agree to marry me again, but we'd already fought so much that day that I didn't think it was a good idea. Instead, I contented myself with kissing her jaw, her chin, the soft spot just under her ear.

Far too quickly, our time together was over.

"You'd better take me home, Edward," Bella said with a sigh. "Charlie's mad enough as it is."

"Mmm," I agreed, not ready to stop kissing her, yet.

She turned to look at me and I thought she was about to insist, but when she met my eyes, her breath caught. I'd been unable to stop thinking about Victoria and my fear of Bella's death. I wasn't sure what she saw in my face, but hers took on a look of concern.

Unable to stop myself, I pulled her to me and pressed my lips to hers. Her soft lips shaped themselves around my stone mouth. I heard her heart beat accelerate and breathed in, tasting her breaths. She was so warm and fragrant. I loved her unique flavor, and both longed for and dreaded our promised future together. To be able to really kiss her would be heavenly, and it would be a relief not to have to worry about accidently killing her anymore. For that to happen, though, I would have to end her life. I looked into her chocolate eyes, seeing her amazing soul staring back at me, and felt my mouth twist. What would I see in them when they burned crimson, instead?

"I should take you home," I whispered.

She laughed. "I just told you that," she reminded me.

I kissed her once more, quickly, and pulled myself away from her warm arms.

"Bye, Esme," Bella called softly, grinning when Esme appeared beside us.

"Don't be a stranger, Bella. We've missed you."

Bella laughed, blushing. "I was grounded, Esme."

"I know, but you're not  _now_ ," she pressed her.

"Don't worry, Esme. We'll be back soon," I assured her, grateful that my family loved my girlfriend so much.

 _Alice has narrowed down where she believes Victoria will be this weekend. It's a little close to the wolves for comfort, but we should be able to stop her. With any luck all of this will be over soon. With the six of us, she's got no chance to escape._  Esme's thoughts were full of fury at the vampire who dared to threaten her family.

I smiled at her and nodded before turning Bella toward my car.

When we got to Charlie's house, all of the lights were on. He was waiting up to talk to her, and when I caught the direction of his thoughts, it was all I could do not to laugh out loud. Bella had already been upset with me enough for one day. This wasn't going to help anything, but as protective as Charlie was of Bella, I knew the conversation was inevitable. I was glad to know the answers Bella would be able to give him were in my favor.

"You'd better not come inside," Bella said. "It will only make things worse."

Holding my amusement in with an effort, I assured her, "His thoughts are relatively calm."

She narrowed her eyes at me, knowing I was hiding something, and muttered, "I'll see you later."

Giving in to my laughter, I kissed the top of her head. "I'll be back when Charlie's snoring."

I watched her until she was safely inside. Unable to resist, I crept up to the porch to listen to their conversation.

Instead of the call of "Bells?" I was used to Charlie greeting her with, he said in a very serious voice, "Could you come in here, Bella?"

Her footsteps were slow as she joined him in the living room. "What's up, Dad?"

"Did you have a nice time tonight?" His mind was whirling, cringing away from the conversation he knew he had to have, trying to find a good way to lead into what he needed to say. I pressed my lips together to hold in my laughter.

"Yes." Bella's answer was a little slow in coming. She'd seen my amusement and I was sure she could tell Charlie was struggling with something.

"What did you do?" he stalled.

"Hung out with Alice and Jasper. Edward beat Alice at chess, and then I played Jasper. He buried me."

The television was suddenly silent, and Charlie steeled himself to speak. "Look, there's something I need to say." They were both silent, and I looked through his eyes. They were moving around, looking at the floor, the ceiling, anywhere other than at Bella.

"What is it, Dad?" she pressed when he didn't continue.

Charlie sighed and forced himself to say, "I'm not good at this kind of thing. I don't know how to start…" He was still not looking at Bella, so I couldn't see what her reaction was, but she said nothing, waiting for him to speak his mind.

"Okay, Bella. Here's the thing." He got up and began to pace, still avoiding meeting her eyes. The emotions flowing through his mind were a mix of anger, regret, and embarrassment. Finally, he ground out, "You and Edward seem pretty serious, and there are some things that you need to be careful about. I know you're an adult now, but you're still young, Bella, and there are a lot of important things you need to know when you… well, when you're physically involved with – "

"Oh, please,  _please_ , no!" I heard Bella beg. I heard her spring from the chair she'd been sitting in. Her voice was full of mortification and I rocked with silent laughter, wishing Charlie would  _look_  at her so I could see her face. I was sure her expression would be the funniest thing I would see all year. "Please tell me you are not trying to have a sex talk with me, Charlie."

"I am your father," he insisted, his eyes glued to the floor. "I have responsibilities. Remember, I'm just as embarrassed as you are."

"I don't think that's humanly possible. Anyway, Mom beat you to the punch about ten years ago. You're off the hook."

"Ten years ago you didn't have a boyfriend," he insisted.

"I don't think the essentials have changed that much." I could practically feel the heat from the blush I was sure was coloring her face.

"Just tell me that you two are being responsible," he pleaded with her.  _…last thing I need is for to_ him _make me a grandfather…_

Ah, how I wished that were even possible.

My amusement evaporated, and I sat down on the edge of the porch. I ached to be able to be intimate with Bella. From the start, the simple touch of her fingers on my skin had been a pleasure beyond anything I'd ever experienced before. Her gentle, willing touch was more than I deserved, yet she gave me so much more than just that. She slept in my arms, wrapped me in her warm embrace, and seemed to crave the taste of my mouth as much as I craved hers.

I knew that, although he felt that Bella was too young to become a mother yet, that didn't mean he didn't want grandkids  _someday._  That was impossible, though. At least, it was impossible as long as she was with me. Sighing, I leaned my elbows on my knees and tried not to think about everything that I was taking away from Bella.

A large part of Rosalie's dissatisfaction with her life was that we had no real future. There was nothing to look forward to except for more of the same. Humans had milestones, such as Bella's graduation, getting married, having children, building a career, growing old, and helping with grandchildren when that time came.

Bella would graduate high school, and if she would ever agree to marry me, we would have that milestone, too. But once she changed, that would be it. She would never be able to see her children gather around Charlie's Christmas tree, fight back tears on their first day of school, or enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner with Renée. There was little point in building a career for me or my siblings. We looked so young that we would have to move and start over long before we could do anything significant in our fields. Even if that were not the case,  _doing_  anything significant was forbidden. We could not afford to do anything that would attract notice. Carlisle had a good career as a doctor, but he could never do anything that would advance the practice of medicine.

In staying with Bella, I wasn't just stealing her life, or her soul; I was stealing her  _potential_.

"Don't worry about it, Dad, it's not like that," Bella assured him.

"Not that I don't trust you, Bella, but I know you don't want to tell me anything about this, and you know I don't really want to hear it. I will try to be open-minded, though. I know the times have changed."

Bella laughed nervously. "Maybe the times have, but Edward is very old-fashioned. You have nothing to worry about," she said firmly.

"Sure he is," Charlie grumbled with a sigh.

"Ugh!" Bella's voice was loud, her embarrassment obvious as she groaned, "I really wish you were not forcing me to say this out loud, Dad.  _Really._  But… I am a… virgin, and I have no immediate plans to change that status."

Charlie was shocked, and he looked at her at last. As I had expected, Bella's face was beet red and angry. Despite himself, he believed her. Suddenly he hated me just a little less, and I felt slightly better.

"Can I go to bed, now?  _Please?"_  Bella begged him.

"In a minute."

"Aw, please, Dad? I'm begging you."

"The embarrassing part's over, I promise." Growling, I stood up. He was planning on asking her about the dog again.

I had no desire to hear her discuss Jacob after hearing her talk to her father about not having sex with me. Seething about Charlie's insistence at including the dangerous mutt in Bella's life, I took off to my car and drove toward the forest to hunt. I found myself strangely on edge, frustrated.

Despite what she told Charlie, I knew that there  _was_  a change of status that she was planning. After graduation, she planned to end her human life. What Charlie was worried about was nothing when compared to that. I would do everything I could to delay her change, even as I looked forward to what it would mean to me. As wonderful as her kisses were, I couldn't imagine what it would be like when I could kiss her without any fears. When I could hold her body without being afraid that I would break her. However, what her future held for me was not worth what it would cost her.

I wished she would acknowledge what being a vampire meant! How could she see so much, and yet be blind to the fact that she was asking me to make her a killer? What I wouldn't give to have her finally understand while it was still possible to do anything about it. As though Alice were in the car with me, I could see Bella's future so clearly. There were two possibilities. One - the more likely - was of Bella, red eyed and dead, with blood on her lips. The other - the one Charlie hoped would happen years from now - was Bella with chocolate eyes, standing in the sunlight on the beach of La Push, watching her dark-haired children running toward the water.

Groaning, I wished it were possible to somehow combine the two futures. For it to be possible to give her a future, and yet to keep her forever. For me to make her my mate, without making her a monster, a killer. Well, as long as she was a human, I would fight to keep her human, just as I fought to keep her safe.

Victoria wouldn't be here for a few more days, and I knew that Emmett was circling the town. If Victoria got anywhere near Forks, he would know it long before she got close enough to threaten Bella. For the moment, Bella was safe in her father's house. I turned my headlights off and pushed my car faster, wanting to hunt quickly so I could return to her.

Before I could get very far, my phone rang. I saw it was Alice and answered quickly, with fear in my voice. "Alice? What's wrong?"

"Bella's future just disappeared. She must be planning on visiting the reservation. She's just  _gone._ I can't see anything!"

 _Damn!_  "When?" My voice was hard, but unsurprised. Whatever Charlie said must have had an effect on her.

"Now. She'll be leaving soon. You've got maybe five minutes to get back there."

Slamming on my breaks and cranking the wheel hard, I was furiously growling words I would never use in Bella's presence. "Thanks." I said tersely and hung up the phone. Pushing my car, my foot grinding the gas pedal to the floor, I sped back to town. In less than three minutes, I was parking down the block from her house, and sprinting to her truck.

Charlie's thoughts were full of satisfaction that Bella was spending time with her friends and relief that he didn't have to worry about me making him a grandfather yet. I could hear Bella's footsteps and saw her pacing her bedroom. Opening the hood of her truck, I disconnected the ignition coil, making the vehicle inoperable. I would reattach it in the morning, no harm done. I hid myself in the trees outside of their house where I could watch her through the window. Bella continued to pace for a minute more before turning to stare out of the window. I knew she couldn't see me, but it was almost like she was looking right at me. I watched her worry her lower lip. Seeming to come to a sudden decision, she spun away from the window and I heard her running lightly down the stairs.

"You care if I go see Jake tonight?" she asked Charlie, a little out of breath.

I ground my teeth again, hearing the pleasure in Charlie's thoughts at the mention of the mutt's name.

"Sure, kid." I could hear the smile in his voice. "No problem. Stay as long as you like." I seethed at the injustice of that statement. Bella only had a curfew when she was out with  _me._

"Thanks, Dad."

I would have to do something truly special for Alice for warning me in time. Feeling a surge of relief that I had asked her to keep a close eye on Bella, I wondered how I was ever going to manage to hunt with Bella so determined to see him.

She looked over her shoulder as she left the house, hurrying to her car as though she expected to be stopped at any point. I smiled grimly and shook my head. She knew she was being reckless, and that I would not approve of her plans.

I heard her attempt to start the old truck, but it only clicked when she turned the key. Leaping from the tree, I sped over to her truck and heard her try again. Moving faster than her eyes could follow, I opened the door, and slid into the cab.

"Gah!" she cried and jumped when she saw me appear beside her.

I was turning the coil around and around in my hands, trying to contain my fury at her.

"Alice called," I said in a low voice. "She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago." Her eyes widened in surprise.

I explained, "Because she can't see the wolves, you know. Had you forgotten that? When you decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldn't know that part, I realize that. But can you understand why that might make me a little…" was there any word potent enough to describe the terror I felt at losing her? "…anxious? Alice saw you disappear, and she couldn't even tell if you'd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like theirs.

"We're not sure why this is. Some natural defense they're born with? That doesn't seem entirely likely, since I haven't had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Blacks' at least. Carlisle theorizes that it's because their lives are so ruled by their transformations. It's more an involuntary reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about them. In that instant when they shift from one form to the other, they don't really even exist. The future can't hold them…"

She glared at me in silence.

"I'll put your car back together in time for school, in case you'd like to drive yourself," I told her when she continued to glare at me without speaking. I knew she was furious, but so was I.  _Why_  couldn't she acknowledge how dangerous they were?

She pressed her lips together in a hard line, more angry than I could ever remember seeing her. She jerked her keys from the ignition, and got out of the truck, her movements stiff.

"Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand," I said in a low whisper. She slammed the door and stalked back into her house. I sat in the truck, breathing slowly, trying to calm myself. Why did we always have to fight? How many had we had, just today? I shook my head, feeling horrible for many reasons. I had lied to her, conspired to keep her from her friends, dismantled her truck, and gotten my sister to spy on her. I knew that it was not just my nature that made me a monster; it was my actions. That it was all done for her safety was irrelevant.

I remembered the pain I had felt the day I had thought her dead. Though I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone – especially not her – I wished she could understand. If she knew how I had felt then, maybe she would see why I would go to such lengths to avoid feeling that way ever again. That I had agreed to change her at all should show her just how deeply losing her had affected me!

"What's wrong?" Charlie said in surprise.

"Truck won't start." Her voice was a growl harsh enough for any vampire.

"Want me to look at it?" he offered.

"No. I'll try it in the morning."

"Want to use my car?" he offered after only a moment's hesitation. No one was supposed to drive his police cruiser except for him, but he wanted her to see Jake. He knew how close they had been and was under the impression that if he could just get them to see each other again, she might remember her feelings for him and leave me. I felt a high moan of pain escape my throat and had to work not to crush the part that I held. I wanted to  _end_  the dog so badly!

"No. I'm tired. Night." I heard her stepping forcefully up the stairs. Stomping over to her window, she slammed the window shut hard. I pressed my lips together in a hard line, swallowing around the lump in my throat. I wasn't surprised, but I ached at the thought of spending the night apart from her. She'd slept in my arms every night since I'd returned and I didn't want our first night apart to be one spent in anger.

After a few of the longest minutes I'd experienced lately, I heard the sound of her window opening again. Sprinting up to her window, I pulled her into my arms, trying not to let her feel me trembling. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I tucked her head under mine, cradling her against my chest, relieved that she'd forgiven me so quickly. After a moment, she pulled away and laid a hand against my cheek, her eyes sad. She turned away from me and walked to her bathroom to get ready for bed.

Quickly, I dialed Alice.

"Hey," she answered with a sigh.

"Thank you." I said quietly.

"Of course, Edward. We'll be back in the morning. Bella's future is safe, again."

I hung up, grateful for my sister once again.

After Bella fell asleep, I climbed out of her bed and called Emmett.

"No sign of her, Edward," he said when he answered the phone.

"I didn't think you'd find anything. Alice doesn't see her attacking until this weekend."

"Can't be too careful. Just because she doesn't attack until Saturday, doesn't mean she can't be here before then."

"I know that. And… to that end…"

"What is it, Bro?"

After Alice's visions of Victoria – I could still clearly see her climbing up to the window – and of Bella's future disappearing, I couldn't bear to leave her unprotected.

"I need to hunt before we go to Florida. Will you come over to Bella's and keep an eye on things here for me?"

"You're a crazy person, you know that? Alice would see if anything was going to happen tonight. She says Bella will be fine."

"Em…" I groaned. "I can't get Victoria out of my head. What if she changes her mind? She's dangerous and I am  _not_  about to leave Bella without some protection. Alice and Jasper are hunting. Come on, Emmett, please?"

_Relax, wacko, I'm already here._

I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I pressed my lips to Bella's forehead, memorizing her sleeping face once more before jumping from her window.

He clapped a hand to my shoulder.  _Alice saw that you would need to hunt before you left for Florida. We all love her, man. Even Rose, though she'll never admit it. Bella's… well… she's pretty special._

"She is," I agreed in a low voice.

"Go on, kid. I've got this." He jumped up to the trees to settle in for a few hours of playing Designated Watch Vampire.

When James had begun his hunt for Bella last year, Bella had impressed Emmett with her quick thinking and bravery. Since then, she'd won her way into all of my family's hearts, especially when she had saved my life. I knew they would never allow her to be in danger any more than I would.

Before I left, I quickly reattached the part I'd removed from Bella's truck. I sped into the night, resigning myself to the flavor of deer yet again. My venom flowed at the thought of the lions I'd planned on, and I felt a surge of disappointment that was quickly replaced by anger at Victoria. I wished furiously that I'd never taken Bella to see my family play baseball that day. The repercussions of that single decision had been far-reaching. Not only did it lead to Bella's injuries when James had tortured her, but I had been forced to drink her blood that night in order to save her from James's venom.

Instead of simply imaging how Bella  _might_  taste, I knew  _exactly_. Though I no longer worried I would ever drink her blood again, I would forever carry the memory of her taste in my mind. I would also forever carry the memory of my face in the mirror afterwards. Though I hadn't drank enough of her blood to turn my eyes red, they had not been the healthy gold of the rest of my family for several weeks. I could detect an orange tint to them from Bella's blood fueling my body, and had avoided looking in a mirror for some time after that first horrified glance.

Taking Bella out to the middle of nowhere to watch the ball game had resulted in the current state of siege, as well. I had known the nomads were in town. I  _should_  have kept her safe at home, not taken her traipsing about the forest. But I had, and the trio had found us. Though two of them were now dead, Victoria was not, and was determined to end Bella's life. I ached to rip her into pieces for daring to hunt my angel. I hadn't had the pleasure of killing James myself; Jasper and Emmett had done the deed while I'd pulled the venom from Bella's veins. Although the murders of the vampires I'd killed while searching for Victoria still filled me with guilt, I knew it would be different in Victoria's case. I would gladly end any creature who threated Bella's life.

Laurent, too, had planned on killing Bella. He'd been intrigued by our lifestyle and had visited our cousins in Denali, but found living on animals unpleasant, and had left them. Victoria had convinced him to visit us, to make sure Bella was still protected by us. He'd found our house empty, but happened upon Bella alone in the woods. The odds of her happening to run into the very vampire who was looking for her while she wandered unprotected were astronomical. The wolves had been tracking him and found them together. They had killed him, saving Bella's life.

The girl just seemed to draw all things dangerous toward herself, like some kind of magnet, or a siren whose very existence called to every nearby threat. The Volturi had called her my singer, but her siren's song drew any and every danger from miles around. Victoria, Laurent, James, the wolves, the human monster in Port Angeles who had intended to rape and murder her, the van that should have crushed her, and, of course, me. It was a wonder that the heavens didn't rearrange themselves just to send an asteroid hurtling directly at her!

I parked my car and sped into the forest, letting my sense of smell lead the way. I caught the trail of a family of deer, and followed them until I caught up to the small herd. Quickly, I killed the first one, then tracked down the others who had scattered when I'd attacked. Almost uncomfortably full – though far from satisfied - I hurried back home to clean up. Viciously, I thought my next real hunting trip I'd go after a wolf pack instead. As long as Bella didn't know about it, it couldn't offend her, and I could work off some of my fury at the mutt.

Arriving back at Bella's house, I found Emmett patrolling the forest, taking his position as guardian seriously.

"Better?" he asked me.

"More deer," I groaned. "Ugh. Honestly, if I never drink another deer it's going to be too soon. If I'm not careful, I'm going to deplete the entire peninsula, I've been killing so many of them lately."

His thoughts were sympathetic. He, too, craved the predators we'd planned on before Alice's vision. _I hope you saved me some. I'm going out in the morning. Well, maybe I'll get lucky and run into a bear._

I laughed. "Good luck. And thanks, again."

He chuckled and held out his fist to me, which I bumped before springing up to Bella's window. She'd been tossing and the covers were wrapped around her legs, one hand was over her head, her hair spilling over her pillow and across her face. I could see it moving slightly with each breath and brushed it away from her face. Concerned that she might get chilly, I spread the blankets out better and covered her before climbing on her bed to lay beside her, letting out a sigh of relief as I did. I never felt truly at ease unless I was touching her.


	6. Florida

**Florida**

The next afternoon, Bella and I secured our seats on the plane. We'd leave shortly after school on Thursday, landing in Florida just after the sun set. I had our bags in my car, and brought along my school work, fabricating a big essay that would keep me inside during the day. Renée outwardly expressed remorse that I had to spend so much of my visit working, but was glad for the uninterrupted time she got to spend with her daughter.

Watching Bella with her mother was fun. Renée's excitement at having Bella there was partly that of a mother missing her daughter, of a girl missing her best girl friend, of one sister for another, and even of a daughter for her mother. Bella had taken care of Renée for most of her life, and they fell back into that role easily. I stayed out of the way while they caught up on recent events.

Bella's mother was interesting. Her mind was not silent like Bella's, but it wasn't clear like most humans' either. She was quiet, hidden, with only part of her thoughts coming through to me. But, like Bella, she saw right through to the heart of things. I had to be very careful around her. She watched me unobtrusively, and was shocked at what she saw. I wasn't sure how to fix this, though; I couldn't pretend an indifference I didn't feel.

I was used to watching Bella. It was second nature by now and I rarely took my eyes off of her. I wasn't human and my need for Bella wasn't the same as what a normal human boy had for his girlfriend. I saw how human boys acted with their girlfriends; heard in their minds how their thoughts centered around themselves and their interests, cars, sports, and even other girls. Bella was constantly at the center of my thoughts. There was no other girl who could interest me; most of their minds were petty and shallow. I could buy any car I wanted, and although I enjoyed playing ball with my family or watching a good game, no sport held half the fascination for me that Bella's mind did.

Phil was easier to deal with.  _His_  mind was constantly thinking of baseball and his team. We discussed the sport at length. The various teams, both major and minor league, the players, recent games, and those of years past kept us talking for hours. It made me happy that at least  _one_  of the adults in Bella's life liked me. Though I was quickly bored with the subject, it was easier to escape Renée's scrutiny when innocently entertaining her husband with baseball trivia.

Unlike with Charlie, where I could claim the need to eat dinner with my family, I couldn't exactly avoid eating with Renée and Phil. Alice had helped me prepare for the trip by providing me with several pairs of cargo pants. She lined the extra pockets with plastic so that I was able to get around being forced to eat human food. When their attention was on their own plates, I'd tuck a few bites into my pocket. They simply looked away, and when they looked back, my plate was nearly empty. It was a good thing I moved so fast. They never saw me, and Bella watched me wide-eyed as I pretended to eat. I laughed at her and winked when Renée wasn't looking.

They set up a place for me to sleep on the couch. I assured them I was perfectly fine sleeping there. I made myself appear comfortable with blankets and pillows and closed my eyes, waiting for Renée and Phil to fall asleep. I listened to the sounds of the three humans settling in for the night, the quiet murmurs of Renée and Phil talking about Bella's visit, discussing their impressions of me. When Renée and I had first met, she hadn't liked me, but Alice had assured me that one day she would. I worked hard to be as nice and non-scary as possible.

"Well, he certainly seems nice enough," Phil commented.

"I suppose. There's something… I don't know. Something  _off_  about him."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think I can explain it. He doesn't act like a teenager, somehow. He's very… intense." I grimaced. Renée was just too observant.

"I thought he was nice."

"You just like him because he knows so much about baseball," she teased and he laughed in agreement.

Bella was tossing in her bed. I could hear her blankets rustling, her frequent sighs, and sounds of frustration.

"It's so hot," she quietly groaned. Well, when Renée and Phil fell asleep, I could help her with that, but they were alert, listening for exactly that. Eventually I heard them fall asleep and slipped into Bella's room. She smiled widely when she saw me and I climbed into bed with her.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi," I grinned back.

She sighed and snuggled close to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and laying her head on my chest. Bella fell asleep quickly and I lay with my love wrapped in my arms, a smile on my face. Near morning, I heard Renée startle herself awake and caught her alarmed thoughts. She'd meant to check on Bella before falling asleep. Slipping quickly from Bella's embrace, I raced down the hall and back to the couch, positioning myself as though I slept just as Renée peeked around the corner. Her thoughts were a mix of relief, surprise, and guilt.

I chuckled to myself as she crept back to bed. As the sun began to rise, I got up and rummaged in the kitchen. By the time Bella, Renée, and Phil woke, I had a stack of pancakes waiting, and was just pulling a tray of bacon from the oven. I'd made a point of learning how to cook since meeting Bella. Aside from helping Bella cook for Charlie, the food network had endless tips and recipes.

"Morning," I greeted them with a grin.

"Wow, that smells really good," Renée complimented me. I was glad to hear her say so. It smelled terrible to me.

"Dig in," I told them. "I hope you don't mind. I woke hungry and ate while I was cooking."

… _see what Renée meant. What eighteen year old cooks like this? Seriously, when I was his age I was lucky to use the microwave…_  Phil's thoughts were speculative.

"Would anybody like eggs?" I offered. "I wasn't sure how you'd like yours cooked, but they don't take long."

"Sure," Renée said, eying me. "Scrambled is fine."

"Same here," Phil said.

"Can I help?" Bella offered.

"Just eat," I smiled at her.

"You really didn't have to go to all this trouble," Renée said.

"It wasn't any trouble. Esme and I cook together all the time," I lied with a shrug. "Carlisle's hours make breakfast one of the times we usually all get together, so it's become a habit." Really all I wanted was to avoid having to pretend to eat with them. Though Alice's plastic-lined pockets had saved me from actually having to eat, I still had to deal with the mess, and this was much simpler.

Bella watched me as I made the eggs and then began cleaning up. Renée and Phil were focused on eating, but they glanced at me regularly, too. Phil finished quickly and had to get ready for work, while Renée and Bella lingered, discussing their plans.

"I want to take you to see Jacksonville. You can't come all this way and not go sightseeing," Renée complained.

"Go ahead, Bella. I'll be fine here," I encouraged her.

"Are you sure you won't join us?" Renée pressed me.

"Ugh. They insisted on loading me with this last minute essay. It's ridiculous with graduation around the corner. As though I don't have enough studying to do, now I have a report to write," I complained. Complaining about homework was an acceptable way for a human teen to act. Besides, I couldn't exactly go out with them. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and I was going to be stuck inside the entire day.

"I hate to leave you here all alone," Bella grumbled with a frown when Renée left the room to get ready.

I kissed her forehead. "Your mother misses you." I looked into her deep chocolate eyes. "I'll be fine. This trip isn't about me; it's about you and her. Go ahead, have fun." I gave her a crooked smile and heard her heart stumble. Listening to Renée still in her room, I took advantage of her absence and pulled Bella close.

Bella pressed herself against me and wound her arms around my neck. I felt her heart beating against my chest and smelled her wonderful floral scent as I tasted her lips. Knowing I wouldn't see her for most of the day, I took full advantage of Renée's preoccupation with her plans to try to entice Bella to move here. I ran my hands down her back, pressed my lips to hers over and over, and inhaled the unique scent of her, tasting her on the back of my tongue. I could happily have spent the entire day kissing her, but all too soon I heard Renée leaving her room, and broke Bella's hold on me.

When they drove away, I had to remind myself that I could  _not_  follow them. There was no way I could remain hidden in such a bright city. I quickly wrote enough of the essay to make it look like I'd spent the day working and began pacing the house, listening hard for their return. I threw open the windows, letting the breeze blowing off of the ocean bring the fascinating scents of the beach to me, trying to distract myself.

I couldn't stop myself from thinking about all the trouble they could get into. What if something happened and I wasn't there to stop it? Emmett was right; I was a crazy person. I chuckled to myself, but kept pacing and worrying until they finally returned. I breathed a sigh of relief when the car it pulled up to the house. The sun was still shining and I had to stop myself from bolting out to meet them. I sat back at the table, picked up my pencil, and began writing.

…  _such a lovely campus …great science program …help with tuition…_

They'd visited the University of North Florida. Renée was trying desperately to convince Bella to go to college here. I saw flashes in her mind of the campus and thought she was right; the place was lovely. The architecture of the buildings was interesting, and I hoped Bella took a lot of pictures to show Esme. I knew she'd have been fascinated. I felt Renée's remembered happiness as she watched Bella taking pictures when she had dragged her all over the city she had fallen in love with. They had driven many places, looking at neighborhoods, through downtown with its towering skyscrapers, and driven over bridge after bridge while Bella rode with the window down and the breeze blowing in her hair. I shivered imagining what the cab of her car would have smelled like to me.

The high school baseball team Phil coached was having a game that night, and I joined them in the stadium, laughing at Bella's lack of enthusiasm. I ached to be able to hold her, but with Renée watching, I felt the need to keep my distance. She was already apprehensive enough about my obvious attachment to Bella.

Still trying to sell Bella on the benefits of life on the beach, Renée convinced Bella to go for a walk with me, and we strolled beside the ocean, hand in hand. We walked until we were out of sight of the house and found a dry place to sit and watch the ocean. She reclined against me, telling me about all the places Renée had taken her. The breeze blew through her hair and I let it flutter across my fingers, catching a strand and bringing it up to my face. During my long months away from her, I had often imagined the way Bella would smell to me if she were on the beach. There was no comparison to the reality of her scent. Bella had a floral scent, lightly flowery with a hint of strawberry. When it mixed with the salt, it opened up a whole new flavor and I groaned with pleasure.

She turned to me, her expression questioning. When she met my eyes, I smiled at her, trying to tell her with my eyes how much I loved her. I heard her pulse speed up and smelled the rush of adrenaline that flooded her system. She pressed her hand to my face and I turned to kiss her palm. She ran her hands across my forehead, along my jaw, and traced down my neck. I closed my eyes, shivering at her gentle touch. I felt her abruptly press her lips to mine and clutched her to me, reminding myself to be gentle, and balling a fist in her hair. I ran my lips along her lower lip, kissing the corners of her mouth. She opened her mouth against mine and, once again, I felt her taste my lips with her tongue.

I heard a low moan escape her and felt my breathing accelerate in response. I swallowed, making certain I couldn't taste any venom. Carefully, I opened my mouth and brushed my tongue against hers. The current that brief touch sent through my body was an electric shock I felt down to my toes. I heard her gasp at the same time and had to pull away from her, pressing my forehead against hers. We were both panting, and I breathed in the smell of her breath, still tasting her on my tongue. I opened my eyes, needing to see her face. Her eyes were closed and I watched her until she opened them.

"Marry me," I breathed as soon as her eyes met mine. She laughed, low and breathless.

"Edward," she shook her head, looking away, but smiling. I sighed, my mouth twisting.

Running my hands through her hair, touching either side of her face, I placed my palms against her cheeks, tilting her face so that she looked me in the eyes again. Her eyes were dark and liquid, catching the sparkle of the moon.

"Marry me," I insisted. Her mouth turned down and her forehead creased, but she didn't answer. "You love me."

"You know I do."

I nodded. "And you know I love you." She nodded. "So, marry me."

"I'm only eighteen," she protested.

"Exactly. You're legally an adult." I grinned at her, reminding her of her own words.

She sighed, looking away from me again. I watched her, waiting, trying to read her emotions. I saw her mouth twist into a smirk as she looked back into my eyes.

"Change me." She raised an eyebrow, twisting the conversation around.

Groaning, I tried not to see the image Alice had seen from the start: Bella's chocolate colored eyes replaced by the burning red of a newborn vampire. I knew it was her future, I had even accepted it, but I didn't have to like it, nor how eager she was for it. I would give anything for her to marry me, though, even if it meant stealing her soul myself.

"Ok, I will," I started, the words tasting like acid in my mouth. I saw her eyes widen and a smile begin at the corner of her lips.  _"If_  you marry me first."

She opened her mouth, but didn't say anything, finally letting her breath out in an uncomfortable huff. I was watching her eyes, trying to read her emotions, not understanding why she wouldn't say yes.

"It's called a compromise," I suggested, gently.

"No. It's called coercion. And it's not fair."

"You want to be a part of my family." It was a statement, not a question. I already knew the answer was yes.

She nodded.

"Isn't this the right way? Marry me. Be my wife." She shivered at the word, but it wasn't a shiver of excitement the way it would have been for me. This was dread. I shook my head, confused.

"Please don't do this now," she begged me.

I pressed my lips together, unhappy.

She sighed. "It's getting late. We should get back."

I grimaced, but helped her stand, keeping a hand on her until she was steady on her feet. Before I let her start walking back to Renée's house, I pulled her against me once more, placing my hand on her cheek and looking into her eyes.

"I love you."

She smiled at me. "I love you, too." Quickly she kissed me and then turned back toward the house. I suppressed a sigh and walked by her side, trying to contain my frustration.

I had fought against her vampire future for so long, doing everything in my power to prevent it from happening. It had taken her death to make me admit that I wanted to spend eternity with her. She was going to be a vampire, whether I changed her or not. We were going to be together forever. Accepting this at last, I wanted her to be mine, not just in my heart, but in every way. I wanted to marry her like I'd never wanted anything before. It was driving me crazy that she wouldn't say yes, even if she didn't really say no. Something told me that the real reason – the one she wouldn't admit to me – had something to do with Jacob.

I knew she cared for the dog. She called him her best friend, but I felt there was more to it than that. He loved her. I was afraid that she loved him, too. She'd chosen me over him, chosen me over every other boy she'd ever known. They'd all tried to win her heart, but I was the only one she'd said yes to. Now, the yes I wanted more than anything, she wouldn't give to me. Impatient, I lay on the couch and waited for Renée and Phil to fall asleep again.

When it was safe to do so, I joined her in her bed again. She pressed herself against me, sighing in relief at my cool touch against her too warm skin. While I waited for her to fall asleep, I tried to understand her reluctance. At every chance she got, she begged me to make her a vampire. What was the point if not to spend eternity with me? Was it eternity itself that she craved? I knew there were humans who sought our kind out for that very thing. Like Gianna – the human woman who served the Volturi – they ignored what we were for what they thought we could offer them. Where Bella was concerned, that didn't seem right, but when had I ever been able to understand the workings of her mysterious mind?

Saturday passed in much the same way, with Bella and Renée exploring Jacksonville, leaving me and Phil to entertain each other. When they got back, the three of them went for a swim while I worked on my essay again, impatient for the sun to sink low enough that I could go out without being in the direct line of its rays. It was very pleasant swimming in the ocean, except that I had to endure some teasing over my pale skin. Bella couldn't hide her amusement when her mother insisted I should have spent some of my visit getting a tan.

After Bella fell asleep that night, I left her embrace and stepped outside to call my family. Before I had dialed more than one number, my phone rang.  _Alice,_  I laughed.

"Hello, Alice," I said with a smile.

"Hey, Edward. How's Florida?" There was something off about her tone, but I answered her question, knowing she'd tell me what was bothering her when she was ready.

"Hot. Renée's nice. Bella's having a good time." I paused. "So? What happened? Is everyone okay?" I asked tensely.

"We're all fine," her voice grumbled. "I'm sorry, Edward. I should have understood the wolves' involvement better."

"What do you mean?" I asked, alarmed.

"Victoria got away."

"Damn!"

"We'd have  _had_ her if they'd just kept out of it!"

"Tell me everything," I growled.

"We caught up to her in the forest as she was on her way into town, just like I saw. She was skirting the edge of the reservation, jumping along the river. Once she started crossing to their territory, they joined the chase, keeping us on our side. Emmett nearly had her, but when he chased her across the river, one of them stopped him. While the damn dog was warning Emmett off, Victoria ran off through their territory. Stupid mutts! Instead of chasing the  _real_  threat, they had to get all territorial and kept us from going further."

I growled out a string of words that were not nearly violent enough to express my anger.

"I know, I know," Alice said calmly. "She seemed to know exactly how to keep us away. It was weird."

"She probably smelled their tracks, and with Jazz and Em patrolling the boarder… And then, too, when I was hunting her, Maria told me a little about her. I don't know if I'd call it an ability like yours or mine, but she's got a survival instinct. She may have some way to know the best way to fight us is to get the wolves to do her work for her," I speculated.

"You may be right."

"Is she gone? Is there any indication she's coming back?"

"No. I don't see anything. You and Bella can come home tomorrow."

I sighed, relieved and frustrated at the same time. I'd really hoped to be done with all of this by the end of this weekend.

On our last day in Florida, I stood by the window, watching Bella walk along the beach in the sunlight. I recognized the image from Alice's vision and smiled to myself, glad I had made this one come true. She was so beautiful in the sun. Her normally dark hair caught the sun's rays and shined brightly. With the wind blowing it away from her face, it was a flowing river of molten honey, dark and liquid, with subtle shades of red. How I wished I could be out there in the sun with her.

While I watched, I listened to the rhythmic sounds of the gentle waves as they curled against the sand and found that they suggested a song to me. Unconsciously, my fingers began to move over a non-existent piano, my left hand catching the low, steady rhythm of the waves. My right hand described the birds I saw, light and darting as they ran up and down the beach, digging for morsels to eat. I knew why Renée loved her Florida home so much; the beach  _was_  beautiful. But it could not compare to the sight of the angel who walked in the sand, and Bella's beauty wove its way into the melody: stubborn and mysterious, self-sufficient and yet so very fragile. I smiled to myself, looking forward to getting back to my piano so that I could hear the tune.

Her mother joined her on the beach and they went for a walk, moving out of my field of vision. She wanted to talk to Bella about me. Although the only times I'd really touched her was when Renée couldn't see us, it was obvious to her how tightly bound we were to each other. My life, my very existence depended on her and I was aware of her every movement.

Renée's child-like innocence pushed aside all of the masks people wore. No matter how I tried to pretend to be just a boyfriend, she could tell that there was more going on than we would admit. Though I couldn't hear their words, I was able to follow Renée's mind and listened in to their conversation.

" _Bella?"_

" _What is it, Mom?"_

Renée watched where she was placing her feet, avoiding looking at Bella. She sighed.  _"I'm worried…"_

" _What's wrong? What can I do?"_  Bella instantly worried, afraid for her mother. I laughed softly.

" _It's not me. I'm worried about you… and Edward,"_ she said warily, shaking her head. At last, she looked at Bella, but Bella was avoiding her gaze now. I saw the blush swirl under her cheeks at the mention of my name.

" _Oh."_

" _You two are more serious than I'd been thinking."_  Bella was frowning now, chewing on her lip.  _"There's something… strange about the way you two are together."_  She was speaking softly, trying to figure out her words as she said them.  _"The way he watches you – it's so… protective. Like he's about to throw himself in front of a bullet to save you or something."_

Bella laughed at this, but it was an uncomfortable sound and she still avoided Renée's eyes. I laughed, too. She was right. I'd throw myself in front of a bullet, or any danger that might threaten her. Of course the bullet wouldn't hurt me. There weren't many things that could. But even if it did, I would save her. Living without her wasn't an option anymore.

" _That's a bad thing?"_

" _No."_  Renée was frowning now. I felt the confusion in her mind.  _"It's just_  different. _He's very intense about you… and very careful. I feel like I don't really understand your relationship. Like there's some secret I'm missing…"_

I shook my head. No matter how I tried to seem like one, I was  _not_  human, and Renée saw through my mask. Bella made light of her mother's concern.

" _I think you're imagining things, Mom."_

Renée finally spoke the thoughts that were bothering her. I was just a boy in love with her daughter.  _Bella,_ on the other hand, she knew and loved fiercely. And she could see a difference in her that she couldn't define, something that seemed other than just growing up.

" _It's not just him. I wish you could see how you move around him."_

" _What do you mean?"_

" _The way you move – you orient yourself around him without even thinking about it. When he moves, even a little bit, you adjust your position at the same time. Like magnets… or gravity. You're like a… satellite, or something. I've never seen anything like it."_  I was amazed. How often had I called Bella a danger magnet, and myself the biggest danger in her life?

Bella pursed her lips together and looked at the ground. She smiled, but there was something off about it. Her brows were furrowed and the smile didn't touch her eyes. Renée noted this, too.  _"Don't tell me, you're reading mysteries again aren't you? Or is it sci-fi this time?"_

" _That's beside the point."_

" _Found anything good?"_  Bella diverted the conversation away from us and Renée was distracted for a moment.

" _Well, there was one – "_  with an effort, she remembered that she was on a mission. Her daughter needed her and this might be the only chance she had to talk to her about it.  _" – but that doesn't matter. We're talking about you right now."_

" _You should stick to romance, Mom. You know how you freak yourself out."_

" _I'm being silly, aren't I?"_  Renée was embarrassed now.

When Bella didn't answer right away, Renée finally looked at her and I saw Bella's guilty expression before she quickly hid it.

" _Not silly – just being a mom."_

Renée laughed now, reassured somewhat. I could feel the wavering in her mind. Bella had always been so sure of herself whereas Renée changed her mind at the slightest provocation. She gestured toward the ocean, toward the bright white, sandy beach and the crystal clear, blue water, the waves curling rhythmically against the shore.

" _And all this isn't enough to get you to move back in with your silly mom?"_

She watched as Bella pantomimed wringing water out of her hair and wiping sweat off of her forehead. I was fascinated; Bella was a terrible liar, but she seemed to manipulate her mother so naturally. I wondered if this was because she was so used to being forced to sway Renée away from her less realistic interests. Or it could be because Renée  _was_  so easily swayed that she believed her so easily.

" _You get used to the humidity,"_ Renée assured her.

" _You can get used to rain, too,"_  Bella said firmly.

Renée nudged Bella with her elbow, laughing, and took her hand as they continued their walk. Once back at the house and watching Bella and I together again, I felt her doubts return. I  _wasn't_ human, no matter how carefully I acted like one, and Renée could see it, even if she couldn't understand it.


	7. Possibilities

**Possibilities**

We'd booked our flight for the end of the day Sunday, leaving Renée and Phil's house just after the sun set. I let Bella have the window seat, avoiding the sun as we followed it westward. Glad to be away from Renée's scrutiny, I cuddled Bella against me and played with her hair, enjoying the way it still smelled of the ocean. Briefly, I considered asking her not to shower for a few days, wanting to keep the smell in her hair.

She seemed pensive, lost in thought during the flight home, and I watched her unconscious expressions, trying to read the emotions as they played across her face. She'd frown and worry her lip, smile ruefully and shake her head, the corners of her mouth would turn down, her eyes turning sad, she paled and closed her eyes, swallowing hard. As I drove us back from Seattle to Forks, I couldn't hold back my questions any longer.

"You've been very quiet. Did the plane make you sick?" I knew what a weak stomach she had and wondered if her expressions had been emotional or physical.

"No, I'm okay."

"Are you sad to leave?" No matter than she had assured her mother she did not want to move to Florida, I knew how much she missed her.

"More relieved than sad, I think."

Shocked, I stared at her and raised an eyebrow, hoping she'd elaborate.

"Renée is so much more…  _perceptive_  than Charlie in some ways. It was making me jumpy."

I couldn't help but to laugh at that. "Your mother has a very interesting mind. Almost childlike, but very insightful. She sees things differently than other people."

She didn't answer me, turned instead to stare out of the windshield, chewing thoughtfully on her lip once more. I drove slowly – for me – and Bella's eyes drifted closed. I was surprised at how much I'd missed the rainy town and its familiar scents, fascinating though the beach had been. As we pulled close to Charlie's house, I caught his anxiety and loneliness, and I heard him dwelling on Jacob. Growling to myself, I listened hard needing to find out what the dog had done now.

…  _overreacting… air travel is safe… call every hour…_

He'd told Billy of Bella's trip to visit her mother – with me – and he'd gotten very upset, yelling at Charlie even. Charlie was doubting the wisdom of allowing her to go with me now, even though he couldn't deny Bella's right to see her mother now any more than he had when we'd convinced him to let us go. And now, after avoiding her for over a month, the dog had been calling him all day, demanding to know when – or if – Bella had gotten back.

Breathing deeply, I forced myself to remain calm. Bella was with  _me._  Not Jacob. Gently, I touched her face, brushing my fingers against her silky, warm cheek. She blinked up at me, stretching and looking around. I kissed her forehead, breathing in her ocean-enhanced scent one more time.

"We're home, Sleeping Beauty. Time to awake," I teased her.

She looked toward the house as Charlie peeked outside. He thought he'd heard a car pull up and was relieved Bella was home at last. I walked around to open the door for her and when her eyes met mine, she must have seen my discomfort.

"How bad?"

"Charlie's not going to be difficult. He missed you."  _Charlie_  wasn't the problem. Just like that weekend, it was the dogs getting in the way again.

She narrowed her eyes at me, not quite believing me. She allowed me to carry her bag into the house for her, grinning when she saw Charlie's happy face.

"Welcome home, kid! How was Jacksonville?" he asked anxiously. He was afraid that the beach life would have enticed her to move away. Though he wanted her away from  _me_  he didn't want that at the expense of her moving away from  _him_.

"Moist. And buggy," she said, wrinkling her nose. I had to hold back a laugh. Poor Bella, I wasn't the only one who thought her blood smelled sweet. She'd been attacked by swarms of mosquitoes.

"So Renée didn't sell you on the University of Florida?"

"She tried. But I'd rather drink water than inhale it," she said with enough sincerity to convince him.

Charlie eyed me, but decided that his daughter's homecoming was not a good time to be rude. He made an effort to be polite and asked, "Did you have a nice time?"

"Yes. Renée was very hospitable," I told him truthfully.

"That's… um, good. Glad you had fun." The niceties over with, he turned to Bella and grabbed her into a big bear hug worthy of Emmett.

"Impressive," Bella whispered in his ear. I hid a smile while Charlie laughed. He'd really tried to be nice to me for her sake and was glad she appreciated it.

"I really missed you, Bells." Trying to make light of his intense emotions, he joked, "The food around here sucks when you're gone."

"I'll get on it," she smiled as she headed toward the kitchen.

"Would you call Jacob first? He's been bugging me every five minutes since six o'clock this morning. I promised I'd have you call him before you even unpacked." I was gritting my teeth, controlling my expression carefully. I felt a rumble wanting to build in my chest and swallowed my ire.

"Jacob wants to talk to me?" Her voice was careful, surprised.

"Pretty bad, I'd say. He wouldn't tell me what it was about – just said it was important." Charlie was annoyed to be kept in the dark. He felt there was something going on, but couldn't place his finger on it.

The sound of the phone ringing filled the house and I held back my annoyance. Well, at least I'd get to find out why he was calling.

"That's him again, I'd bet my next paycheck," Charlie grumbled. I was sure he was right.

"I got it," Bella said, and I followed her to the kitchen. I wanted to hear what he had to say for myself. Bella averted her face from me when she answered it, to my annoyance; I wanted to read her emotions. My fists clenched while I waited to hear what he had to say.

"Hello?" she answered, her back to me.

"You're back," I heard the husky voice I recognized. The last time I had heard that voice over a phone line was when I'd thought Bella was dead and he'd told me Charlie was at the funeral.  _The_  funeral, he'd said. I shook my head, wondering if he'd been vague on purpose.

At the sound of his voice, I heard something else that gave me cause for dread. Bella's heart skipped. I smelled a sudden flow of adrenaline and when she answered him, there was a wistful longing in her voice.

She had to clear her throat before she could answer, "Yes." That simple word had me hurting.

"Why didn't you call me?" Jacob blurted out, rudely. I wanted to reach through the phone and snap his neck for daring to speak to her that way.

Thankfully, she took offence to his tone, too and growled angrily back at him, "Because I've been in the house for exactly four seconds and your call interrupted Charlie telling me that you'd called." The sound of her anger was soothing to me. I forced myself to loosen my clenched fists and clear the anger off of my expression. I watched the set of her shoulders, and the curl of her fingers as they gripped the phone with unnecessary force.

"Oh. Sorry." His voice was softer.

"Sure," she said, forgiving him easily. "Now, why are you harassing Charlie?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, I figured out that part all by myself. Go ahead."

She waited, but he said nothing. Then, finally, "You going to school tomorrow?"

"Of course I am," I heard the confusion and irritation in her voice. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno. Just curious." They were quiet for a moment.

Bella pressed him, "So what did you want to talk about, Jacob?"

"Nothing, really, I guess." He was hesitant, slow to speak. "I… wanted to hear your voice."

"Yeah, I know. I'm  _so_  glad you called me, Jake. I…" she stopped and I ached at the pain in her voice. I was sure then, that I was right. The reason she wouldn't tell me yes, was because, while she loved me, she also loved  _him._  It took all of my willpower not to sprint to the reservation and pound him into a bloody pulp.

"I have to go," he said suddenly.

"What?" Her voice was startled, upset.

"I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"But Jake – " he hung up. Carefully, I controlled my expression, unclenched my fists once more. I didn't want her to see my fury at him, or the hurt her tone had caused me. She held the phone to her ear a moment longer, even knowing the line was dead. "That was short," she muttered.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, pleased with how calm my voice sounded.

She turned to face me slowly and I tried to read the expression on her face. It was wary, a mixture of confusion and hurt.

"I don't know. I wonder what that was about." She sounded annoyed now.

Glad for any excuse the dog gave her to be unhappy with him, I felt a smile tugging at my lips. "You're guess is probably better than mine."

"Mmm," she agreed.

She turned from me, her eyes distant, her expression troubled and confused. She absently started rummaging through the fridge, getting what she needed to cook dinner. I watched her carefully as I leaned casually against the counter. She didn't meet my eyes. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, her lips tight and pulling down at the corners. I could tell she was trying to figure the conversation out, turning it around in her mind, looking for hidden meanings.

I'd been afraid he was going to say something about Victoria, that he would try to discredit my family as breaking the treaty, but he hadn't really said anything.

While I watched, I saw sudden comprehension on her face as she froze, the package of meat slipping from her fingers, unnoticed. I grabbed it and tossed it on the counter before it could hit the floor, then pulled her against me. She looked shocked, scared.

"What's wrong?" She didn't answer, just shook her head. She was still as a statue, not even breathing. Anxiously, I shook her lightly. "Bella?" I demanded.

"I think… I think he was checking." Her voice was low. If Charlie was in the room with us, he probably wouldn't have been able to hear her. "Checking to make sure. That I'm human, I mean."

Instantly comprehending what she meant I heard my breath leak between my clenched teeth in a furious hiss. He thought I'd taken Bella away to change her into a vampire. Did he really think I'd bring her home to her father the very next day if that had been the case?

"We'll have to leave," she whispered. "Before. So that it doesn't break the treaty. We won't ever be able to come back."

Was she only just realizing this? She knew that she could never see her father again once she was a vampire. It was why we were pretending we were going to Alaska for college. Eventually, we'd have to fake her death. Once she became a vampire, she  _would_  be dead. I'd always known this. It was one reason why I fought against her change. In almost every way that counted, she'd be dead. Her heart would stop, her flesh would be cold, she wouldn't even need to breath. Everyone she knew would be beyond her reach. Except for me. To have a life with me, she'd have to give up her life.

I held her close to me and whispered, "I know."

"Ahem," Charlie pointedly cleared his throat behind us. Bella jumped in my arms and I felt the heat of her blush. I leaned casually against the counter once more, unhappy. I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of eternity with Bella, except for her to remain human. I would give up eternity gladly for the chance to spend one human lifetime with her. I hated Jacob Black! He could give her everything I couldn't, and they both wanted that. If Bella would just admit it to herself.

"If you don't want to make dinner, I can call for a pizza," Charlie offered, sensing the tension in the room. He guessed we were fighting over Jacob.

"No, that's okay," Bella said, quickly. "I'm already started."

"Okay," Charlie said and leaned against the door frame, watching me. He knew I was angry, could sense the tension leaking from my still body, and actually feared for his daughter. His fear only made me angrier. He was right to fear that I would hurt her. I had hurt her in the past and I was destined to kill her. I pressed my lips together and watched Bella cook.

As Bella was finishing dinner, I excused myself. I thought I should let them eat in peace, and Charlie was thinking loudly that I really  _should_ go home to see my family. He was right.

When I walked into my house, Alice greeted me, but her voice was hard, accusing. "Edward."

"What?" I asked, tensely.

"Stop it."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Stop what?" I growled.

"Stop doubting yourself. And stop doubting  _her_."

I eyed her warily.

"She's made her decision. Made it long ago, in fact.  _You_  are who she wants."

"Then why won't she say yes?" I flung at her, realizing the cause of my anger and pain wasn't just Jacob. Or, rather, that he  _was_  the root of my anger, but not just due to the recent phone call.

"Just because she  _hasn't_  doesn't mean she  _won't_ ," she insisted.

"She's in love with Jacob. I  _know_  it."

Alice sighed and rolled her eyes at me. "Listen to me, Edward. I love you. You know that, right?"

"Of course. You're my sister, and I love you, too."

She scrunched up her nose and pursed her lips. "I'm not really your sister."

"You  _are_  my sister," I protested, alarmed. "Jasper's my brother and you're his wife."

"That doesn't change the fact that I love you. Just like I love Emmett, Rose, Esme, and Carlisle, too."

"Yeah," I agreed, relieved. "We're family. What's your point?"

"My point is that there are many kinds of love. She may love Jacob, too, but you are the one she wants to be with."

"But…" I said, slowly. "What if I wasn't here?"

She groaned and closed her eyes, rubbing her hand across her forehead. "Not again, Edward. Please?"

"If I had never met her, she'd be with him," I insisted.

"You're being ridiculous. How many times do we have to go through this? You can't leave her again! Don't you remember what it did to both of you last time? It didn't work then, and it won't work now."

"It'd be different this time. She'd know why I left, the real reason, not the lie."

"Do you think that would make a difference to her? Or to you?"

I took a couple of steps toward her, stopping just inches in front of her. "I need you to try, Alice." I stared hard into her eyes, as though I could make the future change just by watching hard enough.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Try what?"

"Try to see. If I wasn't here, could Jacob make her happy?"

She huffed. "I can't see the mutt. You know that."

"But you can see Bella. Look at her future. Could a future with Jacob make her happy?"

"My gift doesn't work that way. You  _are_  here. The only future she has is with you."

I closed my eyes and thought of the way Bella said Jacob's name at night. In order for Bella to have a future with Jacob, I'd have to take myself out of the picture permanently. Firmly, ignoring the burning pain that blazed through me at the thought, I decided to leave. I knew that I couldn't stay away from her, though. The seven months I'd tried had shown me that.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice high pitched with alarm. I ignored her, concentrating on making the future change.

I knew that the Volturi weren't an option anymore, but I was certain that I could find some way to accomplish my aim. It shouldn't be too difficult to find a nomad and provoke them. In Alice's mind, I saw a blazing fire, a thick, unnaturally purple smoke rising from it, and felt her terror at what she knew she was seeing. The future blurred and shifted, images of my family in pain flashed through her mind, but I ignored them, too. It was Bella's future I needed to see.

This time, I wouldn't make my family leave; I wouldn't put them through that. They would stay, comfort Bella through my loss. I would tell them to see to it that she healed. They would encourage her to go about her life, to see Jacob again, to be with him, to live her life with him, knowing I could never return.

I waited patiently, determined to give Bella the chance to have a future with Jacob. Alice saw Bella grieving at my loss with my family supporting her. Then, Bella was gone from the scene, and she saw Charlie, weeping over a closed casket.

 _No!_  Alice met my eyes, her head shaking rapidly back and forth.

"Try again, Alice.  _Jacob._  Bella and Jacob together." I thought of what could make that happen, decided that, before I left, I'd seek out the wolf, explain things to him. Make  _sure_  that he would be there for her.

Alice's eyes went blank again, and the possibilities flowed through her mind. Bella, grieving, then her future going blank when the wolf went to her. Alice tried to see Bella again, concentrating on finding her in the future, but when Jacob left her side, and Alice could see her again, the inevitable image that followed was of Charlie, weeping.

My sister broke out of the vision, but before I could prompt her to try again, she grabbed me. "Stop this! Do you have any idea how much you're hurting me? How much you will hurt everyone if you do what you're thinking? I can't see her with him! That future is  _not_  a possibility. No matter what you decide, she has decided to be with you. You can't force her to change her mind, no matter what you try. The only futures Bella has ever had since the day she met you was to join us or die."

I ran my hands through my hair, seeing both of those futures far too clearly. Alice had seen her death time and again, and so many of them were my fault. My fists clenched and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to see the many visions of Bella's death that Alice had shown me.

"And if she changes her mind? If she would admit to herself how she feels about him?"

"That's not going to happen," she said, firmly.

"Alice," I growled.

She narrowed her eyes at me, taking a deep breath. "If she changes her mind, and decides it's Jacob that she wants, then, and only then, will I be able to see it. It's not something that you can force to happen. But is that what you really want? For her to be with Jacob and not you?"

"No! Of course not." I sighed, conflicted. "But, I don't want her to die, either. I hate that she is so eager to."

Alice rolled her eyes. "The only thing Bella is eager to do is to join our family. That does not equate to death, Edward."

I scowled at her. "Yes, it does! Being a vampire  _means_  death. For her and for every human she meets."

She threw her hands into the air and started to walk away from me, frustrated and angry.

"How many people have you killed, Alice?"

She turned back to face me, her eyes wide. "That's not the same thing," she whispered, her lower lip trembling.

"No? Explain to me how it's different."

"She'll have what I didn't. I woke up  _alone_ , Edward, without even my human memories. She'll have you. Me. She'll have the support of our family. We'll keep her from killing."

"She's convinced of the same thing," I muttered, shaking my head. "But I had Carlisle and Esme. Do you know how many people I've killed?"

"You can't keep punishing yourself for what happened decades ago. And it certainly isn't fair for you to punish her for something you did before she was born. Before  _Charlie_  was even born."

"So what about Charlie, then? The vision you had of him is inevitable. Everyone she knows will have to believe her to be dead. And she'll have to spend eternity watching anyone she ever meets die, even if she doesn't kill them."

"Humans die, Edward. It's the natural order of things."

"Exactly!"

"Well, which is it, then?" she yelled, losing her composure. "Either you don't want her to die, in which case becoming a vampire is the only solution. Or, you want her to go about her human life, and it doesn't take any ability to see the future to know that will end in her death. You can't have it both ways."

I pressed my lips together, trying not to remember what it had felt like to experience her death. Unable to deny the truth, I repeated, "I don't want her to die. I can't even stand the thought," I shook my head.

"Then accept that her future lies with you - with us."

"You're asking me to accept that her future includes murder, too. And I can't stand that thought, either."

"Carlisle has never killed," she pointed out.

"Yes," I said sourly. "And I almost wish that he had, at least once. She sees him, and holds him up as proof that it's possible to be a vampire and not be a murderer."

"And she's right. Why won't you believe in her?"

"Once Carlisle changes her, you won't be able to say that he's never killed."

"I will if  _you_  change her," she glared at me.

"How many millions of vampires have walked this Earth? And out of those, one –  _one! -_  has managed to refrain from killing. The odds aren't exactly in her favor. She's convinced that it won't happen, but it  _will!"_

She cocked an eyebrow at me, smirking. "Do you have any idea how stubborn Bella is?"

I laughed, ruefully. Yes, if Bella was anything, it was stubborn.

"Bella knows what she's choosing in choosing you. Do you think she hasn't seen how you have regretted your actions? That she hasn't seen what affect your murders have had on you? She is prepared for her future in a way that no other vampire has ever been. Just knowing what to expect will make a difference. And then, you plan on spending her newborn year away from any humans, right?"

"Yes. We're going to Alaska. As far from any possible human contact as we can manage."

Alice nodded, serenely. "And when that year is over, we'll reintegrate her into human society carefully, slowly. I know you're scared, but you need to trust her."

"I do. But it's still a risk. A risk she doesn't  _have_  to take! And once it's done, once she's a vampire, there's no going back. Once Carlisle changes her, if she realizes that she should have chosen Jacob, it will be too late."

"Edward," she groaned. "How many times has Bella shown you that she wants you? What is it going to take to convince you? Bella is firm in what she wants. I have _never_ seen her with anyone else. Bella is going to be a vampire, whether you change her or not."

Though I didn't want to feel comforted by Alice's certainty, I felt the hard knot of worry and fear ease. I needed Bella, and though I would have been willing to have her spend her life with Jacob if Alice could have seen that as a possibility, I was relieved beyond words that it was  _not_.

"Well, then, show me her future with me. If she wants me, prove it. Show me her yes."

I watched her, hopeful, excited, but she hardened her thoughts, unwilling to let me see anything more. Instead, she focused on the events of the weekend, on watching Victoria escape – Emmett had been  _so close!_ He'd had his hands on her at one point, damn it! – and watching the wolves defend their territory from  _us_ , instead of  _her_.

"Stupid mutts," I grumbled. Despite my fears, I was glad that Bella's future was with me, not him.

"Hmm," Alice agreed with me. "Have fun in Florida?" she asked brightly.

I shrugged. It had been nice watching Bella in the sun on the beach, but it was incomplete because I hadn't been able to share it with her. I had enjoyed her interactions with her mother, but they were tinged with sadness, a letting go. Bella had been saying goodbye.

"Where is everybody?"

"Carlisle and Esme are at the hospital. Rose is with Emmett, and he's circling the town again. Jazz is trying to follow Victoria's path back to where she entered Forks, but it's tricky. I've been trying to watch her, pinpoint her location, but I can't really see Victoria _doing_  anything. She's hunting somewhere, or planning to. But there's just trees, and a river." She shook her head, frustrated. I nodded, understanding. Alice couldn't force her visions any more than I could. If Victoria wasn't planning anything, there'd be no plan to see.

"And Aro?"

"Nothing new," she said, disgust in her voice. She hated watching him. "Oh, Rose said to tell you that you owe her big time," Alice grinned at me.

"She found Mike's problem?" I asked hopefully.

"Mm-hmm. She'll tell you about it later so you can fix it."

Feeling somewhat better, I went to my room to unpack from the trip. I'd spend a few hours working on the song that had suggested itself to me from the beach, and then return to Bella to spend the night in her arms. Smiling again, I pushed my fears away and concentrated on the vision Alice kept firm in her mind: Bella and I, hands entwined.

But I couldn't ignore the blood-red eyes staring back at me, try as I might.


	8. Motives

**Motives**

As I drove Bella to school the next day, I basked in her good mood. School was almost over and it was hard not to feel optimistic about the end to high school. I was planning on driving her to work after school and, oh yes, seeing Mike and his car while I was there. I was having fun teasing Bella about her classes and her obsession with Jane Austin, just so that I could hear her laugh at me when a dark cloud intruded on my happiness.

I could hear angry thoughts, coupled with vague fears from many minds. Surprised at these unexpected thoughts, I searched for their source and found an unwelcome mind I recognized far too easily. Fury displaced my good mood instantly and I had to concentrate on not breaking the steering wheel I held.

"If I asked you to do something, would you trust me?" I asked Bella. I saw her look at me in surprise and heard her pulse increase, though her breathing slowed.

Cautiously, she responded, "That depends."

"I was afraid you'd say that," I grumbled as I pulled into the parking lot.

"What do you want me to do, Edward?" she asked me, her voice tense.

"I want you to stay in the car. I want you to wait here until I come back for you." I pulled into my usual parking spot and turned off the engine, watching her out of the corner of my eye as she stared at me in confusion.

"But… _why?"_  And then I saw comprehension on her face as she caught sight of the towering muscular form of the werewolf lounging against his motorcycle. "Oh."

The students were terrified of him, and it was easy to see why. The boy was even bigger now than he'd been when I'd seen him a little more than a month ago. For all that he was sixteen, the boy would have towered over almost any grown man. He stood taller than me by at least a head, and he was bulky and muscular, besides. There was a large cleared space around him since none of the students were brave enough to walk anywhere close to him. His black motorcycle only served to enhance the menace, parked on the sidewalk as it was. It spoke of a complete disregard for the rules or safety.

His face betrayed none of the inner fury he felt. It was a tight mask of calm that was worse in its way than an angry scowl would have been. His mind was seething behind the mask, full of pain at Bella's rejection, and hatred for me. He was almost daring me to challenge him, knowing I could hear his thoughts.

… _any of the coven sets foot on our land again, we'll consider the treaty null and attack without hesitating. Unlike last time, when the treaty was made, there are enough wolves in my pack now to take them down…_

"You jumped to the wrong conclusion last night," I told her quietly. "He asked about school because he knew that I would be where you were. He was looking for a safe place to talk to me. A place with witnesses."

I watched Bella process this information. Her expression one of surprise, then understanding, then chagrin, and finally anger and determination.

"I'm not staying in the car," she insisted.

"Of course not," I groaned. When did Bella ever make things easy for me? "Well, let's get this over with." Deliberately taking her hand in mine, we walked directly toward him.

… _don't own her. She'd be with me if you'd let her. She_ wants _to be with me. I know it, and so do you. The day will come when she will, too, and on that day, I will gladly rip you to shreds, treaty or no._

_My ancestors were fools to make deals with demons. When you show your true colors, we'll be ready. My pack grows stronger every day. We'll take down the red-head. If you'd have stayed out of it, we'd have gotten her already. We'll be watching you and if we even catch your scent on our lands, you'll be ash faster than you can blink._

"You could have called us," I told him, my voice hard and furious. I felt the fire in his bones, only the proximity of the humans keeping him in his human form. All werewolves were volatile and this monster who hated me so much was even more so. Determined to protect Bella from him, I tugged her behind me, placing my body between the two of them.

He sneered at me, "Sorry. I don't have any leeches on my speed dial." The boy was young and so eager for a fight he didn't even bother to keep his voice down.

"You could have reached me at Bella's house, of course," I told him, unsubtly reminding him that I was always there, her protector from every danger, him included.

He ground his teeth together and frowned at me.

_You may have fooled Bella, but not me. I know you're evil and I know Charlie hates you almost as much as I do. Would you really like me to call over there? I don't have to break the treaty to tell him what you are. There are ways around… loopholes._

I felt the fire trying to break through his control again. I hated feeling the fire in his bones; it stung and prickled, and I had to stop myself from rubbing my hands along my arm, knowing it would do no good. Talking with the angry werewolf  _here_  was a bad idea. If he lost control of his form, more lives than Bella's would be in danger.

"This is hardly the place, Jacob. Could we discuss this later?"

"Sure, sure. I'll stop by your crypt after school," he said with a snort. "What's wrong with now?"

Holding back my growls, I was furious at how close he kept coming to breaking the treaty. He'd already called me a leech and now he talked about my house – Esme's beautiful house, light, open, and airy – being a crypt. He was skating the edge purposely, dropping hints in the hopes that the humans would see the truth of what I was without him exposing us directly.

I looked significantly at the children that were gathering closer to us and then back at the wolf. Though they'd been afraid to approach Jacob, now that I was there confronting him, they were drawn to the potential spectacle. Most of them didn't like me and they liked the idea of the large, obviously threatening young man fighting me.

Speaking quietly, knowing he would hear me, but not wanting any humans to, not even Bella, I told him, "I already know what you came to say. Message delivered. Consider us warned." I glanced at Bella, worried that she would figure out what was going on. I didn't want her to know Victoria was still after her, that she'd been so close.

" _Warned?_  What are you talking about?" Bella demanded.

"You didn't tell her? What, were you afraid she'd take our side?" Jacob was shocked that I hadn't mentioned the results of the weekend's vampire hunt.

"Please drop it, Jacob," I hissed, trying to keep my emotions out of my voice. Bella had been mad enough at me for manipulating her father into letting her go to see her mother. If she knew  _why_  I had done it, I'd be in yet more trouble.

"Why?"  _Why should I drop it? She deserves to know the truth._

"What don't I know?" I didn't look at her. "Edward?" she demanded.

 _I've never lied to her. Can you say the same? You are a liar and a murderer. You're a monster and you know it. On the day that she realizes this, I will be waiting… or maybe I won't have to. Maybe that time has come._  He lifted an eyebrow at me.

Furious, his accusations hurt because I knew they were true. I  _was_  a liar, a murderer, and a monster. I had always known that I didn't deserve Bella.

"Jake?" she pressed him when I didn't answer.

Raising his eyebrows, he answered her with the truths I had tried to shield her from.

"He didn't tell you that his big…  _brother_  crossed the line Saturday night? Paul was totally justified in – "

"It was no-man's land!" I insisted. My family had been on the border, not actually  _in_  their territory… yet.

"Was not!" he fumed, knowing Emmett had been about to follow Victoria right to the Quileutes front door. Once more, I felt the sting of fire running through Jacob's bones and saw his hands trembling with the need to let the wolf burst forth. He was breathing heavily, trying to keep his form intact.

"Emmett and Paul?" Bella demanded, fear in her voice. "What happened? Were they fighting? Why? Did Paul get hurt?" her voice climbing higher with each sentence.

"No one fought," I assured her. "No one got hurt. Don't be anxious."

Wondering how I'd gotten her to go out of town if not to run away from the dangerous vampire, he accused me, "You didn't tell her anything at all, did you? Is that why you took her away? So she wouldn't know that – "

"Leave now," I told him, stopping him from saying Victoria's name.

I was livid. Jacob was taunting me, deliberately telling Bella exactly what I didn't want her to know: her life was in danger. So was the life of every person she cared about with the vindictive vampire after her. Mine, Charlie's, my entire family's, and, yes, the wolves', too. She always blamed herself for everything and I didn't want her to do anything rash. When James had threatened her mother, Bella had been quick to sacrifice herself to save Renée. When my life had been in danger – admittedly because I was trying to end it myself – she had risked her own life by coming to Italy to save me. What might she do if she thought Victoria would kill me because of her?

"Why haven't you told her?" Jacob demanded. I couldn't answer, because in answering him, I'd be telling her exactly what I didn't want her to know. We stared at each other in silence – a silence I realized was surrounding us. The students who gathered around us were quiet, trying to pick up our soft conversation, trying to understand what we were fighting about. Most of them figured the girl at my side was a big part of it… maybe the entire reason for our fight.

The silence was broken suddenly by a sound that brought fear to my silent heart. Bella's soft body was trembling against mine and her breath was coming in fast gasps. Her heart was racing with fear, and I detected the smell of adrenaline flooding her system. I closed my eyes briefly in defeat.

"She came back for me," Bella finally choked out.

I pulled her to me, holding her firmly to my side and looked into her tear filled eyes. As I watched, those tears spilled over. Each one seemed an accusation to me, another lie I had told, another way I had wronged her. I wiped them away, brushing my cold fingers across her soft cheeks.

"It's fine. I'll never let her get close to you, it's fine." I hated the fear in her eyes and I hated the dog who had put it there. She was safe! I'd kept us both alive and we were going to stay that way, damn it!

Shooting him a hate filled glare, I growled, "Does that answer your question, mongrel?"

"You don't think Bella had a right to know? It's her life."

Speaking low so that none of the children around us could hear, I questioned him, "Why should she be frightened when she was never in danger?"

"Better frightened than lied to," he said, self-righteously.  _She's not a child. You should have let her know, let her make her own choices._

I stared into her worried eyes and watched as the tears continued to leak out of them. Wiping them away from her cheeks over and over, I reminded myself that I could  _not_  attack him here.

"Do you really think hurting her is better than protecting her?"

"She's tougher than you think. And she's been through worse."

I glared at him, hating the reminder of what I had done to her. As soon as our eyes met, the mutt's face shifted, taking on a gleam of vindictive contemplation.

 _How exactly does the mind reading work, eh? Do you just hear? Or can you, perhaps, also_ see?

To my horror, he began to vividly picture Bella's face. He brought forth Sam's memory of finding her comatose in the forest after I'd left her –  _how the hell can_ he _see that memory?_  He showed me her face on the day that she first came to visit him, when she brought him the bikes to fix. I could see the depression on her face, the grief in her eyes. I watched as she wrestled with the heavy bike, learning how to ride. I saw her take off down a dirt road, flying away from him. Her hair streaming behind her, she increased her speed until she lost control abruptly and spilled over the side, hitting her head on a rock. By the time Jacob had caught up to her, her face had been stained with blood. She had paid it no mind, a look of excited happiness on her face, ready to go again.

I knew what the happiness was from. She'd found that when she was risking her life, her mind would conjure up my voice from where she'd buried it under the pain. She was happy because she'd heard my  _anger_. I felt my face twisting in pain as the visions continued. Jacob showing her injuring herself over and over, the blood covered bandages as bad as the happy smile on her face. He showed me her pain filled face as she clutched at her chest, looking as though someone – me – had shoved a knife through her heart.

Jacob remembered running, trying to catch up with her as he saw her about to jump off of an enormous cliff. I felt his remembered terror as he watched her throw herself to her death. He jumped in after her and – though my mind had conjured the image of her still lifeless form floating in the water, her dark hair swirling around her, it was  _nothing_  to Jacob's memory, to actually  _seeing_  it – he saw her floating in the water, her eyes closed, her hair floating with the current, a smile on her lips.  _Oh, God, make it stop!_  I felt the panic in his heart as he fought the strong currents that pulled her farther and farther away from him, his lungs burning, certain he'd never be able to reach her.

"That's funny," he said with a gloating smile and a laugh.

Controlling my expression with an effort, I tried in vain to block the horrid images from my mind, concentrating instead on the girl in front of me.

 _She's not dead,_  I reminded myself.  _She's here, in my arms, where she belongs, where she will be forever._

Bella glanced back and forth between us, understanding that Jacob was attacking me without quite understanding how.

"What are you doing to him?" she demanded of him.

"It's nothing, Bella," I lied smoothly. "Jacob just has a good memory, that's all."

The mutt grinned broadly, knowing he'd been successful and he began again with more images. Bella hugging him, snuggling with him on his couch, the time he'd almost kissed her…

"Stop it!" she shrieked. "Whatever you're doing."

"Sure, if you want," he said with a shrug. "It's his own fault if he doesn't like the things I remember, though."

He smiled at her, pleased with his success. He'd been able to attack me, to hurt me in front of this crowd of children, and there had been nothing I could do about it.

I heard the mind of an adult, angry at the crowd of students who were standing around the parking lot.

"The principal's on his way to discourage loitering on school property," I said to Bella, anxious to be away from the awful mongrel who – despite what he said to Bella – hadn't stopped taunting me with his memories. "Let's get to English, Bella, so you're not involved."

"Overprotective, isn't he?" Jacob said to her. "A little trouble makes life fun. Let me guess, you're not allowed to have fun, are you?"

I glared at him, feeling a growl building in my chest, and wished I dared to fight him here.

"Shut up, Jake," Bella muttered.

"That sounds like a  _no,_ " he said with a laugh. He realized that in keeping away from her, he'd basically conceded defeat. He decided suddenly that he was not going to stop fighting for her. "Hey, if you ever feel like having a life again, you could come see me. I've still got your motorcycle in my garage."

"You were supposed to sell that. You promised Charlie that you would," she said in surprise.

"Yeah, right. Like I would do that. It belongs to you, not me. Anyway, I'll hold on to it until you want it back."

"Jake…" I heard the pain in her voice, the indecision.

Ignoring me completely now, he inched closer to her. "I think I might have been wrong before, you know, about not being able to be friends. Maybe we could manage it, on my side of the line. Come see me."

My arms were locked around Bella. I had to force myself  _not_  to crush her fragile body to me,  _not_ to fling myself at the dog,  _not_  to give in to the pain I felt. I was convinced that the reason she hadn't said yes to me yet was the dog beside us. I knew she loved him. I watched her face carefully, making myself still, my face expressionless. She had to decide.

She glanced at me, then turned to him. "I, er, don't know about that, Jake," she said to my immense relief.

I felt the pain in him at her words. He pleaded with her, "I miss you every day, Bella. It's not the same without you."

"I know and I'm sorry, Jake, I just…" she shook her head, unable to finish.

"I know," he said with a sigh. "Doesn't matter right? I guess I'll survive or something. Who needs friends?" his voice was bitter. I felt something false in his words, that they were deliberate. He would fight for Bella with whatever worked. If his pain brought her to him, he would use it.

I felt her arms twitch in his direction and tightened my hold on her.

"Okay, get to class," Mr. Greene said firmly. "Move along, Mr. Crowley."

"Get to school, Jake," Bella whispered at him.

I let go of her arms and took her hand, pulling her back behind me once again. Shielding her from human trouble, this time, as the principal pushed through the crowd to us. He glared at every student on his way and as they met his eyes, they melted back to their classes.

"I mean it," he threatened. "Detention for anyone who's still standing here when I turn around again." Suddenly, it was just Jacob, Bella, and I. Mr. Greene turned to face me.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen. Do we have a problem here."

Using my smoothest voice, I reassured him, "Not at all, Mr. Greene. We were just on our way to class."

"Excellent. I don't seem to recognize your friend." I had to hold back a growl at the term. He turned with an angry look to face the dog. "Are you a new student here?"

Glaring at Jacob, he recognized him as the source of the trouble. His motorcycle, his casual tight black tee-shirt, grease-stained, ripped jeans, along with his lack of a book bag, and the fact that he looked much too old to be hanging around a high school shouted to Mr. Greene that he didn't belong here.

"Nope," Jacob smirked at him.

"Then I suggest you remove yourself from school property at once, young man, before I call the police."

Jacob grinned now and I saw an image in his mind of Charlie coming to arrest him. I had no doubt that he would turn the trouble back on me should Charlie actually show up here. His threat from before had not been empty. Although he had been careful not to think of them, there were surely ways he could get around breaking the treaty while still managing to tell Charlie  _something_  about me.

He threw Mr. Greene a sarcastic salute, saying, "Yes, sir." Glaring at me once more, he thought,  _This isn't over, tick._  Kicking his bike to life, he spun the bike around, the tires squealing against the sidewalk and then took off, dangerously – for a human – fast.

I could hear the principal grinding his teeth as he turned back to glare at me. "Mr. Cullen, I expect you to ask your friend to refrain from trespassing again."

"He's no friend of mine, Mr. Greene," I assured him with a snarl in my voice, "but I'll pass along the warning."

Mr. Greene looked at me speculatively, considering my grades, the fact that my family had always been top of our classes with no hint of behavior issues, and my father's status as a respected doctor as well as the fact that the girl in my arms was the daughter of the Chief of Police. "I see. If you're worried about trouble, I'd be happy to – "

Seeing his intent to speak with Bella's father, I interrupted him. Charlie hated me, not Jacob. Any attempt to speak with Charlie about our confrontation that Mr. Greene made would only end in Jacob's favor, not mine.

"There's nothing to worry about, Mr. Greene. There won't be any trouble." I managed to keep the snarl out of my voice this time.

"I hope that's correct. Well, then, On to class. You, too, Miss Swan."

I nodded and pulled Bella toward our first class. She was still trembling and I could see the tears still glistening on her cheeks. I really didn't want to have to sit through class, and was sure Bella would express her anger at me eventually. I'd rather get it out of the way.

"Do you feel well enough to go to class?" I asked her, hoping she'd say no, knowing she'd say yes.

"Yes," she assured me, her voice low and husky.

The principal was following us, speculating over what the disturbance had been about. No blows had been exchanged – we hadn't even raised our voices – and the troublemaker had not been a student, so he resigned himself to the fact that he'd probably never know.

Class had already started, but Mr. Berty ignored us and continued his recitation of the poem he'd been reading. When I saw Bella yank a paper from her notebook and begin scribbling on it, I realized the conversation that was inevitable was upon me already, in the form of notes. I wished now that I had insisted on skipping class. It would have been easier to get around her anger if I could have used my words and eyes, touching her and caressing her to ease her fears.

**What happened? Tell me everything. And screw the protecting me crap, please.**

She shoved the note to me and I sighed in resignation. Quickly, I explained what she needed to know.

**Alice saw that Victoria was coming back. I took you out of town merely as a precaution – there was never a chance that she would have gotten anywhere close to you. Emmett and Jasper very nearly had her, but Victoria seems to have some instinct for evasion. She escaped right down the Quileute boundary line as if she were reading it from a map. It didn't help that Alice's abilities were nullified by the Quileutes' involvement. To be fair, the Quileutes might have had her, too, if we hadn't gotten in the way. The big grey one thought Emmett was over the line, and he got defensive. Of course Rosalie reacted to that, and everyone left the chase to protect their companions. Carlisle and Jasper got things calmed down before it got out of hand. But by then, Victoria had slipped away. That's everything.**

I saw no need to tell her that if it weren't for Alice's vision, Victoria would have killed both her and myself. Since Alice did see the future, we were able to prevent it. Indeed, simply seeing that it would happened had been enough to stop it, as we had taken immediate action to circumvent the possibility. I didn't want Bella any more afraid than she already was.

She frowned at what I wrote. I saw her face pale, heard the change in her heart and her breathing and knew I'd been right. She was afraid for more than her life – if she were afraid for her life at all. It was the involvement of those she loved that made her afraid. I saw her shudder before she erased the words and began writing once more.

**What about Charlie? She could have been after him.**

I shook my head as soon as I saw the words. I refused to let her put her life in danger to protect her father, or anyone else. That was my job! I held out a hand for the paper, but seeing my negating head shake, she continued to write.

**You can't know that she wasn't thinking that, because you weren't here. Florida was a bad idea.**

I took the paper this time, not waiting for her to hand it to me, or work herself up any further. I couldn't tell her that I had seen myself dead at Victoria's feet. If I had sent her without me, I'd have died, trying to kill Victoria. Trying to distract her line of thinking, I teased her.

**I wasn't about to send you off alone. With your luck, not even the black box would survive.**

My own safety aside, it had been hard enough letting her explore Jacksonville with her mother. Letting her fly across the country with no protection was out of the question!

I saw her frown and then grimace, annoyed, and I held back my own smile as she wrote.

**So let's say my bad luck did crash the plane. What exactly were you going to do about it?**

Well, that would depend.

**Why is the plane crashing?**

She smirked.

**The pilots are passed out drunk.**

Pleased my distraction had worked, I answered her.

**Easy. I'd fly the plane.**

She pressed her lips together and offered a different scenario.

**Both engines have exploded and we're falling in a death spiral toward the earth.**

I wanted to laugh at her now.

**I'd wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then I'd run you back to the scene of the accident, and we'd stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history.**

She gaped at me.

"What?" I whispered. Surely she knew that I could survive a fall from a plane. Carlisle had jumped off of cliffs higher than the one she'd thrown herself off of and with no water to break his fall. As if a little gravity could hurt me. If that would have worked, I wouldn't have needed to go to the Volturi. I could have just jumped out of the plane on the way there.

She shook her head at me and mouthed, "Nothing."

She erased our conversation, for which I was very glad. I really shouldn't have written that kind of thing down, but knew no one other than Bella would see it.

**You will tell me next time.**

She stared hard at me and I knew that, distract her as I might, she knew the truth as well as I did. Victoria would only stop when either she was dead, or Bella was. I had little doubt that even if she killed me first, she'd still go after Bella. I watched her eyes, could still see the tracks the tears had made down her cheeks and the moisture on her eyelashes.

 _Jacob_ wasn't _right_ , I insisted to myself.  _Bella shouldn't have to be afraid of something that will never happen._ All this had done was prove to me that, once Victoria decided to hunt her again, we'd see it and prevent it –  _this_  time, hopefully without the dogs' interference so we could finish the job.

I knew, though, that if I tried to get her out of town again she'd know why, so I nodded in defeat.

**Thanks.**

As she wrote the word, I heard Mr. Berty's suspicions of note passing and his intention to see what we'd been saying to each other. I yanked the paper from under her hand. Quickly, nearly shredding the paper in my haste, I copied down every word I'd heard him say to the class. I was done before Bella glanced up in surprise.

"Is that something you'd like to share with the class, Mr. Cullen?"

Feigning innocence, I held the paper out to him. "My notes?" I asked with an acceptable tone of confusion.

He looked over what I'd written, shocked that all he found were his own words, transcribed exactly. He handed the paper back and walked away, confused. I winked at Bella once his back was turned, holding back my laugh at her amused expression.

Throughout the day, I caught speculative glances as the students continued to obsess over my confrontation with Jacob that morning. Of course, none of their ideas were nearly as interesting as the truth, and no one guessed anywhere  _near_  that, but their ideas were annoying. They mostly assumed that Bella had been seeing him and it took all of my willpower not to punch Tyler Crowley in his smirking face whenever he glanced at me.

Finally, tired of his speculations, I turned in my seat to face him. I deliberately kept my expression calm, not letting any anger show on my face, but simply meeting his eyes was enough. I heard his heart stutter and smelled the fear induced adrenaline flood his system. Telling himself that he did  _not_  want any part of me, he turned his attention back to his notes. I faced the teacher with a satisfied smirk. Bella saw my movement and turned to me with a questioning look, but I just shook my head with a smile.

When I went to my Spanish class, Bella attended Calculus. Tuning out my own class as usual, I watched Bella through the eyes of Angela Weber, glad that she shared the class with her. The girl's mind was sweet – one of the few humans whom I didn't despise at the school. So many of them wore masks to cover their own insecurities and pettiness. Angela was a rare girl who was exactly what she appeared to be, genuine and kind.

Angela was paying attention to her boyfriend as he conjectured with other boys in the class. Through her ears, I caught the conversation that the humans had been afraid to have around me. The horrid human boy that I hated, Mike, was talking to Tyler, Angela's boyfriend, Ben, and a forth boy, Austin. They had their heads close together, whispering.

"I was sure they were going to fight. I mean, did you  _see_  the expression on Edward's face?" Austin asked them.

"I know, that Indian dude looked pissed, too," Tyler agreed.

"It almost looked like he'd been waiting here just for that. Like he  _wanted_  to fight him," Ben speculated.

"Yeah." Mike's voice was wistful.

Sitting closer to the whispering boys than Bella was, Angela could hear their conversation clearly and glanced at Bella, but her face was focused on the paper in front of her. Concentrating on her class work, she hadn't seemed to hear them.

"Wish they had," Tyler grinned, picturing us fighting. I enjoyed this image when he imagined me launching myself at Jacob.

"I know, right?" Mike's fantasized fight was  _not_  one that I enjoyed seeing and I quickly skipped out of his mind back to Angela's.

"Who do you think would have won?" Ben wondered.

"My money's on the big Indian," Austin said with a fierce grin.

Angela had been glancing back and forth between the boys and Bella and I saw her start, her attention caught. A frown creased her brows and she glanced up at the boys, but they didn't see her, too busy discussing the imagined fight.

"Yeah," Mike said again, agreeing with Austin's assessment of Jacob's prowess. "Did you see the  _size_  of that Jacob kid? I think he could take Cullen down."

Mike had always hated me and thoroughly enjoyed the thought of a boy he knew to be younger than myself kicking my ass. He didn't much like Jacob, either, but it was nothing to the way he felt about me. He figured I'd get a few good blows in, so as far as he was concerned, it would be a win-win.

I saw Bella's mouth press together in a hard line.

"I don't think so," Ben argued. "There's something about Edward. He's always so… confident. I have a feeling he can take care of himself."

"I'm with Ben," Tyler agreed, thinking of the look I'd given him just a few hours ago. "Besides, if that other kid messed Edward up, you know those big brothers of his would get involved." This thought was exciting to him. The bigger the fight, the better.

"Have you been down to La Push lately?" Mike asked, incredulous. "Lauren and I went to the beach a couple of weeks ago, and believe me, Jacob's friends are all just as big as he is." I saw in his mind several members of Jacob's pack of "brothers." The only wolf I had seen was Jacob and I was surprised at how they all resembled him.  _Huge._  I recalled the three werewolves we'd met the last time and how they'd been big guys, too. I hadn't realized it at the time, but apparently, their human form was as large to normal humans as their wolf form was to normal wolves.

"Huh," Tyler hadn't realized that Jacob would have back-up, too. "Too bad it didn't turn into anything. Guess we'll never know how it would have turned out," he said, disappointed.

Angela was looking at Bella again and I saw her eyes widen and her face pale. I was gripping the edge of my desk, resisting the urge to go grab her from the class and leave the gossiping boys with a demonstration of exactly what would have happened to the dog had I been willing to fight him. I hated seeing Bella frightened.

"It didn't look over to me," Austin argued. "Maybe we'll get to see."

"Anyone in the mood for a bet?" Mike was all but bouncing in his seat with excitement.

"Ten on Jacob," Austin said immediately.

"Ten on Cullen," Tyler said, still thinking of how I'd frightened him earlier without even frowning.

"Ten on Edward," Ben agreed.

"Jacob," Mike said with relish.

"Hey, do you guys know what it was about? That might affect the odds," Austin commented.

"I can guess," Mike said with a bitter edge to his voice. All of them turned to look at Bella, surprised to see her glaring back at them. Guiltily, they looked back to the front of the class. "I still say Jacob," Mike muttered.

As soon as my class ended, I bolted to the math building and was waiting outside of Bella's class before any of them left the room. I met each of their eyes as they walked out and saw them blanch and look away in turn. When Bella came out, I pulled her to me, not caring that anyone was watching.

"It won't come to that," I whispered in her ear. She met my eyes, her expression anxious. "I promise." I rubbed my fingers along her face, trying to smooth her worries away.  _Damn Jacob, anyway!_  Even when he wasn't here, he was upsetting her.

"It had better not," Bella said in a low, angry voice.


	9. Nature

**Nature**

When I pulled up to Newton's Outfitters after school, Mike had not yet arrived. Bella gave me a quick kiss before heading in for her afternoon shift at the camper's supply store. It amused me to think of Bella – hardly an avid camper – selling gear to the hikers in the area.

Emmett had been pestering me not to forgo hunting with him that weekend. He was anxious for bear season and I had to admit to my need for a serious hunt. I couldn't take another deer; I'd rather be thirsty. My increasing thirst didn't help my mood and I debated leaving Mike to fend for himself, unsure if I'd be able to fix his car, or if I'd destroy it completely.

Deciding that I'd put up with him so that Bella wouldn't have to, I went in to the store just minutes after Bella had put on her bright orange vest. I had to grin at the horrid uniform. With no one around, she moved with self-assurance, not displaying the clumsiness that often made me laugh. She started stocking a new delivery, carefully arranging the small boxes on the shelf, not seeing my entrance into the store. Hiding a smile, I walked down the aisle soundlessly until I stood inches from her.

She had her hair pulled back into a ponytail, exposing the soft lines of her throat. Reaching out slowly, I brushed a cold finger along the curve of her neck and she jumped, spilling an armful of boxes on the floor.

"Oh!" She spun to gape at me. I heard her heart stutter and her breathing accelerate briefly. Seeing me grinning, she scowled and turned away, muttering, "That was not funny!"

I laughed at her expression. "It was, admit it."

"With _Victoria_ after me? You think it's _funny_ to sneak up on me?" she demanded.

Immediately, I regretted my actions and pulled her into my arms. "I'm sorry," I shook my head at my insensitivity. "You just looked so cute in your uniform, I couldn't help myself." I gave her a crooked grin, hoping she'd forgive me.

She made a face that didn't quite hide the twinkle in her eyes. "Thanks, Edward, as if I didn't have enough to do, now I get your mess to clean up, too." She pulled away from me and reached for the scattered boxes.

Still feeling remorse, I snagged the boxes off the floor and had them neatly stacked on the shelves before she could touch the first one.

"What mess?" I asked innocently.

She glared around, "Edward!" she whispered in disapproval.

"Mr. Newton is going over the order form and not paying attention to anything but his numbers. You and I are the only other ones here." Raising my eyebrows suggestively at her, I leaned close to her and watched her face soften.

Slowly moving close to her lips, I changed direction at the last second and pressed my lips to her forehead, knowing that now was not a good time to get lost in her taste.

She huffed and I chuckled softly.

"Anyway, Em and I are going camping this weekend and we need to restock our supply of – what are these?" I gestured to the boxes she'd been stacking.

"Travel food packs. Dehydrated fruits and berries, nuts, jerky, that kind of thing."

"Yummy," I said, unable to hide my grimace. "Okay, so maybe not those, but…" I looked into her eyes and felt mine grow sad.

"You need to hunt." I nodded, unable to deny it. "So, go. Bag a few mountain lions for me. I'll be fine here."

"I know it," I said fiercely. "Alice is staying. She's already looked and the weather will be clear over the mountains. The bears will be hungry." I grinned in anticipation. They might not be lions, but a good grizzly – or several – would suit me fine. "You'll be safe and the hunting will be good, so we'll only be a couple of days."

"I don't need a babysitter," she muttered with a scowl.

"I'm not leaving you unprotected," I insisted, firmly.

"Wouldn't Alice see if anything was going to happen while you were gone? Isn't that what the whole Florida trip was all about?"

I sighed, gritting my teeth. "She would," I allowed. "But what good would that do if none of us were near enough to do anything about it?" I raised an eyebrow. "The future isn't fixed, Bella, and your safety is far too important to me to leave anything to chance."

She grimaced, but couldn't argue with my logic, and sighed, "Fine."

Pleased, I smiled. Hearing Mike's struggling car pulling close, I had an idea. "However, I do need some new parts for our tent. Emmett keeps mangling the stakes." I brushed a finger along her cheek, watching the swirl of blood rise to my touch before turning to select the replacements we needed. By the time Mike parked his car, I was leaning against the wall outside the store, flipping one of the long metal spikes from one hand to the other, watching it twist and twirl in the air.

"Hey, Mike," I said, casually as he eyed me, walking slower the closer he got to me.

"Edward." His greeting was strained.

"I was just dropping Bella off and thought I'd pick up some supplies while I was here. I hope these don't break like the last ones did." I grimaced with regret and watched him step back.

… _Jeez, those were solid metal… how'd he break them… and on_ what? _…_

His eyes dilated, and I could smell a surge of adrenaline. Feeling pleased with his unconscious reaction to me, I dropped the long metal spike back into the bag with the rest, and reminded him, "So, I told you I'd look at your car if you'd like. I'm not busy today. I could check it out while you're here."

"Um… sure." He swallowed hard.

"Keys?" I held out my hand. I heard them tinkling against each other due to the trembling in his hand as he held them out to me.

Rosalie had found his problem. It had been the alternator, not the cables, and I – in my overly helpful friend guise – was able to replace the malfunctioning one with the part that was already in my car, waiting. I had his car back in working condition just before the end of his shift.

"Okay, Mike, you're all set," I said as I wiped the grease off of my fingers.

"Really?" he gasped, incredulous.

"Sure. Take her for a spin. See for yourself," I smiled and tossed the keys to him.

"Want to ride with?" he offered, cautiously.

"Nah, Bella's on her way," I gestured to the door as she walked through, eyeing me in disbelief to see me chatting with Mike.

"What was wrong?" he asked slowly.

I shrugged. "You had a bad alternator. I replaced it and it runs like new again."

"What do I owe you?"

"Don't worry about it. It was fun."

"But the part…"

I backed away. "Was from the salvage yard. Practically a steal. No worries." I smiled a thin smile. "See you around," I said in parting as I strolled over to meet Bella.

I watched myself walk away through his eyes. He disliked me on principle. I'd taken the girl he'd thought would be his, and he hated how superior my family always acted. The humans didn't realize it was for their own protection that we avoided them, and were offended when we refused to attend their social functions. Now I'd shown him up by fixing his car for free.

… _really fix my car, or will it blow up as I drive down the road?_

I laughed as I opened my car door for Bella. Keeping tabs on his mind as I drove off, I continued to laugh. He was standing outside of his car, eyeing it as though he expected the car to come to life and bite him. He was still standing there when I drove outside of the range where I could hear him. I wondered if he'd hitch a ride from his parents or if he'd get brave enough to ever drive it again. I hoped he would, because it would defeat the whole purpose if he still begged rides from Bella due to his cowardice. Maybe I shouldn't have given him more reasons to fear me, but I'd had too much fun to really regret my actions. Besides, it wasn't as though I had actually threatened him.

Tired of all the time we'd spent at her house, we planned on spending the rest of the afternoon at mine. Bella watched me as I laughed, but refrained from asking for an explanation until we were nearly there.

"Okay, chuckles, what gives?"

"I fixed Mike's car, only he thinks I fixed it so that it will blow up. It works, probably better than it did when he bought it, but he's afraid to even touch it," I smirked at her.

"And why did you fix it in the first place? I was under the impression that you didn't like him."

 _Oops_. I tried to keep the guilty expression off of my face and shrugged. "Can't a guy be nice?"

"No."

"Really, Bella, I'm hurt," I put a hand over my silent heart. She narrowed her eyes at me, not going along with my playful tone. My lips continued to twitch as she crossed her arms and leaned away from me, glaring now.

"What?" I asked, innocently.

She raised an eyebrow. "Edward Cullen, you tell me the truth right now."

I sighed. "Fine. Alice saw his car breaking down completely and saw him bumming rides off of you. Now he won't need to. Happy?" I could see her considering what I'd said as she turned this confession over in her mind. She studied my face and I thought she was looking for any signs that I'd lied to her.

"Honest."

She stared at me, her eyes narrowing.

"What?" I demanded.

"I'm trying to figure out if you're really telling me the truth or if there's some ulterior let's-keep-Bella-from-the-truth-for-her-own-good motive."

I growled. "You're right, Bella. I _don't_ like him and don't want him around you. That's my only motive, alright?"

"He's a friend of mine," she said, offended.

"Uh-huh." My eyes narrowed.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Why are you fighting with me about this?" I deflected. "I fixed his car. You asked me why I did it and I told you. You're making a big deal out of nothing."

She didn't say anything for a few minutes. I watched her expression, but her maddening ability to hide her emotions kept me from seeing what she was thinking. I groaned, frustrated far too easily by her silent mind.

"Where are you and Emmett going?" she asked in a low voice.

Sudden comprehension. She wasn't mad about Mike; she was hiding that she was upset that I was going out of town. I pulled off the road, parked, and pulled her to me in seconds.

"Shh, we won't be gone long. I promise." I rubbed my fingers over her face, tracing her cheek, and cupping her chin so she would look at me.

"I know." Her voice was even. "I'm fine. Really." She reached up to touch my face. "You need to hunt. I know that. I see it in your eyes. I'll just…" She shook her head. I thought she was afraid to admit that she would miss me.

"I will miss you every second that I'm gone," I said with a bit too much intensity.

She smiled slightly and leaned toward me. My hand still cupped her face, and I pulled her to me, kissing her firmly on her mouth. I could never get enough of tasting Bella's lips. Her willing touch was incomparably sweet. She thrust her hands into my hair, and opened her mouth against mine. Though I desperately wanted to taste her tongue again, I was far too thirsty, and could taste a steady trickle of venom. I felt my willpower slipping, and had to break the kiss. I was breathing heavily, hearing her panting breaths keeping pace with mine.

When her eyes met mine, I kissed her cheek quickly, and pulled away from her. Shifting back into gear, I pulled my car back onto the road, and took her hand in mine. We finished the drive to my house in silence, the argument forgotten.

With the worry of Mike out of the way, I returned to the problem of Jacob.

My hatred for the dog only increased over the rest of the week. Due to her fear that Victoria was coming for her soon, Bella confronted Carlisle, insisting that he not delay even the few weeks until graduation. She tried pleading, reasoning, begging, shouting, and pouting, all to no avail.

"Victoria is trying to _kill_ me! Shouldn't you do everything in your power to prevent that?" Bella demanded.

"We are," Carlisle assured her, reasonably.

"No! Ugh. You're not! She can't kill me if I'm one of you."

"Bella, we can be killed, too," he told her calmly, not helping _my_ anxiety level at all.

"Exactly! Wouldn't one more vampire on your side be a good thing?"

"I appreciate your desire to help us, Bella, but right now the best way for you to do that is to act normal. Go about your life just like you were last week. Nothing has changed."

She crossed her arms and glared at him. She knew nothing had changed. Victoria had been after her before. So she was after her, still. That she had made another failed attempt didn't mean anything.

"It's only a few weeks," Esme had tried to reassure her.

"So if it's 'only a few weeks' why not do it now? What difference would it make? So long as I'm protected."

"You _are_ protected," Esme insisted.

"There are seven of us, Bella," Carlisle said. "And with Alice on our side, I don't think Victoria's going to catch us off guard. I think it's important, for Charlie's sake, that we stick with the original plan."

Esme walked over to Bella to look into her eyes as she spoke. "We'd never allow anything to happen to you, sweetheart. You know that. Please don't be anxious." She leaned in to kiss Bella on her forehead and I didn't bother holding back my smile.

I loved that my family had accepted her so completely. Though I knew the fact that Bella had saved my life had something to do with their easy acceptance of her, I also knew that they had been all too aware of my misery over the decades. Bella's love had ended those long years of loneliness, and my happiness brought the rest of my family joy, too.

Never one to pass up a chance to poke fun, Emmett teased both of us, "I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything's so much more fun with you around."

Rose and I both glared at him. I'd pay him back for _that_ later.

"I'm offended," Alice said, rolling her eyes. "You're not honestly worried about this, are you?" _After what happened last weekend, how can she think I won't know when Victoria plans to strike again?!_

Trying to find a flaw in Alice's argument, Bella pointed out, "If it's no big deal, then why did Edward drag me to Florida?"

Unwilling to lie to her – unlike me – Alice answered her with a truth that still did not give anything away. "Haven't you noticed yet, Bella, that Edward is just the teeniest bit prone to overreaction?"

"Jazz," I said in a low voice, giving my brother a significant look. Through Jasper's mind, I was aware of the emotions he felt coming off of her. Bella was terrified. It was bad enough having to see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice. To _feel_ her terror was unacceptable. Especially as there really was no reason for it! He began to use his ability to affect emotions, spreading a calm over the room.

Cursing Jacob, once again, I tried to reassure her, too. "Bella, you're not in any immediate danger. I would hear Victoria long before she got anywhere close to you, and Alice would see her before even that. Trust me, please? Just… stay human," I begged her.

Bella's eyes flashed in defiance. "I won't! Carlisle has already agreed to change me!"

"After graduation," I said, calmly.

"Assuming I even _survive_ that long! You're taking chances with my future. With my bad luck, even if Victoria doesn't come for me, I'm not likely to survive the rest of this week, much less until graduation! He should change me now," she said firmly.

"That's between you and Carlisle," I reminded her, then used the chance to urge her to agree to _my_ terms. "Of course, you know that I'm willing to make it between you and me at any time that you wish. You know my condition." I grinned broadly at her, staring into her chocolate eyes, begging her to give me the answer I wanted.

Furious, she stomped from the room, but if she was angry, at least she was no longer terrified.

I sighed heavily and shook my head, frustrated. _What would it take?_

Dropping Bella off at Charlie's so that she could eat with him, I returned my car to my house, waiting impatiently for the time when I could go back. Rose was watching her favorite car program – Top Gear – and was thinking of an upgraded part for her M3 they'd been discussing. I turned the computer on and quickly ordered the new exhaust system for her, figuring that would make us even for her helping me to fix Mike's car. It'd be here in a couple of days and she could spend the weekend installing it and tweaking the car to run at peak performance.

"Are we still a go for this weekend?" Emmett asked me. His eyes, too, showed his thirst. He hadn't needed to hunt as often as I had – he'd taken full advantage of the Alaskan dining opportunities – but he didn't enjoy deer, and had not fed as much as he could have when they'd hunted before I left with Bella for Florida. I could feel his desire for a big, really angry grizzly bear, newly awoken from its nap.

"Yup."

" _Good_. I don't think I can take another deer. We're not coming back without a couple of grizzlies a piece."

"At least," I confirmed, my venom flow increasing at just the thought. I tried to rein in my impatience; the weekend couldn't come fast enough. Finding Alice, I verified with her once more that Victoria was still going about her business away from us.

"She's so vague… She's not coming back this weekend, but… I get the feeling I'm missing something."

Suddenly anxious, I questioned her, "What do you mean? Is it a blank spot like the wolves?"

"No… it's like she's… hiding." Her eyes got far away and I saw vivid trees, a river. It could have been anywhere – or nowhere. "It feels familiar." She shook her head. "I don't know."

"But she's not coming here?" I pressed.

"Edward, you know that I can only see that if she's decided to do so. Right now her decisions are keeping her away from Forks. That's all I know." Alice shrugged.

"And Bella?"

"She'll be working in the morning, and spending the afternoon doing graduation announcements with Angela. It'll be fine." She showed me an image of myself in the mountains, stalking a bear, and my venom flowed again. "I won't be more than a few minutes away from her all weekend. Don't worry."

 _Right._ I thought to myself. _Me, not worry about Bella, with a werewolf in love with her and intent on stealing her away from me, and a vengeful vampire out to kill her and anyone who got in the way. Uh-huh._ That'll _happen._

When we pulled in to school the next day, I was pleased to see Mike driving up in his car. Laughing, I told Bella, "Looks like Mike got brave enough to trust me." She smiled at me, shaking her head before returning to chewing on her lip. I did my best to distract her all day, but every time I looked at her, she had the same anxious expression on her face. Her eyebrows creased, not quite frowning, but her mouth stayed tight and her eyes distant.

I was certain she was thinking about _him_.

Emmett had the Jeep loaded with our tents and gear Friday night. When I heard him and Jasper pull up a few hours before dawn, I pulled myself away from Bella's sleeping embrace with difficulty. I hated leaving her here! But I couldn't exactly take her with me. Wanting to leave her with a reminder of my love, I wrote a short note to leave on her pillow.

**I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart – I've left it with you.**

I stood and watched her sleep after I laid it where my head had been. The words were truer than I could admit to her. It was physically painful to turn and leap from her window.

 _Let's go!_ Emmett thought, impatiently.

 _Faster we leave, faster we return. Come on Romeo, let's hit the road already,_ Jasper pressed me, annoyed.

When Bella had been telling me how she had figured out what I was, she noted that my eye color changed along with my mood, telling me that men tended to be crabby when they were hungry. Far too smart for her own good, she figured out the difference between the black and the gold and their connection to my thirst.

"Are we a little crabby today?" I asked them, my mouth twisting at my joke.

Not bothering to answer me, Emmett gunned the engine and took off. As we drove through the mountains, my mind kept returning to Alice's vague images of Victoria. She felt that she was missing something and so did I. She'd see the same things – trees and a river – not even seeing her hunting. It felt deliberate.

Catching the thoughts of the human ahead, I warned Emmett, "Cop!" and he slowed from his break-neck speed around the mountain curve to an acceptable human crawl before we passed the speed trap. As soon as we were beyond him, Emmett pushed his speed back up to levels that would have had Bella terrified. I chuckled at this thought.

We parked the Jeep and unloaded our gear, strapping on the bulky backpacks that contained our tents – mostly props in case a human came across us – and the chairs and ground cover, fire kits and tools we liked to have handy, along with several changes of clothes. Emmett never managed to kill a bear without ruining what he was wearing in the process.

We saw another group of hikers loading up in the same parking area. I listened to their plans and we took off in the opposite direction, switching from our slow stroll to an all out race once we were beyond their senses.

Laughing and shouting at each other, Jasper was seconds behind me as I crested the ridge we were aiming for, Emmett lumbered up moments later, grumbling. We'd just begun to set up our tents when my phone rang. Alice. I felt myself grow cold and answered it before the first ring finished.

"What's wrong?" My voice was hard, worried. Terrified.

"Bella made a run for the reservation."

"What?! She was supposed to be at work right now!"

"They didn't need her this morning. I'm sorry, Edward, it was so fast I didn't see the change."

"Let me talk to her," I growled.

"Um…" her voice was hesitant.

"Alice?"

"She was too quick. She was on her way before I saw it happen. She's already crossed the border. If I go get her I'll be breaking the treaty and – "

The words that exploded from my mouth made my brothers gape at me in shock.

"She's _there?_ She's with him _now?"_

"What is it, Edward?" Jasper asked anxiously, feeling my terror and fury.

"Is it Victoria?" Emmett asked, growing even paler than usual.

I shook my head at them, concentrating on Alice.

"Yes. I drove as fast as possible, but I can smell her truck at the border. She's already beyond where I can see. Her future's gone! I can't tell when or if she'll be back or even – "

I didn't hear anything else because I hurled the phone off the mountain in my fury. It wasn't Alice's fault. I'd _known_ she was thinking of him! _How could she do this to me?_ I uprooted a tree and hurled it in the direction of the phone.

"Damn it!"

"What is going on, Edward?" Emmett demanded.

"Bella went to the reservation! She got away before Alice could stop her. Alice can't even tell _if_ she'll come back! Bella's future's a blank whenever she goes near the damn flea bag and now she's _– Argh!"_ I was pacing the clearing, flinging my arms in frustration.

"I'm sorry guys. I'm going back. Now."

"We'll come with you. Let's just grab our – " Jasper started.

"No. You stay. I'll send Carlisle back for you tomorrow. Hunt. Rip a few grizzlies to pieces for me," I snarled furiously.

I held out my hand to Emmett for the keys, snapping my fingers in impatience as he dug in his pocket. Speeding back to the Jeep, it took me less time to reach it than it had to get to the top of the mountain. I doubted I'd moved so fast since I'd run to save her from James. When I got back to the lot, it was bathed in sunlight and a family of campers was taking their sweet time unloading.

_Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!_

I paced in the trees out of their sight. They were taking far too long. I considered just running back to Forks, but there were towns in between and I couldn't take the chance that I'd be seen. Eventually, the lot emptied and I sprinted back to the Jeep, the tires squealing as I peeled off back down the mountain. I swerved around the cars, not bothering to stop at any lights or signs. Keeping my mind open for any drivers or police that would get in my way, I made it back to Forks much quicker than the hours that it had taken Emmett to reach the park.

As I neared the reservation, my own Volvo pulled behind the Jeep.

 _Pull over, Edward._ Alice thought at me. I increased my speed. _You can NOT go driving onto the reservation to drag her away, Edward! It doesn't take any ability to see the future to know that will result in an all-out war. Stop. Now._

Growling, I pulled off the road just before the border and leapt out, pacing the edge. Alice stopped my car behind the Jeep and stood watching me pace. I saw her mind searching Bella's future, but there was nothing to be seen. She looked further than the afternoon, but the only thing clear was the eventual image I'd been tormented with since the day I had saved Bella from the van.

The _only_ thing certain in her future was that one day she would die and become a vampire.

Keeping up a steady growl, punctuated by an occasional foul word, I watched Alice look at other futures. Carlisle would go pick up Emmett and Jasper the next day, as I'd promised them. I could see their eyes were a very light gold and, knowing mine were only one shade lighter than black right then, felt my irritation increase. Crabby didn't come _close_.

"I _told_ you she was in love with him! I knew it!" I spat at her.

"Just a few days ago you were willing to throw yourself into a fire so she would spend her life with Jacob. Now you're upset that she's spending an afternoon with him?"

"No, I only wanted to know if he _could_ make her happy," I corrected her with a scowl. "I don't _want_ her with him; I don't want her with anyone but _me!"_

Alice crossed her arms and glared at me. _You will_ not _use my gift like that again!_

"She says she loves me, begs me to make her a vampire, but then goes and runs off to see the wolf the _second_ I leave town!" I shook my head, unable to understand why her actions didn't match her words. "Why is she doing this, Alice?" I begged her. "If she wants to be with me, why is she running off to be with _him?!"_

Alice sighed. "She and Jacob are _friends_. You were happy when she was going to spend the day with Angela."

"That is hardly the same thing. Angela isn't dangerous."

"You can't control her and you will alienate her if you try. She _will_ choose you, but the choice has to be hers."

"And if he kills her first?"

"I don't see that happening."

"Don't tell me that, Alice!" I snarled at her. "You can't see them!"

"No, but I _can_ see her."

I glared at her, knowing that she couldn't at that moment.

Sighing, she rolled her eyes and showed me again: Bella pale and cold, her eyes a bright vivid red. "Do you think that if Jacob kills her _that_ future would be a possibility?"

"So he only mauls her to the brink of death and I change her then. Doesn't mean he won't hurt her," I insisted, stubbornly.

"Ugh!" She threw her hands into the air, exasperated with me. _I can't talk to you when you're like this. Do I have your word you won't go onto the reservation?_

"Yes," I snarled, sullenly.

 _Good. Switch cars with me._ I caught the keys she tossed at me and lobbed the Jeep's back to her.

When she drove away, I parked my car in a lot just on our side of the border and took off into the forest. I ran around the edge of the treaty line, listening out with my mind as far as I could stretch, but there was nothing to hear. The Quileute's village was too deep within their territory for me to be able to pick up any mind.

Livid, I planted myself along the road, waiting in the tree line for her truck to pass me. A couple of members of the tribe drove past me into Forks, but they had no knowledge of Bella's visit – or at least they weren't thinking of her as they passed me. I couldn't expect them to be. No one else was obsessed with Bella, just me. And Jacob. And Victoria. The worst possible dangers in her life were drawn inexorably to her, and she, the most vulnerable, frail human I'd ever met, goes and runs out to meet danger head on! She was right; it _would_ be a miracle if she survived until graduation.


	10. Switzerland

  **Switzerland**

After several of the longest hours, I finally heard her truck rumbling down the road. I watched her face carefully as she drove past me and saw her smiling slightly, her lips just curved, her eyes warm and soft. Relieved beyond words to see her safe and unharmed, I followed her back to town. I stopped to get my car and caught back up to her as she drove to Angela’s house.

I saw her shoulders hunch and watched her rearview mirror, but she refused to look back. I followed her to her friend’s house, fighting with myself the whole way.

I needed to get my anger under control. The last thing I needed to do was to yell at her in front of her friends. We were a topic of enough gossip as it was. I didn’t think I could resist flinging Mike or Tyler across the classroom if they _knew_ she’d been to see him against my wishes. I’d already committed more than enough murders for one lifetime. I ached to drive to the reservation and beat the mutt to a bloody pulp. He’d heal; I didn’t _have_ to kill him to vent my fury. No matter that I desperately wanted to.

She drove slowly to Angela’s house and when she hopped out, she ran up to the door, not looking back at me, I won the fight against my anger and did not stop. I couldn’t ever remember being this mad at her. My emotions were so out of my control I couldn’t even identify them to myself. I drove around the block and parked where I wouldn’t be seen and just sat there, gripping the wheel and breathing.

Fighting back my anger, I realized I was in pain. My chest burned like it was on fire. I was trembling from the force of it. It wasn’t just anger, or worry, or fear that I felt. I _hurt._ I felt like she’d betrayed me.

My phone rang. I glanced at it, but ignored the call. I was incapable of speaking to Alice at that moment. She didn’t call back. I seethed in silence, trying to name my emotions. Eventually, trying to distract myself – and needing to see that Bella was still there and safe – I focused in on Angela’s mind. She and Bella were in her room addressing envelopes. I watched through her eyes as she occasionally sneaked glances at Bella. She looked unhappy and upset. No longer smiling, her mouth turned down and her eyes were tight. I felt another surge of pain knowing that Jacob had made her smile and I’d made her unhappy.

My breaths were coming in gasps through my teeth as I growled. I didn’t like the idea of him making her smile, or laugh. That was _my_ job!

 _“Is something wrong?”_ Angela finally asked Bella, giving in to her curiosity. _“You seem… anxious.”_

Bella smiled at her, but it was not the smile I wanted to see. She looked guilty and unhappy still. _“Is it that obvious?”_

 _“Not really,”_ Angela lied easily. I saw Bella grimace, seeing through Angela’s lies. “ _You don’t have to talk about it unless you want to. I’ll listen if you think it will help.”_

I hoped that she would share some of her thoughts with the girl. Any insight into what she was thinking was riveting to me, and I needed to distract myself from the pain and anger I was feeling. Angela was watching Bella and saw her frown, shaking her head slightly. Then, she cocked her head to the side, a sad look on her face, her eyes far away.

 _“I’ll mind my own business,”_ Angela said, and looked away from Bella, to my frustration.

 _“No,”_ Bella surprised us both by saying. _“You’re right. I am anxious. It’s… it’s Edward.”_

I gritted my teeth. _I_ was making _her_ anxious? She didn’t know the meaning of the word!

_“What’s wrong?”_

_“Oh, he’s mad at me,”_ she said, indifferently, shrugging.

_“That’s hard to imagine. What’s he mad about?”_

Bella sighed and slumped back in her chair. _“Do you remember Jacob Black?”_

 _“Ah,”_ Angela said, understanding. She pictured our quiet confrontation that Monday morning before school and wondered if she was about to find out what it had been about.

_“Yeah.”_

_“He’s jealous.”_ Her words were a sure statement of fact. She was certain that we had been fighting over Bella, and that now Bella and I were fighting over him.

The breath whooshed out of me as I finally put a name to my emotions.

The rage and fear and _pain_ I felt were all wrapped up in a neat package of jealousy. Shaking my head, I realized I should have understood earlier. I’d felt the sting of jealousy before, when Mike had asked Bella to the dance the previous year. I’d felt jealousy when Bella said Jacob’s name at night, and whenever I thought of all that he could give to her that I couldn’t. But never before had it hit me so strong!

The reason was abruptly apparent to me. Never before had she so actively sought out another boy’s company. Certainly we’d fought over her going to visit him, but for her to go to the reservation in such a way was different. It showed me exactly how much the mutt meant to her, and the measures that she would go to spend time with him.

I did not want her to want to spend time with any boy other than me. I wanted to be the _only_ one she wanted, and I knew that she wanted him. Alice was so sure of her future with me, but today proved just how subjective those visions were. Alice’s visions of Bella’s future were as certain as Bella was. If Bella changed her mind and decided she’d rather have a future and a life where she could have a family and the sun…

I groaned and ran my hands through my hair. It was almost enough to make me change my mind and offer to turn her now, tonight, just to secure her future with me. But I knew that she had to be the one to decide. If she really wanted to spend eternity with me, she would agree to marry me. Until then, I had to be patient and do everything in my power to keep her away from the dog who was trying to steal her from me.

Bella’s mouth dropped open in shock, her eyes wide in surprise.

 _“No, not_ jealous _…”_ she trailed off, her expression confused. I was shocked. She always saw through me. How could she not see what her going to Jacob would do to me, how it would make me feel? She finally continued. _“Edward thinks Jacob is… a bad influence, I guess. Sort of… dangerous. You know how much trouble I got in a few months back… It’s all ridiculous though.”_

Angela was nearly as surprised as I was.

 _“What?”_ Bella asked.

_“Bella, I’ve seen how Jacob Black looks at you. I’d bet the real problem is jealousy.”_

Bella’s expression was one of surprised disbelief.

 _“It’s not like that with Jacob,”_ she assured her.

_“For you, maybe. But for Jacob…”_

_“Jacob knows how I feel. I’ve told him everything.”_ Bella’s voice was flat, like it had been when she was telling Charlie that I had no competition. I wondered if it were possible for her to be as blind to the truths about herself as she was to the truths about me. I knew she cared for the dog. I could see it on her face, hear it in her voice when she talked about him. I heard it in her dreams! ‘Jacob. My Jacob,’ she would say in her sleep. Of course I knew she cared for him.

_“Edward’s only human, Bella. He’s going to react like any other boy.”_

I saw Bella’s grimace and understood it, even if Angela didn’t. I _wasn’t_ human. But apparently I hadn’t forgotten how to _feel_ like one.

Although Angela was curious, she wasn’t a petty gossip like Jessica was. She was concerned for her friend. Certain that she knew what the fight Monday had been about, and certain that she knew what was bothering both me and Bella, she didn’t want to pry. She wanted to comfort her friend who was obviously upset.

She patted Bella’s hand and assured her, _“He’ll get over it.”_

 _“I hope so,”_ Bella grumbled. _“Jake’s going through kind of a tough time. He needs me.”_

 _“You and Jacob are pretty close, aren’t you?”_ She was trying to be discreet, but it took no mind reading to see that Bella cared for Jacob.

 _“Like family.”_ Bella’s unhappy voice choked.

 _“And Edward doesn’t seem to like him… That must be hard. I wonder how Ben would handle that?”_ Ben had always seemed like a decent enough kid, perhaps even worthy of a girl as sweet as Angela. They both were happy with the other and I’d never heard the kinds of fantasies playing through their minds as I did through Mike’s or Jessica’s. But I had little doubt that if Angela started spending her free time with Mike, or Tyler, or Austin, Ben would _not_ be happy about it. And _those_ boys were human, hardly dangerous.

 _“Probably just like any other boy.”_ Bella said with a twist to her mouth.

 _“Probably,”_ she agreed with a grin.

 _“I got my dorm assignment yesterday. The farthest building from campus, naturally.”_ Angela unsubtly changed the subject to a topic I was hardly interested in and I tuned them out once more.

Trying to control my feelings, I thought about what Bella had told Angela about Jacob. Just like with Charlie, she insisted that there was nothing between them other than friendship. She loved me. I was certain of it. But I was also certain that she loved him, too. She dreamed of him. She used to dream of me. I felt the sting of rejection like the fire that burned in Jacob’s bones when the wolf tried to burst forth. She refused to agree to marry me! I wanted to make her mine in a way that left no room for interpretation. So long as I was only her boyfriend, Jacob knew that he had a chance, and he would fight for her with everything he had.

The problem was, I didn’t understand why she loved me. I didn’t know _how_ to fight for her. Other than forcing her to stay away from him, what could I do to make her stay with me? I had to make her _want_ to stay with me. How did men court the women they loved in today’s era? I could shower Bella with flowers and jewelry, buy her cars and take her to exotic places, but Bella wanted none of that. She got angry when I tried to spend money on her. The only thing she said she wanted from me was for me to spend time with her – and for me to make her a monster like myself. But until she was willing to commit herself to me, I was not willing to commit her to this life. Until she was sure that she didn’t want Jacob, until that future was no longer a possibility – whether Alice could see it or not – I had to give her the option for another life. One where she’d _have_ a life.

I refused to force her into anything. The last time I had tried had nearly killed us both. No, I had to convince her to decide. I had to convince her to choose me. And that meant that I would have to court her.

If I could just figure out how.

I started my car and drove away from Angela’s house. My anger was not a good way to win her love, despite the fact that she’d risked her life while I was away just to hear it. And the fact was that I was still seething with it. I worked hard to control it. When I parked my car at my house, I found Alice waiting for me on the porch stairs.

Still furious, I sat beside her, incapable of speech, doing my best not to start ripping up trees and throwing around more furniture. Rosalie would never forgive me if I broke _another_ television.

“I’m sorry,” Alice eventually said in a small voice.

“I’m not mad at _you_ , Alice.”

“I should have seen…”

“What she hadn’t yet decided to do? You can’t.” My voice was flat. “You can’t see the wolves and you can’t see a decision that hasn’t been made. And you can’t blame yourself for the way your talent works. I don’t.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

She sighed. “Yeah, I can see _that_.”

I scowled at her, not amused.

Living without Bella was not an option. Killing the wolf was not an option. Turning her before she was fully committed to me was not an option.

“Bella will be going back home soon.”

I grunted.

“You should be there.”

I looked at her, questioning, “As angry as I am right now? I don’t want to yell at her.”

“So don’t.” She pecked me on the cheek and stood up, running a song in her mind to hide her thoughts as she went back inside.

Knowing that Alice was right as usual, and that Bella’s behavior was better addressed sooner than later, I ran back to Bella’s house and climbed into her room to wait.

Charlie was downstairs as usual, watching a game. His thoughts weren’t on the game, though. Billy had called him, told him of Bella’s visit. He was very happy and his thoughts did nothing to help my mood. He hated me and watching him imagine Bella with Jake nearly pushed me over the edge. When Bella finally came home, I breathed a sigh of relief and focused on _not_ sprinting down the stairs to crush her to me.

“Bella?” Charlie called out when she opened the door.

“Hey, Dad.” Her voice was wary, unhappy still.

“So how was your day?” he asked her, hoping she’d give him some details of her visit with the dog.

“Good.” She sighed lightly, and continued, “They didn’t need me at work, so I went down to La Push.”

“How’s Jacob?” His voice was carefully casual. He felt disappointed that she didn’t sound more excited about it. Billy had said they’d walked on the beach for hours and Jacob had been in a very good mood when she’d left.

“Good.” She didn’t elaborate, so he pressed for more information.

“You get over to the Weber’s?”

“Yup. We got all her announcements addressed.”

“That’s nice. I’m glad you spent some time with your friends today,” He told her. Meaning, he was glad she _hadn’t_ spent time with me.

“Me, too,” she responded and I felt the stab of jealous fury at the fervent tone to her voice. I was sure it was directed at me. She had to know I was there and listening. I heard her eventually say, “I’m going to go study.” Her voice was unhappy.

“See you later,” he said.

I held myself perfectly still. Alice had told me not to yell at her, so fine. I wouldn’t. I’d let her do the talking, see where that took us. She opened her door, stepped inside her room, and turned with the door, facing it as she shut it. It felt like an eternity before she turned to face me, though I doubted it was more than a few seconds.

I didn’t move when she met my eyes, not even breathing. I had caught the whiff of the dog as she entered the room and would not have been able to remain level-headed with the scent of death in my nose, on my tongue. Jacob smelled _awful_. I stared at her, waiting, my eyes hard, my muscles locked, and my mouth tight – holding back the words I wanted to say.

I saw her flinch away from me and felt even worse. She watched me, waiting for me to start yelling, I supposed, but I didn’t.

“Hi,” she said after a long moment. I knew that if I opened my mouth, I would not have any nice words to say, so I held them in, waiting for her to continue.

“Er… so, I’m still alive.”

She could _not_ be joking about that! After what I’d just been through? I was unable to hold back my growl, but clamped my teeth against the words.

“No harm done,” she said in a far too casual voice as she shrugged.

 _No big deal, just spending another day with werewolves._ I wondered if I could find her another type of monster for her to make friends with, perhaps gift her with a rabid raccoon for a pet. Knowing her, she’d probably be thrilled. She never seemed quite as happy as when she was risking her life. My own monster dead, maybe I just wasn’t dangerous enough for her anymore?

Bringing my hand to my face, I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose, wondering if vampires could get headaches.

Keeping my voice as steady as possible, I asked her, “Bella, do you have _any_ idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming after you? Do you know what that would have meant?”

She gasped, her heart stuttered and her system flooded with fear induced adrenaline. I looked at her and was glad to see fear on her face. She needed to understand how serious her actions were!

“You can’t!” she said in a loud voice. “Edward, they’d use any excuse for a fight. They’d love that. You can’t ever break the rules!”

 “Maybe they aren’t the only ones who would enjoy a fight,” I snarled. My muscles ached to be able to tear into the mutt. I wanted to break every bone in his body!

“Don’t you start,” she snapped at me. “You made the treaty – you stick to it.”

Yes, I’d made the treaty with Jacob’s grandfather – or great-grandfather – but the old chief hadn’t been trying to steal my girlfriend away from me. Even had Jacob not wanted Bella for his own, I knew how dangerous the wolves were to the humans around them. With Bella’s tendency to attract danger, it was a wonder he hadn’t accidentally mauled her already. I didn’t want her anywhere _near_ the reservation.

“If he’d hurt you – ” I would tear him to pieces if he ever caused her to so much as stub her toe.

“Enough!” she glared at me, angry. “There’s nothing to worry about. Jacob isn’t dangerous.”

I rolled my eyes. “Bella, you aren’t exactly the best judge of what is or isn’t dangerous.”

Whatever it was that made her feel safe with an angry vampire in her room extended to every portion of her life. Bella had been made for me exactly. Her scent intoxicated me, her silent mind engrossed me, her body fit against mine like we were two halves of the same mold. We were meant for each other. But the only way that had been possible was for her to lack the ability to sense danger to herself. She should have been terrified of me, and of the wolves, not running off to meet them the first chance she got.

“I know I don’t have to worry about Jake. And neither do you.” Grinding my teeth now to avoid the words I wanted to say, I felt my fists clench. Struggling to control myself, I fought against the pain her relationship with Jacob caused me. I was terrified that I would lose her to him. I needed her so badly!

As though she were suddenly able to read _my_ mind, she crossed the room and wrapped her arms around my waist. I was shocked. Her warmth soaked into me and I breathed deeply for the first time since she entered the room. I still couldn’t move, afraid that if I tried to hug her back, I would lose my grip on my self control. She pressed her body into me and laid her head against my chest.

“I’m sorry I made you anxious,” she said in a quiet, sad voice and I felt my anger slipping away. Carefully, knowing I could _not_ hug her as tightly to me as I needed to, I wrapped my arms around her, grateful that she was safe, grateful for her love.

“ _Anxious_ is a bit of an understatement,” I said quietly. “It was a very long day.”

“You weren’t supposed to know about it. I thought you’d be hunting longer.” She looked up and met my eyes. I saw her eyes widen in surprise and then she frowned at me, seeing the black color. She knew I hadn’t hunted. Not even a pack of mountain lions could have enticed me to stay away when Bella was with _him_.

“When Alice saw you disappear, I came back,” I explained.

Her frown deepened. “You shouldn’t have done that. Now you’ll have to go away again.”

“I can wait,” I insisted. A little thirst was nothing next to the pain of losing her.

“That’s ridiculous. I mean, I know she couldn’t see me with Jacob, but you should have known - ”

“But I didn’t,” I interrupted her, needing her to see the severity of her choices. “And you can’t expect me to let you – ”

“Oh, yes, I can.” It was her turn to interrupt me. “That’s exactly what I expect – ”

“This won’t happen again,” I stopped her with a furious growl.

“That’s right! Because you’re not going to overreact next time.”

“Because there isn’t going to be a next time.” _Don’t yell at her, Edward!_ I reminded myself.

“I understand when you have to leave, even if I don’t like it – ”

“That’s not the same,” I said, stung at the reminder of the fact that I _had_ left. “I’m not risking my life.”

“Neither am I,” she insisted.

“Werewolves constitute a risk.”

“I disagree.”

“I’m not negotiating this, Bella,” I said firmly.

“Neither am I,” she repeated.

I felt my fists clenching against her back and held my body rigid again.

She stared at me, speculatively. “Is this really about my safety?”

Wary, I asked, “What do you mean?”

“You aren’t… I mean, you know better than to be jealous, right?”

Knowing she saw right through me as always, I didn’t bother to refute her accusation. “Do I?”

“Be serious,” she scoffed.

“Easily – there’s nothing remotely humorous about this.” I’d rarely felt _less_ like laughing. I wanted her. I wanted her to want me, and _only_ me. There was no other woman in my life and I hated that there were any other boys in hers, especially one as dangerous as that mutt! One monster in love with her was quite enough.

“Or… is this something else altogether? Some vampires-and-werewolves-are-always-enemies nonsense? Is this just a testosterone-fueled – ”

“This is _only_ about you. All I care about is that you’re safe.” I glared at her, needing her not to dismiss my fears for her wellbeing just because I also happened to be insanely jealous of the one who was threatening her.

She sighed. “Okay. I believe that. But I want you to know something – when it comes down to all this _enemies_ nonsense, I’m out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family.” I felt my heart tighten at that word. “You are… well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence. I don’t care who’s a werewolf and who’s a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too.”

I watched her, feeling my pain ease. Her insistence that she was in love with me made my worries over losing her lessen. A little.

“Switzerland,” she said again, firmly.

Okay, fine. She wanted to be the neutral territory. All was fair in love and war, and this was both. “Bella…” I sighed, breathing her in again. Her dead smell made me want to gag and I flinched away.

“What now?”

“Well, don’t be offended, but you smell like a dog,” I told her, deciding I would use every weapon in my arsenal to secure my fragile human girl to my side. She insisted that she loved me. _Me,_ not him. Good. I’d use that, too. I grinned at her, my mouth crooked, and began to plan.


	11. Hostage Situation

**Hostage Situation**

When Bella fell asleep that night, I ran back to my house, and once again, Alice was there waiting for me, only this time, she was not sitting forlornly on the steps. As I neared the house, she barreled into me, throwing her arms around my neck and jumping up and down.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she squealed, excited. She'd seen my plans and I laughed.

I shook my head. "There's no point in trying to surprise you. So, come on. Let's go get you a new car."

"Yellow," she grinned. As if I needed reminding. I'd seen her picturing the Porsche she'd stolen in Italy ever since we got back.

"Here's the deal. You don't have to wait until Christmas, but I want something in return."

Her eyes were bright, her smile broad. "I _know._ You want me to keep her away from Jacob."

"Bella is _not_ to see the mutt again." My voice was a fierce growl. "That means twenty-four hour monitoring. When I'm out hunting, she does _not_ leave your sight. Or… at least your hearing range. I suppose she can use the bathroom without you hovering, but – "

"I've got it, Edward," she rolled her eyes at me. "Go back out next weekend and I'll kidnap her. We'll have a slumber party!" Alice had been itching to spend time with Bella without me in their way. When she'd gotten to dress her up for the prom last year, she'd hoped it would be the first of many.

"Make sure she enjoys herself," I said with a laugh. "She's probably not going to be happy about it at first, but try to coax her into having a little fun…" I trailed off thinking of Jacob and his accusations that Bella's life lacked fun.

Alice laughed, excitedly. She began picturing multiple ways to torture Bella into submission. Manicures and pedicures, playing with make-up and elaborate hair styles, watching movies and ordering take-out. _...just like a real slumber party!_

"I'm not just talking _this_ weekend, either. Whenever I'm not with her, you will be." I sighed, grinding my teeth. "She just doesn't see the danger the wolves represent! Even if Jacob manages to control himself, there's a whole _pack_ of the monsters in La Push! I've seen the memory of them in Mike's mind and even in their human form they're monsters. From what you showed me of your confrontation last weekend, they're even more out of control than the pack we met seventy years ago." My voice was rising, my fists clenching and unclenching.

"And the danger is not just from _them;_ what if Victoria were to come for her while she was with them and you wouldn't be able to see it? You wouldn't be able to see them chasing her. I know they killed Laurent, but he wasn't half as dangerous as she is. There's something about her… the way she hunts, the way she is able to avoid both them and us. I don't know, but– "

"Edward, stop freaking out." Alice stopped me, grabbing me roughly. "Bella is not going to be harmed. _None_ of us will allow it. Now come on. We've got a car to buy." She danced away from me, showing me a vision of herself and Bella, safe. The dealerships weren't open at that time of night, but we looked through all of the different options online, all available upgrades and perks. I transferred a chunk of money from my account into hers that would cover the cost, plus give her plenty of gas money.

The next day was Sunday. When Carlisle went to pick up Emmett and Jasper, he would take Alice to the closest dealership to make the necessary arrangements for herself. She showed me an image of the faces of the salesmen when she would walk in with Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper and I couldn't help but to laugh.

Though Carlisle's demeanor was calming, Emmett and Jasper's hardly were. Emmett had been nearly as big as a werewolf in life, and becoming a vampire seemed to enhance that, without actually increasing his size. Though Jasper wasn't any taller than I was, his past added to the menace that the humans perceived without understanding. She showed me the salesmen eyeing my brothers warily until discovering that it was my tiny, pixie-faced sister who was getting the brand-new car.

"Ridiculous," one of the salesmen would mutter to another in a low voice. "Buying a Porsche for an eighteen year old girl. Daddy's spoiled little brat."

Though a human wouldn't have been able to hear his low voice, she would turn to him with a broad smile, showing all of her teeth. "Oh no. I'm buying this for myself. Do you prefer cash, or should I wire the money directly from my account?"

I wished I could be there to laugh at their expressions in person, but the whole point of this was not to leave Bella unprotected and I wasn't willing to let her out of my sight with Alice out of town. Just the few hours it took to make my arrangements with her felt too long, though I knew Bella was safe at home, and Victoria was not coming back any time soon. Once everything was arranged, I sprinted back to Bella and slipped back into her sleepy embrace.

Stung by Jacob's accusations that I didn't let Bella have fun, I drove her to Sequim on Sunday to go book shopping. I hadn't wanted to return to Port Angeles and Sequim was the next nearest town with a decent book store. She wasn't willing to let me buy them for her, but she had fun picking out a few new books, and I had fun watching her choose them. As long as she was happy, so was I.

Her purchases made, we explored the small town, stopping in at the Museum and Arts Center. They had displays of photographic art, paintings, and metal sculptures, as well as a large section of items from the early 1900's. There was a 1907 REO Model B Runabout on display and I laughed at Bella's expression when I told her about learning how to drive in a car similar to the one on display.

We finished the day with dinner – she ate, I didn't – and I felt that it had been a successful day all told. We'd laughed and held hands, gone someplace new. She'd been happy and I'd enjoyed her obvious good mood.

I knew that keeping Bella away from Jacob was not the only thing I needed to do in order to win Bella's hand. The first time I'd brought her over to my house, aside from telling her of my murderous past, I had played the lullaby I'd written for her. I remembered the way she'd been moved to tears. Music had long been used by men to tell their women how they felt. For most of the past century, music had been the way I'd expressed myself, and it was only natural for me to turn to it now, when I needed it.

After school on Monday, Bella and I went to my house, ostensibly to do homework, but it was my intention to continue to court her. Rather than sit at the dining room table, I casually positioned us in the front room. As soon as my work was done, I sat at my piano and began to play for her. I played the songs I'd already recorded for her to start with, then moved to some that I knew she hadn't heard yet, before toying some more with the new one from the beach.

She lay on her stomach on the floor beside me, her knees bent and her ankles crossed while she leaned on her elbows and tried to concentrate on her homework. I watched her carefully, and saw her eyes drawn to mine time and again, unable to stop myself from smiling at her each time our eyes met. And every time, I'd hear her heart stumble and watch the blush rise anew to color her cheeks.

In a rare display of good humor, Rosalie joined us when Bella was nearly finished. I scooted over to give Rose room on the bench, and she began adding her own embellishments to the song I was playing. Though she'd never composed, and music wasn't the passion for her as it had always been for me, I'd taught her the basics many years ago, and both she and Alice had often joined me.

"Thanks for the part," she nudged me with her shoulder. I just grinned, knowing she'd spent the entire weekend playing with her M3.

"What part?" Bella asked, eyeing me curiously.

I shrugged, nonchalant. "Just an upgrade for Rosalie's car."

" _Just_ an upgrade?" Rose protested, and began describing the details of the car's new performance in comparison with the old part. Bella shook her head and bent back to her work.

I had Alice watch over the store while Bella worked on Tuesday so that I could go shopping for myself. Bella didn't want me to spend money on her, but there was nothing saying I couldn't spend _my_ money on _me_. If Alice was going to kidnap her, hold her hostage at my house, the least I could do was to provide her with a place to sleep. I spent the hours Bella was working picking out a bed for my room.

After examining many options, I was torn between two. There was a wooden one that tempted me. It was a light cherry, with carved accents and a canopy that met in the middle that reminded me of a chandelier. Although it was very nice, I found a wrought iron frame that I thought was perfect. It had intricate roses climbing up the four posters that created an interesting pattern on the headboard and above the bed in a lattice. I thought the black color of the metal would contrast nicely with the light gold of my room. The frame picked out, I sampled the mattress selection and picked out one the salesman's mind lead me toward, ignoring his spoken sales pitch. I made arrangements to have the bed delivered the next day and went back to Newton's to wait for the end of Bella's shift.

The next day, I made similar arrangements with Alice to watch Bella while I shopped. The bed had been delivered and I needed to pick out the bedding. Keeping in mind how Bella enjoyed staring into my eyes, whether they were golden or black, I picked out a set that was just a shade lighter than the gold in my room. With a black bed frame along with the gold sheets and comforter, it would be like I'd have my eyes on her while she slept. I grinned, liking the thought.

Making my purchases hadn't taken long and I had time to go home and set everything up. Esme had told the delivery men to just leave the frame and mattress in the front room. I carried them upstairs to my room, adjusting my existing furniture so that everything fit. Once set up and made, I stood back and admired the new addition. I could easily picture Bella asleep there, one arm thrown above her head, her dark hair spilling across the gold pillows.

 _She'll love it, Edward. It's truly lovely,_ Esme thought as she came to stand behind me. Esme loved the beauty of architecture and home designs and appreciated the aesthetic beauty of the choices I'd made.

"Thanks, Mom," I grinned and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek.

 _The dealership called._ Esme grinned at me and I laughed. _The Porsche will be here tomorrow. I made arrangements with the manager to have it delivered first thing in the morning._

"I'll go tell Alice."

Excited to tell Alice that her Porsche was on its way, I drove back to Newton's Outfitters. Everything was set up for my trip away. Alice would get her car and Bella had a place to sleep. Suddenly extremely thirsty, I wasn't sure I wanted to wait until the weekend. I'd already been thirsty when I'd skipped hunting over the weekend. If I left while Bella had to be in school, she'd be kept busy and safe where she wouldn't be able to contact _him_.

When I pulled up to Newton's, Alice met me at my car. "Your car will be here tomorrow," I told her with a grin. "Carlisle and Esme don't think you should drive it around town, though."

"Edward," she rolled her eyes at me, having already seen it arriving as well as the unsolicited advice they would give her. I laughed.

"Okay, then, what _else_ am I about to tell you?"

She laughed, her high voice a musical trill. "I think you should head to Canada tomorrow." I frowned, not liking the idea of being so far away. "Garibaldi Provincial Park has been having trouble with their lion population. You'll find the hunting there to be much more plentiful than if you stick to Washington state. It's not really _that_ far," she said, seeing my grimace.

"Ok, fine. I'll leave when I drop Bella off for work tomorrow. You can kidnap her for her sleepover Thursday and Friday nights. Let Em and Jazz know so they can come if they want."

"Carlisle will want to, too," she agreed, easily. "It'll be just us girls," she clapped her hands, excitedly, and took off back home. Seconds later, Bella walked out after her shift.

Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, and I took off for the Canadian mountains Thursday afternoon. We took Carlisle's Mercedes so that Alice could have my car. I could taste my venom flowing the whole way there in anticipation. It had been a while since I had gone so long without hunting _something_ , even if just a deer, and I was looking forward to thinning the overpopulated prides Garibaldi was having trouble with.

Emmett and Jasper took off together once we had our site set up while Carlisle and I went the other direction, running together easily. My mind was too full of thoughts of the prey I was searching for to really be concerned with what he was thinking. He _was_ being careful with his thoughts again, but he didn't seem angry like the previous time, so I wasn't worried. After we'd each drank a couple of lions a piece, we sat in companionable silence, looking out over the mountain range and he finally called my attention to what he'd been thinking.

_Edward, I think you're going about this the wrong way._

"What do you mean?"

_I mean you're trying to force her into a decision she doesn't want again._

"The wolves are dangerous!"

_The wolves? Or Jacob?_

I narrowed my eyes and growled, "Same thing."

 _No, it's not._ He paused before thinking, _Alice told me how you got her to go to Florida with you._

"And?"

"Think about it, Edward," he spoke aloud, wanting to make sure I heard him clearly. "Did she want to go at first?"

"No…"

"And when Charlie told her she couldn't go, what happened?"

"She…" I sighed, seeing where he was going. "She argued _for_ the trip. She said her natural teenage tendencies took over when he started bossing her around."

"Mm-hmm. The more you push her, the harder she's going to push back."

"You think I should just _let_ her go hang out around a bunch of werewolves?" I asked, furious.

"Yes. That's exactly what I think."

I stared at him, shocked.

"She's going to do it anyways."

"Alice will stop her," I growled.

"And then you will alienate your sister, too, by making Bella mad at her. Despite your best efforts, I think Bella _will_ find a way to see him. She spent months with him when you left. She doesn't see them as dangerous and…"

"She doesn't _see_ danger!"

" _And,"_ he said with force, before continuing calmly, "I have to agree."

I was sputtering in my shock and anger. _"What?_ You… They… Don't you remember last time, Carlisle? People _died!_ And there are even more of them now!"

"So to keep her away from one kind of dangerous monster, you have her spending the night in a house full of another. Don't you think that's a little hypocritical?"

"Alice won't hurt her."

"Neither will Jacob."

I ground my teeth together, unhappy.

"You aren't being fair to her. She trusts him. You need to trust _her_."

He eyed me, and I saw myself in his mind, a sullen seventeen year old, fuming under his father's censure. This image of myself only made my scowl deepen. I was a hundred years old, damn it! Yet I was and would forever be the eternal teenager. When I didn't argue any farther, he stood and ran back toward our campsite, leaving me to sit alone and think over what he'd said.

Bella didn't like double standards and, if I was being honest with myself, I _wasn't_ being fair. _I_ wouldn't hurt her, and I was certain that neither Alice nor Esme ever would either, but Rose didn't like Bella and Jasper had already attacked her once. He was here with me this time, but…

"Damn it," I grumbled to myself. The thought of her being harmed by the wolf was terrifying, but just as bad was the thought of her choosing him instead of me. Alice was certain she wouldn't, but, as Alice had stressed to me multiple times, in order for Bella to choose me, I had to give her the choice. Both Alice and Carlisle had cautioned me previously about trying to make Bella's choices for her. Every time I had tried, it had only made things worse. I wouldn't like it if she tried to force me to do something I didn't want, and it really wasn't fair for me to do it to her.

Jacob was obvious in his hatred for me and Bella had been furious with him when he'd used his memories against me. I'd just have to show her I was the better man. I'd have to give her the time to spend with her friends, to let her be with Alice without her having to kidnap Bella, to let her be with Jacob without having to sneak out, and yes, even to let her spend time with that horrid Newton boy if that was what she wanted. No matter how much I hated the idea. I heard myself growling just at the thought.

I stood and tried to clear my mind of all the anger and fear. Finding a small amount of peace, I opened my senses to the mountain air and searched for the scent of another lion. Though I had killed two already, I was still thirsty and knew it wouldn't help my emotions to thirst. When I got back to the campsite, Carlisle wordlessly handed my phone to me. Anxious, I saw that I'd missed a call from Alice, but there was a voicemail. Trying to calm the panic I felt, I accessed the message and was instantly relieved to hear the voice on the other end of the line… until I heard the words she was speaking.

"You are in trouble," Bella's lovely voice sounded in my ear. Despite the anger in her tone, I thought it was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. "Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame next to what is waiting for you at home."

I sighed in defeat when the message ended. I met Carlisle's calm eyes briefly and nodded in acknowledgment. Sensing my mood, my father and brothers left me alone while they hunted and I tried to come to terms with my all-consuming need for Bella.

Carlisle and I were watching Emmett and Jasper wrestling the next morning. Esme and Rose didn't like it when they really went at it, so they were taking advantage of the unsupervised time away from the women to have an all-out throw-down.

Jasper had been a Major in the Confederate army in his life. He'd been very young for his rank, but had a certain charisma – a charisma that had become his ability to sense and affect emotions as a vampire – that had made him a very effective officer. He'd gone from one war to another when he'd died. Maria – the vampire who had changed him – had used his training and charisma to conquer a large portion of human habitation as her own hunting grounds. He'd spent nearly a century fighting and training.

Emmett had been a big man in his life, a hunter even then. Though not exactly possessing an ability the way Alice, Jasper, and I did, his strength was enormous, well beyond the already extreme vampire strength. Emmett had always been a powerful physical competitor, but due to Jasper's military training, Emmett rarely got the upper hand on him. Time and again, Emmett went sailing through the air as Jasper outmaneuvered him easily.

I was surprised when my phone rang during their wrestling match. Alice, again.

 _Oh, no._ Somehow I knew what she was going to say.

"What is it, Alice?" I asked in dread.

"I'm so sorry, Edward!" she wailed. "That _mutt_ grabbed her between classes! I was surrounded by the humans, there was nothing I could do! I can't see him, I didn't know he was coming and neither did Bella and – "

"Alice, slow down." I heard her breathing become steadier at my intentionally calm tone. "How did he know to come? Surely he wouldn't be so stupid as to try to take her while I was there."

"Um… Well, you didn't say she couldn't _call_ him…" her voice was worried.

I sighed. "No. I didn't."

"She'd made plans to see him while you would be gone, but with me holding her hostage she wanted to call him to cancel," she explained.

"It's okay, Alice. Just… let me know when she gets back." I closed the phone and stood up. I felt my father and brother's eyes on me, but I forced myself to remain calm and walked out of the campsite.

Trying not to sulk, I hunted for yet another lion, though I was quite full by that time. Coming across the scent of, not a lion, but of a wolf, I stalked the animal. When I caught up to the small pack of predators, I jumped on the first one in fury, ripping the animal's limbs off. The others attacked me then, and I caught one as it lunged at me. I squeezed it – _hard_ – feeling the beast's bones splintering in my arms and hearing its agonized yelps. I threw its mangled body away from me and turned on the next one. One by one I slaughtered the undeserving animals, chasing down the ones that tried to escape from my rage.

When the last one was dead, I looked around in horror at the destruction I had caused. It was one thing to kill an animal for food. It was quite another to take my anger out on the beasts. I was covered in blood, my clothes shredded from the wolves' attempts to defend themselves. All around me lay their corpses, the trees were splattered in blood, the ground glistening and wet with the red liquid that I hadn't bothered drinking.

 _Ah,_ I _was_ a monster! I sat down in the middle of the scene and wrapped my arms around my knees. I'd called Jacob a dangerous monster, but I doubted he'd ever killed anything other than Laurent, and _he'd_ been trying to kill Bella at the time, so I couldn't blame Jacob for that. Breathing heavily through my clenched teeth, my body was shaking with remorse and pain. Eventually I calmed down, took off my ruined shirt and pants and set fire to them and to the wolves' corpses. I bathed in the river, washing their blood off, before I returned to the campsite. I deliberately ignored the speculative glances and thoughts of my family members at my appearance.

I shouldn't have expected Emmett to be able to hold his tongue, though. As I strode toward my tent to retrieve some new clothes, he snickered, "I could have sworn you were wearing more than your shorts when you left here!"

"Bite me, Em," I muttered.

"Emmett, Jasper, perhaps you'd like to see if we can find any more bears?" Carlisle stood, and I could hear his subtle disapproval of me in his voice.

To my relief, Emmett agreed that hadn't found all the bears he wanted. He and the others went back out to hunt, leaving me to watch the campfire and think about my actions. I couldn't deny that I was a monster, undeserving of Bella's love. But there was no way I could or would ever leave her again. Not unless she forced me to go, and even then I would never be able to go far. I needed her too badly. If I was going to keep her love and win the yes I so desperately needed, I could not afford to give in to my anger like that again.

For one thing, I felt worse now than I had before. Those wolves were not Jacob nor his pack. It wasn't their fault that two monsters were in love with an angel. If I was going to keep her love, I would have to give up my temper. Was it possible to be a good monster? I didn't know, but I would try. I resolved not to let my temper control me anymore, just as my red-eyed monster no longer did. When I got back, I would weather the storm of Bella's anger – I deserved it – and I would do everything I could to make her want me.

When Alice called that afternoon, I was relieved.

"Bella's safe," she assured me, but there was something off in her tone.

"What's the matter, then?"

"Are you okay?" she asked warily and I knew she'd seen the results of my fury being taken out on the wolves.

I sighed, ashamed. "I am now. It won't happen again."

"I hope not," she said, her voice angry. "You scared me."

"Sorry." We were silent for a moment and I thought there was something else bothering her. "What is it Alice? What happened."

"I'm not sure. Bella came home angry and upset. She didn't tell me what happened. She was _soaked_ ; she'd driven her bike here in the rain!"

I wondered if she'd fought with him. Suddenly in a better mood, I told Alice, "Well, we'll be home tonight. Try and keep her safe until then, please?"

Garibaldi's lion and bear – and wolf – population considerably thinner than it had been when we'd arrived, we packed our tents and headed back out of the mountains, returning home around midnight.


	12. Temptation

**Temptation**

When Carlisle parked his car next to the canary yellow Porsche 911 Turbo, we all stood around to stare at it in admiration. I wondered if Alice would be willing to let me drive it. I wondered if Bella would be willing to ride in it. I heard similar yearnings to drive the sleek car from all three of the minds around me. Reminding myself that there was an angel asleep in my room, I suddenly needed to see her in the beautiful bed I’d bought for her. I turned abruptly and strode from the garage and into my house, ignoring the red motorcycle parked to one side.

Rosalie was watching the television – Top Gear again, the American version this time – and I was about to pass her by when I heard her thoughts and stopped in shock. She’d spoken with Bella the previous night. At length.

She’d hated Bella from the very first day. Eventually she’d let slip to me that the reason was jealousy, at least in part. Rose was used to being wanted. When she’d been human, every male had admired her and as a vampire, her natural beauty was only enhanced.

With my insight into people’s minds, I saw that her interior didn’t really match her exterior. I supposed she was good looking enough, all of the other male minds around me certainly thought so, but her vanity and shallowness turned me off, even when I’d come across her as a human. I’d never been remotely attracted to Rosalie, and that offended her. Not that she wanted me, either, but she was used to being wanted and couldn’t understand why I didn’t.

When I fell in love with Bella, when her soft perfection had captivated me, when I’d risked everything to save her from the van in front of most of the school, Rose couldn’t see or understand why I could possibly love some plain human girl when I’d never looked upon _her_ with interest. The first time she’d even spoken to Bella hadn’t been until after she’d risked her life to save mine in Italy. Since then, Rose had tried to be nicer, but she still didn’t like Bella and went out of her way to avoid her.

Upset, I turned to face my sister, needing to know what she had said to the girl I loved. I was surprised, and actually grateful, when Rose showed me her conversation with Bella. She’d tried to convince Bella to stay human. It wasn’t that Rose hated _her_ so much, but that she hated her choices.

Unlike any of the rest of us, Bella had a choice of whether to stay human or to become a vampire. Eternity in Bella’s arms called to me, but as much as I wanted it, I needed Bella’s humanity. More than anything else, I feared what would happen to her when she became a vampire. When she became a killer. If she stayed human, she would remain pure and perfect. I would give anything to spend a human lifetime with Bella, and Rosalie knew this.

Rose had told Bella why her choices bothered her, had told Bella of her own history – in far more graphic detail than I would have liked – of what her life had been like and of how she’d become a vampire. As the most beautiful girl in town, Rosalie had gotten engaged to the most eligible bachelor in town – a man named Royce King. A man who was a human monster every bit as bad as the one who had tried to attack Bella. Where I’d been there to save Bella – the awful man had never laid a finger on my fragile human girl – Royce had nearly killed Rose. He and a group of his friends had gotten drunk and had raped and beaten her, leaving her for dead in the middle of the street.

Carlisle had scented her blood and been appalled at what he’d found. When I’d seen in her mind what had happened, I was sickened. If Rose hadn’t taken her vengeance against the men, I would’ve, despite knowing what vengeance had cost me in the past. She hadn’t drank their blood, but one by one, she’d killed the men, saving the one who was supposed to have been her husband for last. It was this tale that Rose had shared with Bella.

“Why on earth would you tell her that, Rose?” I asked, shocked.

“Because I wanted her to understand me. I was eighteen, the same age as she is now. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I was _wrong_. And she is wrong! She shouldn’t want to die! No eighteen year old can know what a difference ten, twenty years can make on their perspective. I wanted the rich man with the big house, a lavish wedding, the admiration of the men, and the jealousy of the women. But ten years down the road, none of that would have meant anything if I hadn’t had a family to share it all with – even had _he_ not been the bastard he was.

“My best friend was poor and I pitied her, but she had a husband who loved her and a beautiful baby. Her life was rich beyond my imagining. I would give anything to give Emmett a child,” her throat closed and she swallowed hard. “But I never can,” she continued in a hard voice.

My voice barely a whisper, I said, “Rose, I can never give Bella a child either. Even if she stays human.”

 _“You_ might not, but she can!”

“You want her to bring a _child_ into a house full of vampires? Are you _mad?”_

“Do you honestly believe you would ever harm any child of Bella’s? That any of us would?”

I stared at her, frowning. I knew that Rose wasn’t alone in her desire for a child. We might all be a family, but none of us could ever _have_ a family. Raising a newborn vampire was as close as any of us had ever gotten to raising a child.

“Of course you don’t,” she continued, not waiting for me to answer. “And isn’t that what you want? For Bella to have a life? A future? A family?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

She turned back to the television. “I don’t think it matters. Nothing I said really made a difference to her. Alice is just as certain as ever.”

“That’s right,” Alice agreed, coming in to the room to join us. I felt her wistful desire to take Jasper out in her new car, but she was afraid of my anger at her. “Bella is going to join us someday. Soon.” Her mind was firm with the image of us I had grown so used to, the image I both longed for and dreaded: Bella and I, hands entwined, her eyes a vivid red.

“Go take your car for a spin, Alice,” I told her with a laugh.

Before she flitted away, I saw her memory of Bella’s face when she had gotten back that afternoon. She’d been very upset. I turned and climbed the stairs to my room. When I opened the door, I was, at first, confused. I heard Bella’s heartbeat clearly in the quiet room - I’d been aware of it before I even walked into the house - but I didn’t see her. She wasn’t in the huge bed and my eyes searched for her. Finding her, I sighed, shaking my head. She’d taken a pillow and the comforter off of the bed and curled up on the couch.

_So stubborn, she wasn’t even willing to use something I’d bought for my own room!_

I picked up the sleeping girl carefully, trying not to wake her, and laid her down in the center of the bed. I stretched out beside her and she moved in her sleep, rolling away from me, then back over. I saw her open her eyes and look around, confused at her new location.

“Sorry,” I said, softly. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

I felt her body tense and waited for her just accusations. She was quiet and I felt her body relax beside me, confused when she reached for me. The rain and the shower had washed all traces of the dog off of her and I breathed in her sweet scent, grateful to be home and with her once more. She twined her hand in mine and scooted close to me. Wondering if she was really awake yet, I pulled her close to me, wrapping my arms around her.

When I felt her press her soft lips to my throat, I decided she must be awake and turned to meet her seeking lips. She worked her way up my throat, along my jaw and chin, and then I tasted her lips when her soft mouth met mine. I couldn’t help myself from chuckling at her after a moment of enjoying her taste.

“I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often,” I teased her.

“Give me a moment to work up to it,” she suggested, not done kissing me.

“I’ll wait as long as you want,” I promised in a soft whisper, my lips moving against hers. Grateful that she was in my arms, that she didn’t seem mad – though she’d had every right to be – I grabbed a handful of her hair and pressed her to me.

“Maybe in the morning,” she said around her panting breaths.

If I got to kiss her, she was welcome to yell at me in exchange any time she wanted. “Whatever you prefer.” I moved my lips from hers down to her jaw, seeking the soft spot by her ear.

“Welcome home. I’m glad you came back.”

“That’s a very good thing.”

“Mmm.”

As Bella wound her arms around my neck, I reached for her arm, tracing the soft lines of her from her elbow toward her body. I lightly rubbed my fingers across her ribs, feeling the ripple of the bones under her skin. Following her curves, I felt the dip of her waist, the rise of her hip. My lips never stopped moving against her skin, and I felt my breathing quicken as her heart began to race. The lower my hands trailed, the warmer her skin became until she was like a smoldering fire warming my cold skin.

Thoroughly enjoying the feel of her body against mine, of her curves under my hand, I continued to explore her body, reaching for the firm muscles along her thigh, and lower to her taunt calf. Determined as I was to win her love, I used my lips and hands to secure her to me, discarding all sense of caution. I pulled her tight against me, raising her leg up to rest against my hip, pressing our bodies together. Her heart was pounding against my chest, her breathing stopped, and I felt her slow burn ignite into a blazing furnace.

“Not to bring on the ire prematurely,” I whispered against the skin of her throat, “but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?” Her breathing restarted and I rolled to my back, pulling her body along with mine so that she straddled me. I held her face in my hands and resumed exploring the skin of her throat with my lips, breathing in the new scents her skin was suddenly emitting. Her breaths were loud and gasping and I felt a certain satisfaction in knowing that I could cause her body to react in such a way.

She didn’t answer, so I pressed her again. “The bed? _I_ think it’s nice.”

“It’s unnecessary,” she finally gasped.

Wanting to taste her lips again, I pulled her face back down to mine. Deciding to show her that unnecessary things could be nice, I moved her body back to the bed, slowly rolling us both over and taking full advantage of the king sized bed’s ample room. Gripping my courage – and my self control – firmly with both hands, I continued to roll us over until I covered her body with mine. Barely allowing any of my weight to touch her, I laughed, my voice low and full of satisfaction at the sounds her heart was making.

“That’s debatable. This would be difficult on a couch,” I pointed out. I tasted her mouth again, running my tongue along her soft lips. I’d never been so forward with her before and reveled in the effect I was having on her. I wished she could know the effect she was having on _me_. I loved her more than I would ever be able to say, and longed for a future with her where we could be together like a normal man and woman. Though I could feel her soft lines, the tight muscles of her body, and her warmth which was burning me through our clothes, I would give anything to be able to feel her skin pressed against mine, to lose myself in her body.

“Did you change your mind?” she asked, and I nearly lost my hold on my control.

With a sigh, I forced myself to pull away from her, moving us so that we lay beside each other once more.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Bella.” I knew we could never join our bodies together, no matter how much I wished we could. At least, not while she was human. Far too vividly, I could recall the memories I’d seen in the mind of a predator I’d killed. The monster had preyed on human women, taking them before taking their lives. Though there had been no love involved in _his_ actions, I was terrified that if I tried to make love to the girl in my arms, she would meet the same pain-filled end as the vampire’s human victims had. I would not risk Bella’s life, just for the pleasure of experiencing the physical expression of her love.

“I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you don’t seem to like. Don’t get carried away.”

“Too late,” she grumbled. “And I like the bed,” she added, shyly.

I grinned. “Good. I do, too.”

“But I still think it’s unnecessary. If we’re not going to get carried away, what’s the point?”

Oh, she was ruthless! If she’d had any idea how hard she was to resist, I knew I’d be doomed. Trying to deny this girl anything she wanted was like trying to resist the tides of the ocean: pointless and ultimately doomed to failure.

“For the hundredth time, Bella – it’s too dangerous.”

“I like danger.”

“I know,” I growled, angry.

“I’ll tell you what’s dangerous,” she continued. “I’m going to spontaneously combust one of these days – and you’ll have no one but yourself to blame.”

Before I could succumb to her, I pushed her away from me.

“What are you doing?” she protested, holding me tighter.

I decided to tease her about the affect I had on her, instead of admit to the affect she had on me. “Protecting you from combustion. If this is too much for you…”

“I can handle it,” she said, firmly, and squirmed back into my embrace.

I held back my chuckle, but couldn’t stop my grin. “I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression. I didn’t mean to make you unhappy. That wasn’t nice.”

“Actually, it was very, very nice.”

I breathed deeply, telling myself that I could _not_ kiss her again. Not unless I wanted her to end up a vampire that very night.

“Aren’t you tired? I should let you sleep.”

“No, I’m not. I don’t mind if you want to give me the wrong impression again.”

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard.

“That’s probably a bad idea. You’re not the only one who gets carried away.”

“Yes, I am,” she said, sourly.

I laughed at her. “You have no idea, Bella. It doesn’t help that you are so eager to undermine my self-control, either.”

“I’m not going to apologize for that,” she said, her voice smug.

Feeling remorse, I begged her, “Can _I_ apologize?”

“For what?” she asked, startled.

“You were angry with me, remember?”

“Oh, that.” Her voice didn’t betray any emotion this time and I almost regretted bringing it up, but it needed to be said.

“I’m sorry. I was wrong. It’s much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely _here_.” I felt my arms tighten around her convulsively at the thought of her being with _him_. “I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I don’t think I’ll go so far again. It’s not worth it.”

“Didn’t you find any mountain lions?”

“Yes, I did, actually.” Carlisle and I had drank an entire pride, not to mention the pack of wolves I’d slaughtered, but I wasn’t about to admit _that_ to her. “Still not worth the anxiety. I’m sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea.”

“Yes,” she agreed, her voice hard.

“I won’t do it again,” I promised to her and myself.

“Okay,” she said, forgiving me far too easily. “But slumber parties do have their advantages…” Bella snuggled closer to me and I felt her lips pressing against my shoulder. “ _You_ can hold me hostage any time you want.”

“Mmm,” I sighed in pleasure, liking that idea. “I may take you up on that.”

“So is it my turn now?” she asked me.

“Your turn?”

“To apologize.”

“What do you have to apologize for?” I was confused. I knew she always blamed herself, but surely she couldn’t blame herself for my actions this time.

“Aren’t you mad at me?” she asked, sounding surprised.

“No.” Anything she had done had been because of my actions. How could I blame her for my insecurities, for my monstrosity, for my overwhelming need for her?

“Didn’t you see Alice when you got home?” she persisted.

“Yes – why?”

“Are you going to take her Porsche back?”

“Of course not. It was a gift.” I’d owed Alice the car for saving our lives in Italy, and then she had done everything I’d asked her to this past week. It wasn’t her fault that the mutt had outmaneuvered us. And besides, it looked like it had ended up in my favor since Bella had left him angrily.

“Don’t you want to know what I did?” she sounded even more confused now. I guessed she had a right to be, given my outrage the last time, but I needed her to understand that she was free to choose for herself. Although I wanted her to be mine, Jacob was right and I didn’t own her.

“I’m always interested in everything you do – but you don’t have to tell me unless you want to.” I shrugged, trying to convince her.

“But I went to La Push.”

“I know.”

“And I ditched school.” As though _that_ would bother me.

“So did I.”

She was silent for a few minutes and I felt her hands caressing my face. I lay quietly beside her, happy to feel her gentle touch.

“Where did all this tolerance come from?” she finally asked.

I sighed. “I decided that you were right. My problem before was more about my…” insecurities? Insane jealousy? Hatred for the monster who wanted to steal my reason for living away from me? “…prejudice against werewolves than anything else. I’m going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say it’s safe, then I’ll believe you.”

“Wow.”

“And… most importantly… I’m not willing to let this drive a wedge between us.” Carlisle had been right. The harder I pushed her, the harder she would push back. I couldn’t allow her to choose him just because I was clinging to her too tightly. She rested her head on my chest and we lay in comfortable silence for a moment.

She hadn’t said anything about her visit, though, and I really needed to know what had happened to make her so angry. I decided to probe for information.

“So, did you make plans to go back to La Push again soon?”

She was silent and tense against me. I wasn’t going to have Alice kidnap her again! I’d already promised that.

I assured her quickly, “Just so that I can make my own plans. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hurry back because I’m sitting around waiting for you.”

“No.” Her voice was thick and harsh, bitter. “I don’t have any plans to go back.”

“Oh. You don’t have to do that for me.” Was this reverse psychology again? Why was I now trying to get her to go see him?

In a quiet, sad voice, she whispered, “I don’t think I’m welcome anymore.”

I was burning in curiosity at this point, wishing desperately that I could read her mind, or that Alice could just see the wolves! He’d upset her somehow, I was certain that they’d fought.

Gently, I teased, “Did you run over someone’s cat?”

“No.” I heard her breathing, gathering her courage to tell me what they’d fought over. “I thought Jacob would have realized… I didn’t think it would surprise him.”

Her vague answers were agonizing! Would have realized _what?_ Her feelings for me, for him? She’d indicated before that she’d made her position clear to him, but he was persistent. I waited, silently begging her not to leave me wondering.

“He wasn’t expecting… that it was so soon,” she finally finished.

“Ah,” I said, comprehending. She’d already told him of her plans to become a vampire. Apparently he hadn’t realized she planned on having Carlisle change her shortly after graduation, just a few weeks from now.

“He said he’d rather see me dead,” she choked out, her voice breaking.

Instant fury! How _dare_ the dog! He’d rather she be _dead_ than with me? He didn’t love her! If he did, he’d want what was best for her, what made her happy. If she’d told me that she wanted him, I would be devastated, but I would let her go.

I ached at the pain she felt at the harsh rejection of the boy who’d been her friend. I pulled her to me, gently hugging her against my chest.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“I thought you’d be glad,” she whispered back.

“Glad over something that’s hurt you? I don’t think so.” _I_ loved her. I never wanted her to hurt, to be unhappy. I struggled against the desire to go visit upon him the fate I’d inflicted upon the wolf pack in Canada. I wanted to run to the reservation and end his life for daring to cause my angel any kind of pain. I’d known he would hurt her, but I thought it would be physically, not emotionally.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, seeing through me as always.

“It’s nothing,” I evaded.

“You can tell me.”

I hesitated. I didn’t want to hurt her now. “It might make you angry,” I confessed.

“I still want to know.”

Unable to resist, I sighed and gave her what she wanted. “I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I _want_ to.”

She laughed, sourly. “I guess it’s a good thing you’ve got so much self-control.”

“I could slip,” I offered.

“If you’re going to have a lapse in control, I can think of a better place for it,” she teased, reaching up to try to kiss me again.

I held her back, certain I _would_ lapse if I let her get carried away again. “Must I always be the responsible one?” I sighed.

“No,” she teased and I could hear her grinning. “Let me be in charge of responsibility for a few minutes… or hours.”

If she only knew how tempted I was. If I only _could_ do what she wanted, what we both wanted.

“Goodnight, Bella,” I insisted with a groan.

“Wait – there was something else I wanted to ask you about.”

“What’s that?”

“I was talking to Rosalie last night…”

I tensed, fearing her next line of questioning. “Yes. She was thinking about that when I got in. She gave you quite a lot to consider, didn’t she?”

“She told me a little bit… about the time your family lived in Denali.”

Not where I had expected her to be going, I was confused and paused briefly before prompting her to continue. “Yes?”

“She mentioned something about a bunch of female vampires… and you.” I felt the heat of her blush, but wasn’t sure how to respond.

Tanya had been relentless and even more insulted than Rosalie when I hadn’t been interested. We’d lived with them for several very long years. A succubus in every sense of the word, she’d been a female version of the predator I’d killed in Seattle. She would seduce men, enjoying their eager ways, and before ending the tryst she would end their lives. She and her sisters eventually got tired of killing the men they loved and devoted themselves to the vegetarian lifestyle that we also lived, but that didn’t stop them from seducing nearly every male they came across.

“Don’t worry,” she said after a long moment. “She told me you didn’t… show any preference. But I was just wondering, you know, if any of _them_ had. Shown a preference for you, I mean.”

I grimaced, embarrassed, but also slightly amused by her jealousy.

“Which one?” she pressed me, seeing through my silence. “Or was there more than one?”

I didn’t think she’d like the details of our stay with them. Although Tanya had been the most… persistent, Irina and Kate had lived the same way Tanya did, and it was in their natures to be seductive. They couldn’t have stopped taunting me if they’d wanted to, and it had grown even worse when they’d discovered my ability to read their minds. I was constantly bombarded with their mental images of us together, but for them I was merely another conquest. All the more challenging because I resisted, but of no emotional interest to any of them.

Well, I admitted to myself, perhaps that hadn’t been true. Tanya was tired of being alone. If I’d have been willing, she might have allowed herself to become attached to me. Though I hadn’t realized what I’d been looking for – Charlie hadn’t even been born yet, much less Bella – I knew that I was _not_ looking for so casual an encounter with someone so impure.

After my years as a murderer, I’d been convinced that I would forever be alone. No woman that I would have loved, _could_ have loved me. Tanya and her sisters had each killed more men than I had, and they had not restricted themselves to criminals. They enjoyed making men fall in love with them, though they’d had no such feelings for the men, themselves. If I _had_ given in, I’d been certain that it would have meant more to me than to them, and I hadn’t been willing to place myself at their mercy in such a way.

“Alice will tell me. I’ll go ask her right now,” she teased, and I felt her start to squirm away.

I tightened my hold on her, not letting her move from me at all.

“It’s late. Besides, I think Alice stepped out…” She’d been eager to try out the Porsche and she and Jasper had taken off as soon as I’d headed upstairs.

“It’s bad. It’s really bad, isn’t it.” Bella’s heart began to race in panic and I shook my head over her jealousy. Although I’d fought my own jealousy over Jacob and Mike, they were boys who were here now, and at least with Jacob, a boy whom she cared about. Except for the week I’d spent away when Bella had first moved to town, I hadn’t seen Tanya in years and had never been interested in her.

“Calm down, Bella.” I kissed her on her nose. “You’re being absurd,” I tried to reassure her.

“Am I? Then why won’t you tell me?” she demanded.

“Because there’s nothing to tell. You’re blowing this wildly out of proportion.”

“Which one?” she demanded.

“Tanya expressed a little interest,” I admitted with a sigh. “I let her know, in a very courteous, gentlemanly fashion, that I did not return that interest. End of story.”

“Tell me something – what does Tanya look like?”

I rolled my eyes. “Just like the rest of us – white skin, gold eyes.”

“And, of course, extraordinarily beautiful.”

I shrugged. To me, Bella was extraordinarily beautiful, but I doubted she’d believe me if I told her so. “I suppose, to human eyes. You know what though?” I asked, wanting to reassure her.

“What,” she pouted.

I pressed my lips against her soft ear, feeling her hair against my cheek. “I prefer brunettes.”

“She’s a blonde. That figures.”

“Strawberry blonde – not at all my type.” I wanted to laugh. No, Tanya had not been my type at all. Bella, on the other hand, was _exactly_ my type and I moved my lips from her ear along her cheek and down along her throat, feeling her pulse race under my lips. I moved back to her ear and once more down her throat, kissing her again and again, listening to her heart and her breathing.

Eventually, she sighed, “I guess that’s okay, then.”

“Hmm. You’re quite adorable when you’re jealous. It’s surprisingly enjoyable.” Unlike my own monstrous reactions when the green-eyed monster had control of me.

“It’s late,” I said, my voice reassuring and full of love. “Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love.”

She sighed and snuggled closer to me as I hummed the lullaby I’d written for her and eventually, she fell back asleep.

“Edward,” she sighed as she dreamed.


	13. Target

**Target**

In the morning, I watched Bella eating cereal while Alice regaled her with stories about her Porsche. She and Jasper had taken turns driving it last night. They’d ended up almost to Alaska before turning back. Bella looked disapproving when Alice had spoken of the car, but hadn’t commented.

“So when do I get to take it out for a test drive? I know Bella’s just itching to go for a ride,” I winked at Bella, laughing at her aghast expression. I saw her shudder and laughed harder. Bella didn’t share my family’s obsession with all things fast.

“Rose and Emmett are taking their turn now,” Alice laughed. “From the look on her face, I have a feeling Rosalie might be replacing her M3 soon.” We all laughed at that.

Carlisle joined us in the kitchen. “Good morning, kids. What’s the plan for today?”

“I don’t know. Alice never did get to take Bella on her shopping trip. Feel like taking a ride to Portland?” I asked her.

“That depends. Whose car are we taking?”

“Mine, of course,” Alice trilled.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass,” Bella said, sourly.

“Oh, come on,” Alice pleaded. “You need a new dress for graduation, and we didn’t get to go to Olympia yesterday.”

“Another time,” Bella said, firmly.

“You should probably be getting Bella home soon, then” I prompted Alice.

“Can I take the Porsche?”

Bella glared at her.

"Fine. I'll get you in it one of these days. Kidnapping you was fun, Bella! Let's do it again."

After I watched Alice drive away – using my Volvo, not the Porsche – I turned around and the red motorcycle caught my eye. Cocking my head, I stared at it for a few minutes, trying to picture Bella on it. The only image I could come up with was from Jacob's memory. Bella, flying down a dirt road with her hair blowing out behind her, seeing her spill over the side, smashing her head against a rock, ending up with blood streaming down her face. I shuddered in horror.

_How did she manage to not kill herself on this thing? She didn't even wear a helmet!_

It made me upset that she found pleasure in doing something so dangerous with Jacob, but she wouldn't even ride in the Porsche with Alice or myself driving. We'd never let her be hurt! She wasn't afraid to run with me anymore. I wondered if the motorcycle was for her like running was for me. I turned and went to my computer to do some research. _I_ wanted a bike.

Grinning, I imagined riding down the road on a bike of my own, a powerful engine beneath me, the road flying away behind me, my angel flying beside me. If she enjoyed riding with Jacob, I saw no reason why she shouldn't enjoy riding with me, too, and that would give her one less reason to go see him. They'd fought and, although I had little doubt she'd be able to forgive him, I wasn't sure he'd be willing to stay friends with her knowing that she was to become a vampire in a few weeks. If he didn't, she'd need a new riding partner, and who better than me?

Knowing it would be less suspicious for me to wait a while longer before going to Bella's house, I spent my time choosing a motorcycle. After researching various brands, I finally decided on a sleek silver Ducati Superbike that was available in a dealership in Tacoma. With the trouble Seattle was currently having with the rogue vampire, I didn't want to go _there_ , but Tacoma was south of Seattle and far enough away that I didn't think there should be any problems.

I took off running. If I bought the bike I was planning on, I had no need for my car; I'd just ride the bike back home. It was only about a hundred miles between the two towns as the crow flies – or the vampire runs – and I'd be able to make it in well under an hour. The dealership opened at nine and I strolled onto the showroom floor just after they opened.

A couple of large guys were lounging by the counter, flirting with the girl at the register.

 _Whoa, he is_ not _real, no way…_

_…this kid want?…_

_Probably doesn't even have his driver's license…_

I sighed, annoyed with the humans.

Vampires had a certain beauty, like a carnivorous flower, and our prey was attracted to us. Usually the humans' initial attraction to us would change into fear, once they became aware of the menace that surrounded us, but I'd lost a lot of my menace when I'd fallen in love with Bella. In trying to be more human for her, the predator in me was no longer as evident. Human women were attracted to me without any fear and the men no longer saw me as threatening. It was very annoying. Apparently I looked far too happy after spending the night with my love asleep in my arms.

Spying a wall full of riding gear, I changed my direction, and inspected the helmets. The memory of Bella's bloody face was vivid in my mind.

"Need help finding anything?" _Like the way to my house, perhaps?_

"Yes, thank you." Annoyed, I smiled at her, showing my teeth in an attempt to convey some sense of the danger she was in. "First, I need your best helmet."

She completely missed my attempted warning. The blood rushed to her face and her heart began to race. _What I wouldn't give to be the motorcycle he rides…_

I looked away from her, frustrated and embarrassed. "Well, I don't think you'd want that one," she gestured to the one in my hands. "This is the women's section."

"The helmet's not for me." I nearly laughed at her disappointment when I explained, "It's for my girlfriend."

 _Of_ course _he's taken. Why do some girls get all the luck? I bet she's a whore!_ Her thoughts turned vicious and my expression was instantly furious. I finally saw fear on her face, and tried to control myself.

"Oh, okay, well a lot of our women like the Scorpion. It comes in pink and black or purple and white with a rose design. It's only a hundred – "

"I need your best helmet," I said coldly, "not your prettiest. Helmets are for safety, not show."

"Okay… Here," she handed me a black one. "The Bell is a premium helmet. Very sporty. It's got a Velocity ventilation system, polycarbonate shell and a drop-down sun visor. It's lightweight and comfortable." I moved the face shield up and inspected the inside while she spoke. _For the price, you can't beat it._

"And if price wasn't an issue?"

_Good looking and rich besides? Groan!_

"Then you'll want the Schuberth." She took the black one back and handed me a red one. "You said you want the best, well, this is it. They've developed an anti-roll-off system so that, as long as the helmet is strapped on correctly, it can't be dislodged. The tilt angle prevents the helmet from coming into contact with the chin or throat in case of a crash. It's aerodynamic, so it has zero upward lift, giving her much more stability. The resin shell is low weight and exceptionally sturdy."

I nodded, "Perfect. What about other safety gear?"

"Well, nobody likes road rash. I'd suggest a riding jacket." Seeing the image of torn skin with gravel ground into the wound, I flinched. The jackets Bella wore would not provide any protection to her soft skin.

Not bothering with showing me the cheaper options this time, she pointed out a sleek black leather jacket. "The Camaris is a three layer jacket. The outer layer is coated so that it can be worn inside another jacket, too. Highly ventilated, with a full-length back protector, shoulder and elbow protectors, it's soft, breathable, and durable."

I nodded, smiling. I couldn't wait to see Bella dressed in the snug leather jacket. "Good. Now, let's talk bikes."

Her jaw dropped and her eyes grew wide. _He's buying her a bike, too?_

"I'm interested in the Ducati Superbike."

"That one's got more power than most women like, but – "

"No," I stopped her, unable to hold back my grin of excitement. "The bike's for _me_."

Walking toward the rows of gleaming motorcycles, she said, "Ah, well, then I think you'll be pleased with the performance ratings. We've got the 848 and 1098 models. I'd go with the 848, personally. The 1098 may be faster in a straight line, but how many of those do we have around here? The 848 is more maneuverable and agile, and lighter weight, besides."

"I've done my research and was planning on the 848 already."

"Good! Okay, well, we have red, black or – "

"Silver."

"I assume you'd like a test ride?"

I was feeling anxious to get back to Forks. "No. Just draw up whatever paperwork you need. I'd like to be on the road as soon as possible."

"I'll need your driver's license and insurance, and we'll need to check your credit, of course. We've got financing available – "

"That's not necessary. I'll be paying in full, today. Here," I handed her my license and insurance information.

She hesitated. _Is this kid for real, or what?_

"I'm in a bit of a hurry," I prompted.

"You'll probably need a helmet for yourself, as well…" I laughed and shook my head.

A very annoying thirty minutes later – the girl's mind was unpleasant to listen to - I sped off the lot on my new bike, the jacket and helmet in a bag, slung over my shoulder. The bike promised a top speed of 166 mph and I coaxed it close to the promised maximum. Not bothering to obey any traffic laws, I kept my mind open for any police who might care. Blowing by cars, swerving in and out of traffic, and taking the hairpin turns at speeds that made the cars around me blow their horns – though I was long gone by the time they hit their horns - I could feel the incredulous fury of the drivers, and their certainty that they'd be seeing me at the bottom of a ravine on the next turn. Less than three hours after I'd left, I turned onto my driveway.

When I parked my new bike beside Bella's red Honda, Jasper and Emmett were in the garage, gaping at me. I was laughing with delight as I climbed off the new addition. That had been _fun!_

"What is _with_ you, Edward? First a Porsche, now a Ducati? Are you planning on buying everyone a new vehicle, cause there's this Hummer I was looking at – "

"The bike's for me, Em. I owed Alice the Porsche for saving Bella's life." I shoved him, playfully. "You've got your own money, bro. You want a new truck, go get one."

Jasper didn't comment, too busy staring wistfully at the sleek machine.

"I'm going to Bella's," I said, to no one's surprise, and stowed the helmet and jacket between the bikes before climbing into the Volvo and taking off, still grinning from the fast ride on my new bike. I understood why Bella liked it so much and couldn't wait to go riding with her.

My happy grin evaporated the moment I opened my door at Charlie's house. There was an unfamiliar scent surrounding the house. A very distinct scent. A vampire had visited. I felt a wave of horror flow over me and sprinted to the door. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I heard Bella's distinct heartbeat. Making sure to knock lightly in order to avoid tearing the door from it's frame, I heard Charlie tell Bella that I was at the door.

At any other time, the happy spring in her step as she hurried to greet me would have delighted me, as would the wide smile that was on her lovely face when she pulled the door open. Her smile faltered as she took in my anxious expression.

"Edward? What – " her voice was sharp, but I stopped her by placing a finger on her lips.

 “Give me two seconds. Don’t move,” I told her firmly, hoping that she would listen for once. Moving faster than either Bella or Charlie’s eyes could follow, I sprinted inside the house, following the scent upstairs to my love’s room. The odor permeated the room. They’d been through her things! I could smell their scent on her bedding, her hamper, her dresser. It was strong, very recent. Only a few hours old.

I left Bella’s room and followed the scent across the hall. They’d gone into Charlie’s room, and had stood by the bed while he’d lay there sleeping!

Terror flooding me, I sprinted back downstairs, afraid to have even left her for the brief second it had taken me to survey their rooms. I pulled her slight body against mine, holding her firmly, afraid that she might somehow be stolen right from my arms by the intruder. Glancing all around the house, breathing deeply, I dragged her into the kitchen, ignoring Charlie as thoroughly as he was ignoring me. I couldn’t ignore the scent, though. They had been in the living room, too.

I pulled Bella to the back of the kitchen by the laundry room, knowing the sounds of the running machine would mask my soft words. Charlie wouldn’t even be able to tell I _was_ talking, much less what I was saying. I heard his mind debating between giving us privacy and joining us to discuss Jacob. The wolf had called, begging Charlie to apologize for him for his insensitive remarks to Bella the previous day. Charlie was upset because Bella had refused to call him back. I was too stressed to even feel pleasure at her rejection of the dog.

Holding Bella close against my body, my eyes continuing to rake over the room, I put my mouth close to her ear and explained, “Someone’s been here.”

Misunderstanding my meaning, she protested, “I swear that no werewolves – ”

“Not one of them,” I shook my head, knowing my fear made my expression fierce. “One of us.”

Bella paled, her eyes widening as she took in my meaning.

“Victoria?”

“It’s not a scent I recognize.”

“One of the Volturi.”

“Probably.” There were guard members I had not met, though I had touched most of their minds… those who had been home at the time.

“When?”

“That’s why I think it must have been them – it wasn’t long ago, early this morning while Charlie was sleeping. And whoever it was didn’t touch him, so there must have been another purpose.”

“Looking for me,” she stated.

I couldn’t move. I wanted to grab her in my arms and run away with her, but where could we run to? And even if I did, what good would that do unless I planned on just going ahead and turning her or keeping her hostage in my house until she agreed to marry me? I wanted to find whoever had dared to intrude into her room and rip them to shreds so thoroughly we wouldn’t be able to find enough pieces large enough to bother burning them.

“What are you two hissing about in here?” Charlie asked. In our distress, our volume had risen from the low whisper I’d started with. He could hear the stress in our conversation, whether he could make out the words or not. Looking at my face, he could see I was obviously upset, and then he saw the expression on Bella’s face.

He grinned, thinking we were fighting over Jacob. “If you two are having a fight… well, don’t let me interrupt.” Far too cheerful, he placed the empty bowl he’d been bringing into the kitchen in the sink and strolled back to the living room. I couldn’t control my fear. Being in this house, where an unknown monster had been only hours ago made me feel vulnerable, exposed. Bella was _not_ safe here, and that was unacceptable.

“Let’s go,” I said, my voice fierce.

“But Charlie!” Her eyes were wide and scared. I knew that she’d never be okay with any plan that left her father exposed to danger, though I thought he was probably safe. If the vampire had intended to harm him, they would have done so last night. No, it was Bella who was in danger – as usual. To keep her safe, though, I’d need to protect her father, too. And if the vampire came back, there really was no guarantee that they wouldn’t kill him then.

I had my phone out and to my ear within seconds. “Emmett, we’ve got a problem.”

He laughed, “When _don’t_ you have a problem, bro?”

“Listen! A vampire broke into Bella’s house last night.”

Suddenly serious, he asked tensely, “Charlie?”

“He’s fine. The intruder – I don’t know who it was. It wasn’t Victoria or anyone else I recognized. I’m not sure what they were after, but their scent was all _over_ Bella’s room. And they went into Charlie’s while he was there _sleeping!_ I’m bringing her home with me, but I can’t leave Charlie here unprotected. What if they come back? Bella would never forgive me if he got hurt.”

“Damn! You weren’t kidding when you called her a danger magnet. Don’t worry, Jazz and I are on our way. We’ll keep him safe and see if we can’t catch this intruder besides. It’s been too long since I’ve had a good fight,” he finished in a harsh growl. Emmett may love to joke, but I could always count on him. Nobody would get away with threatening _his_ family.

“Thanks, Em.” I hung up and grabbed Bella’s hand. We’d spoken so fast I doubted she’d caught a word I’d said, but I needed to get her to safety _now_. Hauling her behind me I explained in a low whisper, “Emmett and Jasper are on their way. They’ll sweep the woods. Charlie is fine.”

She resisted my pull on her hand only until she heard my reassuring words. Thankfully, she didn’t fight me as I dragged her out of her house and into my car. Charlie’s good mood evaporated seeing the fear on Bella’s face and my fierce expression. “Hey - !” he shouted, afraid for his daughter, but I couldn’t explain to him and wasn’t willing to take the time to come up with a story. I had to get Bella to my house where she’d be safe. As I sped home, I wondered if I would ever let her leave again. She did say _I_ could hold her hostage.

“Where are we going?” she asked, her voice still a fear-filled whisper.

“We’re going to talk to Alice.”

“You think maybe she saw something?”

No, I didn’t. I’d have known if she’d seen anything, because she would have said something last night or this morning. If she knew Charlie was in danger, she wouldn’t have gone cruising in her new car; she would have done everything in her power to protect him. I was sure she hadn’t seen anything, but I needed to find out why.

“Maybe,” I lied, not wanting her more frightened than she was already.

When we got back to my house, I parked and was at Bella’s side instantly, pulling her into the protection of my embrace briefly before hurrying her into the house. My family was waiting in the livingroom, unmoving, their thoughts a mixture of fear, outrage, confusion, and fury. Rose was outraged that Bella had brought danger into her family _again_ and I wanted to shout at her, but I had bigger things to worry about than her petty concerns. Esme was furious that anyone dared threaten any member of her family – and she thought of Bella as her daughter already. Carlisle was confused. He couldn’t understand why a vampire would visit Bella’s house at all, and to leave Charlie alive was inexplicable.

Alice was afraid. She had hated not being able to see the wolves, but had accepted it. But this was a vampire who had threatened someone she was watching. Why hadn’t she seen and what more was she missing?

“What happened?” I flung at her, furiously. Reminding myself of my resolve not to give in to my temper again, I balled my hands into fists to avoid throwing more furniture around.

Defensive, Alice said, “I have no idea. I didn’t see anything,” her voice was flat, angry at my tone.

“How is that _possible_?”

“Edward,” Bella rebuked me.

“It’s not an exact science, Edward,” Carlisle chided. _You can’t blame her for the way her talent works._

“He was in her _room_ , Alice. He could have still been there – waiting for her.” I could see it all too clearly. The red eyes, glowing in the dim light of her room. The brief second of fear she’d feel at seeing an intruder. The soft scream she’d manage before he took her life. Me, on the other side of the state, unable to do _anything_ about it, not even aware it had happened!

“I would have seen that,” she asserted.

“Really? You’re sure?” I flung my hands up, needing _some_ kind of outlet for my fear and anger.

“You’ve already got me watching the Volturi’s decisions, watching for Victoria’s return, watching Bella’s every step. You want to add another? Do I have to watch Charlie, or Bella’s room, or the house, or the whole street, too? Edward, if I try to do too much, things are going to start slipping through the cracks.” She was defensive, upset that she was missing things, and angry that I was accusing her for something that wasn’t really her fault.

“It looks like they already are,” I snapped at her.

“She was never in any danger. There was nothing to see.” _You aren’t being fair, and you aren’t thinking clearly. Bella wasn’t_ there _! What did you expect me to see? Nothing happened!_

“If you’re watching Italy, why didn’t you see them send – ”

“I don’t think it’s them,” Alice cut me off. “I would have seen that.”

I looked at her with surprise. I’d been certain it was the Volturi.

“Who else would leave Charlie alive?” I insisted. I regretted my words instantly when Bella shuddered against me.

“I don’t know,” Alice admitted.

“Helpful,” I said, scornfully.

“Stop it, Edward,” Bella’s voice was low, disapproving.

I turned to glare at her, saw my own expression reflected in her large, chocolate eyes. One step away from being completely out of control with fear and anger, I was dangerous, furious at my family for something that wasn’t their fault. I stared at the girl I loved for a moment and remembered that I was supposed to be controlling my anger. Collecting myself, I took a deep breath and smoothed the muscles in my face.

“You’re right, Bella. I’m sorry,” I said in a calm voice. Turning to Alice, I begged her forgiveness, too. “Forgive me, Alice. I shouldn’t be taking this out on you. That was inexcusable.”

“I understand. I’m not happy about it either.” _You’re scared, Edward. We all know that. None of us want Bella or her father harmed, but that’s the point. They weren’t. There was nothing_ to _see._

I agreed with her assessment. “Okay, let’s look at this logically. What are the possibilities?”

I saw the effect my words and tone had on my family immediately. We were all vampires, but _I_ was the monster, yet again. I’d called the wolves volatile, but _I_ was the one with the temper, who broke furniture, who slaughtered helpless animals out of anger. They were right to be wary of me. Needing the strength of my fragile human girl, I pulled Bella to the couch with me, holding her hand in both of mine. Esme sat beside us and put her arm around Bella.

“Victoria?” Carlisle asked me. _We all know she will come back for Bella, if it’s not the Volturi, who else would it be?_

“No. I didn’t know the scent. He might have been from the Volturi, someone I’ve never met…”

Alice shook her head, certain that, though she didn’t know who it was, she knew who it _wasn’t._ “Aro hasn’t asked anyone to look for her yet. I _will_ see that. I’m waiting for it.”

Aware of how specific she’d been, I looked sharply at Alice saying, “You’re watching for an official command.”

“You think someone’s acting on their own? Why?”

Remembering his threat to me, I suggested, “Caius’s idea.” In Volterra, before we left, Caius had told me that they would check to make certain I’d changed her. And if they found that I had not, he had told me silently that I would watch while they tortured Bella, killing her eventually, but not me. No, me they would keep alive for a very long time. I felt icy fear shoot through me.

Unaware of Caius’s silent threat to me, Alice suggested, “Or Jane’s… They both have the resources to send an unfamiliar face…”

I scowled, remembering Jane’s fury at being unable to hurt my angel, though she had tried over and over again. Her mind had stabbed furiously at the girl who was somehow able to block all of our minds.

“And the motivation,” I agreed.

Esme disagreed. “It doesn’t make sense, though. If whoever it was meant to wait for Bella, Alice would have seen that. He – or she – had no intention of hurting Bella. Or Charlie, for that matter.” I felt Bella flinch at the mention of harm to her father. But not herself, no. Bella never feared for her own life, just for those she loved.

Esme stroked Bella’s hair, saying softly, “It’s going to be fine, Bella.”

“What was the point, then?” Carlisle questioned Esme.

“Checking to see if I’m still human?”

Carlisle agreed, “Possible.”

I didn’t trust myself to speak, feeling a growl in my chest. I was afraid that Bella was about to argue once more for the immediate change of her human status.

Rosalie hadn’t joined in the conversation, her attention focused on listening for the return of Emmett. I could feel her worry at losing her mate. Knowing how eager he was for a fight, she was terrified that he and Jasper would be successful in tracking down the intruder. If the vampire had not been acting alone, or had a dangerous unknown ability, Emmett could be killed.

Alice was focused on the members of the Volturi she had not been watching before. Demetri was not going to be looking for me. I couldn’t be sure if this was because they already knew where I was though. She skipped to Alec, whose only plans for the immediate future included a human he was intending to have replace Gianna – the human woman who had wanted to join the Volturi. Apparently Felix had finally killed her. Jane was… I winced, feeling the memory of her burning thoughts. She was planning on using her talent to cause pain, but I was unable to see who she was hurting. Caius’s plans didn’t involve us, but that was all I could be sure of.

Rose breathed out a sigh of relief and I turned from focusing on Alice’s visions to listening for my brothers. Emmett and Jasper had returned home. Their thoughts were unhappy at their lack of success.

Emmett charged into the room, Jasper a step behind him.

“Long gone, hours ago. The trail went East, then South, and disappeared on a side road. Had a car waiting.”

I grimaced. “That’s bad luck. If he’d gone west… well, it would be nice for those dogs to make themselves useful,” I grumbled.

“Neither of us recognized him,” Jasper said to Carlisle. “But here, maybe you know the scent.” He had broken off a piece of a fern that the intruder had brushed against, leaving his scent. Carlisle examined the frond, smelling the faint odor, committing it to memory.

“No. Not familiar. No one I’ve ever met.” I was disappointed. As the oldest member of our family – by several centuries – Carlisle had met many more vampires than we had.

“Perhaps we’re looking at this the wrong way,” Esme speculated. “Maybe it’s a coincidence…” She broke off at our incredulous glares. “I don’t mean a coincidence that a stranger happened to pick Bella’s house to visit at random. I meant that maybe someone was just curious. Our scent is all around her. Was he wondering what draws us there?”

I considered that possibility. My scent was a well-worn path between my house and Charlie’s. Every night I would drop my car off and run back to spend the night in her arms. Her own scent permeated the house, unique and compelling. It was possible, I conceded, but it didn’t feel right.

“Why wouldn’t he just come here then? If he was curious?” Emmett demanded. _When James’s coven had been curious about us, they came directly to see us. Why visit a human? And why leave Charlie alive? That part just doesn’t make sense to me at all._

“You would,” Esme smiled at Emmett, proud of her forthright son. “The rest of us aren’t always so direct. Our family is very large – he or she might be frightened. But Charlie wasn’t harmed. This doesn’t have to be an enemy.”

My family thought over Esme’s suggestion.

 _Laurent had been curious of us in the beginning, Edward,_ Carlisle reminded me. _If James had not caught Bella’s scent, we could have made friends with them. Laurent went to Denali with just that intention._

Yes. And then decided he preferred human blood to animal and nearly killed Bella at Victoria’s request. I had to hold back my growl.

 _Why would a passerby have had a car waiting to drive him away?_ Jasper thought. _They would not have smelled us from a moving vehicle. Why stop just to go into town just to visit a house? They weren’t hunting. Not for food at any rate._

Alice’s thoughts were along the same lines as Jasper’s. “I don’t think so. The timing of it was too perfect… This visitor was so careful to make no contact. Almost like he or she knew that I would see…”

“He could have other reasons for not making contact,” Esme suggested.

I agreed with Alice. There was something deliberate and menacing about this. Taunting. They would have smelled me, just as I smelled them.

“Does it really matter who it was?” Bella demanded, as I knew she would, using the visit as an excuse to push for her immediate change. “Just the chance that someone _was_ looking for me… isn’t that reason enough? We shouldn’t wait for graduation.”

“No, Bella,” I protested. “It’s not that bad. If you’re really in danger, we’ll know.”

Carlisle shot a look at me. _Are you certain, son?_

Low and fast, so that she wouldn’t hear, I insisted, “I will not have her forced into it.”

Looking at Bella, he persuaded her, “Think of Charlie. Think of how it would hurt him if you disappeared.”

“I _am_ thinking of Charlie!” she protested. “He’s the one I’m worried about! What if my little guest had happened to be thirsty last night? As long as I’m around Charlie, he’s a target, too. If anything happened to him, it would be all my fault!”

Not willing to let her take the blame, Esme said gently, “Hardly, Bella. And nothing will happen to Charlie. We’re just going to have to be more careful,” Esme stroked her hair again.

“ _More_ careful?” Bella protested, aghast.

“It’s going to be fine, Bella,” Alice insisted. She showed me with Bella sleeping in my arms, Charlie the next morning on a boat, fishing. They would be safe, this night, at least. Beyond that, she wouldn’t look, knowing how easily things could change. I squeezed Bella’s hand gently, trying to reassure her.

I could tell Bella was upset. She worried her lip and never stopped frowning. Nothing I said would convince her that she was safe, so I stopped trying, but she could see that we were not going to give in, so stopped insisting on her immediate change.

My family made plans to keep up a patrol of the forest and streets around Bella’s house. Aside from the fact that they loved her, too, they knew – from experience – how it would kill me to lose her. They would risk their lives to protect me, and the girl I loved, just as I would risk mine for them if the need arose.

I tried to reassure her of her protected status on the way back to her house. “You won’t be alone for a second. Someone will always be there. Emmett, Alice, Jasper…”

“This is ridiculous,” she stopped me with a sigh. “They’ll get so bored, they’ll have to kill me themselves, just for something to do.”

Not pleased, I glared at her, “Hilarious, Bella.” Emmett was looking forward to catching the intruder single-handedly. He’d played his role as Designated Watch Vampire before, and took it up again with enthusiasm. I could hear him prowling the woods when we arrived. Unwilling to let us drive up to an ambush, he’d sprinted there as we left and had already canvassed the area.

_All clear, kid. No new scents. I’ve been all over the forest in a ten-mile radius and the only one I found was from yesterday. Bella’s safe… for now._

Bella was nervous and I couldn’t stop my own anxiety when we got back. Charlie didn’t help matters. Sensing the tension, he was certain we were still fighting and didn’t bother to hide his smirk. It took all of my concentration not to growl at him.

While Bella cooked, I kept my senses open, watching out of the kitchen window, jumping at every sound I caught from the forest. I watched through Emmett’s eyes as he patrolled the forest around the house. The rain was making me nervous, every movement catching my attention. It was a good thing I didn’t sleep. I’d never be able to relax enough to surrender to unconsciousness.

Charlie was watching me out of the corner of his eye. He saw how jumpy I was and wondered briefly if I was doing drugs. I caught myself clenching and unclenching my fists and folded my arms across my chest, forcing myself to remain motionless. The last thing I needed was for Charlie to demand a drug test.

 _Calm down, Edward,_ Jasper thought at me. _I can feel your tension out here. Bella needs you to be confident. Your fear is only making hers worse. Breathe, little brother. Em and I are not going to leave your side. Alice has been searching for every possible threat, but she says none of your known enemies are planning anything._

“Excuse me,” I said quickly and bolted out of the kitchen. Finding Jasper by the front door, I confronted him, “What do you mean my _known_ enemies?”

“Alice can’t watch someone she doesn’t know. Unless they affect her directly, or someone she is actively watching, she doesn’t see specific people.”

“No, of course not.” I murmured, understanding all too well how Alice’s visions worked. Until whoever it was decided to hurt Bella, she wouldn’t be able to see them. She didn’t know this vampire, so there was no connection for her to use. She had no way to watch an unplanned future of a vampire she didn’t know.

“Who could it be, Jazz? This isn’t like the south with territory disputes. Other than Victoria, I don’t _have_ any enemies. Not even the Volturi, really. Graduation is weeks away. I know Aro’s mind and he’s patient. Even though Caius wants her changed quickly, a few weeks won’t make a difference to him. This feels… wrong. Deliberate. Someone is playing with the holes in Alice’s visions. And if it’s not Aro, who else could know enough of how her talent works?”

My thoughts were racing in a panicked circle. I was so frustrated! The answer seemed so obvious, I felt like it was staring me in the face, but I was blind to it. I felt Jasper using his talent on me. Slowly, my anxiety ebbed, my panicked thoughts calmed, and my sense of reason returned. As his ability restored my calm, I breathed deeply, felt my clenched muscles loosen. After a few minutes, I sighed.

“Thanks, Jazz.” He nodded.

“I don’t know who it is, Edward.” He shook his head. “None of this makes sense. But until it’s over, we’ll keep Bella safe. Like you said, graduation is a couple of weeks away. Then Carlisle can change her and she’ll be safe.”

That didn’t help my mood at all. I returned to the kitchen, needing to see Bella’s face.

 “Jacob called again,” Charlie told Bella. She was serving them the meal she’d cooked. Her face betrayed no emotion at those words.

“Is that a fact?” she asked, her voice hard.

“Don’t be petty, Bella. He sounded really low.”

“Is Jacob paying you for all the P.R., or are you a volunteer?”

Grumbling low under his breath, Charlie continued, “Fine way to treat your friends. Maybe I can get Billy to drag him over here, _force_ them to make up.” Glancing at me, he thought, _If_ he’d _ever leave long enough…_

Not likely.

Usually when they ate, I would pretend to watch the television, not hover in the kitchen, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. Even having her in my sight wasn’t good enough; I wanted her safe in my arms.

When Charlie pointedly said to me, “So I guess we’ll see you tomorrow, Edward. Goodnight.” I knew I had to leave. I drove my car around the block, parking where Charlie wouldn’t be able to see me when he left to go fishing the next morning and returned to stand guard with Jasper and Emmett. There was no way I was leaving. I climbed into Bella’s room as soon as I heard her tell her father goodnight.

She was scared and worried. I could see it in her eyes, her face. Jasper remained close, standing just outside of her window, close enough to use his talent to help me calm Bella. We lay on her small bed, sharing a pillow – she seemed to be one short– and I wrapped her in my arms, feeling her relax into sleep while I sang to her softly. Wanting her dreams to be good ones, I kept singing to her all night, humming her lullaby.

While she slept, I listened to her talking. She murmured my name over and over. In a much better mood when she woke than I was in when she fell asleep, I was even able to smile calmly when she told me she was going to call Jacob.

“I knew you’d forgive him. Holding grudges is not one of your many talents,” I teased her. She’d always been so quick to forgive me for my worst sins, I’d never doubted she would forgive the dog. She rolled her eyes at me, but rewarded my acceptance with a warm smile.

“Hello?”

I could hear the misery in his voice when he answered and actually felt bad for him… briefly.

 “Jacob?”

“Bella!” His voice was relieved and he immediately began to apologize for telling her he would rather see her dead than like me.  “Oh, Bella, I’m so sorry! I swear I didn’t mean it. I was just being stupid. I was angry – but that’s no excuse. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever said in my life and I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me, please? Please. Lifetime of servitude up for grabs – all you have to do is forgive me,” he begged her.

“I’m not mad. You’re forgiven.”

“Thank you,” he said, relieved. “I can’t believe I was such a jerk.”

Well, that made _one_ of us.

“Don’t worry about that – I’m used to it,” she said. Jacob laughed and I tried to hold back my smirk.

“Come down to see me,” he pleaded with her and my smirk disappeared. “I want to make it up to you.”

“How?”

“Anything you want. Cliff diving,” he offered with a laugh. I watched her face carefully, not wanting to see the memory of her face when she’d thrown herself to her death. Grey, tight with grief, her eyes shadowed with sleeplessness, and her cheeks hollow, her face then had been the picture of misery. Her beautiful face now was nothing like it had been then. She was pink, her eyes were bright, and her lips curved in a smile. I kept this image firm in my mind.

“Oh, _there’s_ a brilliant idea.”

“I’ll keep you safe. No matter what you want to do.” I gritted my teeth, but kept my face expressionless. It was _my_ job to keep her safe, not his, but Bella was watching me and I didn’t want her to see any anger.

“Not right now,” she demurred, to my relief.

“ _He’s_ not thrilled with me, is he?” he asked, his voice guilty.

“That’s not the problem. There’s… well, there’s this other problem that’s slightly more worrisome than a bratty werewolf…” Though she tried to hide her fear with her joke, it was as obvious to him as it was to me and he instantly responded.

“What’s wrong?” His voice was sharp, worried.

“Um.” She hesitated, glancing at me again. I remembered my wish the previous day that the intruder had traveled in the direction of the reservation so that the dogs could make themselves useful and had an idea. If I couldn’t bring the vampire to the wolf, I might be able to bring the wolf to the vampire.

I held out my hand for the phone. She hesitated, eyeing me.

“Bella?” Jacob demanded. I sighed and held my hand closer to her, silently urging her to trust me.

“Do you mind speaking to Edward?” she offered. “He wants to talk to you.”

He didn’t respond right away. Finally he agreed. “Okay. This should be interesting.”

Keeping my voice carefully calm, smooth, I greeted him, “Hello, Jacob.”

“So what’s this big problem that’s worrying Bella?”

I ignored the sarcasm in his voice and answered him calmly. “Someone was here – not a scent I know. Has your pack come across anything new?”

“Someone was _there_? In her house? A _vampire_? No,” he said, his voice disgusted. “We haven’t found anything. Bloodsucker, you’d better bring her here! If there’s a rogue leech after her, the reservation is the safest place for her!”

I nodded, figuring he’d see himself as more qualified than us. The werewolves considered killing vampires as their _duty_.

“Here’s the crux, Jacob. I won’t be letting Bella out of my sight till I get this taken care of. It’s nothing personal – ”

“You may be able to control yourself, but you can’t protect her _and_ go looking for the leech at the same time! My pack can handle the intruder. Bring her here and he won’t know where to find her. She’ll be safer and you can look for them knowing she’s safe, while my pack looks, too.”

I was _not_ okay with that idea. Even just driving my car around the block to park out of Charlie’s sight had been agonizing, and Emmett had been standing guard over her at the time.

“You may be right – ” I started, about to argue against the idea, but he heard my negation in my tone and interrupted me again.

“Listen, I know you don’t like the idea. But my pack can do what you can’t. There are… more than enough of us now. You made the treaty with my ancestors, but times have changed. _Bella_ has changed things. When your family was chasing Victoria along our border, well, if we could have coordinated, we’d have killed her then. We should coordinate next time.”

I remembered the big grey wolf stopping Emmett just as he was about to catch her. If he could have continued onto their territory, if the wolves had _joined_ in the chase instead of gotten in the way…

“That’s an interesting suggestion. We’re quite willing to renegotiate. If Sam is amenable.”

“Sam was furious that Victoria got away,” he admitted quietly. “Bella and Charlie are like family to us. Their safety is at least as important to us as it is to you. Come and speak with Sam, see if you can… negotiate some new lines.” He paused and said, “It’s time to put old prejudices aside.”

“Thank you,” I said, surprised at his willingness.

“Why don’t you bring Bella over now. Sam can come over here and you can bring along anyone you feel the need to and you can all talk to him, then.” I was shocked. They wanted us to come onto their territory? I’d thought we would meet in a neutral location.

Trusting my family more than the dogs, I hesitated, “I’d planned to go alone, actually, and leave her with the others.”

“Okay, I get it, you don’t trust us. I suppose I can’t blame you after the other weekend. But do you honestly think any vampire will get far enough onto our territory to get to her? We patrol regularly and we would rip them apart long before they could threaten her.”

I still didn’t like the idea, no matter how much sense is suggestion made. “I’ll try to consider it objectively. As objectively as I’m capable of.” Where Bella’s safety was concerned, being objective wasn’t easy and I didn’t trust him not try to do something to take her from me.

“How about this, then. I’ll come to you. I could come to Bella’s and learn the intruder’s scent. That way my pack will know exactly who we’re watching for. I’ll talk to Sam, see if I can get him to come to you, too.”

Emmett and Jasper were still patrolling the forest. I had told Bella I’d trust her judgment and she trusted Jacob. One werewolf here, rather than the whole pack on their territory.

Deciding I could handle that, I agreed. “That’s not a half-bad idea. When?”

“Now, unless you need to talk to the other bloodsuckers first?”

“No, that’s fine. I’d like a chance to follow the trail personally, anyway.”

“Cool. I can be there in ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes,” I agreed.

“Thanks, blo – Edward. Can I talk to Bella again?”

“Certainly,” I allowed and held the phone back to Bella. She’d chewed her nails ragged watching me talk to him. She reached for the phone slowly, a look of annoyed confusion on her face. Why should she be annoyed? We had been polite to each other. Wasn’t that what she wanted?

“What was that all about?” she asked him.

“A truce, I think. Hey, do me a favor. Try to convince your bloodsucker that the safest place for you to be – especially when he leaves – is on the reservation. We’re well able to handle anything.”

“Is that what you were trying to sell him?” she sounded surprised.

“Yes. It makes sense. Charlie’s probably better off here, too. As much as possible.”

“Get Billy on it. What else?”

“Just rearranging some boundaries, so we can catch anyone who gets too near Forks. I’m not sure if Sam will go for it, but until he comes around, I’ll keep an eye on things.”

“What do you mean, ‘keep an eye on things’?” Her eyes narrowed.

“I mean that if you see a wolf running around your house, don’t shoot at it.” I had to hold back my laugh.

“Of course not. You really shouldn’t do anything… risky, though.” Typical Bella, worried about everyone’s safety, when she’s the only one in danger. I shook my head.

“Don’t be stupid,” he said with a snort. “I can take care of myself.”

She sighed.

“I also tried to convince him to let you visit. He’s prejudiced, so don’t let him give you any crap about safety. He knows as well as I do that you’d be safe here.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she promised. As if she hadn’t been trying to convince me of that very thing for months now. I scowled.

“See you in a few,” Jacob said.

“You’re coming up?”

“Yeah. I’m going to get the scent of your visitor so we can track him if he comes back.”

“Jake, I really don’t like the idea of you tracking – ”

“Oh, _please,_ Bella,” he cut her off with a laugh, and hung up.


	14. Scent

**Author's note**

So I'm posting early this week for a couple of reasons.

First an announcement: I'm changing the name of my Eclipse story. I know, I know, don't roll your eyes. When I first named this fic, I liked it, but as time passed, I just grew to hate it. So, fun story: My hubby likes all things spicy, so for our anniversary a few years back, I went to one of those ice cream places where they mix it for you and had them make him some ice cream with his favorite hot sauce. It was very strange, like your mouth was burning, but freezing, too. It actually tasted good and he started putting hot sauce on all of his ice cream, hah! Anyway, I called it Frozen Fire. I thought, the Fire and Ice poem, Bella freezing on the mountainside, the burning vamps, the way he is ice cold and she is hot, so! **Frozen Fire** it is! 

Second announcement _(and the real reason I'm posting today):_ Y'all know I'm working on writing Dawn, right? That hasn't changed, I still am. I had an idea for how to start it which kind of grew out of hand. Er, the story got away from me. That is to say, my muse would not stop! I was looking for a beginning, and got inspired by Isle Esme. Like, why would the Cullens buy an island of all things? So I wrote the chapter where they did! But then it didn't seem like a good enough beginning and I realized, I was looking for a beginning, why not go back to _the beginning?!_ So I did. The next thing I knew, I had written his transformation, his rebellion, and… well, lots more.

I realized, this isn't a beginning to a book, it's its own book! So, I'm posting it as such. Yay! New story! Posting starting today! (cause I can't stand waiting anymore heh) Hoorah!

 **Eternal Teenager** is going to cover the most formative of Edward's early years and will center around him, Carlisle, and Esme. It's a combination of fluffy fun and dark seriousness and can be read separately, alongside, before, or after any point in the series so far. It's canon compliant and foreshadows a lot of the Saga. I'd love for you to check it out!

Thanks for reading!

~L

* * *

**Scent**

"I'm going to step out for a minute," I told Bella.

"What? Why?" she demanded, with fear in her eyes.

"Jacob is coming over to learn the intruder's scent. I shouldn't be here when he is."

"That's ridiculous," she muttered, disapproving.

"It's not that I feel any personal antagonism toward him, Bella, it's just easier for both of us. I won't be far away. You'll be safe," I assured her.

"I'm not worried about _that_ ," she said, frowning at me.

No, she wouldn't be. She trusted the wolf, unlike me. And then when I came back, I'd have to _smell_ him. At that thought, an idea occurred to me. If I had to smell him on her, I should return the favor. With a smile, I pulled her into my embrace. Happy for any excuse to touch her, I buried my face in her hair, breathing in her unsullied sweet scent, then breathed out slowly, blowing my own scent into her hair and onto her neck, feeling her shiver against me as I did so. I very much liked the smell of us mingled together.

"I'll be right back," I told her. Unable to keep my face straight, I gave in to my laughter.

"What's so funny?" she asked, a suspicious look on her face.

Unable to explain, I just laughed again and shook my head, trotting out of the house and into the forest.

"Em," I called in a low voice, and he was at my side in seconds.

"Sup?"

"Jacob Black is on his way over here to learn the intruder's scent. I want to follow the trail while he's here. Where did you end up losing his scent?" He eyed me, surprised that not only was I allowing the dog to come to Bella's house, but that I was actually grinning about it.

_Whose idea was this?_

Losing my grin, my mouth twisted. "His. But he's got a point. If the wolves know what the intruder smells like, it will be easier for them to track. If they're willing to attack my enemy, I'm not going to stop them."

_Even if that means Bella spending time with the wolf?_

I growled, not happy about that part, but I had promised her I would try to trust her judgment.

"I can't stop her from seeing him. If I allow it… well, it makes her happy with _me_. I'm not going to do anything that will drive her away from me and keeping her from him is doing just that."

_I wouldn't like it if Rose wanted to spend time with some other guy._

"I never said I liked it," I snapped.

"Easy, kid. I agree with you. You're stuck with two bad choices. You've tried one way, and it didn't work. So now you're walking the higher road." He shrugged. "It's a tough choice, but I think it's the right one."

"Thanks," I said, sourly. "Now will you tell me where you lost the trail already?"

He told me and I followed the fading scent into the forest, running quickly to the dirt road where the parked car had waited to take the intruder away. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but it was better to be doing _something_ than to sit around listening to Bella talk to the dog I hated. When I found the place Emmett had indicated, I looked up and down the short road. There really was no reason for the car to have been parked there other than to wait for him.

It felt less and less like a curious passerby. This vampire had parked here specifically to go visit Bella's house. Frustrated, I ran back to her, uncomfortable to be even the few miles away.

Emmett's reassuring presence was waiting in the tree line when I got back. "Find anything new?"

"Not really."

We stood together surveying the forest and I listened to Emmett's thoughts.

… _remember Victoria's scent from the field and whoever was here was definitely not her._ I nodded, agreeing. I'd chased her scent through Phoenix. My memory of her was more recent and this vampire was not her. Nor was it any other vampire I'd come across during my hunt for her. That I didn't recognize them wasn't significant. There were plenty of vampires I'd never met. We were far more numerous than any human would like to think.

_You're certain it had nothing to do with the Volturi?_

I shrugged and shook my head.

_Have any other enemies I don't know about? Kill off someone else's mate while you were off tracking Victoria?_

"Not funny, Em." He didn't know that I _had_ killed while I was tracking her, but the Seattle predator I'd killed had been a loner. This couldn't be retribution for _him._ And the other one – the newborn in Phoenix – had told me he'd never met another vampire.

My mind kept returning to the only two threats I could think of. The Volturi and Victoria. Alice was certain it was neither of them, but we'd both felt like we were missing something where Victoria was concerned for some time. She kept constant watch on Victoria, but trees and a river were all Alice would really see.

Out of sight of the road, I watched the mail truck pull up to the box in front of Charlie's house. The driver struggled to stuff a large envelope into the box. When they pulled away, I went to retrieve the mail. I didn't even feel she'd be safe walking to the end of her driveway at that point. I grinned when I saw the return address on the label.

Figuring Jacob had had enough time alone with my girlfriend, more than long enough to scent the intruder, I climbed the steps and listened to the sound of water draining. Jacob's mind was full of insecurity and doubt. Finally, I heard him speak to her.

"Can I ask you something, Bella?"

She sighed.

"What's it like – having a werewolf for a best friend?"

Bella laughed at this question.

 _Great, she's laughing at me, now._ "Does it creep you out?"

"No. When the werewolf is being nice, it's the best."

"Thanks, Bella." I felt the relief and playfulness in his mind and was aware that he'd pulled her into a hug. I clenched my fists and scowled, but the hug was very brief before I caught disgust in his mind.

"Ugh. Your hair stinks worse than your room."

This made me laugh in delight.

"Sorry," Bella grumbled.

"One of the many hazards of socializing with vampires. It makes you smell bad. A minor hazard, comparatively." _Ugh, so sweet, but burns, gross… How can she stand smelling him all the time?_

I heard the anger in Bella's voice when she answered him. "I only smell bad to you, Jake."

"See you around, Bells."

"Are you leaving?" she asked, sounding surprised and unhappy.

"He's waiting for me to go. I can hear him outside."

"Oh."

"I'll go out the back." I didn't hear him leave, though, and waited impatiently. "Hold up a sec – hey, do you think you can come to La Push tonight? We're having a bonfire party. Emily will be there, and you could meet Kim… And I know Quil wants to see you, too. He's pretty peeved that you found out before he did."

"Yeah, Jake, I don't know about that. See, it's a little tense right now…"

"C'mon, you think somebody's going to get past all – all six of us?" I felt his mind suddenly harden, like he was hiding something.

"I'll ask," Bella promised, but didn't sound too enthusiastic.

 _Bloodsucker making her ask permission to go out… Ridiculous…_ "Is he your warden, now, too? You know, I saw this story on the news last week about controlling, abusive teenage relationships and – "

"Okay! Time for the werewolf to get out!" she ordered.

It was a good thing Bella kicked him out at that point, because I had to restrain myself from charging in and throwing him out of the room.

"Bye, Bells. Be sure you ask _permission."_ _She'll be safer with me, and he knows it._

I heard Bella growling, her tiger-kitten fury almost funny, except for my anger at the wolf's attitude. I wasn't abusive! How dare he suggest such a thing?! Was I controlling? I just wanted her safe. Feeling bad now, I walked slowly into her house. As soon as I opened the door, I smelled the rotten odor of the wolf, plus something else, something sour and unfamiliar.

Looking around the kitchen, I spied the source of the sour smell. A knife lay on the counter, shining wetly with a red that should have drawn me, but didn't. The blood of the wolf smelled just as bad as his body odor did.

"Did you two get into a fight?" I asked, wondering how the knife came to be covered in his blood.

"Edward!" Her lovely voice was music to my ears as she threw herself into my arms. I laughed, enjoying the difference between the sound of her voice when she said the dog's name and the way her voice sounded when she said mine.

"Hi, there." I wrapped her in my arms, knowing as I did that I only felt complete when I held her. "Are you trying to distract me? It's working," I murmured.

"No, I didn't fight with Jacob. Much. Why?"

"I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object." I nodded toward the counter and the bloody knife. No, I didn't object to her stabbing him, but I'd like to see it next time.

"Dang! I thought I got everything." I regretted mentioning it when she pulled away from me and cleaned the offending blade with bleach. However, I was relieved when the smell faded. I could still smell his body odor lingering in the room and considered opening some windows.

"I didn't stab him. He forgot he had a knife in his hand," she explained to my disappointment.

I had to laugh softly at the regret I felt. "That's not nearly as fun as the way I imagined it."

"Be nice," she scolded me.

Deciding I'd had enough of being nice to Jacob Black for one day, I changed the subject.

"I got your mail," I said, tossing the large envelope on the counter.

"Anything good?"

" _I_ think so."

She eyed me, and retrieved the large envelope. She unfolded it and looked at the return address. I saw her eyes widen and her mouth drop open and held back my laugh.

"Dartmouth? Is this a joke?" she demanded.

"I'm sure it's an acceptance. It looks exactly like mine."

"Good grief, Edward – what did you _do?"_ she glared at me, accusingly.

"I sent in your application, that's all," I explained, calmly.

"I may not be Dartmouth material, but I'm not stupid enough to believe _that_."

I shook my head, she never saw herself clearly. "Dartmouth seems to think you're Dartmouth material."

She took a deep breath and held it in, glaring at me, but not speaking. I waited for her wrath, but finally she calmly said, "That's very generous of them. However, accepted or not, there is still the minor matter of tuition. I can't afford it, and I'm not letting you throw away enough money to buy yourself another sports car just so that I can pretend to go to Dartmouth next year."

Trying to hold in my smirk, I said quietly, "I don't need another sports car." I'd just bought myself a very nice bike. "And you don't have to pretend anything." Trying, once again, to convince her to stay human, I urged her, "One year of college wouldn't kill you. Maybe you'd even like it. Just think about it, Bella. Imagine how excited Charlie and Renée would be…"

Her eyes took on a faraway look and I held my breath, hoping she was really considering my words. Finally, she shook her head and said, firmly, "Edward. I'm worried about living through graduation, let alone this summer or next fall."

I pulled her into the protection of my arms. "No one is going to hurt you. You have all the time in the world."

Stubbornly, she insisted, "I'm mailing the contents of my bank account to Alaska tomorrow. It's all the alibi I need. It's far enough away that Charlie won't expect a visit until Christmas at the earliest. And I'm sure I'll think of some excuse by then." Her voice took on a teasing tone, but there was an edge to it that felt false. "You know, this whole secrecy and deception thing is kind of a pain."

If she were going to live for eternity as a vampire, lies were something she was going to have to get used to. "It gets easier. After a few decades, everyone you know is dead. Problem solved."

She flinched away from my words.

Feeling remorse, I apologized, "Sorry, that was harsh."

She looked down and murmured, "But still true."

"If I get this resolved, whatever it is we're dealing with, will you please _consider_ waiting?" I begged her.

"Nope."

"Always so stubborn."

"Yep."

About to argue with her further, I was stopped by the washing machine thumping to a halt.

"Stupid piece of junk," she muttered, adjusting the clothes inside. When it was going again, she turned to me with a frown. "This reminds me. Could you ask Alice what she did with my stuff when she cleaned my room? I can't find it anywhere."

I looked at her sharply. "Alice cleaned your room?"

"Yeah, I guess that's what she was doing. When she came to get my pajamas and stuff to hold me hostage." She shot me an angry look. "She picked up everything that was lying around, my shirts, my socks, and I don't know where she put them."

I felt an icy tingle of fear. Something about this didn't seem right. Alice had not been concerned with Bella's room being messy when she'd shown her memory of kidnapping Bella to me. Who else would have cleaned up? Sudden understanding had my muscles locked.

"When did you notice your things were missing?" I asked in a detached voice, trying to control my fear.

"When I got back from the fake slumber party. Why?" Her expression was confused.

"I don't think Alice took anything. Not your clothes, or your pillow. The things that were taken, these were things you'd worn… and touched… and slept on?"

"Yes," she confirmed, still not seeing. "What is it, Edward?"

"Things with your scent," I said, trying to keep the fear from my voice.

"Oh!"

I looked into her melted chocolate eyes, seeing the fear in them, _hating_ the fear in them.

"My visitor."

"He was gathering traces… evidence. To prove that he'd found you?"

"Why?"

"I don't know. But, Bella, I swear I _will_ find out. I will," I vowed to both of us.

"I know you will," she laid her head against my chest and my arms wound around her, keeping her in the circle of my protection.

We stood embraced like that for a few moments before I felt my phone vibrate. When I glanced at the number, I felt a sense of relief. Carlisle.

"Just the person I need to talk to," I said quietly before answering the call. "Carlisle, I – "

Carlisle interrupted me. His voice was agitated, upset. "Have you seen the news? There have been more deaths in Seattle. Fifteen last night alone. _Fifteen!_ There is more here going on than one rogue vampire on a killing spree. If this continues, the Volturi will have no choice but to step in. I'm surprised they haven't already. We need to put a stop to it before they do! You need to see the paper. Tell me what you think."

"I'll check it out," I assured him. "Listen, there's something else I need to talk to you about. The intruder, the one who broke into Bella's house, he took things from her room. Clothes, socks, things with her _scent!"_

"Took? That makes no sense. What would he need with her things?"

"I was thinking evidence."

"Hmm. Who would he show it to, though? Alice is certain it is not the Volturi."

"Victoria?"

"This doesn't match her pattern. Subtlety doesn't seem to be her strength."

"She was part of a coven before. She had Laurent stalking Bella for her," I pointed out.

"You think she wasn't working alone? Whoever it was has partnered with her?"

"I don't know. Why didn't they stay to kill her if that was the case? Surely she'd know I'd smell them. Why tip their hand?"

He sighed. "Nothing about this makes sense."

"I know. That's what's so frustrating."

"Emmett is talking about going to Seattle today. He thinks the intruder could be the rogue doing all the killing there."

"What do you think?"

"I don't think it's related. The vampire who is killing in Seattle is young, crazy with blood lust. Sloppy. That vampire would never have left Charlie alive."

"Maybe I'll go…" I started to offer to go with Emmett, but then my eyes found Bella's and I changed my mind. "Maybe not." I wouldn't leave her unprotected. "Don't let Emmett go alone, you know how he gets. At least ask Alice to keep an eye on things. We'll figure this out later."

I closed the phone and turned to Bella, wanting to see what Carlisle had been telling me about.

"Where's the paper?"

"Um, I'm not sure. Why?" Her eyes were wide, scared.

"I need to see something. Did Charlie already throw it out?"

"Maybe…"

I flashed out to the trashcan and dug around for the paper. Seconds later, I was back in her kitchen, ignoring the rain that was dripping off of me. I opened the paper and looked at the horrible words, the names and numbers standing out to me.

**Murder Epidemic Continues**

**Police Have No New Leads**

**The citizens of Seattle are in an uproar today as the number of missing and dead climb to unequalled proportions. Four teenagers were found murdered outside of the Northgate Mall last night. Rosa Smalls (16), Joanne McKeller (17), Donna Nugent (17), and Francine Cornell (16) were shopping together, but there was no safety to be found in numbers. The teens were discovered in a parking lot hours after the mall closed. Security guards had gone to investigate a fire and upon arriving on the scene, discovered the bodies being burned in their car.**

**Police have made several arrests, but with the numbers of dead continuing after their captures, were forced to conclude that they had not yet caught the killer.**

**Detective Michael Wardell believes the pattern suggests a series of gang initiated deaths, with violence and numbers being the only driving force. Victims have been scattered among the population, both young and old, men and women, from all races and ethnic backgrounds. The only things they have seemed to have in common, other than being in Seattle, have been the times of their disappearances and the brutal way the victims have died.**

**Police are advising everyone to stay home at night, to lock their doors…**

Four murders outside of the mall. Carlisle had said fifteen, though. I continued to scan the paper and found reports of a massive accident late at night, a house fire in a suburban neighborhood, a hit and run, a robbery ending in the violent death of the convenience store worker. The humans could see a pattern, but they weren't looking at the larger picture. Deaths were scattered throughout Seattle, all at night, all from apparent different causes. To us, all quite obviously the work of a very thirsty vampire.

Disgusted, I grumbled, "Carlisle's right… yes… very sloppy. Young and crazed? Or a death wish?" Was it someone who hated what they had become, who was unable to control themselves, but wanted to be stopped? I knew only too well the seductive pull of human blood, and the way my first taste had led to a killing spree of my own, though I'd stuck to criminals.

"It's getting worse," Bella said, her voice soft in my ear.

Still looking at the various reported deaths, I noted that some of them had occurred at the same time, in different areas of the city.

"Altogether out of control. This can't be the work of just _one_ newborn vampire. What's going on? It's as if they've never heard of the Volturi. Which is possible, I guess. No one has explained the rules to them… so who is creating them, then?"

"The Volturi?" Bella questioned me with a shudder.

I explained. "This is exactly the kind of thing they routinely wipe out – immortals who threaten to expose us. They just cleaned up a mess like this in Atlanta, and it hadn't gotten nearly this bad. They will intervene soon, very soon, unless we can find some way to calm the situation. I'd really rather they didn't come to Seattle just now. As long as they're this close… they might decide to check on you."

Her body shook from another shudder. "What can we do?"

"We need to know more before we can decide that. Perhaps if we can talk to these young ones, explain the rules, it can be resolved peacefully." I frowned, wondering again where they could have come from. "We'll wait until Alice has an idea of what's going on… We don't want to step in until it's absolutely necessary. After all, it's not our responsibility. But it's good we have Jasper. If we are dealing with newborns, he'll be helpful."

"Jasper? Why?"

"Jasper is sort of an expert on young vampires," I explained with a grim smile.

"What do you mean, an expert?"

"You'll have to ask him – the story is involved," I evaded.

"What a mess," she grumbled.

"It does feel that way, doesn't it? Like it's coming at us from all sides these days." _Being in my life was so dangerous for her_ , I thought with an unhappy sigh. "Do you ever think that your life might be easier if you weren't in love with me?"

"Maybe. It wouldn't be much of a life, though," she said, firmly.

"For me," I said, remembering how pointless my life had been before meeting her and how miserable I'd been during my months away. I stared into her eyes for a moment longer before reminding her, "And now, I suppose you have something you want to ask me?" I tried to smile.

"I do?"

I grinned, happy that she had so completely forgotten her recent visit with the dog. "Or maybe not. I was rather under the impression that you'd promised to ask my permission to go to some kind of werewolf soirée tonight."

"Eavesdropping again?" Her eyes were twinkling.

Still grinning I assured her, "Just a bit, at the very end."

"Well, I wasn't going to ask you anyway. I figured you had enough to stress about."

Still feeling bad about Jacob's accusations that I was abusive and controlling, I needed her to know that she was free to choose, as I had assured her before. If she was going to choose me, I had to give her the choice. I put a hand under her chin and tilted her face so that I could see her eyes again.

"Would you like to go?"

"It's no big thing. Don't worry about it."

"You don't have to ask my permission, Bella. I'm not your father – thank heaven for _that_. Perhaps you should ask Charlie, though." I couldn't tell if she wanted to go or not. Her eyes were worried.

"But you know Charlie will say yes."

"I do have a bit more insight into his probable answer than most people would, it's true." She was right. I knew he'd say yes. He'd be ecstatic at the thought of her spending time with the dog he liked so much.

She stared back into my eyes, her silent mind hidden as always, her eyes were the only real windows into her thoughts I had. They took on a wistful look, the line between her brows appeared, and she looked sad.

"Bella, I told you that I was going to be reasonable and trust your judgment. I meant that. If you trust the werewolves, then I'm not going to worry about them."

"Wow," she said, her tone surprised. Her expression cleared of the unconscious sadness.

"And Jacob's right – about one thing, anyway – a pack of werewolves ought to be enough to protect even you for one evening," I teased her.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Only…" I felt her tense. "I hope you won't mind taking a few precautions? Allowing me to drive you to the boundary line, for one. And then taking a cell phone, so that I'll know when to pick you up?"

"That sounds… very reasonable."

"Excellent," I smiled, happy she was willing to go along with my requests.

After requesting permission of Charlie to go to the party that evening – which he agreed to with enthusiasm – Bella called Jacob to tell him of her acceptance.

"I'd like to bring the bike back with me. Do you think we should take Emmett's Jeep? Or will we need my truck?"

I felt immediate disappointment. I'd looked forward to riding with her on my new bike – that she still didn't know about. Not letting her see my feelings, I nodded.

"It should fit in my car," I assured her. Charlie didn't know I was planning on taking her to La Push and wouldn't understand why she didn't drive herself, so Bella drove her truck to my house. When she got out, I saw her staring at my new bike, parked beside hers.

"What is _that_?" she demanded.

Embarrassed, I tried to act as though it was no big deal. "Nothing."

"It doesn't _look_ like nothing."

Keeping control of my expression – I didn't want her to know how much I had looked forward to riding beside her – I explained, "Well, I didn't know if you were going to forgive your friend, or he you, and I wondered if you would still want to ride your bike anyway. It sounded like it was something you enjoyed. I thought I could go with you, if you wished."

She looked sad, staring at the bike for a moment before she whispered, "I wouldn't be able to keep up with you."

Placing my hand under her chin once again, I turned her so that she was looking at me. Her mouth was turned down at the corners. Trying to lighten the mood – for both of us – I pushed the corner of her mouth up with my finger.

"I'd keep pace with you, Bella."

"That wouldn't be much fun for you."

"Of course it would, if we were together," I assured her.

I watched her face closely, while she considered, chewing on her lip, a frown between her brows.

"Edward, if you thought I was going too fast or losing control of the bike or something, what would you do?"

I couldn't stop myself from picturing Jacob's memory again: Bella's face covered in blood. I knew that I would save her just as well as she did. Understanding that it was the danger that had drawn her in the beginning, that it was that danger that drew her still, I attempted to smile. She didn't _want_ to ride with me. I fought back the sting of rejection.

"This is something that you do with Jacob. I see that now."

"It's just that, well, I don't slow him down so much, you know. I could try, I guess…"

Slightly mollified that she'd be willing if I asked her to, I assured her, "Don't worry about it." Then I laughed, remembering Jasper and Emmett's reactions when I'd driven the bike home. "I saw Jasper admiring it. Perhaps it's time he discovered a new way to travel. After all, Alice has her Porsche now." I'd never hear the end of it from Emmett, though, and wondered if I'd be buying him a truck soon.

"Edward, I – " Now I'd made her feel bad by giving her what she wanted.

I interrupted her by kissing her. "I said not to worry. But would you do something for me?" I begged her.

"Whatever you need," she agreed, easily.

I reached over my – Jasper's – bike to retrieve the jacket and helmet.

"Please?" Trying to dazzle her, I stared into her eyes and smiled.

She took the helmet from me, her mouth twisting. "I'll look stupid," she protested.

"No. You'll look smart. Smart enough not to get yourself hurt." She continued to grimace at the helmet. Before she could work up another protest, I took her face in my hands. "There are things between my hands right now that I can't live without. You could take care of them." My eyes were pleading with her not to be difficult.

"Okay, fine," she gave in to my relief. "What's that other thing?"

I laughed and unfolded the jacket, shaking it lightly. "It's a riding jacket. I hear road rash is quite uncomfortable, not that I would know myself." I offered it to her. Sighing, she flung her hair over her shoulder and pulled the helmet on, then shoved her arms into the jacket. I zipped it closed, unable to hold in my smile. Stepping back, I admired her.

Wow.

I always thought she was beautiful, but this was new. She looked… dangerous.

"Be honest, how hideous do I look?"

I stepped back again, admiring the way the jacket clung to and accented her curves. I had to fight off the sudden fierce desire to tear it – and the rest of what she was wearing – off of her.

"That bad, huh?" She never saw herself clearly. _Jacob_ would see, though, and I regretted getting her the snug black leather jacket.

"No, no, Bella. Actually…" _Was_ there a word to accurately describe how she looked, dressed in her riding gear? "You look… sexy." That was close. _Hot_ was another.

She laughed at me. "Right."

"Very sexy, really," I assured her.

"You are just saying that so that I'll wear it. But that's okay. You're right, it's smarter."

I pulled her into my embrace, liking the way the leather felt. "You're silly. I suppose that's part of your charm. Though, I'll admit it, this helmet does have its drawbacks." I pulled the helmet off so I could have access to her lips.

Knowing she was about to go see Jacob, I wanted to leave her desiring me as much as I desired her in that moment. I pressed my lips to hers, feeling her soft mouth shape itself around mine. I traced her lower lip, kissing her lightly from one corner of her mouth to the other. Opening my mouth, I ran my tongue along her lip, feeling her heart begin to race. I moved to her jaw, just below her ear and lightly kissed along her jaw, under her chin to her other ear.

As her breathing began to speed up, I felt her hands clutch at my shoulders and ran mine down her back, pressing her soft body against me. With my face buried in her hair, one arm wrapped around her back, I allowed my other hand to trail lower, across her hip. Growing bolder, I moved my hand around and behind her, until I cupped soft curve of her in my hand and pulled her up against me. I smelled the change in her body as she reacted to my touch and captured her mouth again.

She opened her mouth to me this time and – making certain I had no venom in my mouth – I pressed my tongue against hers, tasting her and breathing in her breaths. She wasn't the only one breathing fast now, but I didn't stop. I loved her and wanted her to be _mine_ and I used my hands, my lips, my tongue to tell her so. She responded with enthusiasm, her hands traveling over my shoulders, along my back, into my hair, over my chest, and around my waist. She pressed her body to me, much firmer than I dared to press her, and her lips never stopped moving against mine.

I had to break the kiss _now_ , or I would end up giving in to her. With a gasp, I pulled away, pressing my forehead against hers. I ran my fingers along her cheek, smiling at her blush, and turned away to load her bike into my car.

I tried hard not to be apprehensive when I drove the girl I loved to spend the evening with the wolf I hated.

"You know what this reminds me of?" she commented on the way there, her voice sour. "It's just like when I was a kid and Renée would pass me off to Charlie for the summer. I feel like a seven-year-old."

I had to laugh at her tone.

When we neared the boundary, I caught the grumbling thoughts of the wolf, wondering if I'd really let Bella come over. When he caught sight of her, he broke into a huge grin. I parked far enough away that I shouldn't have to smell him when I got out of my car.

"Call me whenever you're ready to come home and I'll be here," I told her.

"I won't be out late," she assured me.

While I pulled her bike out of my car and handed her the helmet she promised she would wear, I heard Jacob's thoughts.

_Sam is willing to renegotiate the treaty with you. He said he'd meet you at Charlie's house since he wanted to smell the intruder for himself._

I nodded slightly to him.

"Do you have it all?"

"No problem," she said, easily.

I felt Jacob's eyes on us, his hatred toward me, and his jealousy. He was picturing, again, the time he'd almost kissed her. It wasn't vindictive this time, though. I felt a wistfulness to his thoughts, a yearning, and a vague desire to use the evening to win her back to him. I sighed, fighting the need to rip him apart. Then I decided to pay him back. I had to watch him _almost_ kiss her. It was only right to return that particular favor with interest.

Bella lifted her face toward me, seeming to expect nothing more than a quick kiss goodbye, but I pulled her to me. Wrapping my arms around her, I kissed her firmly, feeling her body respond to me once again. When she didn't pull away – I'd half expected her to protest to such a display in front of him – I lingered, tasting her lips over and over, pulling her breath into my lungs. For several glorious minutes, I held the girl I loved in my arms, kissing her in front of the wolf who wanted to steal her from me. When her breaths were loud gasps, I let the kiss end, unable to hold back my satisfied laugh.

_That was unnecessary. Ugh! How can she let him touch her? Think I'm gonna be sick…_

"Goodbye," I said, letting her go with regret. "I really do like the jacket." She smiled, blushing, and it took all of my strength to allow her to wheel her bike away from me, to let her walk to the dog I hated, to know that it would be hours before I saw her again. I knew that Victoria was after her, that the Volturi were surely on their way soon, and that an unknown and potentially dangerous new enemy was stalking her, not to mention the pack of dangerous monsters I was letting her blithely walk into.

I climbed into my car, mastering my feelings – my rage, my terror – and watched as the wolf grabbed my girlfriend in a huge hug. My car roared to life as I shoved the gas pedal to the floor with unnecessary force and threw the car in gear. Before the thoughts of my enemy could earn him a quick death, I sped away.


	15. Treaty

**Treaty**

I drove my car back to my house, then ran the familiar path to Charlie's house to wait for Sam. Esme was there, keeping watch over the house, protecting Charlie.

"Evening, Esme," I greeted her.

"Good evening, Edward." She returned my smile. "It's been quiet. No sign of anyone."

"Good. That's going to change, though."

She looked at me sharply. "You sound certain."

"I am." I narrowed my eyes and smiled grimly. "Sam Uley is on his way over here. Jacob offered to have his pack watch for the intruder for us and Sam wants to get his scent. He also wants to renegotiate the treaty."

Her eyes widened at this. "In what way?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure, but I have no doubt that we'll find out."

"I'm surprised they're willing to talk at all. I didn't think they trusted us, especially after what happened between Emmett and that big grey one."

"Well, since Bella is with them, it's like an exchange of trust, I guess. From what I caught of Jacob's mind, you are quite right: they _don't_ trust us, but they know that with Bella in their custody, Sam will be safe. We'd never do anything that would jeopardize her."

She scoffed. _Cowards._ _As if we would go back on our word like that. Ridiculous, holding Bella hostage so that we can talk to one of them._

I grunted, agreeing with her and appreciating her ferocious thoughts. Esme was so sweet and gentle. Hearing her sound so like a vampire was rare and always amusing to me.

While we waited in the woods for Sam to arrive, I listened to Charlie's thoughts. He was thinking happily of the fact that Bella was with Jacob tonight and not me. I moved further into the woods, but couldn't get far enough away from his thoughts to block him completely. Pacing around the house, trying to distract myself from thinking about what Jacob might be trying to do to win her back to him, I cast my mind out, away from Charlie, listening for Sam.

Finally, I caught his mind and returned to Esme's side to wait. Slowly the monstrous wolf came into view. He was massive, closer to the size of a bear or a horse, but he was definitely a wolf. He was black and blended in to the shadows of the trees. I could see his eyes glowing as they caught the light from the house and reflected it back.

 _My name is Sam Uley_ , he greeted me, knowing that I could hear his thoughts. _You're Edward, right?_ _Jacob told you to expect me._

"Yes," I answered him. "Thank you for your willingness."

He dipped his head. _Bella is like family. Charlie, too. We aren't willing to let them be harmed just because we couldn't set aside our differences._

I nodded. "Again, thank you." I paused while we studied each other before asking, "Have you found the intruder's scent?"

_Yes, I followed it before I came here. I'd never smelled him before, but I'll pass his scent on to my pack. We'll know him if he comes back._

Esme was watching me with a crease between her eyebrows. I saw her nose wrinkle and heard her pause her breathing. I didn't think he smelled quite as bad as Jacob, but since I had to talk to him, I couldn't exactly hold my breath the whole time the way she could. There was a strange sharpness I could detect, though, that stung my nose. Not wanting to offend him, especially when he was offering to help me protect Bella and her father, I carefully controlled my expression and didn't let my disgust show.

"Jacob indicated you may be willing to renegotiate?"

_Our lands are quite specific as laid out in the treaty. Any blo- vampires who intrude on our territory are fair game, your family included._

I nodded, knowing this to be true.

_I was considering allowing your family access in the event that you were chasing an enemy._

I caught myself just before my mouth dropped open in shock. That was the _last_ thing I expected to hear him say.

 _If the red-head comes back_ –

"And she will," I interrupted, wanting him to be as certain of this fact as I was.

_When, then. When the red-head comes back, or this intruder, or anyone else who threatens Bella, Charlie, or any other human in Forks, if they run from you and try to escape across our boarder, we will not attack you while you chase them._

He was being just as careful with his wording as the first chief with whom we had negotiated. But for them to allow us on their land, near their families, was something I'd never dreamed he would allow, much less _suggest_ , even if he only promised not to attack us 'while we chased' the enemy.

"That would be very helpful," I said, hesitantly. "If we could have worked together before, Victoria would already be ashes."

_I agree. That's why I am allowing this._

"We are very grateful."

_Understand, though. This does not grant you unlimited access to our lands. We will allow you to protect the town, but no more._

I had suspected as much, not that I wanted to spend any time on the reservation. I was sure that with their constant patrols, the entire area would reek of death. Still, there was no need to antagonize him, so I spoke calmly.

"That's reasonable. Likewise, we would not object to you doing the same. If you were to follow an intruder even up to our front door, so long as Bella and her father are safe, we will not harm you."

He dipped his head once again.

Deciding to push my luck, I said, "We would also appreciate any assistance you could give us in keeping her safe. We have been patrolling the town and forest regularly, and I refuse to leave Bella unguarded at any time. Searching for Victoria, the intruder, and keeping Bella and Charlie safe, though…"

_Your numbers are limited._

"Yes," I admitted. It wasn't as though they didn't know there were seven of us.

 _We would be willing to watch with you. I would like to extend our patrol area from the reservation to include the town, with the emphasis being keeping Charlie's house safe. I have no doubt that Jacob will insist on it._ He laughed, his wolf form making a coughing bark that shook his frame.

My lips twisted into a rueful, crooked grin. "I'm sure of that."

_And your family? How do they feel about this?_

"Bella is part of our family. We will do whatever it takes to keep her safe."

Esme nodded fervently in agreement.

He was growling, a low rumble deep in his chest. _Bella is a human. You may consider her a part of your family, but she is_ not _. Biting her is a violation of the treaty. Even if she believes it to be what she wants._

I met his eyes calmly, showing no emotion. "I understand that."

_Do you? Because I want to be clear on this point. Even if she asks you to, the treaty is very specific. If you or any member of your family bites a human, it will be considered an act of war._

"Yes. The treaty was very clear on that point," I assured him. I wasn't worried; as Bella had said, we would leave before it happened and then it would no longer be any of his concern.

 _Good. I believe we're done here, then. I will send Jacob over after our meeting tonight. If you – or your female,_ his eyes flickered to Esme, _would stay to protect Charlie until then?_

"Absolutely," I assured him. He nodded, then melted back into the forest, his giant paws silent against the forest floor.

When he left, I explained what Sam had said of extending the lines, of allowing us to cross onto their territory to pursue Victoria and any other intruders, and of them patrolling the town. I saw the same surprise on her face as I knew that I had felt.

"Will you stay, watch over Charlie while I go talk to Carlisle?" I asked her when I was done.

"Of course," she assured me with a smile. "What point was the treaty clear on? The one he was so adamant to make?"

"That we would never bite a human." Her expression was surprised, offended. "He was warning me against turning Bella," I explained.

"That's none of his business," she said, sharply.

"Hmm," I agreed. I ran back to my house then, needing to advise Carlisle of the new amendments to the treaty that Sam had agreed to. I found Jasper and Emmett watching the news again.

"Hey, Jazz, how would you like a slightly used Ducati?" I couldn't help laughing at Emmett's face when I offered Jasper the bike.

"What? Seriously?"

"Yeah," I shrugged, trying to act as though it were no big deal. "You know how Bella feels about me spending money."

 _Oh, this is so unfair._ Emmett sank deeper into the couch, arms crossed.

"Don't sulk, Emmett," I teased him. "You've got a Jeep. Jasper needs a ride of his own."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he protested quickly.

"Sure," I drew the word out, holding back my laugh.

Jasper was watching me, feeling the emotions that I was hiding behind my teasing tone.

_Why didn't you tell her you wanted to ride with her?_

I shook my head, not wanting to talk about it.

_I can tell you're upset. You should have told her how you felt._

I growled at him. "Leave it alone, Jasper. Unless you'd like Emmett to have the bike instead?"

"Fine," he said as Emmett looked up, excited. "But I still think you should have said something."

"Is Carlisle still at the hospital?" I changed the subject, surprised he wasn't in the living room with them.

"Yeah, he had to stay late to finish up with a patient. He called not long ago. Should be home soon."

"Good. When he gets home, I need to talk to everyone," I said as I sat on the couch beside Emmett. The big story in the news was still Seattle. Alice and Rose came downstairs to join us. I could hear their disgust at the newest numbers to add to the disturbing total.

"This is ridiculous," Emmett grumbled. "We should go, now! Before it gets any worse!"

"And what are you going to do about it. Emmett?" Rosalie glared at him. "Just walk into an unknown situation against an obviously crazy vampire and ask him to play nice?"

"No, we go together and explain the rules in a way he can't ignore," he balled his fist and hit the palm of his other hand.

"We're not the Volturi," Jasper argued. _I've had enough of killing. I don't relish the thought of being forced to clean up this mess._

"Neither do I, Jasper, but this can't continue," I said. Rose rolled her eyes and Emmett grumbled my name, both annoyed whenever I answered thoughts in the middle of a conversation.

"Fine!" I snapped, my sour mood not helped by their attitudes. I stood and stalked from the room, aware that I was acting childish, but my frustration over Bella spending the evening with Jacob left me with no patience to deal with anyone else.

Waiting on Carlisle to get home, I stood in my room and watched the forest through the window. After a few minutes, I heard Jasper approaching my room.

"Come on in," I said before he could knock.

"They're just worried," he tried to apologize for them.

"I know."

"So… are you really giving the bike to me?" he asked, changing the subject. His lips were curved in a hopeful smile.

"Yep."

"You don't want to just take it back?"

"Nope."

"Can I pay you back?"

I shrugged. "Nah, just let me ride once in a while."

"Sure thing," he laughed. "Emmett's seething with jealousy right now."

"I know," I grinned back. "You might want to challenge him to a wrestling match for it, though. Just wait till Carlisle gets back, if you don't mind," I said in response to his desire to take the bike out for a test drive that very moment. He left to go admire his new ride, certain he'd beat Emmett for ownership of the bike, while I stared moodily out of the windows, trying not to imagine Bella laughing at Jacob's jokes, riding beside _him_ on her bike, smiling at him…

It was unbelievably frustrating!

Thoughts of Bella consumed my mind. Since the moment I'd met her, she'd been all I could think about. I hated that she liked to spend time with him so much. Worse was knowing – hearing – how he was in love with her. Knowing that he planned on stealing her from me. Worse still was knowing that she loved him, too.

When Carlisle came home, my family – minus Esme, who was still guarding Charlie – gathered in the dining room. The long, oval table was never used for its intended purpose since we never ate, but it made a great place for all of us to gather when we wanted to talk about something important.

"I met with Sam Uley this afternoon," I began.

"One of the wolves?" Carlisle asked, recognizing the name from our first time in Forks.

"Yes. He's this pack's leader. He offered a renegotiation of our treaty."

"What did he want?"

"To allow us access to their lands." I heard the shock in every mind around the table. "They were embarrassed at the confrontation between Emmett and Paul. Sam said that if we had cooperated, or at least not gotten in each other's ways, we'd have killed Victoria already."

"That's very generous of them," Carlisle commented, impressed.

"They don't trust us, still. They don't want us on their land – "

 _The feeling's mutual,_ Emmett grumbled. I shot him a glare before continuing.

" – but they won't stop us from pursuing Victoria or any other intruder. He also offered to extend their patrol to cover the town, and to allow Jacob, at least, to help us watch over Charlie's house. Although he seemed to indicate more than just Jacob would watch Charlie, I think the rest of the pack will be patrolling the town and only Jacob will focus on Bella and Charlie's safety. I think he knows he won't stop Jacob and this way Jacob will have Sam's permission to help us watch over them."

"Good. I know Bella will not be out of your sight often, but now Charlie will be protected as well."

"And the rest of Forks," I agreed.

"The rest of Forks would be safer if we would just take care of the one problem that we actually can, right now," Emmett insisted. "We need to go to Seattle."

"Seattle isn't the problem," Carlisle disagreed. "That vampire isn't killing here."

"Perhaps not, but they are far too close. Not even considering all of the human deaths that we could be preventing." _If they aren't stopped by us, we all know the Volturi will put a stop it eventually._

"None of us want the Volturi here," I agreed with him and turned to Carlisle. "I don't think it's just one vampire."

He sighed. "I was afraid you were going to say that."

"I'm guessing that you noticed the times of the deaths? Some of them occurred in different areas of the town at the same times. Assuming they weren't the accidents they were reported as, even as fast as we move, they could not have been the work of only one vampire. No matter how young and crazed."

"Well, that's all the more reason to go _now,_ before things get worse!" Emmett exclaimed.

I felt Jasper's unease, saw him remembering the many newborns he had been forced to kill as a part of Maria's coven. _A single newborn is dangerous enough. More than one, acting together, are a terror. We aren't really qualified to handle that kind of thing. This is why the vampire community needs the Volturi. They_ should _be the ones to handle this._

"You don't think the seven of us, acting together, could subdue a couple of young vampires? All we'd need to do would be to get them to listen," I asked.

"And if they won't listen?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Are you prepared to kill them, just because they aren't following the rules? It's been decades since the last time you took a life. Are you so eager to become a killer again?"

I squirmed at this, not meeting his eyes. He felt my discomfort, my guilt and remorse at the memories of the vampires who had died by my hand when I had been hunting Victoria.

 _Edward?_ he thought, alarmed.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows. _I haven't told anyone what you told me. Don't you think it's time?_

Ignoring their silent questions, I answered the one the others had heard. "No, of course I'm not eager to kill, but I'll do whatever it takes to keep Bella safe." My voice was hard, my face fierce. I knew the words were true, as I had known them to be when I was tracking Victoria. I was damned already, my soul lost. It didn't matter to me what I had to do; nothing was worth risking Bella's life.

"Well, we don't _have_ to kill them. All we have to do is stop them long enough to get them to listen; dismembering them would work just as well," Emmett suggested.

"I know that you will do whatever it takes to protect Bella, Edward," Carlisle said, "but if there are more than one of them, that changes things. It's not likely that they will stop to listen to reason. I don't relish the idea of keeping the peace by using force of any kind, Emmett. That's not who we are. And if we were to go to Seattle, that would leave Forks – and Bella – with no protection other than the wolves, whom Alice cannot see."

"We don't all have to go," I disagreed. "I'm sure Esme would be happy to stay and keep Bella safe. And Rose isn't really a fighter, either. The two of them would be more than enough protection."

 _I am NOT babysitting your human, Edward!_ she glared at me.

Before I could do more than growl at her, Jasper spoke, "I don't like the idea of splitting our numbers like that. We know it's more than one, but how many more? We have no way of knowing for sure what we'd be walking in to since Alice can't see us going."

"So for now, what? We just let them continue to kill?" Emmett demanded.

"That's what we would be doing if this was happening anywhere else," Rose pointed out. "Just because it's happening in our state, is no reason to go risking our lives. It's one thing to fight to protect our town. It's another to leave our home to do so."

Carlisle nodded in agreement. I felt Jasper's relief that he would not be put in a situation where he might have to kill again. Though the others were relieved, too, Emmett was disappointed. He had always been a man of action and sitting around waiting and watching was frustrating to him.

"Alice?" I turned to my sister.

She shook her head. "I see no changes. I told you we weren't going there. Aro is still waiting and Victoria is still hunting." She shrugged, insisting, "There's nothing to see."

I stood up from the table and the rest of the family did as well.

"Well, that's settled, then. I think I'll go take my new bike for a spin," Jasper needled Emmett. "Unless you'd like to wrestle me for it?"

His face lit up instantly. "You're on!"

Alice and Rose returned to the design project they had been working on, while Carlisle ran to Charlie's to join Esme. I was tempted for a moment to join them, but knew I'd have to listen to Charlie's thoughts about Jacob and decided to watch Emmett and Jasper wrestle instead.

I was laughing heartily when Jasper tossed Emmett through the air for the fifth time.

"Ooh, that was a close one, Em!" I teased him.

"Again!" he growled, and moved to stalk Jasper once more.

"Maybe you just need the proper motivation," I said, laughing again. "Would you prefer to wrestle him for a new truck, instead?"

"So who gets the bike, then?" Jasper asked, dropping his defensive position to glare at me.

Emmett used his momentary distraction to initiate his next attack and they were at it again. Twisting, shoving, ducking and weaving, they were blurs of speed as they grappled for the upper hand.

"Winner take all?" I offered. Seconds later, Emmett was in the air once more and Jasper was strutting around the small clearing with his hands raised above his head in a victory pose.

"C'mon, Em, you've got to pin him at least once, or he'll be insufferable!"

"Think you can do better?" he gripped. "Military brat has decades of training on me!"

"Excuses, excuses," I laughed, and leapt off the porch to join in. Working together, coming at him from opposite sides, Emmett and I finally managed to pin Jasper.

Laughing breathlessly, he disputed the win."This doesn't count, Emmett! You had to have help, so the bike's still mine." He glanced at me with a smirk. "And apparently a truck, too?"

"No way!" I protested, shoving him. "I beat you, _and_ gave you my bike, but I still have to get you a truck? How is that fair?"

"Okay," he drew out the word. "How about this, then, Emmett? I won the bike, fair and square. It's mine, but if you want a new truck, you'll have to beat me at something. A bet."

"What did you have in mind?"

Jasper glanced at me and I scoffed, disgusted, and stalked away, angry again. They had been having a running disagreement on their predictions of how Bella would turn out once she became a vampire. Specifically, how many people she'd kill.

Furious, I returned to the house to wait for Bella to call me. Hoping to tune out their conversation, I sat down at my piano and began to play. My fingers were flying over the keys, the song coming out fast and angry, suiting my mood.

I wouldn't let Bella become a killer.

I couldn't.


	16. Time

**Time**

The hours seemed to drag. Perhaps it might not have been as bad if I didn't have to listen to Emmett and Jasper debating the details of their sick bet. No matter how loud I played, I couldn't drown out their thoughts entirely. They were still arguing over the numbers of people Bella would kill in her first year as a newborn vampire.

Emmett argued that she was stubborn, and her determination not to kill from the start would keep the numbers low. Jasper argued that her fascination with our life predisposed her to forgetting that determination, and the numbers would climb. Jasper had far more experience with newborn vampires than any of us, and he knew exactly how deadly and thirsty she would be. Emmett reminded him that between Alice's visions of the future, my mind reading ability to see any humans close enough for her to smell, and the rest of our family's vigilance, she wouldn't be like the ones he had spent most of the century raising.

However, they both agreed on one point, at least; that no matter what I tried, there would be at least _some._ The only question to them was how many. Dozens? Hundreds?

I had to keep reminding myself of my vow to keep control of my temper, otherwise I would have sprinted back to the small clearing and given them both a thorough thrashing. As furious as I was at that moment, I was certain that I would be able to take them both down.

When my phone finally rang, I was nearly frantic with worry.

"Bella?" I answered.

"No, bloodsucker, it's me." Jacob's husky voice was low, quiet.

"What's wrong?" I asked, already in my car. "Where's Bella?"

"Relax, nothing's wrong. She just fell asleep. Our meeting is over and I was calling you so you could come and pick her up."

Instant relief. I sighed, the hard knot of fear in my chest loosening.

"I'll be there in a few minutes," I promised and hung up. When I parked my car in the same spot as I'd parked when I dropped her off, he hadn't pulled up. Unable to simply sit in my car and wait, I got out and leaned against the hood. Closing my eyes, I cast my mind in the direction of the Quileutes' village, listening out as far as possible to catch Jacob's mind, but he wasn't close enough for me to hear, yet. Frustrated, I began to pace along the border.

Eventually, Jacob's thoughts came through to me. I saw his memory of the evening he'd spent with Bella. They'd gathered on the same high cliff from which Bella had thrown herself. I saw him remember a huge bonfire, most of the younger tribe members as well as the oldest had gathered around for an evening of storytelling. I saw his memory of her face, enraptured at his tribe's history. Relief flooded through me as I felt his disappointment that he hadn't been brave enough to confront her about his feelings.

 _Coward,_ I scoffed. Bella was curled up on the bench seat next to him. He was driving slowly, his arm around her, drawing out his time with her, unsure of when I'd let her come visit again. My hands balled into fists as I forced myself to wait for him to pull up and park his car.

He shook her gently and leaned close to speak in her ear. _"C'mon, Bells. We're here."_

I watched her open her eyes, blinking sleepily. The little crease formed between her brows as she took in her surroundings. She looked confused. Her eyes widened in alarm and she gasped.

" _Oh, crap! How late is it? Dang it, where's that stupid phone?"_ I smiled as I felt his disappointment. As soon as she woke, it was me she was thinking of, not him. He watched her feel around her pockets, looking for the small phone I'd given her.

" _Easy,"_ he attempted to reassure her. _"It's not even midnight, yet. And I already called him for you. Look – he's waiting there."_ He gestured through the windshield toward my waiting car.

" _Midnight?"_ She looked in the direction he'd pointed and he watched as her face instantly cleared of the confusion, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. He, too, could hear the rhythm of her heart as it changed from the slow resting pace to a faster flutter. She instantly reached for the handle to let herself out of his car and I felt his disappointment again when it looked like she was going to leave him without even saying goodbye.

" _Here,"_ he stopped her, holding out the phone.

" _You called Edward for me?"_

" _I figured if I played nice, I'd get more time with you."_

 _"Thanks, Jake."_ He watched her smile. _"Really, thank you. And thanks for inviting me tonight. That was…"_ She shook her head, an awed look on her face. _"Wow. That was something else."_

" _And you didn't even stay up to watch me swallow a cow,"_ he laughed, pleased that she had so obviously enjoyed herself. Deliberately, he emphasized how much he had enjoyed her company. _"No, I'm glad you liked it. It was… nice for me. Having you there."_ Tired of waiting in the tree line, I walked closer to my car. He saw her distraction as she watched me out of the windshield. Annoyed, he complained, _"Yeah, he's not so patient, is he? Go ahead. But come back soon, okay?"_

She opened the door and I was able to hear her lovely voice for myself. "Sure, Jake."

"Sleep tight, Bells. Don't worry about anything – I'll be watching out for you tonight."

She'd been about to step out, but paused, one foot on the ground, the other still in his car. "No, Jake. Get some rest, I'll be fine."

"Sure, sure." _Got to make sure those bloodsuckers aren't slacking off. I'm made to kill vampires. Anyone comes to harm her and I'll rip them to pieces. …stupid Cullens…_

"Night, Jake. Thanks."

"Night, Bella." She stepped out of his car and shut the door, walking quickly to where I waited for her. The second she was across the border, I swept her into my arms, not even caring that she smelled like the wolves.

"Bella," I breathed her name, relieved to be holding her again.

She pressed herself to me briefly before apologizing for the late night. "Hi. Sorry I'm so late. I fell asleep and – "

I stopped her, unwilling to let her feel bad for spending time with her friends. "I know. Jacob explained." As I pulled her toward the car, her feet dragged and her steps faltered. I kept my arm around her, but the relief I felt at having her by my side again made even that not enough. I wanted to hold her, to press her body against me. Hopeful, but certain I knew what her answer would be, I offered, "Are you tired? I could carry you."

"I'm fine."

I hid my smile. "Let's get you home and in bed. Did you have a nice time?"

"Yeah – it was amazing, Edward. I wish you could have come. I can't even explain it. Jake's dad told us the old legends and it was like… like magic." Her voice was awed.

Curious as to what could have affected her so deeply, I encouraged her, "You'll have to tell me about it. After you've slept."

"I won't get it right," she said, finally giving in to the yawn.

I laughed and helped her into the car.

 _...already called Charlie ...let him know why Bella was out so late. He's expecting her soon,_ Jacob thought at me as he turned his car back toward his home. Bella waved out of her window. I wasn't sure if I should feel grateful he'd called Charlie or not. He knew how long it took to get from La Push to his house and it would take too long to drive her to my house to get her truck. Deciding to just return her truck later, I drove her straight to her house.

Charlie was waiting up for her, and I heard him greet her with pleasure. He hadn't cared that she was out so late, not when it was Jacob she'd been with. Grumbling at the unfairness of his preference for the wolf, I sped back to my house to switch cars. When I parked her truck back in her driveway, I could hear Charlie's sleepy thoughts. He was already in his bed and nearly asleep.

Instead of climbing right up into Bella's room, I stopped to speak with Esme, first.

"Carlisle wanted to catch the eleven o'clock news," she explained when I wondered why she was watching alone. "He spent most of the evening here," she reassured me.

"Jacob will be here to watch during the night. Why don't you go ahead on home and I'll wait here until he arrives?" I offered.

"I'm proud of you, Edward. I know it wasn't easy to let her go to the wolf's tonight."

"Thanks, Mom," I said, my tone sour. She chuckled and took off toward home, while I waited for Jacob to show up.

Waiting in the tree line once more, I found myself on edge. The rain was making me jumpy again. I decided to tune out the sights and sounds around me, not trusting my eyes and ears in the storm, and used my mind to search for an intruder's thoughts, instead. I quickly scanned all of the sleeping minds in the houses around me. Once familiar with their thoughts, I dismissed them, searching for any that didn't belong.

Before too long, I caught Jacob's thoughts as he swept through the forest, his wolf form on alert for any scents that didn't belong. I heard strange echoes in his mind, thoughts that weren't his, though they all seemed to originate from him. I recognized Sam's voice, and another two males I didn't know, along with images from various places around town, all jumbled together. Confused, I listened harder, trying to identify the source of the minds I could hear, but they all came from Jacob.

Understanding dawned on me as I realized I was hearing his pack member's minds through his. _Interesting_ , I thought. _Their wolf minds are connected._ That explained how he'd been able to show me Sam's memories before. He'd actually seen them. That hadn't been as apparent in our original meeting with the old chief, Ephriam. I guessed that was because the pack then had only had three members who had all been present at the time. I'd heard them speaking to each other, but none of Jacob's pack were close enough for me to hear directly.

My range was normally only a few miles - something for which I was quite grateful. Even within a three mile radius, there could be hundreds of human minds to hear, especially within a city where I would hear all of the minds in the tall buildings. Through Jacob's mind, I was able to see clear across to the other side of town where Sam prowled. Fascinating.

He padded up to me and I saw Jacob Black in his huge wolf form for the first time. Where Sam had been black, Jacob was a reddish brown, not quite as large as Sam had been, but close. He met my eyes, his head level with mine. My body reacted to his close presence instinctively. I tasted my venom and felt my already tense muscles trembling with the need to attack him, to defend myself.

Trying to calm myself, I took a deep breath, recognizing that action as a mistake as soon as I did. His wolf smell was one of death. I was certain that if I tried to drink his blood, it would be like poison to me. He'd insisted that the wolves were made to kill vampires, and standing so close to him in his wolf form, I knew this to be true. Everything about him spoke of my death.

He turned away from me and trotted off to circle the neighborhood. The second he did, I mastered my body's instinctive reactions and sprinted up to Bella's open window. She was leaning out into the night, her eyes searching the darkness, then widening when she saw me appear at her side. She moved to give me room and I slipped into the small bedroom that was my personal sanctuary.

I reached for her and her hands were like flames against my skin, though she was shivering before I even touched her. The trees had protected me from the worst of the rain but I was slightly damp. She didn't seem to care, leaning into my embrace as I wrapped her in the protection of my arms.

"Is Jacob out there?" she asked me.

"Yes… somewhere. And Esme's on her way home."

"It's so cold and wet. This is silly," she protested with a sigh.

"It's only cold to _you,"_ I assured her with a low chuckle. Except for the distraction the movement of the rain had caused I had barely noticed the storm or the rain on my skin. Charlie was asleep, but he wouldn't have been able to catch me anyway when I left Bella's room to towel off. I might not notice the rain, but I didn't want to get her bed wet.

With a happy sigh, I lay down on her bed after tucking her in. She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest while I wrapped my arms around her. I leaned my head close to hers, so that my nose was almost touching the top of her head and breathed her in. I was glad that she'd had fun, but even more glad that she was home and in my arms again.

After she fell asleep, my eyes were caught by the book on the table by her bed. _Wuthering Heights._ Although familiar with the story, it had been a long time since I had read it and I picked the book up. Any insight into Bella's mind was fascinating to me and I had changed so completely since I had read the book last that I took new meaning from the words.

Bella's sleepy sounds pulled me away from my immersion into the book and I watched her with concern. She was tossing her head, her forehead was furrowed, and she made soft whimpers. I saw her feet moving under the covers and she rolled away from me. Just as I considered waking her, her eyes flew open and she gasped. She turned back into me, burrowing into my embrace with her head against my chest.

I dropped the book and wrapped her in my arms. "Did I wake you?"

"No." She sighed. "I had a bad dream."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked, hopefully.

I felt her shake her head against my chest. "Too tired," she mumbled. "Maybe in the morning, if I remember."

I laughed softly and murmured, "In the morning."

"What were you reading?" she asked to my surprise.

My lips twisted when I answered her. " _Wuthering Heights._ " As often as I had mocked the story, I thought she'd laugh at me for reading it now, if she were awake enough to do so.

She squirmed deeper into my embrace and muttered, "I thought you didn't like that book."

"You left it out," I explained, my voice barely above whisper in the quiet room. "Besides… the more time I spend around you, the more human emotions seem comprehensible to me. I'm discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn't think possible before."

"Mmm," she murmured. I thought it likely that she wasn't really awake anymore.

"Sleep, Bella. Dream happy dreams." I pressed my lips into her hair and she sighed, her body relaxing back into sleep. The book was on the floor and I would have had to disturb her to retrieve it, so I left it where it was, humming her lullaby to her in an attempt to keep her bad dreams away.

When I asked her about her dream the next morning, she frowned. "I don't really remember it," she confessed. "Something about being cold," this made me frown, concerned that I had made her chilly, despite the number of blankets she'd been wrapped in, but then she continued, "but I was very glad you were there when I woke." Smiling again, I pulled her to me. I could never get enough of tasting Bella's sweet lips, of breathing in her scent.

The next few weeks seemed to speed past as graduation and the possibility of Bella's death got closer. My family's vigilance never eased, nor did the wolves'. Though they patrolled the town regularly, after my initial interaction with Sam, none of them approached us. To my immense relief, Bella did not seek Jacob's company again, though he ran circles around the house nearly every night. The only times when I left Bella's side were when I ran home to change and either drop off, or pick up my car. Every time I left her, she was under the protection of either my family or Jacob. They would place themselves by her house, just in the tree line where they could see, but not be seen.

"Jacob," I greeted him as I ran past.

 _Bloodsucker_ , he nodded, his wolf eyes narrow.

Though I'd only been planning a quick stop in my house, I found Alice poised motionless on the stairs, one leg raised as though in the process of climbing the steps. I focused on her thoughts, alarmed.

Our house was full of people, there was loud music pulsing, the lights were dimmed and strobing. I was pulling Bella up the steps when Alice threw the door open.

" _Surprise! Happy graduation, Bella!"_ she exclaimed.

" _A surprise party? Are you kidding me?!"_ Bella's voice was furious. _"No. Absolutely not! I am_ not _going in."_ She rounded on me, her face accusing. " _Edward! How could you do this to me? What were you thinking?"_

No. No way was I going to let Alice get away with this. Setting my mind firmly against the idea, I saw Alice's vision shift, watched the flowing future changing.

Once more, I saw our house with dim, strobing lights, heard the pulsing music, but this time, it was empty except for Bella and my family. There was a knock on the door, soft, hesitant, barely heard. I saw Bella, a resigned look on her face as she stepped forward to answer it. Just before she opened the door, she took a breath and placed a fake smile on her face, then played her part as hostess, showing her classmates into my family's home.

I stepped forward. "Alice," I shook her shoulder. "Alice, Earth to Alice."

She put her foot down, completing the step her vision had interrupted. "Edward!" She turned to me, frowning. "I wanted a surprise party!"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Bella hates surprises."

"Oh, come on! A party will be so much fun!"

"Uh-huh. Just like the last one?" I lifted an eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Accidents happen. Nothing would have come of it if you hadn't overreacted."

I narrowed my eyes at her, knowing – as I had known then – that I was to blame for the disastrous outcome of that party.

"Aren't you the one who is always saying you want Bella to have a normal human life? Having a graduation party is so normal it's cliché!"

I sighed, knowing that arguing with Alice was futile. "So have one. But _you've_ got to tell Bella about it."

"Me?" she asked, alarmed. " _I_ want it to be a surprise. If you want her to know, _you_ tell her."

Laughing, I shook my head. "Oh, I don't think so. This is your idea, _you_ can deal with her wrath," I insisted. We glared at each other for a moment, both watching the shifting visions. Bella, furious and resisting; Bella, nowhere near the party; Bella, there and playing hostess.

"Fine," she gave in. "So long as I get to throw a party, I guess it doesn't _have_ to be a surprise."

I smiled wryly and shook my head. "Go get ready. School starts in a few minutes." Another party. _Fabulous_ , I groaned.

At lunch, we sat with Bella's friends, as usual. They were discussing the graduation and various colleges. There had been no other topic of conversation for weeks. Unheard by anyone else at the table, Alice and I were still arguing.

"Are you out of your mind?" I demanded. "The _entire_ school?"

"How often am I going to be allowed to throw a party?"

"After something like what you've got planned, probably never again!"

"Exactly. So I may as well get my money's worth."

"Perhaps if you scaled it down a notch. Just invite her friends."

"You really want to spend an evening mingling with _Mike_?" She raised an eyebrow at me and I saw myself and Mike, standing in my living room, discussing his college choices. He still hadn't decided where to go.

Lovely.

"It'll be more fun if there are more people," Alice insisted. "And then you can monopolize Bella, while the guests entertain themselves with food and music."

Wavering, I saw our house full of people again, this time with Bella's hand clasped firmly in mine. Mike was nowhere near us, attempting to dance with Jessica.

"Mmm," I grumbled.

The girls at the table next to us broke into squeals of high pitched giggles. My attention caught, I saw that they were watching some of the boys at another table. I looked over at the giggling girls. Freshmen. Seeing me looking at them, they burst into giggles, once again.

"You are _not_ inviting _them_ ," I insisted.

Alice pouted. "I don't want people to feel left out, Edward!"

"Just, keep it to the upperclassmen, please? It's a graduation party. Invite the _seniors_ who will be graduating."

"That's still not very many people." She contemplated the crowded lunch room. "Seniors and juniors?" she offered as a compromise.

"Fine," I gave in with a sigh.

"Yay!" Alice squealed. The lunch hour almost over, she got up from the table and danced off to her next class, wanting to escape before I could change my mind.

On our way to my car, Alice was still resisting telling Bella. "I know what you're trying to do," I grumbled at her. "You think you can get out of having to tell her by putting it off. Not going to work. You don't tell her, Bella doesn't go." I watched her see myself with Bella and Charlie, enjoying a quiet evening at his favorite restaurant.

She sighed, changing her mind and the future firmed back to us at the party. Putting on the air of a martyr, Alice began in an ominous tone, "I have foreseen…"

I made to elbow her in her ribs, but she dodged away.

"Fine," she grumped. "Edward is making me do this. But I _did_ foresee that you would be more difficult if I surprised you," she admitted, sheepishly.

Bella's face was blank. "In English?"

"Don't be a baby about this. No tantrums," Alice pleaded with her.

"Now I'm scared," Bella said, her eyes narrow, her footsteps slowing.

"So you're – "

"Alice!" I protested, low and quick.

" – I mean _we're –_ " she amended, "having a graduation party. It's no big thing," she tried to reassure her, seeing Bella's mouth open in protest. "Nothing to freak out over. But I saw that you _would_ freak out if I tried to make it a surprise party," I reached over to ruffle her hair for admitting to the truth, but she danced out of my reach, "and Edward said I had to tell you. But it's nothing. Promise."

To my surprise, Bella simply sighed and said, "Is there any point in arguing?"

"None at all," Alice assured her.

"Okay, Alice. I'll be there. And I'll hate every minute of it. Promise."

It took all of my concentration to hold in my laughter. "See?" I asked her so that Bella couldn't hear. "Isn't this better?" She imagined herself sticking her tongue out at me.

"That's the spirit!" Alice encouraged Bella. "By the way, I love my gift. You shouldn't have."

Bella's face was more alarmed now than it had been when Alice told her of the party. "Alice, I didn't!" she protested.

"Oh, I know that. But you will."

Exasperated, I muttered, "Amazing. How can someone so tiny be so annoying?"

"It's a talent," she said with a laugh.

"Couldn't you have waited a few weeks to tell me about this? Now I'll just be stressed that much longer," Bella complained.

 _A few weeks?_ Alice and I both stared at her.

"Bella. Do you know what day it is?" Alice asked, speaking slowly.

"Monday?"

"Yes. It is Monday… the fourth." Alice took hold of Bella and spun her so that she was facing one of the many graduation posters that dotted the walls and doors of the school. I watched Bella's shocked expression as she took in the meaning of the poster. Graduation was next Monday.

"It's the fourth? _Of June?_ Are you sure?" Bella protested, her voice high pitched and panicked.

 _How could she have missed this? It's all the entire school has been talking about for weeks. I was sure she was at lunch with us today, or was that a figment of my imagination?_ Alice asked me, shaking her head.

"It can't be!" Bella exclaimed. "How did that happen?"

"Well," I teased her, "usually the month of June follows the month of May. It's the natural progression of things." I watched her, expecting a scathing glare, or a cutting remark… something. But she didn't answer, simply stood in the middle of the parking lot with a blank expression on her face. After a moment when she didn't move, I took her hand and pulled her to my car.

"I can't wait!" Alice babbled from the backseat. "Esme's going to experiment with some recipes. She's been dying to have someone else to experiment on. Bella's too polite," she teased her.

Bella's face was frozen. She stared out of the windshield as though she hadn't heard a word Alice had said.

When she didn't respond, Alice continued, "I'm going to invite all of the seniors and the juniors. I know you just saw Renée, Bella, but I'm sure she will want to come and see you graduate, so I'll invite her and Phil, too. Charlie, of course, would be welcome, but he won't come.

"There are some supplies I need. Oh! Let's make a run to Olympia this weekend! You still need a graduation dress."

Once again, Bella ignored Alice.

 _She didn't_ seem _mad. What gives?_

I shrugged. "Bella? You don't have to go to the party if you don't want," I tried to assure her. She ignored me, as well.

I met Alice's eyes in the rearview mirror. She looked at the future again and saw Bella and I at the party, as she had before. I shrugged, unsure what to make of Bella's silence. I dropped Alice off at the end of my driveway and took the still unresponsive Bella to her home.


	17. Confessions

**Confessions**

Bella didn't speak the entire car ride home and ignored every attempt that I made to talk with her. I had to physically pull her from the car and guide her steps into her home. I watched her carefully, but her face was expressionless and impossible to read.

Fear clenched my gut as I pulled her to the couch. Though she didn't resist me, she made no move on her own. It was as though she were drugged. Her silent mind was frustrating enough and her recent ability to hide her emotions was even worse. _This_ , though, was different. Something was wrong, but I had no way of knowing what it was.

Trying to contain my impatience, I sat on the couch and pulled her body next to mine. Her hand was limp and unresponsive in mine. I traced a finger up her arm, along her shoulder, to her warm neckline. Even her body seemed to be ignoring me, her heart continuing to beat its steady rhythm with no change at my touch.

Bella's eyes were fixed on the window as I sat beside her, watching her watch the rain. Attempting to figure out what was bothering her, I considered the possibilities. She'd been silent since Alice told her about the party. The last party she'd been to had ended in disaster. Jasper had nearly killed her and I had left her. Did she fear a repeat? Shouldn't she know by now that I couldn't leave her again?

Well over an hour passed while Bella sat motionless beside me, lost in her thoughts. Unless something changed, and soon, I was going to have to _make_ her respond.

Finally, she reacted to whatever thoughts she'd been having. Her face paled and her breathing stopped. I waited, but it didn't restart.

"Bella?"

She didn't respond.

"Bella. _Bella."_ Nothing. I put my hands on either side of her face and turned her so that she was looking at me. She seemed startled when she met my eyes.

"Would you please tell me what you are thinking? _Before_ I go mad?" I begged her. She blinked, but didn't breathe, didn't speak. Her brows furrowed, but she remained silent.

"Your lips are white. Talk, Bella," I prompted her again. She let her breath out in a huge gust that blew warm and rich across my face. Relieved that she was breathing again, at least, I waited for her to speak.

"The date took me off guard. That's all."

Surprised and uncomprehending, I watched her, waiting – hoping – for an explanation.

"I'm not sure what to do… what to tell Charlie… what to say… how to…" she trailed off.

Confused, I asked, "This isn't about the party?" I'd been certain she was reliving the disastrous results of the last party Alice had thrown.

She frowned. "No. But thanks for reminding me."

I watched her face, read the emotions that were finally showing. There was worry and fear in her eyes. If it wasn't the party, there was only one other reason that I could think of for her to fear graduation; the same reason that I did. She said she didn't know what to do or say. She was afraid to say goodbye to her father, to her life.

"You're not ready," I concluded.

"I am," she countered, too quickly. I didn't point out her lie, but I heard it as well as she did. "I have to be," she finally said.

"You don't have to be anything," I insisted.

Her eyes were wide and full of fear. "Victoria, Jane, Caius, whoever was in my room…!" she protested.

"All the more reason to wait," I said, stubbornly.

"That doesn't make any sense, Edward!" she shook her head.

My hands still on either side of her face, making sure she was looking at me, hearing what I had to say, I spoke slowly, desperate for her to understand, to wait.

"Bella. Not one of us had a choice. You've seen what it's done… to Rosalie especially. We've all struggled, trying to reconcile ourselves with something we had no control over. I won't let it be that way for you. You _will_ have a choice."

"I've already made my choice," she insisted.

Yes, she'd chosen to die, to join me in this strange afterlife, but not to join _with_ me, not to marry me.

I shook my head. "You aren't going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take care of the problems, and I will take care of you. When we're through it, and there is nothing forcing your hand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to. But not because you're afraid. You won't be forced into this."

"Carlisle promised," she said, softly, but there was a hint of relief in her eyes that she was unable to hide from me. "After graduation."

"Not until you're ready. And definitely not while you feel threatened," I vowed to her.

She didn't protest again. The color came back to her face and I felt relief that she was accepting my words.

"There," I said softly and kissed her forehead. "Nothing to worry about."

"Nothing but impending doom," she said with a shaky laugh.

"Trust me," I begged her.

"I do," she said, and I believed her. She was still tense, though, bothered by something. I watched her, trying to figure out what it could be, but her emotions were hidden again. Her silent mind was as frustrating and fascinating as always.

"Can I ask you something?" she said, suddenly.

"Anything."

She chewed on her lip, and I wondered if she was going to speak what was really on her mind, or change her words. Finally she spoke. "What am I getting Alice for graduation?"

Laughing, I told her what I'd seen in Alice's mind. "It looked like you were getting us both concert tickets – "

"That's right!" she interrupted me with a hint of a smile. "The concert in Tacoma. I saw an ad in the paper last week, and I thought it would be something you'd like, since you said it was a good CD."

"It's a great idea. Thank you," I said, pleased.

"I hope it's not sold out," she worried with a frown.

"It's the thought that counts. I ought to know," I teased her.

She sighed, but her eyes still held concern in them.

"There's something else you meant to ask," I guessed.

"You're good," she admitted with a frown.

"I have lots of practice reading your face. Ask me," I prompted her, hoping she would really tell me what was bothering her. She closed her eyes and leaned in to me. Although glad for her touch, I was frustrated; unable to see her face, I couldn't even try to read her emotions.

She pressed her face against my chest and whispered, "You don't want me to be a vampire."

Surprised, I agreed with her, "No, I don't." She didn't continue. She already knew that I didn't want her to be like me, though, so I pressed her. "That's not a question."

"Well… I was worrying about… _why_ you feel that way." Her voice was quiet, shy.

"Worrying?" I didn't understand. She was worried about why I didn't want her to be a _killer?_

"Would you tell me why? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?"

I paused, unable to see why she didn't understand already. "If I answer your question, will you then _explain_ your question?" I begged her. I felt her nod against my chest.

I breathed deeply, trying to figure out how to explain it to her in a way I hadn't before, so that she would understand, since she apparently didn't yet.

"You could do so much better, Bella," I began. "I know that _you_ believe I have a soul, but I'm not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours…" I shook my head, angered at the way my all-consuming and inexcusable _need_ for her would end her life. "For me to allow this – to let you become what I am just so that I'll never have to lose you – is the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything," I admitted. "For _myself_. But for you, I want so much more. Giving in – it feels criminal. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do, even if I live forever.

"If there were any way for me to become human for you – no matter what the price was, I would pay it."

For a moment, she lay perfectly still against me. Then, strangely, I felt her body warming against me.

"So… it's not that you're afraid you won't… like me as much when I'm different – when I'm not soft and warm and I don't smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn out?"

I felt like someone had hit me and my breath escaped me in a sharp gasp. "You were worried I wouldn't _like_ you?" Didn't she understand how completely and irrevocably I loved her, would _always_ love her? I started laughing. My silly, insecure Bella thought that I would stop loving her when she was a vampire. "Bella, for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse!" She never did see herself clearly.

"I don't think you realize how much easier it will be for me, Bella, when I don't have to concentrate all the time on not killing you." Although I knew I would never be able to drink her blood, I still had to constantly mind my actions. I couldn't squeeze her as tightly as I wanted, had to make sure my movements were slow and controlled, had to seem human so that I didn't accidentally crush her.

"Certainly, there are things I'll miss. This for one…" I tilted her face up to me and saw the smile still on her face. I looked into her beautiful eyes, wishing they would stay brown for eternity. Lightly brushing my fingers across her cheek, I laughed as her body responded to my touch once more, her cheeks turning pink as the blood swirled up to her skin.

"And the sound of your heart," I paused listening to the beat. "It's the most significant sound in my world. I'm so attuned to it now, I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of these things matter. _This_ ," I cradled her face in my hands. " _You_. That's what I'm keeping. You'll always be my Bella, you'll just be a little more durable," I finished with a smile.

She sighed and her eyes closed. Her face in my hands was so trusting. A smile played at the corner of her lips and I thought she might understand how much I loved her. I hoped she did. I would want her forever. I wanted her to be mine, like I was hers. Completely.

With her face still held in my hands, I spoke again. "Now will you answer a question for me? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?"

"Of course," she said instantly, her eyes met mine again, a look of bewildered confusion on her face.

Trying to contain my nerves, and to keep the hurt out of my voice, I spoke slowly, making certain she heard each word. "You don't want to be my wife."

I heard her heart stutter to a halt, then it began to race. Her body temperature changed under my hands, flushing hot, then cold as the blood rushed away from her face. She was afraid to answer me and I felt again that the reason was Jacob, and she didn't want to admit it to me.

Finally, her voice barely audible in the silent room, she said, "That's not a question."

I looked away from her eyes, pressed my lips together. She didn't deny it; she _didn't_ want to be my wife. Taking my hands away from her face, I picked up her left hand and stroked my fingers along hers, imagining my mother's ring resting on her slender finger.

Eventually, I repeated her words back to her. "I was worrying about why you felt that way."

"That's not a question, either," she evaded.

"Please, Bella?" I begged her.

"The truth?" she whispered.

"Of course. I can take it, whatever it is," I assured her. I _had_ to know.

"You're going to laugh at me," she muttered.

Astonished, I met her eyes again. "Laugh? I cannot imagine that." No reason on Earth explaining why she didn't want to marry me would ever be amusing.

"You'll see," she grumbled and her body turned hot against me, the blood rushing to her cheeks again. "Okay, fine! I'm sure this will sound like some big joke to you, but really! It's just so… so… so _embarrassing!"_

She ducked her face against my chest. I was frozen. I had always thought she was as pleased to be by my side as I was to have her there. Now she said she was embarrassed by me?

"I'm not following you," I said, frowning.

She looked up at me, her expression furious, the flush in her cheeks due to her anger now.

"I'm not _that girl_ , Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who got knocked up by her boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what century this is? People don't just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn't going to be that girl! That's not who I am…"

Her words, at first flowing and harsh, slowed and eventually trailed off. We watched each other as I attempted to make sense of what she was saying. She wasn't embarrassed by _me_ , but by the concept – marriage. She hadn't mentioned Jacob, and I thought that he hadn't even crossed her mind as she struggled to answer me.

It was what people would think of _her_.

That made a kind of sense; the teens of most eras were overly concerned about appearances and what others were thinking. As if any of those silly, ridiculous humans mattered when we were planning on leaving them behind for good when she was changed. Let them believe her to be pregnant; the truth would be proven soon enough when it became all too clear that she was not.

"That's all?" I eventually asked.

"Isn't that enough?"

Not wanting to admit to my jealousy of Jacob, I picked another worry. "It's not that you were… more eager for immortality itself than for just me?"

I was shocked when laughter bubbled up from her and she was abruptly giggling and incapable of speech. In the face of her laughter, my concerns suddenly seemed silly.

"Edward!" she managed to say between giggles. "And here… I always… thought that… you were… so much… _smarter_ than me!"

Her laughter was contagious and I found myself shaking with amusement along with her. I wrapped my arms around her, relieved.

Calming slightly, she shook her head and looked at me, saying, "Edward, there's no point to forever without you. I wouldn't want one day without you."

"Well, that's a relief," I chuckled.

"Still… it doesn't change anything."

"It's nice to understand, though. And I do understand your perspective, Bella, truly I do. But I'd like it very much if you'd try to consider mine."

Her eyes were locked with mine and the unconscious line between her brows formed, but she nodded her willingness to listen.

Not releasing her eyes, I tried to explain. "You see, Bella, I was always _that boy._ In my world, I was already a man. I wasn't looking for love – no, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that." I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice. How ignorant I had been of what it would have meant to join the war, to become the killer I hated being now. In my desperate attempt at gaining my father's approval, I had only considered how proud he'd be when I returned home a hero. "I thought of nothing but the idealized glory of the war that they were selling prospective draftees then – but if I had found…"

I trailed off for a moment and cocked my head at her. I tried to imagine myself meeting some girl then, but the only face I could see was Bella's. I was hers and had always been, even before she had been born. There had never been any other woman for me.

"I was going to say if I had found _someone_ , but that won't do. If I had found _you_ , there isn't a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was _that boy,_ who would have – as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for – gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations." I felt one corner of my mouth lift up in a rueful half-smile.

Bella's chocolate eyes were still locked with mine. As I spoke, her heart began to race and her breathing stopped. "Breathe, Bella," I told her, my half-grin widening at her reaction to me.

"Can you see my side, Bella, even a little bit?" I pleaded with her.

Our worlds were so different. When I had been human, no one would have thought anything of a girl getting married at eighteen except that she was doing the respectful thing and starting a family, hopefully with a good man. A hundred years later, and an eighteen year old girl getting married meant something similar – a girl starting a family – but as she had pointed out to me, it wasn't seen as respectful, but irresponsible. We would be viewed as kids having kids. A hundred years from now, who knew? And, a hundred years from now, what would the opinions of these humans who lived here and now matter?

I watched her as she considered my words. Though her eyes never left mine, I felt that she was seeing something I could not; an image of her own that my words had conjured and I felt myself wishing – as I so often did – that I could just read her mind. What I wouldn't give to know, to see what picture my words had painted for her.

Her voice trembled when she finally spoke. "The thing is, Edward, in my mind, _marriage_ and _eternity_ are not mutually exclusive or mutually inclusive concepts. And since we're living in my world for the moment, maybe we should go with the times, if you know what I mean."

I argued with her, "But on the other hand, you will soon be leaving time behind altogether. So why should the transitory customs of one local culture affect the decision so much?"

Her mouth twisted. "When in Rome?"

I laughed at her stubbornness. "You don't have to say yes or no today, Bella. It's good to understand both sides, though, don't you think?" No matter how much I would love to have her yes, I knew I had to practice patience.

"So your condition…?" she prompted me.

"Is still in effect," I assured her. "I do see your point, Bella, but if you want me to change you myself…"

"Dum, dum, dah-dum," she hummed in a melancholy imitation of the wedding march.


	18. Newborns

**Newborns**

Just before dawn, I slipped out of Bella's bedroom and ran back to my house to change and retrieve my car. I'd left her safety in the care of Carlisle who had just finished his night shift. I found Esme in the living room, watching the food network. She was watching _Good Eats_ , picking up some tips for the party that Alice was planning.

"Good morning, Esme," I greeted her. "What's cooking?"

"Alton Brown is sharing his secrets for the perfect cheese dip."

"Yummy," I said, my nose wrinkling. No matter how I tried, I couldn't get past my distaste for human food. She just laughed at me as I took the stairs three at a time up to my room. Though I did my best not to hear their thoughts, I was unable to prevent myself from hearing Alice and Jasper's conversation as I passed by their room.

"None of this is your fault, Alice," he was saying in a low voice.

"It isn't, but it _is._ I'm _supposed_ to see!"

"And you will, whenever there is something to be seen," he tried to reassure her.

"Like all of the people dying in Seattle? Shouldn't I be able to see them?"

"You don't know those people, nor do you know this vampire who is killing them. How do you expect to see them? If they are newborn, there's likely very little decision behind the deaths. Just killing on the spur of the moment. The humans in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I'm missing something," she insisted.

"Do you see people dying in Canada? Or Mexico? How about all of the people the European vampires kill daily? No. You don't."

"This is different."

"You see the party, right?"

"You know I do."

"And all of us there?"

"Yes, yes. Practically the whole damn town is there," she answered in a surly voice.

"So obviously we don't go to Seattle this weekend, no matter what Emmett says."

"He's convinced that he's going, but I don't see him. I don't really see Seattle at all!"

"You don't see him because he doesn't go."

"I'm missing something," she repeated.

"Hun…"

"Don't!"

"Listen to me. There is nothing wrong with your vision. You still see. You're looking for something that won't happen, so how can you see it?"

"I see superficial things. I see the party, the weather tomorrow, the outfit I'm getting Bella for graduation. I _don't_ see the things that matter! I can't see Victoria coming. I can't see the Volturi coming, even though we all know they will! They have to, unless we stop whatever is going on, but I don't see that either!"

She flung the door open and found me there, in the act of walking past their room. She paused and met my eyes defiantly. I was sure if she were human, she'd be crying. Her chin lifted and she stormed past me without speaking. I met Jasper's troubled eyes briefly and continued on to my room.

I wasn't sure what to make of Alice's visions – or lack thereof. They were based on decisions, yes, but also upon actions. Though Emmett had decided a dozen times to go to Seattle, he never actually _did_. We were all worried about the situation in Seattle, but Emmett was a man of action and hated sitting around waiting. Rose wasn't helping matters. She hated that he was so eager to go, to involve himself with something so potentially dangerous when it wasn't really our business.

I agreed with Emmett and tried to convince the others that we needed to put a stop to the killing. Seattle was too close to Forks. There was nothing preventing the vampire from moving on. What if they came this way? I knew only too well the way that Bella drew danger toward herself. Jasper reminded me that she was never without protection. Even if the vampire should the vampire come to our town, they would never get close to Bella without us knowing and stopping them.

Carlisle had specifically forbidden me to go, knowing how my recent encounter with a vampire had ended. He was unwilling to let me put myself into a situation where I might kill again. Esme grieved over the human deaths, but she repeated to me words which she had used in the past. Nothing was worth what becoming a killer again would do to me. She wanted them stopped, though, even if she didn't want any of her children to be the ones to do it. Carlisle had been frantic with worry when she'd suggested going herself. The house had been full of arguments for and against going to Seattle since the events in the city had first come to our attention.

I dressed, eagerly anticipating the end of high school. I was so tired of the classes and of the students there. I looked forward to the uninterrupted time I'd get to spend with Bella over the summer and wondered how long I'd be able to delay her change.

When I returned to Bella's house, Charlie had already left for the day. I knocked, but got no answer. I listened for any sounds from within the house and heard the rhythmic thumping of Bella's heart. There was something off about the sound, a flutter of fear, or stress. I knew that she'd been protected every second and certainly couldn't be in danger, but I felt an icy shaft of fear when she didn't answer after I knocked a second time, louder. I was unable to prevent the images of a vampire somehow managing to sneak past all of the wolves and vampires guarding the town at large and her house specifically.

I tried the door and found it unlocked. There were no unfamiliar scents within and I followed the sound of Bella's heart into the kitchen, unable to prevent my feelings of intense relief at seeing her safe. She was focused on reading the paper. I leaned against the doorway, watching her with a smile. My smile vanished as I took in her expression and heard the pace of her heart continue to increase. The paper made a rustling sound, and I realized it was shaking due to the trembling of her hands.

"Bella?"

She whirled to face me with a gasp, her eyes wide and full of fear. Moving quickly to her side, I reached for her hand, pulling her against me.

"Did I startle you? I'm sorry. I did knock…" I explained.

"No, no," she denied and pointed to the paper she'd been reading. "Have you seen this?"

"I hadn't seen today's news yet. But I knew it was getting worse. We're going to have to do something… quickly." The longer this went on, the more I agreed with Emmett. We needed to put a stop to the killing in Seattle, one way or another. Frowning, I remembered how I'd felt when I'd killed while tracking Victoria, but I knew – as I had known then – that I would kill to protect Bella.

Needing to see what had frightened her so badly, I looked over the article she'd been reading.

**Seattle Terrorized By Slayings**

**It's been less than a decade since the city of Seattle was the hunting ground for the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history. Gary Ridgeway, the Green River Killer, was convicted of the murders of 48 women.**

**And now a beleaguered Seattle must face the possibility that it could be harboring an even more horrifying monster at this very moment.**

**The police are not calling the recent rash of homicides and disappearances the work of a serial killer. Not yet, at least. They are reluctant to believe so much carnage could be the work of one individual. This killer – if, in fact, it is one person – would then be responsible for 39 linked homicides and disappearances within the last three months alone. In comparison, Ridgeway's 48-count murder spree was scattered over a 21-year period. If these deaths can be linked to one man, then this is the most violent rampage of serial murder in American history.**

**The police are leaning instead toward the theory that gang activity is involved. This theory is supported by the sheer number of victims, and by the fact that there seems to be no pattern in the choice of victims. From Jack the Ripper to Ted Bundy, the targets of serial killings are usually connected by similarities in age, gender, race, or a combination of the three. The victims of this crime wave range in age from 15-year-old honor student Amanda Reed, to 67-year-old retired postman Omar Jenks. The linked deaths include a nearly even 18 women and 21 men. The victims are racially diverse: Caucasians, African Americans, Hispanics, and Asians.**

**The selection appears random. The motive seems to be killing for no other reason than to kill. So why even consider the idea of a serial killer?**

**There are enough similarities in the modus operandi to rule out unrelated crimes. Every victim discovered has been burned to the extent that dental records were necessary for identification. The use of some kind of accelerant, like gasoline or alcohol, seems to be indicated in the conflagrations; however, no traces of any accelerant have yet been found. All of the bodies have been carelessly dumped with no attempt at concealment.**

**More gruesome yet, most of the remains show evidence of brutal violence – bones crushed and snapped by some kind of tremendous pressure – which medical examiners believe occurred before the time of death, though these conclusions are difficult to be sure of, considering the state of the evidence.**

**Another similarity that points to the possibility of a serial; every crime scene is perfectly clean of evidence, aside from the remains themselves. Not a fingerprint, not a tire tread mark, nor a foreign hair is left behind. There have been no sightings of any suspect in the disappearances.**

**Then there are the disappearances themselves – hardly low profile by any means. None of the victims are what could be viewed as easy targets. None are runaways or the homeless, who vanish so easily and are seldom reported missing. Victims have vanished from their homes, from a fourth-story apartment, from a health club, from a wedding reception. Perhaps the most astounding: 30-year-old amateur boxer Robert Walsh entered a movie theater with a date; a few minutes into the movie, the woman realized that he was not in his seat. His body was found only three hours later when fire fighters were called to the scene of a burning trash Dumpster, twenty miles away.**

**Another pattern is present in the slayings: all of the victims disappeared at night.**

**And the most alarming pattern? Acceleration. Six of the homicides were committed in the first month, 11 in the second. Twenty-two have occurred in the last 10 days alone. And the police are no closer to finding the responsible party than they were after the first charred body was discovered.**

**The evidence is conflicting, the pieces horrifying. A vicious new gang or a wildly active serial killer? Or something else the police haven't yet conceived of?**

**Only one conclusion is indisputable: something hideous is stalking Seattle.**

Before I had even finished reading the article, I understood fully why Bella had been trembling. The numbers were terrible, but I knew that even these were not all. The ones that were obviously connected pointed to the pattern the humans observed, but we'd been seeing an increase in accidental deaths and in deaths connected to other crimes – like robberies turned fatal. And of course the police couldn't conceive of the truth: Seattle was being stalked by more than one newborn vampire.

"What does Alice say?" she asked me.

"That's the problem," I said, thinking of the conversation I'd overheard between her and Jasper. "She can't see anything… though we've made up our minds half a dozen times to check it out. She's starting to lose confidence. She feels like she's missing too much these days, that something's wrong. That maybe her vision is slipping away."

Bella's eyes grew wide as I spoke. "Can that happen?"

I shrugged. "Who knows? No one's ever done a study…" I teased, trying to lighten her fear, but I saw her press her lips together and continued, "but I really doubt it. These things tend to intensify over time. Look at Aro and Jane."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Self-fulfilling prophesy, I think. We keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go… and she doesn't see anything because we won't really go until she does. So she can't see us there. Maybe we'll have to do it blind."

"No," Bella protested with a shudder.

I thought again about the situation in Seattle, how we were certain the vampire killing there was a newborn, and more than one at that. I didn't think I could take having to sit through yet another lecture in school.

"Did you have a strong desire to attend class today?" I asked her, coming to a sudden decision. "We're only a couple of days from finals; they won't be giving us anything new."

"I think I can live without school for a day," she agreed to my relief. "What are we doing?"

"I want to talk to Jasper." I saw confusion in her eyes, but I couldn't explain without getting into too many details, so I pulled her out to my car and drove back home.

Carlisle had joined Esme on the couch, and they, and Jasper, were all watching the news. Alice was sitting on the bottom step of our staircase, her face buried in her hands. I got the sense from her that she was still as close to tears as a vampire could get and could feel her grief and fear through Jasper's mind.

"Hey, Edward," Emmett greeted me as he strolled into the living room. _The town's secure,_ he informed me, having just gotten back from his run. "Ditching, Bella?" he asked her with a grin.

"We both are."

"Yes, but it's _her_ first time through high school. She might miss something," he laughed.

I rolled my eyes at his undiminished enthusiasm and tossed the paper I'd taken from Charlie's house to Carlisle.

"Did you see that they're considering a serial killer now?"

"They've had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning," he nodded toward the television with a sigh.

Firmly, needing them to see that we _had_ to act, I said "This can't go on."

Emmett agreed with me instantly. "Let's go now." Then, his humor kicking in, he complained, "I'm dead bored."

Rosalie hissed in fury from their room upstairs.

"She's such a pessimist," he grumbled.

"We'll have to go sometime," I directed my comment toward her. She left the room and came downstairs, walking slowly, deliberately.

 _Why? Why should we_ have _to go? What are those humans to me that I should allow Emmett to risk his life?_

Carlisle, too, argued against going, as he had before. "I'm concerned. We've never involved ourselves in this kind of thing before. It's not our business. We aren't the Volturi."

"I don't want the Volturi to have to come here. It gives us so much less reaction time," I insisted.

"And all those innocent humans in Seattle," Esme argued. "It's not right to let them die this way." I wondered if she had been part of the conversation before – when I had told everyone of Sam's offer – whether we would have gone then rather than waiting. Of course, at the time the numbers had been far fewer than they were now.

"I know," Carlisle said, understanding his mate's gentle nature.

Jasper, who had been focusing on the news and ignoring the repetitive argument, was counting the deaths, considering the times and methods.

… _more than one, for certain …fear that it is even bigger than we first suspected. This isn't two or three out of control newborns, this is an entire_ coven. _They are breeding …numbers of dead are increasing because the number of killers are, too._

Understanding dawned on me in horror. "Oh. I didn't think of that. I see. You're right, that has to be it. Well, that changes everything."

 _Edward,_ Emmett's thoughts groaned at me.

 _Can you be any_ more _cryptic?_ Rose thought furiously.

Annoyed, I spoke to Jasper, "I think you'd better explain to the others." Turning to pace, I grumbled to myself, "What could be the purpose of this?" I'd seen a newborn coven before, but they had been under the control of an older vampire who'd used them for her own ends.

Leaving the step where she'd been seated, Alice was at Jasper's side almost instantly, "What is he rambling about? What are you thinking?" _Please tell me I haven't missed something else!_

Jasper looked around at our family, feeling their emotions, before finally focusing on Bella. Through him, I felt their annoyance – directed at me, of course – and their fear at whatever conclusion I'd heard Jasper draw, the conclusion that changed everything.

"You're confused," he said to Bella.

"We're all confused," Emmett groused.

"You can afford the time to be patient," Jasper chided him. "Bella should understand this, too. She's one of us now."

Once again, through him, I felt Bella's emotions. She was surprised and gratified. I knew Jasper had tried to make amends with her, but apparently she still didn't see how every member of my family loved her. I shook my head, wishing I could make her see how amazing she was.

Jasper ignored me and turned to Bella. "How much do you know about me, Bella?"

"Not much," she said while Emmett heaved a big sigh and plopped on the couch to wait.

Jasper locked his eyes on mine. _You never told her how I came to join your family?_

"No. I'm sure you can understand why I haven't told her that story. But I suppose she needs to hear it now."

Anxiously, I watched Bella's face as Jasper prepared to tell her his history. Unlike the rest of us, who would wear short sleeved shirts, Jasper always wore long sleeves and high collared shirts, hiding as much of his skin as possible. Nodding to himself, he rolled up one of the sleeves that hid his skin from view and held his arm under the circle of light cast by the lamp he was standing near. With one finger, he traced the outline of a raised crescent mark on his skin.

We, all of us, including Bella, had identical marks. Emmett and I hid ours under wide bands we wore on our wrists. But that single mark was easy to hide. Jasper's arms were covered in such scars.

Bella stared at his arm for a moment before comprehending what she was seeing. "Oh," she said softly. "Jasper, you have a scar exactly like mine." She held her arm under the light, showing the scar she would always carry. The scar that was a reminder of when I had failed to protect her. The scar that James had inflicted upon her the previous year in her old dance studio.

"I have a lot of scars like yours, Bella," he corrected her as he pushed his shirt sleeve farther up his arm and angled it so that the thousand various bite marks shimmered, their raised edges catching the light and casting shadows upon his skin. Where my own granite skin was smooth, he looked more like a map of the moon, his skin cratered and carved up due to the thousands of bites he'd received during his near century of war.

Bella looked in horror back and forth between her scar and the many upon Jasper's arm. "Jasper," she finally said in a whisper as she met his eyes, "what _happened_ to you?"


	19. Jasper

**Jasper**

"The same thing that happened to your hand. Repeated a thousand times." His voice was quiet and he laughed softly as he rubbed a finger over the map of bites that would forever scar his arm. "Our venom is the only thing that leaves a scar."

" _Why?"_ Bella gasped, still staring at the scars covering his arm. I imagined she found it difficult to understand how he could be so scarred, yet still alive. Even I - who had seen where he had gotten the scars, how he had earned them, as well as his own life and freedom in the process - found it hard to believe.

"I didn't have quite the same… upbringing as my adopted siblings here. My beginning was something else entirely." I saw him recalling the thousands of humans and vampires he'd killed, witnessed his memory of their fear and terror as he'd felt them die. I'd seen the same things in Maria's memory when I'd visited her while tracking Victoria, but it was different seeing the memory through his eyes and I held back a shudder. It didn't matter how often I watched him relive those days, they never failed to horrify me. Abruptly I felt a wave of gratitude that Carlisle had been my creator.

Glancing at my father, I saw him studying his newest son with sadness in his eyes. I managed to catch his eyes and gave him a quick half-smile before we turned our attention back to Jasper and Bella. Her mouth was hanging open and a look of horror was on her face. I wondered if hearing his story would affect her desire to become a vampire and watched her unconscious expressions closely.

"Before I tell you my story, you must understand that there are places in _our_ world, Bella, where the life span of the never-aging is measured in weeks, and not centuries.

"To really understand why, you have to look at the world from a different perspective. You have to imagine the way it looks to the powerful, the greedy… the perpetually thirsty." The rest of my family was familiar with his story and returned their attention to the television and the debate still going on there.

"You see, there are places in this world that are more desirable to us than others. Places where we can be less restrained, and still avoid detection.

"Picture, for instance, a map of the western hemisphere. Picture on it every human life as a small red dot. The thicker the red, the more easily we – well, those who exist this way – can feed without attracting notice."

I watched Bella shudder in response to the image he was painting for her. I knew she didn't see my family as truly being _vampires_ despite Jasper's previous attack on her birthday. That had been an instinctive reaction. What he was describing was the lifestyle that most of our kind lived. We were killers, hunting humans for their blood.

"Not that the covens in the South care much for what the humans notice or do not. It's the Volturi that keep them in check. They are the only ones the southern covens fear. If not for the Volturi, the rest of us would be quickly exposed."

Bella frowned at Jasper's repeated mention of the Italian coven. I knew she would never forget her trip there, how we had both almost died, and how she had witnessed them slaughter dozens of humans in one meal. I had to hold myself firmly in place to avoid the desire to take her away from those memories, but I knew that she needed to hear this.

"The North is, by comparison, very civilized. Mostly we are nomads here who enjoy the day as well as the night, who allow humans to interact with us unsuspectingly – anonymity is important to us all.

"It's a different world in the South. The immortals there come out only at night. They spend the day plotting their next move, or anticipating their enemy's. Because it has been war in the South, constant war for centuries, with never one moment of truce. The covens there barely note the existence of humans, except as soldiers notice a herd of cows by the wayside – food for the taking. They only hide from the notice of the herd because of the Volturi."

"But what are they fighting for?" Bella's voice was a trembling whisper.

Jasper smiled grimly. "Remember the map with the red dots?" When Bella nodded, he continued, "They fight for control of the thickest red."

"You see, it occurred to someone once that, if he were the only vampire in, let's say Mexico City, well then, he could feed every night, twice, three times, and no one would ever notice. He plotted ways to get rid of the competition.

"Others had the same idea. Some came up with more effective tactics than others. But the _most_ effective tactic was invented by a fairly young vampire named Benito. The first time anyone ever heard of him, he came down from somewhere north of Dallas and massacred the two small covens that shared the area near Houston. Two nights later, he took on the much stronger clan of allies that claimed Monterrey in northern Mexico. Again, he won."

Ever curious, Bella asked, "How did he win?"

"Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control. One newborn can be reasoned with, taught to restrain himself, but ten, fifteen together are a nightmare. They'll turn on each other as easily as on the enemy you point them at. Benito had to keep making more as they fought amongst themselves, and as the covens he decimated took more than half his force down before they lost."

Clenching my teeth together as he spoke, I fought down the image of Bella that had been in Alice's mind since the day I'd saved her from the van. Bella, cold and hard, her eyes a vivid red. Staring unseeing at the television, this image was again in her mind, a newborn Bella with bright red eyes, running, hunting. Wild. Just like all newborns.

 _No. Please,_ I thought in despair. Jasper glanced at me, feeling my misery, but unable to see what had caused it.

"You see," he continued, "though newborns are dangerous, they are still possible to defeat if you know what you're doing. They're incredibly powerful physically, for the first year or so, and if they're allowed to bring strength to bear, they can crush an older vampire with ease. But they are slaves to their instincts, and thus predictable. Usually, they have no skill in fighting, only muscle and ferocity. And in this case, overwhelming numbers."

Jasper's voice was even, not revealing any of the intense emotions that I was aware were raging through him at that moment. Reliving his past was painful for him. He was keeping tight control over them, but I could feel their effect as they began to leak from his control. Bella's body began to tremble like a leaf on a tree, but Jasper didn't notice, his attention caught in the things he remembered.

"The vampires in southern Mexico realized what was coming for them, and they did the only thing they could think of to counteract Benito. They made armies of their own…

"All hell broke loose – and I mean that more literally than you can possibly imagine. We immortals have our histories, too, and this particular war will never be forgotten. Of course, it was not a good time to be a human in Mexico, either."

Bella shuddered more violently at his words and Jasper recalled his audience. I was aware of her disgust through Jasper's mind, but refrained from stopping him.

"When the body count reached epidemic proportions – in fact, your histories blame a disease for the population slump – the Volturi finally stepped in. The entire guard came together and sought out every newborn in the bottom half of North America. Benito was entrenched in Puebla, building his army as quickly as he could in order to take on the prize – Mexico City. The Volturi started with him, and then moved on to the rest.

"Anyone who was found with the newborns was executed immediately and, since everyone was trying to protect themselves from Benito, Mexico was emptied of vampires for a time.

"The Volturi were cleaning house for almost a year. This was another chapter of our history that will always be remembered, though there were very few witnesses left to speak of what it was like. I spoke to someone once who had, from a distance, watched what happened when they visited Culiacán."

I could see the images in his mind as he spoke, remembering the conversation he'd had with the witness and the vivid descriptions they had shared with him. I'd met Jane and her twin brother Alec, had seen for myself the brutality of the Italian coven, and could easily picture the scene as though I had been there to witness it.

Alec would blanket the area with his talent, turning every vampire within his range deaf and blind. Of course, they could still feel if he wished, and Jane would stand beside him and burn the newborns and their creators with her mind. The members of the guard who had accompanied the two for their physical prowess would turn their attention to whichever vampire was writhing and screaming. The screaming would stop when their heads parted with their shoulders, even if the reason for their screams continued on. Carefully keeping the body parts separate, each guard would gather a particular piece of the dismembered vampire.

Far too easily, I could imagine Felix and Demetri carrying huge burlap sacks filled with twitching arms or legs. Once all the newborns were torn apart, they would take the pieces away from the cities to be destroyed. The fire they would feel would no longer be limited to Jane's influence. I knew, because of the account Jasper had heard, that the guard member who held the sack full of heads would be the last one to add theirs to the fire.

And this happened in city after city for a _year_. No matter how strong the covens made themselves, no matter how many newborns they were able to make, even considering the inevitable talented ones, none could stand against the twins.

I felt a shudder rake through my body at the same time as I saw one pass through his.

"It was enough that the fever for conquest did not spread from the South. The rest of the world owes the Volturi for our present way of life. But when the Volturi went back to Italy, the survivors were quick to stake their claims in the South.

"It didn't take long before covens began to dispute again. There was a lot of bad blood, if you'll forgive the expression. Vendettas abounded. The idea of newborns was already there, and some were not able to resist. However, the Volturi had not been forgotten, and the southern covens were more careful this time. The newborns were selected from the human pool with more care, and given more training. They were used circumspectly, and the humans remained, for the most part, oblivious. Their creators gave the Volturi no reason to return.

"The wars resumed, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then, someone would go too far, speculation would begin in the human newspapers, and the Volturi would return and clean out the city. But they let the others, the careful ones, continue…"

"That's how you were changed," Bella concluded.

Jasper's attention returned to the audience he had all but forgotten and he looked at Bella once again. "Yes. When I was human, I lived in Houston, Texas. I was almost seventeen years old when I joined the Confederate Army in 1861. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was twenty. I was tall enough to get away with it.

"My military career was short-lived, but very promising. People always… liked me, listened to what I had to say. My father said it was charisma. Of course, now I know it was probably something more. But, whatever the reason, I was promoted quickly through the ranks, over older, more experienced men. The Confederate Army was new and scrambling to organize itself, so that provided opportunities, as well. By the first battle of Galveston – well, it was more of a skirmish, really – I was the youngest major in Texas, not even acknowledging my real age.

"I was placed in charge of evacuating the women and children from the city when the Union's mortar boats reached the harbor. It took a day to prepare them, and then I left with the first column of civilians to covey them to Houston.

"I remember that one night very clearly.

"We reached the city after dark. I stayed only long enough to make sure the entire party was safely situated. As soon as that was done, I got myself a fresh horse, and I headed back to Galveston. There wasn't time to rest.

"Just a mile outside the city, I found three women on foot. I assumed they were stragglers and dismounted at once to offer them my aid. But, when I could see their faces in the dim light of the moon, I was stunned into silence. They were, without question, the three most beautiful women I had ever seen.

"They had such pale skin, I remember marveling at it. Even the little black-haired girl, whose features were clearly Mexican, was porcelain in the moonlight. They seemed young, all of them, still young enough to be called girls. I knew they were not lost members of our party. I would have remembered seeing these three.

"'He's speechless,' the tallest girl said in a lovely, delicate voice – it was like wind chimes. She had fair hair, and her skin was snow white.

"The other was blonder still, her skin just as chalky. Her face was like an angel's. She leaned toward me with half-closed eyes and inhaled deeply.

"'Mmm,' she sighed. 'Lovely.'

"The small one, the tiny brunette, put her hand on the girl's arm and spoke quickly. Her voice was too soft and musical to be sharp, but that seemed to be the way she intended it.

"'Concentrate, Nettie,' she said.

"I'd always had a good sense of how people related to each other, and it was immediately clear that the brunette was somehow in charge of the others. If they'd been military, I would have said that she outranked them.

"'He looks right – young, strong, an officer…' the brunette paused, and I tried unsuccessfully to speak. 'And there's something more… do you sense it?' she asked the other two. 'He's… compelling.'

"'Oh, yes,' Nettie quickly agreed, leaning toward me again.

"'Patience,' the brunette cautioned her. 'I want to keep this one.'

"Nettie frowned; she seemed annoyed.

"You'd better do it, Maria,' the taller blonde spoke again. 'If he's important to you. I kill them twice as often as I keep them.'

"'Yes, I'll do it,' Maria agreed. 'I really do like this one. Take Nettie away, will you? I don't want to have to protect my back while I'm trying to focus.'

"My hair was standing up on the back of my neck, though I didn't understand the meaning of anything the beautiful creatures were saying. My instincts told me that there was danger, that the angel had meant it when she spoke of killing, but my judgment overruled my instincts. I had not been taught to fear women, but to protect them.

"Let's' hunt,' Nettie agreed enthusiastically, reaching for the tall girl's hand. They wheeled – they were so graceful! – and sprinted toward the city. They seemed to almost take flight, they were so fast – their white dresses blew out behind them like wings. I blinked in amazement, and they were gone.

"I turned to stare at Maria, who was watching me curiously.

"I'd never been superstitious in my life. Until that second, I'd never believed in ghosts or any other such nonsense. Suddenly, I was unsure.

"'What is your name, soldier?' Maria asked me.

"'Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am,' I stammered, unable to be impolite to a female, even if she was a ghost.

"'I truly hope you survive, Jasper,' she said in her gentle voice. 'I have a good feeling about you.'

"She took a step closer, and inclined her head as if she were going to kiss me. I stood frozen in place, though my instincts were screaming at me to run."

Unlike anyone else there, for whom Jasper's tale painted a very vivid picture, I was able to see his memories. The two blonds and the brunette were, in his mind, very like angels, though I knew them to be demons. Jasper had worshiped Maria as his creator and the leader of his coven for nearly a century, and his memory of her was colored with the remnants of the feelings he'd once had for her, but those feelings had soured over the years while he was forced to kill for her.

A soldier in war might have killed as many as Jasper had in his century of vampire warfare, but as an officer in the human army, he would have done so with a gun, shooting his enemy from across a field. Killing vampires was an intimate action, as I knew all too well. Tearing them limb from limb, hearing the screeching their bodies made as their arms and heads were pulled off, smelling the vile, icy stench of the smoke that rose from their bodies as they burned left him, and me, with the feeling of their deaths in all of our senses. This was true for any vampire who killed another, but for Jasper and me it was different. I could hear their dying thoughts, catch an echo of their senses, and he could feel their dying emotions. We did not just kill them, we experienced their deaths.

I had been watching Bella during Jasper's story, seeing her react to his soft words. When he'd spoken of Maria, Lucy, and Nettie and of their beauty, I could tell that she could see them as clearly as he could. Most of us did not have such clear memories of our human lives. Whether because of his empathy – his ability to feel the emotions of those around him – or if he had simply willed himself to hold on to them, these memories of his human life were nearly as clear as those of his vampire life.

Yet, as vivid as his human memories still were, they could not compare to the fires he'd felt as Maria's venom poisoned his body, killing him, turning him into the monster I knew us to be. Though I had explained to Bella how painful the transformation process was, and she'd had a taste of it when infected with James's venom, I could do without such a vivid recounting of his experience. For Jasper did not just feel the emotions of others, he could cause them to feel emotions as well, and he was leaking the terror he'd felt then, along with his guilt at killing.

I saw him glance at me, felt him sample my emotions. He was instantly remorseful at causing Bella and me such distress and realized he needed to skip over recounting the memory that was now vividly burning in his mind.

 _Sorry,_ he thought to me, then turned back to Bella. "A few days later, I was introduced to my new life.

"Their names were Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They hadn't been together long – Maria had rounded up the other two – all three were survivors of recently lost battles. Theirs was a partnership of convenience. Maria wanted revenge, and she wanted her territories back. The others were eager to increase their… herd lands, I suppose you could say. They were putting together an army, and going about it more carefully than was usual. It was Maria's idea. She wanted a superior army, so she sought out specific humans who had potential. Then she gave us much more training than anyone else had bothered with. She taught us to fight, and she taught us to me invisible to the humans. When we did well, we were rewarded…"

Forever torn between wanting to convince Bella to stay human, and the need to protect her from what I truly was, I didn't need for her to know exactly how drinking human blood affected us. How it made us stronger, faster, more deadly. And how it made those who were unable to go out and hunt for themselves more dependent upon the one who provided the prey, as in the cases of the newborns in the army. Newborns _needed_ to drink, and the threat of withholding blood was often punishment enough.

Simply giving them a human to drink was not exactly a reward, though. The strength and flavor of human blood varied widely, and there was a difference between age, gender, and even the humans' way of life that affected their taste. One who was constantly drunk or who smoked was far less appealing than one who was young and pure. I saw the flashes in his mind of Maria's "rewards" and was grateful when he skipped once again over the memories he chose to share with Bella.

"She was in a hurry, though. Maria knew that the massive strength of the newborn began to wane around the year mark, and she wanted to act while we were strong.

"There were six of us when I joined Maria's band. She added four more within a fortnight. We were all male – Maria wanted soldiers – and that made it slightly more difficult to keep from fighting amongst ourselves. I fought my first battles against my new comrades in arms. I was quicker than the others, better at combat. Maria was pleased with me, though put out that she had to keep replacing the ones I destroyed. I was rewarded often, and that made me stronger.

"Maria was a good judge of character. She decided to put me in charge of the others – as if I were being promoted. It suited my nature exactly. The casualties went down dramatically, and our numbers swelled to hover around twenty.

"This was considerable for the cautious times we lived in. My ability, as yet undefined, to control the emotional atmosphere around me was vitally effective. We soon began to work together in a way that newborn vampires had never cooperated before. Even Maria, Nettie, and Lucy were able to work together more easily.

"Maria grew quite fond of me – she began to depend upon me. And in some ways, I worshiped the ground she walked on. I had no idea that any other life was possible. Maria told us this was the way things were, and we believed.

"She asked me to tell her when my brothers and I were ready to fight, and I was eager to prove myself. I pulled together an army of twenty-three in the end – twenty-three unbelievably strong new vampires, organized and skilled as no others before. Maria was ecstatic.

"We crept down toward Monterrey, her former home, and she unleashed us on her enemies. They had only nine newborns at the time, and a pair of older vampires controlling them. We took them down more easily than Maria could believe, losing only four in the process. It was an unheard-of margin of victory.

"And we were well trained. We did it without attracting notice. The city changed hands without any human being aware.

"Success made Maria greedy. It wasn't long before she began to eye other cities. That first year, she extended her control to cover most of Texas and much of northern Mexico. Then the others came from the South to dislodge her.

"The fighting was intense. Many began to worry that the Volturi would return. Of the original twenty-three, I was the only one to survive the first eighteen months. We both won and lost. Nettie and Lucy turned on Maria eventually – but that one we won.

"Maria and I were able to hold on to Monterrey. It quieted a little, though the wars continued. The idea of conquest was dying out; it was mostly vengeance and feuding now. So many had lost their partners, and that is something our kind does not forgive…"

An image of Victoria's fierce face flashed through each of the minds around me. No, we didn't forgive a mate's loss easily. I knew I would never forgive anyone should they take Bella from me. Jasper shot a look at me and I knew he felt the stab of fear and rage that thought brought to me.

"Maria and I always kept a dozen or so newborns ready. They meant little to us – they were pawns, they were disposable. When they outgrew their usefulness, we _did_ dispose of them. My life continued in the same violent pattern and the years passed. I was sick of it all for a very long time before anything changed…

"Decades later, I developed a friendship with a newborn who'd remained useful and survived his first three years, against the odds. His name was Peter. I liked Peter; he was… civilized – I suppose that's the right word. He didn't enjoy the fight, though he was good at it.

"He was assigned to deal with the newborns – babysit them, you could say. It was a full-time job.

"And then it was time to purge again. The newborns were outgrowing their strength; they were due to be replaced. Peter was supposed to help me dispose of them. We took them aside individually, you see, one by one… It was always a very long night. This time, he tried to convince me that a few had potential, but Maria had instructed that we get rid of them all. I told him no.

"We were about halfway through, and I could feel that it was taking a great toll on Peter. I was trying to decide whether or not I should send him away and finish up myself as I called out the next victim. To my surprise, he was suddenly angry, furious. I braced for whatever his mood might foreshadow – he was a good fighter, but he was never a match for me.

"The newborn I'd summoned was a female, just past her year mark. Her name was Charlotte. His feelings changed when she came into view; they gave him away. He yelled for her to run, and he bolted after her. I could have pursued them, but I didn't. I felt… averse to destroying him.

"Maria was irritated with me for that…"

He hesitated again, fighting his memories of Maria punishing him. Though not the same punishment as it would have been for a newborn, she had refused to allow him to drink for weeks after Peter had left. Treason was not tolerated within any army, but she knew how valuable Jasper was, and that she needed him. Deciding to allow him to drink again, she chose instead, to inflict upon him a punishment she felt suitable to his crime. Settling for scarring him where he would be unable to remove the venom himself, Jasper knew Maria felt that he should consider himself grateful to have been granted his life. Hardly grateful for the months of pain she had forced him to endure before allowing his wounds to be tended to, he also felt a widening of the gap between them, and a lack of trust on Maria's part.

Jasper chose once again to skip over the harsh realities of his life as a soldier in Maria's army. "Five years later, Peter snuck back for me. He picked a good day to arrive.

"Maria was mystified by my ever-deteriorating frame of mind. She'd never felt a moment's depression, and I wondered why I was different. I began to notice a change in her emotions when she was near me – sometimes there was fear… and malice – the same feelings that had given me advance warning when Nettie and Lucy struck. I was preparing myself to destroy my only ally, the core of my existence, when Peter returned.

"Peter told me about his new life with Charlotte, told me about options I'd never dreamed I had. In five years, they'd never had a fight, though they'd met many others in the north. Others who could co-exist without the constant mayhem.

"In one conversation, he had me convinced. I was ready to go, and somewhat relieved I wouldn't have to kill Maria. I'd been her companion for as many years as Carlisle and Edward have been together, yet the bond between us was nowhere near as strong. When you live for the fight, for the blood, the relationships you form are tenuous and easily broken. I walked away without a backward glance.

"I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn't fade. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it was always worse after I'd hunted.

"I contemplated that. In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I'd lost nearly all of my humanity. I was undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind. Yet each time I found another human victim, I would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen in wonder at my beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me the last night that I was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me – this borrowed memory – than it was for anyone else, because I could _feel_ everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them.

"You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect _me._ I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey.

"It began to be too much.

"The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn't feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing – killing anyone, even mere humans."

Having spent four years living in much the same way that Jasper was describing, I understood all too well Jasper's struggles with controlling his thirst. However, I had always known there to be another option. Unlike Jasper, when the guilt of killing humans became too much for me to bear, I had been able to recommit myself to Carlisle's teachings. Jasper hadn't known there were any other options.

"Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline… challenging. I still haven't perfected that."

I could feel his remorse and watched him remember being overwhelmed by Bella's blood. Purposefully, I controlled my emotions, sent him a wave of love and the gratitude I felt knowing that he was my brother. I was aware of the rest of my family doing the same thing. Carlisle and Esme loved their troubled son, Emmett loved his sparring partner, and Rose loved Jasper in a way she did not love me – I had always irritated her. But from Alice, his mate, I knew he received a love that was nearly as strong as what I felt for Bella.

Smiling softly at the outpouring of love from his adopted family, he pushed away the melancholy that reliving his dark past had caused.

"I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day – something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little.

"She was there – expecting me, naturally." He was laughing now.

I saw Bella's lips pull up into a smile and the crease between her eyes disappeared. Jasper's story had always caused him pain, and my Bella was able to feel for him, even without his gift.

"She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me. It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt before.

"'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said."

As he spoke, Alice rose from the position she'd taken by Esme's feet and walked over to stand behind Bella.

Picking up the thread of the story, she said with a laugh, "And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, 'I'm sorry, ma'am'."

Matching his actions with his words, Jasper took Alice's hand with a smile. "You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope."

Returning his grin, Alice said, "I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up."

I watched Bella's eyes melt at the obvious love between the pair. I wanted to go to her, to take her hand in mine and see her love for me in her smile, but this was Jasper's story, and he needed to finish telling it so that we could get back to business.

"Alice told me what she'd seen of Carlisle and his family. I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them."

"Scared the hell out of them, too," I laughed. "Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak," I poked at Alice, who grinned back at me, "who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into. When I got home, all my things were in the garage." I rolled my eyes while Alice and Jasper laughed at the memory.

"Your room had the best view," she explained, complacently.

"That's a nice story," Bella said.

 _I've just told her about a century of killing and war and she says it's a 'nice story?' Edward, are you sure she's entirely sane?_ Jasper thought at me as we all stared at her.

No, I'd never been certain of her sanity. She had to be a little crazy to be so happy having a vampire as a boyfriend, but still…

"I meant the last part," she said, defensive. "The happy ending with Alice."

I had to hold back my laugh at her tone.

"Alice has made all the difference," Jasper nodded. "This is a climate I enjoy."

His story over, we were able to focus again on the problem at hand.

"An army," Alice whispered, appalled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

No longer watching the specialists debating on CNN, my entire family was again focused on Jasper.

"I thought I must be interpreting the signs incorrectly. Because where is the motive? Why would someone create an army in Seattle? There is no history there, no vendetta. It makes no sense from a conquest standpoint, either; no one claims it. Nomads pass through, but there's no one to _fight_ for it. No one to defend it from.

"But I've seen this before, and there's no other explanation. There is an army of newborn vampires in Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I'd guess. The difficult part is that they are totally untrained. Whoever made them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won't be much longer till the Volturi step in. Actually, I'm surprised they've let this go on so long."

"What can we do?" Carlisle asked.

"If we want to avoid the Volturi's involvement, we will have to destroy the newborns, and we will have to do it very soon." I saw him remembering the various fights he'd been in. In over a century of war he'd been in countless battles, and thousands of vampires had died at his hands. Jasper had never lost a fight, but he was not eager to begin fighting again. Wrestling with Emmett and myself was one thing. Killing was another. But, like me, he would kill to protect his mate.

"I can teach you how. It won't be easy in the city. The young ones aren't concerned about secrecy, but we will have to be. It will limit us in ways that they are not. Maybe we can lure them out," he mused.

I looked around at my family, appraising them as fighters. Jasper was undoubtedly dangerous. Emmett, too, was a fierce fighter, his strength rivaled that of the newborns we were contemplating fighting, but he was disciplined, where they were not. My ability to read minds gave me an unparalleled advantage. Alice, despite her tiny size, would be able to see the moves of an enemy and counteract them.

Though neither Rose nor Esme were particularly adept at fighting, their deep desire to protect their family would make up for their lack of training. Carlisle, too, would act to protect the family he had started. As our father, he was our leader, and I knew that – though he abhorred taking any life – he would not allow any of us to risk our lives without standing beside us, doing whatever it took to protect us.

We were an army, made all the more vicious because of our intense love for each other, for our unwavering desire to protect what we had.

 _We_ were a _threat_.

"Maybe we won't have to," I said, in realization. "Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is… us?"

Carlisle's eyes grew wide, shocked at my words. _But we don't hunt humans! What need would they have to feel threatened by us?_

As I had just done, Jasper was abruptly sizing us up as an army, noting each person's strengths and weaknesses, how they would best be used in a fight.

Trying to deny my conclusion, Esme protested, "Tanya's family is also near."

Certain of the accuracy of my insight, I argued, "The newborns aren't ravaging Anchorage, Esme. I think we have to consider the idea that _we_ are the targets."

"They're not coming after us," Alice countered, but then she flashed over the vague images she'd been chasing over the past several months and slowly said, "Or… they don't _know_ that they are. Not yet."

My muscles locked at her words, a feeling of unease within me as I tried to watch the visions she couldn't really see. "What is that? What are you remembering?"

"Flickers. I can't see a clear picture when I try to see what's going on, nothing concrete. But I've been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to make sense of. It's as if someone's changing their mind, moving from one course of action to another so quickly that I can't get a good view…"

"Indecision?" Jasper asked, unable to believe that a creature who would make an army would be so uncertain what they had made it _for_.

"Not indecision," I said, my voice harsh. " _Knowledge._ Someone who knows you can't see anything until the decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your vision."

"Who would know that?" Alice whispered in dread, agreeing instantly with my assessment and fearing what it meant: we were blind.

"Aro knows you as well as you know yourself," I said, my mind unable to block the image he'd taunted me with. Alice and myself, dressed in dark grey cloaks, standing at Aro's side. The past, present, and future, together. I felt my eyes tighten, fearing the lengths to which he would go to secure the services he so desperately wanted.

"But I would see if they'd decided to come…" Alice protested again.

"Unless they didn't want to get their hands dirty." She was watching _Aro_. But if he got someone else to do the work for him. By planting the thought in their mind without actually asking them to kill us, he could get them to act without making the decision that Alice was looking for.

"A favor," Rosalie suggested. "Someone in the South… someone who already had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second chance – if they take care of this one small problem… That would explain the Volturi's sluggish response."

I was nodding. I'd thought it was the Volturi before, when the intruder had broken into Bella's room. If it were one of the Volturi creating an army, they would have the restraint necessary to leave Charlie alive.

"Why?" Carlisle asked, not seeing why they would let us go in Italy only to come after us here, now. "There's no reason for the Volturi – "

"It was there," I interrupted. "I'm surprised it's come to this so soon, because the other thoughts were stronger. In Aro's head he saw me at his one side and Alice at his other. The present and the future, virtual omniscience. The power of the idea intoxicated him. I would have thought it would take him much longer to give up on that plan – he wanted it too much. But there was also the thought of you, Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The jealousy and the fear: you having… not _more_ than he had, but still, things that he wanted. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn't hide it completely. The idea of rooting out the competition was there; besides their own, ours is the largest coven they've ever found…"

I met Bella's eyes and saw the horror on her face.

Carlisle was shaking his head. The vampires he'd known in Italy had been lawmakers. The laws they'd written and enforced were held above all other considerations. If they broke their own laws, they would lose their authority and their empire would come crashing down.

"They're too committed to their mission. They would never break the rules themselves. It goes against everything they've worked for."

"They'll clean up afterward," I disagreed. "A double betrayal. No harm done."

"No, Carlisle is right," Jasper argued, leaning toward me to emphasize his point. "The Volturi do not break rules. Besides, it's much too sloppy. This… person, this threat – they have no idea what they're doing. A first-timer, I'd swear to it. I cannot believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be."

I watched as Carlisle reviewed his time in Italy, seeing at the same time Jasper's memories of training newborn armies. Watching the conflicting visions, I was forced to agree with them. Despite the fact that I would love to blame this on the Volturi – the relief it would bring to have our enemy named at last – I had to concede that they were not involved. Not directly, at least.

Emmett was thinking of the army. _If their leader is so new, then none of them have the training Jasper's army had. They may have the strength and the numbers, but none of them have any skill. It will be easy to kill them._

"Then let's _go_ ," Emmett growled. "What are we waiting for?" _The longer we wait, the more they can increase their numbers. We should strike_ now.

Carlisle caught my eye. _It doesn't matter who created them. If they are after us – and I believe you are correct, they must be – then the outcome is the same. Either we wait for them to bring the fight to us, or we take it to them. I imagine you would prefer not to have them anywhere near Forks?_ He cocked an eyebrow at me.

I nodded.

_If we wait for them to be ready, we will be at an even greater disadvantage than we already are. What is the saying? The best defense is a good offense?_

He turned to Jasper. "We'll need you to teach us, Jasper. How to destroy them." His voice was harsh. I saw his jaw clench and his eyes tighten. He abhorred the thought of taking a life, but he would not sacrifice any of his family in order to hold on to his ideals.

"We're going to need help," Jasper said. _The numbers are not in our favor._ "Do you think Tanya's family would be willing…? Another five mature vampires would make an enormous difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid."

"We'll ask," Carlisle said.

Unable to hide his urgency, Jasper held his cell phone out to Carlisle. "We need to hurry." _The longer we wait, the stronger their army becomes, the more newborns they have the chance to add to their numbers._

Through Jasper, I could feel the tension in every one of my family member's mind, but also, from Carlisle, pain. Just the knowledge that he was going to be forced to kill was hurting him. I looked at Bella, saw her watching Carlisle with a look of dread on her face. I hated the fear I saw in her eyes.

Deciding I'd been apart from her for far too long, I reached for Bella's hand and pulled her to the love-seat. We sat beside each other and I felt her warmth pressing against me, calming me. I could feel her watching me now, but I forced myself to focus on Carlisle's conversation with Tanya.

"Hello, Tanya. How are you this morning?" he greeted her, politely.

" _Carlisle! It's good to hear from you. Your family is back in Forks, now, yes?"_

"We are. Thank you again for the use of your house in Anchorage."

" _Of course. I wish we could have been able to visit while you were there,"_ she said with regret in her voice.

"Well, as it happens, we were hoping you would be willing to visit us now. Have you been following the situation in Seattle?"

A pause, then, hesitantly, _"Yes. There seems to be a rather conspicuous vampire on the loose there."_

"More than one, we believe."

" _What makes you say that?"_

"The numbers of dead, and the times they are killed. This can't be the work of one vampire, or even several. We believe that there is an army of newborns, somewhere around twenty of them, in fact."

" _And what does that have to do with us visiting you?"_

"An army like this does not just happen. They were created and for a purpose. The only group of vampires even close to Seattle is – "

" _Yours."_

"Yes."

" _You believe this army is after you? But you're like us. You aren't competition for human victims…"_

"There may be another reason why they are after us, but whatever the reason is, we are certain that we are the target."

" _And you want us to come and help you defend yourselves."_

"We'd rather not wait on them to come to us," he said, slowly.

She didn't answer for a minute. _"Now I regret even more that we did not come to visit you."_

"What do you mean?" He spoke slowly, his voice worried.

" _Last year, you sent a vampire to us."_

Carlisle blinked in shock.

_"If we had come to visit you, things may not have… happened… the way they did."_

"I'm not following you."

" _No? Let me put it to you this way, would you be willing to help someone who killed your mate?"_

Unused to hearing any kind of anger in my gentle father's voice, I was shocked at the sharpness of his tone as he repeated, "What do you mean, Tanya? What happened?"

" _Like I said, if we had come to visit you, you would have seen. Irina and Laurent were together. And now he is dead. Your allies killed him."_ Her voice was hard, accusing.

"Oh. We didn't realize… that Irina felt that way."

I groaned, seeing the problem. "Damn it. Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs."

Beside me, Bella whispered, "Laurent?" but I couldn't take the time to answer her just yet. I needed to hear what Tanya had to say.

" _Irina took his death very hard. She doesn't exactly blame you, but she believes your family is, at least indirectly, responsible for his death."_

"We weren't even in Forks when he died. How can she blame us?"

" _He was killed by those you have befriended. The wolves."_

"They were protecting Edward's mate."

" _So they say."_

"So Bella says. Laurent was going to kill her. The wolves saved her life."

" _Irina refuses to believe that. He had given up hunting humans. He lived with us for nearly a year and hunted with us."_

"Yes, he told us that he was intrigued by our lifestyle. But it seems he found our lifestyle not to his liking and decided to go back to his former ally. Why else would he have been in Forks? He was here with the intention of killing Bella."

" _Why would he do that? He believed her to be under your protection."_

"You didn't tell him we were in Anchorage?" he asked, surprised.

" _Believe it or not, Carlisle, the world does not revolve around you and your family. No,_ _we told him nothing of you,"_ she scoffed.

"Tanya, please listen to me. I am, of course, sorry for Irina's loss, but I don't believe he was what she believed him to be. You know how difficult our lifestyle can be. He was here hunting humans. He'd killed several others in this area before the wolves got to him and he would have killed Bella!" Carlisle's smooth voice was persuasive, compelling.

" _You knew him for what, a few hours? He lived with us! I'd say we knew him a lot_ _better than you did."_ she spat, her voice hard and angry.

"We've gotten side tracked, Tanya. I understand that Irina feels bad that Laurent was killed, but there are many more humans being killed as we speak. This army in Seattle was made to kill us! If you do not help us, they may just succeed. Please, put our differences in this matter aside for the moment."

" _We would be willing if – "_ she hesitated

"If?" he pushed.

" _If she were allowed to take vengeance against those who killed him. Help us to get rid of the wolves and we will help you to get rid of the vampires."_

"There's no question of that," he snapped. "We have a truce. They haven't broken it, and neither will we."

" _They_ have _broken it! You are a blind fool, Carlisle. They've killed a vampire and you claim they have not broken the treaty? We will not come to Forks until they are gone."_

"I'm sorry to hear that…" His voice was full of disgust.

" _Carlisle, I am sorry as well. I hope that you are successful with this army. When it is done… call me again. Please. We do wish you the best."_ She spoke quietly, sad at the circumstances that caused our families to be unwilling to help one another.

"Of course. We'll just have to do our best alone." He closed the phone with a snap, as angry as I'd ever seen him. Trying to master his fury, he stared out of the window, his mind seeing an army of newborn vampires surrounding the house, a bloody trail of dead humans spread out behind them.

"What's the problem?" Emmett asked me.

"Irina was more involved with our friend Laurent than we knew. She's holding a grudge against the wolves for destroying him to save Bella. She wants – " I paused and glanced at Bella, knowing she wouldn't like to hear this.

"Go on," she prompted me, calmly.

"She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for our permission," I said, hesitantly.

"No!" she protested with a sharp gasp.

"Don't worry," I reassured her. Though I'd personally love to tear Jacob shreds, we would never go back on our word. "Carlisle would never agree to it." Then I thought about how they had been helping us to keep Bella safe, that she owed her life to the mutt that I hated, and I sighed. "Nor would I," I admitted to myself. "Laurent had it coming and I still owe the wolves for that," I finished with a growl.

"This isn't good. It's too even a fight," Jasper said, worried. "We'd have the upper hand in skill, but not numbers. We'd win, but at what price?" He looked at Alice, and I could feel his terror at losing his mate.

The seven of us against an untrained army of newborns. We'd kill them all for sure, but perhaps not before they took some of us with them. I watched Bella's fear filled face as she took in the knowledge that some of us might not survive the coming battle.


	20. Maria

**Maria**

_Edward!_ Esme's thoughts called to me that night. Reluctantly, I left Bella's sleeping embrace and looked out of her window to see my mother standing just outside. _You should go home, now. I'll keep Bella safe for you._ I nodded and turned to place a kiss on Bella's forehead before springing from her window.

Esme jumped into the trees to keep watch for me and I took off running. Making my nightly appearance at my house so that I could change clothes while Bella slept, I found my family still deep in conversation over the coming army.

"The Denali's aren't the only options that we have," Carlisle was telling them when I walked into the living room. "I've lived in many places over the centuries and have made many friends."

"We've already tried to contact Maggie." Rose shot Emmett a sour look.

Emmett grinned at her. "What can I say? Sometimes a human just smells too good." He glanced at me and snickered. "Right, Eddie?"

I ground my teeth, refusing to rise to his taunt.

"What about Peter and Charlotte?" Jasper suggested, unwilling to be diverted.

"Do you know where they are?" Carlisle asked, ignoring Emmett, too.

"Not exactly, but I know where they were headed when they left here."

"That was a year ago," I reminded him.

"True, but they often keep to a hunting pattern, making a circuit of the country and their favorite cities. I should be able to track them."

"We don't have time for you to go running around the country looking for two vampires," Emmett pointed out.

"I don't even need to leave this house to do it," he disagreed. "I know Peter's kill patterns; I've hunted with him. I might be able to use the humans' own death records to trace his movements."

"That's a good idea. In fact, I've done so before."

They all stared at me with varying degrees of surprise.

I explained, "When I was hunting Victoria. I did the same thing."

Rose crossed her arms and quirked an eyebrow at me. "And it worked?" _I thought you lost her._

Embarrassed at my failure, I snarled, "I _did_ lose her, but that wasn't why. I was lied to about where she went. Just a few days earlier and I'd have _caught_ her!" I balled my hands into fists, furious at myself for the way I'd allowed Victoria to escape. I'd gotten caught up in stalking Bella's past and my distraction had given Victoria the time she'd needed to evade me.

"But you were able to use their death records to trace her movements, up until that point?" Jasper pressed.

"Yes."

"What about Maria? Alice said you'd found her, too. Her coven could be a huge help, if she were willing."

I saw Alice grimace at the mention of the vampire who'd created her mate. Abruptly afraid to admit that I _had_ found her, and her coven, I hesitated, unsure how to answer that question. I didn't want to lie, but neither did I want to tell the truth.

_There!_ Jasper thought at me. _There's that guilt again._ "What haven't you told us, Edward?" he demanded.

I sighed, sank down onto the couch, and lowered my gaze to the floor, unable to bear meeting any of their eyes. My family stared at me, waiting impatiently for me tell them what had happened. In a flat voice, I said, "Maria's dead."

_What?!_ The word was thrown at me from every mind in the room.

"Maria's dead?" Jasper whispered. He was radiating a whirlwind of shock, anger, relief, and grief.

Still staring at the floor, I nodded.

Reading my guilt again, he guessed, "You killed her?"

I nodded again.

Carlisle walked over to sit in the chair opposite mine. He stared at me until I looked up to meet his eyes. I could see the anger in his face, in the crease between his eyebrows, in the thin set of his lips, and the way the muscles along his jaw were clenched. "Explain yourself, Edward."

"It's like with the newborn I told you about."

"Maria attacked you?" he asked.

I nodded a third time.

"I suppose that was to be expected," Carlisle sighed, quietly, "given what happened in Calgary."

Jasper whispered, "But, in Calgary, she didn't have her coven with her, and we were still lucky to all get away with our lives. How did you do it? And how did you get away from her coven, after?"

I glanced at him. His face was paler than usual, still radiating his whirling emotions, his mouth hanging open. "I didn't have to. They helped me."

" _Helped_ you?!"

"I came across them first. Like you suggested, I tried to talk to them instead of her. Did you know that she lied to them? Kept them in the dark?"

"Well, she couldn't exactly _tell_ them that she was planning on killing them," he said, upset, but trying to maintain a reasonable tone with me.

I shook my head. "No, Jazz, it's more than that. She lied to them about our nature. They believed the old tales about the sun. I'm not sure what all she told them to keep them in check, but they spent their entire lives in the dark, hiding from the sun for fear of burning to death if it touched them."

"What does that have to do with you killing her?" Carlisle demanded, angry still.

The words spilled forth from me, faster than I could censor them. "They weren't going to let me go. I could see that. I got them to tell me about Victoria, but that didn't matter to them, because they were planning on holding me there until Maria could get back and decide what to do with me – which was to kill me, they were sure. I found out about the lies she told them and, because of you, Jazz, I knew her plans for them anyway. So I told them the truth. She found us all standing outside in the sunlight. At that point, Maria's coven no longer belonged to her.

"She and I… talked… for a while. She told me about Victoria – what Victoria had told her at any rate. She didn't want to, but I took the information from her mind. But Victoria had lied to _them_. She'd told them she was going to Rio, but she came _here_ ," I snarled, clenching my fists, still furious at having been tricked.

"Maria attacked me and the coven came to my aid and we killed her," I finished in a low mumble.

Carlisle sighed and stood up, staring at me while I stared at the floor.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Edward," he said, finally.

I looked up at him, angry. "You didn't seem to care so much that I killed the newborn."

"Newborn?" Alice whispered. "Edward, what did you _do?"_

I saw her remembering her one brief vision of me killing the predator in Seattle. I had been searching for him – or someone like him – to help me when searching for Victoria. Then, in getting to know him, I had discovered what a monster he truly was and decided to kill him.

Unlike the Seattle predator, the newborn in Phoenix had found and attacked _me_. There had been no time for Alice to see that future, or she may simply not have been watching me at exactly that time. Either way, like with Maria, his death had been too quick for her to catch.

"What, did you go on some kind of killing spree when you left? Is that why I keep feeling your guilt?" Jasper accused me.

"No!" I denied.

"It sure sounds that way!" he yelled at me.

Carlisle held out a cautionary hand toward Jasper. "I cared that you killed the newborn, just as I care now that you killed Maria. You haven't killed in seventy years, and that you have now done so again concerns me greatly. Especially as I'm only now finding out it was more than once! I'm also worried about what it might have done to you. I know how you take things upon yourself. But you said that when you killed the newborn it was self-defense."

Tired of their accusations, I yelled, "And so was this!" I stood up to look my father in his eyes. "And now you tell me that you're angry that I acted to save my life?"

"I'm not angry that you defended yourself," he clarified. "I'm angry that you lied to me."

"I didn't."

"You didn't tell me the truth."

I crossed my arms, scowling at him. "You asked me if I killed any humans. I didn't. You never asked about vampires. I told you about the newborn of my own free will."

"How many others have you killed, Edward?" he said, flatly.

Sighing, I spoke the truth that I had been hiding from them. "Maria. The newborn I told you about." I paused before admitting, "And one other."

"All self-defense?"

I hesitated.

"No," Jasper answered for me. I glared at him, but he raised an eyebrow, daring me to challenge him.

"You deliberately murdered?" Carlisle whispered. "In cold blood?"

Looking back into Carlisle's disbelieving eyes, I spoke slowly. "He was a vampire. He was _already_ dead." I turned then, and stalked away to my room, knowing that I had hurt him.

Carlisle approached my room as I finished changing my clothes. I heard his desire to talk to me and turned to stare unhappily out of my windows.

"Come in," I called before he could knock.

I kept my back to him while he leaned against one of the posts of my new bed.

"How can you still believe that you are dead?" he asked me in a harsh whisper.

"How can you not?" I countered.

He walked over to stand directly behind me. "Look at me, son."

Pressing my lips together, I turned to face him.

"I _know_ that I am not dead." He spread his arms wide. "I am standing here, talking to you, thinking, feeling, moving. My body may not be human anymore, but I _am_ alive! And so are you."

I took his hand and placed it on my chest. "What do you feel? Does my heart beat?"

He shook his head. "That doesn't prove anything."

"We don't need to breathe, our bodies don't change, or grow, or die. We don't even need to feed! I went months without drinking anything. What living creature can go without breathing or eating? If you were to tear me apart, you could put me right back together again, no harm done. Go ahead!" I invited him. "Rip my arm off and watch as it crawls around on the floor on its own. Could you then tell me that _it_ is alive? When my heart stopped beating, I _died_ , Carlisle. You can tell yourself otherwise if you want, but I know the truth."

We stood without moving for several long minutes while he tried to find an argument that I would accept. I waited patiently. We'd had this conversation – or one like it – many times in the past, but it had been years since the last time the subject had come up.

_I thought… when you fell in love with Bella… I thought you had changed. That you no longer believed yourself to be dead._

"You thought wrong. Why do you think I don't want her to be like us? Yes, I'm afraid of what could happen: that she'll be unable to stop herself from killing. Yes, I'm terrified of what that will do to her. I know what it did to me. But if necessary, I'll take her to Antarctica to avoid that fate. Bella killing people isn't the only thing that I fear for her, though. Carlisle, when you bite her, you… will… _kill_ … her. And not _just_ her body. She has the purest, most beautiful soul of any creature I have ever met, and _you_ want to steal it from her!" I shouted, pointing my finger in his face.

"No, Edward, no." He was shaking his head, his expression one of grief. "I don't believe that. And I don't think you really do, either."

I scoffed in disbelief at his stubbornness. Throwing my hands into the air, I turned away from him to stare back out into the night.

He strode over to the wide glass door that opened onto the balcony that ran around our house. Throwing the door open, he returned to me and grabbed my arm.

_Come with me,_ he insisted and pulled me out into the night with him.

We ran side by side through the dark night into the forest and up into the mountains. His thoughts were hard, concentrating on not letting me see what he was thinking. Eventually we came across a group of deer and he sprang upon one, breaking its neck and killing it instantly.

"Carlisle, I'm not really thirsty for deer right now," I said, annoyed.

"I'm not hunting for food. I want to show you something."

I watched him, curious.

He dropped the dead deer in front of me. "Place your hand on its chest. Go on," he urged when I hesitated.

I did as he instructed, placing my hands above the deer's heart. Where I should have been able to feel the rhythmic pumping had it been alive, there was nothing.

"It's dead, Carlisle. You killed it. What exactly are you expecting me to feel?"

"Yes, it's dead. Is it moving?"

"This is stupid." I stood up.

He grabbed me roughly. _"Is it moving?"_

"No," I sighed.

"And if we stood here watching it long enough, what would happen to it?"

"Carlisle – " I protested, again.

"Answer the question, Edward!"

"It would rot. Some animals would find it and feed on it."

"And you? If you were to lay down beside the deer while it decayed, what would happen to you?"

"Aside from being bored and annoyed by the stench?"

His eyes narrowed, and I heard a low growl from him.

Resigned to playing his game, I sighed, "Nothing. Nothing would happen to me."

He pointed at a random tree. "What about that tree, there. Is _it_ moving?"

"It's not going to get up and walk around, Carlisle. It's a _tree."_

"Is it dead?"

"No."

"How do you know? It has no heartbeat. You can't hear it breathing. It's never going to move on its own. So what makes you certain that _it_ is alive and not that deer?"

"It… has circulation. The tree drinks water, converts sunshine into food, sap flows through its trunk, branches, and leaves. _It grows_."

"You drink."

"Blood, not water."

"Your body converts that blood into energy that it can use. Don't you feel stronger when you feed?"

"Of course I do, but – "

"And your venom, what do you think that is?"

"Poison. A weapon. Take your pick."

"No. It is your blood, like sap is to the tree. It flows through you as it did when it changed you. Your heart may not beat, and you may not need oxygen, but those things in and of themselves do not equal life. Plants breathe carbon dioxide in, and the oxygen they breath out is a poison that animals need in order to live."

"Okay, so for argument's sake, let's say that I agree with you. What about what that tree can do that I can't? Or that deer could have before you killed it? All of these living things are capable of passing on their genes to the next generation, but not me. Rose – and Esme, too – long for a child of their own. Do you think that I do not? Vampires can't have children. We can't reproduce because we aren't alive."

"You are my son, are you not?"

"I'm your creation, not your child. That's not the same thing."

"Isn't it? My venom made you, changed you into something that resembled me. I raised you, taught you how to live. Isn't that what a parent does for a child?"

I stared at him, frowning. Though I was convinced that he was wrong, I was unable to come up with an argument for why his reasoning was invalid.

"Come with me. I want to show you one more thing." He took off running again, back toward Forks.

I was shocked when he led me to Bella's house and leapt up into her room. Glancing into the trees, I met Esme's curious eyes before following him. I landed behind him as he walked over to look down on Bella's sleeping face.

_Do you love her?_ he silently asked, pointing at the sleeping girl.

Speaking low so that she wouldn't wake I said, "You know that I do."

He looked back to me. _How? How do I know that? More to the point, how do_ you?

"I know because… I just know."

_Not good enough._ How _do you_ know?

"I – " I swallowed. "I know because she is my world. Because I think about her every second of every day."

_Wrong. That is obsession, not love._

I tried again. "I know because I want to be the man she sees, the man she believes me to be."

_Wrong again, but closer. That is what you want, not what you are. Convince me that you love her._ Prove _it._

Frowning, I considered how to answer him. How would one prove to another that they loved someone? A person either was in love, or they weren't. Either they felt it, or they didn't. "I know that I love her because I feel it, and because of the way she makes me feel. Because of the way she makes me whole."

_If I had kicked that dead deer, would it have felt it?_

"No, but - "

_If I ripped your arm off, would you still love her?_

"Of course!"

_You wouldn't be whole._

"I would be when I put it back on." I smirked, raising an eyebrow.

_Not if I burned it first._

I shrugged, unconcerned. "That wouldn't matter. My arm is just a piece of my body. It's not me."

He balled his hand into a fist, his hard eyes never leaving mine, while his fist hovered inches above her face. _And if I put my fist through her head right now? I could kill her faster than you could stop me._

"You wouldn't dare," I growled at him. My body tensed automatically, ready to spring at him, though I knew that he was right; if he wanted to kill her, she would be dead before I could prevent it.

_Why would you care?_

Having to really work now to keep my voice below the level that would wake Bella, I spoke through gritted teeth, "I've been through her death once already, Carlisle! You have no idea what that did to me!"

_Tell me._ Leaving Bella's side, he grabbed my arms, his face inches from mine. _Tell me what it did!_

"It nearly _killed_ me, Carlisle!"

He spoke aloud, his voice barely a whisper, but each word separate and distinct. "How is that possible if you are already dead?"

My breath whooshed out of me as though he had punched me.

He released his hold on me and backed up a step, assessing the affect his words had on me.

"It... it's just an expression."

_Then why did you try to kill yourself?_

"I couldn't bear to exist with her dead," I whispered.

_Do you really think that a dead creature would care?_

"I…" I swallowed hard, trying to find a way to refute his words.

_If she_ had _been dead, do you think she would have cared what happened to you?_

"At least her soul would have been... safe..." I was going to say that her soul would have been safe in Heaven, but as she had pointed out when we got back from Italy, Heaven would have seemed like Hell to her, if we were apart, and Hell would have been Heaven, if we were together.

_Do you think it's even possible to love without a soul?_

"I don't know," I eventually admitted.

He nodded, firmly. _"I_ know." _Her death nearly killed you for the same reason that you fought against those vampires to 'save your life', as_ you _put it. For the same reason that you cannot live without her. Because you are not just mates, you are soulmates. Because your soul is bound to hers. Because you are_ not _dead._ He glanced at Bella and then back to me. _And when you change her, neither will_ she _be._

Carlisle left me in Bella's room, standing motionless and in shock. For the rest of that night, I stood and watched my Bella as she slept, considering – for the first time in ninety years – the possibility that I might not be dead. That maybe, just maybe, I still possessed my soul.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Hey everyone! Just thought I'd give a quick wave.

A little Dawn update: Ladies and Gentlevamps, I'd like to present Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen! Yeah! Our lovers are married at last, and Jacob's about to make his scene. That's going to be fun to write. *eyeroll *pinches bridge of nose

It's so strange to think that chapter 20 of New Moon was the epilogue, and here we are only halfway through Eclipse. I have no idea how long Dawn is going to end up being. Or, for that matter, how long it will take me to get it done, but I hope you all continue to be patient with me as I edit, write, work, and even (occasionally) sleep! Between this story, Teen, and Dawn, my hands are quite full, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Like the Alice scene in the "Possibilities" chapter, this is one that wouldn't have existed if I posted as I wrote. This chapter was inspired by the lovely Jessica314 from FFn. A simple comment she made, wondering how Jasper took the news of Maria's death left me with the realization that I needed to give a detailed account of the revelation of his kills to his family. At the time, I had still been posting NM, but the only reference I had written was a vague mention by Edward in the NM epilogue that Jasper had been upset or some such nonsense. That line is long gone, and the revelation of his sins was delayed for more angsty fun. It also gave me the inspiration for how to begin this book, and the Carlisle scene we started out with.

I'll admit, this chapter ended up taking a turn that I didn't expect, and ended up being more about Carlisle than Jasper, but it's the story Edward insisted on telling, so who was I to argue? I hope you liked it!

~L


	21. Cancellation

**Cancellation**

"You can't be serious! You've completely lost your mind!" Bella exclaimed over lunch on Wednesday.

"Say whatever you like about me. The party is still on," Alice answered complacently.

Bella was speechless and I had to hide my smile. I'd warned Alice to expect Bella to protest, but she didn't believe me, convinced that Bella would enjoy her party, despite what else was going on in our world.

"Oh, calm down, Bella!" Alice insisted with a laugh. "There's no reason not to go through with it. Besides, the invitations are already sent."

"But… the… you… I… insane!" Bella was practically speechless.

"You've already bought my present. You don't have to do anything but show up."

I watched as Bella mastered her emotions, the strange calm she was able to pull over her face hid her inner self from me. Her voice calm now, she said, "With everything that is going on right now, a party is hardly appropriate."

"Graduation is what's going on right now, and a party is so appropriate it's almost passé."

"Alice!"

Alice sighed, the playful tone leaving her voice. "There are a few things we need to get in order now, and that's going to take a little time. As long as we're sitting here waiting, we might as well commemorate the good stuff. You're only going to graduate from high school – for the first time – once. You don't get to be human again, Bella. This is a once-in-a-lifetime shot."

I glared at Alice. Such things should not be said in public.

She stuck her tongue out at me. _Relax. No one is paying us any attention._

"What few things do we need to get in order?" Bella persisted.

"Jasper thinks we could use some help," I explained. "Tanya's family isn't the only choice we have. Carlisle's trying to track down a few old friends, and Jasper is looking up Peter and Charlotte. He's considering tracking down Maria's coven, but no one really wants to involve the southerners."

Alice shuddered. _Peter and Charlotte are one thing, but the southern newborns would be just as bad in their own way as the army that's coming. I'm glad Maria is dead! She was a hideous creature, but would her coven even be willing to come up here and fight for us?_

"It shouldn't be too hard to convince them to help. Nobody wants a visit from Italy." And they rather owed me a favor for helping them get rid of Maria. The problem would be _finding_ them. And if we did, I'd have to make certain to keep them far away from Bella. I'd been trying to figure out how to keep her safe when we left Forks for Seattle anyway. I wondered if she'd be willing to go on a trip with Esme. If we got enough others to help us, we wouldn't need my gentle mother to involve herself in the fight.

"But these friends," Bella said hesitantly, "they're not going to be… _vegetarians_ , right?"

"No," I answered her, flatly. They would be typical vampires: thirsty, and far too eager for human blood.

"Here? In Forks?" Bella's face was aghast.

"They're friends," Alice said calmly. "Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry. And then, Jasper has to teach us a few courses on newborn elimination…"

I felt the smile tugging at my lips at that thought. Jasper so rarely lost to Emmett or myself, and then only when we ganged up on him. At that, we only won because he was unwilling to harm us. If we truly were fighting him, we'd never have stood a chance. A bit of training from the most experienced warrior in our family might just even the playing field.

"When are you going?" Bella asked in a low voice. I met her eyes, saw the fear in them.

"A week," I said, my voice calm, trying to reassure her. "That ought to give us enough time." Despite my efforts, her face paled, and I smelled adrenaline rush through her system.

"You look kind of green, Bella," Alice teased.

Trying again to calm her, I hugged her to my side. "It's going to be fine, Bella. Trust me."

She was still against me for a moment, her face a calm mask that hid her thoughts from me. Then, her words slow, but firm, she looked at Alice and said, "You're looking for help."

"Yes," Alice prompted her to finish her thought.

Refusing to meet my eyes, she stared at Alice and finished, " _I_ could help."

Seeing what she meant instantly, I felt my breath leak through my teeth in a pain-filled hiss. Just because Carlisle had forced me to consider the possibility that I might still be alive, did not mean I was ready for her death. Even if it might not mean what it had a few days ago.

Answering for me, Alice told her, "That really wouldn't be _helpful_."

"Why not?" she demanded, her voice high and full of fear. Fear that I was sure was for us, not herself. "Eight is better than seven. There's more than enough time."

"There's not enough time to make you helpful, Bella," Alice argued in a calm voice. "Do you remember how Jasper described the young ones? You'd be no good in a fight. You wouldn't be able to control your instincts, and that would make you an easy target. And then Edward would get hurt trying to protect you." With a feeling of victory at her inarguable logic, Alice crossed her arms and leveled a stern look at Bella.

To my immense relief, Bella's body slumped in defeat and I relaxed my tense posture. I leaned close and whispered in her ear, "Not because you're afraid."

"Oh," Alice's eyes went blank as a vision flashed through her mind. Before I could register more than that Bella had been talking on the phone, Alice grumped, "I hate last minute cancellations. So that puts the party attendance list down to sixty-five…"

" _Sixty-five!"_ Bella practically shrieked.

I'd seen what Alice had planned and was unsurprised at the number. The whole town was curious about the Cullens. We'd never opened our home to anyone but Bella before and everyone who'd been invited was attending, plus their guests.

"Who canceled?" I asked her.

"Renée."

"What?" Bella gasped.

"She was going to surprise you for your graduation," Alice explained, sourly, "but something went wrong. You'll have a message when you get home."

When we got to her house after school, Bella went straight to check her message. Renée ran out of room on the machine during her apology. Her husband, Phil, had had an accident while coaching his baseball team. He'd broken his thigh bone while sliding into home base. One of the degrees I held was in medicine, though I never was a practicing doctor like Carlisle. I knew, though, that the thigh bone was not an easy one to break, and slow to heal. He'd be out of commission for a while, and Renée would have to stay with him.

"Well that's one," Bella sighed.

"One what?" I asked.

"One person I don't have to worry about getting killed this week," she clarified. I rolled my eyes at her pessimism. Really, it was like she had no confidence in us at all. If she'd ever seen Jasper, Emmett, and I wrestling, she might not be so worried.

"Why won't you and Alice take this seriously," she fumed. "This is _serious."_

Grinning broadly at her, I said, firmly, "Confidence." I knew that attitude was a large part of a successful fight. There was a difference between confidence and over-confidence.

"Wonderful," she said sourly, then called her mother. Bella didn't say much, letting her mother monopolize the conversation for the most part. Renée couldn't stop apologizing, no matter how often Bella told her she wasn't mad or upset. Renée told her in detail about the practice that had led to Phil's injury and requested a call from Bella for similar details about the graduation. I'd graduated many times and couldn't imagine the small town's ceremony being anything special, but was sure that Bella would find plenty of details to satisfy her mother.

Throughout the long conversation, I stayed by Bella's side, happy just to be close to her. I couldn't stop myself from reaching for her and ran my fingers through her hair. I brought a handful of her silk to my face, rubbing it against my cheek and inhaling its sweet strawberry scent. Though she tried to keep her attention on her conversation, her eyes were drawn to mine over and over. Every time I looked into her lovely brown eyes, I felt myself smile and heard her breath catch and her heart stutter.

Finally, she hung up and immediately turned to me. She had to stretch to reach my mouth, so I decided to make things easier for her. Never allowing my lips to part from hers, I wrapped my hands around her waist and lifted her up so that she was sitting on the kitchen counter. She wound her arms around my neck and wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling my body against hers. I lost myself in her embrace, enjoying the sensation of her warm body wrapped around mine. She ran her hands through my hair and I buried mine in hers, loving the feeling of her silk cascading over my fingers and down my arms.

Before I could succumb to my desire for her, I forced myself to pull away from her. When I met her eyes, I had to laugh at the petulant expression on her face. Gently, I unwound her arms from my neck. Removing myself from her legs was more difficult, as I found myself wanting to run my hands along them instead of unwrapping them from around me. Pretending a calm I didn't feel, I leaned against the counter next to her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"I know you think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that's not actually the case," I explained.

"I wish," she sighed, but didn't finish her thought.

If she'd had any idea how difficult it was to resist her, I knew that I would never be successful. I sighed, wishing with all that I was that we could be together like a normal couple.

Telling myself firmly to stop pining over a future that could never be, not while she was human at any rate, I said, "After school tomorrow, I'm going hunting with Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie. Just for a few hours – we'll stay close. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett should be able to keep you safe," I teased her.

"Ugh. I hate being babysat," she complained.

"It's temporary," I reminded her. Once the newborns were taken care of, Bella would be safe again and the only threat to her would be from Victoria… and myself, of course.

"Jasper will be bored. Emmett will make fun of me."

As far as Emmett was concerned, being made fun of was just part of the territory. If she had any idea what _I_ had to put up with from him, she wouldn't complain.

"They'll be on their best behavior," I assured her.

"Right," she grumped.

I watched as a speculative look came over her face and prepared myself for another request to be changed.

Instead, she said, "You know… I haven't been to La Push since the bonfire."

I tried not to tense at the thought of her near Jacob once again. The last time, he hadn't tried to convince her to be with him instead of me, but I was sure that had been due to the nature of the meeting they were attending as much as to his cowardice. I couldn't be sure that he wouldn't try the next time, though.

"I'd be safe enough there," she insisted, gently.

I was sure she was right. The pack of wolves would never let any vampire through. The only threat _there_ was Jacob himself and his pack of mutts. I reminded myself of my resolve to give her the choice. Especially as close as graduation was, I needed to know that this life truly was what she wanted. I wouldn't have Carlisle change her only for her to decide too late that a life with Jacob was what she wanted.

"You're probably right," I finally agreed.

"Are you thirsty already?" she asked, running a light finger along my cheek.

"Not really," I answered honestly. My thirst seemed to finally be evening out from my long months without hunting. The pride I'd killed in Canada had definitely helped matters. Predators were so much better than herd animals.

She seemed to sense there was more to the answer and cocked her head at me, no doubt wondering why I was hunting if I wasn't thirsty.

"We want to be as strong as possible," I explained. I didn't like her fascination with all things vampire and didn't really want to tell her about our reasons for hunting, but she wanted to know, and I'd never been able to deny her what she wanted. "We'll probably hunt again on the way, looking for big game."

"That makes you stronger?" she pressed.

I looked into her eyes, tried to read her face, but with her maddening ability to hide her emotions from me, her expression showed me only simple curiosity.

"Yes," I eventually admitted. Then, feeling that a fuller explanation was called for, went on, "Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper's been thinking about cheating."

Finally, an emotion showed on her face. Surprise, though, not the disgust or outrage I would have expected.

I tried to defend my brother, "Adverse as he is to the idea, he's nothing if not practical – but he won't suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say."

She looked away from me for a moment before meeting my eyes again. "Would that help?" she asked, her voice just above a whisper.

"It doesn't matter. We aren't going to change who we are," I said, flatly.

She frowned and then shuddered.

 _Finally!_ I thought. _A normal response!_ The thought of me killing _should_ make her shudder. I _was_ a killer. I'd killed humans before and was planning a trip to Seattle in a week to go kill off a bunch of newborn vampires. She needed to realize that the creatures she planned on spending eternity with were monsters, killers. Even if we'd given up human blood, it didn't change what we were.

Deciding not to brood over my past sins, I changed the subject. "That's why they're so strong, of course. The newborns are full of human blood – their own blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in the tissues and strengthens them. Their bodies use it up slowly, like Jasper said, the strength starting to wane after about a year."

"How strong will _I_ be?" she asked, with a little too much enthusiasm, but I couldn't hold back my half smile, selfishly looking forward to what it would be like to hunt with her, to be with her without worrying constantly that I would hurt her.

"Stronger than I am."

She smirked at me. "Stronger than Emmett?"

I nearly laughed, my grin spreading across my face now. As the last member of my family that Carlisle had changed, Emmett had never met a newborn vampire.

"Yes. Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a good experience for him."

She laughed, shaking her head and looking disbelieving, before she sighed and slid down from the counter. Bella bobbled a little and I put a hand out to steady her – any excuse to touch her again – but she kept her balance and pulled out her books. As it was the last week of school, we started taking our final exams that next morning and Bella, always responsible, wanted to spend the evening cramming.

Having no need to study, I helped Bella. I knew she'd have no problems, despite how worried she was. She never gave herself enough credit. I didn't mind helping her to study, though. It gave me an excuse to hear her voice and watch her unconscious expressions of concentration.

Deciding she needed a break after we put our history books away, Bella called Jacob to ask if she could come over after school the next afternoon. As when she was on the phone with Renée, I stood next to her and played with her hair, enjoying watching her shiver whenever my cold fingers brushed the back of her neck. I would have worried about my cold touch, except that she leaned into me each time, so I knew her shiver was one of excitement.

The mutt actually had the gall to be rude to her when he first answered and I held back my satisfied smirk at her tone when she answered him. I was less than satisfied at how happy he sounded when she told him of her desire to spend the afternoon with him. The school on the reservation had already ended for the summer, so she was free to come over immediately after we got done with ours. She submitted to my request to drive her to the reservation with poor grace, but at least she didn't fight me.

When I ran home that night, I found my brother pouring over the death records of a dozen different cities in which he had known Peter and Charlotte to hunt.

"Jazz," I greeted him warily. We hadn't really had a chance to talk since I'd told him of Maria's death and wasn't sure how he felt about it. He had been quite upset at the time, but that could also have been a reflection of Carlisle's anger. Now that the shock had worn off, he'd had time to think about my murder of a woman he'd spent nearly a century serving. Aside from the deed itself, I was worried that he would be angry. My omission hadn't just been a lie to Carlisle; I'd lied to him, too.

He looked up from the records with a sigh and pushed away from the long oval table. "How did you ever manage to track Victoria this way? These humans murder each other on a daily basis. They don't need our help keeping their numbers in check; they do a good enough job on their own of killing themselves off."

"I had a better starting point. I was only a few weeks behind her, whereas you have a year's worth of records to search," I pointed out.

"Hmph," he stretched and ran his hand through his hair. _Well? What do you want, Edward? Come to tell me some new disaster that your temper has gotten us into? Or perhaps share the news of another death? Alice probably has some living relatives that I don't know about, unless you've killed them, too._

I gasped, stung by his harsh thoughts.

He glanced at me and sighed. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

"No," I countered. "It wasn't. I should have told you sooner. I just… didn't know how. Or how you would take it. You and Maria were together for many decades, and I know that you were more than friends."

"Yes," he said slowly. "But I have Alice now."

"That doesn't change what you were to each other."

"What we were…" He studied my emotions for a moment. "I was her puppet, Edward. She cared less for me than most humans do for their dogs. There's a good reason why I left her, and not just because I was tired of the war, tired of killing vampires I had come to know and often like. If I hadn't left, she'd have killed me. I could feel her emotions, feel her turning against me. Even if Peter hadn't come back, I'd have left."

"Yes. You left. But you didn't kill her."

He stood up and leaned against the table to face me. He took a deep breath, crossed his arms, and narrowed his eyes. "I would have if I had thought I could get away with it."

"That doesn't mean it was right for _me_ to do so."

"How many have died because of her? Not just those that she directly killed and fed on. Not just those that she turned into vampires, either, but all of those that died at the teeth of those she created, too."

"Jasper, that's the kind of logic I used to tell myself when I killed humans. I'd say that I was saving the world from the monsters that inhabited it, but that didn't make me less of a monster."

"Did you hunt Maria down?"

"Well, yes, in a way. I hunted for her - "

"So that she could help you find Victoria."

"And I have little doubt that I'd have killed her, too, if I'd have found her. I _wish_ I had!"

He nodded. "And you would have been right to kill her, considering that she's been hunting Bella."

"I didn't exactly know that at the time."

"Maybe not, but the fact remains. She sent Laurent to kill Bella. She helped James on his hunt for her. Bella is your mate; killing Victoria is your right."

Enunciating each word angrily, I said, "Killing is _never_ right."

"Would it be right to allow Bella to be killed, then?"

"Of course not!"

"So, the lesser of two evils." He shrugged.

"That's a slippery slope, Jasper."

"Maybe so, Edward, but choosing not to act is also an act. It wasn't wrong for you to defend yourself. You need to stop feeling guilty for things that are beyond your control." Seeing my grimace, he allowed a wave of irritation flow from himself before gaining control of the emotion. "If she hadn't attacked you, would you have killed her?"

"I wanted to," I admitted. "I wanted to kill _all_ of them."

"But you didn't."

I hesitated before agreeing with him. "No."

"Maria's fate is of her own making. I understand why you didn't want to tell me, but you need to let it go now."

I nodded in relief.


	22. Declaration

**Declaration**

Listening to my classmates struggle over the history essay, I had to be careful not to laugh at Mike's anguish. He couldn't remember the differences in the countries involved in the world wars and kept mixing up the Axis and the Allies. I'd lived through the time period that I had to write about, so it would have been easy for me even without vampire recall, but really, had the boy _ever_ paid attention to anything other than girls, cars, and sports?

The few school hours over, I drove Bella to the borders of the reservation. Attempting to hide my nerves, I asked about her exams.

"History was easy, but I don't know about the Calculus. It seemed like it was making sense, so that probably means I failed."

Unable to hold back my laugh, I assured her, "I'm sure you did fine. Or, if you're really worried, I could bribe Mr. Varner to give you an A."

"Er, thanks, but no thanks," she declined.

I laughed once more, sure that the bribe wouldn't have been necessary anyway. My laughter died in my throat the moment I caught Jacob's thoughts. As I drove around the last bend in the road and saw his old car, Jacob began thinking about the last time I had dropped Bella off and my display of affection in front of him.

 _She graduates next week!_ _I may not get another chance to be alone with her before then. If I don't say something now,_ today _, it will be too late. I can't let her go to the filthy bloodsucker without a fight. I won't. I love her. I don't know what kind of sick fascination he has for her, or why he won't just leave her alone, but I've got to break his hold on her. …tick… She loves me. I know she does. If I can just make her see…_

I frowned, insulted, then sighed. As much as I might desire to rip him to shreds, I couldn't. The treaty aside, his pack aside as well – they would surely be quick to take their revenge – it was the knowledge that doing so would hurt Bella that stopped me, because I couldn't be sure he wasn't right. She cared for him. I knew she loved me, knew it with every fiber of my being, just as I knew I loved her, but something told me that she loved him, too. And I had to give her the chance to choose him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, knowing I was upset.

"Nothing," I lied, shaking my head. I wasn't about to tell her what he was thinking. I pressed my lips together and fought to hold back the growl I could feel wanting to rumble in my chest.

"You're not _listening_ to Jacob, are you?" she asked, her eyebrows raised and her mouth tight.

"It's not easy to ignore someone when he's shouting," I explained.

"Oh." She processed that for a moment. Then, as I parked the car, she whispered, "What's he shouting?"

My mouth twisted. "I'm absolutely certain he'll mention it himself."

I started to lean toward her, needing to kiss her again. I was terrified that when Jacob pressed Bella to admit her feelings for him, when he admitted his own to her as he planned to do, she might realize that she did care for him. What if this was my last chance to taste her lips?

At that moment, the mutt honked his horn twice. _Come on, come on! I don't think I can stand watching him kiss her again. So gross…_

"That's impolite," I said, unable to hold back my growl this time.

"That's Jacob," she said with a sigh and hopped out of my car before I could kiss her, or even tell her I loved her. Before she got into his car, she turned and waved at me. I wasn't sure what my expression was, but I had little doubt that something of my terror showed on my face. She frowned as she turned from me and got into his car.

I watched as they drove away before turning my own car around and heading into the mountains. Since none of us had to stay behind to watch Bella, we were all going to hunt that afternoon. I was staying the closest - only going into the Olympic National Park to catch whatever I could find. Well, except for a deer; my nose wrinkled at the very thought. I tasted my venom, thinking of Emmett who was likely catching a few grizzlies at that very moment. Goat Rocks was always overrun with them this time of year. He and Rose had left last night and I knew they were enjoying the chance to bond away from the rest of us.

Carlisle had left with Jasper as soon as he got in from the hospital that morning. They wanted to continue their strategic discussions; they'd done little else for the past week. Esme and Alice were going to a small forested region just outside of Olympia. They wanted to stop by Olympia on their way back to do some shopping for the party Alice had planned. I'd worried that they were too close to Seattle, but Alice assured me that she had looked at their trip closely and every stop was confirmed as safe. They'd probably be back before anyone else, more interested in shopping than in hunting right then.

If I got lucky, I'd find a bear of my own. If I got _very_ lucky, maybe even another lion. I doubted that I'd pass up a female if I spotted one this time, though I always preferred males. If I killed a lioness with a cub, the cub would die without its mother, so no reason not to drink the baby, too. There wouldn't be much blood in such a small creature, but I wondered if it might even be more potent. I knew there were some vampires who preyed solely on human children for that very reason.

I parked in a spot I'd used before and ran into the mountains, letting my senses lead the way. I quickly picked up the scent of a small dear, but passed it by. Bella would be spending the day with the mutt, so there was no reason to make my hunt such a short trip. If I had to go home to wait, I thought I might go mad, knowing what Jacob had planned. Since I had the day free to kill whatever I ran across, I might as well make good use of my time. I enjoyed running and stretched my legs out, leaping over fallen trees and scaling the cliffs until I arrived at the area for which I'd been aiming.

One of my favorite spots to hunt in the Olympic mountains was by a lake. It was at the base of a mountain and reflected the mountain and the sky. It was surrounded by a field that – at the right time of year – would bloom with wild flowers. The mountain lake would pick up the colors from them as well. It was a beautiful spot, and often frequented by both herd animals and the predators that preyed on them. I only had to be careful not to run into the humans who would also choose that spot as a hiking destination. I opened my mind, listening for any human thoughts. Finding none, I left the trees and headed for the lake.

My mind was filled with an image of Bella hunting there with me, for once not feeling jealous of Emmett's hunting partner. I longed for the promised future with her that Alice was so certain would happen.

Today would be a turning point.

When Jacob told Bella that he loved her, their relationship would change. Either they would become the couple that Jacob wanted them to be, or Bella's rejection of him would drive a wedge between them. If I thought God would listen to the prayers of a monster I would have fallen to my knees and prayed for Him to guide her back to me. Over the past year, I had nearly lost her to James, to Victoria, to Laurent, to her suicide attempt, and to my own stupidity. That she was still with me was a gift for which I knew I was unworthy. I had lived through believing her to be dead once and knew I would not survive losing her again.

My own desires for happiness were unimportant if Bella decided she wanted the wolf instead. Unlike myself, he could give her everything I wanted her to have – a human life, a life in the sun, a life with her parents, and a family of her own. He could offer her a future where she would not have to change, would not become a killer.

After Carlisle had forced me to reexamine my beliefs in my status as a living creature, I felt conflicted for the first time since the day I'd… died. _Was_ I truly dead? Or was this simply a different type of life, like Carlisle believed? If I wasn't alive, why had I feared for my life when it had been threatened? Could a dead creature change? It happened so rarely to a vampire, but it _did_ happen.

Gazing out over the mountain lake, I considered again the possibility. He believed we were alive, that our souls were not lost. For nearly a century, I had believed the opposite. If he was right, then that made my murders of the vampires just as bad as my murders of the humans had been. I'd felt just as much guilt when I'd killed them as I had when feeding on humans. I wondered if that was my soul speaking to me. Well, I supposed I would never know for certain until the day I was turned into ash, and by then, it would be too late to do anything about it.

Thinking of that future brought me back to Jacob and Bella. I had no doubt that the mutt had a soul, that he was alive. If she chose him, she would stay alive, and with no questions of whether or not her soul was intact. A part of me - a very small part – hoped that she would chose him, so that she could have everything that I wanted for her.

I was too selfish for anything more than that, though. I needed her with every fiber of my being, and as long as she was willing to be with me, I would do everything in my power to keep her happy with me. Unfortunately, the current state of siege meant that I could do little more than express my feelings for her physically. As often as possible, I used my lips, hands, and eyes to bind her to me.

I came across the scent of a bear and grinned, eagerly following it along the edge of the lake. The bear had ambled out into the water, but I skirted the edge and picked up where it came out, following the strong, wet bear scent through the field and into the trees. I found where it had stopped to rub itself against a tree, measuring the size of it by the height it had stretched with its claws to scrape the bark off of the tree. It wasn't very big, likely a black bear, not a grizzly, but I didn't care. My venom was flowing and I picked up my speed as the scent grew stronger, gaining on my prey.

The moment it came into sight, I launched myself upon the small beast, killing it quickly before draining it of its blood. I thought it likely to be a yearling, small as it was, and definitely sweeter, the flavor fuller, less musky than older bears often were. Not satisfied to stop with the single bear, I strolled through the trees, sniffing out something else to drink. I took my time, choosing my prey with care. Although I ran across several groupings of deer, I couldn't stand the thought of drinking another of the timid creatures and passed them by. The moose that I found, though, was a huge creature and a more aggressive animal than a deer.

Uncomfortably full now from the bear, the moose, and a badger I'd snacked on – although small, they were vicious enough to make them worth it – I trotted back to my car after rinsing off in the lake. Though the kills themselves hadn't been messy, burying them after always was, and I'd been as careful as always to hide my kills. When I opened my car door, I saw Bella's small phone on the seat and felt a moment of panic. She'd left her phone behind.

_Damn!_

Well, I would just go to the border and wait for her there. At least that meant I wouldn't have to go home and listen to Emmett and Jasper's eternal debate over Bella's anticipated kills. It had already been several hours, but I thought it likely that she planned on spending the entire afternoon there. While I'd hunted, I had managed not to dwell on Jacob's plans, but the images from his mind returned to me now.

While planning on telling her about his feelings, he'd imagined her reaction. I hated seeing him imagine her kissing him. I knew she cared for him and dreaded the coming hours. I'd have to wait, powerless to do anything else, while a boy I hated courted the girl I loved.

I wasn't far from town when my phone rang. I was shocked to see Charlie's number. If Bella was already at home, I doubted things had gone well for the mutt. I answered with a hopeful grin, "Bella? You left the phone… I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?"

"Yes," her voice was full of fury. "Will you come and get me, please?"

I was astonished at the sound of her voice. Charlie's house was closer to the park than the reservation. I was nearly there, but I didn't think I could stand waiting until I got there to find out why she was upset. "I'm on my way. What's wrong?"

"I want Carlisle to look at my hand," she explained, her voice shaking with her outrage. "I think it's broken."

I felt a fury overtake me and fought to calm my rage at the thought of my Bella broken. I really _shouldn't_ kill Jacob. Fighting to control my voice, I asked, "What happened?"

"I punched Jacob."

"Good," I said, unable to keep the pleasure out of my voice. If she'd accepted his advances, she would not have come home with a broken hand. I couldn't imagine his confessions of love making her punch him, though. "Though I'm sorry you're hurt," I added, hating the thought of her in any kind of pain.

Her bitter laugh was a harsh exhalation. "I wish I'd hurt _him_. I didn't do any damage at all."

I felt a smug smile taking over my face. She wanted him to hurt? I'd be glad to oblige. "I can fix that."

Although I expected her to deny it, to caution me not to start anything with the wolves, she growled, "I was hoping you'd say that."

I was shocked into silence. She actually sounded like she meant it. And if she'd hit him hard enough to have broken her hand… What had the mutt _done?_

"That doesn't sound like you," I said, cautiously. "What did he _do?"_

"He kissed me," she said, and I could hear the fury in her voice still. My foot pushed the gas pedal to the floor, but I was unable to speak. He'd kissed her! Apparently _without_ her permission, too. I caught the sound of two male voices speaking, though I couldn't quite make out the words.

"Is the dog still there?" I asked.

"Yes."

"I'm around the corner." I hung up and swerved around the cars in my way. Blowing through a red light, I ignored the drivers' blaring horns.

I had to master my fury. It was one thing for Bella to punch the dog. If I touched him, it would likely end in his death and I'd promised myself not to give into my anger anymore. Seconds after I hung up, I pulled up to her house and slammed on my breaks. I nearly took the door off as I flung myself out of the car. She opened the front door before I even had to knock.

"Let me see," I said, and gingerly took her hand in mine. She'd put an ice pack on it, but it was still swelling. I could feel the heat in her knuckle as the blood rushed to the injury; her body was already working to repair the damage she'd done.

"I think you're right about the break," I agreed. I looked at her, and smirked with pleasure. "I'm proud of you. You must have put some force behind this." Any woman kissed against her will should retaliate with a vengeance, and I was glad that she was so quick to defend herself.

"As much as I have," she assured me, and then sighed in regret. "Not enough apparently."

Barely touching her skin, I brushed my lips against her injured hand. "I'll take care of it."

Charlie and Jacob were in the living room. I could hear both of their thoughts and reminded myself not to say anything that Charlie shouldn't hear. He was not pleased. Although he wanted Jacob to be with his daughter, he was as upset as I was that Jacob had acted so inappropriately.

 _Jacob_ , on the other hand, was far too pleased with himself. He was replaying the memory of her lips against his, how she'd touched his face while they kissed, the way her body had felt against his, and her sweet taste. He was doing so deliberately, knowing I would be able to see it. Watching his memory, I thought his perception was skewed. She hadn't been caressing him, she'd been trying to push him off of her. All that he could see, though, was what he _wanted_ to see, and what he wanted me to see.

Making certain to keep my voice steady and calm, I called, "Jacob." I was very proud of my self-control. I thought Jacob was very lucky, though, that I was so full of blood at that moment. My current level of fury I was able to control; _thirsty_ fury, I might not have been.

Charlie'd had reason before to fear my anger. Although he'd never seen me act on it, he'd perceived my rages and was certain that there was something beneath my surface that made me dangerous. Hearing my smooth voice, he knew it for what it was: a mask. The smoother my voice, the fiercer my rage was certain to be, and I knew that it was only my fragile self-control that was keeping me from committing another murder.

"Now, now," he said, wondering how to diffuse the situation. Jacob sprang to his feet the moment I spoke his name.

... _boys... jealousy... teenagers, stupid and rash... get hurt..._

Charlie's quiet thoughts sounded worried as he followed Jacob down the hall.

 _...tick never kissed her like_ that, _I bet. She's just stubborn… know she loves me…_

Jacob was hoping I would attack him. He knew that would get me in trouble with Charlie, with the pack, and – he thought – with Bella, too. His eyes were bright with excitement and his muscles tense as he joined us by the door.

Charlie was staring at me with a scowl. "I don't want any fighting, do you understand? I can go put my badge on if that makes my request more official."

"That won't be necessary," I assured him.

"Why don't you arrest me, Dad? I'm the one throwing punches," Bella suggested to him, her voice bitter.

"Do you want to press charges, Jake?" he asked without taking his eyes off of me.

"No," Jacob said, smugly. He grinned and taunted me, "I'll take the trade any day."

I pressed my lips together, holding back my growl. There was a limit to my self-control and I thought we should probably leave soon before Jacob found out what that limit was.

"Dad, don't you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute." Bella's anger was soothing to me and I took a steadying breath.

Finally taking his eyes off of me, Charlie glared at Bella. "Enough, Bella."

The mutt had the nerve to start taunting me with images again. Bella in his arms, holding his hand while they walked on the beach, laughing with him while they rode their bikes. I thought it was definitely time to leave.

"Let's go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell." I slid my arm around her, unsubtly reminding Jacob that _I_ was the one she was with, not him. I pulled her through the door and she leaned her body against me, cradling her injured hand against her chest.

"Fine," she agreed.

I was elated. Not only had Jacob's plans gone horribly wrong – for him – but both Bella _and_ Charlie were furious with him. Although he had glared at me the whole time, my even tone and lack of open hostility had made Charlie hate me just a bit less - maybe even respect me a little. The only thing I was unhappy about at that moment was that Bella was in pain.

Jacob was watching me walk away from him with my arm around Bella. Furious, he decided that if his mental images couldn't provoke me to attack him, then his words would have to do it. He moved to follow us to my car, but Charlie grabbed his arm.

"What are you doing?" he whispered to the boy. "Are you crazy?"

"Give me a minute, Charlie. Don't worry, I'll be right back." Cocky as always, he closed the door in Charlie's face, not wanting him to hear our conversation. I could tell Charlie's opinion of him slipped even further and had to fight to hold back my grin.

 _Go ahead, dog,_ I thought, _Keep digging your hole._

It wasn't easy to keep my back turned to him. I could feel the fire in his bones as his hatred for me surged. He was remembering ripping Laurent apart, but picturing me in his place. I opened my car door, giving Bella a hand inside. I calmly closed the door before turning to face my enemy.

Through the open car window, I smelled Bella's adrenaline begin to flow as we faced each other. She might be angry with him, but that didn't mean she really wanted him hurt, or me in trouble for doing it. Charlie was watching us from out of the window, and I could hear him debating on coming out to make sure we didn't fight. Now that Bella was safely in my car, he wasn't sure that I would resist taking a swing at the dog.

Jacob planted himself in front of me and folded his arms across his chest. _Go ahead. I'm right here. You know you want to. Hit me – if you_ can _._

Proving myself the master of my emotions, I spoke to Jacob, "I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella." I was careful to keep my voice smooth and even, but I knew that my eyes were hard and fierce. I could tell that Jacob fighting the fire in his bones. The wolf form was trying to burst through to protect him from my obvious desire to rip him to pieces.

"Hmph," Bella disagreed with me.

Pleased with her evident anger, I turned so that I could see her angry face and smiled. I lightly trailed my fingers along her cheek, proving to Jacob that it was _my_ touch that Bella wanted, not his.

"It would bother you in the morning," I told her, amused. My amusement evaporated when I turned back to him. My voice still calm, I spoke to him again. "But if you ever bring her back damaged again – and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head – if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that mongrel?"

 _Good luck catching me, tick._ He rolled his eyes.

"Who's going back?" Bella grumbled to my pleasure.

Ignoring both of them, I continued, "And if you ever kiss her again, I _will_ break your jaw for her," I promised him.

"What if she wants me to?" he asked, certain that when her anger died, her desire for him would resurface, and she would turn from me to him.

"Hah!" Bella laughed derisively.

"If that's what she wants, then I won't object." I shrugged, knowing that if she had welcomed his kisses, I would not be taking her to Carlisle with a broken hand. Although Jacob still felt certain that she would choose him, he'd had his chance and had blown it. "You might want to wait for her to _say_ it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language – but it's your face."

Jacob grinned at me and ran through his memory of the kiss again, still believing her to be caressing his face, not trying to push him away from her.

"You wish," Bella grumbled.

"Yes," I agreed, "he does."

"Well, if you're done rummaging through my head, why don't you go take care of her hand?"

Not quite done with what I had to say to him, I spoke slowly, keeping a tight control on my fury. "One more thing. I'll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will." Jacob would survive without her, move on to someone who – for whatever reason – welcomed the mutt's advances. _I_ would not. I wasn't just fighting for her love, I was fighting for my life.

"Good," Jacob said, harshly. "It's no fun beating someone who forfeits." _She doesn't belong to you, and the more you try to force her to be, the faster she'll be mine._

"She _is_ mine," I countered, losing my grip on my anger. "I didn't say I would fight fair."

"Neither did I."

"Best of luck." I sneered.

"Yes, may the best _man_ win." _… inhuman monster…_

The boy was sixteen while I was a hundred and four, and as a werewolf, he was less human than I. There was a man here, and it was _me_. "That sounds about right… pup." I grinned, pleased at being able to turn his words back on him. I watched him grimace and then lean around me to look at Bella. I didn't take my eyes from him, but could see her glare in his mind.

"I hope your hand feels better soon. I'm really sorry you're hurt."

Unwilling to accept his apology, she turned her face away from him.

I walked carefully to the driver's side and slid into my car beside Bella, grateful to feel her warmth on my skin. I started my car and drove away, leaving Jacob standing on the sidewalk.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"Irritated," she growled.

Unable to help myself, I chuckled and clarified. "I meant your hand."

"I've had worse," she shrugged.

"True," I agreed, unable to stop myself from remembering Jacob's memories of Bella's unhappy face or my own memories of her in the ballet studio. When we got back to my house, I was unsurprised to that find everyone had already returned from their hunting. I pulled into the garage to find Rosalie working on Emmett's Jeep. She hadn't been pleased with its ride in the mountains and was underneath the vehicle, tinkering with the suspension. He was sitting beside her, holding the Jeep up for her.

Trying not to jar Bella, I helped her out of my car, aware of Emmett's eyes on us.

"Fall down again, Bella?" he teased her with a laugh. _Edward that girl of yours has more accidents than anyone I've ever met!_

I scowled at him, but Bella was not in the mood for his teasing. "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face."

He stared at her in shock, trying to picture the fragile human taking on the huge wolf who had forced him to lose Victoria. He burst out laughing, nearly dropping the Jeep on Rosalie.

She caught it before it could fall on her face and mocked him, irritably, "Jasper's going to win the bet."

He instantly stopped laughing and regained his hold on the Jeep, while studying the girl at my side.

_Damn, I forgot to take her temper into account. Wonder if Jazz would be willing to renegotiate…_

"What bet?" Bella wondered.

_We aren't allowed to take the pack on, but I wonder if Bella would be willing to? What do you think, eh? Would Jasper be willing to add a few wolves to the kill equation?_

I hated the thought of Bella killing anything - even the wolf I hated so much - because I knew what it would do to her. Angry, I shook my head at Emmett and tried to pull Bella toward the house.

"Let's get you to Carlisle."

" _What bet?"_ she pressed me, refusing to move.

"Thanks, Rosalie," I said, sourly. Taking a firmer grip on her waist, I started walking to the house and she allowed me to pull her along, but refused to be diverted.

"Edward…"

Unable to deny her, but not wanting her to know, I evaded, "It's infantile. Emmett and Jasper like to gamble."

"Emmett will tell me," she said confidently and tried to turn back around.

My grip tightened, but I gave in with a sigh. "They're betting on how many times you… slip up in the first year."

"Oh."

I felt her body temperature drop as she took in my meaning.

"They have a bet about how many people I'll kill?" Her voice was strained, horrified.

"Yes." I wondered if cautioning her about the realities of what she could expect would make her change her mind and elaborated. "Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper's favor."

"Jasper's betting high," she whispered.

"It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He's tired of being the weakest link."

"Sure. Of course it will." Her voice was wooden and unemotional now. "I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not?"

I glanced at her and saw her wide eyes, fixed on something only she could see, her mouth pulled into a grimace. How desperately I wanted her to change her mind!

"You don't need to worry about it now. In fact, you don't have to worry about it ever, if you don't want to."

She groaned, and I hurried her into the house, not wanting to have to listen to Emmett and Rose who were ready to pick up the debate once again. Rosalie was picturing news programs reporting a string of fatalities in Alaska, of entire towns disappearing without a trace, victims of Bella's uncontrollable newborn thirst.

Carlisle confirmed that she had broken her knuckle, but accepted her desire to wear a brace, rather than a cast. She promised she'd keep the brace on and I vowed to see to it that she did so. Knowing how she didn't like to be taken care of, I was certain that she would resist wearing it once away from Carlisle's penetrating gaze.

While he examined her hand and fitted her for the brace, I followed his thoughts. _She must have been seriously angry to have done this much damage. It's only a fracture, but most people don't break their bones on other people's faces. That temper of hers is going to get her into trouble… one thing the two of them have in common, at least._ I growled low at him and he glanced at me, knowing I had heard his thoughts.

_I'm sorry, Edward, but you know as well as I do that you have a temper. I've been very proud of the way you have controlled it lately, but it only takes one second… A single slip can change everything._

I nodded at him, acknowledging the truth in his words. I'd been ashamed of my lapses, in the way my anger took over my reason. I wondered if she would have the same problems when she was a vampire and could do damage to others, and not just herself. I clenched my teeth and watched her face, trying to see why she refused to accept what being a vampire truly meant. I saw her unhappy expression and noticed when she flinched, though Carlisle didn't seem to be moving her enough to cause her any discomfort. When I asked her about it, she denied hurting. I was certain that _something_ was causing her pain, but when she met my eyes, I saw fear in them, not pain.


	23. Epoch

 

 

**Epoch**

Charlie's eyes met mine in the rear view mirror and I had to hold back my laugh. He was delighted in the circumstance that placed me – however briefly – in the backseat of his police cruiser. He knew that I was there of my own free will, and not riding as a criminal or even a suspect, but he enjoyed the sensation of looking at me behind the heavy-duty plastic partition, nonetheless.

… _put a permanent divider between that boy and my daughter…_

I grinned again. As if a piece of plastic - bullet-proof or not - had any hope of keeping Bella away from me. When not meeting Charlie's eyes, I tried to catch Bella's, but she was staring moodily out of the window from the front seat. Something was troubling her, but it could have just been nerves over the party, or the graduation itself. Her heart was pounding and I smelled a steady stream of adrenaline in her system that was making me dizzy in the close confines of the car.

When Charlie finally found an available space in the crowded parking lot, he considered – briefly – leaving me trapped in the backseat. With no handles in the back, he thought I would be unable to get out, and found the idea amusing. I did, too, because I could easily have torn the door off, or punched through the the roof, or broken through the partition and climbed out through the front seat. Not giving in to the fleeting desire, he opened my door, and then Bella's before retrieving his coat and our graduation robes from the trunk.

Gratefully breathing in the fresh air, I offered my hand to Bella and pulled her out of the car. She was frowning and I wondered if more was bothering her than graduation.

"Are you all right?" I whispered in her ear.

"Nervous."

I appraised her in the outfit that Alice had bought for her. She hadn't let me see it before delivering it to Bella's house, but I had caught glimpses of the deep blue color in her mind. Bella was flushed, the two bright spots of red on her cheeks evidence of her nerves. The blue set off her translucent skin tone, enhancing the cream and roses of her natural beauty. Alice knew the color was my favorite on her; I'd have to remember to compliment her choice when I saw her again. I'd only seen Bella dressed up a couple of times before and wished Charlie wasn't so close. The pretty skirt and blouse made me want to hold her closer and explore the way the material felt against her curves.

"You are so beautiful," was all I had time to say before Charlie squeezed between us to drape his arm around his daughter's shoulders.

"Are you excited?" Charlie asked her.

"Not really," she said with a tremble in her voice.

"Bella, this is a big deal. You're graduating from high school. It's the real world for you now. College. Living on your own… You're not my little girl anymore." Charlie worked to keep his voice from cracking. I hung back, not minding too much that he was walking her into the building. He was right. This was a big moment for her - one I had both looked forward to and dreaded for months. It was a big moment for him, too, and I wasn't willing to take it from him. If Bella had her way, he wouldn't have many more.

"Dad," she groaned. "Please don't get all weepy on me."

Hiding the emotions he felt, he denied, "Who's weepy? Now, why aren't you excited?" he diverted the conversation away from him back to Bella.

"I don't know, Dad. I guess it hasn't hit yet or something." There was something wrong in her voice, but I couldn't quite place it.

"It's good that Alice is throwing this party. You need something to perk you up."

"Sure," she agreed, sourly. "A party's exactly what I need."

His words reminding me that I wasn't the only Cullen graduating that day, I listened for my family. Quickly scanning through the minds in the parking lot, I found my family's familiar thoughts. Alice wasn't with them, though.

 _How odd._ I wondered why she wasn't riding with them. Feeling like there was something I was missing, I scanned their minds. Carlisle and Esme were reminiscing over similar ceremonies where they'd watched us graduate. Rose was busy critiquing the gowns and dresses the girls were wearing. Although not as fanatic about fashion as Alice was, Rosalie was still very particular about her wardrobe. Emmett was picking Jasper's fight moves apart, looking for pointers. They'd done nothing but wrestle since we'd returned from our hunting trips a few days earlier.

Charlie had to join the audience while Bella and I made our way to the front office. I didn't want to be separated from her, but Mr. Varner ordered me to join the rest of the C's, directing her to the back with the S's. While I stood behind Tyler Crowley – who was studiously ignoring me – I looked in vain for my sister.

Alice had spent the entire night decorating the house, shooing the rest of us away whenever we'd tried to help. The house had been completely redecorated for the party, including wrapping guiding lights around the trees that lined the three mile long driveway up to our house. Despite the fact that Bella had been to our house numerous times, she still had trouble finding the turn off and we knew the other humans would never find it otherwise. We'd set our driveway up that way specifically to discourage the few visitors who had initially attempted to include us in society when we'd first moved into town. She had left the house while I was getting ready, dropped Bella's outfit off to her, and hurried off again before I even saw her. She should have been either with the rest of our family, or here, waiting for the ceremony.

Impatiently waiting for the endless speeches about new beginnings to be over with already, I scanned the crowd seated around us in the gym and found my family, none of whom were at all interested in why Alice wasn't seated beside me. _Deliberately_ uninterested. Something was wrong and I felt fear clenching my stomach as I turned in my seat to see Bella's anxious face. She was looking politely at Eric Yorkie while he gave his speech, but I didn't think she was seeing him. Her eyes were unfocused and worried, her lips pressed together, and the crease deep between her eyes.

Finally, we left our seats to receive our diplomas. Alice slipped in front of me as though she had always been there, but refused to meet my eyes. Her mind was busy, working hard to keep me out and I felt the fear shoot through me again.

"Alice! _What_ is going on?!" I whispered to her, but she shook her head and concentrated harder on not letting me hear her thoughts.

Finally, it was over, all the diplomas given out, hats tossed into the air, and students dismissed to join their families. I tried to grab for her, but Alice scooted away from me. I was left holding a hunk of yellow polyester fabric from the sleeve of her robe. She was gone in a flash, and I was the only one who saw the movement of the door as it closed behind her.

Needing to be with Bella again, I turned and scanned the minds around me, looking for Bella's face in the sea of yellow graduation robes. All too familiar with Jessica Stanley's mind, I found Bella at last, being cried on while the petty girl hugged her as though they had been the best of friends. Thankfully, she scurried away to weep on someone else and I wove through the crowd to wrap my arms around my Bella.

"Congratulations," I murmured in her ear, wondering again how long I would be able to convince her to remain human.

"Um, thanks." Her eyes were darting around, glancing occasionally back to my face before sliding away to search through the crowd again.

"You don't look like you're over the nerves yet," I teased her, hoping to gain some insight into what was bothering her.

"Not quite yet," she agreed.

"What's left to worry about?" I probed. "The party? It won't be that horrible."

"You're probably right."

I frowned. Graduation was over, she didn't seem to be worried about the party… Who was she searching for? I'd heard Jacob and Charlie hooting when Bella's name had been called, but after her fury with him, I didn't think it likely that Jacob would be the one she was looking for.

Tired of being evaded, I asked, "Who are you looking for?"

Her eyes darted back to me and a guilty expression came over her face. "Alice – where is she?"

Wary, I answered her, "She ran out as soon as she had her diploma." I looked toward the door where Alice had fled, unable to see what could have both Bella and Alice acting so strangely.

"Worrying about Alice?" she guessed, able to see through me better far than I ever did her.

"Er…" I stalled, unable to explain why I felt so uneasy.

"What was she thinking about anyway? To keep you out, I mean."

My eyes fixed instantly back on hers, which were calmer now, the look of guilt and worry gone. "She was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on to Korean sign language."

Bella chuckled nervously. "I suppose that _would_ keep her head busy enough."

" _You_ know what she's hiding from me," I realized.

"Sure," she agreed with a thin smile. "I'm the one who came up with it."

My muscles locked and I waited in dread for Bella to tell me whatever it was that had Alice so worried and Bella so nervous. She glanced around again and I had to force myself to be patient, _not_ to beg her to tell me what was going on, to not keep me worrying and wondering.

When she finally spoke, her voice was barely a whisper and I was sure that none of the humans in the crowd around us would be able to hear her words. "Knowing Alice, she'll probably try to keep this from you until after the party. But since I'm all for the party being canceled – well, don't go berserk, regardless, okay? It's always better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow."

Bella's cryptic statements did nothing to ease my worry, so I demanded, "What are you talking about?"

"Just stay calm, okay?" she pleaded with me.

I nodded, certain that nothing she had to say would be good if she was this worried about my reaction.

Still whispering, she explained, "I think you're wrong about things coming at us from all sides. I think it's mostly coming at us from one side… and I think it's coming at me, really. It's all connected, it has to be. It's just one person who's messing with Alice's visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It's got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes – all of it goes together. My scent is for them."

As she spoke, I could feel my body grow colder. Her words painted a picture so horrifying I was sure the reason I hadn't thought of it myself was that my consciousness refused to consider the possibility. An entire _army_ of bloodthirsty newborns - somewhere around twenty of the vile creatures - created for the sole purpose of killing my angel, my Bella, my only reason for living. The last time a vampire had been after her, she had barely survived, and there had only been two of them that time – the hunter and his mate. Now, there was an army after her, and they had her _scent!_

I was motionless, not even breathing, my eyes wide, my mouth tight. I was certain that she was right; it made too much sense. How could I ever protect her from an army? It was one thing when they had been after my family; the members of my family were vampires too, and strong with their extra abilities, their training, and their bonds of love. Between the seven of us, we'd be able to fight them off as they came at us. _Bella,_ on the other hand, was frail and fragile, so breakable and defenseless, and her scent – the siren call of her blood – drew every danger directly toward her. I was certain that I could fight off the vampires coming for _me,_ no matter how many of them there were. _If_ they were aimed at me. But with the army aimed at Bella, all it would take would be for one to break through my guard for a single second, and she would be dead.

"But no one's coming for you, don't you see? This is good – Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!"

If I hadn't been so terrified, I would have been furious at her. In what universe could an army of vampires intent on attacking Bella ever be considered _good?_ Only my Bella would think so – forever worried about everyone but herself, even though she was the only one truly in danger!

"Calm," she reminded me, placing a warm hand against my frozen cheek.

Before I could overcome my shock, her father appeared and grabbed her in an enthusiastic hug. "Bella! Congratulations, baby!" It took all of my restraint not to snatch her away from him. I was frozen, my arms extended toward her, fighting my need to pull her into the protection of my arms. I wanted to tear her away from him, to sprint out of the building so fast we would seem to disappear, to run far and fast and hide her from the enemy who was so determined to destroy our lives.

Bella's wide eyes were locked on mine. "Thanks," she said to Charlie.

The press of bodies around us made me feel trapped and helpless. That army didn't care how many humans they hurt; what if they were on their way here, _now?_ There were too many people. All of them were talking loudly, their thoughts screaming in excitement, but to me, each happy shriek sounded like a cry of pain or terror. My mind was overwhelmed with the images of an army of vampires descending on the happy crowd, of them killing the graduates and their families. I could see it far too clearly; the speed with which they would attack – the first victims would be the lucky ones, dead before they knew anything was coming for them – the bodies would pile and the confusion would set in just before the screaming would start.

"…Edward?" Charlie's voice broke me out of the horrifying images. Still stunned and immobile, I wasn't sure what he had said and couldn't respond.

… _well? Is that boy joining us or not? …_

A second before he could see my terrified face, I pulled myself together and choked out, "No, thank you."

My words may have been polite, but my tone hardly was, and I was aware of Charlie's displeasure at my rudeness. He frowned at me.

… _hey, kid, I invited you, didn't I? … have to be rude about it…_

"Do you have plans with your parents?"

"Yes. If you'll excuse me…" Although glad for the excuse he provided, I was unable to keep the snarl out of my voice as I stalked off, my hands balled into fists, my legs trembling with the need to sprint away from the distracting noise of the crowd.

Once away from prying eyes, I ran through the darkness in a wide circle around the school, listening out with my mind as far as I could stretch, but I could detect no one. No army surrounded the school with murder on their minds. No vampires were bearing down on my fragile human girl with the intent of stealing her life. Bella was – for the moment – safe. My immediate fears relieved, I gave in to the greater fear. The army wasn't here _now_ , but that would change, and when it did…

I ripped a tree out of the ground and hurled it into the forest.

_Edward._

Searching the forest for my sister, I turned in a circle, but she was nowhere to be seen. I tried to look through her eyes to find her, but she was keeping them closed. Livid that she was hiding not only her knowledge of the future and the army from me, but also herself, I yelled into the dark, "How did you not see this, Alice?"

"It's not my fault!" she squeaked.

My head snapped in the direction from which her voice had come, and I started to sprint toward her, but was aware from the visions in her mind that she'd already seen me coming and had moved.

"Why would you hide this from me? So I could go through some ridiculous human charade? _Graduation!?_ WHO THE HELL CARES? How many times have I graduated from high school now? A dozen? _Two?"_ I kicked out, sending another tree toppling over. The sharp cracking sound was gratifying, but essentially unsatisfying. These trees weren't what threatened Bella.

_Keeping up appearances is important, Edward!_

My hands clenched and unclenched as I paced the forest, searching for a scent or any indication from her mind that would help me to find my elusive sister. "How dare you force me to sit through that pointless ceremony when you _knew_ that an army of bloodthirsty _newborns_ was after Bella? Why, Alice? Why would you do that to me?"

_Listen to me. **Listen!**_

I finally stopped screaming at her, abruptly afraid of what she might have seen that could have been worse than an army.

 _You need to calm down,_ her mental voice crooned.

My eyes narrowed as I continued to scan the trees for a glimpse of Alice's pale shimmer. Calm down?! I had no desire to do any such thing. What I needed was not to be calm, but to annihilate the threat to my Bella!

"Why are you hiding from me? Bella already told me of the army. What _else_ are you keeping from me?" I growled in a low voice, trying - and failing - to regain my composure.

Rather than answer me, she showed me a sight that made my veins turn to ice. My own face, distorted and angry, inches from her own. My hands like claws, digging into the granite skin of her arms. Her marble-smooth skin cracked and broken under the force of my angry grip as I raged at her.

The sight stopped me in my tracks in astonishment.

"I'm trying to avoid a future that you'll regret," she whispered as she peeked out from a tree far from where I stood.

"I - I would never hurt you, Alice" I tried to object.

"On purpose? No, of course not." _But deny that you aren't in control of yourself._

I couldn't, as she well knew. My muscles were still trembling against the desire to express my anger toward the army. Rather than fulfill her vision, I held myself completely still as she strode slowly through the trees to where I stood.

"From the moment Bella figured out what was going on, I have done _nothing_ except for watch her future! And yours, and all of our family's. I considered every possibility. Telling you before graduation was not an option. Charlie would have been suspicious of you for missing the ceremony and would never have let Bella come over afterwards. You would have ended up exposing us to him in the fight that would have caused. Taking her before the ceremony would have resulted in a manhunt that would have been dangerous for Charlie, not to mention the fury Bella would have had for you for putting her father in harm's way. Believe me, you don't want to disrupt her life like that.

"As far as the army is concerned, telling you now or later would have made no difference. They aren't coming tonight, so what difference was you knowing one hour earlier going to make?"

I wanted to refute her words, but her logic and foreknowledge were absolute. I wouldn't have been able to keep up my human appearance then, any more than I was capable of acting calm and rational now. Seeing the affect her words had on me, she continued recounting what her visions had told her.

"However, it would have made a huge difference to everyone in the town. We attract too much notice as it is and half the town is going to be at our house in less than two hours! It's a _graduation_ party. They would have asked questions if we weren't here."

"And the army? Can you see them at all?"

"No," she admitted.

Speaking through clenched teeth, I did my best not to scream at her. "Then how do you know they aren't coming?"

"I know _because_ I don't see them! Think, Edward! You're smart; stop letting your fear control you and use that brain of yours. _If_ they were coming, then I _would_ see them! As long as I don't, as long as they are invisible to me, then Bella is not in danger from them. It will only be when they do decide to come that I will see them."

I forced myself to admit she was right. The one playing with the holes in Alice's vision was able to do so only as long as no attack was planned. There was no way they would be able to sneak up on her once they did decide to come. And we already had plans to go to Seattle before that could happen. My hands balled into fists to prevent me from ripping things up as I began pacing. I needed _some_ kind of outlet for my fear and anger.

 _No,_ I realized. _I needed_ _Bella._

Focusing back on the milling crowd of humans, I found Charlie and Bella still surrounded by the sea of yellow robes. Charlie was chatting with the other parents, and congratulations were still being passed around.

"Look, I know you're upset, I am, too! But think how much better it is now that Bella has figured this out. Emmett has been itching to go to Seattle to take care of things – "

"He's not the only one," I growled. How _good_ it would feel to be able to rip the monsters who were threatening my Bella apart! I could recall all too clearly what it felt and sounded like to tear a vampire limb from limb and my arms ached to be able to do that to the army. As angry as I was at that moment, I felt I could take them all on single-handedly.

" – and before, we thought we were surrounded by numerous enemies," she continued as though I hadn't spoken. "Now, we know it's being orchestrated by someone specific. I'm thinking Caius."

I looked at her sharply. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, since the day when the intruder broke into Bella's house, and you mentioned that this might not be a sanctioned attack – not directly – it seemed logical that one of the other members of the Volturi were behind this, not Aro. So I've taken to watching them, too. I keep hearing Caius mention Seattle."

"Why haven't you told me this before?" I demanded, still not over my anger that she was hiding _anything_ from me at this point.

"Because, just like everyone else, he's vague! I'd hear him say the city's name, but I can't tell what he's discussing, or thinking about discussing. For all I know, he might just be thinking about going there to wipe out the newborns. I didn't really have anything specific _to_ tell you. You're anxious enough already."

I scoffed and resumed my pacing.

"He's their main law-enforcer. Someone in Seattle is breaking the law. It could simply be that he wants to put a stop to it. All I know is that he's been dwelling on the city, on what's going on there."

"It would be nice if they'd make themselves useful and take care of this mess for us. If you saw them visit, I could take Bella somewhere…" I almost said "somewhere safe," but at that moment, I wasn't sure such a place existed for the girl that I loved.

"I think it's safe to say they aren't going to involve themselves."

My mouth twisted, but I nodded, agreeing with her. If they were going to, either they would've already, or they already had, and were behind the whole thing. Either way, we couldn't count on them to put a stop to it.

After a moment of watching me pace, she said, "Bella and Charlie will be leaving in a minute."

Her eyes were wary when I met them. She knew the lengths to which my temper had taken me before and was worried at my lack of self-control. How many ways did I need to be reminded that I was a monster? I'd killed men for doing the very thing I had nearly done to her. I forced myself to take a few calm breaths before speaking to her again.

"Thank you, Alice. And, thanks for everything. I know you are trying your best. Please, forgive me for yelling at you. And for, you know," I gestured toward her, lamely, "your arms."

She hugged me briefly, a fierce thought of, _Love you, bro,_ in her mind before she flitted off. I didn't even get the chance to tell her I loved her back. I shook my head. I was so lucky to have Alice for my sister.

Keeping to the trees, I followed Charlie's cruiser to his favorite restaurant and positioned myself where I could watch them eat. To my immense relief, they were given a table right by the window and I could see Bella clearly. Charlie was in a good mood, talking over seat-backs and across the aisles to the other parents. The restaurant was packed; nearly everyone who had attended graduation was there.

It seemed to take forever. I could have finished off an entire pride of lions in the time it took Charlie to finish his single steak! Taking my eyes off of Bella only for the brief moments I took to run in circles around the restaurant, I never wavered in my search for a threat. Finally, Charlie finished his meal and Bella left the restaurant. I was grateful that he stayed behind for a quick good-bye to some of the other parents, giving me a few moments alone with her.

She leaned against the cruiser, waiting for him and I sprinted to her side. Her nerves were evident in the way she gasped at my sudden appearance, but she quickly melted against me when I pulled her into my embrace. Not happy to simply be holding her, I tilted her face up to mine and kissed her. It took all of my willpower to be gentle, to not crush her soft mouth with mine, or her fragile, so-breakable body against me. My need for her was so consuming, I wasn't sure I could ever let her out of my arms again.

Her arms wound around me and she pressed her body against mine. I could feel her pounding heart and knew that she was as scared as I was at that moment. Her fear induced adrenaline only served to enhance her scent and I felt my arms tighten their hold on her. Realizing she needed to breathe, I released her lips, but not my hold on her body.

"How are you?" she asked, feeling my tension.

"Not so great," I admitted. "But I've got a handle on myself. I'm sorry that I lost it back there." I felt guilty. She'd been amazing, so strong and calm, where I had panicked and run off.

"My fault," she said, taking even the blame for my cowardice upon herself. "I should have waited to tell you."

"No. This is something I needed to know. I can't believe I didn't see it!" I said with disgust.

"You've got a lot on your mind."

"And you don't?" I countered and pulled her to me again, needing to taste her lips. I needed her strength and her amazing courage if I was going to make it through Alice's party, not to mention the rest of the week until we left.

Charlie's thoughts broke through the crowd's noise and I pulled away from her with difficulty.

"Charlie's on his way," I explained.

"I'll have him drop me at your house."

"I'll follow you there," I promised her.

"That's not really necessary," she protested as I sprinted into the trees. As if I was going to let her out of my sight for one moment.


	24. Alliance

**Author's Note**

Before you read this chapter, I'd like to invite you to reread the previous chapter if you haven't done so already. I wasn't pleased with Edward's treatment of Alice and decided some changes were necessary. I tried a couple of drafts, and eventually came up with one that works. I hope you like the changes!

Anyway, it's time to party!

~L~

* * *

**Alliance**

I watched from the trees while Bella climbed the stairs leading up to my porch. Once Charlie was around the bend of the long driveway and unable to see me, I sprinted to her side.

"Bella?" I called her name, not wanting to startle her. She turned to face me and I pulled her to me again. Unable to fully master the fear of losing her that I felt, I captured her lips, tasting their sweetness as though it could have been the last time. Before I was done kissing her, she pulled away from me.

"Let's get this stupid party over with," she said with a tremble in her voice.

I touched her face lightly, my hands on each of her soft cheeks, and tilted her face so that she looked into my eyes. I vowed to her, "I won't let anything happen to you."

She traced my lips with her warm fingers. "I'm not worried about myself so much."

I rolled my eyes. When was she ever? "Why am I not surprised by that?" I muttered. I took a steadying breath and attempted to control my fear. "Ready to celebrate?"

Bella let out a groan, but didn't argue when I pulled her toward the house. I wound my arm around her waist, thinking as I did that I wasn't likely to let her go again. She stopped on the threshold and stared in awe at the transformation our house had undergone.

"Unbelievable."

"Alice will be Alice," I said with a shrug. The interior of the house had been decorated to match Alice's vision. The long, antique table Esme had bought to replace the one I had broken was filled with food. She'd been cooking nonstop for the past three days in preparation. Although I didn't mind helping Bella cook for Charlie, or cooking for her, I found human food revolting and had stayed out of Esme's way. I was glad I'd had Bella's house to escape from the smells of cooking that had invaded our home.

Emmett and Jasper had moved all of the furniture into the garage, so that there was plenty of room for all of the bodies – and no chance a clumsy human would damage my piano – and Alice had strung up lights that flashed and blinked along the walls. She'd even hung a disco ball from the ceiling and positioned a color changing strobe light to shine on it so that as the ball spun, the lights bounced around and lit up a new place in the room.

When Esme and Alice had gone shopping in Olympia, they had gotten more than just the outfit for Bella and food for the party. Alice had picked up the miles of extension cords it took to line our driveway with glittering lights to help the humans find their way to our hidden house, as well as the lights themselves. She'd bought all of the decorations that currently lit our living room, and they had splurged on a new stereo system, complete with huge speakers. Alice waited for Bella and me by two enormous selections of music.

"Edward!" she called to get my attention away from watching Bella's reaction to the house. "I need your advice. Should we give them familiar and comforting? Or educate their taste in music?" she asked, gesturing at the two stacks.

Reading the titles on some of the CD cases, I concluded that she must have raided my music selection, and had evidently replaced all of the CDs I'd smashed last year. When trying to leave Bella, I'd destroyed most of my music in a fit of rage. I hadn't bothered to listen to much music since returning to Forks. Bella's voice was the only music in my life that I truly wanted to hear. Although I would have enjoyed seeing our classmate's reactions to some of my more obscure albums, I shrugged and said, "Keep it comforting. You can only lead the horse to water."

With a nod, Alice began to pack the rejects away.

"I think I'm underdressed," Bella muttered.

I glanced at Alice's sequined tank top and red leather pants, at my own rather boring shirt – I'd refused Alice's suggestions for a suit and tie; I _was_ a teenager, after all – and then stared at the pretty blue blouse and skirt Alice had provided Bella with.

I smiled and assured her, "You're perfect."

"You'll do," Alice grumbled. I knew she wished she could have dressed Bella up even more than she had already, had planned on styling her hair and doing her nails, but Bella's revelation of the army's intent to kill her had cut those plans short.

"Thanks," Bella mumbled sourly. Her voice took on a wistful tone, "Do you really think people will come?" Alice wrinkled her nose at Bella's obvious distaste for the coming party and if I hadn't been so nervous about the army, I would have laughed. An army of vampires coming for her, and it was attending a party that she was worried about.

Since Alice had sent the invitations, I had heard various conversations among the students, debating whether or not to come to our house. Although none of the humans ever really felt comfortable in our presence, their curiosity overruled their instinctive, unnamed fear.

"Everyone will come," I answered with certainty. "They're all dying to see the inside of the reclusive Cullens' mystery house."

"Fabulous," Bella groaned.

"Come on, Alice has kept your revelation to herself. We need to tell the others." With my arm firmly wrapped around her, I pulled Bella out to the clearing where Jasper and Emmett were discussing newborns again, then into the kitchen to collect Esme and Rosalie, and then upstairs to Carlisle's study. Normally, we would have had this kind of discussion around Esme's table, but since it was loaded with food, we settled for standing around Carlisle's desk.

"What is it this time, Edward? Another intruder?" Jasper could feel the terror flowing off of me and for once, I didn't bother to try to hide it.

"Well, no. It's not another intruder, but it's related. Bella," I turned to stroke my fingers along her cheek, "had an idea. Well, a realization, really."

"In English, please?" Emmett grumbled at me.

"The army and the intruder are connected. Whoever created the army is the same one playing with Alice's visions. They sent the intruder, to make certain that, if they didn't act, Alice wouldn't see them. Alice is certain that the Volturi are involved, too."

"This isn't like them," Jasper protested. "Newborn armies aren't exactly legal."

"She thinks it's not official. She's watching for that, and Aro is certain to know it. So whoever is acting, is doing so without his knowledge. And since the intruder took Bella's things," I took a steadying breath before saying the worst of it, "it seems the entire army was created for the sole purpose of killing Bella."

All of their mouths dropped open in horror and understanding. Seeing their fear did nothing to help mine.

_...better change her soon. She's graduated, maybe I'll just do it tonight. Girl won't survive the summer… at this rate, she won't survive the party!_

_...don't believe that the Volturi would act in such a way._

_...they enforce the law! They wouldn't blatantly break it..._

_...go now! No army threatens_ my _little sister!_

_...always this human bringing danger to our family..._

I was bombarded with their shocked, angry, and confused thoughts. The fury coming off of Emmett was an echo of the rage I'd felt earlier, picked up and broadcast back to me by Jasper. It took all of my strength not to start screaming or breaking things again. Worse, I was enraged at _Carlisle_. He was always my pillar of strength and calm assurance. The certainty of Bella's looming death in his mind almost had me agreeing with him. I should change Bella _now._

Again I wondered, _How the hell am I supposed to protect Bella from an_ army? _Especially with her tendency to draw all danger toward herself!_ I folded Bella in my arms and reminded myself of my resolve not to force her into this life.

"No, Carlisle. No." I shook my head at him and was aware of his remorse.

_I'm sorry, my son. It is my instinct to protect you, and her as your mate…_

"I know. But not until this is over." He nodded, his troubled eyes never leaving mine and I knew that he would not act until we were ready. Relieved that Bella's life would not be ended that night by either the army or my father – or myself – I turned to my brothers. "Jazz, Em, we need to go as soon as possible. Have either of you had any luck tracking down your friends? Peter, Charlotte? The Irish coven? Anyone?"

Emmett made a disgusted noise in his throat. "No. Maggie is still mad at me, apparently. I've called the number she gave Carlisle numerous times, but she's not answering. I don't know how many more ways I can say I'm sorry to her. Woman's got a temper almost as bad as yours. And she holds a grudge, besides"

The last time we'd visited Ireland, Emmett had still been young enough to make mistakes. There had been a human that Maggie had been partial to. She'd been playing with him for over a year when we'd visited them. Emmett had come across the human and been unable to resist the call of his blood. While it hadn't called to him the way Bella's had to me, there were certain humans who just smelled too tempting for their own good. Maggie had been furious. _She'd_ been planning on killing the human and was livid that Emmett had stolen the opportunity from her.

Of course, Carlisle had forgiven him. It had been an accident, after all, but Maggie wasn't so forgiving.

"Garrett doesn't have a phone. I've tried tracking him down in the cities I know he usually haunts, but I can't seem to find a trace of him. Or Peter. It's like the entire community is avoiding us." Jasper frowned, not happy with our limited numbers against the size of the coming army.

"Well, we'll just have to make do on our own," Carlisle said, calmly.

"I'd feel better if we could just have a few extra – " Jasper glanced at Bella, and then stressed, " – _mature_ vampires on our side."

He took a breath and blew it out, deliberately filling his body with determination and pushing aside the worry. "Well, we don't. We can still make this work. Look," Jasper pulled the map of Seattle from the drawer where Carlisle had placed it. Rapidly, he marked the various places we'd identified their kills occurring the past three days. "It looks like they are in this section right now. If we team up, we can canvas these blocks here, here, and here. They won't all be together, so we just kill them as we run across them."

"I don't think we should split up," Emmett disagreed. "We're stronger together. Once we're in Seattle, Alice's sight should clear up. She'll see where we run across them, and Edward will be able to hear any that hide from us."

"Seattle is a large city," Jasper argued back. "It will take us too long unless we spread out. I agree that taking them down while they are out hunting individually would be easier, but if we all hunt together, they are bound to figure out what we're doing before we could kill enough of them to make a difference. Killing vampires isn't like killing humans. They're bound to see the fires we'd have to start. Then we'd have the whole army upon us at once, and we do _not_ want that."

I could see in his mind his memory of an attacking army and shuddered. No, we did not want them all to come at us at once.

The doorbell rang and cut our discussion of the coming battle short. My family had long ago perfected our human charade and they each played their parts. We all forced real-seeming smiles upon our faces and took up our positions in the living room while Alice turned the music up. When she answered the door, two of my least favorite humans were the first through the door.

Jessica and Mike had come with half a dozen others and all their eyes were wide and full of curiosity. I was probably the only one who heard the tremble in Bella's voice, but even if the humans could detect her nervousness, they would have no idea what is was from. Alice was smugly enjoying the effect her party lights had on our family and the humans. Our skin reflected light anyway, but the changing colors of her strobe lights made our unnatural appearance even more strange than usual. They all eyed us warily, not understanding the cause of their unease, and congregated around Bella, instead.

I refused to let go of her for even a second and ignored the humans as long as they did me, too. Bella let in more of her friends, then must have decided that closing the door was pointless and left it open. As more of our classmates arrived, the house filled with bodies, all talking and laughing. Alice was ecstatic at the success and I couldn't help myself from laughing at her smug expression.

… _won't fight me so hard next time I want to throw a party…_

Jasper and Emmett refused to be distracted by the party, and after the initial welcoming of our guests – and a little playful frightening of Mike for me – they retreated to a corner where they could discuss tactics in low voices. I paid attention to the various strategies they came up with and did my best to ignore the inane chatter of Jessica Stanley.

Esme joined my brothers to voice her own concerns. "What is Edward going to do with Bella while we go to Seattle?"

"I don't know," Emmett glanced over at me. He saw me watching them and raised his eyebrows. "Are you even going to be willing to come to Seattle with us if that means leaving Bella behind?"

I felt my arms tighten convulsively around her, but couldn't answer him. What _would_ I do with Bella when we went to Seattle? I couldn't let my family go alone, I couldn't take her with us, and I refused to leave her unprotected. For all I knew, they were waiting for just that opportunity – us to go to Seattle – in order for the one behind all of this to go after Bella directly. I didn't think Esme alone would be enough to protect her, and knew Rose was unwilling to be charged with her protection, but couldn't take any of the rest of my family away from the coming battle. Anyway, we needed _all_ of us there, Rose and Esme included.

"I would have suggested we leave her with the wolf pack, but I don't know if she'll be willing to go back after she broke her hand," Carlisle said. I felt a low growl in my chest at that thought and hugged her tight against me. Bringing back the memory of Bella's anger at Jacob, I tried to sooth my fury at the thought of her near him again.

Alice had been enjoying the humans' reaction to her party and was circling the room, leaving the rest of our family to their plans. I knew she didn't bother joining them because she knew she'd see everything once our plans were firm. I'd been keeping tabs on her mind, looking for just such an occurrence when I saw something that made my skin crawl. Knowing that she was safe here, I forced myself to let go of Bella briefly so I could go concentrate on my sister.

"Stay here," I whispered in her ear. "I'll be right back."

I could feel Bella's eyes on me as I slid through the crowd to reach my sister. Alice was holding onto the kitchen door frame, motionless, her eyes far away on a vision that only she and I could see. I used my body to shield her from the humans, wanting to make sure she was undisturbed while she saw the vision that would change all of our lives.

Not Seattle. The army had left their city, or were planning to. I saw roughly twenty newborns running through a part of the forest I recognized. They were nearly _here!_ I felt panic overtake me. They weren't near the reservation, so the mutts couldn't be counted on to help.

_Damn!_

I looked carefully at every face Alice could see, but saw no one I recognized. They were all newborn. And one of them… one of them held a red shirt I recognized all too well. They were carrying Bella's scent! I watched Alice trying to change the future, seeing us confront them in various places. No matter where we fought them, some got past us, continuing on to Forks, intent on catching the delicious smelling human at all costs.

I saw my family fighting them, Esme's broken body on the ground, her head completely crushed, Carlisle's face a murderous mask of rage and pain.

_No!_

Emmett went down under a pile of ten of the vile creatures. I saw Rosalie screaming and trying in vain to pull them off of him. One snuck up on her while she was distracted, and I watched as they pulled her apart, her head rolled away with an expression of horror still showing. Alice and Jasper were a blurry, fighting team, but they couldn't be everywhere at once. And where was _I?_

Alice concentrated on Bella and I saw myself at last, half a dozen newborns bearing down on me, Bella at my back, her face full of terror. The location changed over and over, but nowhere I tried to hide her was successful. The ones that broke away from my family found us. And no matter how many of them I killed, I couldn't save her! One would break through. I saw her die over and over.

_No. Oh God, please, no!_

Alice broke out of her vision and her terror-filled eyes met mine. She shook her head slowly. I turned away from her then, backing away from the horrible visions that filled my mind. I was afraid that if I stayed, I would end up destroying her as the source of the horror in my mind. I had to get out of the party before I broke something, or someone.

Like a coward, I ran. I left the party and closed my mind to Alice, refusing to see anymore. It was too horrible. My family was going to be killed. Not all of them, no, but even one death would be devastating. Esme's death would destroy Carlisle. Rose and Emmett, my big bear of a brother, dead. _Bella_. Bella dead. And me, too. Alice and Jasper would be left with a broken Carlisle. It was too much to bear.

Trying to gain control of the terror that I felt, I stood alone in the yard, bombarded by the horrible images of the future Alice had seen. Desperately, I tried to think of an alternative to the looming deaths of my family, of my love, of my life. We should all leave. Now. Tonight. What did I care about the humans who lived here? They would all die eventually anyway. Charlie was the only one I thought Bella might really throw a fit over. I wondered if there were some way to kidnap him, bring him with us without revealing what we were.

The army would decimate the town. There was no doubt of that. In denying them the blood of the delicious human they sought, they would move from house to house, killing everyone they met. Drinking some, but merely slaughtering others. Newborns were wild and vicious and this army was worse than most because of their numbers, their lack of training, and because of the promise of Bella's blood. Why did she have to smell so _good?_

While I stood motionless in the dark, trying to figure out a way to escape from the certain death that was coming, I felt a wave of fury unlike anything I had felt in a long time. Tuning in on the source, I found Jasper, fighting to control himself and _not_ rip the arm off of the dog who stood in front of him. I thought Jacob was very lucky that he was surrounded by humans, or Jasper may not have bothered to control himself.

Why was the mutt there at all? Annoyed, I listened to their conversation, unwilling to join the party in my present frame of mind. I didn't want to harm anyone, but in my current state of panic, I couldn't promise self-control if confronted with the dog I hated.

Through Jasper's mind, I saw Jacob and two other wolves cornering Bella and Alice. It was their refusal to allow Alice to walk away that had caused Jasper's fury. Jacob was blocking the way with his arm and as I watched through Jasper's eyes, he slowly pulled that arm back to himself.

 _Smart move,_ I thought with an angry scowl.

Then Jacob grumbled, _"We have a right to know."_

Displeased at the mutt's tone, at the fact that they had come to our house at all, Jasper stepped forward. I was aware of the fire in the minds of the three wolves as their bodies reacted instinctively to the furious vampire.

I heard Bella's lovely voice echo in their minds as she tried to break the tension. _"Hey, hey. This is a party, remember?"_

Of course, none of them paid her any attantion, too intent on their rivalry.

 _Those mutts_ could _be useful,_ I heard Alice think. _The newborns aren't going to be anywhere near the reservation, but they have promised to protect the town…_

" _It's okay, Jasper," she said_. _"He actually has a point."_

The fury coming off of him eased only slightly.

" _What did you see, Alice?"_ Bella demanded.

" _The decision's been made."_

" _You're going to Seattle?"_ Bella asked with fear in her voice.

" _No."_

" _They're coming here."_

" _Yes."_

" _To Forks."_

" _Yes."_

" _For?"_

" _One of them carried your red shirt,"_ she admitted to Bella. I growled furiously. Bella _always_ blamed herself! Why did Alice have to tell her that? I wanted to stalk back into the party before any more damage could be done, but forced myself to be patient. I still wasn't even close to being in control of myself.

" _We can't let them come that far,"_ Jasper said, upset. _"There aren't enough of us to protect the town."_

" _I know,"_ Alice agreed Although not visions of the future, her imagination conjured up the same visions mine had, of the army killing every human they came across once they were denied Bella's blood. _"But it doesn't matter where we stop them. There still won't be enough of us, and some of them will come here to search."_

" _No!"_ Bella protested, surely picturingthe army finding her father. _"Alice,"_ Bella's fear-filled voice was barely a whisper. _"I have to go, I have to get away from here."_

" _That won't help. It's not like we're dealing with a tracker. They'll still come looking here first."_

To my terror, she offered, _"Then I have to go to meet them!"_ Just as she had with Renée, she was willing to sacrifice herself if it could save those she cared about. _"If they find what they're looking for, maybe they'll go away and not hurt anyone else!"_

" _Bella!"_ Alice gasped, and I saw in her mind my Bella doing exactly that. Escaping from Charlie's house, running through the woods to where I fought along-side my family, seeking an enemy intent on destroying her. I staggered backwards and gripped a tree, which snapped in my hands.

During their hushed conversation, the wolves' minds were evaluating the conversation, trying to understand what could possibly have our large family of vampires so upset.

" _Hold it,"_ Jacob interrupted. "What _is coming?"_

" _Our kind. Lots of them,"_ Alice hissed at him.

Astonished, he gasped, _"Why?"_

" _For Bella. That's all we know."_

" _There are too many for you?"_ He hated to admit it, but our family was strong. If there were enough vampires coming to make Alice afraid, then it had to be bad.

Jasper took offence at his tone, _"We have a few advantages, dog. It will be an even fight."_

I nearly leapt with joy at Jacob's next words. _"No. It won't be_ even."

" _Excellent!"_ Alice was instantly jubilant. _Yes! About time the dogs made themselves useful!_ She and Jacob grinned at each other. _"Everything just disappeared, of course. That's inconvenient, but all things considered, I'll take it."_

I could no longer see Esme's body broken in the woods, nor Emmett buried under a pile of newborn bodies, nor Rosalie being torn to pieces as she was pulled off of the pile. And I no longer saw myself surrounded by newborns, Bella being pulled from me, dying in their grip while I was torn apart, nor the other possibility of her running through the woods to meet them.

" _We'll have to coordinate." Gross, have to smell them even longer, but if we get to kill_ some _vampires, it'll be worth it. "It won't be easy for us. Still, this is our job more than yours."_

Alice laughed. Defending our family was _our_ job. _"I wouldn't go that far, but we need the help. We aren't going to be picky."_

" _Wait, wait, wait, wait,"_ Bella tried to stop the fight we all knew was coming. Alice looked at her, and I saw Bella's fear-filled face in her mind and knew that, as always, it was Alice and Jasper, Jacob, Quil, and Embry that she was scared for, not herself. _"Coordinate?"_ she pressed.

Cocky as always, Jacob smirked at Bella. _"You didn't honestly think you were going to keep us out of this?"_

" _You_ are _staying out of this!"_ Bella's tiger-kitten growl made me laugh.

" _Your psychic doesn't think so,"_ Jacob argued, smugly.

" _Alice – tell them no! They'll get killed!"_ The wolves all laughed at her, but I shook my head, furious. Of course she would be worried about the wolves getting killed.

" _Bella,"_ Alice turned to her, her thoughts still ringing with triumph. _"Separately we all could get killed. Together – "_

" _It'll be no problem,"_ Jacob concluded. I could see his memory of tearing Laurent apart. _Been dying to rip another vampire to pieces. Even if it's not the bloodsucker I hate… Where_ is _her leech, anyways… Maybe I can…_

Growling, I decided my temper was only going to get worse if I waited and began to make my way back into the party.

" _How many?"_ asked the youngest wolf, excited.

" _No!"_ Bella exclaimed.

" _It changes – twenty-one today, but the numbers are going down."_

" _Why?"_

" _Long story, and this isn't the place for it,"_ Alice said,

" _Later tonight?"_ Jacob insisted.

" _Yes. We were already planning a… strategic meeting. If you're going to fight with us, you'll need some instruction,"_ Jasper offered. I could tell the warrior in him was excited by the challenge. He had spent nearly a century instructing vampire armies in warfare. This interspecies alliance would stretch his abilities and offered him a challenge he hadn't had in a long time.

The wolves, on the other hand, were insulted at his offer. Fearless and confident in their success, they sneered at the thought that a vampire had anything to teach them, but if they were going to be useful, they could stand to learn from the vampire who had spent almost a century fighting newborn vampires.

Bella, of course, was worried, and I could see the fear on her face through the minds I was listening through. _"No!"_

They all ignored her and continued their planning. _"This will be odd. I never considered working together. This has to be a first."_

 _Need to let Sam know before I commit us any further…_ Jacob was itching to be off – and away from the scent of vampires. _"No doubt about that. We've got to get back to Sam. What time?"_

" _What's too late for you?"_

Although they needed to sleep, just like any living creature did, their endurance and recent patrols of the town meant they were used to keeping long hours. _"What time?"_ Jacob repeated, rolling his eyes.

" _Three o'clock?"_

" _Where?"_

" _About ten miles due north of the Hoh Forest ranger station. Come at it from the west and you'll be able to follow our scent in."_ Jasper gave them the location of our favorite clearing. A place we had used to play ball. I felt a tremor of foreboding. It was in that very field that James had decided to hunt my Bella last year. I shook it off, nearly back beside her, and able to hear her lovely voice for myself.

"Wait, Jake!" I hated the pain in her voice. She didn't want him to get hurt, no matter that she had threatened him with a baseball bat and suggested I damage him for daring to kiss her. _"Please!_ Don't do this!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Bells," he said smugly before he walked away. "You're giving me a much better gift that the one I gave you."

_Gift? Jacob Black gave her a gift?!_

I was stung by the injustice. From the beginning, she had resisted allowing me to give her anything, and now she'd been given something by the wolf I already hated? Seconds later, I was at her side and she threw herself into my arms. I could feel her trembling against me and knew that if we weren't surrounded by her classmates, she'd probably be crying. I rubbed her back and tilted her face up to mine.

"Don't worry," I smiled a crooked grin at her. "It'll be okay. This is _good!_ Listen, we need the help they can provide. With no other vampires willing to help us, our numbers might not have been enough. But with the pack on our side…" My grin widened. She may have been scared for them, but if she had seen what I had, she would know that this was the best way for everyone. No longer dreading the arrival of the army of bloodthirsty newborns, I looked forward to an end to this threat to my fragile human girl's life.

And if a few dogs got themselves killed in the process, well, I wouldn't mourn them.

"They'll get hurt," she whispered. "Edward, they're just _kids!"_

I snorted. "Bella, they're physically adults. And, this is exactly what they were made for. You'll see."


	25. Revelations

 

**Revelations**

"You're taking me with you tonight," Bella insisted as I drove her home.

"Bella, you're worn out," I protested. The party had gone on forever. Esme had cooked enough food to feed an army, and the mass of high school students had devoured nearly every bite. After the wolves left, my siblings had joined the party in earnest, the hard knot of worry in all of our minds was replaced by a profound relief.

Even one of the wolves was a terror that would have thrown the odds in our favor. _Six_ of the massive beasts, and there was no way we would lose. I did wish that Alice could see the wolves, though. I knew that the vision Alice had seen earlier no longer applied, but it would be nice to be able to _see_ our victory the way I had seen our defeat!

"You think I could sleep?" Bella's voice was disbelieving.

While I was glad for their offer to help us kill the newborns, I knew how volatile the pack was and would rather not expose Bella to the danger that they represented. There was no way of knowing if everyone would be able to keep their tempers – Emmett and the big grey one already had a grudge. Things could get out of control.

"This is an experiment. I'm not sure if it will be possible for us all to…" _avoid killing each other,_ "… cooperate. I don't want you in the middle of that."

"If you won't take me, then I'll call Jacob."

I scowled, knowing she meant it. Charlie's house was still lit, but I could hear his sleepy thoughts when I parked my car.

"See you upstairs," she said sourly. I watched until she was inside before driving my car around the block to the place I'd left it before – an unused driveway where Charlie would not see it. My car taken care of, I sprinted back to Bella's house and sprang up to her room. While she prodded Charlie into his bed and then performed her usual nightly bathroom ritual, I waited in the rocking chair in her room. I could feel the unhappy scowl still on my face, but was unable to get rid of it.

Bella carefully hung her new outfit from Alice in her closet. I didn't take my eyes off of her while she crossed the room to take my hand. "Come here," she said softly and pulled me with her to her bed. My scowl was replaced by a happy smirk when she pressed herself against me, practically laying on top of me. I held back my chuckle at her obvious attempts at preventing me from leaving without her. I tucked her quilt around her body, not wanting her to be chilled by my cold skin and considered what I knew of the wolves.

The first time I had seen Jacob in his wolf form, I had been forced to acknowledge that he was made to kill vampires just as surely as vampires were made to kill humans. I had met wolves seventy years earlier, but somehow it was different when confronted by one who hated me personally. With Jacob it was less a matter of species difference and more a matter of love - or hate. Although I was worried about their tempers and what might happen when my family and the pack got together that night, I was no longer worried about the coming battle with the army. At least, so long as this evening went well.

I could clearly remember Jacob showing me Laurent's death. I remembered the pack from before, how it was only Carlisle's calm manor and my ability to read their minds that had prevented us from killing each other then. We'd outnumbered them, but their confidence in themselves never wavered, nor did their belief in their duty to protect. It was a part of them, just as much as their hair color was.

Whatever newborns got in their way were not likely to survive. Seven of us, plus the six wolves against twenty untrained newborns… I grinned, eagerly looking forward to the fight.

Bella lay tense against me and I heard her heart stumbling, followed by the scent of a fresh flow of adrenaline.

"Please relax," I said in a gentle voice.

"Sure," she grumbled.

"This is going to work, Bella. I can feel it."

I felt her hold on me tighten, she stopped breathing and her body started to tremble. The flow of adrenaline increased. She was terrified, I could tell, and knew that it was for the mutts and for my family that she was afraid.

Using my calmest voice, doing my best to dazzle her, though I wasn't looking into her eyes, I said, "Listen to me, Bella. This is going to be _easy._ The newborns will be completely taken by surprise. They'll have no more idea that werewolves even exist than you did. I've seen how they act in a group, the way Jasper remembers. I truly believe that the wolves' hunting techniques will work flawlessly against them. And with them divided and confused, there won't be enough for the rest of us to do. Someone may have to sit out," I laughed softly.

"Piece of cake," she muttered, unconvinced.

"Shhh. You'll see. Don't worry, now." I brushed my fingers against her soft cheek and softly began to hum her lullaby. Her body never relaxed against me, her muscles remained locked and tense. I kept waiting for her to waver, for her body's demands to make themselves known, but she was still rigid when the time came for us to head over to the clearing.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay and sleep?" I tried once more to reason with her, but she just gave me a look of disgust, so I sighed in defeat. Glad for the excuse to hold her in my arms, I scooped her up and leapt from her window into the dark night.

She locked her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and I could feel her warm breath on my neck. I didn't bother to hold back my grin as I took off into the forest, running at top speed toward where my family waited. It was all I could do not to start laughing. I loved the feel of her soft body pressed against my back, of being surrounded by her warmth. I didn't have long to enjoy her embrace, though, reaching the clearing faster and smoother by running than the first time when we'd taken the Jeep.

I heard their thoughts long before we reached the clearing. My family was excited by the wolves' offer, and relieved that we would not have to fight the army alone. Well, except for Emmett, who believed we could have handled things on our own. He still held a grudge against the big grey wolf and would rather have had a rematch with him tonight than a demonstration of our fighting skills. What if we gave something away that he could have used to defeat the wolf?

Not that he really wanted to kill him, but my brother was always up for a good tussle.

"Emmett," I could hear Alice telling him sternly, "if you'd seen the how the fight would have gone without the wolves, you wouldn't be so quick to dismiss their help!"

"I'm not dismissing them," he evaded. "I just wish it wasn't necessary to show them our practice sessions." _...love to take on that big grey one someday…_

"Well, maybe they'll do more than watch. Think they'd be up for demonstrating some of their moves for us?" Jasper wondered.

I saw the image of Emmett and the big grey wolf circling each other and heard Emmett laugh in delight at the thought.

"You know what I think?" Bella asked me.

How often had I wondered what she was thinking? Giving in to my desire to laugh, I said, "No." She didn't appreciate my amusement, so I tried to be serious and pressed her. "What do you think?"

"I think it's _all_ connected. Not just the two, but the three."

I eyed her for a moment, trying to see where her convoluted brain had taken her, but then shook my head in defeat. "You've lost me," I admitted.

"Three bad things have happened since you came back." She held up a finger as she made each point. "The newborns in Seattle. The stranger in my room. And – first of all – Victoria came to look for me."

The reminder of Victoria ended my amusement instantly. "Why do you think so?" I asked her.

"Because I agree with Jasper – the Volturi love their rules. They would probably do a better job anyway. Remember when you were tracking Victoria last year?"

"Yes," I scowled. "I wasn't very good at it." She would not - _should not!_ \- have still been a threat if I had been better at tracking her. Instead of focusing on the vampire I was chasing, I'd been distracted by Bella's past and had lost my chance to catch her. But even though she had tricked me and come here to seek Bella's death, what did that have to do with the stranger? Victoria _wanted_ Bella dead. She'd have had no reason to leave Bella's father alive, nor to leave before the deed was done. The intruder could easily have murdered Charlie and then Bella, rather than leave their scent behind to warn us. And it _felt_ like a warning. Like the kind of warning Caius had given to me in Volterra. _Change her or else._

"Alice said you were in Texas. Did you follow her there?" she pressed me.

"Yes. Hmm…" I remembered my trip to Houston all too clearly. I'd met Maria's coven there. They were an army much like the one that threatened us now, only unlike the one coming for us, her coven had been well trained. Discreet. A true army, where the one coming for us was more like an unruly mob. And, although she had known of Alice's talent, Maria hadn't really known how it worked. How would Victoria be able to get around her visions so easily? Whoever it was had intimate knowledge of Alice's talent.

"See – she could have gotten the idea there," Bella explained. "But she doesn't know what she's doing, so the newborns are all out of control."

"Only Aro knows exactly how Alice's visions work," I disagreed.

"Aro would know _best_ ," she argued back, "but wouldn't Tanya and Irina and the rest of your friends in Denali know _enough?_ Laurent lived with them for so long. And if he was still friendly enough with Victoria to be doing favors for her, why wouldn't he also tell her everything he knew?"

I didn't like the points she was making. I'd known Laurent had been in Seattle… and at about the same time that Victoria had been there, apparently. And Irina had been there, too… but that didn't necessarily mean he hadn't met up with Victoria. I didn't want to think that Irina could be directly involved. Tanya had insisted that they hadn't told Laurent of us, and I truly believed that she hadn't. But maybe Irina _had._ It had been Irina he'd been involved with, after all, not Tanya.

That didn't change the fact that the intruder was a strange vampire who had left Charlie and Bella alive. I still didn't see why anyone other than the Volturi would do that.

"It wasn't Victoria in your room," I insisted. I was all too familiar with her scent, and if I was certain of anything about the intruder, it was that it hadn't been her.

"She can't make new friends? Think about it, Edward. If it _is_ Victoria doing this in Seattle, she's _made_ a lot of new friends. She's created them."

I could see what she described all too well. When tracking Victoria through Phoenix, I'd found evidence that she'd created at least one vampire, perhaps two or even three others. The predator in Seattle had said she was looking for others to help her fight. Whatever else she'd been up to, she had certainly been looking for help to kill my family and my Bella.

What kept throwing me was the intruder. _Why_ wouldn't he have killed Charlie and stayed to kill Bella if the intruder and Victoria were linked? Then again, just because I knew she wanted Bella dead, that did not mean she didn't want the same thing for the rest of my family, too. We had all been involved in James's death. It could have been that she wasn't quite ready to take us on at the point when she sent the intruder, still needing to build her army. And then too, his visit had surely told her much about the way Alice's visions worked - or failed to work. If she had only been given some basic information about Alice, she might have needed to test her theories before committing herself to the larger plan. And she could have gotten that information from either Laurent or Maria.

With a sinking feeling, I thought Bella could be right. I could picture her ferocious feral face all too easily, staying out of the fight, letting the newborns kill us for her. She'd have her revenge and at no risk to herself. But if it was Victoria and not the Volturi, why had _they_ not interceded by now? Her army – if indeed they were hers – was blatantly breaking all of the laws regarding our secrecy. Surely the Volturi were not blind to what was going on here. Alice had said Caius had been dwelling on Seattle. They _had_ to be involved or else they would have stopped her by now.

"Hmm. It's possible," I eventually admitted. "I still think the Volturi are most likely… But your theory – there's something there. Victoria's personality. Your theory suits her personality perfectly. She's shown a remarkable gift for self-preservation from the start – maybe it's a talent of hers. In any case, this plot would put her in no danger at all from us, if she sits safely behind and lets the newborns wreak their havoc here. And maybe little danger from the Volturi, either…" I trailed off, thinking, listening to my family.

They could hear our conversation, of course, and were reacting to Bella's revelation. I saw Carlisle picturing the various members of the Volturi that he had known in his time in Italy. I watched him flash through countless hours of arguing the minute details of the laws with Caius.

… _don't want to believe it's them… or is my perception of them skewed? The laws keep them in control… those who create the laws could_ re- _create them as well… Caius is unscrupulous in using anyone to achieve what he believes will serve the greater good… Aro wants Edward and Alice… might even turn a blind eye…_

Jasper was remembering his years as part of Maria's coven, of endlessly training newborns, all of the things he had learned about them, the way they fought, their weaknesses. Though he had wrestled with me and Emmett, it had been decades since he'd fought for his life, and this time, he had a mate to protect.

Rosalie's thoughts were screaming at me, but her glare was fixed on Bella. I growled at her, but she ignored me, too busy concentrating on being nasty to even hear me.

… _always that_ human _girl who threatens my family! …bad enough she nearly gets my brother killed, now there's an army after her, so_ of course _he has to get the whole family involved in protecting her. Emmett is such a child sometimes! …thinks this is all a joke, some big game! …get himself killed… I will never forgive you, Edward, if anything happens to Emmett!_

I could have laughed at my big bear of a brother if I wasn't so annoyed at his mate. He'd loved competing as a human, but wresting with us wasn't quite the same. He felt protective toward his family and stopped short of using the force necessary to beat Jasper. Those newborns would never know what hit them when Emmett finally let loose.

… _finally see some action! …tired of wrestling. I want to really rip into something for a change. Can't use all of my strength on Jazz in order to defeat him… bears are no match for me… finally a_ real _opponent!_

The Volturi were on all of their minds, too. After I had brought Alice to Aro's attention, we had all been waiting for them to make a move against us. This army was a perfect way for them to disrupt our family unit. They could let them tear us apart, then step in at the last moment, saving me, or perhaps just Alice, and the vampire community at large would never know the difference.

Or, if I was wrong and they truly had the best interests of the vampire community in their minds, it could be that they had not acted yet for another reason. Just because they knew _of_ the army, didn't mean they'd know for certain who had created them. If they came to destroy the army, they wouldn't necessarily catch the one behind it. Even moreso if that one was Victoria, catching her would be tricky with her gift for avoiding danger. Maybe they were waiting until the creator exposed themselves. However, she could set them loose on us without ever doing so, and if we killed them all, there would be no one left _to_ connect her with them.

"Perhaps she's counting on us to win, in the end, though certainly not without heavy casualties of our own. But no survivors from her little army to bear witness against her. In fact, if there were survivors, I'd bet she'd be planning to destroy them herself…" She could have learned _that_ trick from Maria, too. Jasper himself had helped Maria thin the ranks when her soldiers got too old and were no longer of any use to her.

"Hmm. Still, she'd have to have at least one friend who was a bit more mature. No fresh-made newborn left your father alive…" It had been over a year since we'd killed James, though. Plenty of time for her to make a friend and have that friend overcome his newborn ferocity. If it was her, and the intruder was someone she'd created, she probably had him feed just before his visit. She might even have been waiting in the car.

I felt a chill. If Bella _had_ been at home, not just Charlie, I had little doubt that Victoria _would_ have killed her. If the newborn had reported back to her that Bella was there and unprotected, she could have gotten to Bella and killed her before we could have done anything about it!

Feeling extremely grateful for my obsessive inability to leave her unsupervised, I looked back at her and smiled. "Definitely possible. Regardless, we've got to be prepared for anything until we know for sure. You're very perceptive today. It's impressive," I complimented her.

She sighed and shivered. "Maybe I'm just reacting to this place. It makes me feel like she's close by… like she sees me now."

I hated seeing her scared! She was safe and protected and would stay that way for the rest of eternity. "She'll never touch you, Bella," I vowed to her.

Unable to stop the sense of foreboding that the thought of Victoria _here_ brought on, I probed the shadows with my eyes and my mind. There was no one other than my family for miles around, yet I could see her face so clearly. Feral, feline, cunning, her eyes watching everything, her mind calculating the best way for her to survive, she was - without a doubt - dangerous. My muscles ached to rip her to pieces! For a moment, I pictured myself sprinting to Seattle that very moment and tracking her down. I felt myself snarling in anticipation. Killing was wrong. I knew this. If Carlisle was right, killing a vampire was no different than killing a human, but those moral rules no longer applied when my Bella's life was threatened.

"Yet, what I wouldn't give to have her that close. Victoria and anyone else who's ever thought of hurting you. To have the chance to end this myself. To finish it with my own hands this time." The hand not clasped in hers clenched into a tight fist. The last time, I had allowed Jasper and Emmett to tear James apart. Not this time. No, this time, _I'd_ have the pleasure of ripping her to shreds. Bella was _mine!_ How dare anyone threaten her!

"Is something wrong with Alice?" Bella whispered to me.

I laughed, partly at the fact that she bothered to whisper, partly at Alice, because I knew what was bothering her. "The werewolves are on their way, so she can't see anything that will happen now. It makes her uncomfortable to be blind."

Alice had been watching Jasper warming up – though our muscles didn't need it, he had found long ago that it helped keep him centered and focused before a battle – but at my teasing tone, she looked at me and stuck her tongue out.

_And how would you feel if you were suddenly deaf? If all minds around you were like Bella's?_

I couldn't help but laugh at her. There had been many times when I used to wish for exactly that. However, now that I'd experienced what it was like to _not_ be able to hear – how frustrating it was to have to guess at everything Bella was thinking! How did normal people manage? – I knew that I'd miss my gift if it were suddenly taken from me.

"Hey, Edward," Emmett called to me as he sauntered up to us. "Hey, Bella," he grinned at her and pictured her punching the vampire army the way she'd punched Jacob. "Is he going to let you practice, too?" _I bet she's feisty enough to take them all on single-handed!_

I groaned at him. That was the _last_ thing I needed Bella to be thinking about! "Please, Emmett, don't give her any ideas."

"When will our guests arrive?" Carlisle asked me.

I cast my mind out once more and caught the thoughts of several wolves. They were a jumble of senses; I could see through multiple eyes, hear with their ears, smell the scents of the forest… It was very interesting, smelling through their filter. My nose burned as they followed a strong icy-sweet trail toward my family and I realized I was smelling _us_ the way they perceived us. _Huh._ I recognized the area and could tell how fast they were moving. And I saw, not just the forest, but them, as they saw each other.

"A minute and a half," I said with a sigh. "But I'm going to have to translate. They don't trust us enough to use their human forms."

"This is hard for them," Carlisle said, thinking of the last time our family and a pack had come together in such a way. "I'm grateful they're coming at all."

Bella turned her wide eyes on me, "They're coming as wolves?" I smelled a new flood of adrenaline in her system again and heard her heart speed up. I nodded, watching the fear on her face. From the beginning, she had never been afraid of me. Even when I had been so close to killing her that day in our meadow, she had trusted me. Jacob may be her friend, and she may have insisted to me many times that they were not dangerous, but I thought that was probably because she had spent her time with them in their human forms. I was _always_ a vampire. I knew she'd seen Jacob in his huge wolf form at least once, but I doubted it was much more than that. I wondered how she would react to seeing the entire pack of enormous monsters.

Or, perhaps her fear was because the wolves and the vampires would be so close to each other. I knew that is was always the safety of others whom she was concerned about.

I wondered, too, how the newborns would react when confronted with the wolves. Even one could have turned the odds in our favor. The entire _pack_ on our side, and we were sure to win. I touched each of their minds, learning who they were. Sam, the Alpha, the biggest and jet black. Jacob, the next largest, a rusty brown. Paul, the big grey one Emmett had come up against. Quil, not as tall, but long and lanky, and a light brown. Embry, shorter than Quil, but broader, and grey with dark spots along his back. Jared, a mix of brown and grey that made him blend into the trees and rocks. Seth, small, and dusty brown… _Seth?_ And… Collin… Brady… and Leah. _Leah?!_ Not six, but _ten_ wolves, though several of them seemed so young. And Leah? A female?

"Prepare yourselves," I warned my family, not quite succeeding in hiding my delight. "They've been holding out on us." I realized what Jacob had been hiding from me that day in Bella's kitchen. Sam had given him orders not to let us know the extent of their pack.

"What do you mean?" Alice demanded. _I_ hate _not being able to see!_

"Shh," I cautioned her. It was never good to show fear to a wolf. As they crept up to us, I could see Sam at the front, Jacob and Paul at his shoulders with the others spread out on either side of them. My family moved to mimic their lines. Naturally assuming the position of protectors, Jasper and Emmett placed themselves opposite the three lead wolves.

" _Damn,"_ Emmett muttered, impressed. "Did you ever see anything like it?" _I saw that big grey and a couple of the others when chasing Victoria, but that black one is_ huge!

… _ten! …so many lives affected by our family's presence here…_

… _ten! This is exactly what we need! Tanya's refusal won't matter now. That army doesn't stand a chance…_

… _ten! …can they have kept this a secret? …Bella didn't know?_

… _ten! …save our lives… my children safe_

… _ten! There were three last time! We could have taken them down then, but now… Edward better be right about this… trust his human to get us all killed by her pet dogs before the army even gets the chance…_

My family's thoughts were a jumble of shock, fear, anger, and elation. Jasper, especially, was elated. I could see him envision the coming army being confronted with _our_ army, the seven of us, plus _ten_ enormous werewolves – werewolves whose sole purpose seemed to be ending the lives of vampires. The scent of death rolled off of them and I saw Esme shudder delicately, while she eyed Rosalie. Even from here, I could hear Rose's low growl. If we weren't being watched by the pack, I would have started screaming at her. How _dare_ she blame Bella for this? The army wasn't her fault! But her friendship with Jacob and the pack may have just saved all of our lives, Rose and Emmett's included.

Of course, that was assuming we could get through this meeting without attacking each other.


	26. Training

**Training**

I could feel my muscles tighten and tasted my venom. I knew that each member of my family was reacting the same way. We were natural enemies and our bodies were reacting instinctively to the threat that the wolves represented. I reminded myself that their relationship with us was not that different than ours was with humans. We were made to kill humans – but we chose not to. Indeed, I was in love with a human, a human whom I would have killed long ago if I had been a traditional vampire. The wolves were made to kill us – but they chose not to. Unlike seventy years earlier, we no longer outnumbered them. If they had decided to attack us at that moment, we would have suffered a fate no different than the one that the vampire army was threatening us with. Worse, because Alice couldn't see _them_.

I leaned forward, hating that my family was standing in front of the pack with me behind them. I felt like I was hiding, letting them take all of the risks. I knew that it was Bella they were protecting and since I refused to let go of her, I would remain by her side where I belonged, but I felt that we would present a stronger showing if I was standing with them; beside them, not behind.

Tuning out the thoughts of my family, I focused on those of the pack. It was strange: I could hear each wolf's mental words, but also the echoes of those words in the minds of the rest of the pack as they flowed between them. It made for a rather annoying sensation of being caught in a feedback loop.

… _can't believe we're expected to_ _learn from the bloodsuckers… this is ridiculous…_

… _join in on the fun! …show them what_ we _can do…_

… _here to watch, nothing more!_

… _as if they could teach us anything…_

… _stand there with him like that; it's disgusting…_

_…never get this smell outta my fur…_

… _c'mon, Sam! Can't we practice, too?_

… _No. We're here to watch and learn, nothing more. Do_ not _engage…_

… _took that black haired leech down easily. What's the big deal? So there's a few more…_

… _yeah, won't stand a chance against us…_

… _tell the Cullens to just stay home. We_ got _this…_

… _so eager to lose a brother? More is better…_

… _care if he loses a brother, but a sister? Oh, no big deal…_

… _quiet Leah!_

… _yeah, yeah…_

"Fascinating," I whispered. Listening to their minds was riveting, despite the annoying echo. I had long ago ceased to be entertained by the average human mind, but this was different. It wasn't just their thoughts that were connected; their minds were completely open to each other. I could see through their eyes all at once, even when focused on any one mind. The same with their ears; when I picked up Bella's heartbeat from each pair of ears, it echoed and danced in my head.

I felt a stinging in my nose and realized I was smelling myself through the filter of their perception and stopped breathing. Aside from their death smell that revolted me, I could smell us through their senses and the sweetness that I usually found so pleasant burned, instead. My nose continued to sting and tickle until one of the wolves sneezed. I wrinkled and wriggled my nose and resisted the urge to rub it.

Their eyes instantly locked on my father when Carlisle carefully took a step out of the line my family had formed.

"Welcome," he said, sounding far calmer than any of the rest of us felt.

I heard Sam's voice rumble in my head and allowed the words to flow through me, "Thank you." His eyes darted to me. _…the mind reader … speaking my thoughts?_ I nodded to him and allowed his words to flow through me again. "We will watch and listen, but no more. That is the most we can ask of our self-control."

"That is more than enough," Carlisle assured him. "My son, Jasper, has experience with newborns." He gestured to my brother, and ten pairs of wolf eyes locked on him. I saw his muscles lock into place and knew he was fighting off the instinctive urge to throw himself into battle. "He will teach us how they fight, how they are to be defeated. I'm sure you can apply this to your own hunting style."

Derisive sounds flowed through the minds of the wolves. _…easy…_ Sam cautioned them. I saw his eyes flicker to me again. "They are different from you?" I allowed myself to say for him.

Carlisle nodded. "They are all very new – only months old to this life. Children, in a way." I was aware of his remorse in being forced to destroy children of any kind. Children should be cherished and protected, not ripped apart and burned. However, he knew that these children were killers who were created with the intention of destroying _his_ children, and that was unacceptable.

"They will have no skill or strategy, only brute strength. Tonight their numbers stand at twenty. Ten for us, ten for you – it shouldn't be difficult. The numbers may go down. The new ones fight amongst themselves."

The wolves growled to each other.

… _ten! That only leaves one a piece!_

… _getting involved to kill one measly vampire… rip them all to shreds by myself!_

… _too young!_ You _will_ _not be involved when the fight comes…_

… _need a babysitter…_

… _do if you think you can handle an army on your own…_

… _easily! He said they were children, with no skill, right?_

… _think children can't cause trouble… watch Quil with Claire for an afternoon…_

… _hey!_

Aside from all the banter, I caught the memories flowing through their minds. Images of them fighting with each other in much the same way Emmett, Jasper, and I would wrestle. There was no denying that the pack was a terror that the newborns would not survive. Sam, as their leader - their Alpha - would train the young wolves before letting them fight with the pack. When not patrolling or attending to their human duties, they trained constantly, fighting and wrestling daily.

However, all of them found it difficult to wrestle with Leah, though they each wanted to - badly - just to take her attitude down a notch. Well, all except for Sam. I caught a flare of pain in Sam's mind whenever Leah's voice sounded. From her memory of their training sessions, I witnessed his hesitancy to fight with her, as well as her fury that he wouldn't. She didn't want to be protected or coddled. There was a fierce desire in her to prove herself as capable as any of the men. She had taken to deliberately provoking him whenever she could, trying to get him to spar with her, while at the same time, wishing that his human form would hold her, kiss her… I skipped out of her mind, but that didn't help any. The whole pack was forced to listen to her memories of them together, to watch, and to feel her betrayal.

Drowning her voice out, Sam firmly thought of their training exercises, of how to attack to the best affect, of how to flank an enemy, of how to defend, forcing the mind of the pack to return to the reason they were here. They each began to picture themselves fighting us. I bit back my growl, knowing they were only using us as a visual aid, and were not actually intending to attack us. Still, it was disconcerting to see them imagine our deaths so vividly. My muscles trembled with my instinctive desire to defend my family.

Sam directed his thoughts back toward Carlisle and I spoke for him again. "We are willing to take more than our share, if necessary."

Carlisle's lips formed a thin smile. "We'll see how it plays out."… _want to prove themselves, don't they? The young are always so eager for battle…_

"Do you know when and how they'll arrive?" I asked for Sam. He was thinking of the reservation, concerned for the citizens there and planning on what wolves he should leave behind to protect them, while still putting enough wolves together to help us defeat the army that was aiming for us, for Forks, for Bella.

"They'll come across the mountains in four days, in the late morning. As they approach, Alice will help us intercept their path."

I heard the relief in their voices as they commented to each other. The army would not be anywhere near their families. They could confront the newborns without endangering their loved ones by leaving their lands unprotected. "Thank you for the information. We will watch," I said for Sam.

… _as well relax. They mean us no harm and will be here a while…_

He carefully lowered himself to the forest floor and the rest of the pack followed suit. I could tell, though, that their tension did not ease and that they could spring from their crouches into a defensive – or offensive – stance at a moment's notice. Their eyes never wavered from us, and it took a moment for Jasper to master his body's instincts, but eventually, he stepped closer to them. I was aware of him sampling their emotions. There was no doubt that there was an undercurrent of antagonism flowing through them. Some - but not all - of which was directed at us. The rest was internal. The pack was not as unified a front as they liked to present.

Jasper glanced at me. _I don't think that they are going to attack us, but I definitely feel the hostility… Can we trust them not spring when we are distracted?_ He could sense the pack's division, but not being able to read their minds, could not see whom the threat was directed against.

I nodded to him. They had no immediate intentions to do anything other than observe us.

Deliberately, Jasper turned around to face us, though I could tell the enormous effort that it took him to expose his back to an enemy. His tension was radiating out from him and I could tell it was affecting my family as well. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing a calm that he didn't really feel. His talent began to work, and the calming effect it had on us reflected back to help him as well.

"Carlisle's right," he began. "They'll fight like children. The two most important things you'll need to remember are, first, don't let them get their arms around you, and, second, don't go for the obvious kill. That's all they'll be prepared for. As long as you come at them from the side and keep moving, they'll be too confused to respond effectively. Emmett?" He waved my brother over.

 _Yeah! Jazz better look out. Not holding back this time._ Emmett grinned, and I nearly laughed at his enthusiasm.

I thought of my encounters with the vampires I'd killed while looking for Victoria. I'd been so lucky with the newborn I'd encountered. If I could have had Jasper's training then, I might not have come so close to losing my arm. He'd had a grip on me and had nearly twisted it off. Though I'd picked up tricks just from wrestling with him over the years, there was a difference between that play and a concentrated course on fighting an enemy intent upon my death.

My brothers spread out to give themselves more maneuvering room. Jasper gestured toward our large brother. "Okay, Emmett first. He's the best example of a newborn attack."

… _fight like a child, huh? …_ He glared at Jasper and said in a low growl, "I'll try not to break anything." _…like your neck…_

"What I meant is that Emmett relies on his strength. He's very straightforward about the attack. The newborns won't be trying anything subtle, either. Just go for the easy kill, Emmett." Feeling the playful edge in the hostility coming off of him, Jasper fought to keep a straight face. I could hear the laughter rippling through his mind as he took a few steps back and crouched.

"Okay, Emmett," he invited, "try to catch me." Although Emmett had been picking his mind for tips at every chance, Jasper had nearly a century's worth of experience fighting for his life, while Emmett always knew that Jasper wouldn't really hurt him. My newest brother had already turned into a blurry streak before the thought to charge had passed through Emmett's mind. Like the bear that he resembled, Emmett lumbered after Jasper, but his hands closed on empty air. A bear he may have been, but he was still a _vampire_ and could move with the speed of our species, if not with Jasper's cunning.

Watching Jasper and Emmett _really_ go at it, I knew that my newest brother had been holding back all these years. If he'd really been fighting, Emmett would never have beaten him the few times he had – and perhaps nor would I. There was a reason he'd lived through countless battles in Maria's army.

Emmett heard Jasper's steps on the ground and whirled to pursue him again. I watched through Jasper's mind, hearing him analyze Emmett's movements, calculating his direction and speed. In the split second it took Emmett to reach the place where Jasper had stood, he was gone again, sprinting to the side. I caught Emmett's low growl and the answering chuckle from Jasper as he missed his quarry again and again. Every time Jasper would move, avoiding Emmett's crushing grip, Emmett heard his new location in the crunch of leaves and the movement of the wind and would attempt to catch him. And, each time he moved, Jasper moved quicker, always gone an instant before Emmett could touch him.

Jasper allowed Emmett to chase him for several minutes before launching himself at Emmett's unprotected back. Jasper wrapped his arms around Emmett's chest, pinning the larger vampire's arms, and bared his teeth as he leaned in for the bite. I sucked in a quick breath. Jasper had gotten so caught up in the moment, I thought he was going to rip through Emmett's throat, but he stopped just short.

"Damn!" Emmett griped. Jasper let him go and stood to the side with a pleased smirk.

… _thought that big one would have had him for sure!_

… _see the speed that blond one moved?_

… _anything like it before…_

… _wonder they have_ him _coaching them, moves like that!_

… _go down and join…_

… _still think you can take him by yourself?_

I heard the surprised thoughts flow through the pack. Despite themselves, they were impressed and growled to each other.

As with nearly every time Emmett lost to Jasper, he growled, "Again!"

"It's my turn," I argued. I couldn't let my brothers have _all_ the fun!

Jasper threw me a grin and assured me, "In a minute. I want to show Bella something, first."

We all felt the love flow off of him as he lifted a finger and motioned his mate forward. Alice skipped to his side, her eyes wide and delighted. "I know you worry about her," he said to Bella. "I want to show you why that's not necessary."

This time, Jasper went on the offensive and crouched like one of the jungle cats he so enjoyed hunting. His eyes never left his mate while his mind took on a predatory tone, analyzing her physical strengths and weaknesses. He studied her relaxed posture and attempted to disguise his attack by running several scenarios through his mind. I watched her counter each one he came up with before either of them moved an inch. He tried to trick her, moving slightly forward, then to one side. With a knowing smile, Alice closed her eyes and waited for the attack.

I heard the change in Bella's heart as Jasper began to stalk his tiny wife. If I hadn't known them to be a loving couple and Alice well able to take care of herself, I might have been concerned, too. It went against the grain to see a male planning any kind of attack on a female - especially a female member of _my_ family. Gritting my teeth, I held myself still and waited with everyone else for Jasper to attack his mate. Despite my trepidation, it was interesting watching Jasper attack before he actually did it.

Although he moved like lightening, he was no match for Alice. She moved an instant before he did, whirling around him like a matador taunting a bull. Not pausing his attack, Jasper turned and flung himself at Alice once again. Like the first time, Alice saw the action before it happened and had already moved before he could touch her. Not bothering to open her eyes, Alice was intent on watching her visions of the future, a smug smile on her face.

Jasper increased his speed, trying to outrun the future, but to no avail. No matter how fast he moved, Alice saw him coming before he could reach her and moved out of his way. Alice moved with such grace that it would have been almost beautiful if it hadn't been so deadly. She almost seemed to be leading him, rather than reacting to the moves he planned. He stalked her relentlessly, but she was always quicker. After allowing him to get close, teasing him, but never letting him touch her, Alice laughed in delight and launched herself at _him_. He would have been defenseless had she truly intended to attack. His head would have been rolling before he even registered that she was upon him.

"Gotcha," she gloated, and kissed his throat. I had to shake my head in admiration. She was likely the only creature ever to have actually defeated him. Though Em and I had managed to pin him while wrestling, I had always suspected that he allowed it, and then only because he didn't want to damage us. Alice, he had been intent on catching – and failed.

Jasper laughed, shaking his head as well. "You truly are one frightening little monster."

Every one of the wolves agreed with him. Though they'd been impressed with Jasper before, watching him and Alice together had given them a new understanding of our speed and capabilities. This, coupled with the fact that we still felt the need to ask for their help in defeating the army made them more wary of what was coming. I thought this was a very good thing. They were far too cocky, and I knew how Bella would blame herself if any of them got hurt.

"It's good for them to learn some respect," I muttered. Overconfidence was a weakness. "My turn," I insisted. I grinned at Bella's look of concern and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go of her. Alice and I exchanged places so that Bella would be protected while I slowly stalked toward Jasper. For a moment I was tempted to focus on Alice's mind, to use her visions of Jasper's attack as she had done, but I felt that would have been cheating. It was _my_ skills I was testing against his, not hers. Deliberately, I tuned out everyone else, and concentrated on the ferocious vampire in front of me.

My thoughts were focused on his, but his were intent on misleading me. He pictured himself moving one way, when his body moved the other. Several times, as I crept closer to him, he made false starts, but I sensed the lie in his thoughts and didn't alter my course. I waited for the determination his mind would take when he finally decided to make his move. He was smirking at me and pictured himself catching me, his teeth at my throat.

_Come on, Edward. Bella is watching and you want to look good for her, right? Catch me… if you can._

I felt my lips curl into a self-satisfied grin. Since he was going to use my talent against me, I decided to use his against him. I mustered all of the rage I felt for Victoria, for the army that was coming for Bella, and for anyone else who dared to harm her and hurled the vicious emotions in his direction. He recoiled from the force of my fury and in that moment of his distraction, I launched myself at him.

He saw me coming, of course, and evaded me easily. Instantly, he turned to attack me, but I saw his plan and moved to evade him. We went back and forth several times, ducking away from the other's reach, weaving to the side, lunging to grab, but coming up with empty air. We were moving faster as we fought, making good use of the space in the clearing as we darted around each other, seeking but never achieving an upper hand. Neither of us could quite manage to touch the other.

_Oh, better! But watch this…_

He tried not to think of a specific attack and just let his body do what it remembered doing, so as not to tip me off. There was no way for him to completely hide his plans from me, though, and each time he grabbed for me, I sprang out of his reach. He nearly caught me once, ripping my shirt, but not touching my arm. I heard a growl erupt from me and his answering rumble of disappointment.

I'd thought Jasper was skilled before, but I'd been underestimating him. If I wasn't the fastest member of my family, even with the addition of my ability to read his mind, he'd have caught me many times. But I _was_ faster! I tried to use my speed to my advantage, and ran at him as fast as my legs could take me. Well aware of my speed, he anticipated exactly that kind of an attack. As quickly as I moved, my change in tactics was obvious to him and he avoided me easily. He slipped to the side as I neared him and threw out his leg, attempting to trip me. Just in time, I saw his plan and leapt over him.

Dirt and leaves flew around me as I skidded to a stop and changed the direction of my sprint. I ducked low, trying to grab his legs, but he jumped over me. We whirled at the same time, and he went on the offensive, planning to grab me from my unprotected side. Reading his intentions, I acted to counter his movement, hoping to use his attack on me to catch him.

His arms were a blur as he blocked each one of my maneuvers. No matter how I tried to grab him, he had a defense ready and we made contact at last as my arms came up against his or he batted mine away. But although I could not seem to get the upper hand on him, neither could he get his hands on me. He used moves I was unfamiliar with, but I could see them in his mind before he used them and avoided each one.

His talent was focusing and I could feel the emotions coming off of him as we sparred. Growling and snarling at each other, we fought as though we were mortal enemies, no longer wrestling for fun, or even practice. My fury was building, but I recognized this as an effect of his gift. He was making me angry on purpose, hoping my temper would cause me to make a mistake. If I allowed my emotions to rule me, instead of using cool calculated moves, I would be an easier target. It was getting harder to resist giving in to the fury building within me. I _wanted_ to rip him to pieces!

"Ahem," Carlisle's quiet voice cut through my concentration, and I paused my attack.

I felt Jasper's shock briefly before he, too, recognized the difference our fight had taken on. We'd gotten far too caught up in the moment. It was a good thing neither of us had been able to catch the other, or we might have lost a few limbs. Jasper backed up a step and laughed at my expression of chagrin. I straightened from my crouch and grinned at him, pleased at not having been defeated, even if I hadn't pinned him.

"Back to work. We'll call it a draw," he allowed.

Feeling cocky, I laughed as I walked back to Bella. Her expression was one of relief. I could only imagine what we had looked like to her and wondered if she'd seen much of the fight at all. Jasper and I had been moving _fast._ Considering the way it ended, I thought it was probably better if she hadn't caught much. She was unnecessarily concerned enough as it was. I wrapped her in my arms, encouraging her to lean into me as she got tired. I couldn't stop the pleased smirk that formed every time I saw us in Jacob's thoughts.

Jasper fought Carlisle next. This time, I was more interested in watching the wolves' reactions to the fight rather than the fight itself. Their eyes were sharp and caught every movement. I was sure that to a human my father and brother would have been barely visible, but their enhanced eyesight was able to see and analyze every action. It was no surprise to me that they had caught Laurent.

What _was_ surprising was that they had never managed to catch Victoria. Experiencing their senses made my anxiety over the ferocious red-head's intention to kill my love increase. Killing this army – especially with the wolves' help – would be easy, but would only solve one problem, and the smaller one at that. If we managed to kill every member of the army, there was nothing to stop Victoria – if indeed it was her - from beginning again in a new city with another army. I had little doubt that she would have learned a lot from this first attempt.

I concentrated on the wolves' minds – or the pack _mind_. It was so strange. They had their own separate personalities, but thought as a whole unit. Each wolf was an appendage, only a part of the whole, and yet separate and distinct. As I became more familiar with each of their minds, it became less of a jumble of thoughts and I was able to recognize each 'voice' when it spoke.

While I listened, I began to see Leah as a cancerous growth within the pack. Though sharp, her voice was not vicious in itself, but the subject matter of her thoughts was purposefully hurtful. I was well aware that it was not always easy for a person to control their thoughts, but the memories she reviewed were deliberate. I caught flashes of her life as she grew up on the reservation, seeing the men around her as awkward young boys, witnessed every one of the pack members in one embarrassing situation or another. Their community was small, and not much was hidden - aside from the one glaring werewolf secret, of course.

Leah insisted on thinking of things the others would rather not be forced to remember. I found myself pitying the group, and even respecting them. Although Rosalie was often difficult to deal with – and could be spiteful – there was always a current of love between her and each member of my family that did not exist with Leah and the pack. Rose and I had been siblings for most of the past century, and we both knew that her misery was not my doing. Though in the beginning she had hated that I witnessed it, she appreciated the fact that I had tried to help her through it. Leah's misery was of her own making, but she blamed Sam, and constantly tried to make everyone else as miserable as she was.

When Jasper and Carlisle were done sparring – he had pinned my gentle father several times – he motioned Rosalie over. She was livid at having an audience to her defeat and made more mistakes out of anger than lack of skill. Having a teacher who could feel and adjust her emotions was helpful and he called her attention to her lack of emotional control. They sparred longer than the others as he taught her both how to fight and how to control herself. I caught a stray thought from Emmett and nearly laughed aloud at his desire for this emotional education to carry over into her everyday life.

It was all I could do to allow Jasper to attack Esme. I knew that he would never hurt her, but aside from my instinctive desire to protect the woman I regarded as my mother, I had to deal with her memories which I'd seen over the past ninety years. Her first life had been one filled with pain and humiliation, and her husband – the cause of her suffering – had been granted the privilege of becoming my first human victim. Of all the human monsters who had been dealt a quick death at my teeth, his was the only death I had ever wished I had drawn out for what he'd dared to do to her. He was also the only one whom - if I were granted the chance - I would still want to kill this very day. She didn't often think of him anymore, but my memories of what I'd seen in her mind were sharp and were brought to the surface by the fight I was watching.

My memories were also not the only ones I had to contend with. If the fight between Jasper and Esme was difficult for me to watch, it was even harder for Carlisle. Not knowing what Esme's husband had looked like, I watched my father imagine a faceless human in Jasper's place and felt his mind fill with a fiery fury. He was paying close attention to Jasper, memorizing each move that he made, seeing where Esme's weaknesses were, determined to place himself between her and any danger.

… _never let them touch her … have to work as a team… stronger together…_

I tried to imagine myself watching Jasper teaching my newborn Bella like he was teaching my mother and had to fight down the fierce urge to sprint into the clearing and throw myself between them. He wasn't sparring with Esme though, as much as demonstrating his moves for her. He slowed his attacks to nearly human speed, correcting her hold and the direction of her attacks.

She may not have been the strongest member of my family, but Esme didn't think of herself as weak. Her life now was a joy to her. Surrounded by her family – a husband who loved her unconditionally, three sons, two daughters, and the girl in my arms who would soon join us – she felt empowered, _fierce_ , a mother bear protecting her young. She threw herself enthusiastically into Jasper's training, determined to take the entire army on herself if she needed to in order to protect her family.

I heard Bella stifle a yawn and leaned close to whisper in her ear, "We're about finished." We'd each had a turn now and would be back tomorrow to build on what we'd learned today.

Just finishing with the moves he was showing Esme as I spoke to Bella, Jasper agreed that we'd had enough for the day and faced the wolves again. He'd tuned them out during our session for the most part and was forced to deal with his body's instinctive reaction once more, stronger now after his hours of actively fighting with us. I could see his need to throw himself at them. Not giving in to his body, he spoke to them for the first time. "We'll be doing this tomorrow. Please feel welcome to observe again."

I caught Sam looking at me and allowed his words to flow through me once more. "Yes. We'll be here."

_...man, they smell horrible..._

_...and look as hideous as that black-haired tick..._

_...probly get upset if we killed the vampire-girl's leech..._

_...never really met any of the ticks... expect us not to accidentally kill one of our new pals?_

Sam's eyes flickered over his pack and then back to me. U _nless you want us to take down more than the coming army, we should probably become more familiar with the members of your coven… our instincts are powerful … be difficult for us not to attack every vampire we smell… you allow us to come close and learn your… scents… ?_

I heard him change the word at the last moment, knowing that what he really thought was closer to stench than scent and I tried to repress the sigh his hostility engendered. I forced myself to pull away from Bella and addressed my family.

"The pack thinks it would be helpful to be familiar with each of our scents – so they don't make mistakes later. If we could hold very still, it will make it easier for them," I added, picking up the thoughts from the pack who were already mentally wincing at the thought of getting a closer smell of our burning sweetness.

"Certainly. Whatever you need," Carlisle agreed, gesturing to our family in invitation for them to come among us.

They stood and began to slowly walk toward us. I heard Bella's heart change from the calm resting pace it had slowly returned to during our training into a panicky sprint. I inhaled and tasted her flow of adrenaline - appealing despite the surrounding combination of burning sweet and death stenches - but forced myself not to go to her. The wolves were coming to smell _us_ and I didn't want them near her anyway. That didn't stop me from staring at Bella and attempting to decipher what she thought of them.

I knew she'd seen Jacob as a wolf at least once – though I doubted it had been more than that – but I knew she hadn't seen the entire pack as wolves before this night any more than we had. She had fought with me over her safety around them so many times that it was gratifying to see her obvious fear of them. Trying to remember the danger my family was in, I monitored the thoughts of Sam as he walked over to my father and stood far closer to him than Jacob had to me the first day when he'd come to watch over Bella's house. My nose began to sting and the desire to rub it came over me again, though I held myself still.

I stopped paying attention to the pack around my family when I saw Bella's face in Jacob's mind. She was staring at him, but her face no longer was full of fear. Rather, it reminded me of the way she had looked at me in our meadow. Curious, fascinated, and unafraid, she watched Jacob bear his teeth at her and _giggled._ My muscles locked into place and I forced my expression to remain neutral while I watched the enormous monster trot over to stand in front of the girl I loved. Despite this, Jacob heard the growl that was unable to stop from building in my chest.

… _relax bloodsucker… not gonna hurt her…_

… _Jacob! What are you doing?_

… _always gotta show off…_

… _not here to play with your girlfriend, Jake…_

… _calm down. She needs to see us to trust us…_

The huge reddish-brown wolf was standing just feet away from Bella when he crouched down to look into her eyes. She looked so tiny next to him! I was sure that if my heart were still alive, it would have been pounding in fear for her. I felt Jasper trying to calm me with his talent, but although he eased my fear, knowing that my calm was false only served to irritate me further. Worse was knowing that I had no other choice _but_ to remain calm. Jacob wanted me to react to him. I was sure this was due to the way I'd acted on the night when he'd kissed Bella without her permission. My lack of open hostility then may not have won over Bella's father, but it had certainly raised his opinion of me. This time was no different. If I took any kind of action now, it would reflect badly upon me, and risk a negative reaction from the wolves as well as Bella.

I ground my teeth, hating Jacob Black with every cell in my body.


	27. Planning

**Planning**

Even hating him as I did, I had to admire Jacob's persistence and reasoning. There was _nothing_ I could do while he tried to win my girlfriend over directly in front of me. Anything I said or did would risk losing the wolves' co-operation in the coming battle.

"Jacob?" Bella whispered. He growled deep in his throat and somehow the sound was one of amusement rather than threat.

To my dismay, she reached her hand out to him. I could see us in my memory, our meadow bright with sunshine, me lying beside her while she brushed her fingers along my arm and hand. I could see in her eyes now the same look of wonder as when she'd first explored the way my skin felt to her. Jasper kept trying to calm me, but even with his influence, I was still trembling with the rage and terror I felt at losing her to him. I fought it back, knowing that choosing him would be better for her. I could only kill her; he could give her a life.

He leaned his head into her hand while she brushed her fingers through the fur on the side of his face. Her hand was inches away from his razor-sharp teeth, but she didn't seem aware of them at all. She took a step closer to him and I was forced to experience his pleasure as she caressed him.

Only vaguely aware of my family's thoughts shouting at me, or of the pack's censorship for Jacob's rash actions, my entire being was focused on Bella's face next to the wolf's and on the thoughts in his mind. My eyes were wide, my fists clenched, and my lips pulled back from my teeth in a ferocious snarl, but I didn't dare move.

He moaned deep in his chest at the soft feeling of her fingers. His eyes closed and the images in his mind were a kaleidoscope of memories: her face when they walked along the beach, hand in hand; the way her lips had tasted when he'd kissed her; the way she used to smile at him - a carefree smile like she had never flashed at me. And coloring every memory was his growing love for her, his hatred for me, and his terror at the death I threatened her with.

He felt a strong desire to kiss her again, but knew that – aside from the fact that he was a dog at that moment – I would never allow it. And nor would she. An instant before he acted I felt the playful decision in his mind and he _licked_ her, just like any mutt would lick a human.

"Ew! Gross, Jake!" she exclaimed and smacked him as she jumped away from him. They were both laughing while she wiped his slobber off of her face.

My family was disgusted. The pack was embarrassed. I was _furious._ It might not have been a kiss, but it had been close, and he'd gotten away with it! Despite my promise to him, I couldn't even break his jaw. Not if I wanted the pack's help in saving the lives of everyone I loved. I carefully schooled my expression an instant before she looked over at me. I saw her eyebrows furrow in concern as she took in whatever look my face still held. Though I made certain I no longer looked furious, I could still feel my mouth contorting itself into a hard line.

Seeing my expression, too, Jacob laughed at me. _Ha! Betcha thought she'd be afraid of me, didn't ya?_

... _pushing your luck, Jacob... time to go..._

_...before his stupid girlfriend gets us all killed..._

_...take their smell anymore_

_..._ go! _Drag your sorry ass back to Billy's if I have to..._

Thankfully, the rest of the pack was as ready to go as we were to have them gone. Unwilling to turn their backs to us, they crept backwards into the woods, one by one turning away to run back to their reservation. Sam and Paul stayed behind to watch Jacob, who hadn't left Bella's side yet. Deciding I'd had enough, I walked over to take my place at Bella's side, reaching for her hand. I glared at him briefly, letting the hostility radiate off of me before turning to look into Bella's face.

Her eyelids drooped and her shoulders slumped. I knew she was tired and thought it a good idea for us to get away before either side did something rash.

"Ready to go?"

Before she could open her mouth, I heard Jacob protest, _...a minute bloodsucker... still have a few things to discuss before you leave._

I met his eyes briefly before they flickered between Bella, myself, each member of my family, then back to me.

_...seem certain the army is coming for Bella... what's your plan to keep her safe while you're off fighting newborn leeches?_

"I haven't figured out all the details yet," I told him truthfully. Before Alice's vision, my family had been planning on fighting the army far away from Forks, not understanding that it was Bella whom they had been created to kill. She'd have been safe when we left to kill the army – though I would have insisted on at least leaving her in the care of Esme with Victoria still a threat – but with the newborns on their way here specifically to kill Bella, I'd have to find a way to guard her while we fought.

_...hate to miss out on killing vampires, but Sam would let me stand guard over their house if I asked..._

_...of course I would..._

_...hah! More for me..._

_...quiet already! Killing this army is no game..._

_...doesn't mean it won't be fun..._

Though I couldn't stop from hearing them completely, I was used to being able to focus on a single mind at a time and filtering out others, but when the many minds were a part of the one I was listening to, they were there whether I wanted to hear them or not. I concentrated harder on listening for just Jacob's voice among the other wolves' as I insisted, "It's more complicated than that."

_...what's the big deal? You've left her in my protection before..._

It wasn't just that I didn't like him; there were too many newborns, too many variables. What if their path ended up taking them closer to town? Alice couldn't see their exact path and Bella's scent lingered on my clothes. I'd been all over the area hunting. What if more than one caught her scent and followed it? What if any of them left the main group for any reason and traced her to her home or wherever else she was hiding? A single wolf wasn't protection enough. Besides, it was _my_ job to keep her safe. If I had to fly her to another country, she'd never be harmed.

Shaking my head at him, I said, "Don't concern yourself; I'll make sure it's safe."

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked in a sharp voice.

"Just discussing strategy," I said smoothly. I didn't want her more worried than I knew she would be already.

... _never willing to tell her the truth, are you?_ he sneered at me. He looked back and forth between us for a moment before bolting into the surrounding woods.

"Wait!" Bella protested as he left. She turned to me with an unhappy look in her eyes. "Why did he leave?"

"He's coming back," I told her, seeing the image of him shedding his wolf form and donning the pants he'd brought. I bit back my laugh. He'd had to tie them onto his back leg or be forced to talk to us naked. "He wants to be able to talk for himself," I explained to her when she still looked confused.

She nodded her understanding and leaned into me. Knowing how exhausted she was, I wrapped an arm around her and waited for Jacob Black to rejoin us. Though Jacob had retaken his human form, I could still catch the thoughts of Sam and Paul in the woods. They were wolves and were keeping tabs on the members of the pack as they ghosted through the woods back to their homes. I found it quite interesting that there was no difference in the volume or clarity of the others' minds as they ran away.

My family was gathered together discussing the training session in low voices. Except for Rosalie, they were all excited, in high spirits after the night of sparring. Jasper was pleased with everyone's progress – even Rose's – and Emmett was trying to convince them to continue when Jacob trotted back into the clearing.

"Okay, bloodsucker," he said in a sour voice. "What's so complicated about it?"

"I have to consider every possibility," I explained calmly before needling him. "What if someone gets by you?"

He snorted, offended. "Okay, so leave her on the reservation. We're making Collin and Brady stay behind anyway. She'll be safe there."

"Are you talking about me?" Bella demanded with an angry twist to her mouth.

"I just want to know what he plans to do with you during the fight."

" _Do_ with me?" she repeated, insulted.

"You can't stay in Forks, Bella. They know where to look for you there. What if someone slipped by us?" I explained unwillingly. Jacob wasn't the only one who could tell her the truth. Victoria knew where she lived. If this army _was_ hers, she'd tell them exactly where to find Bella, and the intruder had already been to her house.

She paled and gasped, "Charlie?"

I suppressed a sigh. Of _course_ it would be her father she was worried about being found, not herself.

"He'll be with Billy," Jacob decided. "If my dad has to commit a murder to get him there, he'll do it. Probably won't take that much. It's this Saturday, right? There's a game."

"This Saturday?" Bella latched onto the information that I hadn't yet told her. She frowned at me and I thought she was about to scold me for not telling her when she muttered, "Well, crap! There goes your graduation present."

I didn't bother to hold back my laugh. "It's the thought that counts. You can give the tickets to someone else," I suggested.

"Angela and Ben," she replied immediately. The relief in her voice was obvious when she said, "At least that will get them out of town."

I felt a smile tugging at the corner of my lips that she would want to protect the one human friend of hers that I actually liked. "You can't evacuate everyone," I said as I brushed my fingers against her cheek. "Hiding you is just a precaution. I told you – we'll have no problem now. There won't be enough of them to keep us entertained."

Jacob did _not_ like me touching her in front of him – or the reaction her body had to me – and demanded, "But what about keeping her in La Push?"

I shook my head. "She's been back and forth too much. She's left trails all over the place. Alice only sees very young vampires coming on the hunt, but obviously someone created them. There is someone more experienced behind this. Whoever he – " I paused to glance at Bella, acknowledging her insight that it could be Victoria, " – or she is, this _could_ be a distraction. Alice will see if he decides to look himself, but we could be very busy at the time that decision is made. Maybe someone is counting on that. I can't leave her somewhere she's been frequently. She _has_ to be hard to find, just in case. It's a very long shot, but I'm not taking any chances."

I could hear her heart rate increase as I spoke and looked away from Jacob into Bella's fear-filled face. I patted her arm, assuring her, "Just being overcautious."

Jacob flung his arm out to the mountains that surrounded us. "So hide her here. There's a million possibilities – places either one of us could be in just a few minutes if there's a need."

I shook my head, knowing he didn't understand the way Bella really smelled to all vampires. The coven in Italy, James's coven, and my family as well agreed that her scent was unusually strong, intoxicating. I tried to explain, "Her scent is too strong and, combined with mine, especially distinct. Even if I carried her, it would leave a trail. _Our_ trace is all over the range, but in conjunction with Bella's scent, it would catch their attention. We're not sure exactly which path they'll take, because _they_ don't know yet. If they crossed her scent before they found us…" I trailed off, hating the image I could see in both of our minds.

None of the army reaching my family or the pack of dogs, but all of them, twenty newborns plus whoever was behind this – and my mind conjured Victoria's face far too easily – heading straight for me. For Bella. I'd never be able to protect her alone. I felt my face twist in anger and frustration at this image and saw Jacob's scrunch in a similar expression at the same time.

"You see the difficulties," I acknowledged.

"There has to be a way to make it work," Jacob insisted. He stared off into the mountains, imagining the army combing the wilderness, looking for us. He couldn't pretend that with their vampire speed and endurance none of them would find me and thus Bella no matter where I hid her.

Though she had been alert all through our training and the conversation that followed, Bella's endurance gave out and I saw her body slump. Instantly winding my arm around her, I pulled her body against mine and held her securely upright.

"I need to get you home – you're exhausted. And Charlie will be waking up soon…" Before I could finish my thought, I caught the idea that flowed through Jacob's mind just before he swung back to face me, his face alight with excitement.

"Wait a sec. My scent disgusts you, right?" He was picturing the way all of our noses would wrinkle against the smell every time we had gotten together and the way we instinctively tried to avoid smelling each other. I saw an image of a newborn vampire coming across his scent and running the opposite direction – away from him _and_ Bella.

Impressed, I said, "Hmm, not bad."

 _...Your scent would lead them to her._ Mine _will hide her. You can't protect her, but I always can..._

Though frustrated at his attitude, I had to agree with him. "It's possible. Jasper?"

My brother caught the excitement and smug relief coming from Jacob and looked at me curiously. _...y_ _eah?_ he thought as he walked over with Alice trailing behind. _What has the dog so excited?_

... _more wolf interference... what now?_

I nearly laughed at my tiny sister. She hated being blind.

... _need to carry her... not going to attack me for this, are you?_ Jacob shot me a wary look. Though the idea of attacking him was tempting - especially after he'd licked her - if it meant Bella was safe, I could even put up with seeing her in his arms.

"Okay, Jacob," I nodded my permission for him to touch her.

Grinning now, a feeling of mischief mixing with his excitement, he turned to Bella and reached for her. I was _very_ gratified to see the way she narrowed her eyes at him and angled her body away from his approach.

Jacob was far too pleased with this turn of events. First he'd licked her as a dog, and now he actually had my permission to hold her in his arms.

... _wolf one... tick nuthin'..._ I caught a ripple of laughter in his mind as he amended his thoughts. ... _check that. Wolf_ dozens... _hah!_ His mind filled with the images of him saving Bella time and again when I'd left her; saving her from Laurent, from Victoria, from drowning, now with his pack to help us defeat the coming army, and himself, masking her scent so she could be safely hidden away.

... _whoa, easy, little brother..._

I forced myself to take a slow breath, ignoring Jacob's stench and allowing Jasper's calming emotions to flow over me. I might not like it, but Jacob did speak the truth. Bella was only alive because of the mutt I hated.

"We're going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail," Jacob explained to Bella, who continued to scowl at his open arms.

Speaking evenly – I _wanted_ her to go with him, after all – I reassured her, "You're going to have to let him carry you, Bella."

Her expression of continued distrust was soothing to me, but I nearly tore his arms off of him when he got tired of waiting on her assent and grabbed her around the waist with one arm, scooping her legs out from under her with his other.

"Don't be such a baby," he said to her with a glance at me.

I saw Bella's eyes fix on my face at the same time and did not allow any of the emotions I was feeling to show to either of them. Jasper was the only one truly aware of my tension. Despite the look on her face, I heard how her body reacted to him. I could smell her unique scent even stronger than before with her heart racing and a new flow of adrenaline in her system. I knew that there was nothing that could ever mask Bella to my senses and turned to my brother.

"Bella's scent is so much more potent to me – I thought it would be a fairer test if someone else tried."

Jacob turned from us with a smirk and strode away from me with the girl I loved held in his arms. I couldn't stop the growl in my chest as he disappeared into the tree line. His thoughts weren't very coherent. Mostly, I caught images and vague wishes that he could just run off with her and never return. When he glanced down into her face, I saw her lower lip sticking out in a pronounced pout, her arms crossed petulantly across her chest.

I swallowed the venom that was flooding my mouth and unclenched the fists my hands had curled into. "Jazz," I said in a low voice, "would you please go and see if this plan has any merit? _Before_ I rip him to pieces?"

... _calm down, Edward..._ he thought as he glanced at my furious expression.

"I _am_ calm," I said through clenched teeth.

"Uh-huh," he mumbled before heading into the forest after Jacob and Bella.

"I'll come at them from another direction," Alice offered since Jasper was following their trail exactly. I nodded and she took off, lithely springing into the trees like a fairy from the tales of old.

Jacob stayed within my mental hearing range and I followed both his thoughts and my brother's while they walked through the woods. Jasper had his senses opened, as though he were hunting. He was trying to be careful in case he _did_ scent Bella. He didn't want his instincts to take over and attack her – again - but we knew that was how the newborns would be approaching the scene.

He could smell the insects – there was a tree to his left that was riddled with termites and would likely not last another year – the birds in the trees above, a trail that a passing deer had left earlier in the day, and all around was the odor of rotting plant life. Standing out from all of the other scents, nearly overpowering in its repulsiveness, was that of a strange animal. It was strong and powerful, like that of the mountain lions I so enjoyed, but _wrong_. It was like a dead lion. Unnatural, and all the more disturbing in that it kept moving. The creature who left the scent was obviously _not_ dead.

Against his better instincts, Jasper inhaled deeply through his mouth and nose, pulling as much of the odor past his sensitive senses as he could, concentrating on detecting any trace of Bella's sweet perfection. He stopped by the bushes that Jacob had brushed against, running his hands along the leaves, bringing them right up under his nose. As Jasper followed Jacob's trail through the woods, he squatted down by the roots he had climbed over, brushed his fingers through the leaves and pine needles that littered the forest floor, carefully examining every inch of the forest that Jacob had walked through. Despite his best efforts, all he was truly able to detect was Jacob.

I concentrated on smelling through his senses, seeing if I could pick up anything he might miss, and caught a hint of flower. Here and there as he sniffed his way though the forest, I sensed a sweetness that wasn't connected with any plants that were growing nearby. Bella's natural freesia and lavender came through to me, even from the filter of another's senses. Or... was I smelling her through Jacob? I couldn't be sure.

Alice had sprinted out of my range, but I heard her when she came back within my hearing. She was following an old trail into the clearing and I clearly caught her disgust when she came across Jacob's path. Her instincts told her to run away – far and fast – from the horrid stench. She didn't give in to the desire and inspected the path Jacob had taken, waiting on Jasper to catch up with her.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. Bella would be kept safe and we would obliterate this army. If Victoria didn't show herself, then I would see about hiding Bella in a more secure location under the care of Carlisle and Esme while my siblings and I hunted for the ferocious vampire. She would not be hunting anything for much longer.

Skipping out of my siblings' minds, I watched through Jacob's eyes. I saw him nearing the clearing where my family and I waited and turned to face him. He'd made a large arch through the woods and returned many yards away from the place where he'd entered.

I clearly heard Bella's voice when she demand, "You can put me down now."

"I don't want to take a chance of messing up the experiment." Seeing me watch them, he deliberately slowed his steps back to where I stood.

"You are _so_ annoying," she complained.

His voice was gloating when he responded, "Thanks."

Jasper and Alice returned to the clearing, showing me clearly the one place in the forest where Bella had apparently brushed against the hanging leaves from a tree. Alice showed me her memory of coming across the delicious smelling human scent, barely detectable, though it had been. Jasper's eyes had widened, the gold replaced by black almost instantly. He'd been concentrating so hard on hunting that his instincts had nearly taken him over. Alice had seen him act a moment before he did and caught him before he could take off. He'd looked almost surprised to see her when Alice had forced him to recognize her face.

Alice's rapid run through had taken barely a second, during which time Jacob had set Bella back on her feet. I didn't hide my smile when Bella didn't even glance back at the mutt, walking straight up to me and linking her hand through mine.

"Well?" Bella demanded of Jasper.

"As long as you don't touch anything, Bella, I can't _imagine_ someone sticking their nose close enough to that trail to catch your scent," he said, his mouth twisting with disgust. "It was almost completely obscured."

"A definite success," Alice agreed, scrunching up her nose.

"And it gave me an idea," Jasper told her.

"Which will work," Alice confirmed, showing me an image of Bella walking through the forest toward the clearing where our own army would be waiting. I saw another image and noted the difference in shadow length and direction as an army of bloodthirsty vampires followed the trail she had left.

"Clever," I said, impressed with my brother's plan.

"How do you _stand_ that?" Jacob complained to Bella. ... _fill the rest of us in, already?_

Deliberately turning away from him, I fixed my gaze on Bella's face and explained to her, "We're – well, _you're_ – going to leave a false trail to the clearing, Bella. The newborns are hunting, your scent will excite them, and they'll come exactly the way we want them to without being careful about it. Alice can already see that this will work. When they catch _our_ scent, they'll split up and try to come at us from two sides. Half will go through the forest, where her vision suddenly disappears…"

"Yes!" Jacob interrupted, understanding at once that those would encounter his pack. I caught his enthusiasm at destroying the vile creatures that threatened the girl we both loved. I couldn't help but to smile at him. Despite everything, I would be eternally grateful to Jacob Black for all of the times he had saved Bella's life, both when I had betrayed and left her, and now. His family was putting themselves in danger to save her for him. Even knowing that she was planning on becoming one of us, they were putting their personal hatred for us aside and fighting alongside us – making us allies, not enemies. It was weird.

Jasper was picturing the coming army, knowing how ravenous newborns always were and how intoxicating Bella's scent would be to them. Following her trail would have them nearly frantic. However, a trail - no matter how fresh - would be nothing compared to the affect hearing her heart, seeing her, and smelling her fresh, pulsing warmth would have on them. If they came into the clearing and saw Bella there waiting for them, they would be oblivious to my family and would head straight toward her, allowing us to kill them off before they could even think about fighting back.

Snarling at him, furious at my brother for even _daring_ to think such a thing, I snapped, "Not a chance."

"I know, I know. I didn't even consider it, not really," he denied.

Not happy at being kept out of the conversation, Alice stomped on his foot.

He couldn't stop his emotions as he explained his idea to her, and I felt the yearning of a military commander for a fighting method that would give his side an easy victory. "If Bella was actually there in the clearing, it would drive them insane. They wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything but her. It would make picking them off truly easy…" He glanced at me, his words a combination of explaining his idea to Alice and attempting to convince me of its validity. Feeling the fury I wasn't bothering to hide, he stopped and admitted, "Of course it's too dangerous for her. It was just an errant thought." Still, he glanced again at Bella, and I saw the image in his mind of the affect Bella's presence would have on the coming army.

"No." I very nearly lost my hold on my temper. It was only Bella's hand in mine that prevented me from tackling him to the ground for even planting the seed of the idea in her mind. Deciding not to push me any farther – a smart move on his part, given the rage he could feel building in me – he stopped arguing his case.

"You're right. Best two out of three?" he invited Alice as he took her hand in his and turned to rejoin the rest of our family.

... _putting her life in the care of someone who doesn't even care about her... disgusting... using her as_ bait _is one thing, but a target?!_

Catching the look on Jacob's face, I defended my brother. Despite the fury his idea had incited in me, I couldn't deny its validity, but it would just be too dangerous for her. All it would take was for one to slip through, and Bella would be dead before I could do anything about it.

"Jasper looks at things from a military perspective. He looks at all the options – it's thoroughness, not callousness."

He snorted. ... _whatever lies you want to tell yourself, bloodsucker..._

Ignoring his rude thoughts, I continued to confirm our plans for the weekend. "I'll bring her here Friday afternoon to lay the false trail. You can meet us afterward, and carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way, and easily defensible, not that it will come to that. I'll take another route there." I could easily picture the two of us, snug in a tent on the mountain. It was a high place where I'd hunted before and overlooked the mountain range and lakes. I'd be able to see for miles around, keeping her safe through the night before returning to my family for the fight.

"And then what? Leave her with a cell phone?"

"You have a better idea?" I demanded, offended by his intentionally derisive tone.

"Actually, I do." He smirked at me. ... _my pack's reception's much better and more reliable, with the added benefit of providing her with a guardian..._

"Oh…" I didn't like the idea of leaving her alone with any of the wolves, but I liked the idea of leaving her completely alone even less. She'd been safe enough on the reservation before. So long as Jacob himself was out of the picture, I could put up with the presence of one of the others and admitted, "Again, dog, not bad at all."

Jacob faced Bella to explain his idea. "We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with the younger two. He's still too young, but he's stubborn and he's resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for him – cell phone."

Bella's expression was blank. I knew she was tired and didn't seem to be able to keep up with the conversation… especially when so much of it occurred in thoughts.

"As long as Seth Clearwater is in his wolf form, he'll be connected to the pack," I explained to her. I saw comprehension on her face this time. The place I had in mind was well out of my mental hearing range, though. I'd have to rely on the pack's connection in order to hear Seth's thoughts and I had no idea how far their range was. "Distance isn't a problem?" I asked Jacob.

"Nope." ... _chased that red haired leech's scent over three hundred miles before we lost it in a lake... could still hear the two we'd left at home..._

"Three hundred miles?" I repeated, impressed despite myself. "That's impressive."

"That's the farthest we've ever gone to experiment. Still clear as a bell," he said, smugly.

Bella nodded, her eyes glazing over, a look of dread on her face.

Trying to reassure her, I said, "It's a good idea. I'll feel better with Seth there, even without the instantaneous communication. I don't know if I'd be able to leave Bella there alone." Then, trying to tease her out of her look of fear, I said, "To think, it's come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!"

"Fighting _with_ vampires instead of against them!" Jacob sneered, not appreciating my teasing tone.

"Well, you still get to fight against some of them," I said consolingly.

Jacob grinned at the idea. "That's why we're here."

"I need to get Bella home," I said, firmly and glanced at Jacob. "We'll see you here, Friday?"

He nodded. _Friday, then..._


	28. Priorities

**Priorities**

After being forced to watch Jacob carry Bella in his arms, I was almost glad for the exhaustion that gave me an excuse to hold her. I scooped her up, watching with a pleased smirk as Jacob grimaced at the way Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, leaning into my body in a way she had not when _he'd_ held her. Even with her fascination for his wolf form, she had rejected him once he was human.

Usually when we ran, she clung to my back, but this time, I held her cradled in my arms. I trotted slowly back to her house, exhilarated at the way the events had played out. I'd been so worried about how I was going to keep her safe and how my family was going to survive the planned attack on the army. Now, thanks to the wolf that I hated, all of those worries were gone.

She fell asleep in my arms long before we reached her house. When I get there, I was faced with a dilemma. I didn't want to wake her, but not having my arms free, I couldn't hang from the eaves to open her window as I usually would. I shifted my hold on her so that I held her carefully balanced in one arm and reached for the hidden key by the front door to let myself in. After tucking her in bed, I slipped silently back downstairs to replace the key and relock the door.

It was nearly morning, so I settled into her rocking chair, knowing that Charlie would wake soon and check on Bella before going to work. Laughing at myself, I began to rock, enjoying the human feeling of the repetitive movement. When I heard Charlie wake and begin to move about, I leapt from her room to keep watch from the trees until he left. After climbing back through her window, I slipped into Bella's bed, making sure to tuck her covers tight about her to protect her from my icy skin. Her covers were radiating the warmth from her body, and I enjoyed feeling my skin's temperature rise in response.

Lying beside her, I reviewed all that I had learned that night, both from my brother as I watched him teach my family, and also from the wolves. After several hours of quiet sleep, she began to stir. The pack had been fascinating to listen to, but they were not nearly as riveting to me as Bella's dreams.

At first she merely mumbled unintelligibly. She tossed her head, rolling away from me, then back, curling into my body. She gasped, her eyes flew open, she half sat up, and her hands clasped the sheets.

"Bella?" I stared into her open eyes, but they were unfocused and her pupils were dilated. After a moment, her anxious expression relaxed, she sank back onto her pillow, and her eyes closed once more.

I continued to watch her, wishing she would speak to give me some clue as to what she was dreaming about. I couldn't help but smile when she said my name, though my smile faded, when she said Jacob's, as well. She was quiet for a few minutes after that. When she spoke once more, she said each member of my family's name, as well as those of the pack she'd known. Strangely, she said Alice's name in a tone of dread. I knew she loved my sister; why would she say her name like that? I shook my head, knowing that I would never know the reason.

She repeated Jasper's name several times, before mumbling words that would have stopped my heart, had it been beating. "Mmm, wanna help..."

"Damn it, Jasper!" I muttered under my breath. I'd known she would take his suggestion to heart.

"Mmmy fault... Get hurt..."

"Oh, Bella, no." I sighed and stroked her cheek, shaking my head. None of this was her fault! Why did she always have to blame herself? She leaned into my touch, her sleep quieting for a short time, but when she spoke again, she was obviously still dreaming of the coming battle. Her brow was furrowed and she muttered words between periods of silence or low moaning.

"Help... Be there... Go... Mmme... They want me..." I listened in dread as she repeated those words several times in varying forms.

"They'll never touch you!" I whispered fiercely into her ear, hoping my words would reach her.

She sighed and laid quietly against me for a while. Her next dream brought a smile to my face, though she frowned. "...wife."

I thought that was perhaps one of the most beautiful words I'd ever heard her say, even if she was frowning when she spoke. When she muttered, "Third wife…" it was my turn to frown. What could _that_ possibly mean?

She muttered several strings of unintelligible words, "Tahaaaki... Yaa, haa, ootaa..."

Fascinated, I watched her face while she repeated the strange sounds.

Bella must have been even more tired than I had realized. She slept all morning and into the afternoon, and I listened to her dreams all day. How I wished I could see into her mind! Though her eyes opened several times, she never truly seemed awake when they did, and would close them again quickly.

Her breathing and heart beat changed just before she said, "Edward?" and began to grope about. I smiled and caught her hand, bringing it to my lips.

"Are you really awake this time?"

She took a deep breath and her eyes opened to meet mine. "Mmm. Have there been a lot of false alarms?"

"You've been very restless – talking all day." I felt my lips twitching in amusement, knowing how it seemed to embarrass her that I listened to her sleep-talking.

"All _day?"_ She blinked, looking surprised and glancing out the window.

"You had a long night. You'd earned a day in bed."

"Wow," she said as she sat up.

I smiled at her sleepy appearance. Her hair was matted and wild, and there were creases along her cheek from her pillow. Her eyes were still glazed and she fought back a yawn. I heard her stomach making strange gurgling noises.

"Hungry? Do you want breakfast in bed?" I offered. Unlike our first morning together, I knew her favorite cereal now.

"I'll get it," she said, stretching and yawning. "I need to get up and move around."

Feeling the need to be close to her, I took her hand in mine as we walked down the stairs and into her kitchen. She seemed wobbly on her feet and not quite awake. I leaned against the counter and watched her unwrap a pastry to heat in the toaster. It smelled odd, rather like plastic, and I wondered how it could possibly taste good to her.

"Ugh, I'm a mess," she complained, running her fingers through her hair and tucking loose strands behind her ears.

"It was a long night. You should have stayed here and slept," I insisted. My family had practiced for hours, and that was _after_ the long graduation ceremony and party. It was a wonder she'd stayed awake through it all.

"Right! And missed _everything."_ She eyed me shrewdly for a moment, waiting on her breakfast to finish cooking. "You know, you need to start accepting that I'm part of the family now."

I didn't bother to hold back my smile at that thought. _Family_. How I longed for her to be officially _mine_. For Jacob to never be a threat to my happiness again. "I could probably get used to that idea." My grin widened as I wondered if she would be more accepting of my desire to marry her the next time I dared to press her.

She raised her pastry to her mouth and I saw that her wrist was adorned with a new piece of jewelry. I'd noticed the bracelet the previous night, but now saw that it included a tiny figurine which was swinging against her skin.

"May I?" I asked, reaching slowly for the charm.

"Um, sure." She held her hand out to me, but I smelled a strange surge of adrenaline.

Very carefully, I placed my hand under the figure and inspected it. A perfectly formed wolf stood on my palm. It was obviously hand-carved, but with such care and attention to detail, I almost expected it to start wagging its tail. The figure was Jacob in miniature, from his shape down to his coloring.

I was stung. Though she continuously rejected his human advances, Bella seemed to have no problem with Jacob when he was in his wolf form, and now he'd found a way to keep himself with her – _on_ her. I desperately wanted to see my mother's ring on her finger - or _any_ kind of token of my affection for her - but she refused to allow me to give her anything.

Taking care not to allow any emotion to enter my voice, I observed, "Jacob Black can give you presents."

"You've given me presents," she pointed out. "You know I like the homemade kind."

I considered this statement. I knew the CD I'd recorded of myself playing the piano was often in her player. It wasn't gifts she objected to, then, it was money being spent. I pressed my lips together and tried to remember past the haze to my memory of my mother. My family had been wealthy and I'd inherited quite a lot, both in terms of money and in heirlooms, even before Alice had used her visions to increase what I had. Though I'd gifted Esme and my sisters with several of them, I still had quite a few of my mother's pieces in my possession. There was one in particular that I could recall clearly; a charm that my father had given to her - perhaps for an anniversary, or a birthday, I couldn't remember – that had dangled from a simple chain around her throat until the day she had died.

"How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?" I asked, hopefully.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "What do you mean?"

Taking her hand in mine, I ran a finger around her wrist, drawing a bracelet of my own against her skin. "This bracelet, you'll be wearing this a lot?"

She shrugged, but didn't speak.

"Because you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings."

"Sure, I guess so," she agreed, hesitantly.

Wishing again that I could see my ring on her finger, I turned her hand over so that I could see the creases that traced her palm and the thin blue lines that ran up the inside of her delicate wrist.

"Don't you think it's fair, then, if I have a little representation?" I placed a finger on her wrist, feeling the slight difference in temperature along the veins and tracing the heat of them up her arm. I looked up to meet her eyes.

"Representation?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

I smiled, trying to look innocent. "A charm – something to keep _me_ on your mind."

She rolled her eyes. "You're in every thought I have. I don't need any reminders."

Staring hard into her eyes, trying to dazzle her, I insisted, "If I gave you something, would you wear it?"

She pursed her lips, her eyes loosing focus. Bella blinked a few times before confirming, "A hand-me-down?"

I grinned at her, enjoying the affect I had on her. "Yes, something I've had for a while."

She shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy."

I sighed. Though she said "whatever made me happy" she still refused to give me the one thing I really wanted: her yes. Alice gave her an outfit, Jacob gave her a bracelet and charm, but I had to practically fight her to be allowed to give her anything. Even when I bought things for myself, like the bed, she wouldn't use them.

"Have you noticed the inequality? Because I certainly have," I said, with an unhappy twist to my mouth.

"What inequality?" she cocked her head, her eyes anxious.

"Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn't. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That's utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?" I demanded.

"Easy." Her voice was calm, as though the answer was obvious. "You're more important than everyone else. And you've given me _you._ That's already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance."

Astonished, I stared at her for a moment, considering her words. She didn't deserve what I threatened her with; she deserved so much more. I could give her things – if she would have let me – but I couldn't give her a real life. I was a vampire, a killer, a monster by anyone's definition – except Bella's – but somehow she saw me as better than her. Looking into her chocolate eyes, seeing the love there, I tried to see myself from her point of view, and failed. I would never understand why she loved me.

Rolling my eyes, I told her, "The way you regard me is ludicrous."

She didn't answer, simply chewed her pastry with a little half-smile.

I felt my phone buzz and took it out of my pocket, glancing at the ID before answering. I never failed to feel a sense of dread whenever my psychic sister called me.

"What is it, Alice?" I answered, tensely.

"Your girlfriend has got to be one of the most stubborn humans on the face of the planet!"

I sighed, agreeing with her completely.

"I knew last night that she wanted to try something to help us fight the newborns, but I warned her off. I thought she'd listened to me, because I saw her safe again, but now! Now, I see her wandering the forest, _looking_ for the very vampires who are out to kill her!"

I sighed again, trying to contain my fury – both with her, and with my brother for planting the idea of acting as a target in her mind.

"I'm not sure how she does it, because _she_ doesn't know yet. Since I'm not sure exactly how the army is coming, I can't see if she runs into them or not, but I know she's going to go _looking_ for us or them."

"I sort of guessed as much," I said, unsurprised. Staring disapprovingly into Bella's eyes, I saw a confused yet guilty expression cross her face.

"What makes you say that? And why didn't you tell me?"

"She was talking in her sleep," I explained. I watched as the blood swirled up to color her cheeks, and inhaled to taste the scent of her blush.

"Oh. Well, you can't let her go looking for us! I can't see her safe, or anything after the battle. I see the newborns find us, I count nineteen of them now, but then… it's just fuzzy. There's too many possibilities to pin anything down."

"I'll take care of it," I assured her and closed the phone. I felt the muscles along my jaw clenching as I stared into Bella's guilty eyes.

"Is there something you'd like to talk to me about?" I demanded, forcing her to say that she wanted to put herself in danger.

She hesitated, her eyebrows drawing together as she thought through my question. She looked away from my eyes and I had to fight myself not to tilt her face back up to me. Mastering my impatience, I waited for her to speak.

"I like Jasper's idea," she finally admitted. Well, at least she was being honest about it, but I couldn't hold back a groan at her words. I was going to _harm_ my brother for this!

"I want to help. I have to do _something."_

"It wouldn't help to have you in danger," I insisted.

"Jasper thinks it would," she argued. "This is _his_ area of expertise."

I didn't bother to hold back my glare and felt an angry growl growing in my chest.

"You can't keep me away. I'm not going to hide out in the forest while you take all the risks for me." Her tiger-kitten fury brought a smirk to my face.

"Alice doesn't see you _in_ the clearing," I pointed out. "She sees you stumbling around lost in the woods. You won't be able to find us; you'll just make it more time consuming for me to find you afterward."

Pulling that strange calm over her features that hid her emotions from me, she countered, "That's because Alice didn't factor in Seth Clearwater. If she had, of course, she wouldn't have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like Seth wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn't be too hard to persuade him to show me the way."

 _Fury!_ My Bella was far too smart for her own good and I was sure that the mutt would be more than happy to help her out. Thankfully, I knew better than she did how the pack worked after looking into their mind the previous night.

Gaining a hold on my anger, I breathed slowly and told her, "That might have worked... if you hadn't told me. Now I'll just ask Sam to give Seth certain orders. Much as he might want to, Seth won't be able to ignore that kind of injunction."

"But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would help for me to be there? I'll bet Sam would rather do me a favor than you." She smirked at me, seeming pleased with her own conclusions.

 _Damn it!_ Alice was right, she was the most stubborn human on the planet! Forcing myself to match her outward calm, I argued back, "Maybe you're right. But I'm sure Jacob would be only too eager to give those same orders."

"Jacob?" she asked with a frown.

Feeling victorious, I smirked at her. "Jacob is second in command. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed, too." I saw the defeat on her face. Although I was glad to have stumped her, I hated to see her so forlorn and tried to distract her from her desire to act as bait.

"I got a fascinating look into the pack's mind last night. It was better than a soap opera. I had no idea how complex the dynamic is with such a large pack. The pull of the individual against the plural psyche… Absolutely fascinating."

Her eyes narrowed and her mouth tightened.

Knowing that she saw through my attempt at distracting her, my smirk widened into a grin and I continued, "Jacob's been keeping a lot of secrets. For instance, did you note the smaller gray wolf there last night?"

Her answering nod was a single stiff jerk.

I laughed as I remembered my shock at the identity of certain members of the pack. "They take all of their legends so seriously. It turns out there are things that none of their stories prepared them for." I watched her fight her curiosity as I let the tempting pack gossip dangle, but she was unable to resist and sighed.

"Okay, I'll bite. What are you talking about?"

"They always accepted without question that it was only the direct grandsons of the original wolf who had the power to transform."

Her eyes widened. "So someone changed who wasn't a direct descendant?"

Enjoying myself and anticipating her reaction, I said, "No. She's a direct descendant, all right."

She blinked, and her eyes widened as she took in my meaning. _"She?"_

"She knows you. Her name is Leah Clearwater."

"Leah's a werewolf!" Bella yelled. "What? For how long? Why didn't Jacob tell me?"

I explained what I had seen and heard in their minds. "There are things he wasn't allowed to share – their numbers, for instance. Like I said before, when Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn't able to ignore it. Jacob was very careful to think of other things when he was near me. Of course, after last night that's all out the window."

Her mouth hanging open, she stared at me, stunned. "I can't believe it. Leah Clearwater!" Her eyes took on a faraway look, and her face turned sad as she shook her head. "Poor Leah."

Scornful, I assured her, "She's making life exceedingly unpleasant for the rest of them. I'm not sure she deserves your sympathy."

Her eyes narrowed, "What do you mean?"

"It's hard enough for them, having to share all their thoughts. Most of them try to cooperate, make it easier. When even one member is deliberately malicious, it's painful for everyone."

I shouldn't have been surprised that my Bella, generous and kind as she was, would take the wolf's side. "She has reason enough."

"Oh, I know." I studied her for a moment, grateful that – although Jacob loved her – she was not the object of his genetic pair-bonding. I'd been surprised at how powerful the connection was when I'd seen Quil thinking of his Claire, or Sam of his Emily. "The imprinting compulsion is one of the strangest things I've ever witnessed in my life, and I've seen some strange things. The way Sam is tied to his Emily is impossible to describe – or I should say, _her_ _Sam._ Sam really had no choice. It reminds me of _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ with all the chaos caused by the fairies' love spells… like magic." I was shaking my head at the memory. Focusing on Bella's beautiful face once more, feeling the love for her in every cell of my body, I grinned at her. "It's very nearly as strong as the way I feel about you."

For some reason, she still felt sympathetic for the wolf girl. "Poor Leah," she repeated. "But what do you mean, malicious?"

Remembering the things the wolves had thought, the images I'd seen, and the reactions they'd had to the things Leah had thrown at them, I tried to explain. "She's constantly bringing up things they'd rather not think of. For example, Embry."

"What's with Embry?" Her eyes grew wide and her forehead crinkled in confusion.

"His mother moved down from the Makah reservation seventeen years ago, when she was pregnant with him. She's not Quileute. Everyone assumed she'd left his father behind with the Makahs. But then he joined the pack."

"So?" She drew the word out, not seeing my point.

"So the prime candidates for his father are Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all of them married at that point, of course." I smirked at the pack's internal drama.

"No!" Her expression was shocked.

"Now Sam, Jacob, and Quil all wonder which of them has a half-brother. They'd all like to think it's Sam, since his father was never much of a father. But the doubt is always there. Jacob's never been able to ask Billy about that." I didn't blame him. I couldn't imagine trying to have that conversation with anyone.

"Wow," Bella said, shaking her head. "How did you get so much in one night?"

"The pack mind is mesmerizing. All thinking together and then separately at the same time. There's so much to read!" When I'd first joined human society, I'd been fascinated by the minds around me, but they had nothing compared to the pack mind.

Bella looked at me speculatively. "The pack mind is fascinating. Almost as fascinating as you are when you're trying to distract me."

My delight in the memory of their minds gone instantly, I waited for her next argument.

"I have to be in that clearing, Edward."

"No." If she could have seen the vision Alice had had at the party, she still would have been quick to place herself in danger, I was sure. Time and again, she had shown me how little her life was worth to her when those she loved were in danger. I had no doubt that her inclusion in the fight would only end in her death.

She looked away from my glare and flushed. Her eyes were fixed on the table in front of her and I watched as she clenched her hands into fists, and pressed her lips together, while the line between her eyebrows formed a deep crease. She blinked rapidly for a moment and I wondered if she was going to cry. I held myself rigid, determined not to give into her tears.

Finally, she spoke. "Okay, look, Edward." Her voice was so soft I doubted another human would have been able to hear it, but I could – clearly – and it was full of anguish. "Here's the thing… I've already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are. _And I can't stand it if you leave me again."_

I gasped, shocked at the pain those words caused. I could see in her face the same pain I had felt when I had thought she was dead. I understood why she didn't care about her life when she believed mine to be in danger. What was the point in living if we weren't together? But she didn't understand. I wasn't _in_ danger! The newborns would be no match for us, for _me_. We would be together again, and safe.

I left the counter where I leaned and wrapped my arms around Bella. I could see the pain she was in and couldn't stand the thought of her hurting. Gently, I rubbed my fingers along the lines of fear and worry on her face. She didn't look at me, continued to stare at the table. I could feel her trembling in my arms and tried to reassure her.

"You know it's not like that, Bella. I won't be far, and it will be over quickly."

She shook her head slightly. "I can't stand it. Not knowing whether or not you'll come back. How do I live through that, no matter how quickly it's over?"

Shaking my head, I insisted, "It's going to be easy, Bella. There's no reason for your fears."

Her face was tight when she looked up from the table. Still not meeting my eyes, she asked, "None at all?"

"None," I said, firmly.

"And everyone will be fine?" she pressed

"Everyone," I assured her.

"So there's no way at all that I need to be in the clearing?"

Using my most soothing voice, I tried again to calm her fears. "Of course not. Alice just told me that they're down to nineteen. We'll be able to handle it easily."

She nodded. "That's right – you said it was so easy that someone could sit out. Did you really mean that?"

Smiling, glad that she seemed calmer, I said, "Yes."

"So easy that _you_ could sit out?"

Abruptly realizing what the change in her line of questioning meant, I couldn't answer. She was trying to protect _me!_ I was one of the most powerful predators on the planet and yet this tiny, fragile human girl felt the need to protect me. She turned her face up to look into my eyes, and I stared back at her, trying unsuccessfully to come up with an answer that would convince her to stay safely away from the fight, while also convincing her to let me go.

She pulled in a slow breath, seeing the effect her words had on me. "So it's one way or the other. Either there is more danger than you want me to know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there, to do what I can to help. Or... it's going to be so easy that they'll get by without you. Which way is it?"

Yes, it would be easy... but it would be so in part _because_ I would be there. I might not be a warrior like Jasper, or nearly as strong as a newborn like Emmett, but my gift made up for that and then some. None of the rest of my family had come close to beating Jasper. They _needed_ me. They were fighting the newborns _for_ me.

"You ask me to let them fight without my help?" I confirmed.

"Yes." Her voice was steady, calm. "Or to let me be there. Either way, so long as we're together."

I breathed deeply, smelling no trace of adrenaline in her system. She was being absolutely serious. I sighed slowly and placed my hands on either side of her face, tilting it so that she had to look me in the eyes. She barely blinked as I stared into them. I loved her deep brown eyes; they'd haunted my vision every moment I'd been away from her. I'd gotten so good at reading her emotions in them as we fell in love, but over my months away, she'd changed, developed an ability to mask her emotions from me, from the world. That mask was in place now.

I saw no trace of fear, only the assurance that _we_ were what was important. She was absolutely necessary to my life. I needed her more than I needed blood, or even my family. I'd come to realize this when I'd been hunting Victoria. I had barely fed when I'd been away from her, and hadn't cared. It wasn't my family I'd needed, or thought of every second, or missed with an empty ache; it had been Bella. When I'd thought of home, it hadn't been the house in Anchorage they'd been living in – I'd only set foot in that place twice, what was it to me? – or even Esme's beautiful, white mansion here in Forks; it had been Bella's tiny room that I'd missed.

Although she wouldn't let me see her emotions, I knew from her words and her past actions that she felt the same way. I was as vital to her life as she was to mine. A memory of her face, drawn and grey, tight with grief, and shadowed with sleeplessness crossed my mind. I could see her walking along the lip of the cliff from which she had thrown herself, and I remembered her exhilarated smile while she did so.

I was certain that I would survive the fight, but she felt no such certainty. I tried to imagine how it would feel if our roles were reversed, and I was the one left sitting safely somewhere, waiting to find out if she would survive some horrible threat. All too clearly, I could recall such an instance: when James had had Bella. I'd nearly lost her to him, and in the time when she'd been in his custody, I'd been frantic. I'd come so close to losing her that day!

Now she was telling me that she would feel that same way: out of her mind with fear and worry that I wouldn't come back to her. Although I felt complete confidence in my family and the outcome of the fight, there was still the possibility - however remote - that something could go wrong. If I had learned anything from watching Alice's visions, it was that the future was fluid and could change without warning. I knew from experience that if the unthinkable happened, and I was killed, she would not survive my loss, any more than I would survive hers. Unable to bear the thought of a world without Bella, I pulled my phone from my pocket.

It rang before I could even start dialing. Knowing who it would be, I said, "Alice, could you come babysit Bella for a bit?" I raised an eyebrow at Bella, trying to tease her into a lighter mood. "I need to speak with Jasper."

"I'll be right there. He's not going to be happy about this, Edward." She hung up before I could say anything. Of course as soon as had I made the decision, Alice had seen it. I stared at Bella, memorizing every line on her face, looking for any traces of emotion that would tell me what she was thinking.

"What are you going to say to Jasper?" she whispered.

I swallowed hard and said, "I'm going to discuss... me sitting out."

"I'm sorry." At last I detected an emotion. She sounded guilty.

I didn't want her to feel guilty for needing me as much as I needed her, though and smiled gently. "Don't apologize. Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need..." I shrugged. "You are my first priority."

"I didn't mean it that way," she mumbled. "Like you have to choose me over your family."

"I know that," I assured her. "Besides, that's not what you asked. You gave me two choices that you could live with, and I chose the one that _I_ could live with. That's how compromise is supposed to work."

She buried her face in my chest. "Thank you," she said, softly.

"Anytime. Anything," I vowed to her, planting a kiss in her hair. She kept her face turned against my chest, her tension never easing. I could have stood there without moving forever, as long as I got to hold her in my arms, but my curiosity got the better of me.

"Who's the third wife?" I asked, needing to understand more of her dreams.

"Huh?"

"You were mumbling something about 'the third wife' last night. The rest made a little sense, but you lost me there," I explained.

"Oh. Um, yeah. That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night. I guess it stuck with me," she said with a shrug.

She'd been dreaming of a story she'd heard at the bonfire... where she'd been with Jacob. I frowned, moving so I could look at her face. Though her words and body language were unconcerned, her voice had a nervousness that I didn't understand. I considered pressing her, but heard Alice approaching.

"You're going to miss all the fun," she accused me when she appeared abruptly in the doorway.

As if I needed reminding. I had so looked forward to ending the threat to Bella's life myself! I hadn't gotten to kill James, or Laurent, and now I would be letting everyone else have the satisfaction of ending the army that was aimed at the girl that I loved. 

"Hello, Alice." Placing a finger under Bella's chin, I tilted her face up to mine so I could kiss her. "I'll be back later tonight. I'll go work this out with the others, rearrange things."

"Okay," Bella agreed.

"There's not much to arrange. I already told them. Emmett is pleased."

"Of course he is," I groaned. He was going to be insufferable.


	29. Sitting Out

**Sitting Out**

Driving slowly up the long drive to my house, I tried to fight back the emotions I was feeling. I was _not_ happy. Although I had been certain of my family's ability to kill this army, I felt less sure now. What if one of them got hurt because I wasn't there? Because they were one short? Emmett was not the most cautious person and far too sure of himself – despite the fact that he couldn't beat Jasper. Of course, neither could I.

Jasper's military outlook had me seething. Bella had a history of self-sacrifice. Indeed, that was why I had even met her; she'd moved to this rainy town that she hated so that her mother could spend time with her new husband. She had tried to sacrifice herself to save Renée when James had convinced Bella that he'd had her mother. She had risked her life to save mine in Italy. Just the mention that her presence could help our family had her ready to sacrifice herself again – though she was the one we were trying to save!

I ached to tear the army to shreds, and instead I was going to go hide myself away. Though I'd hated killing the vampires when I'd searched for Victoria, they hadn't been threatening the girl I loved. _These_ vampires wanted to kill her. I doubted I'd feel any remorse at tearing them apart and turning them into ash. Unable to inflict any harm upon the ones who threatened Bella, my anger turned toward Jasper for planting the idea in her head. I fought back my fury once more as I pulled into the garage, knowing that if I couldn't master my emotions, he'd feel me coming before I ever got close to him.

After I turned my Volvo off, I sat and breathed slowly for a few minutes, forcing myself to calm down. Finding a measure of peace, I walked slowly and quietly up to my house, reaching out for my family's thoughts. Everyone was gathered in the living room, discussing tactics. Though I was sure they would have heard me pull up, they were concentrating on their conversation, and not paying me any attention yet. Good.

Carefully controlling my emotions, I entered the living room, avoiding looking at Jasper.

"Edward," Carlisle greeted me. "Alice says that you're not – "

I turned and threw myself at my brother. Despite my attempt to hide them, my emotions gave me away and he moved aside a second before I touched him. I crashed to the floor and he was on me in an instant, pinning me where I had landed, and wrenching my arms behind my back.

Various exclamations of "Edward!" "Hey!" and "What the hell?!" came from my family, but I could barely hear them over my own and Jasper's loud growls. I struggled under him, but he pulled harder on my arms.

"I'd rather not rip them off, Edward," he snarled. "Stop. Now."

No longer bothering to contain my anger, I forced myself to lay still.

"Let him go, Jasper," Carlisle instructed.

"No. He's not done being stupid. Are you?" I grunted as he shoved his knee into my back.

Carlisle walked over so he could better see my face. He studied my angry scowl in silence for a moment as I continued to test my strength against Jasper's. "Explain yourself, Edward," he said in a purposefully calm voice.

"Lemme go, Jasper," I whispered, ignoring Carlisle.

"You going to attack me again?" he demanded.

"No," I said, sullenly.

He studied me for a moment before saying, "I'm not sure I believe you with the emotions you're emitting."

Really trying to free myself, I tensed against him and heard a metallic squeal, as of metal bucking under stress, and pain ripped across my shoulder. "Fine!" I snarled. "I'm not going to attack you."

He didn't release me, feeling my remaining anger.

"Get. Off. Me," I insisted.

He grunted and sprang off of me, landing in a defensive crouch only a few feet away from me.

I stood, scowling at him and rotating my damaged shoulder. As I moved it, I felt it healing, and within moments I knew that I was whole again.

"I'm not going to apologize for that," he said, gesturing at my arm.

"I didn't expect you to," I snapped, continuing to glare at him.

"Does anybody want to tell the rest of us what that was all about?" Emmett demanded.

"Yes," Carlisle agreed, rejoining the rest of my family where they waited. "Please tell us why on Earth you would behave in such an unacceptable manner."

I glanced at him and saw the anger on his face. Accusingly, I pointed at Jasper and said, "Jasper has Bella convinced that she should be in the clearing when the army comes. She wants to offer herself up as bait to distract the newborns!"

"You're leaving us to fight your fight for you, and you're going to blame _Jasper?"_ Rosalie shrieked.

"If he'd have just kept his big mouth shut, I would be there, fighting with you, helping you!"

"Oh, don't pretend that this is stemming from some altruistic need to protect us," Rosalie snarled at me. "You just want the chance to go on another vampire killing spree. Admit it."

"You don't think I'm worried about you?" I demanded. "All of you are putting yourselves in danger for me. The least I could do is be there, fighting with you."

"So why aren't you?" She leveled a hard stare at me, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. _Why_ are _you taking your little human and running away?_

I growled, not wanting to answer the question.

"Yes, Edward," Jasper said in a hard voice. "Why aren't you?" _I feel your anger, but there is something else going on here. You're feeling guilty. You're trying to hide it behind your anger, but I know better._

"Bella was going to go _looking_ for us," I hedged. "Alice saw her in the woods, lost and trying to find us."

"Bella will have a wolf guarding her," Emmett tried to reason with me. "He wouldn't let her just go wondering off if you joined us."

"A young wolf. One who is as eager for a fight as _you_ are," I said, scowling at him.

"Damn right, I am," he agreed with a grin, "I may not have Jasper's training, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to rip apart anyone who dares to threaten us. This isn't just about you, or Bella. Whoever is behind this is attacking our _family_. They may have trained their army's sights on Bella, but that's because of what she is to us. All of us."

"And I should be there," I insisted, still feeling guilty.

"Yeah," Emmett agreed calmly, "but from what Alice said, you're taking Bella somewhere safe and keeping her there."

"Yes," I scowled, "and in doing so, I'm leaving you all to fight for me without my help."

"Oh please, Edward," Emmett laughed. "I could take this army down with one hand tied behind my back!"

"There! That right there is why I'm worried, Em. You aren't taking this seriously."

"If you're so worried, then find someplace else to hide Bella where she _can't_ go seeking us out. Then she'd be safe, and you could come fight with us," he suggested."

Reading my shifting emotions, Jasper deduced, "That's not the reason you're sitting out. Or, at least, not the _only_ reason."

Pressing my lips together, I admitted, "No. It isn't."

"So? Be honest with us for a change. What happened? Why are you really 'hiding'?" He raised an eyebrow at me, daring me to challenge the term.

Sighing, I said, "Bella… is convinced that I won't survive the fight. She still hasn't recovered from what I did to her when I left. She very nearly didn't survive my betrayal. Waiting, not knowing if I'll return to her again, I'm not sure what it would do to her, but I do know that it wouldn't be good. She… she asked me to either allow her to be in the clearing or to stay with her wherever I hid her. She didn't care which, so long as we shared the same risks. I can't risk her life. With her bad luck, there's no way that she'd survive unscathed. And she can't let me risk mine. Not even to save her. Especially not that," I finished in a whisper.

"Well, how does Alice see the fight going?" Jasper pressed me. "When you were going to be there with us, _did_ she see you die?" _...surely she would have told me..._

I hesitated, not sure if knowledge of the vision Alice had seen would help or hinder.

 _Spit it out, kid,_ Emmett thought at me.

Finally, barely able to form the horrible words, I admitted, "Before the wolves got involved, the only ones she saw surviving were herself, Jasper, and Carlisle."

I heard Esme's quick intake of breath. "And now?" she whispered.

I shook my head. "Now… I don't know. The wolves make it difficult for her to see. Even if they aren't fighting directly beside us, the fact that they are involved at all is affecting her. She says there are too many possibilities at this point to pin anything down."

They all exchanged glances, absorbing this new information.

"That doesn't change anything," Carlisle said, sternly. "The army is coming for us; we will fight them as planned."

"And if you get hurt because I'm not there?"

Snickering, Emmett mocked me, "You act like your presence will make or break the fight. You think you're the only one who can take a newborn down? You may be a mind-reader little brother, but Jazz and I are born fighters. These newborns won't know what hit them!"

I growled, frustrated.

"What? Your presence didn't make a difference before the wolves involved themselves, did it?"

"Would you sacrifice your life to protect us?" Carlisle asked me.

"Of course!"

"Would you sacrifice Bella's?"

I hesitated, knowing the answer was no.

"Which is why you're sitting out," Esme concluded gently. "Because to risk your life is to risk hers, but the opposite is true, too, and we all know it. None of us want to lose you - either of you. She may not be a vampire yet, but Bella is a part of our family, Edward. We'll protect you both, just as you would protect us."

"Knowing what I do of newborns," Carlisle said, "I agree with Jasper's assessment that having a human there – _any_ human – would distract them. You know that he's trained to look at things in a way that protects the whole. But, however much it might help _us_ , having her there is too big of a risk."

"I know that," I said, flatly.

"Aside from that, no matter how well you hide her, since Alice can't pinpoint exactly how the army is coming, we can't be certain that one won't stumble across her. And, with Seth there, Alice wouldn't be able to see Bella where you hide her. The only way you can be sure of her safety is to be with her."

"I know that, too," I said, losing my belligerent tone.

"We're not going to lose you," Esme insisted. "We've come too close before. We know from experience that you can't survive without each other. I know you feel guilty, like you're abandoning us," I hung my head at this, feeling my jaw clench, "but we aren't doing anything for you that you wouldn't do for us."

"I can't risk her life," I whispered. "But I hate that you're risking yours."

"But that's our choice."

"And if we lose any of you?" I asked, gesturing at my family.

"That's not going to happen," Jasper said, firmly. "There'll be, what? Nine of them? Ten? Pshh," he scoffed with a dismissive wave of his hand. _"I_ could take half myself. You know how many battles I've been in, and that was before I had something worth fighting for."

I stared at him while he ran through the many fights he'd been in as part of Maria's army. I watched through his eyes as wave after wave of newborn vampires tried to kill him. He projected his assurance in our victory without my help and I felt my worries ease, slightly.

He continued, "If I wasn't certain that we would win, I would be doing everything in my power to change something – _anything –_ to assure us of a win. But with the wolves, I am certain." _…if I wasn't, I wouldn't let Alice be there…_

I smirked at him. "You wouldn't be able to keep her away. She'd see what you were planning and get around you."

He grinned back at me. "Exactly."

Esme came over to hug me. "It'll be okay, Edward. This will be over soon."

I clutched at her. "I'm just worried. I saw you _die_ , Esme."

"That future no longer applies. You know that."

"I still worry," I mumbled into her shoulder.

" _I_ would worry if you didn't."

"Honestly, I'm glad you're sitting out," Emmett grinned at me and laughed his big laugh. "You've already gotten to kill some vampires. It's _my_ turn."

"Emmett," Carlisle chided him. "This is no laughing matter. These children were humans. Their lives were ended because of us. They didn't ask for this."

"Yeah, but we didn't ask them to attack us, either. May as well enjoy the situation since we can't change it."

Sighing at his son's exuberance, Carlisle turned the conversation back to planning. "Edward, you'll have Bella leave a trail to the clearing on Friday as planned, and Jacob will take her to the camp site you've picked." I nodded. "Then you'll join them while we wait in the clearing for the newborns to find us. Saturday, Seth will keep you linked with the pack so you'll know when it's over and you three can join us."

Jasper nodded. "Once this attack is done with, then we can concentrate on finding whoever is behind it, assuming they don't show themselves."

"Alice saw only young vampires finding our family," I confirmed. "Whoever started this is staying out of the action."

"Well, they'll show themselves eventually. We're meeting the wolves soon. You're still joining us to help us train, aren't you?"

I nodded vigorously.

"Good. Go get Bella, then. I assume she'll want to be there, like last time."

"I'm sure," I agreed. Leaving them to continue discussing the coming fight, I drove back to Bella's house.

Making an effort to be nice to me for his daughter's sake, Charlie greeted me politely after Bella let me in. Bella had a fresh scrubbed look, her hair was tamed and she had changed into clean clothes while I was gone. I joined them at their kitchen table, where Charlie and Bella had been finishing their dinner.

Alice had declined to eat with them, but had enjoyed their company while setting the scene for the weekend. She was thinking loudly of the conversation she'd had with Bella and Charlie. True to form, she'd foreseen a problem and come up with the solution before any of the rest of us had even realized the problem existed.

"Going on a trip with your folks this weekend?" he asked me.

"That's right," I smiled gratefully at Alice. "We're camping in the North Cascades Park. Everyone but our little shopaholic here." I reached out a hand to ruffle her hair, which she ducked away from, protesting my treatment. "Really, Alice, just how many pairs of shoes _do_ you need, anyway?"

"A girl can never be too prepared," she responded, primly. "Besides, I didn't hear you complaining when I got you those new hiking boots last month."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Yeah. That's because I didn't have to go _with_ you to pick them out. And they're actually useful. You've already got a dozen pairs of pink shoes alone. What could you possibly need with another?"

She huffed, affecting an offended tone. "I do not have a dozen _pink_ _shoes_. I have a pair of orchid stilettos, two primrose ankle straps, one with open toes and one with closed, a pair of pearl blush pumps – " She ticked them off on her fingers as she described each pair.

I held up my hands in defense. "Okay, okay! I don't go shopping with you for a _reason_. I don't need a run-down of your entire wardrobe."

"I wasn't discussing my _entire_ wardrobe; just the apparel you so incorrectly labeled as 'pink shoes'." She said the last two words in disgust.

"Whatever. They go on your feet, don't they? So, they're shoes." I shrugged. Alice shook her head and sighed. Charlie was fighting to hide his smile, privately agreeing with me on his bafflement over women and their obsession with footwear.

"Well," he said to me, "have a nice trip.

"Thank you," I said with a smile. Since my confrontation with Jacob, he'd been slightly more accepting of me, for which I was extremely grateful. Really, I could almost thank the dog for kissing Bella – almost, but not quite. "We're leaving early, though, so I should go pack. Alice, care for a lift home?"

"'Kay," she agreed. "Bye, Bella. See you tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow," Bella agreed.

I drove around the block and parked to give the car to Alice to drive home while I ran back to Bella's. She was cleaning up from their meal when I got there, so I lay down on her bed to wait, enjoying the lingering scent of her that permeated her small room. Only a few minutes later, she told Charlie she was tired and came upstairs. I watched the smile spread across her face when she saw me there and didn't bother to hold back my own when she hastened to join me.

"What time are we meeting with the wolves," she asked, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"In an hour," I said, nuzzling her hair.

"That's good. Jake and his friends need to get some sleep."

I rolled my eyes over her concern for the wolves. "They don't need as much as you do," I teased her.

She looked up to meet my eyes. "Did Alice tell you that she's kidnapping me again?"

I couldn't help but to grin, amused that Bella seemed to have missed the point of Alice's charade for Charlie. "Actually she's not."

Her brow furrowed and I chuckled at her confusion.

"I'm the only one who has permission to hold you hostage, remember? Alice is going hunting with the rest of them." I sighed, trying to ignore the dry ache I was already feeling. "I guess I don't need to do that now."

" _You're_ kidnapping me?" she asked, her eyes widening.

I nodded at her, pleased at the thought of having her all to myself for an entire night. Dry ache or not, I'd trade a night alone with Bella for an entire pride of lions any day.

She continued to stare at me and I heard the rhythm of her heart change.

"Is that alright?" Alice hadn't thought she would mind when she'd relayed her plan to me, but now I worried that she didn't like the idea.

"Well… sure, except for one thing," she said, slowly.

"What thing?" I asked, concerned over her unexpected reluctance.

"Why didn't Alice tell Charlie you were leaving _tonight?"_

I couldn't hold back a relieved laugh. I'd have to scold my sister. She _should_ have told him we were going tonight! Then it wouldn't matter how long we trained tonight, and I could keep Bella with me all the next day.

Everyone was already gathered when Bella and I got to the clearing, including Jacob and two of his pack. The wolves weren't keeping to the shadows of the trees this time. Instead, they sat at the edge of the clearing, which still left us plenty of room to fight. They weren't sitting close together, either, having spaced themselves where they could get a wider view of the clearing from different angles. Their wolf telepathy connected them to the rest of the pack who were patrolling the borders of the town and their reservation.

I watched through the distant wolves' eyes as they ran through the forest surrounding the town, heard the normal sounds of wildlife and the various human noises – cars, televisions, radios – and smelled the scents of nature. I found it strange: now that they were no longer smelling _us_ , smelling the pack's own scent through their senses was pleasant: woodsy, rich, and warm. Jacob, Quil, and Embry's senses, though, were full of our icy burn.

I also experienced my family's familiar impression of the wolves' scent of death, coupled with my own. No longer being observed by the pack, I gave in at last to the desire to rub my nose, pinching the bridge and wiggling it, hoping for some relief from the stinging tickle caused by the conflicting icy, burning, warmed death stench. Catching Jacob looking at me, I desisted. It hadn't helped anyway.

Turning my attention away from the wolves, I watched Jasper and Emmett chasing each other. They were laughing; Emmett was still pleased at my withdrawal and doing his best to at least _tag_ Jasper, even if he couldn't catch him. I grinned, seeing how close he was getting. Once this fight was over, if he wanted to challenge Jasper for the bike again, I thought he might have more of a fair fight on his hands.

Alice and Rosalie were watching, sitting on the opposite side of the clearing from the wolves. They were talking in low voices, teasing each other about their mates prowess. Esme and Carlisle were holding hands and talking not far from my sisters. I skipped out of their minds, giving them what privacy I could. They were indulging in one of their moments that before I had met Bella I would not have understood. I hugged her to my side, grateful for the gift of her love.

"Where are the rest of the wolves?" she asked me, noticing the presence of only the three.

"They don't all need to be here," I explained. "One would do the job, but Sam didn't trust us enough to just send Jacob, though Jacob was willing. Quil and Embry are his usual… I guess you could call them his wingmen."

"Jacob trusts you," she protested.

… _huh, you wish… guess you need me alive for the army at least…_

"He trusts us not to try to kill him. That's about it, though," I said, dryly.

"Are you participating tonight?" she asked, her voice shy and hesitant. I could see the guilt on her face and knew that she felt bad for asking me to let my family fight without me.

"I'll help Jasper when he needs it. He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how to deal with multiple attackers." I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. I didn't want her to worry. Everyone else was radiating confidence – except for Esme, who worried only about losing one of her children. I felt Jasper pushing his assurance into everyone. Confidence in a fight was important. Despite this, I knew that he felt panic flowing off of Bella even as I smelled her adrenaline.

Jacob, too, caught the change in her heart beat and looked over at her. He bared his teeth at her again, but she didn't giggle this time – to my relief. She pressed her lips together and her forehead furrowed into a worried pucker. Leaving his brothers to observe mine, Jacob trotted over to where Bella and I stood.

 _Bloodsucker,_ he acknowledged me.

"Jacob," I said back.

He didn't look at me, though, having eyes only for the girl we both loved. He crouched down to look into her eyes and whined. W _hat's wrong with her? Why's she look so upset?_

"I'm fine," she insisted, interpreting his tone. "Just worried, you know."

_Tell her she's being really stupid. What's there to worry about?_

Unwilling to call Bella stupid when I knew she was anything _but_ , I said, "He wants to know why."

He growled at me. … _not what I said! Now you're being the stupid one..._ _not like_ that's _anything new, though..._

I had to hold back my laugh.

"What?" Bella asked, knowing there had been an exchange between us.

"He thinks my translations leave something to be desired," I explained. "What he actually thought was, 'That's really stupid. What is there to be worried about'?" Which was as close to calling her stupid as I was willing to go. "I edited, because I thought it was rude." I glared at him, but he kept his gaze fixed on Bella and didn't see.

She gave him a half-smile, but her voice trembled when she spoke. "There's plenty to be worried about. Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt."

Jacob's wolf-form gave a barking laugh that sounded sort of like a raspy cough.

… _oh puh-lease! This is going to be nearly as much fun as ripping the Cullens apart would be!_ He pictured what he'd done to Laurent, but with me in the other vampire's place.

I sighed, refusing to translate _that_ for him.

 _Edward, we could use your help over here…_ Jasper thought at me.

"Jasper wants help," I told Bella. "You'll be okay without a translator?"

"I'll manage," she assured me.

… _go on, go on. I'll keep her safe._

I didn't like leaving her with the wolf and wished I dared to at least pull her close for a kiss before I left her to join my family. I kept tabs on Jacob's mind while I walked away. He began to walk back to retake his position, but Bella made no move to join him.

" _Go on without me,"_ I heard her tell him, seating herself on the ground. _"I don't want to watch."_

His thoughts weren't quite coherent for a moment as he wavered between leaving her on the edge of the forest alone to go where he could see better and staying with her. It didn't take long for him to make up his mind and he laid down beside her. I was glad he had, because he'd _said_ he'd keep her safe. If he had left her there, I'd have had one of my family join her – and then a few angry words to say to the mutt.

Tearing myself away from the Jacob's mind, I focused on my family. They were the ones who would be putting themselves at risk, and the least I could do was to help them train. Though none of them were the least bit worried about themselves, they all were worried for each other. Like me, they were more than willing to risk their own lives to protect their loved ones; letting their loved ones risk _their_ lives was something altogether different. Seeing this in their minds, I understood why they were so willing to let me go sit with Bella. Even if they got hurt, they could be put back together again. If Bella were ripped apart, she'd die – and so would I.

Jasper instructed Emmett and I to gang up on him, much like we had when they'd wrestled for ownership of my bike. He showed my family how to evade one attacker while taking another one down. As I had suspected would happen, he beat us both easily.

"Don't get caught up in the moment," he instructed. "You'll lose sight of the bigger picture and become a target. Always be aware of everyone surrounding you. If you focus too closely on one attacker, another can use that. They will not likely have much loyalty to each other – hence the reason their numbers keep dropping – and they will be more than willing to let you dismember a comrade while they sneak up on you. To that end, also remember, never turn your back on your enemy!"

This particular bit of advice was demonstrated as my feet were swept out from under me by Carlisle, who I had _thought_ I had defeated, damn it!

I caught Jasper's smug thoughts. He'd seen what our father was planning, and that I was focused on _him_ , not the vampire laying on the ground behind me. Carlisle stood, laughing at the expression on my face.

"Don't forget that until their heads are destroyed, your enemy is _not_ dead. I've seen newborns who were torn to pieces put themselves back together again and then go and kill the one who thought they'd killed _them_. If you take one down, ripping an arm or leg off, do _not_ leave them without smashing their heads in. Just ripping them off isn't good enough; you must destroy it.

"Conversely, mind _your_ heads! We can put you back together too, if need be, but there are some things we can't recover from."

During a break from attacking my mother, I focused on Jacob's mind. I had been determined not to allow myself to be distracted while helping my family train, but I needed to know that Bella was okay. Attacking Esme had been _hard_ , and I needed to see Bella. Although Jacob was watching us, not her, I was able to tell that she was leaning against him. I felt his pleasure at Bella stroking her fingers down his back, while he rumbled a pleased growl. She was _petting_ him for Pete's sake, running her fingers through his fur.

Feeling my sudden rage, Jasper looked at me, alarmed. I shook my head at him and indicated he should continue with his instructions.

Jasper paired Carlisle and Esme up, having them work as a team while he, Emmett, and I came at them from several sides. I was very pleased to see how well they worked together. Without such a large audience, Rosalie's progress was much better, even if Emmett did have a little too much fun tackling her.

We all ganged up on Alice, and every one of us ended up with her teeth at our throats. I'd nearly had her at one point, but had gotten confused, reaching for where she saw herself about to be, rather than where she was. My hands closed on empty air just as I felt her perch on my shoulders and chuckle in my ear. I shook my head, amazed by my tiny sister.

We were all pleased with the night's training and left the field with confidence in our family's survival of the coming fight. With relief, I rejoined Bella, eager to take her away from Jacob. She leaned into me when I pulled her to her feet, and I didn't even care about the horrid wolf stench, simply grateful that she was in my arms again.

I took Bella home in time for her to make her morning appearance for Charlie. She packed her overnight bags and made arrangements with Angela to receive the concert tickets she'd bought before laying down for a nap – thankfully, after showering Jacob's stench off. I could tell she was still upset and nervous. Despite being tired, she was having a hard time falling asleep, even though she'd spent the past two nights awake, watching my family train.

I tried to reassure her. "Relax, Bella. I told you, this is going to be easy."

"Relax. Sure. No problem," she muttered.

"Jasper knows what he's doing. Remember what he told you? He spent decades training armies. Everyone will be _fine_."

She didn't answer, but I felt her arms tighten around me and her body start to tremble. I pulled away from her and raised myself onto an elbow so I could see her face.

"You need to sleep," I insisted, running my fingers along her cheek.

Her eyes took on a haunted look. "Esme. Carlisle. And Alice. _Alice._ Jasper may have been in an army, but – "

"Bella, love," I interrupted her with a laugh. "Alice could just about defeat the army single-handed. Trust me, please? They'll all be fine."

She nodded, but the look in her eyes didn't change.

Trying a different tactic, I asked, "Could you do something for me, please?"

"Anything."

"For tonight, at least, could you forget about the army? For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me? It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you." I stared into her eyes, begging her with mine to ignore the rest of the world – my family, the army, _Jacob_ – and just be like we were in the beginning: two fools in love.

I watched her eyes melt, losing their hard worry. She smiled and nodded, blushing. Cradling her against me, I smiled as her body finally relaxed into sleep.


	30. Promises

**Promises**

Hours later, Bella bid a goodnight to Charlie and got into her truck after slinging her bag into the back. She drove us to my house and I relaxed into the seat, not caring that I could have _walked_ home faster than she drove. Tonight wasn't about speed. Quite the opposite; it was about slowing down and taking time to just enjoy each other.

Although I was ready to help her find the turn to my house, she spotted the narrow opening on her own, and crept slowly up the long, twisting driveway until she parked in front of the porch. The moment she turned the engine off, I decided a little speed wouldn't hurt and flashed over to open her door for her. I pulled her from the truck, snagging her bag from the bed before kicking the door shut. Happy to be alone with her, I scooped her into my arms, and tilted her up to me so that I could reach her lips.

Never letting my lips leave hers, I carried her into my house. Unlike when she'd been asleep in my arms, opening my front door while holding her was easy with her arms locked around my neck. I stood just inside the brightly lit entryway, holding Bella, kissing her like we were the only two people on Earth. The way I felt at that moment, it could have been true. My family was gone and our house was far from any human inhabited area; the only thoughts in my head were my own.

She was warm, soft, and fragrant. Her body shaped itself around mine, her legs curled around my arm, and her hands roamed over my face, through my hair, and around my back. I found myself making soft murmurs of pleasure at her gentle, willing touch and could happily have stood in the doorway holding her, kissing her for the entire night, but I had other plans that I wanted to put into action.

Eventually, laughing at her enthusiasm, I pulled her away from me, holding her so that I could look into her beautiful face.

"Welcome home," I said, grateful that she was there with me.

Her eyes were sparkling and her heart was racing. "That sounds nice," she answered around panting breaths.

Reluctantly, I set her on her feet, not bothering to hold back my smile when she wrapped her arms around me. Trying to sound casual, I said, "I have something for you."

"Oh?" She arched an eyebrow.

"Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable."

She grimaced, but agreed, "Oh, that's right. I guess I did say that."

I laughed at her tone, but she _had_ agreed. Excited to finally be able to give her a token of my affection, I pressed her. "It's up in my room. Shall I go get it?"

"Sure," she agreed, to my surprise, and twined her fingers in mine as she turned toward the stairs.

Though she seemed happy to walk beside me to my room, I had enjoyed the feeling of her in my arms too much and swept her into my embrace again. Despite my earlier determination to conform to a slow human pace, I was too eager to wait and sprinted up the stairs with her. I set her down by the door, watching for a moment to make sure she had her balance. She started to take a step toward my bed and I tore myself away from her to get my mother's charm.

I'd taken it out of the box where my human family's possessions had been stored and placed the charm in my closet within easy reach, anticipating giving it to her that night. I couldn't hold back my grin at the thought of giving her a gift at last and hurried back into my room. She was still completing her first step in the time it took me to get the charm and return to her. I watched Bella studiously ignore me and head for the large bed. As she climbed into the center and wrapped her arms around her knees, I knew that my grin now was at seeing her on the golden bed sheets.

Finally looking at me, she pursed her lips together, wrinkled her nose, and sighed. "Okay. Let me have it."

I wasn't sure if her reluctance at this point was genuine or a show, because there was a fiery look in her eyes that I couldn't identify, and a determination that I'd never seen in them before. Laughing at her expression, I joined her on the bed, folding my legs so that I could face her.

Her heart began to thump unevenly and I eyed her, wondering if she was about to protest. "A hand-me-down," I reiterated, firmly. I carefully pulled her arm away from her legs so that I could have access to the jewelry the dog had given her. I was glad that he'd at least gotten her a nice bracelet for the charm he'd carved. It was silver, and the small loops were twined in a loose weave. Studying the links carefully, I chose one on the exact opposite side from the wolf's hand-carved figure and secured my gift to her there.

When I released her arm, she examined the new addition, and I nearly laughed at her stunned gasp. It was a heart-shaped diamond, weighing in at just over five carats. If I'd purchased it for her that day, it would've cost more than Alice's Porsche had – a good bit more. Even in the dim lighting of my room, I could see the rainbows on her skin from the sparkles it gave off.

I allowed myself a moment to smirk in satisfaction before schooling my expression into one of indifference. "It was my mother's," I told her, nonchalantly. "I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I've given some to Esme and Alice, both." Well, that part was true, at least, but I continued, lying calmly, "So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way."

Pleased at the look of awe she was still giving it, I explained my gift further. "But I thought it was a good representation. It's hard and cold, and it throws rainbows in the sunlight." No longer able to contain myself, I laughed in delight.

Quietly, her voice shy, she said, "You forget the most important similarity. It's beautiful."

Disagreeing with her a little, I told her what _I_ thought the most important similarity was. "My heart is just as silent, and it, too, is yours."

"Thank you. For both." She moved her wrist, a smile touching her lips as she watched the gem flash and shine.

"No, thank _you._ It's a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you, too," I teased.

Abruptly, she moved, pressing herself against me. She scooted to my side and ducked under my arm to snuggle into my embrace. Delighted by her display of affection, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her as close as I dared, breathing in her unique and powerful scent.

"Can we discuss something? I'd appreciate it if you could _begin_ by being open-minded."

Confused by the change in her heart rate and the nervousness of her tone, I hesitated before answering, "I'll do my best."

"I'm not breaking any rules here. This is strictly about you and me." She paused to clear her throat.

I waited impatiently, wondering what could possibly have her so nervous.

"So… I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would like to apply the same principle to a different situation."

I considered her words for a moment, but couldn't come up with anything Bella might want. Aside from her request to join the fight, there was only one thing she'd ever asked me for, and had stubbornly declined my offers to give her anything else - until the charm I'd just gifted her with. Curious, I pressed her. "What would you like to negotiate?"

She didn't answer immediately, but I read her body as she reacted to whatever was on her mind. Her heart continued to accelerate until it was racing like she was running in fear of her life. And her _scent!_ It was like nothing I'd ever detected before. Not quite adrenaline, but close, her flowery sweetness was growing stronger every second.

"Listen to your heart fly," I teased her. I felt her tremble against me and continued, "It's fluttering like a hummingbird's wings."

She didn't answer.

Concerned, I asked, "Are you alright?"

"I'm great."

"Please go on, then." The suspense was agonizing. She was giving every indication of being terrified, and her fear was affecting me, too.

"Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing."

Taken aback by her description of my proposal, I tried to keep in mind the knowledge that the thought of marriage scared her. "It's only ridiculous to you. What about it?"

"I was wondering… is _that_ open to negotiation?"

I frowned, thinking hard. I was unsure of what direction she was going in, but glad that she was at least willing to discuss the subject that had been on my mind constantly. If she were willing to negotiate… Was she considering saying _yes?!_ A negotiation usually meant something given up and something gained by both parties. What could she possibly want? The only thing I knew of, I'd already agreed to.

"I've already made the largest concession by far and away – I've agreed to take your life away against my better judgement. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part."

"No," she said firmly, shaking her head. "That part's a done deal. We're not discussing my… renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details."

I looked into her eyes, desperately wishing I could read her mind. At that moment, I was wishing Jasper was downstairs so I could at least read her emotions through him! Though her body was still reacting to whatever was on her mind, the only emotions I could read on her serious face was fear.

"Which details do you mean, exactly?"

She bit her lip, apparently unable to answer. "Let's clarify your prerequisites first."

I suppressed a sigh. She always tried to make me give away more than she did. From the start, she'd relentlessly evaded my questions without even trying. Now, she piqued my curiosity – always intense about her already – and then begged _me_ for information!

"You know what I want," I hedged, trying to avoid giving away anything before she did.

" _Matrimony."_ Her mouth twisted.

I nearly laughed at the way her tone made the word almost offensive. "Yes," I agreed, but if she really were willing to negotiate, there were other things I wanted for her, as well - things which she'd refused in the past, but now? I thought I'd try my luck. "To start with."

Shock briefly crossed her face. "There's more?"

I knew my family had had enough of Alaska over the past year – despite the plentiful wildlife - and wondered if it would be possible to make everyone happy all at the same time. Rose, especially, had expressed her desire to move back to New Hampshire. "Well, if you're my wife, then what's mine is yours… like tuition money. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth."

Her mouth pressed into a hard line and her eyes narrowed at me. "Anything else? While you're being absurd?"

She hadn't said no, so I begged her for the other thing I'd really want for her. "I wouldn't mind some _time."_

"No. No time. That's a deal breaker right there."

Looking into her lovely brown eyes, but seeing them a vivid red instead, I couldn't hold back a sigh. "Just a year or two?"

She shook her head vehemently, frowning at me. "Move along to the next one."

"That's it. Unless you'd like to talk cars…" I grinned at her, remembering her creeping pace as she'd driven us to my house.

She wrinkled her nose again, but didn't protest.

I paused, listening to her heart. It still hadn't slowed from the rapid sprint and I took her hand in mine. Carefully stroking my fingers along the lengths of hers, afraid to hope that she really was considering agreeing to marry me, I waited for her to continue.

When she didn't, I pressed her, "I didn't realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I'm extremely curious."

She looked away from me, and I tried to contain my impatience. Her eyes fixed on our hands and she sat in silence, watching me play with her fingers. Against my cool skin, I felt her body temperature rise, and saw the blood swirling to color her cheeks. Astonished, I trailed my fingers along the warmth of her face.

"You're blushing?"

She refused to meet my eyes and remained silent.

"Please, Bella, the suspense is painful." How easily frustrated I was! But I wanted her promise to me like I wanted almost nothing else in the world and Bella's hinted willingness was agonizing.

I watched her bite her lip. What could she possibly want that she would be _this_ afraid to ask of me? I had never denied her anything – except for fighting her on becoming a vampire, and she'd gotten her way on that subject in the end, too.

"Bella," I chided her.

Finally she took a breath and spoke in a low voice, "Well, I'm a little worried… about _after."_

I felt my muscles lock into place. She'd always maintained that she would be able to resist, that we wouldn't let her kill. While, of course we would do everything in our power to prevent her from becoming a killer, much of it would also be up to _her._

Trying to sooth her fears, I kept my voice calm and asked, "What has you worried?"

"All of you just seem _so_ convinced that the only thing I'm going to be interested in, afterward, is slaughtering everyone in town." Her words conjured an image I'd tried desperately to forget: Bella, her eyes red, her hands bloodied, her lips stained scarlet, and a pile of dead bodies at her feet. "And I'm afraid I'll be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won't be _me_ anymore… and that I won't… I won't _want_ you the same way I do now."

"Bella, that part doesn't last forever," I insisted, trying to reassure her. The newborn months were hard, yes, but once she got past those, we would have eternity together.

"Edward, there's something that I want to do before I'm not human anymore," she told me in a whisper. She had yet to meet my eyes, but I could see that she was still blushing bright red.

Confused, I waited, thinking. Whenever I'd tried to get her to experience her _human_ life, she'd mocked or disregarded any of those experiences as unnecessary. She'd called her prom last year a trite human ritual. She'd insisted she wanted nothing to do with her birthday, or any parties. Graduation had been unimportant. She was willing to leave her father, her mother, and all of her friends behind forever, one day to convince them that she was dead. Never once, in all the time I'd known her, had she indicated any interest in human activities.

My curiosity burning as hot as her body against me, I said, "Whatever you want."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes." She looked up to meet my eyes at last, but didn't elaborate, so I assured her once more, "Tell me what you want, and you can have it."

Bella fidgeted in my arms for a moment, apparently unable to speak. Amazingly, her temperature rose again, her body feeling like a furnace against mine. Finally, she forced out one word, "You."

Holding back my laugh, but not my smile, I didn't understand. How often had I assured her that I was hers? That was the whole point of wanting to get married. I wanted her to belong to me as thoroughly as I already belonged to her. "I'm yours."

She broke away from my stare, and I waited, frustrated at being denied the only avenue to her emotions I really had. She took a deep breath, as though to prepare herself for some huge ordeal and moved out of my arms so that she was kneeling in front of me. Her eyes were cast down as she wound her arms around my neck and pressed her lips against mine.

Always glad for any excuse to touch her, I kissed her back, holding her gently against me. I was burning with curiosity. She still hadn't told me what she wanted! Her kiss was strangely fierce. I could hear her trembling breaths, and how fast her heart was racing. She was radiating heat from her blush – which hadn't faded – and I could smell her sweet floral scent grow yet more pronounced. Almost dizzying in its intensity, the sweet freesia and strawberry aroma that surrounded her shifted subtly when she slid her hands down my neck. I could feel her hands trembling as they reached my shirt and began to undo the buttons there.

I was suddenly reminded of another time when her body had burned with embarrassment and questions that she hadn't wanted to ask.

" _You said that Rosalie and Emmett will get married soon…"_ she'd whispered. _"Is that… marriage… the same as it is for humans?"_

When I'd assured her that it was much the same, and then probed for the reason behind her question, she'd said, _"Well, I did wonder… about you and me… someday…"_

Marriage… and humans… and she and I…

I froze, realizing what she was trying to tell me. My body burned with need for her in that instant. I'd wanted her for so long, but knew that real intimacy, beyond our gentle kissing and touching, was far too dangerous. I'd seen it first hand in the mind of the predator I'd killed. I'd seen it in the memories of our cousins in Denali. I knew my strength and how fragile her body was. Though I knew I could never drink her or hurt her on purpose, the fact remained that every second she spent with me was dangerous for her.

At any moment, I could be less careful than I should and accidentally snap her bones. I could hold her face to mine with too much force and crush her skull. I could hug her body too tight against mine and break her spine, or shove her ribs into her lungs, her heart. There were some injuries that even vampire venom could not save her from.

If I tried, if I did what I so desperately wanted, what she was _asking_ me to do, I'd kill her for certain! Forcing myself to break the kiss _now_ , I pushed her away from me.

"Be reasonable, Bella," I said, angrily.

"You promised – whatever I wanted," she insisted.

"We're not having this discussion," I said firmly. I could feel my anger in my eyes as I stared at her. She'd unfastened the top two buttons of my shirt, and – deliberately – I refastened them.

She clenched her teeth with an audible snap. "I say we are." Her eyes now locked on mine, she grabbed her own shirt and forcefully began undoing the buttons there.

Telling myself to be _gentle_ I grabbed her wrists and pulled them away from the shirt she was trying to take off. I placed her arms by her side and, my voice firm, said, "I say we're not."

I was sure that if my heart still beat, it would have been pounding. She wanted me, and I wanted her so very much! But there would be time for that later. We had eternity to be with each other. She – _I_ – would just have to be patient.

She glared at me, the heat from her blush fading. "You wanted to know."

"I thought it would be something faintly realistic."

"So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want – like getting _married_ – but _I'm_ not allowed to even _discuss_ what I – "

I had never been able to resist giving her what she wanted, and her anger now was even harder to resist. Especially as we _both_ wanted what she was asking me for! Not sure how much longer I'd be able to resist her, I transferred her wrists so both were held in one of my hands and put the other over her mouth to stop her words.

"No."

She looked away from me, taking a slow, deep breath, and her blush returned. I heard her heart change again, stuttering and slowing, but the beats coming harder. I felt her mouth twist under my hand, and saw the crease form between her eyes. Trying to understand the change in her body and her expression I watched as she turned her face away from me. I'd made her unhappy! I sighed, wishing with all that I was that I was a normal man.

Moving my hand from her soft mouth, cupping her chin, I tilted her head back up, forcing her eyes to meet mine.

"What now?" I demanded, trying to speak gently.

"Nothing," she lied, trying to pull her face out of my hands.

Unwilling to let her go, to let her hide her eyes from me, I held her in place, searching her face for the reason behind her body's reaction. Seeing the pain there, I realized what it meant. "Did I hurt your feelings?" I asked, aghast.

"No," she lied, again.

Instantly, I pulled her to me, holding her face against my shoulder and stroking the lines of pain on her face with my fingers. I tried to reassure her, insisting, "You know why I have to say no. You know that I want you, too."

"Do you?" Her voice was a low whisper.

"Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl." She never saw herself clearly! I did, though, and I wasn't the only one. Remembering back to her first days, I laughed sourly. Mike had been so certain she'd end up with him. Tyler and Eric, too, had asked her out. Nearly every guy at school had wanted her! Not to mention _Jacob._ "Doesn't everyone? I feel like there's a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake… You're too desirable for your own good."

Disbelieving me, she muttered, "Who's being silly now?"

"Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on the top of that list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you," I said, sourly. It baffled me that she had neither had a boyfriend before me, nor dated anyone when I'd left her.

She shook her head and accused, "You're just trying to distract me. Let's get back to the subject."

Closing my eyes, I sighed, finding it harder and harder to resist giving in, especially with her pressed up against me, and my arms wrapped around her.

"Tell me if I have anything wrong." She moved away from me slightly to better see my face. "Your demands are marriage, paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn't mind if my vehicle went a little faster. Did I get everything? That's a hefty list." She raised her eyebrows and twisted her lips to the side, not quite scowling, but close.

I had to fight not to laugh at her reiteration of my desires. "Only the first is a demand," I corrected her. "The others are merely requests."

"And my lone, solitary little demand is – "

"Demand?" I latched onto the word in shock.

"Yes, demand." Her eyes were hard, and her voice firm. "Getting married is a stretch for me. I'm not giving in unless I get something in return."

I swallowed hard. I wanted her more than anything and I ached to be able to make love to her, to feel her body against mine, to feel the warmth of her smooth skin. Telling myself firmly that it wasn't an option at that point, I leaned close to whisper in her ear, "No." Trying to use my voice to the fullest persuasive potential, I attempted to convince her to give up this fight. "It's not possible now. Later, when you're less breakable. Be patient, Bella."

Her voice was even, but I could detect a note of desperation in it. "But that's the problem. It won't be the _same_ when I'm less breakable. I won't be the same! I don't know _who_ I'll be then."

"You'll still be Bella," I insisted. When we died – or, if Carlisle was right and we weren't dead, when we were _transformed_ – we were frozen as we were at that moment in life. Everything I valued, my likes and dislikes, the essence of who I was then, was exactly who I had been in the last moment of my human life. The same would be true for Bella. It was why I was "old-fashioned." I had never changed with the times, and never would, no matter how many centuries I lived.

She argued further, "If I'm so far gone that I'd want to kill Charlie – that I'd drink Jacob's blood, or Angela's if I got the chance – how can that be true?"

I saw her logic, but vampire instincts wouldn't change her personality. I shook my head, "It will pass. And I doubt you'll want to drink the dog's blood. Even as a newborn, you'll have better taste than that." Trying to lighten the mood, I teased her, not quite faking a shudder of disgust.

Not allowing me to sway her, she demanded, "But that will always be what I want most, won't it? Blood, blood, and more blood!"

"The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true," I pointed out.

"Over eighty years later. What I meant was _physically,_ though. Intellectually, I know I'll be able to be myself… after a while. But just purely physically – I will always be thirsty, more than anything else."

Unable to argue with her, I swallowed past the sudden and intense dry burning in my throat. Her repeated use of the word blood having an effect on me that I couldn't deny.

"So I _will_ be different," she pressed her advantage. "Because right now, physically, there's nothing I want more than you. More than food, or water, or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physically…" My hand was still cupping her face and she moved to kiss my palm.

I stared at her, astonished. What _I_ wanted, more than anything in the world, was her. I didn't _need_ oxygen, food, or water. My body needed blood, but as I had proven to myself during my long months away from her, even that need paled compared to my need for Bella. I had never understood why she loved me, and couldn't understand now how she could want me as much as she did. I should disgust her, but instead, she was telling me the same thing that she had been trying to convince me of all along: that she felt for me as I did for her.

I took a shaky breath, and tried to reason with her, again. "Bella, I could kill you."

"I don't think you could," she disagreed.

Surely she knew how strong I was? Not bothering to look, I reached behind me for the headboard and took hold of one of the flowers that wound itself around the frame. With a quick yank, the iron broke and the flower came away in my hand. Beneath us, the bed jumped from the force I'd had to exert to break the piece off.

Bella looked curiously at the flower when I held it out to her, but didn't touch it. Closing my fist around the metal, I crushed the flower in my hand, feeling it crumble into a million tiny shards of iron. Wordlessly, I opened my fist to show her what I had done to the iron flower – what I could do to _her_. In my palm, the destroyed metal held the shape of the inside of my fist for a mere second before falling into a pile of black dust.

She scowled at me, her eyes turning hard. "That's not what I meant. I already _know_ how strong you are. You didn't have to break the furniture."

"What _did_ you mean, then?" I demanded, tossing the flower's remains against the wall.

"Obviously not that you aren't physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to… More that, you _don't_ want to hurt me… so much so that I don't think you ever could."

I shook my head while she was speaking. I understood – in part – where she was coming from. Bella's death had caused me an agony that I had never imagined existed, an agony that no mortal creature could possibly feel and survive. Everything in me shied away from feeling that way again. It was the reason the monster within me was gone. Drinking her would destroy me, but I didn't have to drink her to kill her.

A vampire's senses were so much more acute than a human's. Our sight was clearer, sharper. From where I sat, I could focus on the individual grains in the wood of the balcony that ran around the outside of my room. I could hear the river, the wind in the trees, and the small woodland creatures that were going about their lives in the forest that surrounded my house. I could smell – even with Bella's powerful scent filling my room – the difference in the materials of her shirt, her jeans, my clothes, the bed sheets, the wood that covered the floors and walls, the cool wetness of the river, and even the rotting of the leaves that littered the forest floor.

Likewise, our sense of touch was enhanced far beyond that of a human's. I could stroke a soap bubble without popping it, or juggle the most delicate glass goblets full of water without spilling a drop. All it took was concentration, a bit of control. However, if I allowed myself to lose focus – for even an instant – I could crush her in my hands.

The flower I'd broken from the headboard was just a small example of the damage I'd already done to our furniture. A few moments of carelessness had led to smashed tables, crushed car doors, pulverized rocks. The tools I'd used in years past had often ended up mangled in my hands until I'd finally found it easier to just use my fingers rather than to try to work with wrenches or screwdrivers. How could I possibly concentrate on _not_ killing her if I got swept away in the pleasure of her love?

I tried desperately _not_ to imagine what it would feel like to explore the secret places of her body, for there to be nothing separating us. Bella's skin on mine was almost painfully pleasurable, and that was just her hand in mine!

"It might not work like that, Bella."

" _Might,"_ she scoffed. "You have no more idea what you're talking about than I do."

"Exactly," I said firmly. "Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?"

We stared into each other's eyes, not speaking. I looked in vain for some hint of self-preservation, for any kind of fear. There was none. She was just as determined now as when she had started this conversation. All I could see in her eyes was love and longing. There was no mask in place now, she was being totally honest and open with me, and despite my arguments, she still wanted me.

"Please," she whispered. "It's all I want. Please." She closed her eyes, cutting off my view of the pain my rejection was causing her.

No matter what I did I would hurt her. I had hurt her at every turn. Every time I had tried to protect her from me, I had hurt her worse. Now, she was begging me to make love to her, and in saying no, in trying to save her from what I might do to her, I was hurting her, again. I felt Bella's pain like a knife running through me. She had never rejected me, not once. Even in not giving me the yes I sought, she wouldn't say no. I had rejected her over and over, yet she still came back to me.

When I didn't answer, she opened her eyes, and I saw a glimmer of hope within them. "Please?" she begged again. Her heart began to speed up even faster than when she'd first tried to voice her request. She spoke in a rush, "You don't have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn't work out right, well, then that's that. Just let us _try_ … only try. And I'll give you what you want."

With every argument that she made, every plea for me to give in, I wanted her more. I stared at her, unable to answer, holding myself rigid so as not to give in, when she spoke the three most beautiful words I'd ever heard her say.

"I'll marry you."

A strange joy exploded within me at her words. She'd said she would _marry me._ Like nothing else I'd ever heard her say before, those words swept through me, carrying with them any hope of resisting her. I wanted her to be _mine_ in a way that left no doubt – to her, or anyone else. Though the thought of marriage scared her, she was willing to face that fear, if I would only _try_ to make love to her. How could I possibly say no?

"I'll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won't complain about the bribe to get me in. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just… _please_."

 _Ah, God._ She was offering me everything I'd ever wanted, she was offering me _herself_ , if only I would give her me.

I pulled her against me, trying not to break her. My arms were rigid, fighting the desire to take her right _then._ I put my lips against her ear, smelling her unique scent, feeling the heat radiating off of her, hearing her racing heart. "This is unbearable. So many things I've wanted to give you – and _this_ is what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?"

Her breath caught in her throat, but she pressed, "Then don't refuse."

I couldn't answer.

"Please," she begged again.

"Bella," I groaned against her neck. I found myself kissing her throat, the soft spot just under her ear, and along the line of the large, hot vein that ran up under her jaw. Her racing heart rate increased yet again, becoming frantic. Slowly, trying to control my intense need for her, I turned my face toward hers. Feeling my movement, her mouth sought mine. In the moment our lips met, I knew I had lost.

Why, then, did it feel like I had won?

I pressed my hands to her cheeks, holding her face against mine. She felt my surrender and threw her arms around my neck, kissing me as fiercely as I was kissing her. I felt her sudden increase in temperature as her furnace reignited. Kissing her was like kissing the sun. Her body trembled against mine, and her scent, oh, her _scent!_ Her floral sweetness – enhanced by adrenaline and heat – took on a new dimension. I could smell her lust, could taste the hormones raging through her body.

When she tore her lips from mine, gasping for breath, I returned to her throat, kissing the soft skin there, feeling her hair against my face, her breath in my ear. I didn't stop her this time when I felt her undoing the buttons on my shirt. Wrenching the fabric aside, she ran her hands over my bare chest and I gasped at the electricity that shot through me at her touch.

One hand still cupping her face, my other wrapped itself around her waist, pulling her body up against mine. Bella's body seemed to be singing in her victory and her pulse was a thrumming vibration against my skin. To my dismay, she removed her hands from my chest and I heard a low moan escape me. When I heard her fumbling at the fabric of her shirt, I shifted us onto the bed. My hands clasped her wrists and pinned them to the pillow above her head.

"Bella," I whispered in her ear, "would you _please_ stop trying to take your clothes off?"

"Do you want to do that part?" she asked, breathlessly.

Now that I was fully intending to do as she asked, when the time was right, I found it much easier to resist her. "Not tonight."

"Edward, don't – " she protested, misunderstanding me.

"I'm not saying no," I interrupted her. "I'm just saying _not tonight."_

She lay beside me, while I continued to kiss her jaw and throat. Her breathing slowly returned to normal, and her heart slowed from its sprint to a more even pace.

"Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night," she finally demanded.

Laughing softly in her ear, I teased her, "I wasn't born yesterday. Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing, but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won't go running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am – clearly – much less reluctant to give you what you want." I _wanted_ to make love to her, whereas she did not want to get married. "Therefore… you first," I concluded in triumph.

"I have to marry you first?" she exclaimed.

"That's the deal – take it or leave it. Compromise, remember?" Knowing that her human hormones would help my case, I pulled her against me and kissed her again. I had wanted her for so long, and the knowledge that she would soon be mine was exhilarating. She'd agreed to marry me! I'd never felt so happy in my entire existence, and I told her so in the kiss we shared. Unable to resist my persuasive hands and mouth, she pressed herself against me and kissed me back.

Eventually, I released her mouth – she did need to breathe – and moved back to her throat.

"I think that's a really bad idea," she protested.

Lifting my head briefly to smirk at her, I laughed before returning to kissing her throat. "I'm not surprised you feel that way. You have a one-track mind."

"How did this happen? I thought I was holding my own tonight – for once – and now, all of a sudden – " She stopped herself with a light gasp, unable to say the word.

I couldn't resist saying it for her. "You're engaged."

"Ew! _Please_ don't say that out loud," she groaned.

Raising my head to see her face, I fought to hold back my laugh. "Are you going back on your word?"

Her expression was fierce, but her heart stumbled when our eyes met.

"Are you?" I pressed.

"Ugh! No. I'm not. Are you happy now?"

 _Was I happy?!_ "Exceptionally." Happy didn't come _close._ I felt a grin overtake my face, and nearly laughed when she groaned again.

"Aren't you happy at all?" She didn't get a chance to answer me as I caught her mouth again. Wanting an answer, I released her lips eventually, my eyes searching her face.

"A little bit," she admitted to my delight. "But not about getting married," she countered, quickly.

I couldn't resist kissing her once more, before moving to her ear to laugh, "Do you get the feeling that everything is backward? Traditionally, shouldn't you be arguing my side, and I yours?"

"There isn't much that's traditional about you and me," she said in a sour tone.

"True." Delighting in the knowledge of her promise, I kissed her again and again. Her body reacted to my touch and I felt her temperature climbing again. Unable to resist, she kissed me back, and I felt her hands traveling over me, through my hair, across my cheeks, and along my jaw.

When I released her mouth, I turned my head to kiss the palm of her hand, tracing the creases there up to the thin veins of her wrist, to where I could feel her blood pulse under my lips.

She tried to persuade me, "Look, Edward, I said I would marry you, and I will."

I couldn't hold back the low moan of pleasure those words brought me.

"I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."

"Not funny."

"What I'm saying is this – I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone – how often does that happen? – and you've provided this very large and comfortable bed…" She trailed off, her tone enticing.

"Not tonight," I repeated, firmly.

"Don't you trust me?" Her tone was confused, hurt.

"Of course I do," I murmured against the palm of her hand.

Taking hold of my face this time, she turned me so that I had to meet her eyes. I watched her warily.

She didn't seem to understand my reluctance and asked, "Then what's the problem? It's not like you didn't know you were going to win in the end. You always win," she complained, sourly.

"Just hedging my bets," I evaded.

"There's something else," she concluded, able to see through me as always. "Are _you_ planning to go back on your word?"

"No. I swear to you, we _will_ try. After you marry me," I vowed.

She shook her head with a bleak laugh. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama – twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl's virtue."

She always took the blame upon herself! I glanced at her, embarrassed at her accurate assessment – though she had it backwards – and leaned close to her to kiss her collarbone.

She gasped, "That's it, isn't it? You're trying to protect your virtue!" She covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes sparkling in amusement while she tried to hide her laugh. As if I were virtuous _at all._

"No, silly girl," I grumbled. "I'm trying to protect _yours_. And you're making it shockingly difficult."

"Of all the ridiculous – " she began.

"Let me ask you something," I interrupted. "We've had this discussion before, but humor me. How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?"

"Two," she said fiercely.

"All right. Maybe that's true," I conceded, thinking of what Carlisle had shown me. "Now, there's a world full of dissension about this, but the vast majority seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed." If it were possible that I was still alive, then it was equally possible that I still had my soul, but if I did, it was surely warped by my deeds.

"Vampire rules aren't enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones, too?" she demanded.

"It couldn't hurt. Just in case."

Her eyes didn't leave mine, but they narrowed into an angry glower.

"Now, of course, if might be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul," I tried to explain.

"No, it isn't," she disagreed immediately.

"'Thou shalt not kill' _is_ commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I've killed a lot of people, Bella," I said, darkly, needing to make her see what I was.

"Only the bad ones."

I shrugged, not understanding how she could be so observant to everything but the evil of what I was, of what I'd done, of what I'd _chosen_ to do. "Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn't. But you haven't killed anyone – "

"That _you_ know about."

I ignored her interruption. "And I'm going to do my best to keep you out of temptation's way."

"Okay. But we aren't fighting over committing murder."

"The same principle applies – the only difference is that this is the one area in which I'm just as spotless as you are. Can't I leave one rule unbroken?"

"One?" Her brow furrowed.

"You know that I've stolen, I've lied, I've coveted… my virtue is all I have left." I tried to grin at her.

"I lie all the time," she argued.

"Yes, but you're such a bad lair that it doesn't really count. Nobody believes you," I teased her.

"I really hope you're wrong about that – because otherwise Charlie is about to burst through the door with a loaded gun."

Fighting a laugh, I said, "Charlie is happier when he pretends to swallow your stories. He'd rather lie to himself than look too closely."

"But what did you ever covet?" she cocked her head, curiously. "You have everything."

"I coveted you. I had no right to want you – but I reached out and took you anyway. And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire," I shook my head, feigning shock.

"You can't covet what's already yours."

I fought back a smile at that. She _was_ mine… and she wasn't. Not yet. But she'd promised she _would_ be.

"Besides, I thought it was _my_ virtue you were worried about."

"It is," I assured her. "If it's too late for me… Well, I'll be damned – no pun intended – if I'll let them keep you out, too."

"You can't make me go somewhere you won't be. That's my definition of hell. Anyway, I have an easy solution: let's never die, alright?" She smirked at me.

Forever in Bella's arms sounded like Heaven to me. I grinned, enjoying her teasing tone. "Sounds simple enough. Why didn't I think of that?"

While she scowled at me, my grin widened. I watched her, willing her not to argue with me anymore. Finally, she huffed. "So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're _married."_

"Technically, I can't ever _sleep_ with you."

She rolled her eyes. "Very mature, Edward."

"But, other than that detail, yes, you've got it right."

She eyed me speculatively. "I think you have an ulterior motive."

"Another one?"

"You know this will speed things up," she accused to my amusement.

"There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever… but for that, it's true, your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this point." I inhaled deeply, smelling the very hormones we were discussing and fought back a grin.

"I can't believe I'm going along with this. When I think of Charlie… and Renée! Can you imagine what Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear them gossip now," she moaned.

I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering why what those humans said to each other could possibly matter to her. Let them gossip; Bella would be dead to them soon enough.

Charlie and Renée I knew she would miss and worry over. She'd known for a long time, though, that leaving them was an unavoidable sacrifice becoming a vampire would make necessary. Although the humans knew there was something strange about us, they had never known us as anything other than what we were. Bella would be herself – and she wouldn't. She would look different, sound different, move differently, and her parents couldn't be expected to miss the changes. They would have to believe her to be dead.

I watched Bella grimace and worry her lip, trying to understand her feelings. She'd known being a vampire meant leaving everyone behind; perhaps her objections stemmed from something else. Maybe it was the wedding itself that brought about the look of dread, and – knowing my sister as I did – I thought there was likely to be something to _that_ particular objection.

"It doesn't have to be a big production," I promised her. "I don't need fanfare. You won't have to tell anyone or make any changes. We'll go to Vegas – you can wear old jeans and we'll go to the chapel with the drive-through window," I teased her. The wedding itself didn't matter; it was the end result that I wanted. "I just want it to be official – that you belong to me and _no one else."_ I couldn't hide the ferocity I felt at that thought.

There was a good reason vampire covens rarely included more than two or occasionally three: we were a very territorial species. From our hunting territory to the kill itself, vampires would defend what we considered ours from any perceived threat. Likewise, our mates were _ours._ Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme, and Rosalie and Emmett, all belonged to each other. I was Bella's and no other's. I wanted her to be _mine._

"It couldn't be more official than it already is," she said in a low voice, but until she took my name, I knew that there was at least _one_ person who would never stop trying to take her from me.

As insecure about herself as Bella was, I found it odd that she would not want the security that would come from binding our lives together and murmured,"We'll see about that."

I paused, wondering if she would be accepting of yet another gift. Fighting my excitement – I didn't want to alarm her – I said with just enough indifference, "I suppose you don't want your ring now?"

She swallowed loudly. "You suppose correctly."

I couldn't hold back the laugh her look of near terror gave me. "That's fine. I'll get it on your finger soon enough." She'd promised to marry me. That was the important thing. The rest was just details.

Her eyes widened. "You talk like you already have one," she accused in a high voice.

"I do. Ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness."

"You're unbelievable," she groaned.

I tried once again to fight off my excitement – and failed. "Do you want to see it?"

"No!" Her voice was loud, her face alarmed. As soon as the word was said, she looked sorry and bit her lip. "Unless you really want to show it to me," she allowed.

I heard her teeth grinding, and shrugged. I'd already waited months for her to say yes; I was willing to continue to wait until she was more comfortable with the idea. So long as I had her promise that one day she would wear it, I could pretend patience. "That's alright. It can wait."

"Show me the damn ring, Edward," she demanded.

I narrowed my eyes at her. Her heart was beating unevenly, and I thought she didn't really want it, but was more interested in not hurting my feelings. I wanted her to _want_ to wear it. I shook my head, insisting, "No."

We watched each other, and I tried not to let her see how very much I longed to see my mother's ring on her finger. She raised her hand and brushed her fingertips across my cheeks, letting them trail slowly across my jaw.

"Please? Please can I see it?"

Bella's gentle touch erased any thoughts I entertained of denying her. "You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met," I grumbled. Fighting back my smile, I left her side and went to the table beside my bed where I had stashed her ring in the – what I had thought at the time – vain hope that I could get her yes that night. Climbing back onto the bed, I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and placed the black satin-covered box on her knee.

"Go ahead and look, then."

She trailed shaking fingers across the box, but didn't pick it up. "You didn't spend a _lot_ of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did."

Laughing, I assured her, "I didn't spend anything. It's just another hand-me-down. This is the ring my father gave to my mother." It was difficult keeping up the tone of nonchalance while explaining the meaning the ring had for me.

"Oh." Her tone of surprise had a happy edge to it. I could hear the stuttering of her heart, though, while she played with the lid, unable to open it, yet.

"I suppose it's a little outdated, old-fashioned, just like me," I said, thinking of the styles I'd seen in stores and on fingers – including my sisters' – in recent years. The ring was an antique, but then, I was, too. When she didn't move to open it, I offered, "I can get you something more modern. Something from Tiffany's?"

"I like old-fashioned things," she assured me and finally opened the box.

Like the heart that dangled from Bella's wrist, my mother's ring immediately caught the light, and the long, oval diamond in the center shone with unrestrained brilliance. The center diamond was circled by many smaller, round diamonds, each one woven into the ring with a gold lace. My father had had it made for my mother specially, and it's worth was on par with the charm I'd already given her.

Bella's eyes widened when she saw the ring, and she ran a finger down the long oval face. "It's so _pretty,"_ she said in an awed whisper.

Delighted with her reaction, I confirmed, "Do you like it?"

She gained control over her expression and asked with feigned indifference, "It's beautiful. What's not to like?"

 _Really_ wanting to see it on her finger, I laughed at her contrived tone. "See if it fits."

She clenched her fist shut and bit her lip, an expression of almost pain crossing her face.

"Bella," I chided, "I'm not going to solder it to your finger." _Yet,_ I amended to myself. "Just try it on so I can see if it needs to be sized. Then you can take it right off."

"Fine," she agreed, grudgingly.

She reached for the ring, but I wanted to be the one to place it on her hand. Trying to hold back my delighted smile, I could feel my excitement sweeping through me in waves of fiery tingles. Gently taking her left hand in mine, I slid my mother's ring onto Bella's finger. It slid into place like it had been made for her, coming to rest against the soft cream of her skin, the gold and diamonds made all the more lovely because of the hand that the ring graced.

"A perfect fit," I murmured. Then, trying to regain my tone of nonchalance, said, "That's nice – saves me a trip to the jeweler's."

She met my eyes, a look of curiosity on her face. Reading my emotions, able to see through me no matter how hard I tried to hide it, she said, "You like that, don't you?"

I caught the flash and looked back at her hand to watch her flutter her fingers. Seeing the light dance and sparkle in the gems, I shrugged, attempting indifference once more. "Sure. It looks very nice on you."

I met her eyes again and lost my hold on indifferent _._ I watched _my_ Bella, my _fiancé_ , and couldn't stop the grin that spread over my face. Her breathing stopped, her eyes dilated, and her heart began to pound. Unable to help myself, I caught her mouth with mine, kissing her with more joy than I thought a creature should be able to feel and live. How I wasn't exploding with the happiness that filled me in that moment, I didn't know.

Panting like I needed oxygen, too, I finally released her lips and whispered into her ear, "Yes, I like it. You have _no_ idea."

"I believe you," she gasped, as breathless as I was.

There was only one thing that could have made the night more perfect. Since she'd been willing to go along with me, so far, I thought I'd push my luck. Holding her carefully, I whispered, "Do you mind if I do something?"

"Anything you want," she agreed, easily.

I released her and stood from the bed.

"Anything but that," she amended.

I pulled her to her feet, placed my hands on her shoulders and looked into her melted chocolate eyes. When I'd proposed to her the night I'd returned, it hadn't been proper at all. Though she'd _agreed_ to marry me, and was wearing my mother's ring, it still didn't feel quite official.

I swallowed hard, willing her to cooperate. "Now, I want to do this right. Please, _please,_ keep in mind that you've already agreed to this, and don't ruin it for me."

"Oh, no," she gasped in low whisper, realizing what I was about.

Slowly, I lowered myself to one knee in front of her and took her left hand – the hand with my mother's ring – in mine. "Be nice," I glared, playfully.

She took a trembling breath and held it, waiting.

"Isabella Swan?" I looked into her deep brown eyes, feeling my own shining with all of the love and happiness I felt for her in that moment. "I promise to love you forever – every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

My whole being was focused on reading her unconscious reactions. I watched the blush color her cheeks, smelled her perfect floral scent, heard her fluttering heart as well as her trembling breaths when she began to breathe again. She blinked a few times and a smile played across her lips.

I saw her nod just before she whispered the single word I'd been longing to hear. "Yes."

I sighed in pleasure. "Thank you." One by one, I kissed her fingertips before pressing my lips against the ring that was my mother's no longer. Bella's ring, where it sat on her slender finger, was a visible token of her acceptance of my proposal, tangible proof of her yes.


	31. Trails

**Trails**

I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I wanted to run through the streets announcing it for all the world to hear. I wanted to sprint to the forest to find my family so that I could tell them. Bella said yes. _Yes!_ She had agreed to marry me! If it weren't for the army on the way, I'd have packed her into my car and driven to Vegas that very moment, but I knew that I had to be patient. We had vampires to kill before I could get on with living my life.

Resisting Bella's advances before had been difficult. Despite how much I wanted her, I hadn't believed it to be possible, and knowing it would never happen had made me want her all that much more. Now, though, now that I fully intended to make love to her, I found it easier to keep my desires in check. As we kissed, I kept the fiery need for her under control, and only gently held her against me. When she asked me to put on some music, I dragged her back downstairs so that I could play for her myself instead. My fingers flew across the keys, and I knew that if she had any doubts about my happiness, they would have been dispelled by the ringing notes. After a few songs, the touch of the piano no longer satisfied me, and I pulled her to me again. We spent much of the rest of our night together kissing and laughing breathlessly. It was a rare treat for us to just enjoying being together.

Eventually, I let her sleep, but I didn't let her go. She lay in my arms in my large bed while I played with her fingers, touching the ring there again and again. I had promised I'd only wanted to see if it fit, and thought she'd probably take it off in the morning, but I didn't care – much. Like the wedding itself, the ring was a detail. Her yes was what mattered. Her _I do_ was what mattered. No matter how much I liked having it there, she needed time to get used to the idea, and when she was ready, it would grace her finger again.

I thought of all that she had promised to me that night. Dartmouth! A new car, too. I grinned, thinking of all the possibilities. Holding back a laugh, I thought of what Emmett's reaction would be when I bought Bella a car. He still didn't have his new truck.

I watched the sun rise, remembering all my lonely years in this room or one like it. Though the sun itself hadn't changed, this morning everything looked different. Brighter. And windier. There was a major storm brewing and the wind was whipping the fallen leaves and needles into miniature tornadoes.

When she woke, the morning was well underway, but the promised storm was not yet blocking the sun from shining brightly through my wall of glass. I left her to her morning routine, chuckling at her stubbornness as I placed the satin box by her bag of toiletries, and went downstairs to wait. Unsure what she'd like for breakfast, I'd had Esme stock up on all of her favorites: cereal, those disgusting plastic-smelling pastries she liked so much, granola bars, as well as groceries to make a more traditional breakfast for her.

Bella was still eating her cereal when I heard my family's thoughts and excused myself to go greet them. Alice and Jasper were in her Porsche, while Rose, Emmett, and Esme rode with Carlisle in his Mercedes. I saw Alice scowling at me as she turned her car off, but Jasper was chuckling when he got out. He gave me a curious look, unsure why I was so happy, but unable to stop himself from reacting to the emotions I was all but bursting with.

I pulled Esme from the car, hugging her and spinning her around in circles. Unused to me showing such exuberance, she was giggling breathlessly when I set her down. "Edward, _what_ has gotten into you?"

I glanced at Alice, certain she must have seen. "You didn't tell them?"

"No," she snarled at me.

Ignoring Alice's bad mood, I grinned at my family and announced, "She said yes! Bella agreed to marry me! _She said yes!"_

I hugged my mother again while everybody except Alice gathered around to express their happiness for me. I was buffeted and hugged, and even Rosalie gave me a peck on the cheek as she murmured her congratulations.

"Don't _say_ anything, though," I begged them. "You know how she gets when people make a fuss over her."

"Yes," Alice grumbled. "Because nobody fusses over a bride. Certainly, a wedding's not a big deal or _anything."_

 _"Alice,"_ I warned her with a growl.

"Fine!" she yelled. "I'll just take this up with Bella."

"Don't you dare! It was hard enough to get her to agree to marry me at all, and then only because I promised we would keep it simple."

"I can do simple!" she begged me with her hands clasped under her pointed chin. My pixie sister's eyes grew wide and her lips thrust into a pout. "Please, Edward? Have a wedding? A real wedding? Even if it's a small one? Don't go to Vegas, _please?"_

"Vegas," Esme gasped, disapprovingly. "Edward, you're not going to get married in Las Vegas, are you?"

"Yes," I said firmly.

"You know that's not what you really want!" Alice argued. "I know you'd rather have a real wedding with a cake and flowers and guests and – "

I cut her off, "What I _want_ , is for Bella to marry me. And this is how _she_ wants it. So leave it alone!"

"Alice." Carlisle's voice was steady, but still easily conveyed his warning.

"This is so unfair!" She stomped away toward the house, muttering insults at me under her breath.

"Imagine: my little brother, a married man." Emmett grabbed me in a rough hug about my neck which I squirmed out of as I saw his plans to vigorously tousle my hair.

"Get off me, Em!" I laughed, shoving him.

He sank into a crouch and we circled each other, growling fiercely. I saw Jasper and Carlisle exchange a glance and tried to slip out of their reach, but the three of them ganged up on me. Trying unsuccessfully to bat them away, I felt my hair mussed and my scalp rubbed by three sets of knuckles.

"Alright, alright!" I said as I thrust myself out of their grasps.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, but I could see her fighting a laugh as she headed for the garage door. Esme was smirking with amusement as she watched me scowl unconvincingly at my chuckling father and brothers. In an attempt to regain my dignity, I ran my fingers through my hair and brushed at my rumpled clothes before striding back toward the house. I returned to the kitchen as Bella was washing her bowl and listened to my family discussing their plans for the next day. They were all in good spirits – except for Alice – buoyed by my good news and a very successful hunt.

… _five grizzlies!_ Emmett boasted.

Alice joined Bella and I in the kitchen, narrowing her eyes at me. "I _think_ that you're going to want to pack for cold weather, Edward." _…not that you care about my opinion, but…_ "I can't see where you are exactly, because you're taking off with that _dog_ this afternoon. But the storm that's coming seems particularly bad in that general area. It's going to snow on the mountains."

"Ew, snow," Bella complained under her breath.

Alice turned her glare onto Bella. "Wear a jacket," she all but snarled at her and stomped away. _…just not fair! …know how I love parties… not even_ invited _…_

I was fighting back my laugh when Bella looked questioningly at me.

"Come on, lets pack," I escorted Bella to the garage where our camping supplies were stored. I chose a heavy sleeping bag, a tent and the tools I'd require to secure it to the rocks, a thick ground cover, several travel food packs - Esme had ended up getting some of the strange dried food from Newton's Outfitters the last time she went into town – and secured it all into a backpack, glad our use of props while we hunted meant we were fully supplied for a human's needs.

While I was packing, Alice joined us, staring at me. I refused to look at her, knowing she was trying to use her saddest eyes to persuade me. She eventually gave up on that effort, and began a new attack.

… _know what Esme is going to say when she finds out that none of us are invited? Think about Bella's parents, too! Charlie will_ never _forgive you if you elope…_

Ignoring Alice's pleas, I handed my phone to Bella. "Why don't you call Jacob and tell him we'll be ready for him in an hour or so. He knows where to meet us."

Using Bella's distraction, Alice grabbed me and forced me to look her in the eyes.

… _Carlisle and Esme were already married, Emmett and Rose, too! You're the only one whose wedding I can be a part of, and you're excluding me?_

Under my breath, so that Bella couldn't hear, I argued with her. "Rosalie and Emmett get married almost every time we move."

 _Fake weddings!_ She scoffed. _A display for the humans and Rosalie's vanity. This is real. And huge! I can't believe you'd make your family miss seeing you and Bella get married!_

"This isn't _about_ them," I growled.

 _Yes it is! A marriage means a new member of the_ family. _How can you say it's not about us?_

"Bella will be a member of this family no matter what kind of ceremony we have."

_I know you think you're giving her what she wants by going to Vegas, but you're wrong. Maybe not this year, but soon, Bella will regret not doing things the right way. Her parents should be involved, and so should yours!_

I frowned at her. She was right, of course. Our families _should_ see us get married. Especially Charlie and Renée. But if I insisted on a traditional wedding, I'd be having one without the bride. I shook my head, my lips pressed firmly together.

"Billy said to tell you 'good luck,'" Bella passed along his message as she handed my phone back to me.

Tearing myself away from Alice's pleading glare, I saw Bella's curious eyes going back and forth between us. "That was generous of him," I said, pleased at his gesture.

Coming to a decision to sudden for me to stop, Alice said, "Bella, could I please speak to you alone?"

"You're about to make my life harder than it needs to be, Alice," I growled at her. "I'd really rather you didn't."

"This isn't about you, Edward," she turned my words around.

"Ha!"

"It's not. This is a female thing."

"Let her talk to me," Bella offered.

I studied her face for a moment, saw her curiosity, and decided to let Alice have her way. If she could talk Bella into having the wedding Alice wanted, well, at least Bella would be angry at _Alice_ for the end result, and not me.

"You asked for it," I muttered with a laugh, and left the garage. I didn't go far, though, just outside the door where I leaned against the wall of the garage, watching and listening through Alice's mind.

Alice perched on the hood of her Porsche, putting on her saddest possible face. I had to laugh at the lengths to which Alice would go in order to throw a party of any kind. Bella leaned against the Porsche beside Alice, but since she wasn't looking at Bella, I couldn't see what Bella's expression was.

" _Bella?"_ she said in a low, pitiful voice. Using all of her vampire charms, she pressed herself against Bella's side.

Bella wrapped an arm around my sister's shoulders. _"What's wrong, Alice?"_

" _Don't you love me?"_

" _Of course I do. You know that."_ Bella sounded confused.

Keeping up her pretense of dejection, Alice mumbled, _"Then why do I see you sneaking off to Vegas to get married without inviting me?"_

I wished she would look at Bella, so I could see her expression! From where she was pressed against my sister, I could tell Alice felt the rise in her body temperature and knew she was blushing.

" _Oh. You know how I hate to make a big deal out of things. It was Edward's idea anyway."_

" _I don't care whose idea it was."_ Alice's voice lost some of its sadness and took on a hard, angry edge. _"How could_ you _do this to me? I expect that kind of thing from_ Edward _," …jerk… "but not from you. I love you like you were my own sister."_

" _To me, Alice, you are my sister."_ Bella's tone was consoling, pleading.

" _Words!"_  Alice gestured angrily.

Bella sighed. _"Fine, you can come. There won't be much to see."_

Alice looked at Bella at last, and I saw two bright spots of red on her cheeks, evidence of her anger and chagrin. Alice was far from consoled. She didn't want to _watch_ the wedding – especially not from the backseat when we went through the drive-through. She wanted to _plan_ the wedding.

" _What?"_   Bella demanded.

" _How_ much _do you love me, Bella?"_

Bella's eyes narrowed, suspiciously. _"Why?"_   She drew the word out, apparently nervous about Alice's motives.

" _Please, please, please,"_ Alice whispered. Her tone was so sad and persuasive _I_ almost gave in to her. _"Please, Bella, please – if you really love me… Please let me do your wedding."_

" _Aw, Alice!"_   Bella pushed herself away from the canary yellow Porsche where she had been leaning and groaned, _"No! Don't do this to me."_

" _If you really, truly love me, Bella."_ Alice folded her hands together and placed them under her chin.

Bella crossed her arms, defensively. _"That is_ so _unfair. And Edward kind of already used that one on me,"_ she grumped.

" _I'll bet Edward would like it better if you did this traditionally, though he'd never tell you that. And Esme – think what it would mean to her!"_   I smirked and shook my head. Alice was relentless.

Bella groaned again. _"I'd rather face the newborns alone."_

" _I'll owe you for a decade,"_ Alice begged once more.

" _You'll owe me for a century!"_  Bella exclaimed.

I felt the excitement in Alice as the Vegas future suddenly vanished. She gasped, _"Is that a yes?"_

" _No! I don't want to_ do _this!"_ Bella balled her hands into fists at her side, trying to resist Alice's pleas.

" _You won't have to do anything but walk a few yards and then repeat after the minister,"_ she assured her.

" _Ugh! Ugh, ugh!"_

" _Please? Please, please, please, please, please?"_ Alice was bouncing in place, radiating excitement.

Bella's voice was full of fury. _"I'll never, never ever forgive you for this, Alice."_

" _Yay!"_ Alice squealed, clapping her hands together and jumping up and down.

" _That's_ not _a yes!"_ Bella protested.

" _But it will be,"_ Alice crowed, delighted.

"Edward!" Bella yelled my name in fury. _"I know you're listening. Get over here."_

Worried, I streaked into the garage, coming up behind Bella to stand beside Alice who was still clapping in her victory.

"Thanks so much, Alice," I growled at her.

Bella whirled to face me. Her cheeks were still bright red and there were tears in her eyes. Her expression was furious, but before I could say anything, she threw herself into my arms.

No matter what Alice said, if it made her this upset, we would do things the way Bella wanted. "Vegas," I whispered in her ear, letting her know I was still open to that option.

"Not a chance," Alice disagreed, smugly. "Bella would never do that to me. You know, Edward, as a brother, you are sometimes a disappointment."

"Don't be mean," Bella defended me. "He's trying to make me happy, unlike you."

"I'm trying to make you happy, too, Bella," Alice disagreed. "It's just that I know better what will make you happy… in the long run. You'll thank me for this. Maybe not for fifty years, but definitely someday."

"I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be willing to take a bet against you, Alice, but it has arrived."

Alice's trilling laugh filled the garage. Before I could stop her, she grabbed Bella's hand. "So are you going to show me the ring?" Not finding it there, Alice dropped Bella's hand in confusion. "Huh. I saw him put it on you… Did I miss something?"

I watched in her mind as I slipped my mother's ring onto Bella's slender finger. Quickly, she searched the future and saw a blurry image of Bella and I in front of an altar. Knowing that I would be watching, she forced the image away as quickly as it had come, not wanting me to see any details. A groom wasn't supposed to see his bride in her wedding dress before the day, after all.

Trying to hide my grin – I had really liked that brief image, blurry though it had been – I explained the absence of the ring. "Bella has issues with jewelry."

Alice rolled her eyes. _That's silly._ "What's one more diamond? Well, I guess the ring has lots of diamonds, but my point is that he's already got one on – "

Furious, I snarled at her, "Enough Alice!" I was sure Bella's easy acceptance of the charm was because she hadn't really realized what I'd given her. Trying to distract Bella from making the connection, I changed the subject. "We're in a hurry."

"I don't understand," Bella looked at me with bewildered eyes. "What's that about diamonds?"

Reading my glare, Alice finally agreed that _now_ was not the time. "We'll talk about it later. Edward is right – you'd better get going. You've got to set a trap and make camp before the storm comes." She met my eyes, a worried frown crossing her pixie face. I saw her vision of the coming night. Though she was unable to see _us_ due to the presence of the wolf, she could see the general weather pattern that would cover the area we would be in. "Don't forget your coat, Bella. It seems… unseasonably cold."

"I've already got it." Though she had lived here for over a year, Bella was from Phoenix, and her inner warmth reflected the town she had grown up in. I knew that the mountain would be cold to her, even without a storm, and packed everything I thought she would need in order to stay warm.

Now that the date was closer, the future had firmed, and Alice was able to pinpoint the most likely of the newborns' paths. Before we left, Alice showed me in detail where she saw them approaching Forks. Eighteen red eyed monsters were running through a part of the forest that I recognized. All of them were newborns with bright red eyes and a feral, hungry look on their faces. One of them still held Bella's red shirt. They were definitely hunting, and when they came across Bella's scent, would be drawn to exactly where we wanted them to go.

I strapped on the bulky backpack and scooped Bella into my arms, taking off in the general direction of the clearing, but I didn't run straight there. I didn't want to take any chances that a newborn would come across my path and be diverted from where my family would be waiting. I also ran far from the path that I knew Jacob would be taking. Jacob's scent would hide Bella's from the newborn's senses. _Mine_ would not.

When we finally got to the clearing, I told Bella what Jasper had wanted her to do. "All right. Just walk north for a ways, touching as much as you can. Alice gave me a clear picture of their path, and it won't take long for us to intercept it."

Her brow furrowed and she glanced around. "North?" I held back a smile and pointed in the direction she needed to go. Our scent was already around the clearing due to our nights of practice, but I didn't want mine to mingle directly with hers, so I separated myself from her, keeping several yards between us, while I kept pace with her.

Bella ran her fingers over everything she could reach - the trees, the leaves, the exposed roots she climbed over, the large boulders that were scattered through the mountain forest. Though the approaching storm was already sending a stiff wind through the treetops, closer to the forest floor the bulk of the trees blocked most of the wind. I wasn't worried about her scent losing its potency. Even if it rained, there was no way her powerful scent could even be diluted.

The previous year, only a few days before saving her from the men in Port Angeles, I'd followed her trail in the woods around her house. It had been several days old by that time, and I'd been there after it had rained more than once. Still, I'd known every place she'd touched, as well as exactly where she'd sat on a fallen log. I had no doubt the newborns would be able to follow her to our clearing.

"Am I doing this right?" she asked, doubtfully.

"Perfectly," I assured her.

"Will this help?" She ran her fingers through her hair and several loose strands came away in her fingers. I could smell her scent swirling from where I stood, just by the motion of her hands in her hair. She draped the loose strands over a nearby fern.

"Yes, that does make the trail stronger. But you don't need to pull your hair out, Bella. It will be fine." As potent as Bella's scent was, I thought that if she merely walked through the forest, it would be strong enough. Adding pieces of herself in addition to touching everything would have the newborns' attention for certain.

"I've got a few extras I can spare," she assured me.

We walked a little further while she tucked individual pieces of hair into broken branches and wound them around leaves from the overhanging trees. I watched every step she took, knowing we would need to follow her path back exactly. Bella was worrying her bottom lip while she walked, and I was concerned that she was remembering what Alice had talked her into. I knew Bella hated parties, and a wedding – especially an _Alice_ planned wedding – promised to be a much larger party than I thought even Bella was prepared for.

I had stood beside my brothers and my father at their weddings and had longed for a future that I hadn't believed possible at the time: a wedding of my own. Despite the love of my family, I had been alone for nearly a century, and had thought myself forever doomed to bachelorhood. I found it hard to believe, still, that I had gotten so lucky as to find someone like Bella. To find her, and even more, to win her love.

Even if I was not dead, even if I was not a soulless monster, I was still a monster, a killer. No amount of persuasive arguments from Carlisle could ever change that fact. I had killed before, at least a thousand men, and I had wanted to kill _her._ Bella was such a gentle and kind person, but even with her apparently endless ability to forgive, I couldn't understand how she could forgive _that._ Yet she had. Not only hd she forgiven me, she had pledged herself to me. While I would love to have a ceremony that included all of my family, my cousins, Bella's family, and her friends, what I _really_ wanted was what it symbolized: that Bella was _mine._

"You don't need to let Alice have her way, you know," I tried to assure her. I wanted her to look forward to our future together, and to look back on the day with pleasure, not dread.

"Don't worry about it, Edward," Bella said with a sigh. "I'm not going to leave you at the altar."

"That's not what I'm worried about. I want this to be what you want it to be."

I heard her sigh again, and knew that she didn't really _want_ a wedding at all.

"Well," I teased her, "even if she does get her way, we can keep it small. Just us. Emmett can get a clerical license off the Internet."

This earned a giggle from her, at last. "That does sound better."

"See? There's always a compromise." I grinned in triumph, trying to remind her of why she had agreed to the compromise in the first place, and what it would mean.

She eventually reached the place where Alice had shown me and I had Bella turn around and retrace her steps. Her human senses weren't able to tell exactly where her path had taken her before, but whenever she started to deviate, I would steer her back to the right course. Mostly it was a matter of going right around a certain tree instead of left, but she was able to keep in the correct direction for the most part.

… _picked a worse night for this… gonna be bad… taking so long? …bet he didn't even bring her a jacket… no night for campfires and marshmallows…_

Bella's familiarity with the path made our return faster and we were almost back at the clearing when she tripped, her hands splayed out in front of her to catch herself.

"Ouch! Oh, fabulous," she muttered.

Distracted by Jacob's approaching thoughts, I didn't see her stumble in time to prevent her from injuring herself and was suddenly assaulted by the powerful scent of her blood, filling the forest air. Stupidly, I inhaled in shock and fear. It was one thing to no longer want to drink her when her skin was intact. This was the first time since our return that I'd been confronted with her flowing blood, and I was, for a moment, afraid that I wasn't in control of myself like I thought I was.

She smelled _delicious._ As soon as that fact registered, though, I was aware that the only desire to go to her that I had stemmed from my need to protect her, to make sure she wasn't severely injured.

Relieved, I asked, "Are you alright?" I hesitated to go to her for another instant, considering the newborns following her trail and what effect my scent mixing with hers might have on them.

"I'm fine. Stay where you are. I'm bleeding. It will stop in a minute." She sat up, clenching her fist over the cut as she spoke. I decided my own scent was already thoroughly saturating the area, and smelling my scent directly mixed with her _blood,_ would kick their territorial need to defend their kill into overdrive, making them reckless. I was at her side before she finished speaking. Squatting down beside where she sat, I pulled my backpack off.

"I've got a first aid kit. I had a feeling I might need it," I teased her.

"It's not bad," she demurred, never one to allow herself to be taken care of. "I can take care of it – you don't have to make yourself uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable," I insisted, trying to take her hand. "Here – let me clean it." I knew how squeamish she was and didn't want her to faint.

"Wait a second, I just got another idea." She pressed her injured hand against a nearby boulder and stood up.

"What are you doing?"

"Jasper will _love_ this." She began to walk back toward the clearing, running her hand over every surface as she had before. This time, though, she wasn't just leaving her scent, she was leaving traces of her blood. "I'll be this really gets them going."

I narrowed my eyes and sighed.

"Hold your breath," she instructed me.

"I'm fine. I just think you're going overboard."

"This is all I get to do. I want to do a good job," she insisted.

Following her, I could tell every place where even a single drop of her blood had fallen, and was careful not to disturb any of it. I closed my eyes, inhaled slowly, and could easily visualize her trail just from the strength of her scent. She reached the edge of the clearing, still smearing her bloody hand over everything.

"Well you have," I assured her. "The newborns will be frantic, and Jasper will be very impressed with your dedication. Now let me treat your hand – you've gotten the cut dirty." I could smell the forest on her, could detect the clotting of the blood around bits of dirt and wood. I reached for her, but she pulled her hand away.

"Let me do it, please." I could tell she wasn't afraid of me, there was no fear in her voice or her eyes. She was concerned for me. I smiled at her and took her hand firmly.

"This doesn't bother me anymore."

I had the first aid kit opened, with some gauze and sterile water in hand. Carefully, I rinsed the dried blood and dirt away, wiping the edges dry gently before applying an antiseptic. I inspected the cut closely, checking for any imbedded bits of wood or dirt, and removed the tiny splinters I found. I continued to pull her scent in, tasting the difference when the cut was clean, and smiled at the pleasure being able to detect those minor changes gave to me. I felt like a chef, making subtle changes to a recipe, substituting this herb for that one, and noting the improvement of the new recipe. I nearly laughed, for she did smell _very_ good, but I wasn't about to dine on her.

"Why not?" she eventually asked when I applied the bandage to keep her cut protected and cleaned.

"I got over it," I shrugged, indifferently.

"You… _got over it?_ When? How?"

I met her astonished eyes and frowned, thinking. I didn't want her to feel bad for what had happened, but I wasn't sure how to explain without telling her how much pain her death had caused me.

"I lived through an entire twenty-four hours thinking that you were dead, Bella. That changed the way I look at a lot of things."

She considered my words before asking, in a very quiet voice, "Did it change the way I smell to you?"

"Not at all." Definitely not! I was very aware of her bleeding in front of me. "But… having experienced the way it feels to think I've lost you… my reactions have changed. My entire being shies away from any course that could inspire that kind of pain again," I explained, gently. I watched her eyes, saw the pain she felt for me and smiled. "I guess you could call it a very educational experience."

I waited, but she seemed at a loss for words, and when I saw her shiver from the force of the wind, I retrieved her heavy jacket from the backpack, returning the first aid kit to its former home before shouldering the bulky pack again.

"All right. You've done your part. Now it's out of our hands." I held the jacket for her to slide her arms into and, deciding she'd had enough seriousness, made my tone overly enthusiastic. "Let's go camping!" Her laughter was delightful, and I was glad that she seemed to appreciate my playful attempt. Bella was far from an avid camper, and this night was not likely to be pleasant for many reasons. Not the least of which was the approaching dog.

Taking her hand in mine, I pulled her across the clearing toward where I could see Jacob just pulling his pants on. I hid my smirk, still amused at how he had to tie his clothes onto his legs before he changed into a wolf or else be forced to go naked once human again. Though he held a jacket in his hand, he didn't seem to need it, and hadn't put it on.

"Where are we meeting Jacob?"

"Right here." I pointed to the forest from where the mutt walked out only a moment later. He crossed his arms, but managed not to scowl at me.

"There had to have been a better way to do this," I muttered.

"Too late now," Bella said, rightly.

Well, I supposed there really _was_ no difference in his stench – whether he was human or wolf, his stink would hide Bella's perfection regardless. I _also_ supposed it was too much to expect Bella to be able to hang on to his wolf form with her broken hand still in its brace. The last thing we needed was for her to fall off and spill yet more blood. With her bad luck, it would happen right where a newborn would find her, I was sure. Still, just because it was the best solution out of those presented didn't mean I liked it.

"Hey, Jake," she said, pleasantly.

"Hi, Bella," he greeted her, sullenly. _…bloodsucker…_

I decided to be polite. "Hello, Jacob."

"Where do I take her?" I gave him the map I'd brought. When he unfolded it, I reached over to show him our current location.

"We're here now." My suddenly close hand caused his wolf to fight against his control, and I saw him jerk away from me, instinctively. Ignoring the mutt's reactions, I traced the path I wanted him to take. "And you're taking her up here. Roughly nine miles."

Jacob nodded his understanding.

"When you're about a mile away, you should cross my path. That will lead you in. Do you need the map?"

"No, thanks." I heard his reluctance to use the term, but for Bella's sake, he was attempting to match my pleasant words, if not my tone. "I know this area pretty well. I think I know where I'm going."

"I'll take a longer route." I turned to see Bella watching me. "And I'll see you in a few hours."

 _Hours._ Hours that she would spend in his arms, pressed against his bare chest. Hours during which I had little doubt that he would try – once again – to win her over to him. Of course, he didn't know that she had pledged herself to me just that night, but that didn't change the feelings I knew she had for him.

"See you," she said softly, and I turned away from my fiancé to start my own run to the campsite.

I sprinted away from the clearing as fast as I could, and within seconds, Jacob's thoughts were out of my range. I was completely at home in this part of the mountain range, having hunted extensively in this area, especially the past few months.

Alice's vision indicated the army would skirt the Olympic mountain range to the north. The clearing was almost directly along the western path they would take. The spot I'd chosen was several miles south and east of the clearing, with a good view of the northern forest for miles. It overlooked the Seven Lakes Basin and, though there were many trees climbing the mountain ridges, the basin itself was quite open. Wanting to keep him as far from the newborn's path as possible, I'd shown Jacob a path that took him between the army's and mine, not trusting to his stench alone to keep the army away.

My route to the Seven Lakes took me even farther south, circling around the Hoh ranger station and forcing me to cross the Hoh river – as well as many tributaries – several times. I was more than capable of leaping over the waterways, but I didn't want Jacob to have to ford any of the rivers with Bella in his arms. The path I'd told Jacob to take should have kept her dry.

Casting an eye toward the wall of clouds while I ran, I arrived my chosen camping spot mere minutes after I'd left Bella with Jacob. Seconds later, I was inspecting the boulders that littered the mountain side, as well as the solid sandstone bedrock protruding from the loose, rocky ground. Alice had said the coming storm would be a bad one, and by the looks of the sky, I had no doubt that – as usual – she would be proven right. The wind was already whipping the tree tops about and if it got worse, the tent would act like a parachute dragging Bella away with the storm, instead of protecting her from it.

To prevent that fate, I would have to secure the tent in such a way that it _couldn't_ be moved. Knowing how windy it already was when we'd left, I'd brought along equipment more commonly used for mountain climbing than camping. Running my fingers over the bedrock, I searched out tiny fissures and cracks that could cause the rock to fail. Much stronger than any power tool, I was able to create my own hole close to the ground in the hard rock with the drill bit I'd brought for that purpose, and blew forcefully into the hole I'd created to clear it of all dust. The hole prepared, I threaded an expansion bolt through a bolt hanger, and pressed it into the face of the mountain.

I only needed my fingers to tap the bolt into the hole I'd made, and then to screw it into place. I felt the metal gripping the inside of the rock as the screw caused the tapered ends of the device to flare outward, providing the friction needed to keep it in place. The hanger the bolt had fit through provided a closed loop onto which I could secure the ropes. I repeated the process in another spot on the mountainside, as well as a few boulders, and where the bedrock was exposed on the ground.

Far more secure than simply driving stakes into the ground, I thought it unlikely that anything short of the mountain's destruction would allow the tent to budge. The site prepared, I laid out and attached the ground cover before erecting the tent and securing it to the mountain. Finally, I covered the tent with a tarp for the added insulation and protection from the wetness of the snow, clipping it, too, to the bolts I'd prepared.

I crawled inside the tent and spread out the thick sleeping bag, leaving the backpack frame propped against the back wall. Although I knew it was bad practice to bring food into a tent, I thought it unlikely that any bear would venture out into the coming storm, and if it did, well, I had no problem with a meal delivering itself to my door. The tent set up, I returned outside to survey the area.

The mountainside had a few trees, but I could easily see past them. The piles of boulders and the steep cliff face to which I'd secured the tent made the area easily defensible. Should any newborn happen to follow Jacob's scent – though I couldn't fathom why they would - I'd be able to see them coming, not to mention hearing their mind. With the mountain at my back, they'd have a hard time getting past me to reach Bella. Though I knew that Alice's vision from the graduation party no longer applied, I was unable to shake the feeling that Bella was still in danger. She was _always_ in danger! I'd been prepared to hide her away and join my family in the fight, but now that the day was upon me, I felt relieved that I would be able to keep Bella in my sights - to _know_ that she was safe.

 _If she would ever get here_ , I grumbled to myself.

The problem with moving so fast was that now I'd have to wait. While I knew that, as a wolf, Jacob could keep pace with almost any vampire, he was in human form and carrying Bella, besides. I couldn't realistically expect him any time soon. I began pacing the site, making sure I was familiar with every tree and rock. I watched the clouds moving closer and gazed over the valley below, searching for any sign the wolf was nearing. I stretched my mind out, listening for his thoughts, or those of any human who might be in the area. Though the clouds were coming closer, I was currently standing in the sunlight, and would need to hide quickly if anyone approached.

Finally realizing that I was going to make myself crazy waiting if I didn't find some way to distract myself, I focused on remembering the previous night. Memories of Bella's "yes" filled my mind. I breathed in and could still smell her sweet scent on my clothes. Closing my eyes to better see her beautiful face in my mind, my skin burned with the memory of her touch, of her hands against my bare chest, and her mouth on mine. I shivered, thinking of the promises we'd made to each other.

Marriage. Not just marriage, but a wedding! A real wedding. How many times had I stood by my family while they said their vows of eternal love to each other, never believing I would one day stand where they stood? I'd always been happy for them – it was hard not to feel pleasure in watching those I loved find happiness – but at the same time, I'd never been able to shake off the jealousy I'd felt.

After living with Rosalie for so long, I knew both what I didn't want in a mate, and what I did. I'd wanted someone who was kind and good, yet strong enough to stand up for herself. Someone who saw the beauty in the world, while not being naive to its harsh realities. Someone who wasn't shallow and self-absorbed, while still being self-sufficient. Yet while I knew what I wanted, I didn't see how anyone like that could possibly want someone like me. I was selfish and manipulative, a liar, and – worst of all – a killer. Though I wanted someone good, _I_ was not good, so how could I expect them to want me?

I shook my head, exasperated. Bella was all that I had ever wanted and more. And she loved me. Even after all that I had done to her, even knowing what I was, and what I had done, she _still_ loved me. Soon, I would be the one waiting at the altar, watching my blushing bride walk down an aisle in a white gown, with all of my family and friends, and _her_ family and friends there to witness our union. I was torn between wanting Alice to make all of the arrangements as quickly as possible, and wanting her to draw it out, knowing that would mean more time Bella would get to be human.

I felt something wet touch me and opened my eyes in surprise. The promised storm had arrived and it was snowing. Concerned, I glanced at the small tent. It was snowing _already_. It wasn't even late afternoon, and cold enough for the falling moisture to be snow instead of the rain I'd expected. Bella radiated heat. Dressed in her warm clothes and wrapped in the heavy sleeping bag I'd brought, her internal warmth should be plenty to keep the cold at bay. At least, I _hoped_ it would be, suddenly feeling nervous. No warmer than the surrounding air myself, I wasn't the best judge of what the air must feel like to a human. But Jacob hadn't even worn a shirt and it didn't seem to bother him at all.

Pacing again, I walked around and around the area, worried that – despite his assurances – Jacob might not be able to find his way to the spot I'd shown him on the map. I wavered back and forth between staying where I was and sprinting down the mountain to trace in reverse the path I'd shown him. Sternly, I told myself not to leave. It hadn't really been long enough for me to expect him to be close, yet, especially since he had to climb the mountains while carrying Bella in his arms.

My head snapped up as a sudden whiff of death hit my senses. Shocked beyond words, I watched Jacob Black sprint around the side of the mountain with Bella curled up in his arms.

"Bella!" I cried in relief, and hurled myself toward them. Jacob came to a halt instantly, and I felt the fire in his bones as he reacted to my sudden appearance at his side. He set Bella onto her feet, and I was unable to stop myself from pulling her body against mine. I felt her warmth surrounding me and smelled the odd combination of her perfect sweetness mixed with the wolf's death stench. Ignoring the latter, I breathed Bella in and met Jacob's wary eyes.

"Thank you. That was quicker than I expected, and I truly appreciate it."

Bella turned from where she was pressed against my chest and looked at Jacob. I saw her face in his mind as their eyes locked. He grimaced and shrugged, glad only that I had the tent set up and Bella would be protected from the storm.

"Get her inside," he growled at me. "This is going to be bad – my hair's standing up on my scalp. Is that tent secure?" _…trust the bloodsucker to bring her all the way up_ here _and let her get blown off the mountain._

"I all but welded it to the rock," I assured him.

"Good." He glanced up at the sky and took his jacket off. I could see that he wasn't kidding; all along his bare arms, the light coating of hairs were standing on end. "I'm going to change. I want to know what's going on back home." He hung the jacket on a low branch and stalked off into the trees.


	32. Fire and Ice

**Fire and Ice**

The unusually cold spring had led to a summer storm like I had never seen before - at least, not in this part of the country. The initial flakes that had swirled down soon gave way to a blizzard. The small tent shook from the wind and every gust seemed to reach right into Bella, shaking her, too. Outside of the tent, the wolf prowled, perfectly protected from the elements by his long, shaggy fur. Despite the thick sleeping bag and heavy jacket she wore, along with the rest of her clothes, Bella's body was raked with shivers.

As soon as the sun set, the temperature had plummeted. The heat of Bella's body, which had always felt searing hot to my skin, wasn't doing anything to warm her up at all. I was crouched in a corner of the tent, as far from her as the small space would allow, watching as she trembled nonstop. I knew that shivering was a reaction to cold, an automatic attempt by the body to warm itself, but she had been shivering for hours and only seemed to be getting colder.

… _have picked a worse night for this… gone to a_ higher _mountain, maybe? …_

I watched through Jacob's mind as he surveyed the storm through narrowed eyes. The wind was blasting him, stinging his nose and eyes, and making his ears ache. However, I knew that these were minor discomforts. His fur protected him from the worst of the elements so that, though he stood completely exposed on top of one of the boulders the tent was anchored to, he was in no trouble.

I'd felt so pleased with the place I'd chosen. It was out of the way, hidden from humans who might stumble across us, high enough to give us a good viewing advantage, and protected by the mountains and trees without hindering visibility. Now though, I wondered if I could have found a worse spot. Seeing the mountain range through Jacob's mind, I didn't really think so. I should have taken her away from the peninsula altogether, and right then, I was wishing with all my might that I had done just that. No matter where I'd hidden her in the Olympic range, she'd have been in danger from this storm.

Bella opened her eyes to peek at me. The tent was so dark, I wasn't sure if her eyes could see me at all, but she knew where I was and directed her gaze toward the corner where I crouched.

"W-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-time is it?"

"Two." All night I had wavered between staying in the shelter of the tent and making a run for it. If we left, it could undo all of our efforts in laying the false trail, but what would that trail matter if Bella died out here? I was fast. Very fast. If I took her home, I could be there in a matter of minutes. However, it was already so very cold and wet, and the wind on its own was fierce. My speed would make the wind only that much worse, and I feared the effect that being directly exposed to the environment would have on her. Bella was no wolf. If we left, she could die from exposure to the elements, no matter how brief. But if we stayed, she could die from the fierce cold.

Right then, the second possibility seemed more likely. I tried once more to persuade her to leave. "Maybe…"

"No," she cut me off, knowing what I was going to suggest. "I'm f-f-f-f-f-fine, r-r-r-really. I don't w-w-w-want to g-go outside."

I didn't believe that she was fine. I knew how she hated to be taken care of or to show weakness, but I _did_ believe that she didn't want to go outside. I had rarely felt so useless. I didn't dare touch her; my icy skin would only chill her even further. At that point, I was even afraid to breathe, certain even that the motion of air from my lungs would make it worse for her. I considered leaving, running home to get something to warm her up, but could think of nothing that would work. Any camping gear we would have was for show. Our gear relied on a person's own body temperature to keep them warm, and was not meant for supplying warmth.

"What can I do?" I knew she didn't have an answer anymore than I did, but I was desperate for some way to help her.

 _This cold isn't good for her, bloodsucker, and it's only getting colder._ Jacob was pacing around the tent, and I heard him whining.

Bella raised her voice slightly, addressing him, "G-g-g-get out of h-h-h-ere."

"He's just worried about you. He's fine. _His_ body is equipped to deal with this." Even in danger of freezing to death, it was the wolf she worried about, as usual. I grimaced, unhappy and scared.

"H-h-h-h-h-h." She tried to talk to me further, but was shaken by her shivers so hard that she was unable to form the words.

_She's not going to survive this!_

I was terribly afraid that Jacob was right, that my attempt to save her life was going to end up killing her, instead. Another blast of arctic air shook the tent, reinforcing the need to keep her under what protection I could provide. "What do you want me to do? Carry her through _that?_ I don't see you making yourself useful. Why don't you go fetch a space heater or something?" I snarled at him.

"I'm ok-k-k-k-k-k- _kay._ " Bella insisted, just as another freezing blast of air whipped around the small tent. Bella shuddered almost as hard as the thin walls. I groaned, wishing I could protect her, but my skin was cold on the warmest of days, and I was sure anything I did would only make things worse.

Jacob thought of the coming morning and pictured a vivid image of Bella, her skin like mine, sparkling like ice in the sun. But unlike me, her skin was truly ice, her body still and lifeless. The image in his mind made my lips curl with hatred for the mutt. As though I wasn't perfectly capable of picturing Bella's death on my own – having seen it in so many ways through Alice's mind – now I had this new one from Jacob.

_I always knew you'd kill her. There's nothing you can do about it now. She's going to die because of you._

Before I could give in to the cry of pain that image caused, Jacob howled, his voice full of the same pain I felt at that moment. His wolf scream was so loud that I saw Bella flinch and put her hands over her ears. I could see how terribly white her skin was and felt terror shoot through me.

Stung, terrified that he was right, I snapped, "That was hardly necessary."

_Seth! I need you here. Now!_

A new voice entered Jacob's mind, and I recognized him as the younger wolf who was to join us during the fight. Couldn't he have called for Seth without howling at the top of his lungs? Sam was a wolf too, and could have passed along the message.

… _on my way…_ I heard the younger wolf respond.

 _You can't save her from the weather… but I can._ _Seth is going to take over for me. I'm coming in._

"And that's the worst idea I've ever heard," I exclaimed, hating the new image that was filling his mind. Jacob and Bella, embracing, sharing the small tent while I prowled in the storm outside.

"Better than anything you've come up with," Jacob scoffed from right outside the tent. I saw him pulling his pants back on, beating his hands against them to knock the ice off. _"Go fetch a space heater,"_ he mocked me. "I'm not a St. Bernard." He unzipped the flap that served as a door and slipped inside, bringing an icy blast of wind and snow inside with him. He had his jacket in his hand, but he threw it over one arm as he turned inside of the small tent to zip the flap closed.

I was crouched on one side, and Jacob squatted on the other with Bella between us. His death scent was overpowering in the tiny enclosed space. Bella's perfect sweetness had been fading, and was now lost to me completely in the face of the wolf's stench. I was upset and on edge, and having him closer wasn't helping.

"I don't like this," I hissed at him. "Just give her the coat and get out."

… _as if it would do her any good._ "The parka's for tomorrow – she's too cold to warm it up by herself," he pointed out. "You said she needed a space heater, and here I am."

I couldn't deny that. Even from where I was crouched, I could feel the heat coming off his skin, despite the fact that he had just come in from the blizzard, had snow melting in his hair, and was only wearing his tattered pants.

"J-J-J-J-Jake, you'll freez-z-z-ze," Bella stuttered, recognizing that – as usual – he was barely wearing anything.

He grinned at her. "Not me. I run at a toasty one-oh-eight point nine these days. I'll have you sweating in no time."

I felt a growl in my chest, but if his presence in the tent meant Bella would be saved, I would put up with the obnoxious mongrel. He was busy thinking of the storm outside, so I didn't realize his intentions until he scooted close to Bella and began to unzip her sleeping bag. The moment the image of them snuggled together inside of the thick bag formed in his mind, I shot across the tent, realizing that he had truly intended to follow up on his plan of the two of them embracing. I grabbed the mutt's shoulder, intending to shove him away from her, but he flexed against me and wasn't budged.

"Get your hand off of me," he growled at me. I felt the fire in his bones, but he was more in control of himself than I was at that moment, and wasn't trembling with the need to turn into the wolf. If he _had_ changed, he would have destroyed the small tent and he knew that would have meant Bella's death.

Having him warm the space in the tent was one thing. Letting him curl himself around Bella right in front of me was beyond my ability to tolerate.

"Keep your hands off of her," I ordered.

"D-d-d-don't f-f-f-f-fight," Bella groaned.

He glared at me and I watched through his mind as my eyes lost all of the color they had, shifting from their light amber to completely black in seconds. Deliberately he pictured the victims of exposure to the elements he'd seen before, how frostbite had eaten away at their extremities, turning them black like my eyes, and then the smell when they'd thawed out and their living flesh had begun to rot.

"I'm sure she'll thank you for this when her toes turn black and drop off." He backed his words up with another image of rotting toes, but instead of some tribe member I didn't know, he imagined Bella in their place.

Bella's perfect sweetness replaced with a death stench of her own? Her perfect body damaged beyond what even vampire venom would be able to repair? No. I couldn't allow that to happen.

Slowly, I moved back to my corner. I felt the victory in his mind and his delight in the circumstances that allowed him to press his body against hers. Furious, I growled, "Watch yourself."

He just laughed and continued unzipping her sleeping bag. "Scoot over, Bella."

I saw the comprehension on her face as she realized what he intended and was gratified by the fury in her eyes. "N-n-n-n-n." Despite her anger, she was still shivering so hard that her words were incomprehensible.

"Don't be stupid. Don't you _like_ having ten toes?" He shoved her gently over and slid himself into the sleeping bag beside her. The mutt I hated zipped the bag closed behind himself and wrapped his arms around my fiancé.

I held myself rigid, fighting the desire to rip him away from her. I couldn't stand the thought of her hurt because of my careless choice in camping on the frozen mountainside, but seeing her turn toward him and press herself against him was agonizing. I could see the motion inside of the bag as she twined her legs with his and wrapped her arms around his bare chest.

"Jeez, you're freezing, Bella," he hissed as her icy skin pressed against his.

"S-s-s-s-sorry."

"Try to relax. You'll be warm in a minute," he crooned as he glanced at me and smirked. "Of course, you'd warm up faster if you took your clothes off."

I didn't bother to fight back the growl that ripped from me at _those_ words.

"That's just a simple fact. Survival one-oh-one," he stated.

"C-c-cut it out, Jake." Her anger was soothing to me, calming the fury that I was seething with, even if it didn't stop me from hating Jacob Black more with each passing moment. "N-n-n-nobody really n-n-n-n-needs all ten t-t-t-toes."

"Don't worry about the bloodsucker. He's just jealous."

His words were more true than I wanted to admit to myself. I knew the hatred I felt for him at that moment was based on exactly that. I had always been jealous not just of his relationship with Bella, but of the way he was forever saving her. I'd put her in danger – again – and _he_ was the one saving her. Again. If I were to press myself against her as he was doing, I would only kill her faster. Even in the warmth of her home, I had to wrap her in blankets to protect her from my icy skin.

"Of course I am," I said, bitterly. "You don't have the faintest idea how much I wish I could do what you're doing for her, mongrel."

"Those are the breaks," he grinned at me. Then his mouth twisted, losing its gloat. "At least you know she wishes it was you."

Thinking of the compromise she had made with me just the night before, I smiled slightly. "True."

We both heard the change when Bella's convulsive shivering slowed and her body began to relax against him.

"There. Feeling better?" he murmured.

"Yes," she sighed.

"Your lips are still blue. Want me to warm those up for you, too? You only have to ask."

I sighed at his childishness.

"Behave yourself," she chided him.

I watched her legs moving inside of the bag, heard the scraping of rubber against rubber and a muffled thump followed by another. Inside the bag, I saw the vague outline of her shoes press against the bottom of the bag, and then the movement of her legs again as she twined hers with his.

He jumped and hissed, reacting to the chill of her cold skin. He didn't protest, though, and pressed his face against hers. Bella sighed and I watched as she pressed herself against his chest. My lips formed a hard line and I looked away, but that didn't stop me from seeing through Jacob's mind. Through him, I felt her body temperature rise and as it did, she relaxed against him, snuggled into his embrace the way she usually was in mine.

"Jake?" Bella's voice was muffled and slightly slurred. "Can I ask you something? I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything. I'm honestly curious."

He chuckled, remembering when he had said those very words to her in her kitchen the day he'd come to sniff out the intruder. "Sure."

"Why are you so much furrier than your friends? You don't have to answer if I'm being rude."

I ground my teeth together, not liking how she was so fascinated by all of the dangerous creatures that inhabited her world, and liking even less that she was so fascinated by _him._

"Because my hair is longer," he explained with a laugh. He shook his head so that the hair in question brushed across her face.

"Oh." She hesitated for a moment, then queried him again, "Then why don't you cut it? Do you like to be shaggy?"

It was his turn to hesitate. He was embarrassed – not by her question, but by his answer – and I chuckled, amused at the lengths he was willing to go to try to win Bella over to him. Bella wasn't a shallow person to be swayed one way or another by a hair cut.

"Sorry," she muttered around a yawn. "I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me."

Glancing at me in annoyance and seeing my amusement, he made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. "Oh, he'll tell you anyway, so I might as well… I was growing my hair out because… it seemed like you liked it better long."

"Oh," she said again, and I thought it was her turn to sound embarrassed. "I, er, like it both ways, Jake. You don't need to be… inconvenienced."

"Turns out it was very convenient tonight, so don't worry about it." He shrugged, happy for the warmth his extra fur had given him, and for the interest she was showing in him.

Bella didn't question him further. Her breathing deepened to the slow, even rhythm I was used to hearing as she slept. Her heartbeat, too, slowed to the quiet resting pace I had listened to for so many nights.

"That's right, honey, go to sleep," he whispered into her ear.

I looked away from him again, not at all liking seeing his face so close to hers. My hands clenched into fists and I bit back a growl. I hated that he was cuddling with my fiancé, that he was the one saving her life – again – that I was sitting in a corner, useless, forced to listen to his mind, which was rather vividly aware of the way her body felt pressed up against his bare skin.

Trying to distract myself from his thoughts, I closed my eyes and pushed my mind away from the tent, listening out through the blizzard for the wolf that I knew would be approaching soon. I was surprised to find him already close enough for me to hear. Seth was climbing our mountain, his breath billowing in front of him as he ran, his huge wolf paws sinking through the small amount of snow that the wind had failed to blow away, and his sharp claws gripping the steep mountainside as he climbed with easy loping strides up to our camp.

"Seth is here," I muttered, unable to keep the anger out of my voice.

"Perfect," Jacob smirked at me. "Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your girlfriend for you."

I clenched my teeth shut, wanting very much to tell him that Bella was my girlfriend no longer. Now that she'd agreed to marry me, had even agreed to let Alice plan our wedding, she was my _fiancé_. I didn't think right then was the appropriate time for such a disclosure, though I looked forward to telling him when the time was right.

"Stop it," Bella grumbled, surprising me. I'd thought she was asleep.

I smiled, knowing that she didn't like when Jacob was unpleasant to me. Every time he tried to provoke me, he drove her further into my arms, just as when I had tried to force her to stay away from him, I had driven her toward him. Unlike Jacob though, _I_ learned from my mistakes. I had no problem with him continuing to be a jerk to me if it made Bella angry with him. I could put up with his insults for at least one more night. However, once this battle with the newborns was over and we no longer needed his cooperation, I was going to have to see about keeping him away from us – which was quite different from keeping her away from him. I thought informing him of Bella's new status would be a good way to start.

The young wolf took up Jacob's position outside of the tent. He sniffed around the campsite, leaping from one boulder to the next, familiarizing himself with the area. He was totally focused on his position as guardian, determined to prove himself to Jacob, to Sam, to my family, and to his entire tribe as Old Enough, as a true member of the pack and not just "Leah's little brother" or one of the kids. Like the mutt who was curled around Bella, Seth was completely comfortable in the harsh weather. Though his fur was not as long, he was no more chilly than Jacob had been.

Most of the rest of the pack had returned to their human forms, because the only mind that I heard through Seth's was Sam's. And I could hear Jacob's, of course. _His_ thoughts were nearly enough to earn him a quick death. If it weren't for the fact that he was keeping Bella alive at that moment, - well, and we needed his pack to deal with the army - I'd have torn him to pieces so fast he'd have been dead before he knew it.

As though it wasn't bad enough having to experience the way it felt to him to have Bella's body pressed against his, the mutt was enjoying himself far too much. His mind was running away with him and the fantasies he was playing out were getting harder and harder to ignore. In his mind, I wasn't there - I didn't even _exist_ \- and Bella was his. I saw him remembering them riding their bikes together, but in his fantasy, instead of the grief that had constantly shadowed her eyes, they were shining with happiness. He remembered the kiss they had shared - the one he had _stolen_ \- and was imagining her turning to him now. I saw her reaching up to circle her arms around his neck, Bella's chocolate eyes meeting his just before fluttering closed, her mouth pressed against his, then opening to allow his seeking tongue entry –

" _Please!"_ I hissed at him, furious. "Do you _mind!"_

Startled – he'd quite forgotten I was even there - he gasped, "What?"

"Do you think you could _attempt_ to control your thoughts?"

… _oh …guess you saw all that, huh. Well, good!_ "No one said you had to listen. Get out of my head," he growled defensively.

"I wish I _could._ You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It's like you're shouting them at me."

"I'll try to keep it down," he whispered back to me, but his mouth twisted and I could feel the defiance in him.

He was glad I'd seen because it wasn't just a fantasy; it was a _possibility_. If I didn't exist, Bella would have been his. I knew it, and so did he. I was so determined to have her live her life - her _human_ life - the way it was supposed to go, but if I hadn't stepped in and snatched her away from the path her life would have taken, her life would have included Jacob. Having the werewolf gene wouldn't have mattered because, if I wasn't there, he would never have changed and would be fully human. Even as a werewolf, he could _still_ offer her a human life. He could be the man she deserved and, as a wolf, be the protector that she needed.

He was as good as Bella was and his soul was as pure. _He_ was no killer; Laurent didn't count. Jacob was alive in a way that I was not, no matter what Carlisle said, and could offer her everything: a future, a family, a life with her parents and friends, a life in the sun. If Bella had wanted to, he could move with her back to Phoenix, or Florida, or anyplace of her choosing. He could take her away from the rainy northern towns that I was restricted to, away from the town we both knew she hated, and move with her to someplace warm and sunny.

Jacob was everything that I was not, and I hated him for it. The future he envisioned with her was something I would give anything to be able to provide her with – and never could.

He was picturing how their life together could have gone. Bella, dressed in white, her hair shining red in the sun while she walked down an aisle to where he waited. Charlie, proudly escorting her toward the boy he approved of as a match for his daughter – something he had never felt about me.

"Yes," I admitted, softly. "I'm jealous of that, too."

"I figured it was like that," he gloated. "Sort of evens the playing field up a little, doesn't it?"

I snorted. "In your dreams." Charlie may not approve of me – what father would? – but Jacob had definitely lost standing in his eyes with his recent behavior. Alice's brief vision of the wedding in Bella's future had her meeting _me_ at the altar, just as she had promised me the night before. Bella was _mine._ She had chosen me, just as she had from the beginning. As soon as this horrible night was over, the dog would know it, too.

"You know," he insisted, "she could still change her mind. Considering _all_ the things I could do with her that you can't. At least, not without killing her, that is." Deliberately, he resumed the fantasy I had interrupted earlier.

Trying to master my fury, I insisted to myself that I _wouldn't_ kill her. I would do everything in my power to prevent that fate, while still keeping my promise to her. She was going to marry me, and afterwards, we would make love, just as any other husband and wife would. We were going to be together forever, and Jacob would never be a threat to my happiness again. He could indulge in his fantasies if he wished, but he would never know the real thing.

Attempting to block both his vivid mental images and his senses, I held fast to my own memories of what it felt like to hold Bella in my arms. No matter how vividly he imagined what it was like to kiss Bella, there was no comparison to experiencing her gentle, willing touch, to feeling her throw herself into my arms, to taste her hungry mouth on mine, to breathe in her panting breaths. I knew she cared for Jacob, but she was _my_ mate, not his. It was me she wanted, and I was certain that had always been and would always be true.

My teeth were clenched, but I spoke calmly. "Go to sleep, Jacob. You're starting to get on my nerves."

"I think I will. I'm really very comfortable." He stretched beside her, feeling her body against his as he moved and sighed in exaggerated contentment.

When I didn't respond, his mind began to wander, and I hoped he would finally go to sleep and stop taunting me. Jacob thought of the coming fight with the newborns, and a memory surfaced of earlier that day when he'd held Bella in his arms. While he had run her up to this godforsaken mountain, they had talked. Bella had confessed to him that she had convinced me to stay with her, to not go help my family kill the newborn army that was coming. Though she hadn't told him what she'd said to me to persuade me to sit out of the fight, he could think of no argument potent enough to convince _him_ to do so and wondered what she could possibly have said to me.

She hadn't tried to convince him to stay though, and for a moment, I was aware of a scalding jealousy burning through him that she cared so much for me. That set him to thinking about jealousy in general and mine in particular. He had seen her so rarely since my family's return, and I felt an ache in him at the knowledge that this night was fleeting, that in the morning, she would be in my arms again.

The image of us together the next morning morphed into another with which I was all too familiar. Instead of Bella warm and soft and pink with her frequent blush, he saw her like me: no more alive than the rock to which the tent was anchored, her skin cold and white, and both of our eyes a vivid red. I flinched from this image, hating it far more than he did. He was filled with revulsion, but also with anticipated grief. His hatred for me surged through him at the knowledge that I was planning on killing the girl he loved. He warred with himself, trying not to imagine how it would feel to lose her for good, to live through her death as I once had.

He had known people who had lost loved ones before, but now he burned with morbid curiosity. His father had lost his mother, Sue Clearwater – Seth and Leah's mother - had lost her husband Harry, and in a way, Leah had lost Sam, too. Members of the Quileute tribe had passed away throughout his short life, but Jacob was not so insensitive as to ask them what it was like to lose a loved one. Though he had lost his mother, he knew it was not the same as losing a spouse. He didn't care if he hurt _me_ though, and wondered if – were he to ask me – I would bother answering any of his questions.

"Maybe I would," I told him calmly.

"But would you be honest?" _...tell me what he really thinks, really feels, or... as he's done plenty of times in the past, would the bloodsucker lie? Would I be able to tell the difference?_

"You can always ask and see," I prompted him. Briefly I wondered if he would be like Bella and Charlie always were: accepting of my lies without question, but never able to believe the truths I spoke even when the proof was standing right in front of them.

"Well, you see inside my head – let me see inside yours tonight, it's only fair."

"Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to answer?"

He thought for a moment, then decided to go with the one that he thought was more relevant to the moment. "The jealousy… it _has_ to be eating at you. You can't be as sure of yourself as you seem. Unless you have no emotions at all."

Swallowing the venom that flooded my mouth, I responded through gritted teeth. "Of course it is. Right now it's so bad that I can barely control my voice." I clenched my fists tight enough to pulverize granite and tried to control the trembling in my muscles as they yearned to rip him away from her. Feeling that the answer wasn't fully honest, I took a slow breath before admitting, "Of course, it's even worse when she's away from me, with you, and I can't see her."

I knew what it was like to feel wrapped up in her warmth and I hated that right then, she was wrapped up in _his._ At least I could see her though, and knew that she had protested the situation. When she'd escaped Alice to go see him while I hunted, it had been worse, because then there had been only my imagination of what they might say and do. Then, she had sought him out, desired his company. Now, she was simply being kept alive.

"Do you think about it all the time? Does it make it hard to concentrate when she's not with you?" I could tell that he was projecting his own emotions onto me, essentially asking me if I felt the same way that he did.

"Yes and no. My mind doesn't work quite the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that means that I'm _always_ able to think of you, always able to wonder if that's where her mind is, when she's quiet and thoughtful." How often had I seen her frown and worry her bottom lip and been sure that Jacob was on her mind? I shook my head, wishing for the millionth time that I had never left her, that I had never driven her into his arms in the first place.

He remembered how she had been while I'd been gone and I flinched away from the image of her unhappy face, hating the grief I had caused. Jacob wasn't thinking of this image to hurt me, though. He was remembering how he'd known at the time that, though she was with him in body, her mind had been with me. When she would clutch at her chest and pain would crease her soft face, he'd known that it had been me she was thinking of. Now that the situation was – in a way – reversed, he wondered how often she thought of him.

"Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often. More often than I like," I admitted. "She worries that you're unhappy. Not that you don't know that. Not that you don't _use_ that."

"I have to use whatever I can," he grumbled, bitterly. "I'm not working with your advantages – advantages like her knowing she's in love with you."

I smiled, as grateful for her warm love as always. "That helps."

"She's in love with me, too, you know," he insisted.

I _did_ know. However, though I was willing to answer his questions truthfully, I wasn't about to admit _that_ to him.

When I didn't answer, he sighed, "But she _doesn't_ know it."

"I can't tell if you're right." It was my turn to sound bitter. Although I was sure that she cared for him, and certainly she felt he was her best friend, I had no way of knowing how just deep her love for him was. The few times Jasper, Jacob, and Bella had been together, the only emotions my brother had really sensed coming from her had been fear. Since I couldn't read her mind and Alice couldn't see the wolves, Jasper was the only reliable way of reading the two of them that I had. Everything else was merely observation and speculation on my part.

"Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what she's thinking, too?"

His question surprised me. The others had been more or less about him. Now he was actually trying to understand me.

"Yes," I started, thinking of the countless times I had wished I could see inside of her mind. And yet, her mystery was partly what had initially drawn me to her. Bella's silent mind constantly surprised me, kept me curious and interested. I smiled and said, "…and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, though it sometimes drives me insane, I'd rather she was happy."

A particularly violent gust of wind shook the small tent and I felt Jacob's relief that I had taken such extreme measures to secure the shelter to the rock.

… _waited much longer before coming in here to warm her… killed her, too… good thing he seems to have secured the tent at least… few minutes out there would kill her for sure…_

"Thank you," I whispered, knowing I would never be able to convey my gratitude to the dog for all of the times he'd saved her life. I tried anyway. "Odd as this might sound, I suppose I'm glad you're here, Jacob."

He snorted. "You mean, 'as much as I'd love to kill you, I'm glad she's warm,' right?"

"It's an uncomfortable truce, isn't it?" I wondered briefly what Ephriam would have thought of his great-grandson spending the night in a tent with me, protecting my mate. Although I was certain he would not have approved of the fact that I was involved with a human, I thought he would have understood our current situation. The chief had been intelligent and open-minded, otherwise we would never have been able to broker the treaty with him in the first place.

Jacob was thinking of everything I had told him, and I felt the shift in his mind as he lost some of his insecurity in the face of my own. "I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am."

I scoffed. "I'm not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesn't help your case, you know."

He grimaced, acknowledging the truth in my words. "You have more patience than I do."

"I should. I've had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting for _her,"_ I emphasized, wondering if he could understand how important she was to me. All those long years I had thought I would be forever doomed to my solitude. Yes, I had my family, and we loved each other as family did, but it wasn't the same. I was still alone, single, unloved and unlovable – or so I had believed. I shook my head, not understanding what Bella saw in me.

"So… at what point did you decide to play the very patient good guy?"

"When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It's not usually this difficult to control. I can smother the… less civilized feelings I may have for you fairly easily most of the time. Sometimes I think she sees through me, but I can't be sure." She always saw through my evasions, never missing the smallest details. It was the biggest truths that she was blind to, and I wasn't sure which category my hatred and jealousy for Jacob fell under.

He smirked at me. "I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might not choose you."

We watched each other for a moment. I saw in his mind the way Bella's friendship with him had grown – and quickly – from casual friends to a need for him that I couldn't deny. She had expressed her feelings for him to me before, though never in those exact words. I knew that she had come to depend on Jacob when I had left her. I knew that she loved him, had known it from the moment when I had first heard her say his name in her sleep.

Yet, she had chosen me every single time. Over every other boy in her life, even, ultimately, over her family. When she married me and I changed her, she would leave behind everyone she had ever known or cared about. From the start she had begged me for that very fate. And now, having secured her yes and the promise of eternity as husband and wife, I knew that she was mine, just as I was hers. Before that promise though, when she had resisted agreeing to marrying me, I had been sure it was her feelings for Jacob that stopped her.

"That was a part of it," I eventually agreed. "But only a small part. We all have our moments of doubt. Mostly I was worried that she'd hurt herself trying to sneak away to see you. After I'd accepted that she was more or less safe with you – as safe as Bella ever is – it seemed best to stop driving her to extremes."

"I'd tell her all of this, but she'd never believe me," he sighed.

I wanted to laugh. "I know."

"You think you know everything," he growled.

"I don't know the future," I corrected him. Even though Alice could see the future, I was all too aware of how fluid and easily changed the future was. Of course, considering the number of times Alice had seen Bella die, this was a very good thing. I closed my eyes, but couldn't stop every single one of them from passing through my mind. The van, the meadow, James, Victoria, the cliff, the newborn army, and my own carelessness a hundred times over. If Jacob wasn't here, I had no doubt that she would have seen Bella die this night, as well.

"What would you do if she changed her mind?"

I tried to picture that, but found it hard to imagine Bella telling me that she didn't want me, the way I'd told her I didn't want her on that day when I'd left. I felt a fire burn through me the way Jacob did when the wolf fought for his control. Just the thought of losing her was unbearable; I wouldn't survive it, as I knew from experience. Oh, I would exist, at least until I was certain that Jacob wasn't going to leave her - however unwillingly - but I knew that there would eventually come a time when I would be forced to accept that she didn't need me. How I would go about ending my life though, I didn't know, nor did I know what I would do until that point.

"I don't know that, either," I said, simply.

He snickered, "Would you try to kill me?" _…as if you could._

How often had I dreamed of ripping the obnoxious mutt to shreds? If he threatened Bella, I would have no problem doing that. If he attacked me, likewise, I'd end his life gladly. But if Bella told me that she wanted him, and not me, there was no way I would deny her what she wanted. I had never been able to do that.

"No."

He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Why not?"

"Do you really think I would hurt her that way?" I scoffed at the image he had of tearing my head off. Didn't he know what losing me had done to her the last time? _He_ didn't love her. Not if he was willing to do that to her again. I had left her to protect her, to try to save her. If he killed me, it would be for his benefit, not Bella's. And yet, Rosalie called _me_ a selfish jerk!

Jacob sighed, recognizing the truth in my words. Grudgingly, he agreed, "Yeah, you're right. I know that's right. But sometimes…" Even knowing how it would hurt Bella, he yearned to tear me into pieces for what I was, for the fact that Bella loved me, for the future that I threatened her with. He burned with jealousy, knowing that her future lay with me.

Echoing the jealousy he felt, because her future _should_ lay with him, and would have if I had died when I was supposed to, I agreed, "Sometimes it's an intriguing idea."

If I could, if it wouldn't hurt Bella to do it, if it wouldn't disappoint Carlisle, if it wouldn't violate the treaty protecting my family from the wolf pack, would I hesitate to kill him? I didn't _want_ to be a killer again, but how often had I imagined ripping this mutt to shreds? Despite his cocky attitude, I had no doubt who would be the victor in a fight between us.

"Exactly." He laughed, knowing that at that moment, we were both fighting the other and wishing that we could.

He was quiet for a moment, thinking of the other things he had wanted to ask me while I was being so unexpectedly cooperative. I waited, hoping he wouldn't ask me the one that was burning in his thoughts again. He knew that he would lose her when she became a vampire. I saw in his mind again, the image of the two of us, white and cold, hard as stone, with our eyes red with the blood of our victims. When that happened, when the future that he could see far too clearly came to pass, she would truly be dead to him, and the grief he was filled with in anticipation of that day was nearly crippling.

"What is it like?" he choked out. "Losing her? When you thought that you'd lost her forever? How did you… cope?"

I grimaced, able to recall all too well the pain of her loss. Jacob's anticipated pain didn't come close. No doubt the fires of Hell would have felt like a gentle breeze compared to the agony believing her to be dead had caused me.

"That's very difficult for me to talk about."

He waited, watching me patiently, but not retracting his question. He knew I'd lost her before, and that he would lose her soon. _…gonna kill the girl I love soon, and he thinks I care if talking about losing her is difficult? I'd like to know what I'm in for – what he'll do to me. Bloodsucker owes me this at the very least._

I grimaced. I'd never been able to talk to anyone about that horrible day. The closest I had come was telling Bella that her death had changed my perspective. I wasn't about to tell Jacob Black about the worst day of my existence. However, he was right. I owed him so very much. And I'd promised him that if there was ever anything in my power to do for him that I would. He wanted to know what losing her would be like, so, I would try to tell him.

"There were two times that I thought that," I began, the words coming forth unwillingly. "The first time, when I thought I could leave her… that was… almost bearable. Because I thought she would forget me and it would be like I hadn't touched her life. For over six months I was able to stay away, to keep my promise that I wouldn't interfere again. It was getting close." My voice dropped to a whisper, remembering my agonized wanderings, the way my thoughts had been a constant repetition. Home. _Bella._ Home…

"I was fighting, but I knew I wasn't going to win; I would have come back… just to check on her. That's what I would have told myself, anyway. And if I'd found her reasonably happy… I like to think that I could have gone away again.

"But she wasn't happy. And I would have stayed. That's how she convinced me to stay with her tomorrow, of course. You were wondering about that before, what could possibly motivate me… what she was feeling so needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of what it did to her when I left – what it still does to her when I leave. She feels horrible about bringing that up, but she's right. I'll never be able to make up for that, but I'll never stop trying anyway."

Jacob considered my words. I saw him remembering her unhappy face, her blank stares, the grief that had constantly shadowed her eyes. No, Bella had not been happy, despite all of his efforts. _…but if he had_ stayed _away… if he had given me more time… she might have been. I made her laugh, she could have healed… there's no healing from what he plans, though…_

"And the other time – when you thought she was dead?" _…like she will be when you kill her…_

I didn't really want to answer his spoken question, so I addressed the one that had been on his mind. "Yes. It will probably feel like that to you, won't it? The way you perceive us, you might not be able to see her as _Bella_ anymore. But that's who she'll be."

"That's not what I asked," he pressed.

Angry at his insistence, I growled, "I can't tell you how it felt. There aren't words."

"But you left because you didn't want to make her a bloodsucker. You _want_ her to be human."

I scowled at him. "Jacob, from the second that I realized that I loved her, I knew there were only four possibilities. The first alternative, the best one for Bella, would be if she didn't feel as strongly for me – if she got over me and moved on. I would have accepted that, though it would never change the way I felt. You think of me as a… living stone – hard and cold. That's true. We are set the way we are, and it is very rare for us to experience a real change. When that happens, as when Bella entered my life, it is a permanent change. There's no going back…

"The second alternative, the one I'd originally chosen, was to stay with her throughout her human life. It wasn't a good option for her, to waste her life with someone who couldn't be human with her, but it was the alternative I could most easily face. Knowing all along that, when she died, I would find a way to die, too. Sixty years, seventy years – it would seem like a very, very short time to me… But then it proved much too dangerous for her to live in such close proximity with my world. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Or hung over us… waiting to go wrong. I was terrified that I wouldn't get those sixty years if I stayed near her while she was human.

"So I chose option three. Which turned out to be the worst mistake of my very long life, as you know. I chose to take myself out of her world, hoping to force her into the first alternative. It didn't work, and it very nearly killed us both."

Jacob sighed. _…yeah… that I remember…_

"What do I have left but the forth option? It's what she wants – at least, she thinks she does. I've been trying to delay her, to give her time to find a reason to change her mind, but she's very… stubborn." My lips twisted into a wry smile. "You know _that._ I'll be lucky to stretch this out a few more months. She has a horror of getting older, and her birthday is in September…"

I trailed off, remembering her last disastrous birthday, and wondered what this one would hold. Alice was already planning a huge party in the form of our wedding. Maybe I'd take her somewhere on vacation, so that she wouldn't be reminded of the last time.

"I like option one," Jacob grumbled.

I smiled slightly. It was too late for that now. She loved me, and there was no more going back for her than there was for me.

"You know _exactly_ how much I hate to accept this, but I can see that you do love her… in your way. I can't argue with that anymore."

I looked at him, surprised. He'd never believed before that I loved her. He'd thought it a "sick vampire fascination." I was glad that, unlike Bella or her father, he was able to accept the truth when I said it. I loved Bella more than he could comprehend.

"Given that," he continued in a hard voice, "I don't think you should give up on the first alternative, not yet. I think there's a very good chance that she would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadn't jumped off a cliff in March… and if you'd waited another six months to check on her… Well, you might have found her reasonably happy. I had a game plan."

I laughed, remembering how he had almost kissed her that time. He'd been her friend – her _best_ friend. I knew how often friendship among humans led to love, but I had also seen in his mind how scared and unhappy she'd been. He was always too impatient, and Bella was stubborn. I was certain she loved him, but she was too stubborn to admit it. Considering the fact that he was keeping her alive at that moment, though, I decided to be gracious.

"Maybe it would have worked. It was a well thought-out plan."

"Yeah. But…" he hesitated, sighing. _…but he_ did _return. But what if he left again? Knowing what I do now, things would be different… I could…_ We _could…_ Excitement coursed through him at the thought of a future with her, a future without me, a future without secrets, a future that didn't end in her becoming a monster.

"Give me a year, bl – Edward," he said, his words coming fast and fierce. "I really think I could make her happy. She's stubborn, no one knows that better than I do, but she's capable of healing. She would have healed before. And she could be human, with Charlie and Renée, and she could grow up, and have kids and… be Bella.

"You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that plan. She thinks you're very unselfish…"

His words startled me. Unselfish? _Me?_ I was one of the most selfish creatures I knew. How could she be blind to that fact? I had told her how selfish I was. I had _shown_ her. How could she believe the opposite?

"Are you really? Can you consider the idea that I might be better for her than you are?"

I grimaced, knowing he was right. "I _have_ considered it. In some ways, you would be better suited for her than another human. Bella takes some looking after, and you're strong enough that you could protect her from herself, and from everything that conspires against her. You _have_ done that already, and I'll owe you for as long as I live – forever – whichever comes first…

"I even asked Alice if she could see that – see if Bella would be better off with you. She couldn't, of course. She can't see you, and then Bella's sure of her course, for now. But I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake I made before, Jacob. I won't try to force her into the first option again. As long as she wants me, I'm here."

Proving himself just as stubborn as the girl in question, he pushed me, "And if she were to decide that she wanted me?"

I scoffed and had to fight the urge to tell him why I knew it was _me_ that she wanted.

"Okay, it's a long shot, I'll give you that." _…but if she did?_

Without hesitating, I said, "I would let her go."

"Just like that?" he asked, incredulous.

"In the sense that I'd never show her how hard it was for me, yes. But I would keep watch. You see, Jacob, _you_ might leave her someday. Like Sam and Emily, you wouldn't have a choice. I would always be waiting in the wings, hoping for that to happen."

 _No way... I'll never imprint... have to see them to imprint on them, and Bella's is the only face I see..._ He sank back to the ground, scooting further into the thick sleeping bag. "Well, you've been much more honest than I had any right to expect… Edward," he said my name grudgingly, and I smiled. "Thanks for letting me in your head."

"As I said, I'm feeling oddly grateful for your presence in her life tonight. It was the least I could do…"

I thought for a moment of what it must be like for him. How would I feel if Bella rejected me, as she had rejected him, over and over? He really was far more deserving of her love than I was. I had rejected her, yet still she came back to me, had even promised herself to me. She had rejected him, despite the number of times he'd saved her life, despite how he'd been there for her every time she'd needed him, and how he was there for her, even now. What a strange triangle we made.

"You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you." I chuckled to myself, amused by that admission.

"Maybe… if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love… well, no, not even then."

I laughed harder. Yes, he was nearly as stubborn as the girl we both loved.


	33. The Third Wife

**A/N**

So, yeah, sorry this one doesn't have as much original stuff as most of my chapters do. The story of the third wife just wouldn't fit into the previous chapter without making it ridiculously long, but the next chapter needs to be its own, so this one is short and more just canon than usual. But when you stick to canon, sometimes it's just like, eh, what else can you do but go with what SM gives you? Anyhow, I promise the next chapter will be much more fun ;)

~L

**The Third Wife**

The blizzard continued to rage outside of the small tent, while inside, I watched the werewolf I had hated for so long snuggling with my fiancé. No longer raked with shivers from the cold storm, in danger of dying from the frigid temperatures, Bella was warm and pink again, her breathing even and slow, and her heart beat out the steady rhythm that I loved to listen to. Beside her, Jacob's heart wasn't quite as steady, reacting to the thoughts in his head. He was thinking of all that we had discussed that night, still trying to find some way to convince me to leave Bella, though he knew it was futile.

My mind wandered, trying not to hear his thoughts. I focused for a moment on the wolf who was keeping watch outside of the tent. Seth had given up his patrol and found a patch of pine needles in a sheltered place between the tent and some of the large boulders that surrounded it. He was curled in a warm ball, but still alert, listening and smelling for any signs of danger.

I looked back to Bella and Jacob and suppressed a sigh, wishing that I was where he was at that moment, snuggled against Bella's warm body, feeling her heart beat against me, listening to her sleep-talking. I cocked my head at her, wondering why she was so silent. She often talked in her sleep. I wondered if Jacob's presence had anything to do with her silence. She hadn't talked too much the night before, either, mostly just saying my name. The night before _that_ , though, her subconscious had obsessed over something which I hadn't understood. When I'd asked her about it, she'd said it was from a story that she'd heard at the bonfire with Jacob.

"Can I ask you something?" I said, abruptly needing to know the meaning of her dream.

"Why would you have to ask?" _…can't you just pick my brain?_

"I can only hear if you think of it. It's just a story that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about the other day. Something about a third wife…?"

"What about it?"

In prompting him to think of the story, his mind conjured up the tale as it had been told to him by the tribal elders. I could see the old man in Jacob's mind, his face lined with the years, but his eyes bright and full of wisdom. His voice was as thin as his frame, but steady and clear in the silent night. Other than the old man's voice and the crackling fire, the sounds in Jacob's memory were those of the forest at night. I could hear crickets, frogs, owls, the high-pitched echo of bats, and the far-off sounds of waves hitting the wall of the cliff – the very cliff from which Bella had thrown herself.

These were unconscious memories his brain had stored and that surfaced now only because of the significance of the night. He had held Bella against his side and been surrounded by his family while – for the first time – an outsider got to hear the tribe's legends - legends that had been recently proven to be true, and were given far more attention by the pack than when they had heard the same stories as children.

I heard the elderly man's reedy voice in Jacob's mind as he recalled the tale.

_"Many years after Taha Aki gave up his spirit wolf, when he was an old man, trouble began in the north, with the Makahs. Several young women of their tribe had disappeared, and they blamed it on the neighboring wolves, who they feared and mistrusted. The wolf-men could still read each other's thoughts while in their wolf forms, just like their ancestors had while in their spirit forms. They knew that none of their number was to blame. Taha Aki tried to pacify the Makah chief, but there was too much fear. Taha Aki did not want to have a war on his hands. He was no longer a warrior to lead his people. He charged his oldest wolf-son, Taha Wi, with finding the true culprit before hostilities began_

_"Taha Wi led the five other wolves in his pack on a search through the mountains, looking for any evidence of the missing Makahs. They came across something they had never encountered before – a strange sweet scent in the forest that burned their noses to the point of pain."_

I felt Jacob's remembered amusement at the description of the burning sweetness which was how we smelled to them. His nostrils flared, smelling me now, and I tried to ignore the feeling of burning in my nose, disliking the way it combined with my perception of his death stench.

_"They did not know what creature would leave such a scent, but they followed it. They found faint traces of human scent, and human blood along the trail. They were sure this was the enemy they were searching for._

_"The journey took them so far north that Taha Wi sent half the pack, the younger ones, back to the harbor to report to Taha Aki._

_"Taha Wi and his brothers did not return._

_"The younger brothers searched for their elders, but found only silence. Taha Aki mourned for his sons. He wished to avenge his sons' death, but he was old. He went to the Makah chief in his mourning cloths and told him everything that had happened. The Makah chief believed his grief, and the tensions ended between the tribes._

_"A year later, two Makah maidens disappeared from their homes on the same night. The Makahs called on the Quileute wolves at once, who found the same sweet stink all through the Makah village. The wolves went on the hunt again._

_"Only one came back. He was Yaha Uta, the oldest son of Taha Aki's third wife, and the youngest in the pack."_

I paid close attention to Jacob's memory, trying to figure out why Bella would have been dreaming of this woman who was long since dead.

_"He brought something with him that had never been seen in all the days of the Quileutes – a strange, cold, stony corpse that he carried in pieces. All who were of Taha Aki's blood, even those who had never been wolves could smell the piercing smell of the dead creature. This was the enemy of the Makahs._

_"Yaha Uta described what had happened: he and his brothers had found the creature, who looked like a man but was hard as a granite rock, with the two Makah daughters. One girl was already dead, white and bloodless on the ground. The other was in the creature's arms, his mouth at her throat. She may have been alive when they came upon the hideous scene, but the creature quickly snapped her neck and tossed her lifeless body to the ground when they approached. His white lips were covered with her blood, and his eyes glowed red._

_"Yaha Uta described the fierce strength and speed of the creature. One of his brothers quickly became a victim when he underestimated that strength. The creature ripped him apart like a doll. Yaha Uta and his other brother were more wary. They worked together, coming at the creature from the sides, outmaneuvering it. They had to reach the very limits of their wolf strength and speed, something that had never been tested before. The creature was hard as stone and cold as ice. They found that only their teeth could damage it. They began to rip small pieces of the creature apart while it fought them._

_"But the creature learned quickly, and soon was matching their maneuvers. It got its hands on Yaha Uta's brother. Yaha Uta found an opening on the creature's throat, and he lunged. His teeth tore the head off the creature, but the hands continued to mangle his brother."_

I could see what the old man described all too well. The old vampire with his red eyes and bloody mouth would have smelled the death stench of the wolves just as surely as I did at that moment. Having never encountered another creature that could come close to harming himself, he would have thought the wolves just strange creatures, animals with an odd scent, not realizing that they were men.

I also knew – from personal experience – that, although having a limb ripped off didn't feel good, it didn't really mean anything. Fire was the only way to truly destroy a vampire. Simply ripping him apart would leave them with an angry vampire once he put himself back together. Even in ripping his head off, the body would finish doing what it had been doing before it got separated, and then would begin to seek out its missing pieces.

As macabre as the story was though, I didn't see what the third wife had to do with anything, nor why Bella would have dreamt about her.

_"Yaha Uta ripped the creature into unrecognizable chunks, tearing pieces apart in a desperate attempt to save his brother. He was too late, but, in the end, the creature was destroyed._

_"Or so they thought. Yaha Uta laid the reeking remains out to be examined by the elders. One severed hand lay beside a piece of the creature's granite arm. The two pieces touched when the elders poked them with sticks, and the hand reached out towards the arm piece, trying to reassemble itself._

_"Horrified, the elders set fire to the remains. A great cloud of choking, vile smoke polluted the air. When there was nothing left but ashes, they separated the ashes into many small bags and spread them far and wide – some in the ocean, some in the forest, some in the cliff caverns. Taha Aki wore one bag around his neck, so he would be warned if the creature ever tried to put himself together again."_

The old man paused his story and glanced at Jacob's father. Billy tugged on a string he wore around his neck, and pulled out an old bag, tiny and black. I knew - because Jacob had known - that the bag held the remains of that long dead vampire.

_"They called it The Cold One, the Blood Drinker, and lived in fear that it was not alone. They only had one wolf protector left, young Yaha Uta._

_"They did not have long to wait. The creature had a mate, another blood drinker, who came to the Quileutes seeking revenge._

_"The stories say that the Cold Woman was the most beautiful thing the humans had ever seen. She looked like the goddess of the dawn when she entered the village that morning; the sun was shining for once, and it glittered off her white skin and lit the golden hair that flowed down to her knees. Her face was magical in its beauty, her eyes black in her white face. Some fell to their knees to worship her._

_"She asked something in a high, piercing voice, in a language no one had ever heard. The people were dumbfounded, not knowing how to answer her. There was none of Taha Aki's blood among the witnesses, but one small boy. He clung to his mother and screamed that the smell was hurting his nose. One of the elders, on his way to council, heard the boy and realized what had come among them. He yelled for the people to run. She killed him first._

_"There were twenty witnesses to the Cold Woman's approach. Two survived, only because she grew distracted by the blood and paused to sate her thirst. They ran to Taha Aki, who sat in council with the other elders, his sons, and his third wife._

_"Yaha Uta transformed into his spirit wolf as soon as he heard the news. He went to destroy the blood drinker alone. Taha Aki, his third wife, his sons, and his elders followed behind him._

_"At first, they could not find the creature, only the evidence of her attack. Bodies lay broken, a few drained of blood, strewn across the road where she'd appeared. Then they heard the screams and hurried to the harbor._

_"A handful of the Quileutes had run to the ships for refuge. She swam after them like a shark, and broke the bow with her incredible strength. When the ship sank, she caught those trying to swim away and broke them, too._

_"She saw the great wolf on the shore, and she forgot the fleeing swimmers. She swam so fast she was a blur and came, dripping and glorious, to stand before Yaha Uta. She pointed at him with one while finger and asked another incomprehensible question. Yaha Uta waited._

_"It was a close fight. She was not the warrior her mate had been. But Yaha Uta was alone – there was no one to distract her fury from him._

_"When Yaha Uta lost, Taha Aki screamed in defiance. He limped forward and shifted into an ancient, white-muzzled wolf. The wolf was old, but this was Taha Aki the Spirit Man, and his rage made him strong. The fight began again._

_"Taha Aki's third wife had just seen her son die before her. Now her husband fought, and she had no hope that he could win. She'd heard every word the witnesses to the slaughter had told the council. She'd heard the story of Yaha Uta's first victory, and knew that his brother's diversion had saved him._

_"The third wife grabbed a knife from the belt of one of the sons who stood beside her. They were all young sons, not yet men, and she knew they would die when their father failed._

_"The third wife ran toward the Cold Woman with the dagger raised high. The Cold Woman smiled, barely distracted from her fight with the old wolf. She had no fear of the weak human woman or the knife that would not even scratch her skin, and she was about to deliver the death blow to Taha Aki._

_"And then the third wife did something the Cold Woman did not expect. She fell to her knees at the blood drinker's feet and plunged the knife into her own heart – "_

When Jacob's rapid mental playback of the story reached this point, I heard a hiss of pain escape me. I didn't care about the rest of the story. I knew that the sudden appearance of a bleeding human in front of her would have distracted the vampire enough for the old wolf to win the fight. It was obvious, for how else would any of the tribe have survived if the vampire woman had not been killed? She had been out for revenge, and was intent on slaughtering the entire tribe.

No, the human woman's sacrifice had allowed her husband, her children, and the rest of the tribe to survive. She was the reason that Jacob himself was alive that day. And I was all too familiar with Bella's tendency to put the needs of those she loved above her own.

"What?" Jacob's harsh voice cut through my icy fear.

"Of course. Of course! I rather wish your elders had kept _that_ story to themselves, Jacob," I snarled, furious.

… _thought you animal-drinkers didn't like the red-eyed ones. What difference would it make that my ancestors killed a few? Or maybe you don't like being reminded of what your nature truly is. Hide it behind the animals you kill if you want;_ I _know that you are murderers._

"You don't like the leeches being painted as the bad guys?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "You know, they _are._ Then _and_ now."

"I really couldn't care less about that part. Can't you guess which character Bella would identify with?" My lips were curled from my teeth and my hands clenched into tight fists, as I glared at him, waiting for him to see the damage that his tribe's elder had done with his story.

I saw the comprehension in his eyes as he pictured Bella in the place of the long-dead, nameless woman. "Oh. Ugh. The third wife. Okay, I see your point."

Snarling, I had to work to keep from shouting at him. "She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as she puts it." My anger toward him drained away to be replaced by fear for my Bella. She would never hesitate to sacrifice herself if she believed me to be in danger. "That was the secondary reason for my staying with her tomorrow. She's quite inventive when she wants something."

A memory of Bella's inventive compromise filled my mind and I nearly laughed. Yes, she would go to great lengths to get what she wanted, even if that meant an Alice-planned wedding. Calm again, I vowed to myself that once Bella was my wife, she would never have to sacrifice anything ever again to get what she wanted, no matter what it was. I would see to it that that was the last sacrifice she ever had to make.

"You know, your military brother gave her the idea just as much as the story did," he sneered, defensively.

"Neither side meant any harm," I said, quietly. The Quileutes had been relating their history, not trying to teach Bella how to distract a murderous vampire. Jasper had been trying to strategize ways to defeat the army for weeks, to save the humans in Seattle, and then to save Bella's life. It wasn't his fault that the idea was a sound one from a military standpoint.

"And when does _this_ little truce end? First light? Or do we wait until after the fight?"

I watched Jacob considering the coming morning, knowing that Bella would be back in my arms. He was determined not to stop fighting for her, and had a vague idea that the threat of the battle might force her to admit to her feelings for him. Once the battle was over, he had no guarantees he would ever even _see_ her again. He thought sourly that I wasn't likely to allow it, and I felt my lips twitching, knowing he was right.

He would continue fighting for her in the morning, and I would be his mortal enemy yet again, the hideous creature intent on stealing the life of the girl he loved.

As far as I was concerned, he was _always_ my enemy. That I chose not to kill him had only ever been for Bella's benefit.

"First light," we agreed at the same time, and laughed.

Of course, he didn't _have_ to wait until morning to fight for her. _She_ wasn't going to be in any battle. It didn't matter if she wasn't well rested. She was already snug in his arms, pressed against his body. There was nothing stopping him from waking her and trying to win her right then… except for my presence.

"Sleep well, Jacob. Enjoy the moment," I insisted as I thought to myself, _You won't get another._

He closed his eyes and tried not to think about Bella's looming death. He was quiet for a moment, and I thought he might actually be trying to go to sleep as he squirmed to find a more comfortable position in the cramped bag. His movements against Bella ended his desire to sleep and replaced it with a different desire.

No longer thinking about Bella's coming death at my teeth, he was imagining a different future for her. A future with him. Images of them together flashed in my mind, of the future that he wished he could give her, of the emotional need he had for her to be in his life, of his physical needs, which were even less experienced than my own. At least I had held her in my arms, felt her wrap her legs around me, tasted her breaths panting in my mouth. Now, I was forced to see him imaging himself in my place, Bella's body exposed to him the way she had never been to me.

I groaned, hating the image and hating him for putting it in my mind. "I didn't mean that quite so literally."

"Sorry," he lied. "You could leave, you know – give us a little privacy." _…give me the chance to show her what she's missing…_

"Would you like me to _help_ you sleep, Jacob?" I snarled at him, furious.

"You could try," he shrugged. "It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn't it?"

I fought back the desire in me to end the dog, knowing that would mean Bella's death. The storm sounded like it was dying, the wind fading from its screaming howl to more blustery gusts, but it was still cold enough to be deadly to the fragile girl. Swallowing my rage, I muttered, "Don't tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn't _that_ perfect."

Jacob laughed. "I'd rather not move just now, if you don't mind." _…actually quite cozy…_ Since he knew that I couldn't do anything to him without putting Bella in danger, he resumed his fantasies of Bella's possible futures. Not all of them involved her and Jacob together, though. As much as he hated to think of it, Bella's future was more likely to include me and the death that she planned. And, in his mind, this future had no other option than Bella becoming a killer, too.

I saw him picture us killing our classmates, Charlie, random strangers…

Knowing that he was imagining these things as much because he couldn't help it as to taunt me, I tried in vain to block him from my mind. I replaced the image in my head of Bella with red eyes and a bloody mouth with one of her smiling in my arms, her skin pink, her eyes the deep brown that I loved so much. Instead of the screams of her victims, I tried to hear her laugh, but Jacob's imagined high-pitched cackle while Bella chased humans was too loud for me to ignore.

Desperate for some way to block him out, I turned to the only real form of solace I'd found in my long life: music. Before Bella, it had been music that had been my constant companion, my lover, of sorts. Whenever I'd been lonely, excluded from the love my family shared with their chosen mates, when I'd been raked with guilt because of my past as a killer, when I'd been grateful for what love my family did share with me, and happy for them and the love they had found in one another, it had been music that I'd used to express myself. It had calmed me, cheered me, and saved me in so many ways.

I began to hum the song that I loved most, the one that was nearest to my heart. It was a simple tune, a melody I'd written about a sleeping girl, her dark hair wild and tangled against her pillow, her face childlike and sweet, yet her body restless, seeking a companion that wasn't there… not yet. It was Bella's lullaby, and as I hummed the sweet tune, Jacob's hateful thoughts were replaced by my own happy images. The future that he dreaded was replaced by the one I longed for. The image of Bella in his arms was replaced by the memory of her in mine.

I felt his surprise at the music I was making. He hadn't realized I had any interest in anything other than Bella and blood. Though my voice was unable to fully capture the richness of the piano, I tried, my fingers unconsciously moving over invisible keys on a nonexistent piano. As the simple melody filled the tent, I heard a sound that made me smile, and the song turned joyous.

"Edward…" Bella sighed against Jacob's chest.


	34. Disclosure

**Disclosure**

When Jacob's snores began to grind out in discord to my singing, I was able to relax my tight grip on my emotions. My arms loosened from where they were wound around my knees though my fists remained clenched. My face lost its composed calm and I felt my mouth twist as my eyes shut, trying to block the sight of Bella and Jacob wrapped up together in the sleeping bag. It had taken _forever_ for the mutt to fall asleep.

I heard my shaky breaths hissing fast through my clenched teeth. How I hated the dog! I hated that he had been the one to save her from yet another of my mistakes. I hated the way Bella had pressed herself against his bare chest, the way he'd wrapped his arms around her, and the way I'd had to experience how her body felt to him. I hated listening to his mind, seeing the images he'd taunted me with, both those from his past with Bella and her imagined future.

The blizzard finally ended shortly before dawn, and as the gusts died, Seth left his protected shelter between the mountain and the boulders to run around the perimeter of our camp. I watched him trot between the trees, leap over boulders, and sniff the burning sweetness of my own paths from when I'd paced the campsite. Since mine was the only vampire scent he found, he returned to his shelter where he curled up to maintain his warmth while he dozed, not quite asleep. I pushed my mind out as far as it would go, but there were no unexpected thoughts.

Resigned to waiting for morning, I sat in the corner of the small tent and watched Bella sleep in Jacob's arms. I'd listened to many minds as they dreamt over the past century. While lying in Bella's bed with her, I'd watched Charlie's dreams and those of their nearest neighbors. Charlie's were hard for me to really follow as his sleeping mind was as quiet to me as his waking one usually was. His dreams were more often impressions of his state of mind rather than a story that I could follow. I had been able catch flowing water and anticipation, an awareness of a cheering crowd that went with a feeling of victory and celebration, a chill down my spine that reflected his excited fear and the scent of gunpowder, a sense of calm companionship and the smell of a fire, an aching loneliness that sometimes seemed to rival that of my own past, and quite often there had been a fierce protectiveness and the image of Bella's face through the years. Charlie's mind was nearly as fascinating as his daughter was to me.

Jacob's sleeping mind was not full of the hateful thoughts his waking mind usually was - whenever he was around me, at any rate. I imagined that when he was with his pack, his family, his friends, and Bella, that his mind was as carefree as most young men's. I knew that Bella saw him as lighthearted – when he wasn't being a brooding vampire-hating werewolf, of course. But I'd never heard the sleeping mind of a werewolf before and was fascinated, despite myself.

His dreams were a jumble of senses from both his human and his wolf mind. I caught the feeling of great strength and speed, a joy in running that I found easy to identify with, a jumble of wolf impressions – scents, sounds, the thoughts of his pack, memories of play-fighting – and a strong fear of responsibilities the young man wasn't ready for, which lead to a guilt, to a feeling of responsibilities shirked. His human dreams were of his father, his sisters, and of course, Bella. Her face wove through his dreams the entire night, and every time I saw her face in his mind, I had to stop myself from giving in to the violent response my muscles ached with.

As the hours passed, the sun lit the inside of the tent, bright even through the extra tarp that covered the tent. Seth made regular ventures into the forested mountainside, and I followed his mind closely each time, but there was nothing there that shouldn't have been.

Finally, I heard Bella's breathing change, saw her shifting against Jacob's body, and met her beautiful eyes as they peeked out of the sleeping bag. I watched her face, trying to hide my fear, and waited for her to speak first. I hoped she wasn't angry with me for my choice in camping spots that had nearly cost her life.

"Is it any warmer out there?" she asked, quietly.

"Yes." Seth's impression of the temperature was that it was still quite chilly, but the bright sun had taken the edge off of the killing cold from the night. Trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice, I said, "I don't think the space heater will be necessary today."

Bella moved inside of the bag, but the sleeping bag wasn't really made for two and the dog was huge. His arms were wrapped around her and she didn't seem to be able to even work one arm free.

Bella looked at me and bit her lip. "Some help?"

More than happy to have her away from the awful mutt, I smiled. Out truce _had_ ended at first light, after all. "Did you want me to take his arms all the way off?"

She gave me a dirty look. "No, thank you. Just get me free. I'm going to have a heat stroke."

Unable to restrain myself, I undid the zipper in one fluid motion, surprised that I didn't just rip the entire bag to shreds in my haste. Without the support of the bag to keep him on his side, he spilled onto the floor, his bare back hitting the hard, cold floor of the tent. Shocked at the sudden ice cold against his heated skin, he hissed and flinched away.

"Hey!" he protested and rolled away from the floor, right onto Bella, covering her body with his. She gasped, her fragile body squished under his heavy one.

This was more than I could stand, and I picked him up and threw him off of her, tossing him – gently, as I didn't want to break Bella's shelter - against the far wall of the tent. He reacted instinctively and I felt the fire race through his bones as he turned to attack me. If he transformed into the wolf that close to Bella, he'd trample her! I snarled at him in warning and placed myself between the unstable monster and my fiance.

Jacob crouched, furious at the way I had thrown him, and his body trembled with the force of the wolf. He growled at me and his body seemed to swell in preparation of his transformation. Outside the tent, I heard Seth's shocked growls as he reacted to the sudden confrontation. He was torn between wanting to come inside to protect Jacob and Bella and knowing that he'd have to change back into his human form to open the flaps, thus making him vulnerable.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Bella yelled, throwing herself between us. Fear shot through me at Bella so close to the monster and I reached for her to pull her out of the way. My hand wound itself around her fragile waist as I frantically tried to think of a way to protect her from his transformation in the tiny space.

Bella glared at me and hissed, "Stop it, now."

I silenced my growls, not happy at Bella's disapproval, but my eyes remained glued to Jacob.

 _What is going on in there?! Jacob? Jake!_ Seth's thoughts were screaming for his brother, but since the mutt was still in human form – for the moment – Seth was unable to hear his thoughts.

 _I_ could hear him, though.

 _How_ dare _you touch me like that, bloodsucker? That was dirty, a cheap shot, low even for your standards! Lucky Bella is here to stop me or I'd be seeing just how many pieces you can put yourself back together from!_

Jacob and I didn't take our eyes off of each other. Though I was quiet, I could feel the rumble wanting to build in my chest, and waited for Jacob to either attack me or regain control of himself. Slowly, his trembling eased and the wolf form faded from his mind.

When he finally glanced away from me to look at Bella, she spoke calmly to him. "Jacob? Are you hurt?"

"Of course not!" he hissed.

I glared at her, furious that she was – as usual – worried _for_ the mutt.

"That wasn't nice. You should say sorry," she scolded me.

"You must be joking – he was crushing you!" After having to listen to his horrid fantasies and watch him cuddle with her all night, now she wanted me to apologize to _him?!_

"Because you dumped him on the floor!" Her eyes were stern, her mouth set into a hard line. "He didn't do it on purpose, and he didn't hurt me." She raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to behave like the gentleman I was supposed to be.

I swallowed my gall and turned my glare back to him.

_That's right leech. Say you're sorry._

I groaned, hating the mutt more with each passing second. "My apologies, dog." The words tasted like acid on my tongue and I _wanted_ him to transform, to attack me, to give me a valid reason to harm him.

"No harm done," he said, cheerfully, enjoying Bella's censure of my behavior.

Bella wrapped her arms around herself and I saw her shiver. I knew that it was warmer than it had been, but it was still cold. My hatred of the wolf forgotten for the moment, I grabbed the jacket that he had brought so that I could wrap her in it.

"Here," I said, placing it over her shoulders.

"That's Jacob's." She looked at his bare chest. The mutt was wearing only the tattered pants he'd pulled on before climbing into the tent last night. Even his feet were bare.

I was aware that he was perfectly comfortable – temperature wise – and if he was chilly, well, he always had another option for added warmth.

"Jacob has a fur coat," I suggested, hoping he'd take the hint and _leave._ I'd had about as much of him as I could stand.

"I'll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don't mind," he argued. Carefully, watching me for any signs of hostility, he edged around me and reached for the sleeping bag, sliding back in with an exaggerated sigh. "I wasn't quite ready to wake up. That wasn't the best night's sleep I ever had."

"It was your idea," I reminded him.

He snuggled himself into the center of the bag and closed his eyes, deliberately ignoring me. He yawned, stretching, before taunting me. "I didn't say it wasn't the best night I've ever spent. Just that I didn't get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up."

She may have slept in his arms, but from the way she had repeatedly murmured my name in her sleep, we both knew that I had been in her dreams. Still, knowing all too well how much he had enjoyed holding Bella in his arms all night, I mumbled, "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

He opened his eyes to look at me. Affecting innocence, he raised his eyebrows. "Didn't you have a nice night, then?"

"It wasn't the worst night of my life," I said, honestly.

"Did it make the top ten?" he pressed me, grinning hopefully.

"Possibly," I admitted with a growl.

 _Good._ He smiled and settled back down to sleep again.

Last night had been the best night of his life? Well, probably so. He was very young, after all. Hearing his pleasure in my discomfort, I decided to take him down a notch or two. "But, if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the _best_ nights of my life. Dream about that." I didn't bother to hold back my smile at the outrage I felt in his mind.

His eyes flew open again to glare at me and he sat up with a scowl. "You know what? I think it's too crowded in here."

More than ready to have Bella to myself again, I encouraged him, "I couldn't agree more."

"Guess I'll catch up on my sleep later, then. I need to talk to Sam, anyway." He reached for the zipper to the tent's flap, but Bella reached out to him.

"Jake, wait – "

He jerked his arm away from her touch.

I heard the hurt in her voice at his rejection when she whispered, "Please, Jake? Won't you stay?"

… _see? She wants me. I know she wants me… but I can't stay; I'm not allowed…_

"No." His voice was harsh, rude with his pain.

Jacob saw Bella's expression and knew that he'd hurt her. "Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am. 'Sides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place – have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right." He chuckled halfheartedly.

Bella's mouth was still twisted to one side in an unhappy grimace, but she let him go, murmuring, "Be careful."

Swiftly undoing the zipper, he threw himself from the tent, muttering, "Give it a rest, Bella." _...think I was the fragile one here... take care of myself!_

As soon as the zipper was closed, he removed his pants, tying them onto his leg before phasing into his wolf form. I saw him showing Seth what had caused our confrontation. They both stayed by the tent, surveying the still morning. Through Jacob and Seth's eyes, I saw their warm breaths billowing around their faces, saw the piles of snow where the wind had blown it against the boulders and the mountainside. There was no movement for as far as the wolves' eyes could see. It was strange how differently things smelled through their noses than they did to me – their own pleasantly earthy scents, as well as my burning sweetness which they could pick up from where I sat in the tent, and Bella's warm living scent, which clung to Jacob after their night together.

Bella leaned against me while I watched through Jacob and Seth's minds as one member of the pack after another phased into their wolf forms. Soon the entire pack mind was gathered together. Sam instructed the two youngest members to keep a close eye on the reservation before the rest took off for the clearing. They ran fast with Sam in the lead, followed closely by Paul, Leah, Jared, Quil, and Embry. The six wolves slowed before they reached the clearing.

Waiting directly in their path was my pixie faced sister. Sam walked slowly up to her, stopping a few feet away before dipping his head in greeting.

 _"Thanks for coming,"_ she said to him.

He nodded again. Though she couldn't hear him, I heard his reply, _"You're welcome, but we don't do this for_ you _. We would never leave our town to the mercy of a hoard of killers."_

_"I can see the army's arrival in the clearing about an hour from now. There are eighteen newborns running through the forest now. I see nine finding us. The other nine disappeared from my sight about here."_

Sam nodded his understanding, once again. The rest of the pack growled amongst themselves, eager for the coming fight.

_"When we've finished killing all of those that find us, we'll build a fire to burn them. You do know that's the only way to destroy them, right?"_

Sam growled, but nodded his head again.

_"When you're done, bring their remains to the clearing and you can burn yours with ours. Be sure you get every piece. We can't leave any evidence of this attack for the humans to find."_

Sam nodded a final time before my sister took off back toward the clearing. I could feel the instincts in him to chase her. The fleet form of my sister as she ran away from him made his muscles ache with the desire to rip her body apart, but he held his place. He knew the real enemy would be arriving shortly and he could give in to his instincts then.

If all went as Alice had foreseen, half of the eighteen would follow Bella's trail south into the clearing, while the others would circle around, keeping north of the clearing and heading directly toward the wolves. They would be planning on coming at us from the south, or the west, forcing us to fight from two sides, but the wolves would be there to stop and destroy them instead. I saw the wolves position themselves behind boulders and in the bushes, hiding their huge forms from sight.

"How much longer?" Bella asked, nervously.

"Alice told Sam it should be about an hour or so."

"We stay together, no matter what," she insisted, reminding me of how I had hurt her when I had left.

"No matter what," I vowed.

"I know," she said, her voice trembling. "I'm terrified for them, too."

I wanted to laugh at her. "They know how to handle themselves. I just hate missing the fun." My family's safety aside, I had _really_ wanted to rip the army to shreds for daring to threaten my beloved Bella. I saw her alarmed expression as her eyes widened and she pressed her lips together, and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Don't worry," I coaxed her, kissing her forehead.

"Sure, sure."

Now that Jacob was out of the tent and Bella was not in danger of freezing to death, I wasn't afraid to touch her. After the night I had just spent, I _needed_ to touch her. I felt a smile tugging at my lips and traced my fingers down her cheek. "Do you want me to distract you?"

She shivered at my touch and I saw goose bumps rise on her skin.

Disappointed – I guessed it was colder than I had thought – I pulled away from her. "Maybe not right now."

"There are other ways to distract me," she suggested.

"What would you like?"

"You could tell me about your ten best nights. I'm curious."

I laughed, delighted in her interest, and in the chagrin I could feel from Jacob, who was still pacing around the area, unable to bring himself to leave.

Curious what she would think and hoping to gain some insight into her mind, I countered, "Try to guess."

She shook her head. "There're too many nights I don't know about. A century of them."

I rolled my eyes. As if any of that century's worth of nights had meant anything without her in them. "I'll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you."

Her face lit and a smile played about her lips. "Really?"

"Yes, really – and by quite a wide margin, too." I grinned, enjoying myself.

She cocked her head at me, staring into my eyes, and I wished I could hear what nights she was thinking of. Finally, she shook her head. "I can only think of mine."

Hoping that she might actually be willing to tell me what _her_ favorite nights were, I suggested, "They might be the same."

"Well," she began to my delight, "there was the first night. The night you stayed."

"Yes," I confirmed. "That's one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my favorite part," I teased her. The part when I had first heard her say the four words I loved to hear most: _I love you, Edward._

"That's right," she murmured, embarrassed. "I was talking that night, too."

"Yes." I waited, hoping she would tell me another, when I felt her grow hot against me, and saw the blood swirling up to color her cheeks.

"What did I say last night?" she whispered.

Not wanting to think of one of the worst nights of my life when we'd been discussing our best, I shrugged, attempting indifference.

"That bad?" she pressed.

"Nothing too horrible," I said with a sigh, hoping she would drop it.

"Please tell me."

"Mostly you said my name, the same as usual." Unable to resist answering her, I hedged, but couldn't resist taunting the dog who was sitting just outside of the tent, listening. He couldn't see what could possibly be that much better than having Bella pressed against him all night while I watched.

"That's not bad," she said, watching me.

I knew that she saw through my evasive answer and forced myself to tell her the rest. "Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about 'Jacob, my Jacob'," I finally admitted to her in a harsh whisper. How often had I been forced to hear those three horrible words since I'd come back? "Your Jacob enjoyed _that_ quite a lot."

I could feel the smugness radiating off of him. Not just that she'd said it, but that I'd been forced to admit it to her. She leaned into me, placing a soft kiss on my jaw, while I looked away, trying to hide my pain.

"Sorry. That's just the way I differentiate."

Confused, I mumbled, "Differentiate?"

"Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me."

I thought about that for a moment, and wondered if Jacob annoyed Bella even a tiny portion of how much he annoyed _me._ I supposed I would try not to be that upset about the times when he didn't act like an obnoxious mutt for long enough to warrant Bella's friendship.

"That makes sense." I'd had enough of discussing the wolf though, and wanted to hear more about what her favorite nights were. "Tell me another favorite night."

"Flying home from Italy."

I was shocked by her answer. After my long months away from Bella, and living through what _had_ been the worst night of my life - believing her to be dead - the flight home had been heavenly. I'd held my own personal angel in my arms, breathed in the most perfect scent in the world, listened to the music of her heart and lungs, and kissed her soft skin and hair. I'd felt _alive_.

"Is that not one of yours?" she asked, her voice surprised and uncertain.

"No, it _is_ one of mine, actually, but I'm surprised it's on your list. Weren't you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors opened?"

She smiled calmly. "Yes. But, still, you were there."

Ah, how I knew I would never be worthy of her. I kissed her hair, grateful that she was there with me. "You love me more than I deserve."

… _isn't that the truth…_

She laughed and shook her head. "Next would be the night after Italy."

I grinned, trying not to give in to my laughter. "Yes, that's on the list. You were so funny."

"Funny?" Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake."

"I'm still not sure," she muttered, reminding me of what I had done to her when I'd left her, why I was staying with her now. "You've always seemed more like a dream than reality."

… _a nightmare, maybe…_ Jacob's unhappy thoughts grumbled.

I shook my head, agreeing with Jacob. I'd never understand how she could see me as anything other than a nightmare.

"Tell me one of yours now. Did I guess your first place?"

I smiled, glad that I could have the chance to say what I'd been wanting to say since Jacob had joined us in the clearing the day before.

"No – that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me." I heard the victorious ring in my voice, felt the love shining in my eyes as I looked into hers, and watched her easy blush color her cheeks at the intensity of my stare.

The shock that rippled through Jacob's mind was almost painful to witness, except that I took far too much pleasure in his pain to feel bad for him. Bella was _mine!_ It was about time he knew it.

Bella's mouth twisted and I frowned at her, unhappy that she didn't feel the same way as I did about getting married.

"That doesn't make your list?"

I watched her consider my words and guessed that she was thinking of our compromise when her face turned bright red. "Yes… it does. But with reservations. I don't understand why it's so important to you. You already had me forever."

Every word she spoke made my heart swell in pleasure, even as I felt the opposite from Jacob. Her words were like knives, carving themselves upon his heart, leaving him bleeding from a wound that he knew would never heal. I could hear his breaths coming in fast gasps, could see his eyes grow wide, the whites clearly visible in Seth's mind. Jacob's teeth were bared, his hackles raised, and he stood on the other side of the door, trembling in rage and pain.

Reinforcing the fact that she would be a vampire, my wife and my mate for eternity, I said, "A hundred years from now, when you've gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you."

Her eyes as they stared back into mine were warm, the deep brown I loved so much, and sparkling with excitement. "I'll remind you to explain – in a hundred years."

… _I …can't believe it… NO! …how can she? …BELLA! …Don't do this, please!_ Jacob's mind was screaming at me in his pain. Admitting to himself at last that becoming a vampire was what she wanted, hearing how eager she was for the change that would take her from him forever, and knowing that she had pledged herself to me, the images in his mind were violent. I saw a jumble of impressions: the horrid one of Bella's red eyes and blood stained lips that I had always hated; she and I together, sparkling in the sun; Bella dressed in white, but her wedding gown covered in blood; an image of her perfect skin marred by the scars from my teeth.

Behind those images were the thoughts of his pack. They, too, were shocked and outraged at Bella's intentions, and my apparent willingness to turn her into a killer. Sam was furious at my disregard for the treaty that was prompting the pack to work as our allies. He'd heard Jacob's memories of Bella telling him of her plans before, but none of them really _believed -_ either that she truly wanted it or that I would do it. Jacob's pack was shouting his name, their voices as loud in my head as though they were in the tent with us. Seth was crouched down and backing away from Jacob, in fear of his reaction.

"Are you warm enough?"

I saw confusion cross her face, her eyes wide and bewildered at my abrupt question. "I'm fine. Why?"

I opened my mouth to tell her that Jacob was leaving, but before I could speak, he gave in to the pain in his heart. His wolf voice echoed off the mountain as a howl of pain and rage ripped from his chest. I saw Bella's look of shock – she hadn't known he was there to hear us. The pain that crossed her face at the sound of Jacob's voice hurt me too, that she should feel for him at all – _still!_ – even after promising herself to me.

Jacob's howl ended in a choked sob that was strangely human even in his wolf form. He wanted to tear into the tent, into _me_ , but instead, he took off into the forest, his huge wolf paws digging into the frozen ground and hurling him down the mountain.

"Because your space heater has reached his limit. Truce over." I couldn't stop the satisfaction I felt at those words, at knowing that he was in pain. After what he had put me through the previous night, I _wanted_ him to suffer.

"Jacob was listening." The whispered words were flat, but Bella's face showed her pain. Her pink color drained away, leaving her as white as if she were already dead.

"Yes."

"You knew." Again, there was no emotion to her words, no condemnation for what I'd done.

"Yes," I admitted, again.

I waited for some kind of response from her. Anger at me, embarrassment that he'd heard, pain that it had made him cry, _something._ She merely sat still, her face pale, her eyes staring straight ahead.

"I never promised to fight fair," I reminded her. "And he deserves to know."

Finally she moved. Her head drooped and her hands covered her face. I could hear her breaths trembling and see her shoulders shaking. I hated that she felt so much for him. She was obviously hurting now, and I knew that it was my fault. She cared for Jacob – far too much – and in hurting him, I'd hurt her.

"Are you angry with me?"

"Not at you," she whispered through her fingers. "I'm horrified at _me_."

How could she blame herself for my actions this time? She hadn't wanted to tell anyone, and I'd promised her exactly that. Even so, I'd told him, and yet she blamed herself for his pain?

"Don't torment yourself," I begged her, hating that I'd hurt her again.

"Yes," she mumbled, her voice bitter. "I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldn't want to leave any part of him unharmed."

"He knew what he was doing," I insisted. She'd told him she was mine, even before I'd come back. She'd explained to him that her heart was mine, that she would never heal. I'd seen him remember those conversations as he prowled outside of her window. Again and again, she'd rejected him. It wasn't her fault that he refused to accept the truth.

"Do you think that matters?" Her voice was angry, now, and thick with tears. She was _crying_ for him, and my face twisted with pain. "Do you think I care whether it's fair or whether he was adequately warned? I'm _hurting_ him. Every time I turn around, I'm hurting him again. I'm a hideous person." As she spoke, her voice got louder, though her face was still buried in her hands, and I felt her accusations, though her words blamed herself.

 _I_ was hurting him. And she hated it, and she hurt because of it. I was the one who was hideous, who was glad he was in pain, who _wanted_ him to suffer. And she blamed herself for that, too.

Refusing to allow her to believe herself hideous when she was anything _but,_ I wrapped my arms around her and said, firmly, "No, you're not."

"I am! What's wrong with me? I have to go find him." She struggled in my embrace, trying to break free, pushing me away, and I dropped my arms, stung.

"Bella, he's already miles away, and it's cold."

"I don't care," she flung at me. "I can't just _sit_ here." Her eyes were full of tears, and her face twisted in self-loathing. I stared at her, full of fear, as she threw off Jacob's jacket and pulled her boots back on. She crawled over to the flap that closed the tent and tugged at the zipper. "I have to – I have to…" She got the zipper open and crawled away from me, sobbing for the wolf I hated.

Unable to move, I sat alone in the tiny tent and watched through Seth's eyes as Bella blinked in the bright sunshine, her tear-streaked face turning left and right as she searched for the missing wolf. Finally, she took off toward the trees, nowhere near the place that Jacob had entered. I threw myself out of the tent. Alice had seen Bella stumbling about, lost in the woods. In trying to prevent that fate, had I caused it to happen? I had caused nearly every fate that Alice had seen so far, despite my efforts to avoid them.

Surely Fate was laughing at me now. I had won the yes I had so desperately wanted, but in trying to make the dog hurt as he had hurt me, I had pushed Bella into running off after the mutt. It would serve me right for a newborn to happen across her scent now, or for her to slip and fall down the steep mountainside, or for her to be forever taken from me in some other way due to my actions. Today of all days, when victory was so close at hand, was my insensitivity going to cost me everything for which I'd fought?

I followed behind her as she stumbled into the shadows of the trees. Despite the fact that I knew there were no newborns currently nearby – I would have heard them – I feared for her and reached out to stop her from going any further. She tried to yank her hand away from my grip on her wrist, but I refused to let go.

"You can't go after him," I insisted. "Not today. It's almost time. And getting yourself lost wouldn't help anyone, regardless."

My hand was still wrapped around her bird-like wrist, and she pulled and twisted, trying to free herself. Her teeth were bared, clenched tight with pain and her lips pulled back in an angry snarl that I had never seen before. I ached from the pain in her expression, and realized that winning her yes was only one small battle in the fight for Bella's future. I'd known that she loved Jacob, but apparently I had underestimated just how strongly she felt for him.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered, unable to speak any louder. "I'm sorry I did that."

"You didn't do anything." She shook her head, still pulling against my grip and trying to walk further into the forest. "It's my fault. I did this. I did everything wrong. I could have… When he… I shouldn't have… I… I…"

I didn't understand how she could still blame herself, but she did. She was sobbing, almost incoherent with the pain I had caused her, and yet she said it was _her_ fault?

I pulled her against me and she pressed her tear-streaked face against my chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I moaned, "Bella, Bella."

Her fists gripped my shirt and her body trembled against mine. "I should have – told him – I should – have said – " Her words were halting, her voice still thick with the tears she was crying for the wolf I hated. She shook her head, seemingly unable to force her thoughts into words.

I couldn't see why she thought that telling him herself would have made any difference. Wasn't it better that he hear it from me, since he hated me already? As strongly as she was reacting to his knowledge that we were to be married, would she have even been _able_ to tell him? Would she have wanted to? Or would it have been better for her to have just moved away, as had been our original plan? We were to have gone to Alaska, where she would be far from any human – or wolf – and would eventually have faked her death. Did she think he would have hurt any less if she had died?

Then again, he _had_ told her once that he'd rather she be dead than one of us. Maybe he had meant it.

"He shouldn't have - found out like this," she finally choked out.

Still speaking softly, trying not to let her hear my pain, I asked, "Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There's still a little time."

Without looking up at me, she nodded into my chest, and let go of my shirt.

"Stay by the tent. I'll be back soon."

Without waiting for an answer, I took off into the forest, sprinting in the direction that I knew Jacob had run. Seth was still close enough that I could hear him, and through him, the pack. Jacob had run off blindly into the forest, not heading toward the clearing at all. Sam was trying to get his attention, but Jacob's pain-filled thoughts were - for the most part - blocking out the voices of his pack. It took only a few seconds before Seth was out of my range, but by that time, I had found Jacob's scent and was following him across the mountain.

I wasn't sure what I would say to him when I caught up to him. I _hated_ him! I hated that Bella loved him! I hated that he had this kind of power over her, that in causing him pain, I'd caused her pain, too.

The wolf's death stench grew stronger, and I slowed my sprint through the forest. When I was close enough to hear his thoughts, I slowed to a jog and found him crouched among some trees, shaking his huge wolf head back and forth. I could tell he was trying to calm down enough to change back to his human form so that the other pack members couldn't hear his thoughts.

"Jacob – " I started, but before the word was even fully out of my mouth, his head snapped up and his eyes locked with mine. The fury in them stopped me in my tracks. If he'd have been a true wolf, I'd have thought him rabid. There was froth coming out of his mouth, his eyes were huge, and his pupils fully dilated with only a tiny portion of his natural brown showing around the edge. His body trembled, his hair stood on end, and a ferocious snarl came from his chest.

In the instant it took me to register his appearance, he saw me - the source of his torment – bearing down on him, and he launched himself toward me. Quicker than he was, especially with the foreknowledge of his plan that I gained by hearing his mind, I scooted out of his way and he barreled past me.

I whirled to face him. "Jacob, wait – " I managed to say before he launched himself at me again. The fury he felt was easy to read. There was only one thought truly in his mind: to kill me. His claws scrabbled for purchase in the loose soil among the trees, the fallen leaves and needles providing little traction as he turned and threw himself at me again, and then again. Growling and spitting in his rage, my easy evasions only served to infuriate him further.

Seeing that nothing short of dismembering me would stop his attacks, I crouched low and pushed off hard, launching myself straight up. I grabbed a branch and dangled high above where the wolf leapt and lunged in fury at my escape. He managed to land his huge form onto a low branch and tried to leap from one branch to another in order to reach me. Although he was strong enough to make the jumps and the trees shook from the power of his hind legs as they pushed against the branches, his form wasn't adapted to tree climbing and I was far from the ground. He slipped back to the ground, landing with a sharp grunt. Pulling myself up, I sat on the limb I'd caught and let my legs hang off of one side, holding onto the trunk with one hand and the branch I sat on with my other.

He stopped trying to jump in his wolf form to attack me and crouched at the base of the tree, trying desperately to regain his human form so that he could climb the tree, his only intention to get to me so he could tear me apart.

"You can't catch me that way, Jacob."

… _can't stay there forever, leech! Come back down and fight me like a man! COWARD!_ Hiding _in the trees. I'll rip you apart and turn you into ashes! Murderer! You… you…you're going to kill Bella!_

"I'm not interested in fighting with you right now."

… _like I care what you're interested in. Get down here!_

I laughed at him - I couldn't help it. I immediately regretted doing so, as another wave of fury overtook him and he jumped at a neighboring tree, hit the trunk hard and pushed off again, propelling himself upward by bounding from tree trunk to tree trunk. His sharp claws and enormous strength might have actually been enough to reach me, but such a strategy was far slower than my straight jump up had been. Before he could get anywhere near me, I launched myself toward a different tree, far enough away that he couldn't reach me, but still close enough that he would be able to hear me.

"Hear me out, mutt," I growled. "I'm here because Bella sent me."

… _why? Does she want to invite me to the wedding perhaps?_ he sneered. _Or maybe she doesn't want you to kill me so that she can do that herself when you turn her into a monster like you! Tell her not to bother. Just get a knife and bring it to La Push where she can stick it in my back!_

… _it can't hurt any worse than this…_

Pacing the forest below me, the wolf was trembling and snarling, snapping his teeth in frustration. I could hear his choked breaths as he gasped with pain and anger.

"Look, there's no denying that we're not friends. But you and Bella _are._ "

… _friends…_ he scoffed.

"Of course, we both know you've always wanted more than that."

… _matters now…_

"It matters to _her._ Why else do you think I'm here?"

He stopped pacing and looked up at me. _I don't know, tick. Why_ are _you here?_

"Because, as much as I hate it, as much as it kills me to even _think_ it, much less to say it… Bella does love you. I've known how she felt for a long time."

His eyes narrowed as he took in my meaning. _…said last night that you couldn't tell how she felt._

"I lied."

… _yes, I haven't forgotten what a good liar you are…_

"But everything else that I said last night was true; I won't force her into anything – "

… _you're forcing her to become a killer!_

"I'm _not!_ I've tried everything in my power to stop her from becoming a vampire! And I will continue to do everything I can to prevent her from killing. She knows what I am, Jacob. She's fully aware of the consequences of her choice. But it _is_ what she's chosen… at least… for now."

… _still haven't answered my question. Why. Are. You. Here?!_

"Because, she has another choice. One that she won't admit to. _You._ She loves me, Jacob. I don't know why, but I do know that she does. And I love her. I want to spend the rest of her life with her… no matter how long that is. A human lifetime or eternity, neither one would be long enough. But one reason that Bella isn't a vampire right now, is that I want - I _need -_ to make sure that it is the choice that she truly wants.

"And now - for the first time - I think she might consider the possibility that… that she has another future. I won't have her marry me and discover too late that it was a mistake." My voice was harsh, and my insides were twisting as I spoke the bitter words. I heard an odd sound, grinding and splintering, and looked to where I gripped the trunk of the tree. My hand was embedded into the trunk, sharp splinters of wood sticking out between my fingers.

 _You…_ want _her to choose me?_

"Of course not!" I snapped. "Bella is _mine!"_

 _You don't own her,_ he growled.

"Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I am hers, then. I have always been, and will always be. She's agreed to marry me, to spend eternity with me, but when you left just now... I've never seen her in that kind of pain. I can't stand it. She needs to talk to you. I don't have any idea what she plans to say. Maybe goodbye, maybe not. But either way, she needs to say it. And so, here I am, asking you to come back and let her say what she needs to say. One way or another, there has to be closure for her."

_And if she chooses me?_

"I already told you, dog. If that is her choice, I will not stand in her way. But if you leave now, you make her choice for her. Are you willing to do that? To forfeit the possibility of a future with Bella? Or will you come back to the camp with me and let Bella tell you how she feels?"


	35. Visitors

**Visitors**

Calm again, Jacob was able to hear his pack and see Bella through Seth's eyes. She was pacing the campsite with a look of worry on her face. Seth was relieved that Jacob and I were not going to fight, and had curled up in his bed of pine needles, waiting on us. Jacob was able to phase back to his human form, and we ran uneasily alongside one another. As we got closer to camp, I put on an extra burst of speed, needing to be with Bella again.

Seth caught the sudden burning sweetness of an approaching vampire and leapt to his feet, alarmed.

"It's just us, Seth," Jacob called to him as caught up to me.

At the sound of Jacob's voice, Bella's heart reacted, stumbling and then racing the way I was used to hearing when I smiled at her. I walked ahead, wanting to see Bella before leaving her in the company of the wolf I hated. Before I could reach her, Seth trotted over to me and looked into my eyes to tell me what Jacob had missed in his fury at me.

_Sam tells me that your sister has a message for you._

I saw in his mind the memory through Sam's eyes. He'd been crouched among the trees, waiting for the approaching vampires and had caught one's scent. Excited and ready to attack, he'd leapt from behind the tree, but my pixie faced sister was the only one he saw. Calling his eager pack off, he'd glared at Alice, wondering why she'd left the clearing and potentially ruined their plan of attack.

Seeing her through Sam's eyes, I could tell she was worried – terrified, even.

_"Sam, I need to talk to Edward."_

Sam was able to hear the fear in her voice now, and he whined in concern. Knowing that I was confronting Jacob – who was beyond the point where he could hear his pack – Sam shook his head.

 _"What do you mean 'no'?"_ she asked, sharply.

He'd growled softly, furious at both Jacob and myself for getting so distracted when there was an army about to attack both of our families. Disgusted at me for causing such a confrontation, and also for the reason behind it, he sneezed – as close as a wolf could come to spitting in anger.

Alice huffed and flung her arms into the air. _"What's_ that _supposed to mean?"_

Sam studied her for a moment before slowly turning his back on her and closing his eyes.

 _"Hey!"_ Alice protested.

He glanced over his shoulder and chuffed at her before focusing his energy on regaining his human form. Seth lost Sam's mind, and the memory shifted to Paul's perspective, watching Sam in human form facing away from Alice.

 _"Oh,"_ she'd said in comprehension and turned her back so she wouldn't have to see him.

 _"Your brother has rotten timing,"_ he grumbled to my sister.

_"Why? What happened?"_

His voice was heavy with disapproval as he said, " _Apparently your coven is about to gain a new member."_

_"What? Edward's not going to bite Bella!"_

_"Not now, no. But he's planning on it, don't deny it. Against our treaty, despite his promises to me_ personally _, despite knowing what is coming in less than an hour, he revealed to Jacob that he is marrying Bella."_

Alice held herself perfectly still. _"I don't guess the mu- Jacob took it very well."_

_"I should say not."_

_"Are they fighting?"_ Her worried voice was barely a whisper.

_"I have to give your brother credit. No. They aren't fighting, but not for Jacob's lack of trying."_

_"So while he's busy with Jacob..."_

_"Jacob is currently unable or unwilling to hear me."_

_"What about the other one? Weren't you supposed to leave a younger wolf there?"_

_"Seth is guarding Bella. Jacob and… Edward,"_ he spoke my name reluctantly, _"aren't with them right now."_

Alice shook her head and sighed angrily. _"Edward."_ She spat my name like a curse. She fidgeted, huffing and sighing. _"I need to talk to him! Of all the idiotic, imbecilic things to do, he chooses_ now _to confront Jacob over Bella?"_

_"What is so important that you need to talk to him about?"_

_"There are some visitors on their way."_

_"Yes,"_ he agreed slowly. _"That's why we're here."_

 _"No, no,"_ she said, impatiently. _"These are worse than the coming army."_

From every wolf mind I heard the same word, _Worse?!_

_"The decision has been made. They're coming."_

_"Who?"_

_"The_ _Volturi."_ Seeing his blank expression, she explained, _"They're like vampire royalty. They'll be here soon."_

 _"When?"_ Sam asked, tensely.

" _I don't know, exactly, because_ they _don't know. Soon."_

I gasped, a worried frown crossing my face. Yes, of course. The Volturi's arrival would be more than enough to prompt Alice to seek out the wolves in order to contact me. Aro wanted my sister, and also Bella and myself. If he had chosen now to act, surely it wasn't a coincidence. They were here because the army was here.

"Yes, that's all we need," I muttered. "I suppose we shouldn't be surprised. But the timing is going to be very close. Please have Sam ask Alice to try to nail the schedule down better."

Seth nodded once to me, the message already passed along.

I turned my attention back to Bella, only to see her watching Jacob. He was standing with his back turned to her, unwilling to let her see his pain. I was aware that he was using his anger and her tendency to blame herself against her. In turning his back on her, he'd put her on the defensive, instead of him pleading with her not to marry me, not to become a monster, she'd be forced to plead with him. It was a good strategy, and I hoped with everything in me that it would fail. But, as I'd come to realize over the past few months, in order for her to choose me, I had to give her the choice.

Moving to her side, I spoke her name quietly, needing to see her love for me in her eyes. After the tears she'd shed for Jacob, and the anger I'd seen earlier, I needed to see her love more than ever before.

She looked up at me, her expression startled and scared.

"There's a bit of a complication," I told her calmly, not wanting her to see my worry over the newest threat. "I'm going to take Seth a little ways away and try to straighten it out. I won't go far, but I won't listen, either. I know you don't want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go." I managed to keep a tight hold on my emotions until the end. I knew that a future with Jacob was a real possibility, and lost my careful composure, my voice catching on the last words.

Her eyes melted, losing some of their fear, and she whispered, "Hurry back."

Grateful for the love I could again see in her eyes, I kissed her mouth gently, hoping as I did that it wouldn't be the last time. Before I could succumb to my fear any further, I sprinted into the forest, hearing the young wolf by my side the moment I hit the tree line.

When I could no longer hear Jacob's mind, I stopped, and Seth anxiously looked up at me.

"Okay, Seth, tell Sam that I'm listening."

I could see through Paul's mind that Sam was still in human form, and Alice was still there, waiting. They were standing with their backs to each other, but the positions of the various wolves allowed me to see both of their faces. Sam wasn't bothering to put on the clothes that he had brought, knowing that he would need to be back in wolf form at a moment's notice.

Paul huffed, gestured with his nose in the direction of our mountain and nodded, trying to indicate that I was listening.

_"They're back?"_

Paul nodded again.

 _"About time!"_ Alice grumbled. _"You know, Edward, you really are an inconsiderate jerk sometimes!"_

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Tell Alice to focus, please. What about the Volturi? What did she see?"

Paul couldn't exactly relay my words as their human forms couldn't understand the wolf language, but he huffed and snorted, rolling his eyes, and getting my message across to her anyway.

 _"There are four of them. Felix, Demetri, Alec, and Jane,"_ she began.

Just the mention of the tiny vampire female had my skin burning in memory. Only four, but those four were more than enough. Demetri, who could find us anywhere in the world. Alec, who could prevent our escape while Felix ripped us apart. Due to Alec's talent, we would never see, nor even feel our end. He could take from us all of our senses, leaving us deaf, blind, and numb. And that was if we were lucky. More likely, it would be Jane who would incapacitate us. She may only be able to attack one of us at a time, but recovery from the pain she caused wasn't instant - as I unfortunately knew far too well. She could attack us one after the other, giving Felix plenty of time to dismember us, though that wasn't normally necessary. Just the threat of Jane's talent for causing intractable burning pain was usually enough to prevent law breaking.

_"I see them arriving amidst a cloud of smoke."_

I understood at once that meant they wouldn't be showing up until after the fight. Sourly, I thought that made a lot of sense. It would have been easier for them to acquire Alice or my services if our family were weakened or our numbers thinned. I wondered what their plan was if the army was to succeed in destroying us. Would they let us be ripped apart and swoop in at the last minute to "save" us, expecting that we would offer our service in gratitude? Or would they let the army go so far as to burn some of my family, leaving Alice and myself with nothing to tie us to our former lives? Though the last thing I wanted at that moment was to feel grateful to Jacob Black, I  _was._ Without him, my family would have been slaughtered, my Bella killed, and for what? Aro couldn't truly expect Alice or me to serve him after that!

 _"I don't understand,"_ Sam said. _"There are eighteen newborns coming."_

 _"Yes,"_ Alice agreed.

_"You said that newborns were much stronger than… mature vampires."_

_"Yes. That's right."_

_"So there are four more."_ He shrugged. _"What's the big deal? They'll be weaker than the others; we'll take the newborns down, and then these four, as well. It'll be easy."_

 _"No, you_ don't _understand. There is a reason that these vampires are considered royalty by our kind – they're the police of our world. Felix is nearly as strong as a newborn, but he has training and patience that they lack. He, alone, would be formidable. Alec will be able to steal your senses. And Jane,"_ Alice said her name in dread, and I was sure she was remembering me writhing in pain on the floor of the Volturi dining room while the tiny vampire girl smiled. _"Jane can make you suffer."_

I saw the wolves exchanging glances at this information, their unease growing with each vampire named.

_"And the fourth one?"_

_"Demetri is a skilled fighter as well, but it's his tracking capabilities that he is prized for. We won't be able to hide from or trick him."_

_"So what do you suggest? Do they come here to kill Bella, too? Or just you?"_

_"They don't want to_ kill _us; t_ _hey want to recruit us. However, they would not hesitate to kill_ you _if they were to find you here. Our treaty does not bind them."_

 _"They know about us?"_ Sam asked in alarm.

_"Only in the sense that I knew about Jacob. They shouldn't have any idea that you are involved with the killing the army, though. I can't see why they would know that you are here."_

_"So what's the problem, then?"_

_"The problem is Edward and Bella. When the Volturi arrive, they_ need _to be here – or rather, in the clearing."_

"Bella can't be there when the newborns attack!" I yelled. "That was the whole point of this!" I gestured back toward the campsite.

Paul gave a sharp dog-like bark and looked in the direction of our mountain, then turned to Alice and shook his head. The rest of the pack was growling low and anxiously in their chests.

Misinterpreting the wolves' expression of my refusal, she said, _"You can't hide from them, Edward. Demetri may not be able to track Bella, but he_ can _find you."_

I grunted, frustrated at the barrier in communication. Seeing the problem, one of the others - Quil - retook his human form and told her what I'd said.

_"Oh. Well, I didn't mean for you to be here when the army arrives. But immediately after. If you run here as soon as all of them are burning, that should be soon enough. I see smoke before I see the Volturi arrive."_

Sam looked at Paul. _"Tell Seth to tell Jacob that he needs to hurry. We need him here to help us take care of these newborns. Whatever he's got going on with Bella and Edward can wait. The army is what's important right now."_

I nodded and said, "Sam is right. Can one of you please tell Alice that Bella and I will be there as soon after the fight as possible? Come on Seth, let's get back to the camp." Without waiting for him, I sprinted back to Bella. I needed to know what her decision was.

The camp was empty when I arrived, but I could hear Bella's distinct heart beat coming from inside the tent. The flap was open, and I peeked in to see her lying face down on the sleeping bag. I studied her for a moment, noting the tension of her shoulders, the way the thick material of the sleeping bag was clenched tightly in her fists, and hearing the way her breaths were trembling.

Carefully, fearfully, I slipped into the tent and sat beside her. Bella didn't react to my presence, so I reached out a hand and laid it on the back of her head, stroking her silky hair. Her whole body shuddered at my gentle touch, and I withdrew my hand, afraid that she didn't want me touching her.

"Are you alright?"

"No. I want to die." Her voice was full of tears again, cracking and trembling.

"That will never happen," I said fiercely. "I won't allow it."

She groaned, her body shuddering as she whispered, "You might change your mind about that."

I watched her, waiting for her to explain, but she refused to lift her head from the sleeping bag. My forehead creased, and I cast my mind out, listening for the dog, but couldn't find him.

"Where's Jacob?"

"He went to fight."

At that moment, Seth's mind came into my range. He'd slowly crept back to the camp, knowing that he was supposed to be here, his Alpha had ordered him to be here, but Seth had heard Jacob's mind as soon as I'd left him to sprint back to the camp. The young wolf was afraid of me, his body trembling as he slunk closer to the tent. Through his mind, I saw what he and the rest of the pack were witnessing. Jacob's mind was full of an overwhelming joy as he ran through his memory of what had occurred between Bella and himself. I watched in dread to find out what had happened that had given him such happiness yet left Bella trembling on the floor of the tent.

 _"I'm in a hurry, Bella,"_ he'd said, rudely. _"Why don't you get it over with?"_

Jacob relayed his remembered fear that she was going to tell him to go away and never return. Or that she would start spouting some nonsense about how wonderful my family of bloodsuckers were again. Or that she would try to convince him that, since it was her decision, when I made her a vampire, a monster, a killer, it wouldn't break the treaty. But Bella hadn't spoken.

 _"Just say the words, and be done with it,"_ he'd insisted.

 _"I'm sorry I'm such a rotten person,"_ she'd said in a whisper.

I grimaced. Jacob's plan was working so far. Bella was blaming herself for my behavior.

_"I'm sorry I've been so selfish. I wish I'd never met you, so I couldn't hurt you the way I have. I won't do it anymore, I promise. I'll stay far away from you. I'll move out of the state. You won't have to look at me ever again."_

I tried not to feel relieved at those words. We were already planning on moving out of the state, but I knew from Jacob's victorious excitement that this was only the beginning of the conversation.

_"That's not much of an apology."_

_"Tell me how to do it right."_

_"What if I don't want you to go away? What if I'd rather you stayed, selfish or not? Don't I get any say, if you're trying to make things up to me?"_

_"That won't help anything, Jake. It was wrong to stay with you when we wanted such different things. It's not going to get better. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I hate it."_ I couldn't imagine my anxiety climbing any higher at that point, but in the face of Bella's initial rejection of him – again – I couldn't imagine what could have happened to make his thoughts so joyous.

 _"Stop,"_ he sighed. _"You don't have to say anything else. I understand."_

I could see in his memory that he did understand, far better than Bella did. He knew how good she was, how self-sacrificing she had always been. He knew too, that she saw me as the same way – for a reason neither of us understood. If he was going to compete with me, he'd have to show her that he could be self-sacrificing, too.

He was going to lose her to me, a being he saw as a monster. If he was going to save her from me, he was going to have to resort to drastic measures. Deliberately, he looked at her with a fierce gleam in his eyes.

_"Well, you're not the only one capable of self-sacrifice. Two can play at that game."_

Bella's face was blank, not understanding. _"What?"_

_"I've behaved pretty badly myself. I've made this much harder for you than I needed to. I could have given up with good grace in the beginning. But I hurt you, too."_

True to form, Bella refused to let him take the blame. _"This is my fault,"_ she'd insisted.

_"I won't let you claim all the blame here, Bella. Or all the glory, either. I know how to redeem myself."_

Bella's voice was high-pitched with fear, _"What are you talking about?"_

Knowing that the army was close, he glanced away from Bella, up to the clear cloudless sky, and smiled. Bella believed every word I said, even knowing that I was a liar. He decided to take a page out of my book and lie. _"There's a pretty serious fight brewing down there. I don't think it will be that difficult to take myself out of the picture."_

I watched in his memory as Bella's blank look of incomprehension slowly changed to one of terror. _"Oh, no, Jake! No, no no no! No, Jake. Please, no!_

_"What's the difference, Bella? This will only make it more convenient for everyone. You won't even have to move."_

_"No!"_ she shouted at him. _"No, Jacob! I won't let you!"_

He taunted her, _"How will you stop me?"_

_"Jacob, I'm begging you. Stay with me."_

_"For fifteen minutes while I miss a good brawl? So that you can run away from me as soon as you think I'm safe again? You've got to be kidding."_

_"I won't run away,"_ she'd said wildly. _"I've changed my mind. We'll work something out, Jacob. There's always a compromise. Don't go!"_

I pressed my lips together. Compromise. I knew how good she was at those. So far his plan was working perfectly.

Pushing her farther, he accused, _"You're lying."_

_"I'm not. You know what a terrible liar I am. Look in my eyes. I'll stay if you do."_

Just her presence wasn't what he wanted, though. _"And I can be_ your _best man at the wedding?"_

She stared at him with agony in her eyes. I hated that she was hurting so bad, but knew that worse had to be coming in order to merit the victory and joy in his mind.

 _"Please,"_ she'd whispered.

 _"That's what I thought."_ Changing tactics, he went back to open honesty. _"I love you, Bella."_

_"I love you, Jacob."_

"Oh," I gasped, not believing how much those words hurt me. Knowing it was true, and _hearing_ her say it to him were two totally different things. He knew that only part of the battle here was won though, because she also loved me.

 _"I know that better than you do."_ He smiled at her, but when she made no move to go to him, or plea further for him to stay, he turned to leave, rejecting _her_ this time in the way I always had.

 _"Anything,"_ she choked out. _"Anything you want, Jacob. Just don't do this!"_

_"I don't really think you mean that."_

_"Stay,"_ Bella begged him. Her expression was tortured and there were tears in her beautiful eyes.

If the mutt had been there at that moment, I would have pounded him to a pulp for causing her to hurt like that. I should have fought him when I'd had the chance! But he was miles away now, and this was a memory I was watching. Fear shot through me like ice in my veins as I continued to watch in dread.

 _"No. I'm going._ _But I could leave it to fate,"_ he'd suggested.

I'd used reverse psychology on her before, and knew how effective it could be. He was pulling out all of the stops, fighting for her with everything and anything he could think of.

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I don't have to do anything deliberate – I could just do my best for my pack and let what happens happen._ If _you could convince me you really did want me to come back – more than you wanted to do the selfless thing."_

_"How?"_

I saw the light in her eyes, the desperation to make him return to her.

A feeling of impending victory shot through him and he suggested, _"You could ask me."_

 _"Come back,"_ Bella whispered, as blind as always to the truth that Jacob was shouting at her.

_"That's not what I'm talking about."_

She stared at him with a look of confused concentration on her face. He was about to take matters into his own hands again and kiss her whether she asked him to or not and I felt a fierce excitement at the prospect of breaking his jaw. The moment I saw the comprehension in her eyes though, I realized what must have happened. As soon as understanding hit her, she spoke five words that ripped at my heart the way my disclosure of Bella agreeing to marry me had ripped at Jacob's.

 _"Will you kiss me, Jacob?"_ she'd blurted, her voice trembling.

Although he'd been trying to get her to ask him just that, he was shocked that she actually _had._ He knew as well as I did how stubborn she was, and she'd insisted that she wasn't interested in kissing him plenty of times before. Having forced her to admit to her feelings for him and convincing her that he would die without her, he'd maneuvered her into asking him to kiss her.

 _"You're bluffing,"_ he'd whispered.

Her voice calmer now, steady and sure, she'd repeated, _"Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back."_

He glanced out into the forest, wondering if I'd lied about going far enough away to give them privacy, or if I'd come and rip him apart the moment he was distracted. Deciding the reward was well worth the risk, he was at her side in only three steps. I clenched my teeth together, and witnessed Jacob Black's memory of kissing my Bella.

He took in her appearance in the brief second it took him to close the distance between them and take her face in his hands. She'd held herself rigid, seemingly determined to allow him to kiss her, but not to kiss him back. Her eyes were closed before his mouth touched hers, her arms rigid by her side, and her fists clenched into tight fists.

Through Seth's mind, I felt the pack's surprise as Jacob Black's lips met Bella's. They all had varying responses from disgust to appreciation to impatience – there _was_ an army on the way, after all, and they needed to be focused on the task at hand, not his memory of kissing my fiancé. I could feel the joy in him turn quickly to frustration as he found her mouth unmoving and unresponsive. Angry that she was allowing him to kiss her, but nothing else, he shoved a hand into her silky hair and pulled her face harder against his. Jacob grabbed Bella's shoulder, pulling her body against him, too.

She didn't fight him, but stubbornly refused to encourage him further. His hand trailed from her shoulder down the rigid lines of her arm until he felt her tightly clenched fists and realized that she wasn't fighting _him;_ she was fighting _herself._ He pulled her arm up to rest on his shoulder, leaving it there when he decided she wasn't going to remove it if he let go. I experienced the thrill in him as he let his hand trace her curves, from her wrist down her arm, along her ribs to the dip of her waist. His hand slid around to the small of her back, and he pressed her body against his, holding her tighter than I had ever dared to. Unlike me, his body was alive and human, and he had no fear that he would accidentally crush her bones.

Although his mouth never stopped moving against hers, she was still passive, allowing the kiss, but nothing more. I was aware that my own fists were clenched tight enough to pulverize granite, tight enough, perhaps, to even transform coal into a diamond had I not been as cold as ice. Still, I watched helplessly as Jacob remembered kissing my Bella. He took his hand out of her hair and grabbed her other wrist, twining it too, around his neck before wrapping his arm around her, pressing both hands against her back.

He took his mouth off of hers, tracing her jaw with his lips as I had so often done with mine until he found my favorite soft spot just under her ear.

 _"You can do better than this, Bella. You're overthinking it,"_ he protested, angry that she wasn't kissing him the way he wanted. He felt her trembling in his arms and encouraged her, _"That's right. For once, just let yourself feel what you feel."_

She shook her head in negation, fighting him, fighting her feelings for him. He grabbed her hair, preventing her from shaking her head anymore.

 _"Are you sure you want me to come back?"_ he taunted. _"Or did you really want me to die?"_

He heard the jolt to her heart those words caused and felt her fists unclench from themselves to lock into his hair. I knew I was watching the source of the joy that was in him at finally eliciting a response from her, and he gasped, crushing his mouth to hers again.

Unlike before, when Bella had been passively allowing the kiss, now, suddenly she was kissing him back. Her soft mouth was moving against his, her head tilting just slightly for a better connection. I heard her sharp intake of breath and heard her heart stutter and then break into a sprint. I felt in Jacob's mind the conviction of his victory and in that moment, I agreed with him.

I'd lost.

The reality of her kiss was far worse than any of his fantasies from the previous night. Her kiss was fierce and joyous. Her mouth opened to his and I felt her tasting him, felt their tongues meeting, and tasted their exchange of breaths. Even on the night when she'd been trying to convince me to make love to her, she had never kissed me the way she was kissing him, then. Experiencing her through his senses was strange and awful. She tasted differently to him than she did to me, her skin wasn't scorching hot, her lips didn't burn against his skin. He didn't smell her sweet freesia and strawberry aroma. Nevertheless, she was every bit _Bella_ to him – spicy and salty and sweet, not hot, but warm and very much alive - and I had a hint of how she might have tasted to me had I been a human instead of a monster.

Far too soon for him, and nowhere near soon enough for me, their kiss ended. Their eyes met and hers were full of surprise and a fierce, burning love. He knew that his time with her was up, the promised fight was surely starting any minute, and he had something worth fighting for, now.

_"I have to leave."_

_"No."_ She shook her head, her eyes widening in fear.

_"I won't be long. But one thing first…"_

He placed his hands against her cheeks and carefully, gently, pressed his lips against hers again. He hugged her to him and whispered in her ear, "That _should have been our first kiss. Better late than never."_ He laughed softly and she pressed her face against his chest. Releasing her at last, he knew that he was needed and backed toward the forest.

 _"I'll be right back,"_ he'd promised her before sprinting away to go kill as many vampires as he could.


	36. Attack

 

**Attack**

Jacob's horrible playback of Bella's kiss over at last, I stared at the girl I loved while she lay on the sleeping bag in front of me and trembled, keeping her face hidden. My entire body stung in reaction to what I'd witnessed, but it was surely no more than I deserved. How many times and in how many ways had I caused Bella pain? That I ached now wasn't even her fault.

I had all but given Jacob step-by-step instructions on how to steal Bella away from me. Imitating my actions, he'd lied and told the truth as it suited him. He'd manipulated her feelings and used the coming battle to make her fear that she would lose him forever, just as she had once lost me. He'd taken my advice – though I hadn't meant it as such – and stopped allowing her to see his jealousy. He'd been confident and cocky, rude and ruthless, selfless and self-sacrificing as the need arose, and she'd believed every bit of it.

I had to give him credit, his plan had worked perfectly.

Jacob's display seemed to shine a light on every one of my flaws as I recognized myself in his threats and lies. My only saving grace was that everything I had done had always been with her best interests in mind. Of course, Jacob certainly believed something similar: that taking her from me was saving her from a fate worse than death. However it seemed to me that his words weren't genuine. His threats had been calculated, and I'd detected an undercurrent of falseness to his words - _he'd_ had no intention of killing himself.

Sacrificing himself to save her life was one thing. There was no way he would sacrifice himself just so that I could be free to turn her into a killer. When I'd attempted suicide, I had desperately wanted to die, and Bella knew this. In threatening the same thing, Jacob had used her pain to his advantage. Whatever his motives and methods, they had still resulted in Bella coming to terms at last with her feelings for him. They may have been cruel, but if his actions saved her life, could I really condemn them? And now that she knew she had another option, why wouldn't she take it? Anything was better than being turned into a murderer.

Wasn't it?

I wasn't sure how long I stared at her, trying to figure out what she was thinking when I couldn't see her expression, but I finally decided that my speculations didn't matter. Yes, I wanted her to live her human life, but I couldn't deny that I wanted her to be my wife more than I had ever wanted anything else. I wasn't going to concede defeat unless she told me flat out that she wanted him, not me.

"And I thought _I_ fought dirty. He makes me look like the patron saint of ethics." I laughed ruefully and saw her body tense, but she kept her face hidden. Her wild hair was thrown off to one side, and I could just see her soft cheek. Needing to touch her, I trailed my fingers along the exposed skin and shivered at the tingle of electricity that touching her sent through me.

I knew how she always blamed herself and assured her, "I'm not mad at you, love. Jacob's more cunning that I gave him credit for. I do wish you hadn't asked him, though," I added bitterly.

"Edward. I… I… I'm – " Bella's words were whispered and halting, full of pain and shame.

"Shh," I stopped her. "That's not what I meant. It's just that he would have kissed you anyway – even if you hadn't fallen for it – and now I don't have an excuse to break his face. I would have really enjoyed that, too." I grimaced, disappointed. After the previous night, and then especially after having to experience him kissing her, breaking his jaw at the very least would have been so satisfying.

"Fallen for it?" Her voice sounded confused, and I saw her tense again with what I guessed was surprise.

"Bella, did you really believe he was that noble? That he would go out in a flame of glory just to clear the way for me?"

She finally raised her head, slowly looking up to meet my gaze. Her tear streaked face was confused and wary. I smiled, pleased to be able to see her eyes again, and waited patiently for her to see how he had used the situation to his advantage.

"Yes," she muttered, seemingly embarrassed. "I did believe that."

I laughed, amused at how trusting she was, and teased, "You're such a bad lair, you'll believe anyone who has the least bit of skill."

"Why aren't you angry with me?" she asked in a low, pain-filled whisper. "Why don't you hate me? Or haven't you heard the whole story, yet?"

Fighting back my pain at the memory of her lips on his, I forced my voice to sound unconcerned. Like I had told Jacob, showing jealousy didn't help his case, and nor would it help mine. "I think I got a fairly comprehensive look. Jacob makes vivid mental pictures. I feel almost as bad for his pack as I do for myself. Poor Seth was getting nauseated. But Sam is making him focus, now."

I focused on Seth's connection to the pack for a moment, grateful that no longer meant hearing Jacob's recounting of his moment in Heaven with an angel. Through Jacob's eyes, I saw the forest passing in a blur as he sprinted with joy toward where his pack waited for the coming army. He was taking a longer route than the one he'd taken with Bella in his arms, closer to the one I had taken to get to the camp site, making sure to avoid the army's northern path. Alice was no longer with the pack, and I wondered how much longer it would be before my family would be fighting for their lives and mine. I wished it would have been possible for one of the wolves to join my family so that I could at least see them.

Bella's groan brought my attention back to her and I watched her close her eyes and shake her head, her face twisted and angry.

"You're only human," I said softly, reaching out to run my hand through her silky hair again. No matter how much I wanted to be, I _wasn't_ human anymore. The differences between our two species were more than dietary, and were the very reasons I had thought she would heal and move on after my betrayal. Humans could fall into and out of love many times over the course of their lives. The very fact that she loved Jacob at all proved that I had been right to leave. What Jacob had said the previous night was true; she could have healed - _would_ have healed. If Bella hadn't come to Italy to save my life, I was certain that she would have learned to be happy with him.

"That's the most miserable defense I've ever heard," she muttered in disgust.

"But you are human, Bella. And, as much as I might wish otherwise, so is he… There are holes in your life that I can't fill. I understand that."

"But that's not _true,"_ she protested fiercely. "That's what makes me so horrible. There are no holes."

If we were ever going to move past this, she needed to be honest with herself, and with me. I had to make her admit it to me, just as she had admitted it to him.

"You love him," I insisted.

She trembled again, and I was sure she was trying to say otherwise. Finally, unable to argue with the truth, she said firmly, "I love you more."

A wave of relief broke over me. She had admitted her feelings for him – and dismissed them. Determined to reaffirm what her choices meant, I had to push the matter. Now that she had acknowledged her feelings for him, she had to be made to see exactly what I was, to admit to the damage my actions had done to all of us, to accept them and move on, or to go with the wolf who had always been there.

"Yes, I know that, too," I said, unable to hide the relief in my voice. "But… when I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one to stitch you back up again. That was bound to leave its mark – on both of you. I'm not sure those kinds of stitches dissolve on their own. I can't blame either of you for something I made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, but that doesn't let me escape the consequences."

"I should have known you'd find some way to blame yourself. Please stop. I can't stand it."

As always, she had it backward. She thought I was blaming myself unnecessarily, when I _was_ to blame. If not for my betrayal, she would never have fallen in love with him. She knew that I had lied to her before, but surely she couldn't _want_ to be lied to. If she didn't want to hear the truth, then what else was left?

"What would you like me to say?"

"I want you to call me every bad name you can think of, in every language you know. I want you to tell me that you're disgusted with me and that you're going to leave so that I can beg and grovel on my knees for you to stay."

My eyes grew wide and I stared at her in horror. If anyone should be groveling it was me! I had caused her so much pain and was the source of her pain, even now. Her relationship with Jacob and what had just happened between them was my doing. I had left her, lied to her, manipulated her, and she had forgiven me so easily every time. How could she expect me to willingly add to the pain she was already obviously in?

"I'm sorry. I can't do that."

"At least stop trying to make me feel better. Let me suffer. I deserve it."

Firmly, I said, "No."

She nodded, twisting things around again. "You're right. Keep on being too understanding. That's probably worse."

Sighing in frustration, I tried to think of a way to stop her self-disgust, to stop her from blaming herself, but was distracted by Seth's thoughts. He was pacing around the edge of the campsite, not wanting to be too close to my reaction to Jacob kissing Bella. Our murmured words were just below his level of hearing, and he was paying attention to his duty as our guard and to his connection with the pack.

Briefly focusing on the wolves, I looked through their eyes, smelled through their noses, listened through their ears. I was aware that the sounds of the forest that surrounded them had grown hushed, as if all of the creatures that inhabited it could sense the army of death that was on its way. Their sensitive wolf ears detected a faint thumping, as of many feet hitting the forest floor all at the same time. The newborns hadn't yet reached the trail Bella had left, but the ready and waiting – except for Jacob, who was getting closer.

"It's getting close," Bella observed, seeing through my silence.

"Yes," I agreed. "A few more minutes now. Just enough time to say one more thing…"

I thought for a moment of how to phrase what I needed to say. Months ago, when I'd asked Alice to look for Bella's future with Jacob, Bella hadn't acknowledged him as a possibility. She'd refused to see that she loved him, and so Alice couldn't see any possibility of Bella having a future with him. _Now_ though, Bella knew how she felt, and how Jacob felt. If I asked Alice to look at what was to happen were I to leave again, I was certain that she would see a happy, _living_ Bella. I was also certain that she would see the fire I had imagined before, knowing that there was no way I could live without Bella anymore.

But for Bella to be happy, and for Bella to _live…_ I would give anything.

I had proven already that, if I thought it was the best thing for her, I could force myself to leave. I couldn't live without her, but if I didn't plan on living, that didn't matter. As long as I knew _she'd_ live - and be happy - I would do whatever was necessary. And if she wanted Jacob, but still wanted me in her life, I would be grateful for just her presence, though I loved her and wanted her for my wife. I'd known the truth of that in Rio. I'd known then that just to look at her face would make my existence worthwhile.

Unable to force my voice any louder than a whisper, I spoke slowly. _"I_ can be noble, Bella. I'm not going to make you choose between us. Just be happy, and you can have whatever part of me you want, or none at all, if that's better. Don't let any debt you feel you owe me influence your decision."

She suddenly sat up onto her knees, her face inches from mine. Bella's expression was angry - _livid._ Her chocolate eyes were wide and her forehead creased as she yelled, "Dammit, stop that!"

I blinked at her, shocked. She so rarely expressed any real anger toward me that I was temporarily at a loss for words. "No – " I finally said. "You don't understand. I'm not just trying to make you feel better, Bella, I really mean it."

"I _know_ you do," she groaned, shaking her head in frustration. "What happened to fighting back? Don't start with the noble self-sacrifice now! Fight!"

"How?"

I'd told Jacob that I would fight for her, had told them both that I didn't plan on fighting fair, and look where that had gotten me.

I had done everything I could think of to keep my Bella. I'd bribed my sister to kidnap her, had forbidden Bella to see Jacob, even going so far as to dismantle her truck to keep her from him, and later had relented and told her she could see him if she wanted to. Not only had I allowed it, I had delivered her to him myself. I had lied and told the truth. I'd striven to get into Charlie's good graces, and indeed he had stopped hating me quite so much lately. I had manipulated her friends to keep her away from that horrid Newton boy I hated and encouraged her to spend time with her girlfriends. I'd tried to protect her from Alice's exuberance, while still allowing them to spend time together.

I had written my love for her into music, given her my time, and time to herself. I had used my voice, my mouth, and my hands to encourage the physical reactions Bella's body had to me. I had done all that was in my power to make her want me including agreeing to end her human life and change her into a vampire. I had even agreed to make love to her - something that would both risk her life and our future together - and thus won her agreement to be my wife. And after everything, not two days after securing her promise, she had kissed Jacob Black in a way that she had never kissed me.

I had _tried_ to fight for her. I had lost. What did she want me to do now?

Her face still fierce, Bella threw herself into my arms. She climbed into my lap and locked her arms around my neck. "I don't care that it's cold here. I don't care that I stink like a dog right now. Make me forget how awful I am. Make me forget him. Make me forget my own name. Fight back!"

She kissed me. Bella's hands in my hair weren't gentle, her mouth wasn't soft and yielding, but she crushed herself to me with all of her human strength. I sucked in a sharp breath, felt a flame of desire burning through me, and had to fight not to crush her body against mine. Her warmth surrounded me and I heard her heart racing, smelled the adrenaline and hormones which were rapidly flowing throughout her body. Her mouth opened against mine and I felt her warm tongue tracing my lips.

I wanted – _desperately_ – to kiss her back, but I knew that if I opened my mouth to hers, I would taste _him._ Her sweet freesia scent, enhanced as it was by her lust, was marred by Jacob's death stench. With an army on the way to fight my family, a wolf prowling around the boulders to which I had attached the tent, and another who would return shortly, this was not the best time to get distracted.

I forced myself to push her away, murmuring, "Careful, love."

"No." Bella knew what I had just seen and appeared to be determined to erase that memory with one of our own. She pressed herself back against me, panting. Her hands moved all over me, sliding out of my hair, across my shoulders, and down my back. Her chest was pressed against mine and she squirmed until she wrapped her legs around me. This kiss was nothing like the one she had shared with Jacob. Though there had seemed to be a fiery joy in her then and the excitement of newly discovered love, there was a raging furnace within her now. Every place she touched me felt as though my skin was scalded by the heat of her emotions.

Taking hold of her face before I could succumb to her, I pushed her firmly away. "You don't have to prove anything to me."

"I'm not trying to prove something. You said I could have any part of you I wanted. I want this part. I want _every_ part." Still determined, she secured her arms around my neck and pulled my face back to hers.

The sting I'd felt from watching Jacob's memory was swept away and replaced with the thrill of victory. As had always been the case, Bella wanted _me._ Not Jacob. **_Me!_** Like I had told the mutt, I was hers and had always been, and Bella was _mine._ He could claim that I didn't own her, but if she willingly gave herself to me, who was I to argue? A fierce joy filling every part of me, I kissed her back, reveling in the feeling of her hands on my body, her lips against mine, and her heart beating against my chest. I shoved my hands into her silky hair and slowly let them trail down her back, curling my arms about her waist. I wanted very much to shift her body to the sleeping bag, to feel the length of her pressed against me, and to lose myself in her embrace, but Seth's mind showed me that he was drawing closer to us, and I didn't exactly want an audience.

My hands made their way back up to rest against her petal-soft cheeks. Stubbornly, I pushed her away from me a third time and firmly insisted, "Perhaps this isn't the best moment for that."

She narrowed her eyes and stopped trying to pull me against her. Her mouth twisted into an unhappy grimace, recognizing that I wasn't going to be swayed. "Why not?"

"Firstly, because it _is_ cold," I began.

"Wrong," she interrupted me. "First, because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire."

The morals and ethics I had grown up with were sadly lacking from most of the males of today's era. I doubted that any of the other boys Bella knew - Jacob included - would have refrained from acting when the girl they loved wanted to be intimate, no matter the circumstance. I, however, knew that there was a proper time and place for certain things, and this was not one of them. Laughing at her sour tone, I agreed with her, "All right, I'll give you that. The cold is second. And thirdly… well, you do stink, love." I felt my face twisting in disgust at the smell which lingered in her hair and clothes, and worse, the rotten taste of _him_ which was now on my lips and tongue. Although kissing her had felt like Heaven, she had tasted like death.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. Knowing that it _was_ going to happen, that she wanted it just as she wanted me, for once I couldn't wait for her to become a vampire and smell him for herself. _Then_ she'd understand.

"Fourthly." Knowing the young wolf was just outside of the tent, I moved my lips to her ear and whispered, "We _will_ try, Bella. I'll make good on my promise. But I'd much rather it wasn't in reaction to Jacob Black," I couldn't help saying sourly.

I saw her wince before she hid her face in my shoulder.

"And fifthly…"

"This is a very long list," she grumbled.

"Yes," I agreed with a laugh, "but did you want to listen to the fight, or not?"

Seth could hear me and Bella now, but he continued not to pay our murmured conversation any attention; his concentration was focused on the senses of his pack. Through them, I could at last smell the burning sweetness of the approaching army. Seth howled in frustration. Here he was, standing around bored on the mountain, while miles away, his family got to rip vampires apart. He could smell me, and his instincts were telling him to fight, too.

Bella's body jerked against mine and she scooted off my lap to sit stiffly beside me. I guessed she had forgotten the whole reason for our uncomfortable camping situation and chuckled again. Her fists were tightly clenched and I slid my hand into one of hers, carefully forcing it to loosen. I spread her fingers out, tracing each finger with my own until it relaxed.

"It's going to be fine, Bella. We've got skill, training, and surprise on our side. It will be over very soon. If I didn't truly believe that, I would be down there now – and you'd be here, chained to a tree or something along those lines," I teased her.

"Alice is so small," she said in a fearful voice.

I snickered. "That might be a problem… if it were possible for someone to catch her."

 _I should be there! I'm **not** a child._ Seth whimpered, his body yearning to throw itself after Jacob's trail to join in on the fight.

"What's wrong?" Bella cried, misinterpreting him.

"He's just angry that he's stuck here with us. He knows the pack kept him out of the action to protect him. He's salivating to join them."

Though he was outside of the tent and couldn't see it, Bella shot Seth a dirty look. I wasn't surprised. Bella was always more concerned with the safety of others than she was with her own, and I had little doubt that the young wolf's enthusiasm was irritating to her. Regardless of his frustration, he knew there was more to his post here than Sam's desire to protect him. They understood that, through him, I was able to keep track of what was happening with the army - or, at least, the half that the wolves would be fighting.

Ever since Carlisle had changed me, I had been forced to experience the senses of others. It had been useful to know what the humans around us were thinking since we'd needed to leave any time our anonymity had been threatened, but I didn't enjoy my ability and had always tried to block out what I perceived. Despite my efforts, I had never been truly successful. There had always been a certain degree of separation - a distinct difference between what I experienced for myself and what I experienced through someone else - but if they were within my range, there was nothing I could do to stop myself from hearing someone's thoughts.

However, when I'd been younger, I had actively attempted to surround myself with the senses of another person, tuning out my own senses until they were the echo that the others' normally were. It had been an experiment in learning to control my gift, and interesting as far as such things went, but hadn't really been useful as more than that. It wasn't a pleasant experience, nor one that I had cared to repeat, until now.

Concentrating on Seth's thoughts, I deliberately immersed myself in his senses. Though Seth was the only wolf there, his link to the pack meant that I was touching ten different minds. When I'd done this experiment with multiple people before, the subjects had been separate and distinct. Attempting to fully experience more than one mind at a time had been conflicting and disconcerting and ultimately self-defeating. It had only truly worked when I'd been able to focus on a single individual. Allowing what the wolves experienced to fill me was quite a different sensation, since Seth's mind and the pack's were interconnected. Their senses were open to each other so that what I found in one mind was multiplied, accentuated, and enhanced by seeing the same thing repeated in each of the others'.

Seth could hear my words as I began to describe to Bella what was happening. Through him, my voice was relayed to the rest of the pack, which only reinforced the sensation that I was there, with them, miles away from where my body sat. Only a vague part of me remaining in the tent with Bella, I felt strangely like a specter floating over the area of the forest where the pack waited. Seeing, hearing, and smelling through so many minds, the entire peninsula was revealed to me, from the mountain where Seth kept watch, to the forest near the clearing, and all the way to the coast where our youngest brothers protected the reservation. We waited patiently for the burning sweetness to get closer, wanting to be certain that it was the army this time, and not one of our allies again. We saw a sparkle hit a tree - an unnatural rainbow thrown from the skin of a monster.

Embry had been sent to wait by the head of the trail where Bella had left her scent. He stayed far away from the path where she had walked and, since he didn't act, we believed the future-seer's vision could not have been affected. We watched from our hidden vantage points while the army approached the scent-trail Bella had left. Without her trail, they would have continued directly on toward Forks, bypassing the ones they had been created to kill. Jacob may not have approved of the blond leech's suggestion to use Bella as bait, but his intimate knowledge of the newly made vampires' hunting instincts showed what a brilliant strategy it had been.

A ripple of excitement flowed between us in anticipation. The army followed Bella's scent until they seemed to grow wary and began to mill about. Apparently, they had found the scent of the others. Half of them continued on toward the clearing where the monsters-we-weren't-allowed-to-kill waited. The other half gave the clearing a wide berth, and we knew from the future-seer that they intended to attack from the opposite direction, forcing those we were allied with to fight on two fronts. To head them off, our Alpha had us circle around to where the future-seer had said her vision of them disappeared.

We heard a fierce roar, a voice we recognized as belonging to the biggest of _them._ We could detect an excitement that matched our own in his bellow. The newborns must have reached those who waited in the clearing. The half of the army that we were closing in on heard him as well, and veered to join the fight. The time had come for us to act. We would rip the monsters apart and take them to be burned. We were strong, fast, and the unnatural, dead creatures didn't even know we existed. We moved quickly, our huge paws gripping the earth, our bodies gliding between the trees like the wind. In front of us, there, at last, was a monster we _could_ kill!

It had been months since the last one - the black-haired leech - and there had been only one that time. We knew the stories of our tribe, the legends of the pack-before-us who had killed the stone creature the first time. Our teeth could severe their limbs, our strength could crush their bodies, but only fire could destroy them.

Aware of a strange, hard thumping that wasn't heard through our ears, I pulled away from the pack mind and looked at Bella. Her heart was pounding, trying to circulate the oxygen that remained in her system from her last breath, which had apparently been some time ago.

"Breathe, Bella."

Her beautiful melted chocolate eyes were wide and anxious, and were fixed on my face, but she pulled in a shaky breath and nodded at me. Reassured that Bella was okay, I immersed myself into the minds of the wolves, once again losing any sense of _me_ among the pack's many.

We could hear sounds of rocks colliding and heard a big, booming laugh that echoed through the forest. There was a horrid, metallic screeching that hurt our ears. One of us, Paul, whined in frustrated excitement.

_…get on with the fight already._

_Patience,_ our Alpha counseled.

We were getting closer to the dead monsters. They moved with unnatural speed, blurs of white against the green background of the forest, their skin throwing rainbows through the trees every time the sun shattered against their stone skin. We didn't want them to see us before we were in position to attack. Gaining on them as we ran through the forest, we were stealthy, we were swift, we were Death seeking the dead. We were going to _end_ them!

They paused their approach to the clearing and we got close enough to hear their softly spoken words, which were high pitched and strangely musical, yet they were more like broken instruments. The sound was jarring to our sensitive ears.

_"Remember what we agreed: their pet is yours and mine! We're not gonna share her with any of them."_

_"We need to hurry, then. Riley said the girl'd be there fer sure, but you know how much Raoul wanted to drink her. If he gets to her first, there'll be none left for us."_

_"That idiot? He's prob'ly too busy tryin' to keep hisself alive."_

_"Well, we should hurry, anyways. The human won't last long if any of the others gets to her before us."_

_"Oh, man, I can smell her from here, I swear!"_

_"I know, I know. Her blood smells... Mmmm."_ A shudder ran through the bloodsucker's body.

_"C'mon, c'mon! Hurry up, you all! We're gonna miss the fun!"_

_"Sounds like they're tearin' those weird yellow-eyes apart, alright."_

"Their _fate ain't important! The girl. We gotta kill the girl."_

_"Damn right, we do. Her blood is mine!"_

"Ours."

_"Er, yeah. Ours. What I meant."_

Furious, I pulled myself out of the pack mind again, needing to see that Bella was still safe. I couldn't shake the sense of impending danger, despite the fact that we were miles away from the fight.

Bella's eyes were still locked on my face. "What?"

"They're talking about you." I forced the words through my clenched teeth. "They're supposed to make sure you don't escape…"

My attention was caught when I felt Seth's fear for and jealousy of his sister.

We saw the dead creatures grin at each other, and crouch in preparation to sprint toward the clearing. Jacob was running at a full sprint, coming at the army from the south. He had nearly joined us, but his speed wasn't as silent as our stealthy pursuit had been. We saw one of their heads whip toward us, its nostrils flaring. Determined to keep the leech from giving away our position, our sister launched herself at it. She was faster than the dead monster and it never had the chance to see her before her teeth were locked around its throat.

_Nice move, Leah!_

We felt her pleasure in our leader's frank approval. She shook her head, her teeth tearing through his cold, stone flesh with a loud, metallic screech like the ones we were hearing from the clearing. Not quite severed, his head flopped off to one side, and an expression of shock crossed his face.

 _Ugh! **Gross.** It burns! Blech, blech._ She flicked her tongue, trying to spit out the horrid taste. _How can they taste worse than they_ smell?! _Yuck!_

He lunged for her, but with his head hanging at an angle, the leech's aim was off. Avoiding the grasping arms, she sprang at his neck a second time and his head fell to the ground. We saw that the creature's body wasn't dead, though his head was grimacing at her from where it lay at her feet. She stared at it in horror, meeting its bright red eyes. We watched it blink and move its mouth in what were obviously meant to be screamed insults, but with no lungs to push air through the creature's ruined throat, it was soundless.

Transfixed by the sight of the severed head that was still somehow alive - or at least _moving_ \- Leah was oblivious to the danger his body still presented. We saw it stumbling toward her and Sam crashed into the creature, throwing it away from Leah, whom it had been about to grab onto and crush.

_Concentrate! We have to make sure it can't get its head back._

Tearing herself away from the creature's red eyes, she spun to help Sam destroy the rest of it. The two of us grabbed an arm each and pulled, our teeth tearing through the stone skin. The arm Sam held came off first, and the vile parasite fell as Leah shook him. Sam pounced on his chest, holding him in place so that Leah was able to twist off the arm she held. We grabbed onto its legs next, ripping it down the middle, so that one leg and half of a headless torso with the flopping stump of an arm was held in each of our mouths. The sound of metal buckling under pressure hurt our ears, but was unimportant. We threw the pieces away, making sure they weren't close to any other part of its body before bounding away to end another creature.

As we had only destroyed the one, there were still eight of them when Jacob finally joined us, bringing our number up to seven. Paul and Jacob got one of those who had been heard planning Bella's death. Emulating our brother and sister, we took hold of an arm in each of our mouths and twisted as we pulled, ripping the thing's limbs off. It screamed, but the sound of Sam and Leah tearing the first one apart had already alerted the others to our presence. The severed arm Paul held was grasping at him, and he whined as it grabbed a handful of his fur. He held it just above the elbow and shook his head vigorously. The hand lost its grip and he dropped it, using his paws to hold the arm down while he crushed its fingers. Quil and Embry saw one running toward him and moved engage her, but she hesitated. She'd seen the fate of the other one and was wary and confused.

_The blond leech was right; these parasites have no idea what to make of us._

_Well, I know what to make of_ them!

_Over here!_

_No, let Sam lead._

_There's one on your left, I'll get it._

_No, stay out of the way._

_This one's mine!_

_Drive 'em toward the clearing._

_Don't let them get too close to each other._

_Watch that one!_

_Nah, I've got it._

_Careful! Those two are gonna gang up on you._

_Separate them._

_Uh-huh, you push her that way. I'll chase him the other._

_That bloodsucker said they wouldn't be loyal to each other._

_Yeah, well, he might notta been wrong, but seems they'll cooperate outta self-preservation._

_Don't let them protect each other's backs._

_Yup, I'll go for his arm, you get the leg, an' let Jared drive that one away._

We moved as one, pushing the remaining monsters away from each other and toward the clearing, where they would meet their end in fire.

Jared dove toward the one nearest him and took hold of a leg, crushing through the limb with his strong jaw and sharp teeth. It fell, unbalanced and screaming. It reached for us, and we danced out of the way, snarling in defiance. We grabbed for one of the outstretched arms and tore off a hand. He kicked out, catching us in the hind leg. We felt a flare of pain, but it was minor, an annoyance. The creature hadn't the leverage to do real damage, and his counter-attack only served to enrage us further. We tore his other arm away, crushing through his stone flesh while he batted at us with the stump of the one we'd already bitten.

The hand Jared had torn off was pulling itself back toward its body and we pounced on it, crushing the fingers and ending its ability to reunite with itself. Focused on the tick we were shredding, we didn't see that another of the creatures was bearing down on us. Paul sped over to help, throwing himself between the approaching tick and our brother. We circled each other and the thing lunged at us. Expecting us to be no faster than a normal wolf, it missed us and we scooted around behind it, jumping on its back, and shoving it's face into the dirt. It flailed its limbs, but we held it in place while Quil bounded over to sink his teeth into the creature's throat.

One by one, we ripped the creatures apart, crushing their extremities and flinging the bits and pieces away from the whole. We were going to win; this had been _easy!_

Miles away, our brother who waited with the mind-reading leech was watching the fight along with us when he smelled a burning that was a different flavor from the one who hid in the tent.

Pulling myself out of the pack's mind, I was abruptly in the small tent again with Bella's hand clasped securely in mine. I smelled the burning sweetness through Seth's senses, confirming that a vampire was close.

And it wasn't _me._


	37. Victoria

_"Listen! Do you smell that?" - Dr. Raymond Stantz_

* * *

**Victoria**

In a panic, I cast my mind out, listening for the source of the icy sweetness that Seth had detected. I shouldn't have been surprised to find that there was more than one vampire that had found us, nor should it have shocked me to discover they weren't some random newborns. There were two, and I knew them both.

One I knew only by his scent, but the other was more familiar to me. I had heard her thoughts in passing on the baseball field the day that James had decided to hunt my Bella, though it had been his mind I'd been focused on at the time. The elusive sweetness that I had chased through Phoenix before following her trail of murder into Houston, that I had smelled in the clearing a year ago when we'd first been confronted by James's coven, that I had caught in the forest as she'd tested the boundary lines that separated us from the wolves, that I knew without a doubt was coming from Victoria, was carried by the light breeze directly toward Seth. Along with hers was that of the intruder who had broken into Bella's house a few months earlier.

Bella had been right about _everything:_ the newborns, Victoria, the reason her clothes had been taken, and who had taken them. My Bella, whose clear eyes saw through to the heart of the matter, who never missed any details, who – this time at least – had been the only one to see the bigger picture and recognize the glaring truth. Bella had known all along. Victoria had come for her. She was the one behind everything.

Of _course_ she was!

Faster than Bella could have seen, I reached up and ripped the tent in half, tearing through the tarp as well. I gripped her carefully and pulled the fragile human girl to her feet beside me.

Seth bounded over as the tent fell in shreds around us. He stared into my eyes, his body quivering in excitement.

… _two, I smell two. They come from the south, from the direction of your scent-trail here. Sam's busy with the army an' the pack can't leave, an' they couldn't make it here in time anyways._ I _can help you. I'm fast like my sister. You need me! Please,_ please _let me take one!_

I nodded. Of course the young wolf could help me! Bella's life was in danger and I wasn't stupid enough to refuse Seth's help. I could defeat these two on my own, I was sure, but not before one of them got past me. A single second was all that it would take and Bella would be dead.

_I'll go around 'em, sneak up from behind, take one by surprise while you distract 'em, and then you can kill the other._

"Go, Seth!" I prompted him in a harsh whisper. As promised, he was swift. Perhaps not as fast as his sister, but fast enough. Aside from his lingering scent, the swirls of disturbed snow that had been flung up by his paws as he leapt away were the only evidence that he'd ever been there.

Following my trail from the south, Seth had said. How could I have been so stupid? I knew how to disguise my trail; I could have swum or waded up the rivers rather than spring over them. What did I care if I got wet? I could have leapt from treetop to treetop, obscuring my trail if not completely hiding it. But had I bothered doing so? No. The army had been after Bella, not me. _I_ wasn't in danger. _I_ was no delicious-smelling human. What cause had the vampire army to hunt for _me?_ The very idea that I wasn't perfectly safe was absurd. Cocky and sure of my family's ability to fight off the newborns, I had failed to recognize that they weren't the real threat.

Why had I refused to see that Bella was right? We had known that the vampire behind everything was using the holes in Alice's vision to orchestrate things. Victoria had had plenty of opportunities to experiment when making her feints at Bella. She'd been testing us, I belatedly realized, probing the edges of our territory and our abilities. And now, she'd sent her army after my family, hoping they would kill as many of us as possible. She'd resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn't be able to kill me herself as she had wanted, but so long as I died, that would have to suffice. Only, not before I saw Bella die, if she could manage it. Of course, Bella seeing me die first would be fine by her, too. If they had killed me first, I would have died knowing that Bella's death wouldn't be far behind. Either way, she would be satisfied to know that we would feel the other's loss before our own far too quick end.

Yet never had she imagined that I would separate myself from my family. She'd thought for sure that I would be there in the clearing, fighting alongside my family while being forced to watch as the newborns picked us off, one by one. I saw the memory in her mind: Victoria had crept up to the edge of the clearing and had watched in satisfaction as her children attacked my family. Only half of them were there just yet, but the others were on their way, preparing to come at us from two sides.

She'd intended to wait and watch, anticipating seeing my family get ripped to pieces, and had wondered which of her children would be the lucky one to kill the human girl she knew would be with me. Only I wasn't there! And neither was the girl! Furious at my escape, she'd slunk around the edge of the clearing, smelling me, and the girl, and the rest of my family, and even the vile wolves that infested the area, but the scents were all days old. She'd heard the sound of Emmett bellowing in rage, and had heard the distinctive screeching that meant a vampire was being dismembered. Certain that her newborns would succeed, she'd concentrated on tracking, just as she had seen James do so many times before.

Then, ecstatic at her luck, she'd found a newer trail: mine. She hadn't smelled the girl, but that didn't matter. Victoria wanted me dead and knew that, though she couldn't smell her, she was sure to find Bella with me. Instantly, she'd decided that now was the time to involve herself. She'd followed my trail south, leaping over the rivers just as I had, with her companion by her side. She'd kept him with her, knowing what an accomplished fighter I was – I had killed her mate, after all, a feat she would never before have thought possible – and she wanted his support and assistance.

In truth, it had been my brothers who had killed James, not me. However, I _had_ stopped him from killing Bella, and had fought with him until they'd arrived. If not for me, he would have been fine. My brothers' involvement was irrelevant to her, if she even knew of it. As far as she was concerned, I was to blame for everything.

She was right, of course; I was always to blame. I was a monster, a killer. I had always known this to be true. I had killed three times already this year, and before that I had killed hundreds, maybe even thousands. I didn't know anymore; I had stopped keeping track long ago. But I wasn't the only predator in these mountains. Today Bella and I were the ones being hunted, and the predators outnumbered me.

I saw the plan in Victoria's mind: she would use her companion to distract me. Riley, the name was supplied by her when she thought of him in scorn. And while I fought him off, she'd dart around me and snap Bella's neck. She wouldn't bother drinking her right then; that would take too much time. She didn't doubt that I would kill Riley ... _good riddance..._ but once Bella was dead and I was distracted by my grief, she would rip my head off, then my arms and legs.

My death was as vivid in her mind as though I was watching one of Alice's visions. One by one, she would burn my fingers and toes, then my legs and arms, slowly turning me into ashes while I watched, helpless, unable to even scream. And as I watched myself burn, she would position my head so that I could also watch her drink the blood of the human girl she had been aching to kill for so long. The scene was so real in Victoria's mind that I could feel the heat tingle in my extremities as though the fire had already been lit. Only when Bella was drained and the last bits of me were burning would she throw my head in, completing my death at long last.

 _No_. Absolutely not!

She didn't know that the wolves were our allies. Though she'd smelled them around the clearing, she'd seen us fighting each other. I could almost thank Paul for warding off Emmett when I'd taken Bella to Florida. Victoria had watched in satisfaction as she'd pitted her two enemies against each other: the wolves who had killed her friend Laurent, and the coven who had killed her mate, James.

The middle of the ruined tent where I had spent one of the worst nights of my long life was not a strategically sound place to confront the vindictive vampire. My arm was still wrapped around Bella, and I tightened my grip on her waist, holding her firmly against my side as I zipped around one of the huge boulders I had used to anchor the tent. I carefully placed her with her back against the boulder and crouched in front of her. My muscles were coiled and tensed to spring as I waited, listening and watching through the mind of my enemy as she slunk up the side of the mountain only a few feet away from where the tent lay in ruins. She could smell more of the vile wolves, but their scents had been all over the mountain range, and she was unsurprised to find their stench here, as well.

 _...weakling coven can't even protect their territory from a bunch of dogs... if you can even call the habitats of rats and squirrels_ hunting _territory..._

For months, I had longed to end the life of the vampire that had dared to hunt the girl I loved. Though I knew what it had cost me when I'd killed before, I had ached to be able to kill, just once more. Faster than any living creature, with senses far more acute than my prey, not to mention the added ability to see inside of their minds, I was the world's most dangerous predator - or, at least, one of them. However, I hadn't counted on my sweet, innocent Bella being there to _watch_. Especially after having secured her promise to be my wife, and after she had rejected Jacob even though she had finally realized her feelings for him, the last thing I wanted was for her to see me for the monster that I had always known myself to be. I had never wanted her to see me as a killer in action.

Whether I wanted it or not, Bella was going to witness exactly that. Well, that or my death. My speed and mind reading aside, the skills I'd gained from Jasper notwithstanding, I was outnumbered, and the one who stalked me was more dangerous than any other creature I'd ever pitted myself against before. Cunning, full of hatred for me, but calculating rather than reckless, Victoria was patient, and willing to sacrifice any companions she had. What's more, she had nothing to lose, while what she sought to take from me was everything. What she sought was Bella's death and regardless of my audience, it was either let Bella see me as I killed, or watch _her_ be killed instead.

I wasn't about to let _that_ happen.

"Who?" Bella's voice was full of fear, though she only spoke the one word, and I knew that she had understood at once: we were under attack.

"Victoria," I growled furiously. This was my fault! I had let her escape. Instead of chasing the ferocious vampire, I had dallied in Phoenix when I'd _known_ that she was connected to Bella. That I hadn't known exactly how didn't matter. I should have seen what a threat she was. I should have concentrated on tracking her. Bella had been lost to me at the time; what good had stalking her past done for me? I could have ended this long ago, but no.

"She's not alone. She crossed my scent, following the newborns in to watch – she never meant to fight with them. She made a spur-of-the-moment decision to find me, guessing that you would be wherever I was. She was right. You were right. It was always Victoria."

I heard my voice in Victoria's mind as I spoke, and felt her thrill of victory. She loved that I had known that she was coming, that I had apparently lived in fear of her, that I knew she was to be the instrument of my death. I heard Bella's heart stumble and then break into a sprint. The scent of her fear-induced adrenaline filled the air, but she didn't speak again, waiting with me in silence for the vampires to show themselves.

I watched through their eyes as they surveyed the ruined tent.

_How cute. Taking his human camping. As if he ever had any hope of escaping me. James was the best tracker to ever live, and I learned much from him over our years. I could have found him even if he'd taken her around the world to hide from me. Here, on this mountain, a few measly miles from my army of newborns, he never stood a chance._

… _and yes, I know you can hear me, you bastard. You got lucky with James, but your luck has just run out. Your coven is dying as you stand here, helplessly waiting on me to end your miserable existence. You are outnumbered and encumbered by your ridiculous_ pet!

Deliberately, she pictured the clearing and the battle she knew was being waged there. I saw, similar to Alice's vision, my mother's headless corpse on the ground, my father, in pieces and scattered across the field, Emmett with a newborn on each arm, each leg, and one at his head, screaming as they slowly tore him apart. I saw Jasper's head flying through the air while his body stumbled about, tripping over his mate's corpse. My pixie sister's body lay in bits and pieces on the ground, and beside her lay my other sister. Rosalie's golden hair was obscuring her oddly shaped head, which seemed to have been crushed.

I bared my teeth, snarling in defiance of this vision. It wasn't true! Seth, whom I could still hear, was connected to the pack. Leaving behind a forest full of twitching body parts, they had driven the two newborns that they had yet to kill into the clearing. In their minds, I saw my family gathering the pieces of the vampires who had all died by their hands. The two that the wolves were harassing were all that remained of Victoria's army. As they backed away from the approaching wolves, I saw through the pack's mind as Emmett and Rosalie leapt across the field. Rose landed on the back of one, shoving his face into the earth. She held the newborn down while Emmett ripped his legs off with a fierce yell. The pack converged on the final newborn who never stood a chance.

None of my family had been harmed. None of the pack were injured. The army was destroyed. All that was left was the worst of the threat, creeping out of the trees directly in front of me. Victoria's flat black eyes were fixed on Bella's. I saw my beloved's face in the feral vampire's mind. Bella's eyes were wide with fear, her face pale and bloodless. She was so pale, she could have been a vampire herself except that - unlike Victoria, Riley, or myself - the sun did not break against her skin.

Even in this situation, I could appreciate how the sun kissed Bella's fair skin, how she seemed to absorb its warmth, how her hair shined red in the light. She was the most beautiful being to ever grace the Earth, an angel sent directly from Heaven to live among us - who had chosen to live with _me_ \- and there was no way I was going to allow her to be harmed by the approaching demons.

Beside Victoria was the vampire I'd smelled once before. He was the one who had broken into Charlie's house when Alice had held Bella hostage at mine. I felt a moment's relief once again that I had been so protective of her. The vampire wasn't a newborn, like those who had been set on my family, but he was young enough. Based on his bright red eyes, I doubted he was long past his first year. It hadn't been much more than that since we'd killed James, so I thought that made a lot of sense; if Victoria had changed him soon after losing her mate, he _should_ be about a year old. I thought it rather impressive that he'd left Charlie alive those months earlier. She must have made a very strong impression upon him to keep him from acting on that day.

He was physically older than I had been when Carlisle had changed me, but not by much. However, that was where our reseblence ended. His hair was blond and neatly trimmed, and he was more muscular, though not as much as Emmett. His lips were twisted into a pleased smirk, and I caught his pleasure at his plans to prove himself to Victoria by defeating me. The young man was allowing the red-headed vampire to lead the way, keeping her as well as me and Bella in his line of sight. Both sets of eyes - the flat black of Victoria and the bright red of Riley - were fixed on Bella.

Seth was running silently through the woods, carrying out his plan to come at them from the side. The two vampires had no idea he was there, and I needed to distract them quickly. Victoria would not wait much longer before instructing Riley to take me, and once I was fending him off, she would go for Bella.

The pack's duties carried out, they focused on Seth's mind, and I heard the victory in their thoughts as they focused on his.

... _tell the bloodsucker that he can bring Bella to the clearing, now._

... _took them_ down! _Did ya see me, huh, didjya?_

... _got two, all by myself!_

... _yeah, with my help..._

...' _kay,_ one _by myself, one with you..._

... _quiet! The fight isn't over!_

... _of course it is... we got all of them._

... _No! Bella's in danger! We've been found. She's come_ here!

_...the bloodsucker can't take care of one measly newborn?_

_...weird, though, right? How'd it even find them?_

_...She followed Edward. It's that red-head we've been chasin'. And there's another that smells like the one from Charlie's house..._

As Seth relayed his message, finally making the excited pack see the danger that remained, I heard Jacob's panicked howl, echoing through the mountain range, to where we waited.

… _should have stayed! Made_ sure _that bloodsucker protected her! Seth can't kill two on his own! I've gotta_ go!

 _No! Stay here, Jacob._ I heard a resonating timbre to the tone of Sam's voice and felt an odd compulsion to join them in the clearing. _We'd never make it there in time, and we need you here to help clean up._

Jacob knew the truth of that statement as he saw a dismembered arm grasping at a the torso to which it had once been attached. He stared in disgust as it aligned itself with the uneven stump, and then the two were one. Though they had stopped all of the newborns, the battle would not be over until the last pieces were smoldering ashes. Jacob threw himself at the newly reattached arm with a growl and hauled it and the mangled chest toward the fire my family was just starting.

Knowing that we were on our own, I had to distract Riley, to buy time for Seth to get into a position from which he could best attack Victoria's companion. Riley looked at her, waiting for her signal to attack. She jerked her chin toward me, wordlessly telling him that the time was now. Her eyes hadn't left Bella's, and I could smell her through the feral vampire's senses. My throat was raked with fire from the echo of her thirst, and also that of her young companion's. I ignored the burn; it wasn't important. I'd felt worse, to be sure. All but immune to the smell of Bella's blood now – no matter how delicious I still found her scent to be – the human girl's very presence was a weapon, just as Jasper had foreseen.

 _They_ were distracted by her. Their thirst and the compulsion to feed were nearly uncontrollable. Bella's unique and powerful scent, stronger than normal with her fear, filled the space around us and held their attention. I knew that it wouldn't be much longer before Victoria's young companion would give in to his desires and throw himself at either Bella to drink, or me to challenge. Only the need to follow the instructions of the creature he regarded as his mate were keeping him from surrendering to his basic instincts.

"Riley," I said softly, and felt his shock.

... _know my name? …the mind reader! She was right!_

"She's lying to you," I rebutted. "Listen to me. She's lying to you just like she lied to the others who are dying now in the clearing. You know that she's lied to them, that she had _you_ lie to them, that neither of you were ever going to help them. Is it so hard to believe that she's lied to you, too?"

... _how can he know that? No. He's wrong. Our army is killing the weakling coven. We trained and prepared them well..._

I saw his intention to move toward me, to come at me from one direction, giving Victoria room to come at me from another. Just before he could move, I shifted, keeping Victoria and Riley evenly spaced in front of me, allowing neither one to be in a position which would allow them to kill Bella. He stopped in confusion, not having expected my movement to block him.

I'd learned how to make my voice compelling long ago, and had perfected the skill when trying to get Bella to tell me about her past. In our early days together, she'd been so shy, and my curiosity had burned as strong as my thirst for her. I knew how to bend the humans to my will, and had used my voice to dazzle people on many occasions before. I also knew that - although not quite as effective - it was possible to dazzle another vampire. Now, I used that same tactic on this young man. I didn't really need to convince him, so long as I kept him distracted long enough for Seth to act.

"She doesn't love you, Riley," I continued. "She never has. She loved someone named James, and you're no more than a tool to her."

... _dare you speak his name! He was a thousand times the vampire that you are! You are weak, nothing compared to him!_

Victoria's lips pulled back from her teeth at the mention of her dead mate's name. She didn't spare a glance for the vampire at her side, who was looking at her in confusion.

... _James?_

I had to bring his attention back to me. "Riley?"

His eyes instantly found mine, again.

"She knows I will kill you, Riley. She _wants_ you to die so that she doesn't have to keep up the pretense anymore."

I watched carefully as he flickered through his memories of their time together. He'd lean in to kiss her, but she'd turn her head away at the last moment. And when they'd made love, it had been glorious! ...until he'd seen the strange dead look in her eyes.

"Yes – " I latched on to his memories, gratefully. "You've seen that, haven't you? You've read the reluctance in her eyes, suspected a false note in her promises. You were right. She's never wanted you. Every kiss, every touch was a lie."

While I spoke, I saw Victoria's plans changing in her mind. No longer willing to wait for Riley to attack, especially if I could convince him not to, she considered how close Bella was to me. If she attacked me, all she would need was a second to reach around me and snap her neck.

Feeling fear fill my body at the image of Bella's death in Victoria's mind, I inched away from her, fighting the instinct to stay as close to her as possible.

_Edward! Edward, I can't get through... You're too close to Bella... I'll hurt her if I try... or expose myself to them too early... don't want to push you out of the way, but... you need to move!_

I saw Seth's perception of the way we were positioned and considered the angle of his approach from behind the rocks.

Seth wanted to attack Riley, understanding from my speech that Victoria was the leader and willing to leave her to me, but in order for the wolf to have a clear line at him, I would have to move farther away from Bella. Steeling myself, I slid my feet closer to Victoria, which was fine by everyone involved. Riley crept further from the red-headed vampire, putting him almost directly in Seth's line of sight.

More than willing to kill him myself if I had to, or to allow Seth to do so, I knew that it would be easier if I _could_ win Riley over to our side. If he could recognize Victoria's lies, he might just attack her in his fury with her betrayal.

"You don't have to die," I assured him. "There are other ways to live than the way she's shown you. It's not all lies and blood, Riley. You can walk away right now. You don't have to die for her lies." I knew that Carlisle would be pleased to teach this young man about our way of life, if he were willing to learn. We could forgive him for his part in this attack. He was nothing more than a pawn, Victoria's way of getting around Alice's vision. None of this was his doing. I scooted closer to Victoria, and Riley shifted, moving so that I was kept almost evenly between them.

 _...just a little more..._ Seth urged me.

"Last chance, Riley."

The young vampire looked at Victoria again, pleading with his eyes that she fight for him. She hadn't said a word to contradict my accusations, and he was worried. My words matched his own memories and insecurities. She'd explained that I was a mind-reader, and he could hear the evidence of that for himself.

... _can read my mind, could he read hers? And if he can, is he telling the truth?_

"He's the liar, Riley," Victoria finally said. "I told you about their mind tricks. You know I love only you."

Her voice was soothing to him despite the way the high pitch grated on my ears. Though he could hear the persuasiveness of my voice, it seemed to him to be deliberate – and it was – where hers was the first voice he'd heard upon waking to this new life.

 _He's the liar,_ Riley repeated to himself.

I saw him remembering all of the things she had promised him, how he'd watched everything she'd ever told him come true. The human feasting, the talents he'd discovered, both his own new abilities and the few special abilities he'd found among his newborns, the thrill of the hunt, the new and powerful feeling of holding lives in his hands, of shaping those lives into an army under his control. She'd given him free rein, had promised to be his queen and to set him up as king.

I knew as his eyes met mine again that he refused to believe me. What reason did he have to trust anything I said? Everything she'd ever told him he'd seen come true. That I was a mind reader only made him distrust me more. Capable of seeing what lies would work the best, I could look into his mind and use what I saw to my advantage. He decided he would destroy me, and then he would rule over Seattle with Victoria by his side, just as she'd promised.

I inched closer to Victoria, opening up just a bit more room between myself and Bella, seeing through Seth's eyes and feeling him prepare to attack. Victoria was waiting for this, for me to get close enough to her that her swift attack would be over before I saw it in her mind. She was firmly keeping Bella's death and mine in her mind, deliberately not thinking anymore of _how_ she would do it, only picturing the end result.

Riley tensed to spring at me. Seth took this as his cue. He could wait no longer, or it would be too late. I felt him gather his courage, felt the confidence his pack sent to him through the strength of his species and their unique bond, and heard a wild snarl rip from him as he lunged forward.

His young body filled with purpose and adrenaline, Seth sprinted through the space I had opened between Bella and myself and lunged at Riley. The two toppled to the ground with Seth on top of the young vampire. His teeth were flashing and snapping, trying to get to Riley's neck. In shock, the vampire tried to fend the ferocious wolf off with his hands, but Seth grabbed onto his wrist and crushed the bones. Wrenching his head to the side, he tore the hand away. Like his sister, he found the taste repulsive. Eager to get rid of the offensive flavor, he flung the hand he held over his shoulder, where I heard it hit the boulder behind Bella and land near her feet.

"No!" Victoria screamed. _Why did it have to go for Riley and not the damn_ Cullen!

Ignoring the burning taste, Seth continued trying to get his teeth around the vampire's neck, but he was hitting the wolf with the stump of his arm and using a fistful of fur to hold him off with his remaining hand. Seth kept scraping small pieces off, his strong teeth grazing down the stone-like skin on his arm, but unable to gain the angle and leverage needed to dismember him further. Sam had been right to keep Seth out of the main fight; I could tell that he didn't have the strength or the reach of his older pack members.

Not bothering to look at the young man who was fighting for his life only feet away from her, Victoria groaned, "No," again. _…can't let her live! She won't get away from me… and whichever of them wins…_ She carefully shielded her thoughts from me, but I caught an image of Seth turning to attack me next, leaving Riley in pieces on the ground.

I grinned at her, knowing that wouldn't happen. Refusing to rise to my taunting expression, she crept to one side, away from the snarling pair on the ground. I shifted, keeping myself between the ferocious vampire and my fiance.

… _can't win. You're outnumbered. Either I will kill you, or Riley will, or the werewolf. Leave now, let me have the human, and I might just let you live…_ She feinted to one side, then lunged to the other. I was already there, blocking her, and she backed away. Slinking back and forth, she was maneuvering me closer to the pair on the ground.

Riley got in a sharp jab at Seth, and I was aware of a flare of pain in his shoulder. Riley rolled away from the wolf and leapt to his feet, kicking out at his shoulder again, and I heard the crunch as Seth felt the bone crack with the force of the kick. Pain seared down my arm and I flexed my hand in an attempt to shake off the sensation, knowing I was only feeling Seth's pain. _I_ was not injured, and the wolf was already healing.

Riley spread his arms, crouching and grimacing. I wanted to laugh at him. He'd never lost a limb before, and the sensation of being in more than one place at a time was disconcerting. He kept feeling his hand flexing, but it wasn't there. I heard a rustling on the ground behind me and knew it was his hand, moving with jerking spasms on the leaf covered ground.

Seth limped to the side, trying to keep out of my way, while advancing on Riley again. He lunged, just as he'd seen his sister do and grabbed onto the stump, ripping more of that arm off and flinging it through the air. Riley screamed, unable to comprehend how a mere animal was able to hurt _him_.

Victoria was backing away, luring me away from the girl I was protecting. If she could get me into the trees, she thought she could use them to get around me, killing Bella and running away before I could stop her. I mirrored every step that she made, seeing them in her mind before she moved. Like Alice had done when sparing with Jasper, I danced with my enemy, anticipating her moves, and leading her in a deadly ballet.

… _want to kill her so much!_ The thought in her mind was nearly a sob. Her pain at losing her mate – a pain I was all too familiar with – filled her mind, and her body strained against her instincts. She was torn, _needing_ Bella to die, but determined to live, as she always did. I felt her gift working. Like most talents that I had experienced before, it was a strange sensation. More than an instinct, not quite an ability to see the future like Alice's, she felt a sensation of _wrongness_ as she contemplated lunging at me.

I heard her thinking of various scenarios, ways to go around me, through me, over me, anything that would accomplish her aim, trying to find one that felt right. The only one that seemed to accomplish that was for her to run away and never come back – something that she couldn't abide.

"Don't go, Victoria. You'll never get another chance like this," I taunted her, practically crooning as I used my voice to its fullest persuasive potential.

She hissed, baring her teeth at me. She stopped moving away, while I crept a step closer to her, and then another. ... _so close!_ She growled at me, seeming incapable of speech, but her mental voice was flowing and deadly, like the venom I could taste in my mouth. _...can't hide her forever. You will live forever looking for me over your shoulder until the day when I end you_ both! _But, oh, I want her right now. Then again, i _f I don't end her today, there is always tomorrow..._ Surely I can find a way around..._

"You can always run later," I countered. "Plenty of time for that. It's what you do, isn't it? It's why James kept you around."

Deliberately, I downplayed her relationship with her mate. She had loved James, just as Riley loved her, but in neither case did I believe the feeling was returned. They were a triangle the opposite of my own with Bella and Jacob.

"Useful, if you like to play deadly games. A partner with an uncanny instinct for escaping. He shouldn't have left you – he could have used your skills when we caught up to him in Phoenix."

She hissed through her teeth. _You know_ nothing _of James! We were in love for longer than you've even been alive!_

"That's all you ever were to him, though," I argued. "Silly to waste so much energy avenging someone who had less affection for you than a hunter for his mount. You were never more than a convenience to him. I would know." Tapping the side of my head, I smirked at her.

A pain-filled shriek escaped her and she launched herself toward me, swerving at the last second to try to reach Bella. I saw her plan and stepped around her, blocking the way. She wove back and forth, darting to the left, and then the right, edging backwards and then lunging forward again, trying to get around me, but each time, I was there first. I could see her planning each move, and there was no way I was going to allow her to get even close to my Bella.

Pain seared through my hip this time, and I was aware of a low yelping from Seth, though he panted, _I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay_. Riley had gotten in a lucky punch and Seth's back leg was hurting. He played the injury up, limping and twitching as he backed away. I watched through Riley's eyes as the young wolf retreated toward me and Bella while he advanced on the wolf, taking advantage of his apparent injury.

Seth lured him away from the trees, closer to Bella and myself, but into a better position from which he could attack the young vampire. Victoria stopped advancing on me, watching eagerly as Seth got closer to me. Each step Seth took allowed Riley to get closer to Bella. Victoria didn't take her eyes off of me, but a vampire's vision could see a great deal of detail. Though I was concentrating on Victoria, I could see the trees behind her, the lakes in the distance, and the rainbows that our skin was throwing onto the ground, the boulders, and the snow. She didn't need to look directly at Riley to watch him anymore than I did.

As Seth inched closer to me, I felt the excitement in Victoria's mind and saw an image of the wolf ripping my head off. Through her eyes, I watched Seth get closer to me until I felt his tail brushing against my back. He continued to stay focused on Riley, growling low in his chest. His lips were pulled away from his teeth which he snapped in warning whenever the vampire got too close to Bella. The strange sensations of having his hand moving about on the ground and a part of the same arm laying several feet away from himself made Riley wary, and he backed away in fear from the wolf's razor-sharp teeth.

... _attack. He has to attack! Why isn't he attacking him?! Come on! Turn around you dumb mutt!_

"No, he won't turn on me. You provided us with a common enemy. You allied us." I grinned and edged closer to Victoria, giving the wolf more maneuvering room.

She ground her teeth together, furious and confused. ... _not possible! No werewolf has ever befriended a vampire! We have been enemies since the dawn of time. It's practically programmed for them to hate us, and humans, too! Why? How? He should have attacked the human by now, driven by his need to increase his numbers, like all of their kind are. James told me..._

I saw in her mind an image that I had only ever before seen as a drawing that Carlisle remembered studying during his time among the Volturi. She was remembering James killing a large wolf that was somehow _not_ a wolf. It had been rather like a monkey with its long forearms, or a bear with its hulking body. And yet, the image was very wolf-like with its long muzzle full of sharp teeth and the way it had walked upon its toes rather than its feet due to the distinctly shaped hind legs of a dog. The creature Victoria remembered was truly a monster, for despite its animalistic appearance, there was an odd human quality to the shape of its head, its eyes, and its ears. She remembered it slinking and skittering across the snow with its tail tucked between its legs as James lunged at and harassed the beast.

"Look more closely, Victoria. Is he really so much like the monster James tracked across Siberia?" The Quileute wolves were wolves. Gigantic, to be sure, able to become wolf or human, yes, but in their animal form, they were _wolves_ , indistinguishable from their animal cousins in shape and form.

She stared at Seth, recognizing for the first time what Carlisle had seen from the start. These werewolves were not our ancient enemy. These werewolves were men in wolf form, but they were not the monsters of legend. They were not the creatures that Caius had hunted to near extinction, that others of my kind – like James – would track simply for the sport of an opponent worthy of our vampire speed and strength.

Victoria's eyes grew wide and darted from Seth to Bella to me and back again. She saw that the only fear on Bella's face was due to herself. The human girl was unable to take her eyes off of the ferocious red-haired vampire, though she was the threat that was farthest away. Neither Seth nor Riley could hold Bella's attention. In Seth's eyes, Victoria saw his intelligence in the way his focus never wavered from the vampire he had pitted himself against, where the werewolf she had seen James kill had appeared to be driven by instinct and rage even more so than a newly made vampire.

"Not the same?" she gasped and growled in fury. "Impossible!" ... _never heard of any other kind of werewolf. James would have known! Maria would have known! How can there be more than one?_

"Nothing is impossible," I whispered to her. "Except what you want. You'll never touch her."

 _I **will!**_ _She's as good as dead!_ She shook her head violently back and forth, infuriated by Bella's presence, by the fact that the human girl was still alive despite all of her efforts. She saw a space to one side of me and lunged, but as soon as I saw the decision to do so in her mind, I blocked the space, placing myself in between the vampire and my beloved. Bella's heart still pounded out the rhythm I'd listened to for so long, pushing adrenaline through her system, filling the small space with her unique and powerful scent.

The smell distracted Victoria and the sound of the wet pulsing pulled at her. Her eyes were completely black and the fire in her throat rivaled a desert under a noonday sun. She had to have her! Her entire body shook with the need to take Bella's life.

_Fine, then. If I can't get around you, I'll have to go through you._

She crouched, no longer attempting to outmaneuver me, and stalked toward me, feral and feline. I tasted my venom, and knew that if my heart still beat, it would have been pounding in tempo with Bella's.

This was it, I was sure. There would be no more backing her off, or distracting her from her attack with my words. Victoria would not be diverted from her goal. She would either kill me, or die trying, and I was determined that the fight would result in her death, not mine, and certainly not Bella's. Bella was going to marry me. She'd admitted to her love of Jacob at last, and had rejected him. She was _mine!_ Now and forever, she was mine and I was hers. All that was standing in the way of eternity in each other's arms was this vindictive vampire.

My body filled with strength from the knowledge of Bella's love, and I crouched, feeling my lips pull away from my teeth. I could see them glistening with venom in Victoria's mind, but though my eyes were black like hers, I was not thirsty. Despite being aware of her thirst echoing in my own throat, my recent months without blood - and before that, my months of denying my need for Bella's blood - had given me a kind of strength that few of my kind had ever had before. The sound of Bella's living heart was what I was thirsty for and the taste of her willing kisses was the only thing my mouth desired. Her gentle love was what my body craved, and Victoria's determination to kill Bella was nothing in the face of my resolve to keep Bella alive.

We moved at the same time and the sound of our bodies colliding together was like thunder. Thrusting hard against her shoulders, I shoved her backward and into the air with as much force as I could muster. She crouched as soon as her feet hit the ground. Her bare feet gripped the rock-hard mountainside and she only skidded slightly. Without a pause, she came for me again. Her hands were like claws, and I winced at the image of my eyeless face in her mind. Her face was lit with eager anticipation as she aimed for my eyes.

Avoiding her grasping fingers, I ducked under her arm and used my greater body mass to force her further away from where Bella stood. I grabbed onto an outstretched arm and spun, throwing her over my shoulder. She hit a tree and it shattered with a sharp crack. Shards of wood flew around us and the tree toppled over, but not before Victoria had used it to propel herself back toward me. As though she was my lover throwing herself into my arms, I caught her about her waist. Rather than embrace her, I used her momentum to swing her around and flung her away again, at the cost of another tree's life.

I was vaguely aware of Riley's pain as Seth used his distraction with our fight to snap off yet another piece of him.

Victoria was oblivious to her companion's bellow as she launched herself at me again. Unlike a newborn, who would attack based on instinct, Victoria was strategizing, trying to find a way past my defenses. I knew that the next time I saw Jasper, I'd have to thank my brother a thousand times over for the training he had given to me and our family. I remembered the moves he'd taught me, recalling how he'd analyzed our attacks on him, and how he'd defeated every one of them.

I saw each of her moves in her mind before she made them, and was there to counter her before she could strike. She reached for me, but I was already ducking and spinning, slamming my fist into her shoulder blade as I stood up behind her. I heard a sickening crunch as my blow shattered her bones. She hissed in pain, but didn't pay the injury any attention, knowing that if she won, she would heal, and would heal as she fought, too. She spun, kicking out her leg in a high arch. I swerved back and her foot just missed connecting with my face.

Victoria reached for me and I wrapped my hands around her arms. We grappled, pushing and twisting as she tried to tear one of my arms off and I attempted to do the same to her. She kicked out, trying to knock my legs out from under me and I had to let go of the arm I held to block her kick. Lunging and darting forward like a snake, she tried to get a hold on me again, but I parried, blocking her arms with mine. Our forearms connected, and then our legs as she stepped close and brought her knee up between us. Though not as vulnerable as a human would have been to the kind of blow she was trying to land, I was grateful my speed allowed me to knock her leg away before it connected with my sensitive groin.

I heard the sound of a large body crashing against a rock, and felt the surprise and pain from Seth as he fell to the ground only a few feet away from Bella, who stood motionless, her wide eyes locked on my fight against Victoria. I doubted she could see much; the ferocious vampire was moving with as much speed as she was capable, but not for nothing did my family call me fast. Victoria was a _snail_ compared to me, and I flashed around her, hitting her in her rib-cage, the small of her back, and her other shoulder in quick succession. She flinched, feeling her bones shatter and her skin tearing and cracking under the force of my blows.

Using her distraction due to the pain, I reached for her, latching onto her with my teeth. I intended to deliver a killing bite, but she ducked and I missed, catching her instead just at the top of her shoulder, inches from her neck. Victoria spun and twisted away from my bite, gasping in pain, and I spat out the hunk of her flesh I had torn away. Her face was twisted and angry, her eyes wide, and her teeth bared in a furious grimace. I crouched, waiting for her next attack, seeing through the eyes of both vampires and the wolf. In Victoria's mind, my face was wildly triumphant, my glistening teeth bared in an ecstatic grin. I had wanted to end this vampire's life for so long that I was nearly giddy with excitement.

Seth lay on the ground, waiting on Riley, whose hand was misshapen from where Seth's teeth hand crunched his fingers off, the other arm ending in a jagged stump, the hand gone. Seth saw that Riley's eyes, bright red and furious, were locked on him where he lay, seemingly helpless. Riley opened his mouth wide, preparing to rip the wolf's throat open.

Looking past me to where her companion was about to end the wolf's life, Victoria chuckled softly. ... _you lose. Your pet wolf is all but dead, and your human will be next!_

Livid, I threw myself at her, reaching for her head, planning on ripping it from her shoulders, but she locked her hands around my arms again. I twisted so that we gripped each other's arms, and – knowing that her shoulder was already broken – was able to use my greater size to my advantage. I wrenched at her arm, nearly tearing it off, but she tucked her leg up between us. Victoria placed her foot against my chest and shoved me away, pulling herself out of my grasp. The arm I'd held was still attached, but dangling from her shoulder. Not caring that I could feel my own shoulder burning in an echo of her pain, I kicked out hard. My longer legs gave me the advantage, catching her in her chest and knocking her into another tree.

At that moment, fear shot through me. I heard Bella's pain-filled gasp and the scents of the forest, the wolf, and the vampires were overshadowed by the rich smell of Bella's flowing blood. Victoria's eyes instantly locked on the source of the scent. I felt the victory in her mind from her certainty that Riley had ripped Bella's throat out. My eyes were wide, and if my heart had still beat, it would have stopped in terror. I looked through Victoria's eyes and felt her confusion. Bella stood feet away from Riley. Her blood was coating a rock that she held in her hand and dripped from the fingers of her other as it ran down the length of her arm.

As it had done with Jasper, the scent overpowered Riley's mind. The wolf forgotten, he prepared to launch himself at the delicious smelling human girl who was bleeding in front of him.

I groaned in frustration. I had _known_ something like that would happen! This was why I couldn't allow Bella to be in the clearing. If ever she believed me to be in danger, she would sacrifice herself to save me. Seeing Seth apparently incapacitated and not capable of following my fight with Victoria, she had acted as the elders of the Quileute tribe had taught her. Using the vampires' nature against them, she'd shed her own blood, hoping to distract them from their fights with Seth and myself.

No longer planning on ripping out Seth's throat, Riley had only one thought on his mind: to get to Bella and drink her dry.

Seth's plan had been a good one. He'd lain on the ground, waiting for the vampire to get closer, at which point, he would have flung himself onto the monster and ripped _his_ throat out. Now though, the thirsty young vampire had no interest in the wolf, and – fast though he was – Seth would never be able to move quick enough to prevent Bella's death.

In the instant that it took me to see the situation, I was already flinging myself at Victoria. I hit her with all of my strength and speed, throwing her into the trees and using her body as a spring to propel myself in the opposite direction, to where Riley was just beginning to take a step toward Bella. His arms were reaching out toward the fearless human girl and I planted a foot in the middle of his back, grabbed onto an arm and twisted. Unlike when I'd attempted to do the same thing to Victoria, I had the leverage and the element of surprise, and this time, the familiar sound of screeching metal filled my ears as Riley's arm came off in my hands. The young vampire screamed in shock and pain.

Seth jumped to his feet, prepared to finish Riley off, but his eyes focused past me onto Victoria. No longer blocking her way, my attack on Riley had left Bella exposed to her line of sight, and she had the clear path she needed in order to reach the human girl. Her face broke into a wild grin, and I heard her laughter echoing in my head.

_Your human is dead! And her blood is **mine...**_

My hands still gripped Riley's arm and I flung the twitching thing at my enemy as hard as I could, hitting her square in the chest just as she began her leap toward Bella. The speed at which I threw my makeshift weapon combined with her forward momentum diverted her. The arm hit her with the force of a missile and she spun to the side, crashing into yet another tree. She landed on her feet and crouched, determined to drink Bella's blood, but I was already standing in her way. Furious, she kicked at the arm that lay at her feet. As I had told Carlisle only weeks earlier, the thing seemed alive – but wasn't. The fingers of the ruined hand convulsively opened and shut, pulling the arm around on the forest floor.

Beside me, I saw Seth launch himself at Riley, grabbing his remaining arm and crunching through the bones, twisting as I had done. The horrible metallic screeching that I hated filled the air, and was quickly drowned out by the sound of his screams.

Seth flicked his tongue, trying to rid his mouth of the burning taste of the vampire. _…Blech! Leah was right! They taste worse than they smell. Blech, blech, blech!_

Riley was armless, incapable of fighting off the snarling fury of slashing teeth as Seth lunged for him again. "Victoria!" he screamed as Seth grabbed him by the throat, tumbling with him into the forest, not far from where Victoria crouched, watching me. She didn't spare the pair even a thought as Seth tore through his throat, separating his head from his shoulders, and silencing Riley's screams. Knowing that even that didn't equal a vampire's death, he continued to rip and tear at the young man's twitching body, shredding it into pieces.

Picturing herself in Riley's place when the wolf was done, Victoria backed away from me, staring at Bella in agonized disappointment. _No! All my planning, ruined by those MUTTS!_ Her breaths began to hitch and tear from her chest; she was practically sobbing in her defeat. _This isn't over! The past months were only a taste of the terror you'll feel. Enjoy this victory because it will be your last. I'll return and finish your coven off one by one, saving you for the last! After I kill_ her _, of course..._

"No," I taunted her. "Stay just a little longer." This was going to end _now_. She would never leave this mountain.

She saw my eyes blazing, and knew that it meant her death. She spun, sprinting for the trees. I wasn't even aware of my feet touching the ground I moved so fast. One moment I was standing in front of Bella, the next I was wrapping my arm around Victoria, bending my head to kiss her throat like a lover. Rather than pressing my lips against soft skin, my teeth sank into her stone flesh, and with a twist of the arm I had wrapped around her, I tore her head away from her body, and it fell at my feet, bouncing once and coming to rest against a tree. Her fiery red hair wrapped around her head and obscured her face and the look of surprised horror which I was sure was there.


	38. Purple Haze

**Purple Haze**

The first time I had brought Bella to my house, I had told her of my past. I'd told her that I had killed and fed on humans. True, it had been long ago, and I no longer drank human blood, but the fact remained: I had done it. I had _chosen_ to do it. And today, I had killed again. I had done so to save my life as well as the life of the girl I loved, but that didn't matter. Killing was wrong. That I had just killed in front of her only made it worse.

The body I held in my arms wasn't dead quite yet. Although her head lay several feet away from me, Victoria was still twitching and writhing in my grip, fighting to get free. Her hands were clasping my arms, pulling at them, and in spite of the fact that both of her shoulders were broken and one of her arms had nearly been ripped off already, I had to strain against her in order not to lose my own arms. Emphasizing the fact that she wasn't dead, I could hear a steady stream of cursing from Victoria's mind and felt a burning in my neck - the echo of pain from her mind where I had torn her head off. I could hear Riley, too, though his thoughts were less coherent than his partner's.

… _onononononononononooooooo!_

Setting my mouth, knowing that it was necessary, I took a firmer hold on the arms that held mine and twisted. The horrid sounds of breaking metal that every vampire I'd ever killed had made when ripped apart filled the small space, nearly drowning out their mental voices. In disgust, I flung the arms down, away from where the head lay, and tore at her torso, ripping it in half before twisting off each of her legs and throwing them aside, as well. Now scattered on the ground, Victoria's twitching body was in pieces, and could threaten neither Bella nor myself for the moment. My work wasn't finished, though. Even from her current state, it was possible for Victoria to put herself back together. Indeed, I could see the fingers of one of the hands twitching in the grass as it tried to pull itself back toward the rest of her. If I waited long enough, I knew that she would be whole again, and even more dangerous than before. The only way to truly kill a vampire was to burn it.

My fight with Victoria had splintered and toppled several trees, and I walked over to the nearest one and began breaking it into pieces so that it would be easier to burn. I couldn't bring myself to face Bella. The sounds of her ragged breaths and her pounding heart were louder to me than the screams from our enemies' minds, and I was terrified of what I would see were I to look into her eyes. In the tent, she had just insisted that she wanted every part of me, but now that she had seen me kill, how could that still be true?

Even in this rainy forest, there were patches of dry wood and pine needles often buried under the lowest bushes and branches. Fighting back my revulsion, I arranged Victoria's body into a pile, carefully separating the torn pieces so that no adjoining parts touched. For some reason, I remembered the sound of a child singing, _"…the leg bone's connected to the hip bone…"_ while I positioned her so that she couldn't reconnect herself. The quivering, twitching pieces didn't want to stay in a neat pile, no matter how quickly I worked, but I threw pieces of the broken trees and dry pine needles over her, regardless.

… _um… a little help here? I can't carry him all by myself…_

Hearing Seth call to me from where he had torn Riley to pieces, I hastened to his side. The body on the ground at the wolf's feet bore little resemblance to the young man who had entered our camp not even an hour previous. His head was gone, the arm I'd torn off and the one Seth had bit through were elsewhere in the woods, and his torso looked like he'd been caught in a brush chipper. Despite the violence of the act, I'd separated Victoria's head from her body with very little damage done to her, other than that tear. Seth, on the other hand had ripped and clawed and torn at Riley in his attempt to fully incapacitate the young vampire, and there were glittering pieces of him that were catching the scant light from where they lay, scattered all around us on the floor of the forest.

I ached and itched and stung all over, and had to fight not to rub or scratch at the places on me that corresponded to the damage we'd inflicted on the attacking vampires. I set my teeth and ignored the unimportant echos of their pain. It wasn't real, and as soon as their heads were ashes, the strange phantom sensations of pain would be gone.

Despite the fact that we had already killed the only two vampires who had come to our mountain, I didn't feel safe leaving Bella standing – _bleeding_ – all alone by Victoria's body. By the time we returned, Victoria's venom had leaked from her body into the pile of mostly dry pine needles. I knew I was right not to hesitate when I saw that one of the hands had a hold of the stump where that arm was once attached. Putting her body into a pile had only made it simpler for her to reassemble herself. Aside from my desire to end her pain - more for my sake than hers - I knew that I shouldn't wait until we had all of Riley gathered before starting the fire.

Seth added the torso that he carried onto the quivering pile and turned to collect more of Riley. I tossed the head and legs I held on top of Victoria's body and pulled out the lighter I had stashed in my pocket. Since finding out that the army was after Bella, I'd kept a lighter with me at all times, just in case. Trying hard to close my mind to Victoria and Riley's remaining senses, I held the flame to the venom-soaked needles and watched as they quickly caught, sending up an unnatural purplish cloud of smoke.

The flames caught the highly flammable venom that was leaking from their broken bodies and quickly spread, burning them from the inside out. Thankfully, I only briefly experienced their deaths. Their thoughts were loud with violent screams for only a second before the two vampires were silenced forever. The echo of an unpleasant tingling warmth rapidly spread over my face and skull before vanishing, leaving me feeling strangely numb.

Through Seth's mind, I saw my family and the wolves engaged in a similar activity, cleaning up the remains of the army they had killed. I was grateful to be able to see each and every member of my family standing straight and tall, all of their limbs were whole and undamaged, though I thought I smelled an extra-pungent odor coming from Jasper and decided that his skin had been broken. He'd have some new scars to go with the ones he'd acquired in Maria's army, but I doubted that would bother him. This time, he'd been fighting for a much better reason than protecting his coven's killing territory.

... _gonna just stay a wolf for now. ...change from human to wolf and back again with Bella there..._

I caught an uncomfortable embarrassment from him and held back a chuckle. Seth was a young teenager and surely not eager to run around naked in front of Bella. Even though he had brought clothes with him, changing back and forth would have been pointless and time consuming when I could hear him perfectly fine as he was. At any rate, we both wanted his connection to the pack, and that would have been lost if he took his human form.

... _still lots of him back there... made a bit of a mess with him, blech..._

"Get every piece," I said in a low voice. Except for the chunk I had bit off, I hadn't left any pieces of Victoria; my destruction of the ferocious vampire having been more direct than Seth's shredding of Riley. I could smell bits of him scattered about the clearing and tracked down his hand, the arm I'd thrown, and slivers of his skin Seth's teeth had scraped off, as well as the one piece I'd bit from Victoria's shoulder. Seth brought back all of the larger pieces in the clearing, adding them to the fire, while I tossed in the parts I found.

Soon, we could smell no more of either vampire except for the stench of the purple smoke that was billowing from the fire.

... _hahaha! Totally kicked their butts! Who's too young now?_

Seth laughed, and I could feel the desire in him to leap about the clearing in excitement. He restrained himself, feeling that such a display was not worthy of an Official Vampire Killer.

I felt my lips twitch in an attempted smile, but Bella's frozen silence had me terrified. Still, the young wolf _had_ saved Bella's life, and mine, too. Without his assistance, I was sure I would be the one whose body was sending up the purple smoke. I wondered briefly if anything would ever grow in the toxic circle of scorched earth where the vampires burned.

"Nice teamwork," I told him, extending my fist to him. He bumped his nose against it, laughing before he turned away to watch the fire. His lips were parted in a wolfish grin, exposing all of his teeth, but his ears were up and his eyes were bright.

I stared at the fire for a moment longer, listening to the only sound in the world that mattered to me: Bella's steady, rhythmic heartbeat. It was even and calm, and after my fight with Victoria was music to my ears. No matter how often over the past year since I had met her that I had wished I could hear her thoughts, my desire to do so had never been stronger than in that moment. My family had forgiven my murders of Maria, of the predator I'd killed in Seattle, and of the newborn I'd killed in Phoenix, but they had done their share of killing in the past, too. Carlisle had not, it was true, but it was in his nature to be forgiving.

Bella had just watched me rip the head off of a woman, then tear her arms and legs off before burning her body. I couldn't be sure if she had seen it or not, but surely she had heard me _hitting_ Victoria, too. I blinked and swallowed in shame. I'd never hit a woman before. True, it was a female vampire, and not a human woman, but with the way Bella viewed vampires, I wasn't sure that would matter to her.

Bella had seen me kill. That was all I was sure of. Well, whatever her reaction, I had no choice but to face it. She knew that she loved Jacob, now. If seeing me kill made her realize that I _was_ a killer, that I was a monster - as I had always insisted - at least I knew that Bella would live.

Attempting to not smell the icy, toxic smoke, I took a trembling breath and tried to concentrate only on Bella's sweet fragrance. I didn't want to have to look into the eyes that I could feel watching me. I didn't want to have to see the emotions I was sure would be on her face right then, but what other choice did I have? Bracing myself, I raised my eyes to look into those of the girl who stood a few feet away from me. I flinched away from the horror on her face, the fear in her eyes. She still held her weapon, a shard of rock covered in her blood, poised and ready to strike.

Bella's eyes were locked on me, as I knew they had been throughout the whole encounter. She looked terrified, and I wondered if she thought I would attack her next. I'd explained the way vampires could be overcome by bloodlust and the hunt. Though I had been in complete control the entire time, she had no way of knowing that, and I'd come so close to killing her in the past.

Moving with exaggerated care, I slowly spread my arms, my hands open and facing her. She looked like a deer, caught in the headlights of an approaching car and I thought she might bolt to safety at any moment. If she did, I would have to catch her so that she wouldn't get lost or hurt, stumbling in fear down the mountain, but I didn't want to chase her and frighten her even more than she already was. And if, when I caught her, she fought and struggled against me, what then?

How could she ever allow me to touch her again? Much less to kiss her? I was afraid to even speak, certain the sound of my voice would send her running blindly through the forest to escape from the killer who had threatened her life from the start. From the demon who loved her more than anything in the world.

From me.

I swallowed my fear and forced myself to speak. "Bella, love." I couldn't make my voice louder than a whisper, but as scared as she was, I thought that was a good thing. Slowly, I took a step toward her when she didn't move, and then another, watching her, waiting for her to react.

The hand that gripped the rock was the one Carlisle had put in a brace from when she'd punched Jacob. She was holding it so tight, I could see her muscles trembling with the strain. I knew that in times of stress, humans were sometimes oblivious to pain, but her knuckle was broken, and I was sure she would feel it when her shock wore off.

"Bella, can you drop the rock, please? Carefully. Don't hurt yourself." I was afraid to come any closer to her when she hadn't reacted in any way and I paused, waiting. After a few very long seconds, her fingers opened and the bloody rock fell to the ground. I breathed a sigh of relief. She'd _moved._ I didn't, though, remaining where I stood, allowing her to approach me, or not, as she desired.

"You don't have to be afraid, Bella. I won't hurt you." Though her hand was empty now, the rest of her was still frozen, and her other hand was still dripping with her richly scented blood. The previous day, I'd tried to tell her why she no longer needed to fear that I would drink her, but a single day could not be enough time for her to really understand that I would never threaten her again, especially when I could see the expression of terror that was still frozen on her face.

"It's going to be all right, Bella," I tried to reassure her. "I know you're frightened now, but it's over. No one is going to hurt you. I won't touch you. I won't hurt you."

Finally, she moved, blinking rapidly, a look of confusion on her face. "Why do you keep saying that?" She took a step toward me, but I felt myself flinch away from her. "What's wrong? What do you mean?"

"Are you…" I didn't want to speak the words, but I didn't understand her reaction. "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Afraid of you? _Why?"_ Her voice sounded surprised, and her expression of confusion deepened.

Abruptly, her feet moved and she lurched forward. Shocked and uncomprehending, I watched as she came directly toward me, throwing herself into my embrace. My arms wound around her and she pressed her face against my chest. Her breaths hitched and she started sobbing. I could feel her hot tears soaking into my shirt as her body trembled against me.

I was almost relieved. At last, a rational reaction! She never seemed to show any fear for herself, or reaction to my monstrosity. A normal human would be crying. Of course, they wouldn't be crying into _my_ shirt, as she was, but at least she was no longer frozen.

"Bella, Bella," I stroked her hair, grateful to be holding her, to know that the threats to her life were gone, dead and burning. "I'm so sorry. It's over, it's over."

"I'm fine," she was finally able to say around her sobs. "I'm okay. I'm just. Freaking out. Give me. A minute."

I closed my eyes and held her tighter, repeating, "I'm so sorry," again and again. I'd never wanted her to see me like that: a killer in action. I let her hold onto me, steadying her as she cried. Eventually, her breathing steadied and her tears slowed. Her hands tightened on me and I felt her press her face firmer against my chest. As she worked her way up to my shoulder, I realized she was _kissing_ me.

"Are you okay? Did she hurt you at all?" She pressed her lips against my neck, along my jaw, everywhere she could reach while I stood motionless, in shock that she _still_ wasn't disgusted by me, but was concerned for my well-being.

I realized that the terror on her face hadn't been because she was afraid of me, but of losing me. Astonished that somehow she still wanted me, I buried my face in her silky hair and assured her, "I'm absolutely fine." Victoria hadn't so much as scratched me, despite her efforts.

"Seth?"

I snickered, my relief making me almost as giddy as the wolf in question. "More than fine. Very pleased with himself, in fact." The young wolf was studiously ignoring us, concentrating on his pack's mind as they gathered in the clearing to watch the army burn.

"The others? Alice, Esme? The wolves?" Her voice was sharp, evidence of her concern for her loved ones, but our victory had been total.

"All fine," I said in a soothing voice. "It's over there, too. It went just as smoothly as I promised. We got the worst of it here."

She was silent for a moment, and we stood by the fire, holding each other tightly. She pulled away from me with a look of confusion still on her face. "Tell me why. Why did you think I would be afraid of you?"

I averted my face, ashamed. "I'm sorry," I repeated. "So sorry. I didn't want you to see that. See _me_ like that. I know I must have terrified you."

She was silent for a long moment, and I waited for her to speak, fearful again of what she would say. When she finally spoke, her voice was incredulous. "Seriously? You… what? Thought you'd scared me off?" She snorted - actually _snorted._ The sound was nearly a laugh and seemed completely unconcerned.

Uncomprehending, I put a hand under her chin so that I could tilt her face up to mine, forcing myself to meet her eyes again. A tiny smile was on her lips and her eyes sparkled with amusement. I didn't understand. She'd just been sobbing in my arms a moment ago. How could she be laughing at the fact that I had killed right in front of her?

"Bella, I just – " Once again, I didn't want to speak the words that needed to be said, but I _had_ to understand. "I just beheaded and dismembered a sentient creature not twenty yards from you."

… _she deserved it…_ the wolf grumbled.

Ignoring him, I insisted, "That doesn't _bother_ you?" I barely kept my jaw from dropping open in shock when she shrugged.

"Not really. I was only afraid that you and Seth were going to get hurt. I wanted to help, but there's only so much I can do…"

Abruptly furious, I glared at her, livid. I didn't even want to _think_ about what she might have done had I actually allowed her to be in the clearing with us while we fought against an _army._

"Yes," I said when her voice trailed away in the face of my anger. "Your little stunt with the rock. You know that you nearly gave me a heart attack? Not the easiest thing to do, that." I remembered all too well the look on Riley's face as he prepared to drink Bella and continued to glare at her, furious at the way she always dismissed the threats to her own life.

Her voice trembled as she insisted, "I wanted to help… Seth was hurt…"

I shook my head, incredulous at her stubborn courage. "Seth was only feigning that he was hurt, Bella. It was a trick. And then you…!" I couldn't even finish the sentence. She'd shed her own blood, slicing through her perfect skin to save _us!_ "Seth couldn't see what you were doing, so I had to step in. Seth's a bit disgruntled that he can't claim a single-handed defeat now."

"Seth was… faking?"

I pressed my lips together and nodded.

"Oh."

She glanced at Seth and I followed her gaze. He was staring at the fire, his head and tail held high, his pose one of complete self-satisfaction. His pack had thought him too young to fight, yet he had saved our lives. Without him, we'd both be dead, and the pack knew it.

"Well, I didn't know that," she defended herself. "And it's not easy being the only helpless person around. Just you wait till I'm a vampire! I'm not going to be sitting on the sidelines next time."

 _Next time?!_ What, did she think this kind of thing was a regular occurrence in our lives? Had her life been in danger so often over the past year or so that she thought that was just how things always were?

"Next time?" I repeated. "Did you anticipate another war soon?"

She shrugged, seemingly unconcerned. "With my luck? Who knows?"

I rolled my eyes, practically laughing at her. After everything, her mind was still firm. She was going to be a vampire, and that meant she was going to be my mate, my wife. I'd killed in front of her and she didn't care. She knew she loved Jacob, and she didn't care. All that mattered to her was that everyone was safe, and that our future together was assured.

Although I knew that the cut on her arm needed tending, the flow of blood had already stopped when it began to clot, and I wanted to kiss her to much to wait.

She stopped me as I leaned close. "Hold on. Didn't you say something before - ?"

I saw her flinch and wondered what image was in her mind that would make her react like that when seeing me kill hadn't fazed her.

After a pause, she continued, "About a complication? And Alice, needing to nail down the schedule for Sam. You said it was going to be close. What was going to be close?"

I glanced at Seth and met his eyes, seeing through the pack mind once again. Sam, Carlisle, and Alice were arguing. Keeping up a steady growl, Paul was in wolf form by their side, dwarfing my tiny sister. The rest of the pack was still finding bits of the vampires in the woods.

 _"_ … _destroy all of them."_

_"She is not a threat."_

_"They're_ all _threats. She shouldn't be allowed to live."_

_"That's not your decision. If she is willing to learn, then we are willing to teach her."_

_"Have you even been watching the news the past few months?"_

_"Yes, of course. We knew what was going on far earlier than your tribe did. But this one – "_

_"Is a killer!"_

_"It's all she knew. But that doesn't mean she will always be one."_

Pointing at my sister, he said, _"I know that_ _she can see the future..."_

_"Yes…"_

_"How do you see her, then? Like you all are? Or like she is now?"_

Alice closed her eyes, concentrating. _"I can't see. Probably because of your pack's presence. Speaking of which, we're expecting some company soon, and you_ really _shouldn't be here."_

He grunted, not pleased with the way the conversation was going. I wondered who they were talking about. Not Bella, surely!

_"When they leave, I expect one of your family to contact us."_

Alice rolled her eyes and huffed. _"Fine."_

_"I will call you myself. Edward has Jacob's number."_

_"But like I said, you do need to get going."_

_"We're just finishing our sweep of the forest to make sure than no_ others _are left alive."_ He turned away from them, slipping out of his pants and preparing to phase back into wolf form.

Pulling out of his mind, I frowned at Seth, not fully understanding what the conversation had been about. He shrugged.

_Your family wants to keep one?_

"Well?" Bella pressed me.

"It's nothing, really. But we do need to be on our way..." Whatever they had been talking about, I would be able to find out more once we were there. And if we hurried, we could get there before the pack left and I could show Jacob that he'd lost, after all. After being forced to experience him kissing my Bella, I wanted very much for him to see her in my embrace again.

I pulled her into my arms, preparing to shift her onto my back so I could run with her, but she pulled away from me with a frown on her face.

"Define nothing," she said in a firm voice.

Holding back a sigh, knowing how stubborn she was and that simply telling her would be faster, I placed my hands on either side of her cheeks, needing her to maintain her unusual - but normal for _her_ – calm.

"We only have a minute, so don't panic, all right?"

Her lips pressed into a tight line and her eyes narrowed.

"I told you that you had no reason to be afraid. Trust me on that, please?"

She nodded, reluctantly. "No reason to be afraid," she repeated. "Got it."

I considered how to tell her what Alice had seen. Jane couldn't hurt her, but the tiny vampire could hurt any one of _us_ and I knew how Bella feared for our safely already.

... _be careful... Shouldn't be investigating something like that alone. Leah! Come on, don't be a show-off. Wait-!_

"What's she doing?" I asked Seth, hearing the worried thoughts that he was directing toward his sister. He whined, his voice high-pitched and irritating to my ears.

Through the telepathic connection of the pack, they heard each other's thoughts, in the much same way that I would. They were able to share memories, just as Jacob had shown me Sam's memory of finding Bella in the woods the day I had left her. Again like me, what they shared was automatic. When Leah had called up her memories of the pack in embarrassing moments, they'd had little choice but to remember along with her. While we all saw and heard what was in the minds of the pack's members - and for me, the humans and vampires around me... with the exception of Bella, of course - their connection was different from my gift, deeper and more encompassing. The wolves in the pack were not many connected individuals so much as a single interconnected _many._

Unlike me, they would also feel each other's emotions. I'd had cause often enough in the past to be glad not to have to feel emotions the way Jasper did. I could see that they existed, and I was aware of the person's mind experiencing them, but physical sensations weren't processed by the brain in the same way emotions were. Whereas the pack - or Jasper - would feel each other's emotions as though they were their own, I was an observer. It was like the difference between standing outside in the rain, and watching the storm through a window.

While I might be immune to emotional pain, the same was not true for physical sensations. Despite being aware of a difference between my senses and those of the people I observed, I heard, saw, smelled, tasted, and felt whatever the person I was listening to did. Thankfully though, the taste sensation was almost always absent unless blood-related. Human food was disgusting, and the last thing I wanted was to experience them tasting it; the smell was bad enough.

Experiencing the many mind of the pack while they'd fought the newborns had been strange, but interesting. As deeply connected as they were, in touching all of their minds at once, every sensation had been amplified. I'd been more _there,_ in the clearing, than I had seemed to be in the tent. Having been so recently connected with them, it was all too easy to slip back into Seth's mind and our connection with the pack.

Immersed within the pack mind once more, we felt Seth's concern for his sister as she sniffed through the underbrush away from the rest of the pack. Jacob was closest to us, and he trotted over to help, alarmed by the unexpectedly strong burning scent she'd found. We'd gathered and burned all of the pieces of the vampires we'd killed, but they hadn't smelled like _that_. This seemed like more than just a piece of one, and we worried that somehow, one had been missed.

Leah poked into the underbrush and a sparkle caught our eye just before the creature it had reflected off of moved. We lunged forward, preparing to tear into it like we had the other one, but that first one had been taken by surprise. _This_ one had seen us coming, and despite missing a foot and part of an arm, he stood to catch us when we leapt.

 _No!_ Every mind in the pack yelled as she gathered herself for the leap. _Don't - !_ Jacob, who was nearly beside her already, threw himself at Leah, knocking her aside with his body.

Instead of Leah, it was Jacob who landed in the arms of the newborn who had been hidden in the bush. The entire pack was aware of his bones as they shattered, and through Seth's connection with their mind, I felt his agony amplified ten-fold. An explosion of pain tore through me and I wasn't aware that it wasn't my own body that had been broken until the sound of Bella's terror-filled voice broke through my pain. With an effort, I pulled out of the pack's many mind enough to see her eyes. She was trying to pry my hands away from the sides of my face, though I didn't remember pressing them there, and wasn't able to remove them. I felt like I was holding my brain in place and if I removed my hands, I would break into pieces, shattered like Jacob's bones.

The newborn didn't stand a chance. He only held Jacob in his crushing grip for a second before Sam and Paul were there ripping the vampire's arms off. The rest of the pack was there moments later, tearing the newborn's body into pieces. Jacob fell to the ground, hurting, but still very much alive. I knew the wolves had the ability to recover from injuries quickly – having seen them do so when they remembered their practice sessions as they watched my family train – and was sure that, though he hurt, Jacob would recover. His bones were crushed, but attached. He was _alive,_ he would recover, and that was what mattered.

 _It's okay_ , he tried reassure them, though he writhed on the ground, howling. _We're going to be fine. It's –_ He broke off as a splinter of one broken rib ground against another.

The pack gathered around him, trying to hold him still without damaging or hurting him further. _We're fine,_ they agreed with him, _We're going to be okay._ Leah looked at Sam, pleading with her Alpha, _Sam – help him –_ Her wolf face was anguished and full of guilt. Jacob had gotten hurt trying to save her.

I'd kept my eyes fixed on Bella's face, needing her strength. When I saw her body slump to the side, I pulled completely out of the pack's mind, deliberately closing my mind to the pain. Pain wasn't important. _I_ wasn't harmed, and I'd felt worse before. There was nothing I could do for Jacob at that moment, but Bella was about to hit her head on the rocks as her body collapsed. I caught her in my arms, keeping her lovely face from hitting the ground, and pulled her against my chest. Without being aware of standing, I was on my feet in the next instant with Bella held in my arms.

"Seth!" I yelled, trying to get him to break away from experiencing his brother's pain.

… _have to go! He needs me! I should be there! He saved my sister!_

"No!" I countered, firmly. "You go _straight home._ Now. As fast as you can."

I knew only too well that the only two wolves on the reservation were eleven year old Colin and Brady and, though Seth wasn't _that_ much older, he needed to go home, to help them prepare for the arrival of their wounded brother. Having yet another wolf gathered around Jacob wouldn't be helpful to anyone.

Seth's body was trembling from the shared pain and the need to be with his brothers and sister. He whimpered, conflicted. I wasn't his leader, but Sam was otherwise occupied with trying to restrain Jacob as he tried to prevent Jacob from hurting himself further. Keeping myself from slipping back into their minds, I let myself see through the pack's eyes. My father was kneeling beside Sam, helping Jacob as best as the wolf would allow. Seth shook his head back and forth.

 _Colin and Brady are fine._ Jacob _is hurt. I need to go to Jacob._

"Seth," I said in a low voice, making it as compelling as possible. "Trust me."

 _I do. I do trust you, Edward. Collin and Brady. Okay. Right._ I knew Seth felt the youngest wolves' confusion and fear. Finally agreeing with me, he launched himself down the mountain toward his home.

Bella's body was limp in my arms, though her eyes were fixed on my face. My arms tightened their hold on her, making sure she was secure. Like Seth, I launched myself down the mountain, swerving through the trees and hurtling the waterways as I sped toward the clearing to where my family waited.

"Edward," Bella's voice was choked with pain and confusion when she spoke my name. "What happened, Edward? What happened to Sam? Where are we going? What's happening?"

"We knew there was a good probability of this happening," I decided to answer her question from before Jacob was harmed. "Earlier this morning, Alice saw it and passed it through Sam to Seth. The Volturi decided it was time to intercede." Bella's heart thudded, hard and irregular, before picking up into a faster pace.

"Don't panic," I tried to sooth her. "They aren't coming for us. It's just the normal contingent of the guard that usually cleans up this kind of mess. Nothing momentous, they're merely doing their job. Of course, they seem to have timed their arrival very carefully," I said sourly. "Which leads me to believe that no one in Italy would mourn if the newborns had reduced the size of the Cullen family." My teeth clenched together, furious at their duplicity. I was certain that their arrival at _this_ time could not be coincidence. "I'll know for sure what they were thinking when they get to the clearing."

"Is that why we're going back?" Her whispered words were nearly lost in the wind from the speed of my run, but I was sure that my ears would always be able to hear my Bella's voice, no matter the volume.

There was no point in hiding the truth of their visit from her. It was better that she be prepared for what was to come, I was sure, so I told her the truth. "It's part of the reason. Mostly, it will be safer for us to present a united front at this point. They have no reason to harass us, but…" I hesitated. No, they had no _legal_ reason, but I knew Jane was furious at the way Alice and I had been offered positions in Aro's guard. Not to mention the way Bella had been immune to Jane's stare.

"Jane's with them," I admitted. "If she thought we were alone somewhere away from the others, it might tempt her." She didn't have to use her mental powers to hurt Bella. She could use them on _me_ , and then physically attack Bella at her leisure, while I writhed on the ground. However, if we were with our family, she'd never get away with vengeance. "Like Victoria, Jane will probably guess that I'm with you. Demetri, of course, is with her. He could find me, if Jane asked him to."

Bella made a choked, whimpering sound, and I tucked her body even closer to mine, knowing how she feared the demons she'd met during her trip through Hell to save my life.

"Shh, Bella, shh. It's all going to be fine. Alice can see that."

"The pack?"

"They had to leave quickly. The Volturi do not honor truces with werewolves," I evaded. I needed Bella to have her wits about her, and not distracted with worry for the mutt. Her breathing accelerated, and I could feel her heart pounding against my chest.

"I swear they will be fine. The Volturi won't recognize the scent – they won't realize the wolves are here; this isn't a species they are familiar with. The pack will be fine."

She was silent as I sped through the forest for only a few moments before reiterating her first question. "What happened? Before? When Seth was howling? When you were hurt?"

I didn't want to tell her, but wasn't going to lie, either. She'd find out soon enough, and only be more upset if she discovered I hadn't told her the truth about Jacob.

"Edward! Tell me!" she demanded when I didn't answer right away.

"It was all over," I began in a low voice. "The wolves didn't count their half… they thought they had them all. Of course, Alice couldn't see."

Tired of my vague answers, she pressed me, "What happened?"

"One of the newborns was hiding… Leah found him – she was being stupid, cocky, trying to prove something. She engaged him alone…"

"Leah…" She watched my face and I was sure she could see the tension that I felt. "Is she going to be okay?"

Not happy at deceiving her, I muttered, "Leah wasn't hurt." She considered my words without answering, but I was sure she was trying to process what I was telling her and comparing it with her memory of what she'd seen. Seth and I had been in pain. If Leah wasn't hurt, then who had been? "We're almost there," I told her, seeing a pillar of purple smoke like the one I had left at the campsite.

Bella followed my gaze, distracted for the moment from her line of questioning. But, stubborn as always, she returned her gaze to my face. "Edward. Edward, someone got hurt."

"Yes," I admitted in a whisper.

"Who?"

I slowed, nearing my family. I was close enough to hear their thoughts now. I could see through their eyes and confirmed that all of the wolves were gone. Carlisle was anxious. He knew that we all needed to be there, and as the leader of our family, he especially could not leave, but he had a patient who desperately needed him. They couldn't exactly take a werewolf to the hospital.

Jasper was crouched over a girl I didn't recognize, and suddenly I understood what Sam had been arguing with Carlisle and Alice about. They hadn't killed one of the newborns. She was terrified and grieving, but not over any of the vampires my family had killed. I kept seeing Riley's face in her mind, and was aware of her fury toward him, along with a fierce need for vengeance.

Emmett and Rosalie were holding each other, grateful that the fight was over. Though Emmett had enjoyed himself thoroughly and Rosalie had skillfully applied all that Jasper had taught her, he was glad that his mate hadn't been harmed. Esme was relieved that all of her children as well as her husband were safe. Her worry at that moment was for the girl. I could feel in her mind the shift already, from enemy to _daughter_ , and pressed my lips together, worried.

Alice was watching the Volturi as they entered the clearing, not able to see much in the immediate future past their arrival, but when she searched for a farther future, I saw her making wedding plans, and was relieved. This would be unpleasant, to be sure, but we would all be fine, as Alice had foreseen previously.

I glanced back to the girl in my arms, and knew that she was waiting for my answer. Reluctantly, I admitted the truth to her.

"Jacob."

She nodded her head once, accepting what I'd told her as if she'd expected my answer.

"Of course," she whispered just before her eyes fluttered closed and her body went limp in my arms.

"Bella?" I said, alarmed. I shifted her body higher in my arms, looking into her face, but she'd lost consciousness. I increased my speed, knowing that I had to reach my family before the approaching vampires did.


	39. Truth, Lies, and Consequences

**Truth, Lies, and Consequences**

"Carlisle!" I yelled as I sped into the clearing.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked in a tense voice as he ran up to me. I knew he could see the fear on my face and could smell Bella's blood from where she'd cut her arm. "Edward - how did she get hurt? I don't understand; you weren't anywhere near the fight." _...didn't_ bite _her, did he?_

He grabbed her arm and rolled up her shirt to examine the jagged slice. My family, who could also smell her blood, but had no resistance to it like Carlisle and I did, stopped breathing and backed away, closer to the fires. Their hunting instincts were high after the fight, and I was grateful that the stench of burning vampires already permeated the air so heavily. The choking smell of the smoke disgusted us all, but it helped to block out the delicious aroma of Bella's blood, though I thought it was a good thing that it had clotted and lost most of its potency already.

"No, no, of course not!" I said as I laid her down on the ground and knelt beside her. "That's self-inflicted. It's just a cut. That's not what I'm worried about. She's unconscious!"

Though Carlisle could hear her steady heartbeat as well I as could, he took her wrist in his hand and pressed his fingers against the artery that was pulsing there.

"Self-inflicted?" He stared at me, incredulous. _Why would she hurt herself?_

"Bella was right," I growled. "It was Victoria. She was behind _everything."_

He gasped, staring at me open-mouthed. "We'll get this cleaned up, but you need to tell me what happened."

"I left the first-aid kit back at the camp!" I groaned. Seeing what he needed in his mind, I ripped a strip of cloth off of the bottom of my shirt so that he could clean and bind the wound. As he wiped the blood from her arm, I quickly explained how Victoria had found us – me – and why Bella had cut her arm.

"And you killed them both?" He scrutinized me as he finished with her arm.

"Seth got the younger one. But they're both dead, yes." We glanced up the mountain to where we could just see a purple cloud rising in the distance.

"Then it's over." He sighed in relief.

"Yes. The army was hers, the intruder was the one Seth killed, and Victoria's dead. It's over."

"Except for the Volturi, of course," Alice said. She skipped over to where we knelt and held out her hand. "Here, give those to me. I'll burn them."

Carlisle handed my sister the cloth strips that had Bella's blood on them and she darted over to throw them into the fire, returning quickly to stand by me. With Bella's blood scent no longer in the air, the rest of my family relaxed, except for Jasper, whose tension I could feel from across the field. He was still crouched over the young vampire girl, watching her warily. Esme, Rose, and Emmett left the fire to stand in a loose circle around where I knelt beside Bella. Emmett deliberately placed himself directly between us and the newborn, taking on the role of Designated Watch Vampire once more.

I didn't bother to pay attention to the young girl. She was in Jasper's charge, and Bella was my priority – as she always was. Her wound cleaned and bandaged, Carlisle went back to monitoring her vital signs. He pressed his fingers against her pulse once more, feeling the strength of the beats and their steady pattern. I watched her face intently, but saw no sign of Bella waking. Anxious, I pressed my hand against her cheek, feeling her reassuring soft warmth. Her forehead was crinkled and I stroked my fingers over the lines, trying to soothe her and hoping she would wake.

"Carlisle – it's been five minutes," I said as I glanced up at him.

"She'll come around when she's ready, Edward. She's had too much to deal with today. Let her mind protect itself." His voice was the deliberately calm doctor's voice he used when he soothed anxious patients in the hospital.

His words made sense, but they didn't lessen my nervousness. The Volturi were on their way, and Bella lay unconscious on the ground! Unable to merely sit there are wait, I asked anxiously, "Alice, how long do we have?"

"Another five minutes." She pictured them arriving from almost the same place where – little more than a year ago – James, Laurent, and Victoria had entered this same clearing where my family had been playing baseball. When we left here today, I thought I'd likely never return to this particular clearing again. There were too many bad memories associated with it. The place seemed to draw bad luck as strongly as Bella did.

Alice's vision shifted to one of Bella's eyes fluttering open, and I saw her concentrate on Carlisle's watch. "And Bella will open her eyes in thirty-seven seconds. I wouldn't doubt that she can hear us now."

I watched her closely, looking for any sign of movement. Thirty-seven seconds had never sounded like such a long period of time before.

"Bella, honey? Can you hear me? You're safe now, dear," Esme called to her, knowing how anxious she'd been over my family's safety. I could tell that she hoped that if Bella heard their voices, she would be comforted and would wake reassured.

Suddenly, it clicked. It was never her _own_ safety that Bella worried about, and I'd already told her my family was safe. It was Jacob again; I was sure of it. I scowled, but leaned close to her, feeling her silky hair against my skin. I pressed my lips to her ear and whispered, "He's going to live, Bella. Jacob Black is healing as I speak. He'll be fine."

As I had known would happen, Bella's heart reacted to my whispered words. At the sound of the dog's name, her heart thudded once - hard - and then began to beat faster. Bella's eyelids fluttered, the line between her brows deepened, and I knew she was going to be okay.

"Oh, Bella," I whispered, and brushed my lips across hers.

"Edward," she whispered, and I had to fight not to either laugh or sob in relief at hearing my name on her lips.

Swallowing hard, I assured her, "Yes, I'm here." Her eyes finally opened and looked into mine. I could see the worry and fear in her chocolate eyes, and was unsurprised by her next words.

"Jacob is okay?"

"Yes," I said, firmly.

"I examined him myself."

Bella turned her face away from mine to look at Carlisle when he spoke.

"His life is not in any danger. He was healing at an incredible rate, though his injuries were extensive enough that it will still be a few days before he is back to normal, even if the rate of repair holds steady. As soon as we're done here, I will do what I can to help him. Sam is trying to get him to phase back to his human form. That will make treating him easier. I've never been to veterinarian school," he finished with a strained smile.

"What happened to him? How bad are his injuries?"

"Another wolf was in trouble – "

"Leah," she said, remembering what I'd told her.

"Yes. He knocked her out of the way, but he didn't have time to defend himself. The newborn got his arms around him. Most of the bones on the right half of his body were shattered."

Bella flinched visibly at the description of Jacob's injury. I growled at Carlisle, wondering if it was really necessary to tell her in _detail_ how bad Jacob was at that moment.

"Sam and Paul got there in time. He was already improving when they took him back to La Push."

"He'll be back to normal?" she pressed Carlisle.

"Yes, Bella. He won't have any permanent damage."

She took a deep breath, and I could see the relief on her face.

"Three minutes," Alice warned us. Bella squirmed, trying to sit up, and I put a hand under her elbow, pulling her up to stand beside me.

… _bad, this is bad, bad idea… don't like this, no, Carlisle it's too dangerous… bad, this is bad, the Volturi will not understand… this is bad…_

Jasper's worried thoughts were stuck on a loop of fear, and his frustration and anxiety at Carlisle's compassion were leaking through his control. I felt an echo of burning pain and saw him rubbing his hand absently along his arm. He'd have some new scars once the venom was cleaned out and his skin allowed to heal.

Bella glanced around the clearing, and her eyes locked on the young girl Jasper was hovering over. I heard her sudden, sharp intake of breath, and an identical one at the same time from the newborn.

… _A human? It's_ her! _The girl, their pet. Oh, her blood, I can smell her from here, oh, I need… need... I need… **Her!** …want her… mine! …sweet, wet, pulsing …never known anyone could smell _so good!

Furious, I growled at her, but she didn't pay me any attention. The newborn vampire's whole being was focused on the girl by my side. I wrapped my arms around Bella, shifting us so that I stood between the newborn and my beloved. I could see her trembling as she fought the urge to jump up and sprint across the clearing to drink the human whose blood smelled far too delicious for her own good.

"She surrendered," I explained to Bella as I caught the memory from various perspectives through the minds of my family. "That's one I've never seen before. Only Carlisle would think of offering. Jasper doesn't approve."

In every fight that Jasper had ever shown to me, the newborns were wild, vicious, and unstoppable – except by fire. It was why newborn armies were so effective. I knew from my own experience in helping to raise my family members as well as my own newborn year how volatile a young vampire was, but there had only ever been one for us to contend with at a time. I couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been to manage dozens. It was a wonder Victoria and Riley had been able to control them at all.

Bella pressed her hands against my chest and leaned into me, seeming to sense the tension coming from both Jasper and the newborn. "Is Jasper all right?"

"He's fine. The venom stings." Vampire venom burned - yes, even to a vampire - but he'd been in so many fights that it was little more than an irritation, barely noticed in the face of the danger that the newborn girl posed to our family.

"He was bitten?"

"He was trying to be everywhere at once." I smirked, seeing the memory of the fight being played out in everyone's minds from various angles.

Carlisle and Esme had made a good team, working together as Jasper had taught them to restrain and incapacitate the newborns that attacked them. Emmett had taken two of them by himself, though they'd ganged up on him. Rose had helped him dismember a third after taking down another. Jasper had trained everyone well in the past month, and the past week especially, but they couldn't match his decades of experience. Alice had anticipated where she would be needed, and Jasper had followed her closely, using her knowledge of the future to kill every vampire that she got close to. With their forces divided and the other half being torn apart by the wolves, none of the army had stood a chance.

"Trying to make sure Alice had nothing to do, actually. Alice doesn't need anyone's help." I laughed, shaking my head.

"Overprotective fool." She wrinkled her nose at him. _I wanted to kill some, too!_ He met her glance from across the field, and I felt the love flow between the two as they smiled at each other.

In the brief moment that he took his eyes off of the girl by his feet, I felt her desire surge. She whimpered, fighting the need, knowing it would mean her death if she were to act, yet unable to stop herself from imaging sprinting across the field, tossing me into the woods, and draining Bella dry. All she would need was a second, and in looking away from her toward Alice, Jasper had given her that second.

… _burning, the blood, I need it!_

I locked my eyes on her and growled again, warning her off.

The girl was practically writhing in pain from the burning need to drink Bella, and she screamed, needing to act, but incapable of doing so. She dug her fingers into the dirt, but it did little to offer her any purchase. _Granite_ would have done little, and the soft earth of the field yielded like water under her fingers.

Jasper's eyes snapped back to the girl, and he snarled, crouching down and waiting for her to throw herself at Bella. I watched her mind as she fought the need, but she'd never denied herself blood before and her instincts were telling her to drink the only thing in the world that would quench the fire that raged in her throat.

"Carlisle," I muttered anxiously.

Her eyes were locked on Bella, and she didn't see my father until he stepped into her line of sight, placing himself between the girl and my Bella. He placed a hand on Jasper's arm, stopping my brother from launching himself at the girl before she could threaten us further.

"Have you changed your mind, young one? We don't want to destroy you, but we will if you can't control yourself."

"How can you stand it?" She groaned and spoke in a harsh whisper, "I _want_ her." She rocked back and forth, grasping at the ground in front of her, but not giving in to the desperate need she felt.

"You must stand it," Carlisle told her, firmly. "You must exercise control. It is possible, and it is the only thing that will save you now."

… _then it's too late …might as well have her if I'm dead already… want to live anyway now that Diego's gone…_

I was aware of the pain in her mind when the name flowed through her thoughts and realized that she'd lost a vampire she'd been connected with. Perhaps not a mated pair... or maybe just not mated _yet._ I could see him in her mind - curly, black hair, dark red eyes, a dimple in his chin, his skin glowing in the sun - and felt an irrational jealousy overtake me. I'd had to wait a century for my Bella, and here this girl had already found hers! Then, realizing that she may have found him quickly, but she had lost him just as quickly, I burned with shame. I knew how painful it was to lose a loved one, and felt pity for the young girl. She couldn't have been more than a few months old judging by the intense red color of her eyes. But if her loss made her suicidal, then she was doubly dangerous.

She clasped her hands to her head and fought against her instincts. Bella continued to stare at the girl with a strange look of fascination and dread on her face. Neither one seemed able to look away from the other. The newborn's eyes were drawn to the human she _needed_ to drink, and Bella was seeing – for the first time – a glimpse of her own future.

"Shouldn't we move away from her?" Bella whispered.

"We have to stay here. _They_ are coming to the north end of the clearing now."

In my mind was a voice I had heard only once before, but would never forget. _Jane._ I flinched from the remembered pain she had inflicted upon me once before and could inflict upon me again. I wondered if it would be as bad the second time, with my knowledge of Bella's future as my wife and mate secure in my mind. I wondered if I would be able to remember our promises if she turned her stare onto me again, and if they would lessen Jane's affect. I hoped I never had to find out.

I watched as the newborn felt a new desire to run, but not to Bella, this time. She could see our tension, and knew that whatever threatened us must be powerful indeed if we were afraid of them. We had just defeated her entire coven. She wondered if we were distracted enough by the new threat for her to make an escape. Her thoughts were background noise to me, though, insignificant in the face of those who approached.

… _smell of burning vampires in the morning…_

… _coven is large, but_ they _had an army, and the Cullens were encumbered by that_ human _…_ An image of Bella writhing on the ground flowed through Jane's mind and my arms tightened around the girl I loved. I shook my head, knowing that I was a fool. So many times I had wished that I could hear Bella's mind just to ease my frustration, when her very silence had saved her again and again.

"Hmmm." The moment Jane spoke, I felt a jolt of recognition in the newborn, and my attention was on her once again. She _knew_ them. She didn't know who they were, but she'd seen them before, heard them before. I watched the memory flicker through the newborn's mind.

She and her Diego had hid in the trees near a house. I wondered briefly if they were hunting, but the feeling of fear in the girl made me think that was unlikely. The girl remembered a high-pitched childish voice that I recognized all too well as belonging to Victoria, and I realized the girl had spied on her coven leader. I thought that might have had something to do with why she'd been willing to surrender to Carlisle. If she knew that she was being used, she might not have _wanted_ to fight. This memory was a mere flash though, compared to the one that followed.

She and Diego had seen movement and watched as four cloaked figures had headed straight toward the house. I saw them in her mind and recognized them at once. They were the guard members who were approaching us now, with their dark grey cloaks billowing around their legs, and their eyes shining bright red due to their constant feasting in Volterra. _They'd_ never gone thirsty looking for a meal who wouldn't be missed.

 _"Don't bother,"_ she'd heard Jane say. _"I think you know who we are, so you must know that there is no point in trying to surprise us. Or hide from us. Or run from us. Relax. We're not here to destroy you. Yet."_

The newborn's remembered conversation between Jane and her creator proved to me that not only had the Volturi been in the area in plenty of time enough to deal with the army, they had _chosen_ not to.

Victoria's childish voice had been full of fear. _"If you are not here to kill us, then… what?"_

_"We seek to know your intentions here. Specifically, if they involve… a certain local clan."_

Oh yes, they'd known the army was there, who had created them, and for what purpose. And, they'd _wanted_ them to succeed, as I'd suspected, before. If they had not, there had been plenty of time for them to act to prevent the attack upon us. I greeted her coldly, furious at their duplicity. "Welcome, Jane."

Jane slowly scanned my family, and I felt her shock as she saw us all, Bella included, standing straight and unharmed beside the fire that burned with our enemies' bodies. While Jane's eyes slowly moved over each member of my family, the newborn's memory continued, and I watched and listened avidly.

 _"Yes. My plans are_ all _about them. But we can't move yet. It's tricky."_ Victoria's whining voice grated on my ears and I wished she were there in front of me again, so that I could have the pleasure of ripping her head off, once more.

 _"Trust me,"_ Jane had said, coolly, _"we know the difficulties better than you. It is remarkable that you've managed to keep off the radar, so to speak, for this long. Tell me, how are you doing it?"_

After touching Alice's hand, Aro knew exactly how Alice's talent worked, and he knew that any plan the Volturi were to make to capture Alice, Bella, or myself would be known the moment the plan was made. How, then, could this vampire plan anything?

 _"I haven't made the decision,"_ she'd hissed in anger. _"To attack. I've never decided to_ do _anything with them."_

I instantly understood. She'd made the decision to create the children and had decided to let them run loose in Seattle. That she _wanted_ us dead was irrelevant until and unless she decided to have them attack us.

Jane turned her attention to the fire, seeing its size, and noting the purple cloud that billowed from the toxic fuel of venom.

 _…missed one._ "I don't understand." _...how are there any left? Cullens creating an army of their own, perhaps?_

"She has surrendered," I corrected her assumption. Jasper had been right. Seeing us with this newborn had put us at an even larger disadvantage than we were already, but the girl's mind was a wealth of information, and I was grateful that Carlisle had saved her.

"Surrendered?" Jane's usually bored voice took on an annoyed tone. _Newborns don't surrender!_

"Carlisle gave her the option."

"There are no options for those who break the rules." _Something you would do well to remember._

Seeing my jaw clench and guessing at the reason, Carlisle answered her for me, "That's in your hands. As long as she was willing to halt her attack on us, I saw no need to destroy her." He paused before trying to plead with Jane for the girl's life. "She was never taught."

"That is irrelevant." Her voice was indifferent, not caring that she was discussing the death of a girl who crouched, defenseless, mere feet away from her.

"As you wish." He sighed, knowing that he could no more fight against Jane than he could the entire Italian coven.

She stared at him curiously. ... _any vampire_ _could live on squirrels and yet be_ _strong enough to lead a coven of_ seven _...seem to be peaceful... yet they defeated a newborn army... what strange creatures..._

"Aro hoped that we would get far enough west to see you, Carlisle. He sends his regards."

"I would appreciate it if you would convey mine to him," Carlisle responded pleasantly.

"Of course." She smiled at him before turning her gaze to me. I stiffened, seeing her memory of myself writhing on the floor in the throne room of Volterra, but she only remembered using her ability and did not burn me this time. Her eyes shifted back to Carlisle and she questioned him again. "It appears that you've done our work for us today… for the most part. Just out of professional curiosity, how many were there? They left quite a wake of destruction in Seattle."

"Eighteen, including this one."

"Impossible," Felix muttered. ... _could these_ weaklings _survive an attack of eighteen unscathed?!_

"Eighteen?" Jane pressed.

"All brand-new. They were unskilled." _Unlike us… or yourselves…_

"All? Then who was their creator?" Jane's voice betrayed an emotion again: nervousness. _...she_ _cannot survive to start this again..._

... _as if they hadn't already been introduced..._ the girl thought, scathingly. ... _bunch of liars._

As I had been the one to kill her, I answered this time, snarling the name of the vindictive, red-haired vampire. "Her name was Victoria."

... _could he know that?_ the girl thought, shocked. I _didn't know..._

"Was?" Jane pressed me.

I nodded in the direction of our campsite, the purple cloud rising from the fire I'd left there was visible over the mountain tops.

 ** _Was!_ ** The newborn was practically ecstatic at the thought of her creator dead and burning.

"This Victoria." Jane hardened her thoughts, knowing I could see them without touching her, and not wanting me to see her involvement. But the moment she spoke her name, a memory of the feral vampire's face flashed across her mind. It didn't matter; thanks to the newborn, I already knew that they'd met before. "She was in addition to the eighteen here?"

"Yes," I said, keeping up the pretense. That we all knew they were lying was no reason to antagonize her. Playing their game would keep us alive and unharmed. "She had only one other with her. He was not as young as this one here," I nodded toward the young girl, "but no older than a year."

 _Riley!_ The name sounded like a shout of victory in the newborn's mind. I was aware of her savage pleasure in knowing that Victoria and Riley were both dead. _Diego has been avenged._

"Twenty." Jane's eyes widened. _…seven against twenty… and encumbered by that pathetic_ human– I felt her mind lash out at Bella briefly and stiffened, but my fragile human girl stayed unmoving and unharmed in my embrace.

… _seen southern covens destroyed by smaller armies… how? …_ Demetri was shocked and uncomprehending at how my family had managed to defeat the army with no loss to ourselves.

"Who dealt with the creator?" Jane probed.

"I did," I growled with fierce pleasure.

… _tell him anything…_ Felix worried.

Through Jasper's mind, I felt a wash of gratitude toward me from the newborn, but I didn't dare take my eyes off of Jane. However, Jasper glanced at her curiously. She was watching me with a small smile on her lips, her desperate need to drink Bella fading in the face of her pleasure at knowing her mate was avenged.

Seeing Jasper's glance, Jane turned her attention back to the young girl. "You there. Your name."

The girl met her eyes with more courage than I'd expected for one so young and clenched her teeth together, refusing to answer any questions. _…dead anyway…_

Jane smiled and I felt her mind stab at the young girl. Her mind was instantly ablaze with pain, and I felt the echo searing across my skin. Clenching my teeth, I tried to block her mind and concentrated on the feel of Bella's skin against mine. The warmth from her body was pleasant against mine, rather than the excruciating fires of Hell that I was aware the girl was feeling.

It lasted only a few seconds, but in that moment, the girl fell to the ground, screaming. I was aware of Jane's pleasure at making _somebody_ scream, even if it wasn't Bella or myself. I pressed my lips together and wondered how long she had kept me burning when I had been the one on fire. It had felt like centuries.

"Your name," Jane repeated.

"Bree," the girl gasped. Jane smiled again, and the girl was on fire once more.

… _please just kill me! Just make it stop! Isn't there a mind reader? Hear me and_ make it stop!

Shocked, I wondered how she knew about me. But then, Victoria had known; she must have told them, or rather, had Riley tell them. "She'll tell you anything you want to know. You don't have to do that," I snarled at her, knowing that she enjoyed her place as punisher for the Volturi.

"Oh, I know," Jane said, still smiling, although she was no longer attacking the girl. "Bree?"

The girl – Bree – trembled on the ground, anticipating the pain resuming, but it didn't.

"Is his story true? Were there twenty of you?"

The words spilled forth from her. "Nineteen or twenty, maybe more, I don't know! Sara and the one whose name I don't know got into a fight on the way…" She cringed, expecting more pain at her lack of knowledge, but Jane was happy enough with her answer.

"And this Victoria – did she create you?"

"I don't know," Bree's voice shook. "Riley never said her name. I didn't see that night..." I saw an image of her remembering being thrown down in front of a dark figure and a flash of teeth before the pain of her transformation began. "It was so dark, and it hurt! He didn't want us to be able to think of her. He said that our thoughts weren't safe."

Jane glanced at me. ... _very thorough... and yet, they still lost. Hmm..._

"Tell me about Riley," Jane pressed, returning her gaze to where Bree cringed in the dirt. "Why did he bring you here?"

"Riley told us that we had to destroy the strange yellow-eyes here. He said it would be easy. He said that the city was theirs, and they were coming to get us. He said once they were gone, all the blood would be ours. He gave us her scent." Bree pointed a trembling finger at Bella and my arms tightened about her, again. "He said we would know that we had the right coven, because she would be with them. He said whoever got to her first could have her."

I couldn't stop the growl from escaping my throat, and was more grateful than ever that I had kept Bella away from the clearing, even if it had meant a fierce fight with their creator. With Seth's help, I'd kept her safe, which I doubted I'd have been able to do with the entire army _plus_ Victoria after her. Especially not if she'd decided to cut herself like she'd done at the campsite.

Jane's lips twitched. "It looks like Riley was wrong about the easy part." ... _know anything about us, then..._

Though Jane was relieved, I could tell that Bree was happy as well. The two who had killed her mate were dead, and she was helping to protect those who'd killed _them:_ us. She'd lied to the liars, and she knew I could read minds – or at least, that one of us could – and that I was surely seeing the truth through her mind.

She sat up, and I felt a strong sense of victory in her mind. ... _take my revenge through the mind-reader... Hear me!_

"I don't know what happened," she explained to Jane calmly. ... _howler vampires get Kristie?_

' _Howler vampires'?_ I thought, and nearly laughed aloud at the way she'd identified the wolf pack in her mind.

... _keep their secret..._ "We split up, but the others never came. And Riley left us, and he didn't come to help like he promised. And then it was so confusing, and everybody was in pieces." She flinched, and I saw the memory of body parts flying as Emmett or Jasper ripped and tore our enemies to shreds, flinging their body parts away from themselves.

"I was afraid. I wanted to run away. That one," she indicated Carlisle, "said they wouldn't hurt me if I stopped fighting."

"Ah, but that wasn't his gift to offer, young one. Broken rules demand a consequence." She leveled her gaze at me briefly, before turning her attention to Carlisle.

"Are you sure you got all of them? The other half that split off?"

Carlisle nodded to Jane, calmly. "We split up, too," he told her truthfully. Even if we didn't count the wolves among our number, _I_ had left them.

... _hope those howlers were terrifying... serve Kristie right…_

"I can't deny that I'm impressed." I could hear the ring of truth in her words, seeing flashes of the same Southern Wars that Jasper had fought in flowing through her mind. They'd always been violent and had resulted in many deaths on all sides.

Felix, Alec, and Demetri murmured in agreement, the images in their minds similar to those in Jane's.

"I've never seen a coven escape this magnitude of offensive intact. Do you know what was behind it? It seems like extreme behavior, considering the way you live here." ... _blood of_ animals _, of all things..._ "And why was the girl the key?" Jane glanced at Bella, and I was aware of her briefly probing Bella's protective barrier with her mind.

"Victoria held a grudge against Bella," I explained.

_...makes sense... Riley wanted the human dead... we were expendable..._

Jane giggled and the sound sent a shiver down my spine. She would have been so _pleased_ if they had succeeded! "This one seems to bring out bizarrely strong reactions in our kind." She focused her stare on Bella again, pushing as hard against Bella's unique protection as her mind could. I was certain that if I were the one under her gaze, that no thoughts of Bella would have dampened the pain. The force behind her attack was so strong, I was wincing and shivering against the pain as it was, and I wasn't even her victim.

Livid, I growled at her, "Would you please not do that?"

Her attack ended and she laughed again. "Just checking. No harm done, apparently." ... _unfortunately..._

... _special in some way..._ Bree realized. ... _why don't they change her, then?_

I scowled at the newborn, not understanding how she could see that as a solution, considering the way she'd lived since her change. Didn't she miss her human life at all? She certainly hadn't been willing to become a vampire any more than I had been. I hated being a vampire, and _I_ had a loving family, where she had spent her life in fear. Yet still, she saw Bella's inevitable change as a _solution?_

"Well, it appears that there's not much left for us to do." She sighed. "Odd. We're not used to being rendered unnecessary. It's too bad we missed the fight. It sounds like it would have been entertaining to watch." _…or perhaps, adjust the outcome…_

"Yes," I flung my words at her. "And you were so close. It's a shame you didn't arrive just a half hour earlier. Perhaps then you could have fulfilled your purpose here."

Officially, their purpose should have been to stop the army. _Unofficially_ , their purpose was our defeat. The Volturi were our police. Cleaning up the unruly army had been their job, but I knew that there were layers upon layers of motives involved in the actions of the Italian coven, most of them aimed at keeping themselves in power. We were a threat, as I had realized months before, but not to some nameless vampire. We were a threat to the Volturi, to _Aro_.

Bree realized by my words that I was the mind-reader she'd been trying to warn, and that I'd heard everything she'd been trying to tell me. I couldn't spare her a glance, though. Jane's eyes were locked on me, and I didn't dare look away.

"Yes. Quite a pity how things turned out, isn't it?" Jane's voice was soft, but the threat was clear for me to hear. _…perhaps next time, we will not wait, and allow others to do our work for us. If we want something done right, then we must do it ourselves._

Jane turned her gaze back to Bree. ... _not a total waste... get to kill_ one _vampire, at least..._

Bree met her gaze evenly, knowing that she was moments away from death. She pictured Riley being torn apart the way she'd seen others of her coven tear each other up, the way she was sure Riley had torn Diego, and the way she hoped that I had shredded Riley and Victoria. The eyes of everyone there were on the young girl, but Bree glanced directly at me.

 _Thanks _for killing her_ , _she thought firmly. _... and especially for killing **him.**_

"Felix?" Jane turned to the hulking vampire.

I knew I was about to watch this girl get torn to pieces in front of me. I knew that the threat to my family wasn't past, not as long as the Volturi guard were there. Perhaps not as long as they existed at all. I knew that Bree was dangerous, bloodthirsty, and a threat to Bella. Her thirst would take a long time to control, and adding another member to my family would only draw yet more attention to us from both the humans and the Volturi. Yet this girl, younger than I was when I had died, and only a few months into this life, had done what she could to help my family. She'd lied to Jane, protected the limited knowledge that she had of the wolves, and had shown me exactly how involved the Volturi had been in the attack upon our family.

I owed her.

"Wait."

Jane turned her eyes to me, a shocked expression on her face. ... _you dare?!_

Deliberately, I avoided her eyes and turned to Carlisle. "We could explain the rules to the young one. She doesn't seem unwilling to learn. She didn't know what she was doing."

... _are you nuts! Edward, this newborn is a bigger threat than your human is!_ Rosalie glared at me, shocked.

Jasper, too, turned to stare at me. _Edward, what are you thinking? You can't be serious!_

I felt the hope leap in Esme and she squeezed Carlisle's hand hard, trying to hold on to her emotions.

"Of course," he said, quickly, as eager as Esme was to offer the girl another alternative. She didn't have to die, any more than she had to kill. "We would certainly be prepared to take responsibility for Bree."

I glanced to Alice, hopefully, but her mouth was twisted into a hard, sad line. She didn't want to see, and I didn't want to look, but Bree's future was clear. And it wasn't with us.

I felt Bree's gratitude, a combination of shock and pleasure, but also her resignation. She knew as well as I did what her fate was to be.

"We don't make exceptions. And we don't give second chances," Jane said in a low voice, glancing away from Bree to Bella. She met my eyes. _…not even to court the services of a future seer or a mind reader… and certainly not for a pathetic_ human girl _._ "It's bad for our reputation. Which reminds me…" Her mouth slowly spread into a wide, delighted grin. "Caius will be _so_ interested to hear that you're still human, Bella. Perhaps he'll decide to visit."

... _still human, then? Why bother waiting?_ Bree still didn't understand. Even with her death moments away, it surprised me that she didn't see why being a human was better than this dangerous world in which we lived.

Alice's clear voice rang through the clearing. "The date is set. Perhaps we'll come to visit you in a few months."

No longer smiling, Jane refused to acknowledge Alice with more than a shrug. She turned instead to Carlisle. "It was nice to meet you, Carlisle – I'd thought Aro was exaggerating. Well, until we meet again..." She turned and nodded at Felix once more.

Jasper studied the girl, surprised at her lack of fear. She was sad, but calm, and I caught the memory of another vampire's face – a blond boy this time. _Be nice to him, please…_ she thought, meeting my eyes again. I wanted to ask her what his name was, but there was no way I could do so without revealing that she had been communicating with me all along.

"Take care of that, Felix. I want to go home." Jane's voice was bored, a dull monotone that made me ache to tear her head from her shoulders, just so that I wouldn't have to hear her voice anymore. This brave girl deserved so much better than the fate she had been dealt.

Knowing there was nothing I could do about it, I pulled Bella closer to me, and stared into Bree's sad eyes. "Don't watch," I whispered to them both. Bella pressed her face against my chest, and Bree closed her eyes. I wished there was some way I could close my mind to the sounds of breaking metal, to the echo of the feeling of her limbs being torn from her body, and to the sensation of searing heat that rushed over me when she was tossed into the fire.


	40. Broken Son

**Author's Note**

So I'm posting early this week because reasons.

Okay, in truth, we're just so close to the end that I'm too excited to get there to wait lol.

Please, keep in mind the warning that I gave a few weeks ago is still in affect. This chapter may be a little graphic.

~L

* * *

**Broken Son**

They left as quickly as they had come, disappearing soundlessly into the trees while my family stared in horror at the fire where Bree was burning. I knew that if vampires could cry, Bella's eyes would not have been the only wet ones. I felt horrible that I hadn't been able to save the vampire girl. Though he wasn't amplifying or broadcasting it back to us, I was all too aware that Jasper could feel the grief Esme was holding in. Nor was he trying to diffuse or alter what he knew we were all feeling, knowing sometimes the best way to heal from a loss was to be allowed the chance to feel it. Esme's eyes never blinked, and her stare never wavered from the place where a girl who could have been a daughter to her was turning into ashes. More than ever before, I was certain I'd never return to this particular clearing, except, perhaps, to pay homage to a sister I'd never really had.

I didn't even know her last name, nor the name of the blond boy she'd wanted me to be nice to. I committed every detail of his face to my memory from the brief look her mind had given to me. If I ever ran into him, I would know him.

We couldn't stand around the fire for long, though. The danger to our family was over, but there was another who needed us. Jacob Black's bones would be healing all wrong and the pain he was surely in needed to be tended to. I couldn't even find it in me at that moment to feel pleasure at the thought of his pain.

Disgusted with myself, I thought of all the times over the past months I'd wished for exactly that. I'd _wanted_ to break his body, to crush his bones in my hands, to make him scream in pain for daring to try to steal Bella away from me. Now I'd gotten my wish, but instead of the sweetness of revenge, the taste was bitter in my mouth. He'd gotten hurt protecting my family, my Bella. He'd saved her life so often over the past few months and I had hated him for it. Everything he'd ever done had been in an attempt to protect her - from me, from the threat I posed to her life, from the existence I threatened her with.

I'd told them that I wouldn't fight fair, and I knew that I'd meant it. Would I have been willing to risk my life or my family's life to protect his as he had done for me? If I was simply Bella's friend and Jacob her boyfriend – her _fiancé_ – and there had been a pack of mutant mutts on their way to kill Jacob's tribe, would I have stood by and watched, hoping that they'd remove him for me, or would I have offered to help him, the way he'd offered to help me: freely, honestly, and without hesitation? If the situation were reversed, I doubted I would have behaved as honorably as he had.

Charlie was right; Bella deserved better than me. She deserved Jacob, and he deserved her. Despite knowing that I didn't want Bella hurt and that Jacob's death would hurt her, wouldn't I still have allowed it to happen? If I was not the one to directly cause it, wouldn't I have believed that I could have helped her to recover from it? Wouldn't I have rejoiced at the opportunity?

Carlisle touched my arm, drawing my attention away from the purple smoke that curled up into the cloudless sky.

"Bella needs to go with Alice, now. Especially with the Volturi in the area, we cannot risk Charlie becoming suspicious of our behavior. He believes she spent the night at our house. We need to reinforce that belief. Bella?" He turned his attention to her.

She pulled her tear streaked face away from my chest and met his eyes.

"We'll call as soon as you can come to see him."

I saw her face twist in his mind.

"I promise, he will be alright, Bella. You'll see; wolves heal quickly," he insisted.

"Can't I come now?"

"Bella, your father spent the morning with Billy. He is surely with him now. For you to come with us would raise questions."

"Oh. Right. Of course." She sniffed and swallowed hard, but nodded. Her voice was low and dull, but she agreed, "'Kay."

"Esme. Rose. Emmett. Jasper. You need to go home, too. Edward? I need you to come to La Push with me. We'll have to stop by home, first, though. There are some things I will need." ... _and I'll need your help setting his bones..._

I nodded, and kissed Bella's forehead before allowing Alice to take her away from me.

The last thing I wanted to do was to be separated from Bella right then, but I knew she was in no danger anymore. Victoria was ashes. The army was ashes. I tried unsuccessfully not to see Bree's face at that thought. The Volturi were leaving and had no reason to punish Bella for being human. Bella would be with Alice and I knew that there was no place safer for her than to be under the protection of my sister, even had any of those threats remained. No, now _I_ was the only threat to her life, as usual.

Although it was a bit incongruous to see my tiny sister so easily supporting the human girl who was bigger than the vampire to whom she was clinging, I knew that Alice was no more hampered by her passenger than I ever was. Bella hopped into position against Alice's back and my sister took off toward our home with the rest of my family right behind them.

Carlisle met my eyes and his brow furrowed, seeing my unhappy look.

"What is it?"

"They knew," I said flatly.

"The Volturi?"

I nodded. He nodded, too.

"Of course they did. How could they not?"

"You suspected they'd be here?" I asked sharply. "That they'd be directly involved?"

His eyes were worried as he frowned, shaking his head. "I knew that they had to have a reason not to have come for the newborns sooner. And for them to be here - _now_ \- that the timing was too perfect for them to have followed the newborn's trail from Seattle to find us here unless they already knew that this was where they were headed. Even with Demetri. _Especially_ with Demetri. If they had wanted to find the newborns before now, they could have. But I didn't think they were actually _involved."_

"Well they _were."_

"How so?"

"Bree." My throat closed over her name. I swallowed hard and tried again. "Bree was suspicious of her creator. She and another spied on Victoria and Riley. She was there watching when Jane paid them a little _visit,"_ I hissed.

He pressed his mouth together in a hard line.

"I wish we could've saved her," I whispered.

"It's not your fault, Edward," he said firmly. "You can't take the blame for this one."

"No? If I hadn't gone to the Volturi then – "

"Then a delegation would have been sent to stop the newborns sooner, and Victoria's army would never have made it out of Seattle. But they would still all have been killed."

"Wouldn't that have been better? Bree was so young. This could've been stopped before she was turned – "

"You can't know that for certain."

"Victoria, then. If they stopped her from continuing to make the army – and they had _known_ where to find her – "

"Have you learned nothing from Jasper? Many Southern coven members escaped the Volturi's purge. I believe that, if the Volturi _had_ come to kill the army and its creator, they would not have found Victoria anywhere near Seattle. Didn't you say she had a survival instinct?"

"Yes." I frowned, thinking of how I had seen her trying to use it when I'd fought her.

"It didn't kick in because the Volturi weren't here to kill her. However, if they had been – "

"You think she'd have run?"

"I am certain of it. And I'm also certain that she learned a lot in this attempt. If she'd have survived to start this again, she might just have succeeded the next time."

Nodding in agreement, I frowned, not wanting to be comforted, but finding myself reassured, nonetheless.

"You'll need to do something for Esme," I said softly. "She's going to be grieving for Bree."

He sighed. "Yes, I was afraid of that."

"She had already begun to think of her as a daughter."

"As you were already thinking of her as a sister?"

Startled, I looked back to meet his eyes. Mine had been drawn again to the smoking pile where Bree still burned. I saw his deep compassion in his look and shook my head. Of course. I should have known that Carlisle would see through me.

"She would have made a good Cullen," I whispered.

"I'm sorry, Edward."

"Me, too."

He gripped my arm. "We will take the time to grieve later. Now, we have someone else who needs us, and he cannot wait."

I took a steadying breath and nodded. "Yes. Of course. Let's go."

We ran home, needing to retrieve Carlisle's Mercedes in order to keep up appearances. I darted to my room to get a shirt that wasn't torn in half, and joined Carlisle in his study where he was gathering supplies.

"I'm not stocked with everything I'll need for his long term care, but at least this will get us started. Later, I'll go to the hospital and get anything else we need." I just nodded, and continued to shove the things he was tossing to me into his medical bag.

... _good thing I'm so well supplied... wouldn't be if Bella were a little more..._

A slow smile spread over my face, and I murmured, "Graceful?"

He glanced at me, slightly embarrassed, but seeing my grin, he laughed. "Yes."

I chuckled. Her clumsiness had always made me laugh. Perhaps it was because it was so at odds with her graceful soul. I could see her grace when she sat still – lost in thought, or concentrating on her school work. It was there when she cooked, and when she moved when she thought no one was watching, even though I _always_ was.

We were already in the car when I felt my phone buzz. Quickly pulling it from my pocket, I saw that it was the same number which Bella had called earlier when she'd spoken with Billy.

"Hello," I answered, tensely. In the background, I could hear Jacob's voice, cussing at his brothers.

"Edward? It's Billy." Jacob's father's voice was low, as though he was trying to speak without being overheard. "Given the circumstances, Sam has offered... Our treaty forbids it, but... Can you ask Dr. Cullen to come – "

"We're already on our way," I stopped him. Suspecting the reason behind his whispered words, I asked, "Is Charlie still there?"

"Y – " He cleared his throat. "Yes."

I nodded, glad he'd been kept safe. "We're about ten minutes out."

"Thank you," he sighed and hung up.

Carlisle pushed the gas pedal further, coaxing the car to its top speed. His lips were pressed in a thin line, and his eyebrows were pulled together. He'd heard Jacob's screams through the phone as clearly as I had. I could hear him going over everything he'd learned about setting bones, watching as he specifically brought forth what he'd learned before modern technology.

... _won't have access to a sterile room if we need to perform surgery..._

"I doubt it would work if we did. The rate they heal, as soon as you'd make the first cut, his skin would start to regrow."

Carlisle grunted, frowning. He glanced sharply at me. "There may be blood anyway. Are you prepared for that?"

I scoffed. "Wolf blood smells terrible."

He raised an eyebrow at me. ... _exactly how would you know that?_

"He cut himself at Bella's. She missed a spot when she cleaned it up." I wanted to laugh at the memory, but I was feeling too guilty over the fact the my wish for Jacob to be greatly harmed had been granted. _I'd_ wanted to harm him. I'd _wanted_ to hear him scream. Now, I knew that I would never forget the sound of him screaming, and would hate the memory each time it surfaced.

"What is it?" he asked, seeing my tension.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"I need you to have a clear head here, Edward. Talk to me."

I sighed, scooting down in the seat. "There's nothing to talk about."

"What have I told you about shutting me out?"

"I'm not."

"Do I need to go to the Blacks' myself?"

"Carlisle," I groaned. "Will you please just drop it? I'm _fine._ I'll _be_ fine. Just get us there, alright?"

He sighed. "If you insist." ... _know that I would not have asked this of you if I didn't have to, but I need someone with at least_ some _medical training..._

"I may not have my Doctorate, but I can be your nurse. I completed enough med school to be able to assist you."

He smiled at me. "I know."

For the first time in seventy years, we crossed the border surrounding the Quileute reservation. As Carlisle sped down the main road leading in to the tiny village, I closed my eyes and cast my mind as far forward as I could reach. We didn't know exactly where the Blacks lived, but I heard the anxious minds when we were close enough and guided Carlisle to their front door. I was glad the place was surrounded by trees. Charlie was there, and the sun was bright after the fierce storm.

"...need to get him to the hospital!" Charlie was yelling at Billy.

"Dr. Cullen is on his way here," he replied calmly, his voice no longer betraying the anxiety I'd heard over the phone.

"They're off camping somewhere. It could be hours before they get here!"

"They came back early."

... _what? Why? ...that's weird, but then... every damned thing has been off today!_ "Well, even so, you can't expect him to be able to properly treat that kind of injury _here!"_

"Jacob will be fine," Sam said, firmly. "It looks worse than it is."

"I told your son that motorcycles were dangerous. He and Seth are lucky to be alive! Billy, I can't believe you're just going to leave him in his room – "

"Jake's old enough to make his own decisions about what vehicle he drives, and Seth is fine. If anything, this might teach him to be a little safer around those mountain turns."

Before Carlisle could knock on the door, it was flung open by Seth. The smell that assaulted me at having so many of the pack in a small enclosed space was revolting, but I was as careful as Carlisle was not to let my reaction to them show.

… _knew I smelled ya!_ "Come on in, Edward, Dr. Cullen. Jake's in his room." At any other time, I might have laughed at the young wolf's unrestrained enthusiasm. Now that he was back in his human form, I could see why Charlie was so worried over the young man. He still wore the evidence of his fight against Riley, with his shoulder sporting a rather large purplish bruise from where the vampire had kicked him. The edges were already fading toward yellow though, and I thought he should probably leave before Charlie noticed. At the moment, he was far more interested in Jacob.

As the wolf in question could be heard still cussing at his brothers, Carlisle smiled at the young man. "Yes. I can hear my patient from here."

"Dr. Cullen," Charlie greeted him in surprise before turning to greet me in the same tone. "Edward."

"Good morning, Chief Swan," Carlisle said, pleasantly, ignoring the wolves who were glaring at the two of us. "What brings you here this early? Filling out an accident report?"

I didn't know how Carlisle was able to maintain his calm so easily. Being surrounded by the hostile wolves had me on edge. My muscles were trembling, and my venom flowing. Their unspoken insults were impossible for me to ignore, but I resisted growling in response.

"Well, no." As worried as he was for Jacob, he couldn't understand why we were all acting so unconcerned. Carlisle's question diverted him, and I saw the image he was trying to keep at bay. Rather than Jacob in the small room, he kept seeing Bella's broken body, bound up in casts as she had been after James's attack. "We – we were fishing."

Carlisle nodded as though he didn't already know how the two had spent the morning. "I'm sure Billy knows all the best spots. But if you'll excuse me, it sounds like I have a patient who needs me. Edward?" He nodded for me to accompany him and made his way through the press of bodies toward the small bedroom down the hall.

Unable to speak around the mouthful of venom, I simply nodded to Charlie and followed my father past the pack of werewolves.

"Somebody open a window," I heard one of them mutter as Carlisle opened Jacob's door.

Seeing us enter his room, Jacob laughed and rolled his eyes. There was a touch of hysteria in his voice when he spoke. "Oh, perfect. Just perfect. This is _exactly_ what I need. What the hell do _you_ want? Come to break my other leg?" I clenched my teeth together, trying not to stare at the broken boy on the small bed.

His right leg was bent above the knee at a sick angle with the broken end of the bone pushing against the skin, but not breaking it. His right arm lay across his chest and I wasn't sure which bend was his natural elbow and which were breaks. His shoulder looked oddly flattened, and I could see a large pattern of bruising all across his chest. I was sure his collarbone was broken too, as it didn't lie at quite the same angle as the other one. He was covered in sweat and his muscles were locked and trembling.

I had wished for this. I had wanted to _do_ this to him. I had taken my fury out on wolves and left their bodies in worse condition than Jacob was, but those had been animals. I had never actually expected to see the results of what so many broken bones looked like in a human. I couldn't look away and stood frozen in the doorway like a statue.

Rather than answer Jacob, Carlisle turned to Quil and Embry, who were trying to keep Jacob from thrashing around and injuring himself further. "We'll take it from here gentlemen, thank you."

Eyeing us warily, they didn't move until, from the living room, Sam's voice reinforced Carlisle's request that they leave. "Quil! Embry!" Unable to disobey their pack leader, they stood from where they were crouched at Jacob's bedside, and I forced myself to move out of the doorway to let them pass.

Moving quickly, Carlisle opened his bag and retrieved the pain medications that he had brought. Jacob watched my father fill a syringe with a thick white liquid, and his eyes grew wide.

"Okay, Jacob," Carlisle began in his low, comforting voice. "I'm going to give you something for the pain. It should be enough to knock you out, and then we can set your bones. When you wake, you should feel much better."

"Will I?" he spat at me.

I understood what he meant: not would he feel better, but would he _wake._ Since the other wolves were gone, I was able to clear my mouth of my venom and spoke to him. "We're not here to hurt you, Jacob. Do you really think we would do anything to you with that pack out there?" I tried to make my mouth smile as I jabbed my thumb over my shoulder.

"Who knows what you're capable of? I know you don't fight fair. I'm sure you saw what happened and I wouldn't put it past you to – "

"Jacob," I stopped him, shaking my head. "It's because of you that any of my family is even still alive, myself and Bella included. Trust me, trust _Carlisle_. Please."

He shifted his gaze to Carlisle and – without lifting his left arm - he pointed a finger at the syringe. "What's in that?"

"It's a mixture of two sedatives. One is propofol and the other is called fentanyl. You'll feel the effects almost immediately. We need you to go to sleep, Jacob," he insisted, seeing the distrust in Jacob's eyes. "We can't set your bones properly if your muscles fight against us."

Eventually he nodded, just a single jerk of his chin, but it was enough. Carlisle was at his side instantly, swirling an alcohol wipe across Jacob's exposed left elbow. He deftly inserted the needle into the vein there and pushed the medication into his bloodstream. As promised, the young man's eyes fluttered closed and only seconds later, his body went limp.

We moved his bed away from the wall, giving us better access to both sides of him, even if it did restrict the already limited space. Working with all the speed of which a vampire was capable, Carlisle began his examination while I closed the bedroom door and opened a window. I was forcefully reminded of the time when I'd watched him examine my Bella as she lay broken and bleeding after James's attack. The image was only made worse by the thoughts of Charlie, who was still in the living room with Billy and the rest of the wolves.

Starting at Jacob's head, Carlisle felt for any breaks in his skull, down the vertebrae in his neck, across his shoulders, down his breastbone and ribs – carefully repositioning the arm as he examined it, too – his pelvic bone, and finally down his legs. I listened carefully to his mental list of Jacob's injuries, concentrating on what Carlisle found to help block out the voices in the living room.

... _get the pulse-ox and prepare several more doses of the fentanyl... You'll need to monitor his thoughts closely and give the next dose if you suspect he is regaining consciousness..._

Following Carlisle's instructions, I took the portable monitor and clipped it onto a finger on Jacob's left hand, knowing that it was important that we make certain the medication wasn't affecting his breathing. Once I had the next doses prepared, I knelt by Carlisle's side, seeing in his mind where he needed me. He pressed his fingers into Jacob's thigh, feeling the break through the muscles and assessing whether there were any shards or if the break was clean.

... _just need to straighten it. Hold his leg here... don't want to dislocate the joint when I..._

Putting a hand on either side of the break, he applied a hard, fast pressure in opposing directions and the bone broke along the poorly healing line of new growth. The sound was worse than my imagined daydreams when I'd thought of throwing Mike Newton against a wall, or of snapping Jacob's body in half myself. It was a loud, wet crunch and I felt Jacob's body jump under my hands, the pain of the action seeming to reach him even in his drugged state.

The door to his bedroom was thrown open with a bang, and I glanced over Carlisle's shoulder to see half the pack standing behind Sam who was glaring at my father with his hands clenched into lightly trembling fists. He took in Jacob's still form and the blinking lights of the oxygen monitor in one quick sweep of his eyes before they settled on mine. His face was twisted into a furious glower, and I knew that his ears - more sensitive than a human's even when he was not in his wolf form - had heard the sickening crunch.

Although I knew he was aware of our audience, Carlisle never looked away from his patient, and I heard him instructing me on how and where he needed me to apply pressure. Grateful that Jacob was unconscious and I was unable to hear or feel his pain, I looked away from Sam and followed Carlisle's instructions. I pulled upwards, exerting force just below the hip while he twisted and pulled downward above the knee. Making certain to avoid rubbing the ends of the bones against each other, he carefully repositioned the broken bone, as well as the muscles and tendons, guiding everything back into a natural straight line. The leg was briefly longer than it should have been as he pulled on it, but when he let go, the leg looked normal again. Carlisle pressed his fingers into the muscles once more, feeling along the bone to see if he had the alignment correct.

He nodded to himself. ... _good... get a splint for it later... start healing quickly now that it's set properly._

Seeing the obvious improvement, Sam grunted and left, shutting the door behind himself.

Carlisle's eyes flashed up to meet mine briefly before he moved to feel along Jacob's hip, confirming that we hadn't aggravated the fracture there. Moving to Jacob's shoulder, he had to re-break the collarbone, using just his fingers to snap the improper alignment. I pulled slightly on his dislocated shoulder to give Carlisle room to press the bone back into place. When I let go, he felt the small bone carefully to confirm that it had returned it to its proper position.

Hearing an echo of pain in Jacob's mind, I gave him the next dose of the medication I'd prepared, though less than five minutes had passed.

"Must be his high body temperature, burning off the medication quicker than normal," I muttered.

"Mmm," Carlisle agreed. I heard him debating which bones to reposition first while he probed the breaks in his arm. We repeated our actions from his thigh, popping the shoulder joint back into its socket as we went. He assured that the bones would stay in place by wrapping the arm securely in some long gauze strips we'd brought.

... _no point in trying to put it in a cast, but we'll have to secure it better once we're done with the rest of him..._

He sat back and studied Jacob for a second, seeming to be uncertain for the first time since we'd entered the room.

"It's his ribs I'm concerned with now," he muttered. "I can feel shards, and those can be dangerous to his internal organs. The pieces must have separated when he transformed, and they won't heal right on their own as they are." He looked up to meet my eyes, his eyebrows creased by a deep, worried frown.

Seeing what he intended, I gasped in shock and whispered, "We can't exactly open him up here!"

"What other choice do we have?" He glanced at the device that was monitoring Jacob's vitals and pressed the back of his hand against Jacob's sweaty cheek. "Do you want to take him to the hospital and explain why his brains aren't cooking when they take his temperature? Not to mention how fast he will heal?"

Even from where I crouched, I could feel the heat pouring off of his body. "Of course not, but..."

"I have sterile instruments and iodine to sterilize his skin and – "

"You can't be serious!" I hissed.

He met my eyes calmly. "Do you have a better suggestion? He can't heal from this on his own." He gestured to Jacob's chest. "We'll be quick, you can keep the incision open so that it won't heal while I work, and we can be done with this in a couple of minutes. It won't be long enough for him to bleed out, and as sedated as he is, he won't feel anything. He'll be healing long before he wakes."

I swallowed hard. Assisting him with setting bones was one thing. Assisting him with _surgery_ , with Jacob's blood flowing between my hands...

"Hold your breath and close your eyes if you need to."

"As if that would make a difference," I muttered. "I'd still see through yours."

"Didn't you tell me that his blood was unappealing?"

"Yes, but... that had been after the fact... just a few drops on a knife, not... not..." I trailed off, looking into his calm, amber eyes. He was picturing Bella in the ballet studio, but it was not her broken body he was focused on. It was his son that he saw; it was me. Bella's wrist was in my mouth, my eyes were closed, my hands clamped on her arm, and a look of intense concentration was on my face as I pulled the venom from James's bite out of her veins.

_Are you or are you not the vampire who drank his singer's blood in order that she might live?_

Knowing that I would forever carry the taste of her glorious perfection in my mind, I clamped my teeth together and nodded once.

_You can do this Edward, but I can't do it without you. Do you want to save Jacob Black, or not?_

So fast it could have simply appeared out of thin air, his bag was in my hands and I was handing him what he needed.

"We should splint his leg first; we're going to have to roll him over and his leg can't be healed enough yet to handle that without support. I need you to ask Billy for some towels, a bunch of them, and you're going to need to scrub your hands. We don't harbor bacteria the way humans do, and with his body temp, he's not likely to develop an infection from any local bacteria, but, still, we should take every precaution we can, considering the conditions we're having to work in." He was babbling, his nerves getting the better of him despite the confidence he was trying to project to me. Though he'd performed many surgeries over his century as a doctor, he'd never operated on a werewolf before, and the circumstances were hardly ideal.

I climbed out of the small, open window and returned seconds later with several long, straight branches in my hands. We positioned them along his leg, using more of the rolls of gauze to tie them in place. Hating that I had to move at a human pace with Charlie in the room, I explained to Billy what we needed – though not _why_ \- and the pack hurried to gather towels from their houses instead of using up all of Billy's.

We injected another dose of the sedative into Jacob before rolling him onto his right side, using the rolled towels both as support for his body, his broken leg and arm, and to absorb the blood that was about to be spilled. Carlisle had his instruments spread around him with their sterile packages opened and serving as a work surface. Our hands were cleaned and his side was coated in the iodine solution, which was tinging his skin a sickly orange. The room was full of foul odors, both from _him_ and from the iodine – the sharp chemical smell made my nose burn and sting. Or was that from the pack which was still able to smell us? I wasn't sure, but didn't care enough to figure it out.

"Are you ready?" he asked, looking into my worried eyes. I could see myself in his mind, my lips were drawn back from my teeth in a feral snarl, my eyes were wide, and their color had already turned black many hours earlier. The sight didn't reassure him, and he spoke fervently. "Trust me, Edward."

I controlled my facial expression and nodded. "I do. Of course I do. Get on with it."

"Hold your breath," he unnecessarily advised me. I took a deep breath just before Carlisle made the first incision.

He worked quickly, making small, controlled cuts, avoiding severing any veins or arteries, and I was surprised at how little blood there was. I kept my limited medical training in my mind as I followed his movements and his thoughts. I had his instruments held out for him the instant his mind thought of the one he needed and held the incision open for him while he worked.

Concentrating on Carlisle didn't prevent me from being far too aware of the red liquid that oozed from Jacob's body. Over and over I swallowed my venom and reminded myself of how disgusting he smelled, how rotten his blood had smelled, that drinking him would mean my death, though I was too terrified to breathe and verify that his fresh blood smelled as bad as what had been left on the knife.

As fast as Carlisle worked, and as damaged as Jacob's body was aside from the ribs we were repairing, he wasn't healing as quickly as we'd feared. Carlisle was able to expose the shattered ribs, find the sharp splinters, and piece him back together.

... _don't need to use metal plates... he'll heal fast enough without them... just get everything positioned right, his body will take care of the rest... maybe a few dissolvable stitches..._

He found where the sharp edges of bone had sliced through veins and arteries on their own – the cause of his bruising – and sewed them closed. In less time than it had taken my father to set Jacob's other bones, the surgery was done, and I was pressing his skin back together, watching as the thin line began to show signs of healing, even before Carlisle added stitches to keep the incision closed.

"Just hold him still a few moments longer while I get him cleaned up and dispose of these towels..." He disappeared, and the red stained towels that had been around Jacob were gone in the same instant. Seconds later, Carlisle was climbing back through the same small window I'd used, wiping his hands dry on a clean towel we'd set aside.

He washed the iodine solution off of Jacob's skin during the brief moment when I leapt outside to wash my hands as Carlisle had done. Strange as it seemed, using the outdoor spigot was less conspicuous than crossing the hall, as covered in Jacob's blood as our hands had been. Neither Charlie nor the pack would have understood.

I held his body off of the mattress, supporting him carefully so that the repairs weren't affected by our movements while Carlisle wrapped his chest and shoulder tight enough to prevent movement of the bones or joints without restricting his circulation. We used the last of the gauze he'd brought to secure Jacob's arm across his body.

... _keep his arm secure and more comfortable... better position to promote healing of his various injuries..._

Although it had felt like hours – days, even – less than thirty minutes had passed since we first entered Jacob's room. He was still unconscious, but I wasn't sure if it was the medication at that point, or his mind protecting itself, as Bella's had done when she'd fainted in my arms. We pushed his bed back against the wall and surveyed our patient. His body looked much more natural, his leg lay straight, his arm had only one elbow again, and his shoulder was rounded and no longer lopsided.

Carlisle clasped a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, my son. You made an excellent nurse. I only wish all of my nurses were telepathic," he said with a chuckle. "You made the surgery very easy."

I didn't want to feel pride from his words, but couldn't ignore the glow that his praise gave to me. Jacob would live and be whole once more. I had held his bleeding body in my hands and had not given in to my thirst, whether his blood would have satisfied it or not.

"I should go to the hospital now and get something better than sticks to splint his leg, along with the medicine he'll need. Will you stay?"

"Of course." I nodded, leaning against the wall.

Charlie confronted Carlisle as soon as he entered the living room. "Well, Dr. Cullen, are you ready to get that boy to the hospital, or – "

"Oh, no, no," Carlisle countered, quickly. I could see Charlie's shocked expression in Carlisle's mind. "There's no need for that. He broke his right leg, and his right arm, but I'm sure you were able to see that for yourself. They may not have looked it, but the breaks were very neat, and easily set. You can go and see him if you'd like." He glanced around the room, including the entire pack in his statement. Sam instantly strode toward the room, with the rest of the pack on his heels.

"You – you're done?!"

"Yes, Charlie. Jacob will be fine. However, there are some things I need for him from the hospital. Edward's going to stay while I go get what I need. Billy." He turned toward Jacob's father. "I'll only be gone a few minutes. I've left medicine for him should he happen to stir while I'm gone. Edward knows how to administer it."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen. I can't tell you how much we appreciate your assistance." He held his hand out to my father, gripping it firmly when he accepted the shake. I was surprised to see that he didn't flinch even the slightest as his warm hand encountered my father's cold one.

"No thanks are necessary, Billy. I'm sure that, if it were my family members in need, Jacob wouldn't have hesitated to come to our aid, either." I could see the understanding flow between the two men, as I had witnessed seventy years earlier when it had been Ephriam Black's hand my father had clasped. Only this time, there were true feelings of friendship and trust replacing the cautious tolerance and fear that had once been in their minds. With Charlie watching, neither side could say more, but I wondered if the effects of this truce would be even more lasting than our earlier treaty had been.

Sam, Quil, and Embry were the first through the door into Jacob's room, and I slid over to a corner to give them room. Werewolves were all _huge_. The tiny room had no more space for the rest of the pack, but they gathered around the open door, craning their necks to see around each other. I could hear the relief in their minds as they took in Jacob's much improved appearance. They didn't stay long. As soon as Carlisle left the house, Charlie wheeled Billy down the hall, and the pack moved outside.

I could hear Billy fighting with his emotions as he sat by his son's bed. Not wanting to interfere, but feeling that I shouldn't leave, I sank to the floor, sitting out of the way against a wall while Charlie comforted his best friend. He murmured words of understanding, telling him how he'd felt seeing Bella in casts, stressing how lucky Jacob was, how skilled my father was, and anything else he could think of to comfort and reassure his friend. Charlie was normally a man of few words, but in the face of his friend's need, he talked for hours while Billy watched over his broken son.


	41. Choices

**Choices**

Several times, I felt stirrings of pain in Jacob's mind and gave him more of the sedative Carlisle had left. With Charlie in the room, I pretended to need to stick to a time-table for the dosing, and he didn't question me. In between comforting Billy, the thoughts I was able to catch were less of an inner monologue than flashes of images as he remembered Bella hurt in some way, usually after coming home from a day spent with Jacob during my months away.

The number of times she'd apparently come home cut or bruised made me frown. I didn't like seeing her perfect skin damaged and wondered how many of her injuries she'd hidden from him. Why was she always being placed in harm's way?

I saw him recalling the pack carrying Jacob into Billy's house and flinched away from the sound of Jacob's voice in Charlie's mind.

 _"._.. _bet you're glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie?"_

I avoided his gaze, but his eyes were thoughtful while they studied me. I could see Charlie in Billy's mind, and myself in Charlie's. I looked _awful_. There were dark purple smudges under my eyes, which were a flat black, though they'd been a light amber just the day before. Even had I not watched the change occur as I argued with Jacob in the tent, their color would not have surprised me, considering all of the events from the previous night as well as that morning. In fact, if my eyes had been anything _other_ than black, I would have been shocked.

I couldn't stop staring at Jacob. Over and over my mind replayed his memory of kissing Bella, and I remembered the furious desire to kill him that I'd had so often over the past few months. It wasn't his reaction to the kiss that I kept seeing though; it was Bella's. She insisted that she loved me. Again and again she had chosen me over him, and I didn't understand why.

Jacob had said to me, "may the better man win," and truth be told, I felt that man was him. He had saved her life so many times, whereas I was always the one to threaten it. Watching the injuries she'd accrued during my absence, I wondered how many more she would have gotten if not for the wolf I'd hated. He had proven he was better than I was in so many ways. Why couldn't Bella see that? I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if one day she _did_ see it, but it was too late.

Finally, Carlisle came back with the supplies he needed to start an IV, the medication he wanted Jacob to start, and a brace for his broken leg to replace the sticks to which it had been tied.

"You were gone forever," I muttered to him after Charlie and Billy left Jacob's small room.

He sighed through his nose, shook his head, and rubbed his forehead. "The most time consuming part of my job is dealing with the paperwork. It was all I could do to get their approval to take what I needed. I was beginning to think I would have to go back after dark and steal it, though I probably would have had to raid a different hospital if that were the case. It would have been too suspicious if exactly what I had been denied ended up missing later the same day. The amount of morphine I wanted to take would have gotten their attention immediately. As it was I nearly got trapped there by the sun."

With the supplies and equipment set up, he glanced at me. "You might want to hold your breath again." ... _starting an IV is messy…_

I watched him insert and then remove the needle, leaving behind the flexible catheter in his vein. He took several tubes of Jacob's blood before hooking up the antibiotics and morphine pump. Once he cleaned up the blood that had spilled, I cautiously started breathing again, noting the additional rotten smell in the room.

"How is Billy?" he asked, glancing at me.

I laughed weakly. "Worried. And a little jealous, I think."

 _Jealous?_ Carlisle's brows furrowed in confusion.

"Yes. He wishes he could have been part of the action."

"Ah." He glanced toward the living room. _And Charlie?_

I shrugged.

"Is he suspicious?"

"Only of our early return. We were supposed to be camping for much longer."

"Well, don't worry about that. I will take care of it."

I nodded, my eyes still locked on Jacob.

He eyed me for a long moment before continuing in a casually conversational tone, "Sam told Charlie that Jacob and Seth were in a motorcycle accident."

"I know."

"I called Rosalie while I was waiting at the hospital. I asked if she, Emmett, and Jasper would fabricate some evidence to support that story. Rose said that she could use some of her stash of older car parts to leave at the scene."

"How generous of her."

"From the sound of it, Emmett and Jasper are going to have quite a bit of fun creating skid marks, gouges in the road, and a point or two of impact on the trees."

I grunted.

_Edward…_

"What?" My voice was flat.

_How are you holding up?_

Pretending to misunderstand him, I shook my head. "I wasn't injured."

_You know that is not what I'm talking about._

"I'm fine," I said in a hard voice.

 _Really,_ he drawled.

"Yes," I sighed.

_You are certain of that, are you?_

Groaning, I insisted, _"Yes."_

_You're fine. There is nothing remotely wrong with you._

"Nothing at all."

_Because from where I am standing, "fine" is not a word I would use to describe you right now._

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Carlisle…"

 _Tell me what you are thinking._ It wasn't a request. His tone was commanding, one of a coven leader, more than the head of a family. It wasn't a tone he used often, but I could no more refuse to answer to it than a member of Sam's pack could refuse him.

"Rose is right," I whispered.

He raised his eyebrows, and I felt the alarm in his mind. "The last time you said those words nearly ended in your death, and Bella's too. I thought you were past this. You and Bella are mates. You are getting _married._ Please tell me you aren't thinking of running away again."

"No," I demurred, softly.

"Then what?"

"Bella's making the wrong choice."

As he stared at me, his thoughts were incoherent, though I could tell there was a smoldering anger within his mind. I caught flashes of my face from the past century as well as the more recent, happier images of me and Bella together. Finally, he growled, "Why would you say that?"

"You know why."

"Because you still don't believe that you are alive?"

"Jacob isn't a serial killer," I deflected.

"You don't kill people anymore."

"The vampires I killed this year?"

He shook his head. "That is not the same thing. Two were self-defense and the other... well, I am sure you had a reason."

"Jacob can give her a family. She'd stay human, be able to have Charlie in her life, Renée, her human friends..."

"She doesn't want any of that. She wants you."

"She may think she wants this life, but that doesn't make giving it to her right."

He sighed and leaned against a wall, rubbing the back of his neck absently before scrubbing at his face and taking a deep breath. "We have talked before about you taking her choices from her."

"I'm not."

"What then?" he demanded.

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed, frustrated and confused. "I don't _know."_

He studied me, drawing on his medical lore, this time. "There is such a thing as survivor's guilt. One person is killed or," he gestured to the boy in front of us, "hurt, and one is not." He gestured to me. "Jacob's injury was not your doing – "

"I _wanted_ it!" The words escaped me before I could censor them. Far too vividly, I could recall the feeling of ripping apart and crushing a pack of wolves out of anger and pain. How I had wished at the time that they were not real wolves.

He nodded. "Ah. I see."

"What? What do you _think_ you see?"

He ignored my sarcasm. "How did Jacob feel about you? Can you tell me that he never imagined tearing you apart? Turning you into ashes?"

"Well... no, but - "

"You are so talented, my son."

I looked away from Jacob to glare at him and demanded through gritted teeth, "What do you mean?"

His lips were twisted into a wry smile. "You can read minds, you can make beautiful music, and you can make everything your fault. It's quite a broad range of gifts."

"I can't believe you're joking about this," I snarled. I wanted to pace, but there wasn't space to do so in the small room, so I settled for drumming my fingers against my crossed arms.

"How often have you seen people wish for things to happen?" He didn't wait for me to answer. "How often do those things _actually_ occur? You just happened to be unlucky enough to see one of your wishes granted, and then to see the consequences. Jacob will heal. You helped to assure that. You may have wanted him hurt, but you did not hurt him. You helped to heal him."

I scowled and looked away, not wanting to be reassured by his logic.

"With your ability to see into people's minds, you should know that you are not to blame for everything. You, better than anyone, know how often people wish for things that they don't _really_ want. If you had crushed his bones yourself, then this guilt that you feel would be warranted. But you did not, and it is not. In another month, when Jacob is walking on his own two or - " he smiled _" - four_ legs, you will see that I am right. In the meantime, we will see to it that he is in no pain and that his injuries are healing properly and completely. The rest is up to God."

I scoffed.

"Fine. The rest is up to Bella, then."

That was one truth I couldn't deny. I nodded and whispered, "As long as she wants me, I'm hers. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not going to force her into... anything." I said the last word with an unhappy twist to my mouth.

I _was_ forcing her into something. She wanted me to make love to her. She wanted to spend eternity with me. She wanted me to change her into a vampire myself. But in order to get me to agree to any of those things, she'd had to agree to marry me - something she _didn't_ want.

I sighed. Alice was going to be very unhappy with me.

"Go on, Carlisle. I'm fine. Get Charlie out of here so that Bella can come over. She's probably going crazy with worry right now."

"Yes," he agreed after a pause. "I'm sure you are right." He left the room and I leaned against a wall again, sliding down it to sit on the floor and watch Jacob Black.

"Alright Billy, I believe I'm done here. I will be back in a few hours to refill his medications. Edward is going to stay to keep an eye on him for a while longer."

Billy nodded his understanding. "Thank you, again."

Carlisle glanced at Charlie. "You two are lucky that you were able to get any fishing done this morning. We had a whole weekend planned, but that storm last night ruined everything."

"Oh, er, yes. It did get kinda windy here," Charlie agreed, hesitantly. ... _wind have to do with anything... died down now... still be off hiking or whatever it is they do..._

"Can you believe it actually snowed on the mountains? Isn't this supposed to be June?" He laughed, sounding natural and sincere. My father was even better than I was at manipulating humans, and Charlie's suspicions eased slightly. "I thought we were all going to get frostbite, the temperature dropped so fast! My sons and I couldn't get everything packed up quickly enough to suite Esme. She had us up at the break of dawn, dismantling the tents. I'm just glad the roads were navigable. And I'm very glad we were already in town when we got your call, Billy."

"Me, too," he agreed, fervently.

"Well, Charlie, I think Edward and Billy have everything under control, here. I imagine Bella and Alice will be back from Portland, soon." Carlisle gestured toward the door with one hand, holding the other out toward Charlie to indicate he should go through it first.

Charlie took the hint and said his goodbyes to Billy, leaving at the same time as my father did. Billy wheeled himself back into Jacob's room to sit with me. I didn't know what to say to the man whose son I had wanted to kill, so I waited in silence for him to speak first.

Eventually, he deliberately thought to me, _So..._ _Jacob tells me that you can read minds?_

I nodded.

_You can hear me right now?_

"I can," I confirmed.

_Can you hear him?_

"Not at the moment, Billy," I assured him quickly. "He's deeply asleep."

"He's not in any pain then?" _Or is that something that you would even know?_

"I would know. And no, he isn't."

"Good," he sighed in relief.

It seemed like only a few minutes later that I heard Carlisle returning. Able to tell from his thoughts that Bella was with him, I rushed outside, not even bothering to excuse myself from Billy's presence. I needed to see Bella too badly to be polite. I pulled her from Carlisle's car, hugging her against me, but she only clung to me for a second before pulling away to go to the house. I was grateful that she clasped my hand in hers, indicating she wanted me with her when she saw her friend.

Billy had left Jacob's room and greeted Bella like a daughter.

"Is – is Jake – " Bella's voice was choked, unable to speak her fears aloud.

"Come on," I muttered, tugging on her hand. "See for yourself."

She moved instantly, walking with quick steps to Jacob's room. The door had been left open, and she paused in the hallway, pressing her hand to her mouth with a gasp as soon as she caught sight of his bandaged body on the bed. I pulled her trembling body against mine, holding her while she tried to control her reaction at seeing Jacob.

"He's fine, Bella. He's healing."

"He doesn't _look_ fine," she whispered.

"That's just because of the bulky leg brace and all the gauze Carlisle had to use on his arm. There's no point in putting a cast on it; he's just assuring that it's immobilized, and I wouldn't be surprised if Carlisle removed it all in a day or two. He's not in any pain, and when he heals – which he is already doing," I repeated, stressing that fact to her, " - he'll be completely fine."

"That's right, Bella." Carlisle appeared behind us with a couple of chairs in his hands. "Jacob will make a full recovery. There will be no lasting damage from his encounter with that newborn."

She nodded, accepting the seat by Jacob's head. She didn't let go of my hand, clutching it tightly the entire time she sat watching him as I had done. Though she sniffed heavily several times, and I saw her lips trembling, her eyes were oddly dry and tear-free. I wondered if this was shock, or due to the unnatural calm that she could pull over herself to hide her emotions.

For the first time since I'd seen Jacob that morning, I sat in his room not watching him, but watching my Bella instead. She didn't speak, and I didn't know what to say that could make any of what had happened better, so I said nothing as well. With the morphine drip set up, there was no longer any need for me to keep him sedated. He slept while his body repaired itself. For over an hour, we sat in his room while I watched the girl I loved as she stared at the boy she loved. I shook my head at the irony. How often had I watched her as she slept? If I wanted to, I was certain that I could tally the exact number of seconds.

My mind returned to Bree, to the girl who could have been my sister, whose bravery had protected both my family and the wolf pack. Her mind had been so clear to me. As a newborn vampire, only a few months old, she'd been a vicious killer. Men and women alike had died to satisfy her thirst, and yet, they never really _did._ No member of my family's thirst was ever truly satisfied. Assuming such an amount of blood would have fit into my stomach, I could have drunk every lion in North America without putting out the fire in my throat. Bree could have drunk every human in Seattle, and then moved on to do the same thing in the next city, and the next, but I was certain that if she had joined our family, we could have taught her to control herself. The fact that she had needed to drink Bella, had screamed in pain from the thirst and yet had not given in, showed me that – given enough time – she would have been capable even of going to school with us one day.

Bree was not my only experience with the mind of a newborn. I'd watched Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett struggle with their thirst and with their guilt when they had killed. Well, Rosalie hadn't felt guilty for the men she'd killed, but - though they'd richly deserved to die for what they'd done to her - her very _lack_ of guilt was worse. She could not heal from the experience if she never learned from it. In addition to them, I'd met other newborns over the past year while hunting Victoria. Every single one of them had been the same: _thirsty._ As I was thirsty, even at that moment. My throat burned and ached, and I knew that – if Bella had her way – soon she would be suffering along with me.

Though I could see Bella's pulse in her throat, see her blood tinting her soft cheeks pink, hear her blood flowing through her body, and see her beautiful chocolate eyes, the image Alice had seen so often was vivid in my mind. If I married her, as I wanted to so very badly, as she had agreed to, despite her fears, then all too soon those soft, pink cheeks would be white and hard, her heart would be silent, and her lovely eyes would be a horrible, bright red. Eternity stretched out before me, and I was certain that no matter what lengths I took to protect her, the day would come when her eyes would burn red with the blood of her victims, just as Bree's had. Just as mine once had.

Why couldn't she see?!

Or... maybe she did, now. While I watched her, I noticed a new look in her eyes. There was a determination in them that I didn't understand, but also a fear, as I had seen once before when Rose had told her of Emmett and Jasper's bet. She'd only ever seen us as the vegetarians we tried to be. The Italian coven she had seen for the nightmares that they were and had heard the screams of the humans as they were killed, but the Volturi had been killing humans for millennia. I knew that she didn't see me as a real vampire, despite all that I had told her of my past.

Of all my family, I was the worst. Esme and Emmett had tried to live as Carlisle had taught us from the beginning, even though they had made mistakes. Jasper too, had made mistakes since coming to live with us. But that was the point! Their kills had been unintentional murders which they had been unable to prevent themselves from making.

Knowing that there was a better way, knowing that it was wrong, I had _chosen_ to be a killer.

Bree was different. She had never known anything other than drinking humans. Bella had just had her first experience with what a newborn vampire was like – with what _she_ would be like. Bella was so stubborn, but I also knew how very smart she was. As I watched her, I felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, at long last, she understood. Maybe, seeing what her future held, she could no longer pretend that she wasn't asking me to make her a killer. Maybe, knowing that she loved the boy who was sleeping on the bed in front of her, she would make the right choice, the sane choice.

Even as I hoped for this, I felt a pain rake through me at the thought, and I wanted to snap Jacob's bones again, this time in such a way that he would not heal. I gritted my teeth, but couldn't look away from her. I needed Bella with every fiber of my being, but I was so very frightened of what her future with me held.

I felt my phone buzz and pulled it out of my pocket. Bella didn't look away from Jacob when I answered. "What is it, Alice?"

"You need to bring Bella home. She needs to look like we spent the day shopping, not like she spent the night camping."

"We'll be right there," I assured her. "Come on, Bella," I said, gently. "It's time to go."

"No," she protested, weakly. "I – I should be here... What if he wakes while I'm not here?"

"You can come back," Carlisle promised her. "As often as you'd like. But right now, we need to reinforce your alibi."

"I've already got an alibi," she argued.

"Yes," he agreed, "but you do not exactly look like someone who has spent the day shopping in high-end boutiques. Alice has some things picked out for you to wear home. Clothes which do not look slept in, as those clearly do."

"How can you expect me to just go play dress-up right now?"

"I expect you to play your part. We have already done what we can to give Jacob's story credence; now it is your turn." When she set her mouth and looked as though she was going to refuse again, Carlisle said, "We have no guarantees that the Volturi have left this area. If you want to protect your father, then you need to do what you can to keep him ignorant of today's events. Even if that means letting Alice dress you up and style your hair."

I tugged on her hand, feeling relieved when she nodded reluctantly and stood without fighting us further. Knowing that Carlisle still needed my assistance, I didn't linger at home, only waiting to see her safely inside before speeding back to the reservation.

Sam was back, visiting his sleeping second-in-command, but he left without a fuss when Carlisle asked him to. We removed the gauze covering his chest, and were both surprised to see most of the bruising had disappeared already. The incision Carlisle had made was a thin pink line that I was certain would be gone completely in a couple of days. Carlisle carefully probed the breaks and was able to confirm that they seemed to be healing as well. We wrapped him in fresh gauze to keep his arm and shoulder in place. Bones took longer to knit than flesh, so the month or so that Carlisle had suggested to me earlier still seemed accurate, although I thought that it was entirely possible for his healing to accelerate as it went along.

Finally, there was nothing more that I could do for him, and Carlisle insisted that I go home. I left him the Mercedes and ran like the wind through the forest, trying to find a hint of the happiness that running usually brought to me. When I crossed the scent of a family of deer, I didn't hesitate, taking down and draining the first one before the others even knew I was there. Two more fell to my thirst just as quickly, but they didn't help.

To my intense disappointment, when I arrived home, Bella was already gone. Upset and anxious, I paced in my room, unable to concentrate on anything other than Bella's face in my mind. She loved Jacob. I knew it, he knew it, and so – at last – did she. I wondered if coming close to losing him to the newborn would make her realize that he was the one she wanted, not me. I wondered if seeing Bree would finally show her that eternity with me was not the fairy tale ending that she imagined. The look on her face while she'd watched him sleep had me terrified that would be the case, no matter how tightly she'd clung to my hand.

Tired of pacing, I took the satin box from the drawer of the table by my bed and removed Bella's ring. The diamonds immediately caught the sun that was streaming through my windows. Hugging my knees as I had often done in my months away from her, I curled up in the middle of my bed where, just two nights ago, I had spent the best night of my entire life. While I waited to find out what my future held, I played with the ring, remembering the way it had looked on her finger, the way it had felt to slide it into place there.

I looked up in surprise when Alice entered my room. Her mind was concentrating firmly on not seeing anything except for my face. "Bella left Jacob's – "

A glimpse of Bella in her truck on the side of the road just outside of the reservation flashed through her mind, and I was gone from my room before Alice finished speaking. I was certain that if my heart still beat, it would have been pounding as I sprinted through the forest toward the reservation. As I ran, I slipped the ring into my pocket. I hadn't taken the time to return it to its box or my table. Only a few minutes later, I saw her rusted, red truck and heard a sound that brought me to a halt instantly. Bella was weeping! Wary, I hastened to her truck, afraid to hope, but unable to stop myself.

I opened her door and slid inside, pulling her into my arms. She fought my hold until she opened her eyes and looked into mine. Her sobs increased in volume, but she wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her shaking body against mine. I pressed my lips together, unhappy and unsure if the reason for her pain was her trying to find the courage to tell me goodbye, or if it was because she had already said as much to Jacob.

Eventually, I heard her trying to speak around her cries and made out Charlie's name. Looking into her tear-streaked face and seeing the obvious pain there, I wasn't sure if it was something that Charlie should witness.

"Are you really ready to go home?"

Around her tears, her voice breaking and trailing off into whimpers, she managed to tell me that she needed to get home before Charlie called over to find out from Billy when his daughter would be coming home. I positioned her against my side and started her truck, driving slowly to try to give her time to collect herself. She calmed her sobs, though her tears continued to stream from her eyes. She found her voice when I parked in front of her house.

"Wait for me upstairs," she said in a low whisper.

Briefly, I felt my arms tighten convulsively around her, not wanting to let her go. I forced myself to leave the truck and sprint up to her bedroom window. As she walked through the living room, I watched her through Charlie's eyes.

"Bella?" When she met his eyes, I knew shock and fear shot through him at her expression. Her eyes were red and streaming with tears, her cheeks were blotchy, and her lips pulled away from her teeth in a vampire-like snarl. Charlie jumped to his feet, imagining Jacob succumbing to his injuries, despite being under the watchful eyes of my father.

"What happened? Is Jacob…?" His voice trailed off.

She shook her head, and I saw her swallow before she began to speak in a low, harsh whisper. "He's fine, he's fine."

"But what happened?" He pulled her around to face him when she turned to walk away and demanded, "What happened to you?"

"Nothing, Dad. I... just had to talk to Jacob about... some things that were hard. I'm fine."

Hearing her words and realizing what they meant, I felt a fierce joy overtake me. If her talk with Jacob had been hard, then it couldn't have been one that had ended in his favor. Which meant that she had chosen me. Again. _Still._ As she always had.

"Was this really the best time?" he muttered, and I could hear the anger in his voice.

"Probably not, Dad," she agreed with him. "But I just didn't have any alternatives – it just got to the point where I had to choose... Sometimes, there isn't any way to compromise."

"How did he handle it?" Charlie asked, warily, wondering if he should call Billy or not. Bella looked at him in disgust and he nodded, deciding that now probably wasn't the best time for the Swans to bother the Blacks.

"I hope you didn't mess up his recovery," he muttered.

"He's a quick healer."

Charlie sighed, having heard the same thing from Sam and Carlisle.

She turned away from him, pushing his hands off of her shoulders. "I'll be in my room."

"'Kay."

I heard her stumbling steps on the stairs and opened her door for her, watching her anxiously, though she didn't even glance in my direction. She walked past me, pulling at the bracelet on her wrist, twisting it around, her nails clawing at the links. I realized she was trying to take it off and took her hands into mine.

"No, Bella. It's part of who you are," I whispered.

She slumped, and I caught her as fresh tears welled up, and her voice rose in a wail. Every tear that leaked from her eyes tore at me _._ She was grieving because she had hurt Jacob, finally rejecting him completely in favor of me, and I was _happy_. She hurt, as I had always known losing him would make her hurt. Despite the joy that filled my body, I ached at her pain, knowing that I was the cause. If not for me, she'd have been happy with him.

I picked her up, closed her door, and sat with her on her bed. Holding her against my body, feeling the way she fit there so perfectly, like we were two halves of the same mold, I gently rocked her in my arms. Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face in my shoulder while she cried her hurt out. As the day wore on, I began to wonder if it would ever end. The sun set and still she cried in my arms. Occasionally, I heard Charlie considering checking on her, but was very glad when he decided against doing so. He shouldn't have found me in her room, but I knew I couldn't have left her.

At one point, her tears dissolved into a laughter that frightened me. There was an edge of hysteria to it, and I didn't know what had brought it on, but I held her through her laughter as I had her tears. It seemed wrong to me, that choosing me should hurt her so badly. If she loved Jacob this much, if leaving him caused her this much pain, shouldn't she be with him? How could choosing me be right if it hurt her this badly?

Her tears eventually trailed away into sniffles until she was quiet, and her body grew limp in my arms. Deciding she finally slept, that her mind had shut itself off from the pain once again, I shifted her onto her bed and watched her face. I saw the lines of pain that I had seen there once before when I had returned from Italy and felt my face twist. I hurt her at every turn! I had hurt her by leaving and now I had hurt her by coming back.

 _No,_ a part of me argued. _She had_ brought _me back._

I had stayed away, as I had promised her that I would. I hadn't returned, though I knew that - as I had told Jacob - I eventually would have. She had found me, had brought me back, and had made it clear to everyone that she belonged to me, as I belonged to her. Even believing that I no longer wanted her, she had made it clear to Jacob from the start that she was mine. As Carlisle had said, we were mates, we were going to be married. But was it really the right choice for her considering everything she would have to give up?

She had love; she could live her life with a man – it really wasn't right for me to call Jacob a boy anymore – a man who loved her, perhaps even as much as I did. A man who could protect her, who was worthy of her, and whom she loved.

No matter how much I loved her and wanted her to be my wife, if choosing me hurt Bella this much, how could it be right in any way? As I'd told her before, if she wanted me in her life at all, I would be in it gladly, in whatever role she wanted me to play. She could choose him, and still have me too, if she wanted. Though seeing her with him, kissing him, marrying him, and having his children would be painful, could it hurt me any worse than what she was feeling in giving all of that up?

When the sun shone on her face the next morning, she opened her eyes and looked directly into mine. Her face was calm, though her eyes were rimmed with red from all the tears she'd shed.

"Hey," she said, her voice rough from all the crying she'd done.

I heard her clear her throat and saw a look of pain cross her face. Anxious, I waited in dread for the tears to begin again. I wasn't sure if I could handle more of them without insisting that she go to him and beg him to take her back.

"No, I'm fine," she insisted. "That won't happen again."

I didn't speak, though I wondered how she could be sure of that. If it caused her as much pain as I had seen, surely one night of tears would not be the end of her grief.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that," she said to my horror. She was apologizing to me for her _pain_. "That wasn't fair to you."

I placed my hands against her soft cheeks and studied her eyes. "Bella… are you _sure?_ Did you make the right choice? I've never seen you in so much pain – " I lost my composure. My throat closed over the word, and I couldn't continue.

Her face softened, a sad smile touching her lips as she reached up to touch mine. "Yes."

I pressed my lips together, hearing the word for which I had longed for so many months come from her mouth. "I don't know..." I hesitated, not wanting to tell her to go to him, but needing to make absolutely certain that she was making the right choice for her. "If it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for you?"

Her mouth twisted. "Edward, I know who I can't live without."

"But..."

She shook her head, insisting, "You don't understand. You may be brave enough or strong enough to live without me, if that's what's best. But I could never be that self-sacrificing. I have to be with you. It's the only way I can live."

Uncomprehending, I stared at her. Jacob had told me that she considered me to be unselfish, though I was the most selfish creature I knew. She said she could never be so self-sacrificing as to give me up, despite the fact that it was her very capacity for self-sacrifice that I had met her. She'd moved here, to this town that she hated, so that her mother could have time alone with her new husband. I would never understand the workings of Bella's mysterious mind.

"Hand me that book, will you?" she gestured to her bedside table.

Confused, I looked to where she pointed, seeing _Wuthering Heights_.

"This again?"

"I just wanted to find this one part I remembered… to see how she said it…" She thumbed through the book, quickly locating the passage that she wanted.

When I'd read through the book weeks earlier, I'd noticed the worn look to that particular page and had wondered why she'd seemed to read the same page over and over.

"Cathy's a monster, but there were a few things she got right. 'If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.'" She nodded, seeming to agree with what she'd read. "I know exactly what she means. And I know who I can't live without."

I felt a smile tugging at my lips. I knew who _I_ couldn't live without. How she could feel the same way about me, I'd never understand, but as long as she was willing to give me the gift of her love, I would accept it, gladly.

I took the book from her, tossing it over my shoulder to land on her desk. "Heathcliff had his moments, too." Bella had teased me for my perfect recall before, and I'd had plenty of occasion to wish that my memory wasn't so clear, but I knew that it would serve me well in that moment as I quoted a passage from the book for myself. Needing to feel her body against me, to smell her hair and feel her skin, I pulled her snugly to me, pressed my lips to her ear, and whispered, "'I _cannot_ live without my life! I _cannot_ live without my soul!'"

"Yes," she agreed. "That's my point."

I shook my head. She didn't understand, though I'd told her from the beginning: Bella _was_ my life. It didn't matter to me so much that I'd lost my soul so many years ago, so long as Bella still had hers. And she didn't _have_ to live without me. I'd tried to tell her: she could have us both, if she wanted. Planning on telling her that she should reconsider her choice, I argued again, "Bella, I can't stand for you to be miserable. Maybe..."

"No, Edward," she said, firmly. "I've made a real mess of things, and I'm going to have to live with that. But I know what I want and what I need... and what I'm going to do now."

Well, whatever it was, I wasn't about to let her do it alone. "What are _we_ going to do now?"

She smiled and sighed heavily. "We are going to go see Alice."


	42. Epilogue - Wedding Plans

**Epilogue – Wedding Plans**

Charlie had made his escape before Bella woke, so I wasn't worried about the roar from her truck as we left her house and drove to mine. She seemed calm and completely unconcerned as she drove, though I couldn't say the same for myself. Alice wasn't the only member of my family who was looking forward to a wedding which I knew would no longer be occurring - at least, not any time soon - and I was not looking forward to telling them that it was off. Maybe one day Bella would be ready, but until then, they would simply have to wait along with me, just as they had done all these years.

I could read the excitement in Alice's mind when Bella drove up my long, twisting driveway. My eyes widened in alarm at some of the images I saw. Did the cake really have to be _that_ big? And who were all of those seats for? What happened to the small wedding Alice had promised us? Not that it truly mattered, since we wouldn't be having one, but that was hardly the point!

She danced up to the truck, clapping and jumping up and down in excitement as Bella climbed out of the cab. "Thank you, Bella!"

"Hold it, Alice. I've got a few limitations for you," Bella warned.

"I know, I know, I know. I only have until August thirteenth at the latest, you have veto power on the guest list, and if I go overboard on anything, you'll never speak to me again."

Bella blinked in surprise, and I held back a laugh. Surely she'd know that for something as big as our wedding, Alice would have paid close attention to any future changes.

"Oh, okay. Well, yeah. You know the rules, then."

"Don't worry, Bella, it will be perfect. Do you want to see your dress?"

The images I caught were a blur of white and gauze and lace as a stream of wedding dresses flowed through Alice's thoughts. I narrowed my eyes at her for hiding something like that from me. No wonder whenever I'd pressed her about my future with Bella, she had refused to let me see anything if she already had Bella's dress in her closet.

I heard Bella breathe deeply and expected her to refuse, but to my surprise, she calmly answered, "Sure."

Alice's grin was blinding, and her thoughts were a constant, high-pitched, _Yay!_ which made me wince.

"Um, Alice. When did you get me a dress?"

Unsurprised by the way she was controlling her emotions, I wanted to laugh at Bella's calm voice.

My sister turned from us to dance up the porch stairs. "These things take time, Bella. I mean, I wasn't _sure_ things were going to turn out this way, but there was a distinct possibility..."

"When?"

"Perrine Bruyere has a waiting list, you know," Alice said, as if either Bella or I would know – or care – who that was. "Fabric masterpieces don't happen overnight. If I hadn't thought ahead, you'd be wearing something off the rack!" She shuddered, as though the thought was offensive. Then again, she _had_ had a hand in designing nearly every wedding dress Rose had worn since Alice had joined our family, so perhaps, to her, it was.

Bella blinked in confusion. "Per – who?"

"He's not a major designer, Bella," Alice hedged. "So there's no need to throw a hissy fit. He's got promise, though, and he specializes in what I needed."

"I'm not throwing a fit." Bella's voice continued to display the same strange calm that she would pull over herself whenever she didn't want to let me see how she felt.

"No, you're not," Alice agreed, eyeing her warily. As we neared her room, she glared at me. "You – out."

Revealing an emotion at last, Bella's eyes showed her bewilderment at Alice's harsh tone. "Why?"

"Bella," she said in exasperation. "You know the rules. He's not supposed to see the dress until the day of."

"It doesn't matter to me," she insisted before taking a deliberately slow breath. "And you know he's already seen it in your head. But if that's the way you want it..."

I could see Alice running through every wedding dress she'd ever seen in an attempt to keep me out, but I wasn't worried about those details at that moment. What concerned me was watching Bella submit to Alice's plans for our wedding, and I remembered my resolve not to force her into anything. Alice put her hands on my chest and pushed me backwards out of her door, though my eyes never left Bella's face as I tried to decipher what she was feeling. She nodded at me just before the door shut inches from my nose.

I walked down the hallway, leaned against the wall, and pulled Bella's ring out of my pocket, concentrating hard on _not_ listening to them. Bella called me self-sacrificing, and herself selfish, though I knew the opposite was true. Her reactions were always the opposite of what she should have. She drew danger to herself instead of running away. She chose the killer who would kill _her_ , instead of the man who could give her a life. Considering what I was planning, I wondered how Alice was capable of seeing the wedding as still on. Well, I knew how fluid the future was. Perhaps, until I convinced Bella otherwise, she wouldn't be able to see anything else.

A sudden burst of joy distracted me, and I heard Jasper laughing in reaction to his wife's emotional outpouring. Alice streaked down the hall squealing, "Esme!" without so much as glancing at me. Her mind was trilling the words _Maid of Honor!_ as she sprinted past me with images of dresses once again flowing through her mind. Instead of white and lace, the dresses I saw now were colorful, and I knew they were meant for her. I tucked the ring back into my pocket a moment before Bella found me.

"That was very, very nice of you," I said, wondering how angry Alice was going to be when I told her the wedding was canceled.

"She seems happy." Bella nodded.

Brushing my fingers against her soft cheek, I knew that this was something better done sooner than later. "Let's get out of here. Let's go to our meadow."

She smiled. "I guess I don't have to hide out anymore, do I?"

"No. The danger is behind us." I shook my head knowing that the only threat to her life now was myself, as usual. She held out her hand to me and I pulled her into place before sprinting to the hidden meadow where I had first told her what she meant to me.

Though I'd often thought of the day we'd spent there, we hadn't returned since that first time. It was cloudy, as it usually was in Forks, but I saw the sun breaking against my skin whenever it peaked through, casting unnatural rainbows onto the flowers as well as Bella's perfect skin. She lay down, not seeming to care that the grass was damp, and I stretched my body out beside hers.

Taking her left hand in mine and playing with the finger that had once worn my mother's ring, I was unsure how to bring up the subject I needed to discuss with her. "August thirteenth?" I probed.

"That gives me a month till my birthday. I didn't want to cut it too close."

Ah, of course. She had a problem with aging. "Esme is three years older than Carlisle – technically. Did you know that?"

She shook her head.

"It hasn't made any difference to them," I insisted.

"My age is not really that important," she said, to my surprise. "Edward, I'm ready. I've chosen my life – now I want to start living it."

I rolled over so that I could see her lovely face. No longer rimmed with red from her night of crying, nor full of the worry that had been there for months, her melted chocolate eyes were clear as she studied the sky beyond me, and the crease that would form between them was absent. She was giving every indication of a person with no concerns over their future, someone who - despite laying beside a vampire - felt completely at ease in the moment.

Trying to get her to look into my eyes, I ran my fingers through her hair. "The guest list veto?"

She shrugged. "I don't care really, but I..." She glanced at me and a look of worry briefly crossed her face before she studied the clouds again. "I'm not sure if Alice would feel the need to invite... a few werewolves. I don't know if... Jake would feel like... like he _should_ come. Like that's the right thing to do, or that I'd get my feelings hurt if he didn't. He shouldn't have to go through that."

I hated the pain I could still hear in her voice when she said his name, but doubted that it would ever truly go away. Studying her face, I knew my earlier decision had been right. I was forcing her into something that she didn't want, but she was so self-sacrificing that she wasn't just submitting to my desire to be married anymore; now it was a full Alice-planned wedding. Not even considering the images that I had just watched in her mind, I'd seen what Alice had done for Rosalie in years past and didn't think that Bella was _really_ prepared for what Alice could do.

Carefully, acutely aware of her fragile body, I wrapped my arms around her waist, rolled to my back, and pulled her so that she straddled me.

"Tell me why you're doing this, Bella. Why did you decide, now, to give Alice free rein?"

She leaned against me with a small smile on her lips. Our faces were only inches apart, and I could feel the warmth of her breath on my skin when she spoke. "It wouldn't be fair to keep Charlie out of this. And that means Renée and Phil. I might as well let Alice have her fun, too. Maybe it will make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper goodbye. Even if he thinks it's much too early, I wouldn't want to cheat him out of the chance to walk me down the aisle."

Bella's mouth twisted as she spoke those three words, as if they tasted sour.

"At least my mom and dad and my friends will know the best part of my choice, the most I'm allowed to tell them. They'll know we're together. They'll know I'm happy, wherever I am. I think that's the best I can do for them."

I placed my hands against her cheeks, thinking hard about her words. Every one of them only confirmed what I'd already known. To make those that she loved happy, she would do anything, sacrifice anything. It was no wonder she was so willing to give up her life for me, I realized. Her willingness to die to spend eternity with me was in line with her larger pattern.

Looking back, I could clearly see every mistake I'd ever made, the results of those actions, and also what would have happened had I acted differently. My thoughts were whirling as I tried to figure out what was the right thing to do. Everything I'd ever tried to do had been wrong when it came to Bella. I'd been wrong to come back to Forks after that first week away.

I tried to push away the inner voice that reminded me that if I hadn't, the van would have crushed her.

If I accepted the necessity of saving her from the van, then I should have left as soon as I had done that deed.

But no, I couldn't have. I'd exposed my unnatural speed and strength to her, and thus put both her and my family at risk from Bella simply knowing that I wasn't human.

Well, alright. However, once I'd been certain that she wasn't going to tell anyone what she'd seen, _then_ I should have left, rather than stick around to fall in love with her.

The annoying inner voice argued back that she'd have been raped and murdered by the men in Port Angeles if I'd left after the van.

Then... once I'd saved her from _them_ , I should have sent her away with her friends, instead of taking her to dinner and letting her see how I felt.

It was too late. She already loved me by that point.

Fine! I argued, firmly. Then I should _never_ have left her!

Perhaps not, but we had both learned so much from that mistake. If I had never left, then she'd never have known what it was to live without me, and might have chosen Jacob over me. Except that she would never have fallen in love with him if I hadn't left. And then wouldn't I always wonder if she'd chosen me only because she'd had no other choice?

Even the choices I'd made that hadn't directly involved Bella had been wrong. I'd lost Victoria due to my carelessness. I should have checked with Alice instead of running off to the Volturi. I should have listened when Bella had told me that she believed Victoria was in charge of the army.

And here I was making her go through a wedding that didn't really matter in the long run. I'd told her that - a hundred years from now - I would explain why it was so important to me, but in a hundred years, would it still seem so important? Though I longed for the ceremony that would celebrate and cement our union, as she'd told me before, it couldn't be any more official than it already was. She had made her choice. I was hers, and she was mine. I had died many, many years ago. What difference did it make if there was a piece of paper that said we were legally married? As soon as I killed her, that paper would become irrelevant. A hundred years from now, we would both be considered long dead, but we would still be together, and wasn't that what truly mattered?

If I was to learn anything from the past year, it should be to _listen_ to Bella, to trust her. She was always right.

And she didn't want to get married.

"Deal's off," I said, firmly.

" _What?"_ I heard her heart stuttering as her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. "You're backing out? No!"

"I'm not backing out, Bella. I'll still keep my side of the bargain, but you're off the hook. Whatever you want. No strings attached." Whatever she wanted, I would give to her, as I had always known to be true. But no longer would I demand a concession from her in exchange.

She frowned at me. "Why?"

"Bella, I see what you're doing. You're trying to make everyone else happy. And I don't care about anyone else's feelings. I only need _you_ to be happy. Don't worry about breaking the news to Alice. I'll take care of it." In fact, I had little doubt that she was watching the future change even at that moment. "I promise she won't make you feel guilty."

"But I – "

I tried to explain to her what I'd finally realized. "No. We're doing this your way. Because my way doesn't work. I call you stubborn, but look what _I've_ done. I've clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what's best for you, though it's only hurt you." My voice dropped into a whisper. "Hurt you so deeply, time and time again. I don't trust myself anymore. You can have happiness your way. My way is always wrong.

"So." I shifted slightly in the grass and tried to prepare myself for her death. "We're doing it _your way,_ Bella. Tonight. Today. The sooner the better. I'll speak to Carlisle. I was thinking that maybe if we gave you enough morphine, it wouldn't be so bad. It's worth a try." Since Jacob hadn't been able to feel any pain when he'd been under its influence, perhaps I could spare Bella at least some of what I knew was coming, though I doubted it would completely keep her from feeling any of the pain of transformation.

Though I tried, I couldn't block from my mind the sounds of Esme's screams after Carlisle had bit her. Or those of Rosalie's. Emmett's had been loud enough to clear the forest for miles around. And in each case, I wouldn't hear just their voices screaming, but I'd watch the pain in their minds too, and feel the phantom burn in my veins. At least with Bella, I'd only hear what everyone else did. Pushing the memory away, I concentrated on the vibrant girl who was pressed against me.

"Edward, no – "

"Don't worry, Bella, love. I haven't forgotten the rest of your demands." My voice sounded strange to me and my body swiftly filled with an excitement for which I had no comparison. Her hair smelled of strawberries, and her body gave off the sweet freesia scent that I cherished. Surrounded as I was by her scent, I wanted to feel her body wrapped around me, to feel her skin against mine, and to lose myself in her love. My hands thrust themselves into her hair as I pulled her face to mine and pressed my lips to hers.

Her body reacted as I matched my actions to my words. I heard her sharp intake of breath as she realized what I intended. Bella's heart broke into a sprint and her scent was abruptly overwhelming.

There was no reason to wait any more. She was certain I wouldn't kill her, so I'd trust her judgement. What did sex outside of marriage really matter? I'd be killing her soon. Either her soul would be fine, or it would be destroyed. In the greater picture of life and death, of killing her and of her killing others, how could engaging in the physical act of love make a difference to the fate of our souls? She was convinced that I still had mine, and if that were true, then she would keep hers as well.

Her hands wrapped around my arms, and her mouth moved against mine as she pressed herself tighter to me. Overjoyed that she wasn't objecting, I rolled us over, covering her body with mine. This was the perfect place, in our meadow, where I had first told her I loved her, where she had first told me that she didn't want to live without me. Making certain that I didn't put too much weight on her, I breathed her in and traced her lips with mine. Her head moved back and forth, trying to break away from my kiss. I let her breathe and sought my favorite soft spot under her ear.

"Stop, Edward. Wait." Her voice was the barest whisper.

"Why?" I moved slowly against her throat, finding the spot under her other ear.

"I don't want to do this now," she objected. Her body was telling me otherwise, though. Her heart was pounding as it had done on the night she'd asked me to make love to her. I could smell her lust in her hormones and was sure that whatever objection she might make was for my benefit.

"Don't you?" I laughed and captured her mouth again. Her hands traveled from my arms up into my hair, and she pulled me closer to her, pressing us firmly together. I shifted, moving one of my legs between hers. She gasped, and her heart beat sped up even further. Her scent was dizzying, and I tried to keep my wits. I couldn't completely lose myself in her embrace if I wanted her to survive. I could feel her heart pounding against where mine had once beat and ran a hand along her curves.

She moved her hands between us, but instead of caressing my chest as she had done in my bedroom, she pushed me away. Surprised, I pulled away from her lips and looked into her melted chocolate eyes. I was burning with need for her. Every inch of her warm body against mine was like a furnace, but it wouldn't have mattered if she were as cold as I was. The prospect of making love to her would have set me on fire, either way.

"Why?" I demanded when she shook her head. "I love you. I want you. Right now."

Bella's eyes widened in response to my honest intensity, and I kissed her again. I had wanted her from the start, just as she wanted me. She had chosen me every time, though I had tried to give her every option to choose someone else... or so I had told myself.

What I'd really done was reject her and push her away, refusing to see what she'd told me time and again. She loved me. She wanted me. She belonged to me the way that I belonged to her. Trying to force her to choose someone else had hurt not just her, but everyone involved. I could no longer deny the fact that we were mates. It was about time that we acted like it.

"Wait, wait," she mumbled against my mouth.

"Not for me."

_"Please?"_

I groaned, trying to contain my need for her. I rolled off of her, laying on my back and fighting to gain control of my breathing. She was gasping for breaths too, but her body actually needed oxygen.

Every breath that I pulled in tasted like her, smelled like her. My lips tingled from the warmth of her kisses and my hands ached to explore her soft curves once more. "Tell me why not, Bella. This had better not be about me."

"Edward, this is very important to me. I _am_ going to do this right."

"Whose definition of right?" I demanded, knowing that the last time we'd had this argument, I had been insisting that "right" meant waiting.

"Mine," she said, firmly.

I rolled onto my side so I could see her face, hoping that I'd be able to see her emotions. _"How_ are you going to do this right?"

She pulled in a deep breath. "Responsibly."

That word shouldn't have been surprised me. She always did the right thing, going to class when she should, taking care of both her mother and her father, holding down that ridiculous job so that she could pay her own way into a college she didn't plan on attending.

"Everything in the right order. I will not leave Charlie and Renée without the best resolution I can give them. I won't deny Alice her fun, if I'm having a wedding anyway. And I _will_ tie myself to you in every human way, before I ask you to make me immortal. I'm following all the rules, Edward. Your soul is far, far too important to me to take chances with. You're not going to budge me on this."

Amused at her determination to protect me – my _soul_ – I watched her eyes, seeing the fiery strength in them that I'd always loved.

"I'll bet I _could,"_ I argued, knowing that her body would react to mine if I continued.

"But you wouldn't. Not knowing that this is what I really need."

"You don't fight fair," I scolded, feeling both disappointed and relieved.

"Never said I did," she agreed with a grin.

"If you change your mind…"

"You'll be the first to know."

True to our corner of the world, the clouds began to release their moisture, and drops of rain began to fall. Bella scowled at the sky, but I held back a smile. I guessed it was a good thing she'd stopped me, proving that she knew what was best, as always.

Wiping the rain drops from her cheeks, I said, "I'll get you home."

"Rain's not the problem. It just means that it's time to go do something that will be very unpleasant and possibly even dangerous."

Wary, I watched her, wondering what she could have in mind.

She sighed and, to my delight, said, "It's a good thing you're bulletproof. I'm going to need that ring. It's time to tell Charlie."

I couldn't hold back my laugh at the expression on her face and didn't bother trying. Glad that I just happened to still have the ring with me, I pulled it out of my pocket with a smirk. "Highly dangerous, but at least there's no need for a side trip."

I reached for her hand, watching her eyes as she smiled back at me and placed her hand into mine without hesitating. Bella's ring slid into place on her finger once more, confirming what we both knew already: she belonged to me and no one else, just as I was hers, and would forever be.

**To be continued...**

* * *

**Author's Note**

And so we've reached the end of yet another book in Edward's Saga, but this isn't the end! Dawn will be breaking soon.

Sadly, Nessie has NOT been born yet (stupid writer's block grumble grumble). I was stuck on the night Jacob was sleeping after Bella broke her rib for... what, two stinking months? Bah. Anyways, I'm past it now and boldly declaring that the plan is still a go for November. *bites lip* Just please don't get upset if it ends up being December instead. Life happens, and we've got a busy few months at work coming up. However, I am looking forward to getting Dawn going, so it won't be longer than that. There's just a few things in a couple of early chapters that I need to iron out, and then I'll be ready.

Chances are that you're anticipating there will be a lot of original Cullen family scenes in Dawn, and you're absolutely right about that! There will be fun, drama, angst, and pranks and no Cullen will be left out. Meyer left me with a LOT of holes to fill, so it's been fun coming up with logical and practical (and sometimes, not-so-practical) ways to justify the many things she tossed at us. However, as always, I've done my best to make sure that everything fits into canon, with the movies tucked in as appropriate.

Only... would y'all tar and feather me if I named the baby Elizabeth? :-) That'd be cool, right? :-D What do you mean no?! :-C You're suuuure? Rats...

To everyone: I want to say a huge thank you for your support! The simple fact that you've read this story means so much to me. I've had so much fun writing Edward, but this wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable without someone to share it with. If you've enjoyed reading, I'd love it if you left some Kudos! 

Of course, once Dawn is done, I'm thinking there is one glaring omission in this Saga... Every story needs a beginning, no?

Until next time,

~L


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